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View Full Version : Is it really that difficult to find a hairdresser who just does what you want?



The Maple Leaf
April 1st, 2017, 12:01 AM
The issue of hairdressers who cut off more hair than you asked or do other things you don't want is a common complaint and is obviously an old-hat topic on this forum. Typical allegations include:

-Stylists always cut off more than the person asked

-They don't like working with long hair

-They do the opposite of what you asked, including giving you what you specifically told them not to give you (e.g. I've read complaints such as "nine out of ten times, they layer it even though I specifically asked them not to/even though I asked for a blunt cut")

-They try to persuade a client to change their hair when said client is satisfied with their current hair and only wants a trim to maintain it (e.g. give an unsolicited remark that they need layers "to make the hair look thicker" or "to frame their face", or tell the client that she is too old for her hair length, or want to cut off more than the client wants due to perceived damage to the hair, or point out that the client is going gray in hopes that said client will agree to add a dye job to the bill).

Now, is this really typical stylist behavior? Are stylists really a race of people who, with rare exceptions, tend to have this kind of overbearing behaviors, incompetence and professional deformities, acting like they know better than their clients and outright disrespecting their requests or at least pressuring them to let the stylist do what (s)he wants? Are the above criticisms of stylists really more or less true across the board, and is it really that hard to find a stylist who will just trim an inch off your lenght when you ask them to, not cut more off than that one inch thay you requested trimmed, and let you go home without trying to convince you to do something different to your hair, time after time, or is it really a near-impossibility to find such a stylist? Is it an urban myth with a few grains of truth that "stylists never do what you want" (at least in the case of low-maintenance clients who only want one-length trims and are not interested in trying out different cuts, styles and chemical processing), or is it really a very common phenomenon? Does it depend on what category of salon you go to?

I am not asking with regards to any personal experience but am merely exploring the issue for the benefit of society at large. As I have already stated several times, I have been cutting my own hair for most of my adult life. I don't have direct experience with this problem, but then again, I'm a guy, and for most of the time that I had my hair cut professionally, it was the same short regular barber cut. Just out of interest, though: I won't go into my communication with my last regular barber (who cut my hair from when I was 8 to when I was 20), as it was good at one point but near the end was made confusing by among other things my own plans to transition to a scruffier look and my being unsure as to how I wanted it cut. I had only one professional haircut after him, when I was 22 and had recently grown out a man-bob. I went to a hole-in-the-wall barbershop/men's hairstylist's, and if I recall correctly the woman who cut my hair did do what I asked her to without question - she trimmed the bob by how much I asked her to. The only thing was that she left some strands in the back that I had to trim myself at home; I'm guessing that, it being the kind of place that it was, she was used to mainly cutting short hair and a bob was not what she typically did.

Later, I would like to start a more hands-on thread about how to minimize the risk of hairdressers cutting off too much and so on, but first, I would be interested in some opinions as to how extensive the said problem is. Are there more good, client-respecting hairdressers than some people's comments about their negative experiences would let on?

lithostoic
April 1st, 2017, 12:22 AM
I've never had a stylist not try to get me to do what THEY want. And I'm very specific. And yes, most of the time they've gone and done it after I've said no, I don't want that.

Aredhel
April 1st, 2017, 01:53 AM
There are stylists out there who do respect their clients' wishes but they are few and far between. I have encountered 2 who were very helpful in trying to maintain my length while trimming. Unfortunately though they were quite expensive so I just learned to cut my own hair instead.

Reyesuela
April 1st, 2017, 02:50 AM
Go somewhere really cheap like Supercuts or to a barbershop. The key words are, "I just want a small trim." Trims are often separately priced at these places. Tell them you want half as much off as you really do. Demonstrate that lesser length. Then they'll take exactly the amount you want off.

This has never failed me.

_fred_
April 1st, 2017, 02:54 AM
In my experience it's really variable. As a child and teen, hairdressers would always cut off more than I asked, every single time. As an adult I've mostly had good stylists, but I had a really bad experience once and it still confuses me. I asked her to dye my roots auburn to match the rest of my hair, and to refresh the colour in all of it. I was clear that I loved the auburn and wanted it to come out that colour. Auburn, simple right? Nope. She dyed all of my hair dark burgundy with a bright white stripe at the front - totally not what I wanted, and I was pretty devastated by it. I didn't have the confidence to complain about it, so I never challenged her, I just paid up and left. I couldn't have challenged her as she did it, because I wasn't wearing my glasses when she applied the dye so I couldn't really see what she was doing.

Now I dye my hair myself, and I'm really careful about who I'd trust with it. As for cuts, my current stylist has mid back length hair, and can be trusted to only trim a little. I'll be sticking with her.

tigereye
April 1st, 2017, 04:03 AM
I have found only 1 hairdresser who didn't try to push me to cut my hair. When she wasn't available, and another at the salon did it, they always tried to push for something (i.e. Like layers), and they always cut off at least twice what I'd asked for.

Since I moved, I haven't been to get mine cut - it's not worth the hassle of trying to find someone good, and it's expensive anyhow.

