Give up trying to grow longer?

[grinlord]

Hair is of course an ongoing journey. I feel like I'm always learning new ways to care for my hair. About a year ago I realised that whichever hairdresser I went to, and however small amounts they cut off, I wasn't growing more than they were cutting. So I boycotted the hairdresser! What seems to be happening, is that a much thinner (and blonder) layer of my hair is growing longer, whilst the thick bulk of it is staying the same.

The good news is that a few months ago, I learnt to not ever use a brush, and I just use a wide comb and fingers before bed, then part my hair and tie it into two low ponytails in front of me for sleeping. I then wake up, take it out, and it's obedient and non-frizzy! I have also discovered that I can use my Redken conditioner as a leave in conditioner. I still use argan oil, mainly on the dry ends, and have probably extended my washing cycle to 6-7 days.

2.5 years ago, it looked like this: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=126334

Now it looks like this:

https://s4.postimg.org/n7wo9wsu1/P3150004.jpg (https://postimg.org/image/n7wo9wsu1/) https://s4.postimg.org/n96m3bunt/P3150006.jpg (https://postimg.org/image/n96m3bunt/)

It's not much longer, but much shinier and less frizzy.

I'm just not sure it looks neat enough to keep persevering with the length. Have I reached my terminal length? Should I give in, and get it trimmed to make it neater instead of attempting to grow it?

[MidnightMoon]

I don't think you've reached terminal, seems unlikely, and you hair doesn't look that thin to me.
I don't think ponytails are a good method to contain your hair while sleeping, though, it may cause your hair to break where you wear it, I'd rather go with a braid.
Judging by your pic from years ago, I'd say it has grown and looks in better condition.
Of course, I know brushed hair will more likely look less shiny on us wavy or curly haired people, but I'd still say it looks healthier now.
Have you tried making changes in your routine aside from no brushing, say, using different products, eating better, wearing it up? Wearing hair down isn't very good for hair, specially when out of the house.

[grinlord]

Thanks for the quick reply!

I should have mentioned that I tie it very loosely for bed. I did try two braids but got bored of doing that every night, and the results seemed to be the same. Certainly better than lying on it and causing a mess that way.

No my hair isn't at all thin, except the last 3-4 inches of new growth. I wonder if the thick section has grown at all.

I eat very healthily, even more so than in the previous pictures.

My hair is usually tied back in a low ponytail for work and being outside, and usually down at home or socialising. I sometimes bun it.

[Simsy]

Just comparing the before and after shots, your hair is looking fantastic. Calmer, shiner, happier...personally I would call that a fairly significant win right there.

With regards to the length, a couple of things that jump out to me. You mentioned you ponytail at night. While this would help keep things controlled (this used to be my go-to method), ponytails do eventually start to break, simply because damage accumulates over time. Changing the hairstyle occasionally, or at least the position of the hair ties may help.

You are also about at the length where most people seem to stall. There are heaps of reasons why, the big one would be friction on the ends from wearing it loose or in a ponytail. Other reasons include breakage from a particular hairstyle; damage from car doors, bag handles, ect; and simple wear and tear. Fixes include putting hair up whenever possible; changing hairstyles fairly regularly to prevent too much damage accumulating and learning to keep it out of harm's way. This may not apply to your situation but it is definitely worth considering.

The other thing that occurred to me is that you are right in the spine area for length. When I was growing from BSL to hip, I could not see growth happening. It just seemed to stall for months at a time until I would hop into the shower and realise I had hit another milestone (hip was a bit of shock, to say the least). BSL to Waist feels like it takes forever and then suddenly, you are there and you're not sure when you arrived.

It is possible that the last of the old damage is finally shedding out and the new layer is the new, healthy, happy hair that you have spent so much time tending. Keep up the effort and you will reap the benefits. If the ends are really bothering you, micro-trimming is a good way to allow the new strands to catch-up and will eventually pay off with a thicker hemline.

Good luck.

[MidnightMoon]

You're welcome. I didn't even notice at what time you posted lol, as the site seems to be asleep for a good portion of the day while Americans are still sleeping and those too in Europe are working :p

Why don't you try one single braid? I get tired of doing two braids, but one takes less than half the time (cause using larger portions means less braiding as well).

Aside from what I've mentioned I can't think of anything else :/
For what it's worth, I think it looks very pretty, and I love the colour.
I wouldn't trim, honestly, because if you truly were close to terminal, then it would probably end up looking again like this in a couple of months or year. If the "fairytale" ends bother you, you could trim... though wavy hair doesn't seem to have a very defined hemline anyways unless straightened, so it would be just to make it look a bit bulkier.

