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Dante
February 27th, 2017, 03:13 AM
Going grey


For those who have gone from regularly dying their hair to cover the grey, to letting the grey show through, how did you make the decision to go grey? Did you base it on age, life stage, amount of grey, or something else? And how did you manage the transition from coloured to grey?


I am currently trying to decide whether to make the transition. I found my first grey hair at 13, and have been dying my very dark brown hair with permanent dye to cover the grey since my early 20s. I recently turned 40, and it's not so much the age per se, it's that reflecting on life made me realise that:
- I've been dying my hair for a long time, and I'm a bit sick of it
- the longer I grow my hair, the longer it'll take to grow out the dye, so maybe I should start soon (currently I'm just past BSL).


Which all sounds like maybe I'm ready to grow out the grey. And I think I could be really happy with grey hair. But how do you manage the demarcation line? I need to look professional for work, and I don't know that it would be well accepted if I just left it to go grey (nothing would be directly said, I don't think, it just wouldn't be good.)


My hair is very dark, and does not look good with light brown/blonde tones (my base tone is orange, so lighter shades just go orange very fast, no matter how much toner, plus I just don't like these colours on me). So what to do? Do you just suck it up and accept having a colour/grey line for as long as it takes to grow out? Semi permanent colour? What did you do?


Here are some pics showing my colour and extent of grey - currently it's only a centimetre or so that's grown out.


https://www.dropbox.com/s/2lc5l7gb0pv3o8p/Hairline.jpeg?dl=0


https://www.dropbox.com/s/owijykvowkxmswf/Goinggrey.jpeg?dl=0

ETA: sorry, pics won't load (internet too slow tonight). Will try again adding them tomorrow

lapushka
February 27th, 2017, 04:00 AM
Be prepared, because the contrast of the gray with the colored parts may be a shock to you, the more it grows out. It's one heck of a journey to embark on and I applaud you for having the strength to do it, because it's unlike growing out any other color, it's gray, you know, and that color in and of itself carries a lot of weight with it. It can, doesn't have to, but it can. My mom colors her hair every 3 months, and when the gray grows out, I always tell her it wouldn't be bad to grow out, but then you can see the wheels churning, and she decides against it every time.

Good luck! :flower:

hayheadsbird
February 27th, 2017, 04:52 AM
I can't se the pics, but someone made an observation a month or so ago that really struck me. We only get to go grey naturally once, and she didn't want to miss seeing how her hair changed and developed as it came in. That really stuck with me. I know I have them coming through, and although I personally don't know if I want that for myself I love grey hair and how amazing the colour variations are on others. I also don't want to miss out on seeing the changes that happen in my own hair. At the moment I'm weaning myself off henna by doing lighter and lighter glosses on the roots only when I absolutely have to. So another 2 months or so, and I'll henna again to soften the line slightly. Because my natural hair colour is a dark brown anyway, the contrast between the henna and natural isn't to strong and I've never even noticed when growing out henna in the past, but the grey hair stands out far more these days!

10000days
February 27th, 2017, 05:39 AM
My mum is in her mid-50s and had been dying her hair black/dark brown for a decade. She decided this year that she had "matured to the idea" of having a full head of grey. So we got it to a blonde, which she subsequently fell in love with so she's going to keep the blonde instead. The benefit is that she can go much longer without dying the roots and regrowth is much less noticeable. Perhaps this might be an option for you since you're tired of dying the regrowth all the time. And in the future, the transition to grey will be much less confronting from blonde than it would be from dark brown.

I asked LHC for some ideas on getting my mum's hair to a grey colour here: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=121644
And here's how my mum actually got her hair to a blonde: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=141017

rmani
February 27th, 2017, 09:48 AM
My childhood colour was brown-black. I started to grey in my teens and applied semi and permanent colour every 6-8 weeks until I turned 32 (18 years). At this point I was 60-70% grey with BSL permanent coloured hair. It was largely damaged. I had tried henna in the past which lead to damage. I was tired of a) the damage b) having to go to a stylist every 6-8 weeks c) the time and money I was spending to really enjoy my hair for a week because my roots grew in so fast and was such a start contrast to my dyed tresses.

My transition:
- Stopped colouring cold-turkey. The last application was the day before I turned 32.
- Trimmed every 12 weeks to maintain BSL and remove damaged ends
- Tied my hair back using buns and braids. Rarely did I wear it down outside of the house
- Told everyone what I was doing so it didn't seem like I didn't care about my appearance. Yes - people questioned why would I do such a thing. Now those same people compliment me on my hair.
- When my roots were just below my ears, I saw a hairdresser who was talented enough to tone and colour the remaining coloured ends to match my roots. This allowed me to keep those ends until a length I was comfortable with for my 'big chop'
- When my roots reached shoulders I cut. It took me about 14 months total.