The Ubiquitous
April 1st, 2017, 04:28 AM
I've generally been ok over the last few years although I've had technically poor/unskilled cuts but they did attempt to do what I asked. My most recent hairdresser is so frustrating. Sometimes her cuts were amazing but other times they were complete hatchet jobs eg far too short fringes. I won't be going back again.
As a student I did experience what you describe though. They would hack at my layers meaning my hair was mid back with layers above my ears despite me repeatedly telling them I wanted them shoulder length or longer. I'd even explain why. Or they would thin my hair without asking. I got very good at saying "stop" and was probably perceived as a "difficult" customer.
My first proper hair cut was painful. I had thick, frizzy hair. This was pre-straighteners and I didn't have a clue about hair products or styling. I went to the hairdresser with a picture of a heavily layered feather cut and thin fringe. She did what I asked without any comments. AFTERWARDS she told me my hair was too thick for the cut, I wouldn't be able to style it and I wouldn't be able to even tie it up. I cried but my mum was delighted becajse she didn't want me to even get my hair trimmed, let alone cut into a style. There were lots of "told you so"s.
ETA agree with Supercut type places. They work on an in-out basis so won't mess about doing stuff you don't want or wasting their time trying to persuade you to do longer services. I always found them fine for a quick trim.
I've only ever found 2 hairdressers I really, really liked. One opened her own salon but it was only for men. The other who was amazing with colour and would make suggestions whether or not you asked but would respect your wishes. He became a air steward. :(

lapushka
April 1st, 2017, 06:36 AM
I always got what I wanted and asked for, but in one instance when I got a student (and wasn't aware). She totally did *her* thing and when I asked for a simple blunt cut with regular bangs, she gave me a 80s rock-style big poodle cut with heavy layering. Should have seen those bangs. I called the manager over and told her what had happened. She fixed it herself, and had to give me a short bob (ear length) with very short bangs (think half my forehead). It was just prior to me graduating too. :( That was the thing. When my mom came and picked me up from the appointment, she was in shock and the first words out of her mouth were something along the lines of, what did you do to your hair. Then I explained.

PillowForts17
April 1st, 2017, 06:41 AM
The only times I didn't have issues with hairdressers were the times I went in for trims while growing out my hair for my wedding. For me, the magic words were always "I just want a really small trim because I'm getting married in blank number of months." All of the other times I've gotten a hair cut I've walked out with what I didn't want. Including the time back in August when I did the big chop to chin. Also, please note that even people not of the LHC complain about hairdressers not doing what they want. Before LHC and before trying to grow out my hair for my wedding, I had these problems with hairdressers.

pili
April 1st, 2017, 09:19 AM
I've had exactly two stylist who cut my hair right. One was actually my cousin's wife. She owned a salon and cut all my family's hair, and I went to her from 11-24 yo. The other was a client of mine, and we knew each other well before I trusted her with my hair. All the others were horrible: uneven cuts, too much layering, triangle head cuts, too short trims. Now I cut my own hair. I'll never go back to a salon unless it's a George Michaels trained salon. I'll be saving up for that in five years.

Obsidian
April 1st, 2017, 09:31 AM
I have to ask, those of you who have gotten bad cuts/unwanted advice, what kind of a salon are you going to? Are they high end salons or chain type businesses? I wonder because I've never really had issues with stylists cutting off too much or giving me the wrong cut. I only go to small local places or a chain stores like fantastic sams. I have gotten a couple bad cuts but they seemed more due to inexperienced stylist just doing a bad job.

Seems like the high end salons are more about "style", wanting to give you a fancy, needs upkeep type cut instead of just trimming what they see as unstyled hair.

pili
April 1st, 2017, 09:41 AM
I have to ask, those of you who have gotten bad cuts/unwanted advice, what kind of a salon are you going to? Are they high end salons or chain type businesses? I wonder because I've never really had issues with stylists cutting off too much or giving me the wrong cut. I only go to small local places or a chain stores like fantastic sams. I have gotten a couple bad cuts but they seemed more due to inexperienced stylist just doing a bad job.

Seems like the high end salons are more about "style", wanting to give you a fancy, needs upkeep type cut instead of just trimming what they see as unstyled hair.
I've run the gammut from discount chains, to barber shops, to Deva trained and high-end. Didn't seem to matter. They had no clue how to handle my hair, and every one of them said I had damaged, horrible hair just because I do not have soft hair. I have corse hair. Now I can recognize healthy corse hair, back then I just felt like a loser because my hair didn't meet their standards. Oh, and not one of them knew how to style it afterwards. Even if they gave me a blowout (which I learned to refuse), it came out looking like crimped hair or an 80s perm. The last few times I went to a salon, I insisted on resetting and styling my curls using the CG method myself. They were confused and fascinated by the process and results.

Fia
April 1st, 2017, 10:51 AM
My only gripe with "regular" hairdressers (i.e. non-GM trained) is that they always want to cut off more than what I want taken off. If I ask for a trim of 1/2 inch or even less than that, just a dusting, anything from 1 to 3 inches may be the end result. Not quite as scary as some horror stories I've seen with 10 inches being taken off, but still a large enough difference when you want to grow your hair.

With that said, they've been polite and professional in all other aspects and respected the wishes of no colour, no styling and no shaping of the hair other than taking off a bit from the very ends.

Rebel Rebel
April 1st, 2017, 11:12 AM
I had 1 stylist for about 10 years that will always stand out as being a rare professional and exacting artist. I would go to again if I ever needed to.

I think that negative experiences really stand out from the positives. This can lead to generalizations or fears to trust someone handling your hair. I expressed mine in a previous thread.

I'd say I've had about 4 "traumatic" experiences at salons which led me to decide to either cut my own hair or stop coloring. The truth is I've had my hair done countless times and most of the time I've received what I asked for, to the best of their ability.

I think sometimes people ask for something, then regret it when it's not exactly as they envisioned or regret it later realizing it was damaging etc. Its important to communicate in detail what you do/don't want and not just agree with your stylist because you're afraid to speak up. If you can, request a consultation to interview your stylist and allow them to hear your needs. Don't let them start on your hair until you're comfortable they know what you want. Since you're letting someone else do your hair, you have to realize it's a collaboration of your idea and their talent.

I can recall a few stylist who would trim a piece of my hair then show me how much. This works really well for your comfort and the stylist. I've also had more than I wanted cut off but never like the stories I've read here. Still, if I say 1 inch and they do 2, that's really annoying.