[lapushka]

I'd maybe try looking at the microtrimming thread on here. Each month, or every couple of months you cut off a tiny amount that equals half your growth, this way you'll still be growing but the hemline will "thicken up" - if that's what you want. If not, just keep growing! :)

[Moonfall]

Grinlord, I have the exact same issue. In fact, I've been having it ever since I can remember. I also got stuck at BSL back when I used to visit a salon every few months. No matter who did it or how many times I asked them to please not take off more than what was absolutely necessary. Always back to BSL. So that's why I quit visiting salons five years ago, and why I have been microtrimming ever since. And ever since that time, I'm stuck with this thinning hemline. A few months ago, I realized I had reached waist... But it feels like only a few hairs have made it haha! I find it so frustrating because I dream of having a thick and straight hemline, at least at waist but preferably longer. I'm starting to think it'll always stay that - a dream, nothing more. :(

Here is a recent picture of my hair. Never mind the January and March thing, it was for a growth project.
https://s10.postimg.org/76pu1di55/Fotor_Created2.jpg

[emptyque]

Your second pic wasn't working for me, but male terminal length is often quite a bit shorter than female terminal length. I'm not really sure what factors control that. If your growth has significantly slowed, it might make more sense to focus on general hair health and appearance rather than increasing length for the time being. Who knows, maybe it will start growing again later.

Good luck! Your hair looks great in your avatar.

[draysmir]

Do you have breakage on your ends? My hair is prone to breakage and the last time I tried to grow it out, I had a lot of breakage and my hair felt like it stopped growing for about a year (at a bit longer than the length you have now). Especially since I had fairytale ends, whatever growth I had would just break off and my hair would not get any longer. This time around, my hair is same length again but without thinning ends and with continued growth (I do have some damage again, but it's much less and I'm hoping to be trimming it out throughout this year). I think the better condition of my hair definitely had to do with me trimming it more this time around, since the last time I grew it out I basically refused to get trims lol. While it seems like you care for your hair well, enough breakage can make it look and feel like you've reached your terminal length when you maybe haven't. I don't have much good advice about how to grow your hair longer from where you are, but if I were you I would probably, like other people have mentioned, start microtrimming and maybe just try to maintain your length for a few months, and see if your hemline is a bit thicker after, and also see if the thick part of your hair has started to creep down your hemline or not. :) good luck!

[truepeacenik]

Your second pic wasn't working for me, but male terminal length is often quite a bit shorter than female terminal length. I'm not really sure what factors control that. If your growth has significantly slowed, it might make more sense to focus on general hair health and appearance rather than increasing length for the time being. Who knows, maybe it will start growing again later.

Good luck! Your hair looks great in your avatar.

Any sources on the male v female terminal length? Aside from testosterone affected thinning?

Grinlord, I see a considerable improvement in quality.
Lapushka mentioned micro trimming, and I've done it some to let ragged looking lengths appear tidy. Usually for a few months.
It's a solid suggestion.
Typically, I just bun for a few months and look at the quality then.
Might think about a topknot bun for sleeping, just to change up where the pressure is each night.
And a slippery fabric on your pillow.

[grinlord]

Thank you for all the replies and encouragement everyone. I have hardly any split ends, which I think is quite remarkable compared to how it used to be, so I must be caring for it well. I shall try micro-trimming. I do sometimes S&D. I wish I had known how to care for my hair years ago when I first started growing it. I might have achieved more length by now. Still, my older relatives seem to have good hair genes, with no signs of male pattern baldness thank goodness!

I'm slightly frustrated that I have a few male friends with much longer hair, who never seem to need to spend much effort on it, and also some female friends who have perfect hair, but don't grow it very long. A wasted gift I say!

Moonfall it was really reassuring to see your hair in a similar situation. Patience is key it seems!

[Anje]

It's entirely possible that you've needed to grow new hair that has been treated well from the beginning, in order to gain length. If so, that hair should be something on the order of 16 inches long, give or take, and it's not the longest hair yet. That's OK, long hair is a long-haul sort of thing.

My major suggestion is to make more of a habit of wearing it up, or even just braided rather than ponytailed. Oh, and don't lean on it when you sit down. That little bit of extra protection can make a substantial difference in how much wear the longer parts get, from about shoulderblade down. That in turn will reduce how it thins out below that point and should help you gain some more length.

