Doesn't it just annoy you when...

[chantiny]

I am so frustrated that every time I let my hair get past shoulder length, my close friends and family comment on how long my hair is getting. Yes, it is a compliment, but the way they say it is "oh its getting SO LONG now..." like it is getting longer than it should. And I am only to BSL, and to me, that is medium length. Long is waist. SO LONG would be TB or classic, which are my real goals. So what will they say once I do hit classic? Sorry, I know that I'm very new to the board but one of the reasons I joined is because I need to vent to some people who understand :rolleyes:

How does everyone here handle the unsaid pressure from friends/family that my hair is so much longer than the norm, when it isn't... not really.

[Islandgrrl]

Seriously, I ignore it.

If anything, it just affirms my decision to never have a major haircut again, ever.

I've gotten to the point in my life where I just politely thank whichever family member or friend happens to have made the comment and then change the subject.

[Gumball]

I'm with Islandgrrl. I just brush off the comments, too. If someone says that my hair is getting long I just say thanks and that's the end of that unless they keep it up in a Gumball-positive kind of way. Then I enjoy the inflation of happiness I receive. If it's negative then I'm not letting it sour my mood.

[arylkin]

I am so frustrated that every time I let my hair get past shoulder length, my close friends and family comment on how long my hair is getting. Yes, it is a compliment, but the way they say it is "oh its getting SO LONG now..." like it is getting longer than it should. And I am only to BSL, and to me, that is medium length. Long is waist. SO LONG would be TB or classic, which are my real goals. So what will they say once I do hit classic? Sorry, I know that I'm very new to the board but one of the reasons I joined is because I need to vent to some people who understand :rolleyes:

How does everyone here handle the unsaid pressure from friends/family that my hair is so much longer than the norm, when it isn't... not really.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean... I just kind of brush it off too- when people say "it's getting SO long" I just agree.

It's different when it's a compliment- my husband just said to me, "Your hair is getting so long- it's so pretty!" :D

[snowbear]

If someone says it's long my response is "it's getting there!"

[ladyshannonanne]

A lot of people with shorter, styled hair think that everyone should have really styled hair--which is, of course, ridiculous. I wouldn't worry about the comments. Honestly, they probably are compliments.

[blue_nant]

If it's loose, swoosh it at them!

and say "Yeahhhhhh! Look at it, it's getting so LONG!"

Either you have a snappy comeback for them, or you ignore them. It's not their life, it's not their hair. Be a duck to their water.

Snappy comebacks are fun, almost more fun to think about than to say. You can just smile and think inside your head "Yes, and yours is so overly styled it looks dead!"

But I'm mean, heh

[Speedbump]

How does everyone here handle the unsaid pressure from friends/family that my hair is so much longer than the norm, when it isn't... not really.
Yeah, actually it is. :lol: It's certainly not "really long" for here, but we are our own little corner of the hair universe and our standards are not the outside world's. :silly:

As for the pressure, I know it can be difficult. The few times anyone in my personal life has had less than positive reviews for my hair -- almost exclusively one of my aunts -- it has been difficult. But as you become more confident in being a longhair, that stuff starts to mean far less to you. The last time my aunt said something to me, it barely registered, because it just meant so little to me. Trust in yourself that you are doing the correct thing for you, and when you doubt, come here and get affirmation that you are in fact still doing what is correct for you. And if you want the LHC Posse to figuratively whip anti-longhair butt, we are good for talkin' smack, too. :twisted: :lol:

Good luck in the growing journey and don't let others get you down. You know what is best for your happiness. Follow it. :)

[Citrine]

Yep, that happens to me too. Normally I just say "thank you", but with friends and family I say that it could stand to be much longer :inlove:

[Carolyn]

If someone says it's long my response is "it's getting there!":D I've said the same thing a couple of times and gotten a look of WTF? I then just smile and look pleased.

[sneakybea]

I usually just say "thank you." If they meant it as a criticism, they would then be put in the awkward position of correcting you, and I can't imagine anyone would be so rude.