Aunty Miki
April 1st, 2017, 11:29 AM
I've never been disappointed with cheap chain salons. I'm very clear on what I want and am never pressured into anything. Most I've paid is $15+tip. Why go to expensive places? I don't get it.

Chant
April 1st, 2017, 11:43 AM
My experiences have been a mixed bag. What often seems to happen to me is I go to a new stylist, and for the first two-three cuts they listen to me and do exactly as I ask. Then somewhere along the way, for reasons I have never been able to ascertain, they stop listening and either get lazy or decide to do what they want rather than what I said. Cue trying to find a new stylist. The worst experience I ever had was my senior year in high school. My hair grows at a painfully slow rate. It always has. After years of growing, I finally had it down to bra strap length. The guy cutting my hair was supposedly one of the best in the city, and this was shortly before graduation. I should have known something was up when he turned me away from the mirror to start working on me. He cut my length all the way up to a just past chin length bob and told me it was more flattering for my face. I bawled my eyes out. Four different female clients in the salon got up and came over to put their arms around me. Needless to say, I didn't pay him for the cut and I never went back to that salon. I have avoided high end salons ever since then, because it's my impression they get massive egos and think they know best, and you're somehow supposed to bow down and be grateful for their "vision" rather than getting what you want.

I've had more bad run-ins with colorists than just getting haircuts. One who somehow got me platinum blonde all over when I just wanted a few highlights, another who basically put a white skunk streak in my red hair. WTF, because I definitely didn't ask for anything like that. I looked like Rogue from the X-men with short hair. One who somehow gave me dark green hair when I asked for black, and it took FOREVER for the green to go away. One who kept insisting I'd look better ash blonde than the golden I was asking for, to the point I walked out of the appointment rather than letting her touch my hair.

Since going my natural gray, I've had a few try to tell me they can whip up a color that will stay even if my hair is color resistant. I've said no thank you and made note of who was pushy so as not to get them again.

Now that I'm actively going for as much length as I can, I'll be avoiding the salon for as long as possible. I may need to go to one to get a few tiny trims until it's long enough for me to handle it myself, but I will be watching them like a hawk and stopping them if it looks like they're taking off more than I said. I don't care if they wind up calling me difficult or not. It's my hair, not theirs, and if they didn't want to listen to clients, they should have gone into a different line of work.

Rebel Rebel
April 1st, 2017, 12:11 PM
A few more random thoughts on hair color/bleach-
Most hairdressers aren't actually good colorists. I know they should be, but it takes a certain individual to really understand the math, science and theory of it all. It takes someone with a lot of skill to see the outcome before its even done. Also important is someone that has a good understanding of chemistry and the lifting action of each volume. A good hairstylist will communicate their limitations or advise you to see their color specialist for example. I've learned this the hard way. The further you stray from your natural coloring the more difficult it becomes to achieve the desired look.

tigereye
April 2nd, 2017, 02:14 AM
I have to ask, those of you who have gotten bad cuts/unwanted advice, what kind of a salon are you going to? Are they high end salons or chain type businesses? I wonder because I've never really had issues with stylists cutting off too much or giving me the wrong cut. I only go to small local places or a chain stores like fantastic sams. I have gotten a couple bad cuts but they seemed more due to inexperienced stylist just doing a bad job.

Seems like the high end salons are more about "style", wanting to give you a fancy, needs upkeep type cut instead of just trimming what they see as unstyled hair.

I've done both, and had bad experiences at both. The one where I found a hairdresser that would do what I wanted every time was high-end, but then the day I got my mums regular hairdresser at the same place instead (we have similar names, so they got us mixed up), I was pestered before, during and after about how thin my ends were and I needed more chopped off. I asked for 2", got 4". She wanted to take off more than a foot, from classic all the way up to above hip, because they looked "thin and damaged". Actually, it wasn't damaged, just thin because a giant shed a few years ago hadn't grown all the way down yet.

AliceRuth
April 3rd, 2017, 10:10 AM
When I had other people cut my hair, it was either a family member, who always did as they were asked, or a trainee hairdresser. The trainees at our local college back home are keen to please their clients, and they're under supervision from the lecturers, so should they ever feel unsure or need guidance, they can ask for help. I never had them cut any more off than I wanted; I found that they were cautious about it because they were learning still, and didn't want to do anything wrong. The lecturers always kept an eye on what was happening, too, and always came over to discuss what we wanted with the stylist before any sharp implements went anywhere near the hair, and often would make sure the stylist showed on the length the amount they understood needed to be cut off. My mum, sister, and I never had a bad experience with the trainee hairdressers - I can only hope that they don't lose the care they so clearly had in the classroom once they finish their training and are free to cut hair in the wild.

Mlarmour
April 3rd, 2017, 12:57 PM
I've always been pretty loyal about hairdressers. I went to the same hairdresser for 14/15 years until the lady who owned the shop retired and sold it. I've been with my current hairdresser pretty much since. I did try a local chain hairdressers but didn't like it. The stylists were good and gave me what I wanted but I disliked the who experience, as a general rule I don't enjoy going to salons.
My current hair dresser now works from her home so it's perfect for me. She's always been really good at listening about what I want. She usually cuts a little shorter than I ask for to make sure I'm happy. If I want something that isn't suitable for me, she'll suggest ways of adapting what I want. Though on occasion she's cut my hair, giving me what I wanted knowing that I'd come to hate it like she cut me the full fringe I asked for and then she'd point out why it was a mistake.

spidermom
April 3rd, 2017, 01:11 PM
I have had very little trouble with stylists over my 63+ years, and I used to spontaneously walk into new salons fairly frequently. I guess I'm a good communicator and/or a little scary because I've never had a stylist ignore my wishes completely. Yes, I've had 2 inches trimmed off when I asked for 1, but I go in expecting some variation. Because hairs grow at different rates, taking the same amount off all the ends could result in an uneven haircut. For example, if the right side grows twice as fast as the left side (which it often does), then OF COURSE I will need to have 2 inches trimmed off the right side if I'm having 1 inch trimmed off the left. (see what I mean?) I can't imagine how it happens that somebody goes in asking for 1 inch trimmed off the bottom and walks out having lost 10 inches and with layers. Did the customer fall asleep?

