nape hair won't cooperate

[moss]

my nape hair is the reason that i'm back here on the longhairforums.

it's all stretched out,
it seems to have several different curl patterns,
i find hairs with knots tied in them back there
it's brittle and dry despite giving it lots of extra moisture and oil for the last month and a half
it's all different lengths, from 1/2 cm to 20 cm
it always feels tangled
it looks awful and it really bugs me


i don't know what to do with it.

trim? it's awkward and i can't really reach that area properly by myself
get my husband to do a search and destroy? i might end up with it all cut off if i let him at it with my hair scissors!
just try to ignore it?
if i shave it off, it's going to grow back and be a completely different length than the rest of my hair, and stubbly.


are there any kind of treatments that i should try? would protein help or would it make it worse? i've tried flax gel, aloe vera, a mix of shea butter/coconut oil/jojoba oil, using various cone-free conditioners as a leave in on that area. nothing that i've tried so far really makes it look or feel any nicer. i don't wear necklaces, i switched to using pantyhose elastics so it would be gentler on my hair--i think a lot of the damage was caused by some crappy goody elastics that i got rid of, i sleep on silk, i'm mindful of that area so that it doesn't get smushed into my clothes...

[lapushka]

Are you talking about the wispy hairs? Maybe take a look at this thread first:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=131555

[moss]

i wish it was wispy hair. it's just at the nape, nowhere else, and it's a tangly, knotty, mess. i tried to get a picture of it, it's especially bad today, but i can't seem to get a decent picture that shows what's going on. i'll try to get my husband to take a picture later.

[littletiern]

I have the same problem! And have a totally different hair type than you do (fairly new to this so I can't remember the exact language but it's straight, little to no wave, fine-to-medium thickness). My hairstylist (who only colors with semi-permanent, no cuts!) said it could be from using bobby pins when I wear it up. I was using a combo of bobby and u-pins (hair pins? whatever they're called) and now only use u-pins. I do have more of those pesky stragglers hanging out of a bun now but it's better than causing more potential damage, if that really was the cause. Would love any help with this too!

[littletiern]

I guess I do know my hair type lol! I haven't logged in years, I should probably update the length...

[lapushka]

i wish it was wispy hair. it's just at the nape, nowhere else, and it's a tangly, knotty, mess. i tried to get a picture of it, it's especially bad today, but i can't seem to get a decent picture that shows what's going on. i'll try to get my husband to take a picture later.

Have you had bleach or some sort of dye in your hair?
Do you wear scarves a lot?

I'm really puzzled.

If you use conditioner, get one for dry, damaged hair, those are the most moisturizing on the market. And see how far that gets you with your next wash. I'd also start oiling the hair (either pre-poo, or rinse-out, or as a leave-in treatment).

[Anje]

On me, it goes quite a ways down my neck and ties knots constantly. Honestly, I tended to hack it off at about 1-2 inches long whenever the knotting got bad. The small offending sections (just a tiny bit on either side, really) never would get more than about 4 inches long no matter what I did, so cutting them a bit shorter really wasn't a substantial difference.

Edit: I'm not talking about cutting the whole area. I just trimmed these bits that would make concentric spirals that turn into knots as soon as they go far enough around.
http://i.imgur.com/2WJqIbm.jpg

[neko_kawaii]

I have proper curls at nape, that is when they aren't frizzy, mixed in with overlaying longer wavy hairs, or tying themselves in knots.

Curious what evidence you have for their being brittle. Many people find that their nape is shorter than other hair, that isn't because it is breaking, but due to a combination of shorter terminal length and slower growth that section of hair is just going to remain shorter. That said, the difference in texture, exposure to collars or other things to rub on, tendency to escape from buns, etc means they are more likely to tangle, knot, and break.

What to do with them? Some people remove them (trim, shave). I accept that nothing is picture perfect and I ignore them (except for being aware I need to go slower detangling that area). Sometimes, I will carefully separate them out, wet them down, and let them curl.

[mizukitty]

Oh goodness I know the struggle. My hair is on the straight side and I have a lot of problems with my nape hairs! They're a lot softer, silkier, and smoother than the rest of my hair (I guess they're more fine) and I think that's why they're prone to damage. But yeah, tangles and knots galore!

Best advice is: silicones (keep them to a minimum and only use on problem areas if you're trying to avoid build up etc), braids, updos, and pretty much babying the area as much as you can. Protein helps too.