Good luck to you! I agree with hayheadsbird - I actually loved my transition and once people knew what I was doing they got excited to see the changes too. My DH was my biggest critic ("Please just colour it!") and now he is my biggest supporter showing off pictures of my hair to his lady colleagues at work!

Dante
February 27th, 2017, 01:11 PM
Thank you all for your advice! And 10000days, your mum's hair is beautiful!

I've got some thinking to do...

lapushka
February 27th, 2017, 04:48 PM
I just watched this. Thought it was nice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKwuSWfuQxA&t=0s

Aphra
February 27th, 2017, 10:05 PM
Sarahlabyrinth on here handled it very nicely by reducing her dye across multiple root applications, so she has a beautiful colour gradient rather than a hard demarcation line. Admittedly, she was working from blonde to grey, but I think a similar approach could still work with dark, and result in some very pretty effects.

rmani
February 28th, 2017, 07:39 AM
I just watched this. Thought it was nice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKwuSWfuQxA&t=0s

Thanks Lapushka - I enjoyed that! :flower:

lapushka
February 28th, 2017, 08:27 AM
Thanks Lapushka - I enjoyed that! :flower:

You're welcome. Thought it was a nice message. :)

Obsidian
February 28th, 2017, 10:05 AM
I just started growing out my grey after using henna for 1.5 years. My natural color is light blonde, combine that with silver/white hair and my demarcation line is very noticeable. I had thought about using weaker and weaker henna glosses to blend the roots in but in the end, thats just more orange hair to grow out that will need to be cut off in time.
I'm going to try a direct deposit dye instead, something to lightly blend the roots while they grow in but won't be permanent. Once my roots get down to my chin or so, I *may* go to a salon and have a *few* copper streaks put in just to help the line not be so straight.

Islandgrrl
February 28th, 2017, 11:34 AM
I made the decision to stop henna, which really was only ever to conceal grey anyway, over this past summer. I now have about 8" of heavily silvered hair at my temples and a reasonably even mix throughout the rest. Except for a pure silver streak at the nape of my neck.

My reason had nothing to do with age and everything to do with effort. Henna every 2-3 weeks was: Just. Too. Much. Work.

ElisabethS
February 28th, 2017, 12:46 PM
i started going gray in my early twenties. have died ever since until about five years ago. scalp got irritated, i got tired of dying so often and i was worried about my health. first i used semi permanent color, then some color that washes out after each wash until i soon stopped all together. plus the hair got lighter and lighter on it's own after i stopped the permanent dye all on it's own. i now love my grey hair, especially once it gets longer. i think long gray hair looks stunning!

vpatt
March 1st, 2017, 08:21 AM
You may be interested in the Salt and Pepper thread.

genlilliana
March 1st, 2017, 01:17 PM
I went cold turkey. I've been coloring my hair since my 20's - found my first white hair on my head at age 13. White! So I turned 41 last year, I have been dealing with a (currently) unmanageable chronic illness and I needed to color my hair again. My husband suggested I skip it. I thought - what? I will look old (I have a LOT of white in my hair.) Anyways, I thought why not? I did go to Sally Beauty and get a color oops (I think that's the name) kit and took some of the color out of my hair - it lightened the demarcation line. I've been wearing boho headbands - they're the only ones that really stay on; or buns, braids, ponytails. I was more self-conscious about the color at first, but now - I don't even notice! My natural grays and whites are almost as down to my shoulders for length and my hair is just past my BSL. I can't wait for it all to grow out because the natural hair is so much healthier!

Deborah
March 1st, 2017, 10:11 PM
Dante,

However you go about it, I think you are making a good, quality decision. Your natural hair will be healthier for it, and I bet it ends up lovely too!

Dante
March 3rd, 2017, 11:07 PM
Hi everyone, thanks for your advice and suggestions! I've decided I am going to give it a go, and I'm really inspired by all the lovely pics over on the Salt & Pepper thread.

I decided a good way to start off would be to try to strip away some of the old dye, to try to make the line where my grey starts less noticeable. I used a colour remover this morning. I'm not sure it's really made a difference, but my hair doesn't look as dark now, so maybe it has.

Here is my hairline before:
http://i63.tinypic.com/2q9mhz5.jpg
http://i68.tinypic.com/73ikuc.jpg

And here it is now:
http://i66.tinypic.com/1danc.jpg
http://i67.tinypic.com/2m5h08h.jpg

I think the grey shows through more around my temples, and perhaps the line isn't as pronounced - although not sure it's just my imagination? Either way, I feel ready now to see how it grows in without dye.