Entangled
April 3rd, 2017, 01:11 PM
Hm. I can only remember four people cutting my hair: My mom, when I was little, the barber, my mom's hairstylist, and myself.

I don't really remember my mom's cuts, but I assume they were fine: just bangs and a blunt cut, 'til I decided to grow my bangs out.

The barbershop was a one time thing: he ended up cutting off a lot more than expected. At the time, I was thrilled (I thought I looked like my mom when she was little, and that made me happy), but it was something like six inches instead of three. Needless to say, we didn't go back there for long hair cuts anymore.

My hairstylist is great: there's great communication, my mom's friends with her, and she cuts off exactly what you ask for. Last time I got it cut, she even snipped a small piece before cutting the rest to make sure I was happy with the length cut off. However, I haven't been to her since I started growing my hair because she does use standard practice hair techniques: hair piled in the sink to wash, combed with a fine tooth comb, and blowdried. I used to love going, but now I cringe, and don't exactly know how to tell her that my standards have changed for haircare. Also, my mom isn't quite on board with my hair and thinks I'm too fussy with it and that it's too long, so I'm nervous to object to how it's washed and combed, and at rejecting getting it blowdried. (I don't mind blowdrying it myself, but I don't use a sharp round brush. I primarily use my fingers only, and use a low temperature.)

The Maple Leaf
April 3rd, 2017, 01:51 PM
I have to ask, those of you who have gotten bad cuts/unwanted advice, what kind of a salon are you going to? Are they high end salons or chain type businesses? I wonder because I've never really had issues with stylists cutting off too much or giving me the wrong cut. I only go to small local places or a chain stores like fantastic sams. I have gotten a couple bad cuts but they seemed more due to inexperienced stylist just doing a bad job.

Seems like the high end salons are more about "style", wanting to give you a fancy, needs upkeep type cut instead of just trimming what they see as unstyled hair.


I've never been disappointed with cheap chain salons. I'm very clear on what I want and am never pressured into anything. Most I've paid is $15+tip. Why go to expensive places? I don't get it.

Here's an impression I get, based on what I've read all over the place. It seems that the fancier a salon, the more likely you are to get someone who sees themselves as an artiste and your head as a canvas to paint on, and who might be more full of the attitude that their opinion about how you should look is at least as important, if not more important, than how you want to look, whereas stylists at cheaper, more generic salons may see it more as a job to get through. For a simple trim, it might therefore be best that people avoid the high-end places. I can't directly endorse places like Great Clips or other chains or salons, not using them myself (reviews I have found for these places on the Interenet are sometimes very positive and sometimes very negative, so there too you should obviously be cautious), but if you want a simple, one-length haircut or a trim, perhaps there's little point in going to a fancy salon.

That being said, I consider it bad form even for a stylist in a fancy salon to try to persuade you to change your hairstyle if you are satisfied with your current style and just want to maintain it (even if you've had the same hairstyle since 1952 or 1962) or to tell you you should cut more off than you want off or push layers on you or whatever, and I wish the salons would adopt policies against their stylists doing so.



The worst experience I ever had was my senior year in high school. My hair grows at a painfully slow rate. It always has. After years of growing, I finally had it down to bra strap length. The guy cutting my hair was supposedly one of the best in the city, and this was shortly before graduation. I should have known something was up when he turned me away from the mirror to start working on me. He cut my length all the way up to a just past chin length bob and told me it was more flattering for my face. I bawled my eyes out. Four different female clients in the salon got up and came over to put their arms around me. Needless to say, I didn't pay him for the cut and I never went back to that salon.

Unbelievable a**hole. If I had been you, I would have tried to have him fired and/or would have sued him, asking the other women in the salon to stand as witnesses.

Hypnotica
April 3rd, 2017, 02:22 PM
I have had exaclty one cut that I wasn't 100% happy with but that was due to me not being clear with exactly what I wanted and I was in a time crunch to boot. Otherwise, I have had great stylists!

Incidently, I went to a new salon today for my early trim and it went really well. It seems that stylists here REALLY like to have me as a customer because they never usually see people with calf length hair :P

lapushka
April 3rd, 2017, 02:34 PM
Did the customer fall asleep?

There's a girl on YT that was recently approached by a hairdresser to shape her natural hair. She had waist length hair. He cut 9 inches off of her hair when she clearly stated in the video "I still want it long". His wife is also a famous YTer and so now there's a bit of a controversy going on how he might have done it on purpose to sabotage her natural hair channel. It's big on YT ATM. IMO, she now has even *more* material to help grow her channel as she could go on a "journey" with her viewers now. She was trying to grow beyond waist length... so it's a sad story. And no she didn't fall asleep. Sometimes these things just happen. Why? Anyone's guess.

moon_witch
April 3rd, 2017, 02:40 PM
I'm sure there are stylist who are great but out of the 4 stylists I've been to in the last 6 years none of them cut my hair the way I wanted it. They all cut too much and one of them left random longer strands? I ended up evening it out myself. I'm not taking the risk anymore so I just cut it myself.

likelikepenny
April 3rd, 2017, 02:46 PM
There's a girl on YT that was recently approached by a hairdresser to shape her natural hair. She had waist length hair. He cut 9 inches off of her hair when she clearly stated in the video "I still want it long". His wife is also a famous YTer and so now there's a bit of a controversy going on how he might have done it on purpose to sabotage her natural hair channel. It's big on YT ATM. IMO, she now has even *more* material to help grow her channel as she could go on a "journey" with her viewers now. She was trying to grow beyond waist length... so it's a sad story. And no she didn't fall asleep. Sometimes these things just happen. Why? Anyone's guess.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItvPKw223JQ&t=1169s

This is why I don't trust anyone but myself with cutting and styling my hair.

lapushka
April 3rd, 2017, 03:21 PM
It was supposed to be a "shape up" and small trim and she ended up with choppy layers, I remember that. So you saw that too eh, likelikepenny? I guess it traveled all over YT.

spidermom
April 3rd, 2017, 03:27 PM
It was supposed to be a "shape up" and small trim and she ended up with choppy layers, I remember that. So you saw that too eh, likelikepenny? I guess it traveled all over YT.

