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View Full Version : Scattered thoughts on growing hair



Fia
March 22nd, 2017, 12:19 PM
#1 I grow for me, no one else. Thus, it is my enjoyment of the hair that counts, whether you think it is boring that I always keep it up in an updo is not of my concern.

#2 Seeking to find what my own ultimate length is it is in my own interest to start thinking and acting like an ultra-longhair already from the start. It is never too early to begin taking good care of my hair. And it is never too early to learn from those that have made the journey before me.

#3 My non-routine and benign neglect may look strange to the un-initiated outsider. "Why grow if you can never show it" and "Wouldn't it be better to have it cut short if it is in an updo most of the time". To that I refer to #1, I grow for me, not for the outside world, you may have your opinion, that doesn't sway my own conviction of what I want to do.

#4 My hair is mine to adorn in any way I find possible and appropriate; whether that is a plain and inconspicuous bun held with hairpins or decorated with hairsticks, blinged out forks and ribbons of colourful yarn. Again, #1, I do not grow for you and your appreciation, I grow for myself.

#5 Seeking to find my own ultimate length does not make me in any way, shape or form better than a fellow grower with other goals. Just as I ask her understanding of my sometimes boring ways (because the way of an ultra-longhair is by necessity slightly boring); I must offer my own understanding that she may want to play with colour or texture or other ways that are incompatible with my own goal.

#6 Accept and you shall be accepted; judge not and you shall not be judged; practice understanding and compassion with your fellow growers and you will be met with understanding and compassion in turn.

#7 Our goals all differ, none is better than the other, do not for a minute think your own is mentally or morally superior to that of another grower; affirming this gives you your own space to grow, both physically and metaphysically, while giving the same in return to your fellow on this journey.

Rebel Rebel
March 22nd, 2017, 02:25 PM
Wonderful thoughts and a good reminder that everyone is in a different stage or path with their hair.
I've noticed this being my mind set recently--- "start thinking and acting like an ultra-longhair already from the start." My hair is only BSL, extra fine/thin and has some remaining damaging. It's not nearly as beautiful as I wish it were but I feel more confident with my hair knowing I'm doing what I can to ensure it's future health. I no longer feel the need to always have it styled for fashion sake and quitting the flat iron a few years ago has been a massive success for me. Getting out of the cycle of ironing just to smooth out damage has paid off finally. So happy to be free of it!!! I've grown comfortable wearing a simple side braid and that's a big deal for me and my thin hair.

Ophidian
March 22nd, 2017, 08:06 PM
Fia, I enjoy reading your philosophical ponderings very much :flower:

All of these really speak to me, especially the idea of growing for your own enjoyment. For me this is often more about the process and the way I feel taking care of it than the way that it looks--for example, I wear it up in pretty plain styles the majority of the time but even though it might look unremarkable day to day I know how healthy it is and how (comparatively) long its getting, and it makes me a quiet kind of happy.

pandabarrier
March 27th, 2017, 07:24 PM
If I ever get frustrated in my hair journey, I'll re-read your post to get into a calmer mind state.