Deborah
March 3rd, 2017, 11:40 PM
Good for you! I think you have made a good decision and a great start.

Tosca
March 3rd, 2017, 11:54 PM
It might be the light, but the demarcation line looks a lot less stark now :)

Serimel
March 4th, 2017, 01:33 AM
Dante that's a big decision you've made and I'm happy for you. Your silvers blending with the darker strands look just beautiful. And I have to add your eyes are mesmerizing.

MEK
April 14th, 2019, 04:18 PM
I went cold turkey and just let it grow out and trim periodically. This is 3.5 years and I am totally transitioned. I love the freedom of not having to dye it.https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/cWEgLdmKQdCrqXPboEsIXw.xxw-5fUuQe9WQPfIgf6xhV

MEK
April 14th, 2019, 04:19 PM
I went cold turkey and just let it grow out and trim periodically. This is 3.5 years and I am totally transitioned. I love the freedom of not having to dye it.https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/cWEgLdmKQdCrqXPboEsIXw.xxw-5fUuQe9WQPfIgf6xhV

Not sure why the photo is not posting. <sigh> Trying it a different way

https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/cWEgLdmKQdCrqXPboEsIXw.xxw-5fUuQe9WQPfIgf6xhV

Groovy Granny
April 14th, 2019, 04:23 PM
wrong thread

losgan
April 14th, 2019, 05:24 PM
Going grey


I found my first grey hair at 13, and have been dying my very dark brown hair with permanent dye to cover the grey since my early 20s. I recently turned 40, and it's not so much the age per se, it's that reflecting on life made me realise that:
- I've been dying my hair for a long time, and I'm a bit sick of it
- the longer I grow my hair, the longer it'll take to grow out the dye, so maybe I should start soon (currently I'm just past BSL).


Which all sounds like maybe I'm ready to grow out the grey. And I think I could be really happy with grey hair. But how do you manage the demarcation line? I need to look professional for work, and I don't know that it would be well accepted if I just left it to go grey (nothing would be directly said, I don't think, it just wouldn't be good.)


My hair is very dark, and does not look good with light brown/blonde tones (my base tone is orange, so lighter shades just go orange very fast, no matter how much toner, plus I just don't like these colours on me). So what to do? Do you just suck it up and accept having a colour/grey line for as long as it takes to grow out? Semi permanent colour? What did you do?


Hi Dante! I also found my first grey in middle school! I知 naturally a redhead and I致e been using henna.

For now I知 just letting mine grow and using a headband a lot to blur the demarcation line. I知 ALSO growing out a pixie. I値l get another pixie before I dye again ... but I知 hoping to suffer through the grow out all at once. But I知 also not in a professional environment so I can get away with that.

I already feel more free, not havibg to worry about finding time to do the henna, wondering if I got all my roots, feeling like my hair looks monotone ...

I値l stick it out with you! I just turned 40 myself.

desisparkles
April 14th, 2019, 05:33 PM
Not sure why the photo is not posting. <sigh> Trying it a different way

https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/cWEgLdmKQdCrqXPboEsIXw.xxw-5fUuQe9WQPfIgf6xhV

just lovely MEK!

I stopped dying in 2017. I found my first grey around 13.

My mom always dyed her hair red - until 5ish years ago. I hated it! I practically begged her to dye it - it looked so awful to me :(

I came to the realisation that seeing her with grey hair meant that she was "suddenly" aging and I couldn't accept it. When she grew past shoulder and cut off all the dyed red bits - it looked so great.

I was being judgemental and cruel about her growing out process but there was underlying denial on my part about just accepting that she's ageing.

I didn't want to see that drastic difference on myself or for my kids to see it. I wanted my hair to just be "me" so that's why I stopped dyeing.

BerrySara
April 14th, 2019, 06:49 PM
Not sure why the photo is not posting. <sigh> Trying it a different way

https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/cWEgLdmKQdCrqXPboEsIXw.xxw-5fUuQe9WQPfIgf6xhV

Wow that is straight stunning MEK!

Sarahlabyrinth
April 15th, 2019, 03:43 AM
Sarahlabyrinth on here handled it very nicely by reducing her dye across multiple root applications, so she has a beautiful colour gradient rather than a hard demarcation line. Admittedly, she was working from blonde to grey, but I think a similar approach could still work with dark, and result in some very pretty effects.