That's just plain rude! OMG!

Kae612
April 3rd, 2017, 03:37 PM
I've had a lot of hair issues, with trichotillomania related hair loss as a tween/teen and thick/poofy "difficult" hair (less so now I'm older, but as a kid it baffled my mom who jokes she has three little hairs). So there were a lot of bad hairdresser experiences, because I had bald patches and people kept wanting me to have triangle poofy hair.

Once I saw a hairdresser that was actually good, we never let her go. She has convinced me to get more trimmed off, to "cut off the dead ends" but does listen well. She gave me a fantastic shoulder length haircut when I brought in several pictures, working with my hairs' texture. She's given me long-hair trims while standing before, but I just found it super unpleasant to have my hair washed by someone else, and then cut while standing so while it's long I haven't been back. I just really hate the feeling of other peoples hands yanking through my hair and the edge of the sink on my neck, water in my ears, etc.

Aredhel
April 3rd, 2017, 04:12 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItvPKw223JQ&t=1169s

This is why I don't trust anyone but myself with cutting and styling my hair.

That's just terrible. Her curls were so long and beautiful. :( The second it showed him snipping off that first long lock of hair, my heart was already breaking for her hair. Sheesh...

hayheadsbird
April 3rd, 2017, 04:25 PM
I couldn't even bear to hear the whole story, feel totally gutted for her :(

Chromis
April 3rd, 2017, 04:55 PM
I have never been to a fancy salon in my life and I still could never get them to listen to me at the cheap places! I just wanted a trim, nothing more. They would want to cut in bangs, layers, feather it, thin it....

I have had multiple times where they just started doing these things without even asking me first. Just went right in with the scissors and hacked away. Bit late when you suddenly have half a forehead of bangs lickity split! Also they would take way too much off at the bottom, holding my hair away from my body so I couldn't feel or see what they were up to.

I've not had it cut in a salon in many years now and have no plans to. I can cut it exactly how I want, when I want, as much/little as I want, and better still, I can pay myself in :cheese:

AutobotsAttack
April 3rd, 2017, 05:01 PM
It just really depends on the situation. Ethnic hair salons are on a whole different level whether the stylist is jealous, or just hard-headed. A while ago maybe a year or so ago, I posted on here about a bad experience I had and this was extremely personal the way the person was attacking me. I am a relaxed long haired. This lady I'm guessing might have been natural I couldn't tell because her hair was straight, and it was colored, reaching possibly lower neck length. She kept saying how relaxing my hair was awful, and that I was going to poison myself by using chemicals, (however she box bleached her hair red? hypocrite much?). Then she said my hair was fluffy and scraggly, and that I needed 6 inches worth of length cut off? The f****? My relaxed hair is very well kept and ive put endless amounts of time, and dollars into this hair journey. I also told her while health is a focus of my hair, I also am trying to retain as much length as possible, and that I trim my own hair, and I just want a wash and set with rollers, for an event. She kept on with this, and I lost it and shouted some curse words that I shouldn't have said, I didn't pay her, nor did I tip her, nor did I let her finish my hair, and left out with a damp head of hair. I didn't care, that was personal and uncalled for. What angered me the most was how that situation wasn't even about hair anymore, it was about her trying to force her lifestyle upon me, and became upset when I politely refused MULTIPLE times.

Couple of weeks later I went to a different salon, the ladies were of European/Dutch descent so they had hair like the vast majority of users on this site. I told her what had happened some weeks ago, and her heart stung for me. I was nervous because I didn't know if she knew how to handle the texture of my hair. BOY I WAS PROVED WRONG. She effortlessly washed my hair, conditioned, and combed it without me hearing a single hair snap. No tugging no pulling, and the roller set was FLAWLESS when she took my hair down and brushed it out. I'm not saying everyone is the same, but sometimes it really comes down to that stylist, and her views on life, and her integrity. Whether black or white, or Hispanic, ill pay top dollar to someone who actively gives two cents about my hair, and doesn't judge. That's one of the main reasons I came to this hair site in the first place. Not to mention, hair in general is more alike than it is different. The main differences arise by how much moisture the hair needs, or how much it doesn't need. And it takes a well versed stylist to put in time and effort to care for pin straight thick hair, to tightly compact coiled, and fine hair.

Even as a child I've noticed, when I was taken to the salon, the character of the stylist gave away whether I was going to enjoy the experience or not. If she looks at you weird, doesn't even smile, has a heavy hand, is rushing, doesn't want to be there, etc...It makes everything difficult. They don't listen, they may be jealous, etc. Most people who enjoy their craft invite folks from all walks of life to relax, sit back, and enjoy their hard work being pampered and primped.

pastina
April 3rd, 2017, 05:15 PM
I'm one that lost a TON of length. I'd been avoiding salons because I lost a few inches more than I'd wanted to lose in a previous "trim", but I wanted to go from TBL to hip, and I thought someone else would have better luck doing that evenly.