[Moonfall]

Grinlord, as someone who is in a very similar situation, I'd advise you not to S&D too much. You can S&D some, but if you're like me and get kind of obsessed over it, it's better to watch out. I sometimes wonder if my thinner ends have been caused by S&Ding too much. I let my partner hide my scissors a few weeks ago hehe! Also, it might be a bit of a personal question, but do you take any medications that could cause hair thinning? I do, so I've also been wondering if that could be the culprit. My sister takes a similar medication, though, and she has waist-length hair with a thick hemline (although I've been using this medication for a much longer time and in a higher dose). Just something to consider!

[grinlord]

Grinlord, as someone who is in a very similar situation, I'd advise you not to S&D too much. You can S&D some, but if you're like me and get kind of obsessed over it, it's better to watch out. I sometimes wonder if my thinner ends have been caused by S&Ding too much. I let my partner hide my scissors a few weeks ago hehe! Also, it might be a bit of a personal question, but do you take any medications that could cause hair thinning? I do, so I've also been wondering if that could be the culprit. My sister takes a similar medication, though, and she has waist-length hair with a thick hemline (although I've been using this medication for a much longer time and in a higher dose). Just something to consider!

Fortunately I have none of those issues! I've only bothered a few times with S&D, and it doesn't worry me because I don't seem to have many splits now.

I just hope I can happily report back in 6 / 12 months with new lovely growth!

[Moonfall]

I hope so too! You could also join one of the growth threads so you can compare your growth each time :)

[emptyque]

Any sources on the male v female terminal length? Aside from testosterone affected thinning?


Took me a while to find a good source: http://www.sitri.it/Il_controllo_del_ciclo/The%20Hair%20Cycle.html

Sex hormones seem to affect the length of the hair cycle.

[Alissalocks]

Forgive me if I'm mentioning the obvious, but I would add to be sure you aren't leaning on your hair, ever. I had a false terminal at that same length for years, and was oblivious to the damage I was causing by leaning on it habitually in that area of my body.

[starfire]

Your hair is longer and looks sleeker and happier. I don't see any reason to give up.
If the ends bother you, trim a little to tidy them up, then keep growing. If they don't bother you, leave them be and keep growing!

[sapphire-o]

My hair has the same issues. It starts out quite thick and tapers down to nothing. I keep it at waist, but know the hemline would look nicer if I trim back to BSL. Terminal length is determined by genetics and age. Unfortunately for most people the hair keeps shrinking as they get older. When I started 10 years ago I grew it to tailbone, now it would only grow a bit past waist. My hair is very strong and takes almost no damage. It just fall out at a rather short length.

I'm not saying that your hair won't grow any more, just that terminal length is a reality for many people. My husband has been growing for 10 years, too and never reached waist length.

[spidermom]

Seconding some of the suggestions:
1) Don't ponytail - it causes hair to break off, especially if you're one of those people who tightens the ponytail by splitting it in the middle and pulling apart so that the hair tie rolls up the hair toward the head. The friction of that causes the cuticle of the hair to get roughed up, and eventually it breaks at that spot.
2) Try a top of head bun or simply putting hair over the top of the pillow for sleep. Otherwise, braiding is better than ponytailing.
3) Get a slippery-feeling pillowcase. Mine is polyester in a satin weave.
4) Tiny trims on a regular basis to hold the fastest-growing hairs back a bit so that slower-growing hairs can catch up.

sapphire-o is right. Sometimes our hair-growing genes don't match our aspirations and we have to settle for a shorter length than we want.

[grinlord]

I definitely don't do that tightening thing with a ponytail, and I'm only using soft and quite loose hair bands.

All the other tips make sense though.

[Chromis]

Even with soft bands, ponytailing gave me a ton of damage. Looking from then to now, it looks like your thickness is travelling down nicely, the ends are just weathered from pre-LHC times. I had the same thing happen myself. I didn't use heat or bleach or dyes, I just handled it too roughly and it grew out similarly. I landed up doing small trims until it got long enough for me to just trim off the last of the damage in one go and still put it up. When I stopped wearing it in a pony I could actually see the line of demarcation at my nape as it travelled down! I grew a lot faster after that, I think because those old weathered ends were breaking off anyhow.

The other thing I can think of is that you have reached evil chair of doom length. That is right about where the hair is rubbing against an office chair a lot. Some people like to cover their chairback in a silky pillowcase, I prefer to just wear my hair up. Chair material is surprisingly abrasive on hair.