I actually began from a dark brown dye, then began dying my roots blonde instead of the dark brown, I figured transitioning from blonde hair would be easier then from dark brown! Then after a while began reducing the time the blonde dye was left on my hair for (always dying roots only). The process took four years (and the old dark brown dye faded to look almost the same colour as the blonde dye. I have pretty much no demarcation line between my silvers and the blonde dye:

https://i.imgur.com/lNW4e0M.jpg

Longlegs
April 15th, 2019, 05:24 AM
A beautiful way to transition to grey, it's lovely.

Sarahlabyrinth
April 15th, 2019, 08:37 AM
Thank you, Longlegs:)

dove4
April 15th, 2019, 06:14 PM
I let my hair go brown and white when I got tired of the translucent orange color I got from henna. It was pretty, but red or orange hair never felt like me. After a few years of henna, I just stopped.

There was only one stage where it looked bad to me- I think it began when I had about three inches of roots. By the time my natural hair color got to the middle of my ears, it didn't look so noticeable to me.

If I colored my hair and then switched to my natural color again, I would probably do the same thing- just grow it out. It really only looks awkward for a few months.

lapushka
April 16th, 2019, 04:02 AM
Not sure why the photo is not posting. <sigh> Trying it a different way

https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/cWEgLdmKQdCrqXPboEsIXw.xxw-5fUuQe9WQPfIgf6xhV

Gorgeous hair! Quite a bit of hair too! :D

lapushka
April 16th, 2019, 04:04 AM
I actually began from a dark brown dye, then began dying my roots blonde instead of the dark brown, I figured transitioning from blonde hair would be easier then from dark brown! Then after a while began reducing the time the blonde dye was left on my hair for (always dying roots only). The process took four years (and the old dark brown dye faded to look almost the same colour as the blonde dye. I have pretty much no demarcation line between my silvers and the blonde dye:

https://i.imgur.com/lNW4e0M.jpg

Very pretty, Sarah!

It's a lovely transition. Isn't it completely gray by now? I for sure can't spot the color (and that's a good thing, right).

Katsura
April 16th, 2019, 04:12 AM
I think I have some silver hairs appearing now that I'm growing out my last dye. Because of the lovely naturally beautiful silver hairs here on the forum I want to embrace my greys as they come. :heart:

Sarahlabyrinth
April 16th, 2019, 04:28 AM
Very pretty, Sarah!

It's a lovely transition. Isn't it completely gray by now? I for sure can't spot the color (and that's a good thing, right).

It's good you can't see the transition! :D It is completely gray down to about elbow length, below that it is all old dye :D It will be a lot of years yet before the whole length is dye free.

lapushka
April 16th, 2019, 04:33 AM
It's good you can't see the transition! :D It is completely gray down to about elbow length, below that it is all old dye :D It will be a lot of years yet before the whole length is dye free.

I honestly (cross my heart) had no clue! :)

Sarahlabyrinth
April 16th, 2019, 04:36 AM
I honestly (cross my heart) had no clue! :)

I'm very glad to hear it! I didn't want a visible transition line :D

luluj
April 16th, 2019, 06:14 AM
I'm very glad to hear it! I didn't want a visible transition line :D

Your hair in the photo is absolutely lovely, Sarah. I agree with lapushka, there is no visible transition line, at least not that I can see. Your process for growing out the hair dye was a well thought out one.

Sarahlabyrinth
April 16th, 2019, 06:18 AM
Your hair in the photo is absolutely lovely, Sarah. I agree with lapushka, there is no visible transition line, at least not that I can see. Your process for growing out the hair dye was a well thought out one.

Thank you :) I put a lot of thought into planning how I would do it.

luluj
April 16th, 2019, 06:42 AM
Not sure why the photo is not posting. <sigh> Trying it a different way

https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/cWEgLdmKQdCrqXPboEsIXw.xxw-5fUuQe9WQPfIgf6xhV

Your hair color is really pretty, MEK.

luluj
April 16th, 2019, 06:44 AM
Thank you :) I put a lot of thought into planning how I would do it.

You are welcome, Sarah. :)

BerrySara
April 16th, 2019, 10:59 AM
Wow your hair is lovely and so impressive Sarahlabyrinth!

I just recently found your bun tutorials on youtube and was totally admiring your hair (since I cant do any of those buns yet lol).

Sarahlabyrinth
April 16th, 2019, 01:11 PM
Wow your hair is lovely and so impressive Sarahlabyrinth!

I just recently found your bun tutorials on youtube and was totally admiring your hair (since I cant do any of those buns yet lol).

Thank you very much, BerrySara! I will admit, some buns do take a lot of practice to be able to do.