I didn't fall asleep, lol. I was super clear with the stylist. I showed her exactly how long I wanted it. She brushed it all back and cut it behind me. I couldn't see or feel what she was doing. When she finished, she flipped it back over my shoulders and I GASPED. I told her that it was short! She goes, "I know, right?" ...And I'm like, "No, this is significantly shorter than I'd asked for," and she said, "Yeah, sorry!"

When I got home, I had to trim it even more, because hair on one side of my head was two inches longer than the other. All said and done, I was at BSL. I couldn't use my hair sticks. :(

(And this was at JC Penney, not some fancy place where the person was thinking they were doing me a favor by turning me into art.)

Eta--- Although..... I was suspicious it was a jealousy thing. Her hair was brightly colored and she was going on and on about how hers would never grow past her chin.

likelikepenny
April 3rd, 2017, 05:36 PM
It was supposed to be a "shape up" and small trim and she ended up with choppy layers, I remember that. So you saw that too eh, likelikepenny? I guess it traveled all over YT.

I've been following her hair journey off and on for a year or two now. This video really broke my heart. I almost cried when I saw this video for the first time. As a curly, every inch is precious because it easily get's eaten up by shrinkage and it takes a lot of patience.

Kirby-oh
April 3rd, 2017, 05:47 PM
I've had a good experience at my barbershop of choice. She does exactly what I ask, comes out great. And I can get a beard trim.

I was put at ease the first time I went in, when I figured I needed about an inch and a half off of the longest parts because it was uneven by about an inch from growing out from short. Sure enough when I went in and said I was trying to grow it out but it needs trimming up, she showed how much she wanted to cut and said, it'll be about an inch and a half off the longest part, it'll be about here *marks an actual inch and half* Wonderful :)

AspenSong
April 3rd, 2017, 06:30 PM
I've been to mid range priced salons and cheaper ones, and out of all of them I've only gotten what I asked a handful of times. I have always been very precise on what I've wanted. My mothers best friend when I was a child was a hairdresser and being exact and clear on what you wanted was always droned into me. I have asked for an inch and gotten 6" off, I've asked for a trim on my ends and ended up with layers in my hair that went clear up by my ears. I have marked on a shirt where I wanted it cut to, to avoid misunderstanding and still got 3" over that cut off. I'm not really sure what the deal is. I gave up trying to figure it out and started just cutting my own hair. I don't know if it's been inexperience, them forgetting or getting distracted...*shrug* Now, that being said, I really don't believe all stylists are bad at all! I've had a couple great ones who would actually cut LESS than I wanted because it was easy to take off and impossible to put back.
My biggest fight with them was always them trying to talk me into layers or just cutting them without my permission and then being told it would look better and I'd love it, like that changed things.
I've always wondered or had my own theory that a *lot* of (not all) people who cut hair, are looking at your hair as a new and blank canvas and they want to create what they want with it. Or they see you and get an idea what they think will look good and come heck or high water, they're going to try to create that. In the end, when I've complained or talked to managers - nothing has happened. They've always sided with the stylist or told me the problem was it was "their word against mine and there must have been a miscommunication because they'd never do whatever on purpose", etc...so I really started to believe that they didn't ever get in that much trouble for it, so they figured they could just carry on doing whatever and what's the worst that'll happen? One person doesn't come back?

Chant
April 3rd, 2017, 10:06 PM
Unbelievable a**hole. If I had been you, I would have tried to have him fired and/or would have sued him, asking the other women in the salon to stand as witnesses.

Unfortunately, he was the salon owner. Believe me, had there been anyone above him, once I stopped ugly crying, I would have been out for blood.

kitana97
April 6th, 2017, 06:52 PM
I used to see the same guy for years. He loved my long hair and would recommend a smaller trim than I would ask for. He was really honest and upfront about my hair and did exactly what I asked for. But he was wayyy to expensive so now my boyfriend cuts it for me :)

The Maple Leaf
April 7th, 2017, 01:01 AM
I've been to mid range priced salons and cheaper ones, and out of all of them I've only gotten what I asked a handful of times. I have always been very precise on what I've wanted. My mothers best friend when I was a child was a hairdresser and being exact and clear on what you wanted was always droned into me. I have asked for an inch and gotten 6" off, I've asked for a trim on my ends and ended up with layers in my hair that went clear up by my ears. I have marked on a shirt where I wanted it cut to, to avoid misunderstanding and still got 3" over that cut off. I'm not really sure what the deal is. I gave up trying to figure it out and started just cutting my own hair. I don't know if it's been inexperience, them forgetting or getting distracted...*shrug* Now, that being said, I really don't believe all stylists are bad at all! I've had a couple great ones who would actually cut LESS than I wanted because it was easy to take off and impossible to put back.
My biggest fight with them was always them trying to talk me into layers or just cutting them without my permission and then being told it would look better and I'd love it, like that changed things.
I've always wondered or had my own theory that a *lot* of (not all) people who cut hair, are looking at your hair as a new and blank canvas and they want to create what they want with it. Or they see you and get an idea what they think will look good and come heck or high water, they're going to try to create that. In the end, when I've complained or talked to managers - nothing has happened. They've always sided with the stylist or told me the problem was it was "their word against mine and there must have been a miscommunication because they'd never do whatever on purpose", etc...so I really started to believe that they didn't ever get in that much trouble for it, so they figured they could just carry on doing whatever and what's the worst that'll happen? One person doesn't come back?

Dang, you've had some serious bad luck with hairdressers. It seems difficult to imagine such a high frequency of incompetents-***-control freaks-*** unprofessional morons who couldn't care less what the customers want (it's hard to describe it otherwise) I'm at a loss to explain it.