[manderly]

Unfortunaltely, this is the only "compliment" I've really received on my hair "Wow, your hair got long!" ;)

[Arctic]

Ha ha, I actually like it when people notice my hair has grown :D I only get comments from close friends and family who know I'm growing my hair, and I'm a slow grower, so it feels nice that they remember and notice :)

[mortiziia]

I am so frustrated that every time I let my hair get past shoulder length, my close friends and family comment on how long my hair is getting. Yes, it is a compliment, but the way they say it is "oh its getting SO LONG now..." like it is getting longer than it should. And I am only to BSL, and to me, that is medium length. Long is waist. SO LONG would be TB or classic, which are my real goals. So what will they say once I do hit classic? Sorry, I know that I'm very new to the board but one of the reasons I joined is because I need to vent to some people who understand :rolleyes:

How does everyone here handle the unsaid pressure from friends/family that my hair is so much longer than the norm, when it isn't... not really.

What really bothers me is not what they say ("it's getting so long now...") but what they imply ("go have your hair cut"). I can always tell the compliment from the ill-natured remark in disguise. Last year I got so much pressure from everyone in my family and friends that I ended up disliking the way my hair was. I cut it in layers and then I had everyone BUT ME raving about how much better it looked. Won't happen again. I'll be visiting my family for Christmas and have started preparing for the "it's getting so long" in good time.

[lyria]

I've gotten that mostly from my mom (who had me in bob cuts until I was 7 when I revolted). I don't know if she has just gotten used to it, or if she likes my new stylist as much as I do because I was recently on my way to a reunion, and scrambling to get ready, and my hair was not cooperating in the half-up I wanted. My mom said, "Why don't you just wear it down? You have such a great hair cut you should just leave it alone."

It was really nice to hear that form her finally! I think sometimes people get used to seeing you a certain way and are surprized by drastic changes. It doesn't feel so sudden to us, but if you where your hair back a lot and then let it down one day people take notice! But I don't think it necessarily means they don't like it; they're just not used to it.

[Alizarin Fionn]

I usually just say "thank you." If they meant it as a criticism, they would then be put in the awkward position of correcting you, and I can't imagine anyone would be so rude.

I am with you Sneakybea, I just act like it was a compliment. They can hardly back track and actually say that they had intended to insult me. Can they? Sheesh I hope not because then I would have to whip out some insults of my own!

[lora410]

I get that all the time at work, but in a positive view. This girl at work loves to say you hair is soo long and the warehouse guy just said the other day it look lovely :) we are not here to please others, just ourselves.

[Anje]

I just respond with "thank you."

On a related note, today I wore my hair in a high braided ponytail. After class, one of my fellow TAs said, "You have long hair, don't you?" Ummm, yes, I do, thanks. (Never mind that I wear braids a few days a week, but the high braid is unusual. It must stand out more -- it's definitely more "swingy.")

[olearyck]

I agree with those who have said that the opinions of most people on your hair length don't matter. For myself, it's only what I like and what my husband likes that matters.

[Chromis]

If someone says it's long my response is "it's getting there!"

That is my reply as well :)

[chantiny]

I just wanted to say thanks everyone for all of the support :D. And I'm sure it would be much easier if my hubby actually liked long hair, but he has never really seen/known anyone (other than people walking down the street) who have long hair. He accepts the fact that I want it long and doesn't try to get me to cut it, but he doesn't specifically support it or go "ooh such pretty long hair". At least he isn't in the same boat as everyone else who specifically wants it shorter. :rolleyes:

[maliha]

Well,,,I think taking such stuff as compliments is the best way,,,but i would do like to comment back again what one of my friend here(Aisha25) has a quote on "Long hair is a gift , not a burden" to make others understand what my opinion is :)

[spidermom]

I pretend that every comment about my hair is a compliment. So if I hear "you're hair is getting so long," even if it's said in a disapproving voice, I will say "yes, thank you; it is, isn't it?"

[Meatball Head]

lol total noob here...but i just ignore them and roll my eyes, or tell them its my hair and i like it this way and walk off

[RavennaNight]

When people comment positively about the length,I say thanks. If it's more along the lines of sounding like they are implying it's too long, I like to give them a mind bender. "Really? It still feels pretty short to me! Thanks!"