[hobbitlocks]

So I have, I think, similar issues. neko covered a lot of it -- nape hair just behaves differently than hair on the rest of your head and for some people it misbehaves! Mine is definitely curlier than the rest of my hair and never feels as smooth and soft no matter what I put it in it. It's also the only place I ever have single strand knots. Things that have helped me are:
- making sure some of my coney second conditioner (which I mostly put on my ends) makes its way to those hairs
- very carefully finger detangling that portion before I do any other detangling
- wearing my buns lower so it is less likely to escape and get tied up unto knots
- not wearing a specific necklace all the time

I think the necklace made the biggest difference. I used to wear a cross necklace 24/7 and it would get caught in my hair and was really exacerbating all the other issues. I started by just making sure to take it off at night and not wearing it quite every day. Eventually, I tried experimenting with different chains I had and I found that for whatever reason one of the chains I had didn't catch my hair (it's a lobster clasp not an o-clasp which may have something to do with it). Anyway, now I do wear my cross pendant 24/7 again, but without the same issue. With the combination of those things, mine weird nape hairs have gotten longer and I find them easier to deal with. Now I can wear my buns higher/where I like and most of those ends still stay in. I get some weird braid shred though!

[Kellylee]

I know if I wear hoodies or any clothing that rubs the nape of my neck I get a huge matted chunk of hair. I don't know if this is relevant or not.

[unheardletters]

My nape hair is just terrible. It is much curlier than the rest of my hair, very dry and rough feeling no matter what I try, and very prone to split ends. I keep that area cut short now to about 1" so it doesn't get tangled (lots of knots if it gets more than 1.5" long) and damaged. I avoid wearing necklaces or high necked shirts as that causes friction damage.

[Saldana]

I have nape hair that is completely different in texture from the rest of my hair. Occasionally, it will kind of curl, but mostly, it frizzes. It never gets longer than about 4 inches. It is kind of brittle, coarse, and dry feeling. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do to it, so my solution is to bobby pin it into my updo, and forget about it.

:shrug:

[moss]

http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh634/moss72/side%20view_zps1q89ovpr.jpg (http://s1255.photobucket.com/user/moss72/media/side%20view_zps1q89ovpr.jpg.html)http://s1255.photobucket.com/user/moss72/media/side%20view_zps1q89ovpr.jpg.html?postlogin=true
http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh634/moss72/back%20view_zps8x8ipzot.jpg (http://s1255.photobucket.com/user/moss72/media/back%20view_zps8x8ipzot.jpg.html)

This is probably the worst that it ever gets. This is the end of the day, after i had spent lots of time outside in the wind. There's one ringlet, and the rest is just a spazzy mess. LOL Looking at it now, it looks like a couple of bobby pins would probably be the easiest fix. If trimming would prevent it from knotting up (seriously, single strand knots are the weirdest thing!) i might try that.

[moss]

On me, it goes quite a ways down my neck and ties knots constantly. Honestly, I tended to hack it off at about 1-2 inches long whenever the knotting got bad. The small offending sections (just a tiny bit on either side, really) never would get more than about 4 inches long no matter what I did, so cutting them a bit shorter really wasn't a substantial difference.

Edit: I'm not talking about cutting the whole area. I just trimmed these bits that would make concentric spirals that turn into knots as soon as they go far enough around.
http://i.imgur.com/2WJqIbm.jpg

your nape hairs are so cute! i wish mine would curl up like that. Lucky!! :)

[moss]

I have proper curls at nape, that is when they aren't frizzy, mixed in with overlaying longer wavy hairs, or tying themselves in knots.

Curious what evidence you have for their being brittle. Many people find that their nape is shorter than other hair, that isn't because it is breaking, but due to a combination of shorter terminal length and slower growth that section of hair is just going to remain shorter. That said, the difference in texture, exposure to collars or other things to rub on, tendency to escape from buns, etc means they are more likely to tangle, knot, and break.

What to do with them? Some people remove them (trim, shave). I accept that nothing is picture perfect and I ignore them (except for being aware I need to go slower detangling that area). Sometimes, I will carefully separate them out, wet them down, and let them curl.
it feels brittle despite everything i've done to moisturize the area. and it breaks at the knots.

judging by what people are saying, i have a few more things to try like silicone and protein, pinning it up, etc.

[Siri]

I hate my nape hair. It's stringy straight and when I wear my hair up there's no way the nape hair doesn't end up hanging down. It really looks messy and unkempt, I don't wear my hair up very often because of it. :justy:

[EdG]

Try a thorough detangling. My nape hairs are great at collecting lint, which leads to tangles. The hairs need to be combed from all angles to get rid of the tangles.
Ed

[moss]

in case anybody is curious, i ended up trimming the nape hairs a bit and i'm sooo much happier with them now!! it got rid of all the stretched out ends that were tangling around on themselves, and now my nape hairs are behaving, going into proper curls. more curl definition on the left than the right, but so much better than before. my husband says they look like they did when i was younger, when they only grew to be a short length. it makes me wonder if nape hairs are like men's eyebrows, where as you age, they start growing longer!! LOL

i also did a gelatin protein treatment followed by a smt, and my hair is so nice now, all over smoother and shinier, and silkier.

[guywithlonghair]

Shouldn't you just cut it to even it all out?