I get the impression that layers are the big 80s hair of the 00s. The obsession with them among stylists in the last decade seems to be pretty symptomatic of this "I know better than the customer" attitude. OK, if a customer is interested in being trendy and trying out the latest syles, but not everyone wants to look like a fashion plate, it's not a stylist's job to micromanage their client's style choices and bring them all in line with the current trends. If the customer is satisfied with their current appearance, who are you to imply that their appearance is not good enough and that you know better than them what their hair should look like?

Also, this confusion about what is an inch and what is 2 or 3 or more inches is incomprehensible to me. If you didn't learn that in, like the third grade, supposedly you need to learn it in barber/beauty school if you're going to be a stylist. I think a lot of people have their own perception of what an inch is. It's actually not that much, just a very, very little wider than the diameter of a quarter. If you're going to be doing a job involving measurements, you need to learn to measure! Jeez.

lapushka
April 7th, 2017, 03:58 AM
I have never been to a fancy salon in my life and I still could never get them to listen to me at the cheap places! I just wanted a trim, nothing more. They would want to cut in bangs, layers, feather it, thin it....

I have had multiple times where they just started doing these things without even asking me first. Just went right in with the scissors and hacked away. Bit late when you suddenly have half a forehead of bangs lickity split! Also they would take way too much off at the bottom, holding my hair away from my body so I couldn't feel or see what they were up to.

I've not had it cut in a salon in many years now and have no plans to. I can cut it exactly how I want, when I want, as much/little as I want, and better still, I can pay myself in :cheese:

That's it! You have no control over it once you let it into their hands. And when they see long hair, you can often see it in their eyes, it's like they can really go to town on that and do what they like, like a blank canvas.

Which is why I love to be able to have techniques to cut the hair at home! I don't want any more disasters. I didn't have a lot, but one big one and a few tiny ones - they count too.

And it's hard at first, maybe, because you might feel that you're not doing a "sufficient" job on it. But trust me, you are, if you follow the rules of the techniques (like Feye's, compact cutting, spidermom's technique and so many YT vids). And freshly cut is freshly cut, whether you do it or a stylist does it. As long as you have good shears - all A-OK!

EliseMarie
April 7th, 2017, 05:03 AM
Also, this confusion about what is an inch and what is 2 or 3 or more inches is incomprehensible to me. If you didn't learn that in, like the third grade, supposedly you need to learn it in barber/beauty school if you're going to be a stylist. I think a lot of people have their own perception of what an inch is. It's actually not that much, just a very, very little wider than the diameter of a quarter. If you're going to be doing a job involving measurements, you need to learn to measure! Jeez.

LOL. Also, most stylists combs have inches right on them! Makes it simple to show how much an inch, two inches, etc......that way the client and the stylist can see and discuss so there is no confusion or guessing! I have never understood how these disasters can happen.

Aredhel
April 7th, 2017, 09:03 AM
Also, this confusion about what is an inch and what is 2 or 3 or more inches is incomprehensible to me. If you didn't learn that in, like the third grade, supposedly you need to learn it in barber/beauty school if you're going to be a stylist. I think a lot of people have their own perception of what an inch is. It's actually not that much, just a very, very little wider than the diameter of a quarter. If you're going to be doing a job involving measurements, you need to learn to measure! Jeez.

LOL. Also, most stylists combs have inches right on them! Makes it simple to show how much an inch, two inches, etc......that way the client and the stylist can see and discuss so there is no confusion or guessing! I have never understood how these disasters can happen.
I honestly think that where hair salons are concerned, "inches" are subjective. :lol:

Silverbleed
April 7th, 2017, 10:24 AM
I honestly think that where hair salons are concerned, "inches" are subjective. :lol:

But what I don't understand if they're so crap at it, why don't they use a measure tape?

Tosca
April 7th, 2017, 10:32 AM
But what I don't understand if they're so crap at it, why don't they use a measure tape?

Sheer pig-headedness. They don't actually care what you want because they think they know better. (The bad hairdressers, I mean)

ETA: I wonder what they would think if a waitress gave them a salad when they ordered a burger and then justified it by saying "I thought you'd be happy, salads are so much healthier for you".

Aredhel
April 7th, 2017, 10:43 AM
That's exactly it. I think the ones that do this are generally arrogant and truly believe that what they perceive is better for their client's hair trumps what the client actually wants for their hair. I had one who cut my TBL hair (see my sig....) to MBL because she thought my fairytale ends were "damaged" when they weren't. I rarely ever got splits so I never trimmed, because I wasn't worried about an even hem. She just figured my ends looked damaged because they were thin. :rolleyes:

CrowningGlory
April 7th, 2017, 01:39 PM
Did the customer fall asleep?

I had a stylist lift up my hair in one hand and say, "You don't need these ends" as she cut 10" off and I sat there in shock at what had just happened. There was no time to stop her or say anything. The rest of the appointment I sat there trying not to cry and telling myself that hair grows.

I now know which stylist to ask for and she never cuts off more length than I ask for (often less). But a few times she has botched my fringe/bangs (the latest a week ago). I love fresh cut ends from a salon but I don't know what to do about the fringe. Grow it out, maybe? Or get someone else to cut it? Or get better at doing it myself and tell her not to cut it?

lapushka
April 7th, 2017, 02:10 PM
I had a stylist lift up my hair in one hand and say, "You don't need these ends" as she cut 10" off and I sat there in shock at what had just happened. There was no time to stop her or say anything. The rest of the appointment I sat there trying not to cry and telling myself that hair grows.

I now know which stylist to ask for and she never cuts off more length than I ask for (often less). But a few times she has botched my fringe/bangs (the latest a week ago). I love fresh cut ends from a salon but I don't know what to do about the fringe. Grow it out, maybe? Or get someone else to cut it? Or get better at doing it myself and tell her not to cut it?