[Arctic]

I was re-thinking this, and my current length has propably a lot to do that I have only positive experiences, my hair is "only" APL now, longest it's ever been but short on LHC standards. I hope as my hair grows I wont get negative remarks, but if I do, I have some "tools" I have learned here :D

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

Yes, I have had the same comments made about me from all my family members. Nobody in my family seems to approve of my hair length. My mother especially, she's always telling me, usually when I'm about fed up with my hair, that I should just chop it all off. It makes me angry, yes, but I usually ignore her and I would never chop my long locks off. I say that I've workied too hard to get to this length(not to mention keeping it healthy was even more work).

[susiemw]

I am so frustrated that every time I let my hair get past shoulder length, my close friends and family comment on how long my hair is getting. Yes, it is a compliment, but the way they say it is "oh its getting SO LONG now..." like it is getting longer than it should.


Is that really the intent/meaning behind your friends and families words or is it your interpretation?

It's pretty common for people to comment on changes in appearance. It sounds like your hair being longer than shoulder length is unusual for you so I would expect your friends and family to comment on it.

It sounds like the "so long" isn't a comparison to other peoples length... it's a comparison to your normal length.

Is it possible that you're making a change that you might not be 100% comfortable with and that your sensitive to others comments because of that?

sometimes when we make changes in our appearance if it's a little out of our comfort zone we can get a little sensitive to others comments.

I hope your friends and family become more supportive (if they aren't) and can express it to you in a way that doesn't make you feel like they are judging you.

Susan

[Lady Godiva]

Yes, it is a compliment, but the way they say it is "oh its getting SO LONG now..." like it is getting longer than it should. And I am only to BSL, and to me, that is medium length. Long is waist. SO LONG would be TB or classic, which are my real goals. So what will they say once I do hit classic?
"It will be someday," might work, as you gesture to classic length.

By hip or classic length, they'll probably consider you a lost cause and bother you less about it. Seriously. That's when strangers start piping up with LoL comments. Joy! No, wait, those start up sooner...:hmm:

Adjust. Hair is rather visible, and for some unknown reason, it seems fair game for folks to comment on others' hair as if it affects them at all. You're going to get comments. The easiest thing to do is interpret them all as compliments, even the negative comments: "You're not really going to grow it *that* long, are you?!?!?!" :bigeyes: :shake:

"Sure I am, and I'm going to love it! Thanks for noticing! You might like to grow yours long, too!" :cheese: :puppy: :kitten: :happydance:

:lol:

[marajade]

I've had conversations with friends in which I have tried to explain my desire for long hair, what is "long" to me and they end up giving me looks or the conversation ends in uncomfortable silence. I've learned that I need to save my thoughts for this forum. As sad as that is, the rest of the world just doesn't feel the same way about hair like we do.

[chelles2kids]

Oh My Garsh, yes! It drives me crazy sometimes, of course this all depends on the person and the tone of voice they use.

The last time I visited with my Dad, he made a "What are you doing letting your hair grow out? You look like a granny lady!!!" comment.
What the heck?:confused:

Not that his opinion has any bearing on me, but still I wonder where he came up with that one??:rolleyes:

[jojo]

I know what you mean i just say, ' not long enough!' though i secretly love it when people say it, as i see it as a positive sign my hair is growing!

[chantiny]

I guess i am just an impatient person :p.
I am very glad I found henna, because I *hate* chemical dyes and I am really not a spend two hours on a hairstyle type of person.
Every time I get to APL/BSL I start getting tired of it. It takes hours(even days) to dry because it is so thick, and it is still too short to make a proper braid because of how it was cut when it was short. I really want to grow it long, and once it gets past this stage, I know I'll be fine. But until then, I can't stand the comments that I should cut it. My grandmother had the two inches of permed hair thing, specifically because HER mother had ankle length hair and she wanted to rebel. She passed on the hating-the-longhair thing to her children too.

[Amara]

No matter who it is, I just say "thanks!" It makes it clear that long is a positive thing for you. If they persist with a more negative comment, like "when are you cutting it?" I just correct them, ie "actually I'm not planning on doing more than a trim here or there. I'm growing it long." If they then get really negative, I just say "well, I like it." A simple statement of your feelings is really all rude people deserve, anyway.