Maybe check out some YT tutorials on cutting bangs - lots of them. Until you find one that you like and that you can do. And for the rest there's always Feye's self-trimming method, spidermom's method, or the compact cutting method for layers.

pili
April 7th, 2017, 02:14 PM
I had a stylist lift up my hair in one hand and say, "You don't need these ends" as she cut 10" off and I sat there in shock at what had just happened. There was no time to stop her or say anything. The rest of the appointment I sat there trying not to cry and telling myself that hair grows.

I now know which stylist to ask for and she never cuts off more length than I ask for (often less). But a few times she has botched my fringe/bangs (the latest a week ago). I love fresh cut ends from a salon but I don't know what to do about the fringe. Grow it out, maybe? Or get someone else to cut it? Or get better at doing it myself and tell her not to cut it?
That's horrifying.

Chant
April 7th, 2017, 02:49 PM
I had a stylist lift up my hair in one hand and say, "You don't need these ends" as she cut 10" off and I sat there in shock at what had just happened. There was no time to stop her or say anything. The rest of the appointment I sat there trying not to cry and telling myself that hair grows.

I now know which stylist to ask for and she never cuts off more length than I ask for (often less). But a few times she has botched my fringe/bangs (the latest a week ago). I love fresh cut ends from a salon but I don't know what to do about the fringe. Grow it out, maybe? Or get someone else to cut it? Or get better at doing it myself and tell her not to cut it?

Exactly this. When most of them do it, they do it so quickly, there's no time to react. Or they turn you away from the mirror, lift your hair, and start making drastic cuts behind your back. I don't think most people just sit there and smile politely while their hair is butchered against their will. Also, until it happens to you by one of these arrogant jackwagons, I don't think a lot of us think a hairdresser would go so thoroughly off the rails from what we asked for. Now, I never let one turn me away from the mirror until I have strongly emphasized I don't want to lose any more length than I've asked for, and I have walked out of haircuts without paying if they really botched the job. I'm sorry you experienced that. It's so unbelievably disrespectful.

Fringe can be tricky. If she frequently botches the job and you really don't feel comfortable doing it yourself, maybe you should find someone else just to do that part?

AspenSong
April 7th, 2017, 03:19 PM
Dang, you've had some serious bad luck with hairdressers. It seems difficult to imagine such a high frequency of incompetents-***-control freaks-*** unprofessional morons who couldn't care less what the customers want (it's hard to describe it otherwise) I'm at a loss to explain it.

I get the impression that layers are the big 80s hair of the 00s. The obsession with them among stylists in the last decade seems to be pretty symptomatic of this "I know better than the customer" attitude. OK, if a customer is interested in being trendy and trying out the latest syles, but not everyone wants to look like a fashion plate, it's not a stylist's job to micromanage their client's style choices and bring them all in line with the current trends. If the customer is satisfied with their current appearance, who are you to imply that their appearance is not good enough and that you know better than them what their hair should look like?

Also, this confusion about what is an inch and what is 2 or 3 or more inches is incomprehensible to me. If you didn't learn that in, like the third grade, supposedly you need to learn it in barber/beauty school if you're going to be a stylist. I think a lot of people have their own perception of what an inch is. It's actually not that much, just a very, very little wider than the diameter of a quarter. If you're going to be doing a job involving measurements, you need to learn to measure! Jeez.

Honestly, I could have had it much worse. The biggest frustration to me was the layers thing over and over again. I have been told my entire life that since I have fine and thin hair, I NEED layers to have body or make it look like I "have hair". Layers are probably more fun to cut also. haha. My hair with layers, looks wretched if it's not styled to the nth degree...and I never could make myself put that much work into my hair daily, sooooooo. Limp, pathetic hair!

I believe that at least 50% of the time, there's no real confusion over not knowing what 3 inches, etc is. Like someone said, most of those combs are marked with length. They just do what they want, or don't pay attention.

Reyesuela
April 7th, 2017, 08:45 PM
Happened to a Glamour editor! http://www.glamour.com/story/hair-extensions-how-to-fix-a-b?intcid=inline_amp

lapushka
April 8th, 2017, 05:21 AM
Happened to a Glamour editor! http://www.glamour.com/story/hair-extensions-how-to-fix-a-b?intcid=inline_amp

I've read the article. Her answer was to get extensions?! And a hairstylist who keeps on insisting to want to cut hair is a major red flag in my book, but I guess now she'll have realized that too. :(

Reyesuela
April 8th, 2017, 09:18 AM
If she wants it, then that's her thing.

BrightEyes
April 16th, 2017, 04:23 PM
I'm one of the few hairstylists in the LHC, and it always saddens me to hear these stories. I know there are stylists out there who don't listen and try to impose their desires or opinions on their clients. As someone who struggles growing, I completely understand the time and effort it takes to grow hair. When I have a client, they usually ask me how much I think they need cut off. I am honest with them. If I think 2 inches needs cut, I will tell them 2 inches. But I never just start cutting. I always give them more options (like taking off less, but encouraging them to trim more often if they haven't had a cut in a year). Or I'll recommend DTs if their ends feel dry. I try to help them think of a plan that would be in the best interest of their hair goals and needs. I can honestly say I don't enjoy upsetting my clients by giving them something different than what they want. What good would that do either of us?

I have always felt that communication is key, and it goes both ways. I appreciate it when a client tells me exactly what they want, and then I always repeat it to be sure. I also show them what a true inch is. Often people are surprised by what an inch of hair looks like.

There have been *many* times when a client will say to me "you are the professional, do what you feel is best". Whenever someone says that, I reply by asking more questions to find out what they want or currently dislike about their hair. I want my clients to be happy. So I continue to ask questions before I ever pick up my shears, until we are on the same page. I will admit that being an LHCer has probably enfluenced my responses to clients.

At the end of the day, I want the people who sit in my chair to leave happy.