How to quit straightening?

[Leighash]

Hello everyone!
Ive just began S&Ding, although right now I've been banned by my mum because I kept on finding MILLIONS of white dots and a lot of 'baby' splits (teeny tiny ones) and she worries that I'll mess my hairs thickness up.
i straightened my hair once this week as it is half term for my school - I only did the shorter, more awkward sides and even then I did a half job and just parted it to a side and let it be
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQ51JElDp3U/?taken-by=aleighhk
there are some photos of that night - I think my hair is actually rather straight but the sides are shorter, thus look more wild? Also I've been straighening and bleaching my hair at salons since the age of 11 and considering that was almost 4 years ago I've been told my hair has been quite good to put up with that but because I've been straightening for that long it gets to that point where it looks frizzy and messy and it's like a viscous cycle, right? But when I last got my hair done (this time we are gradually adding low lights to hopefully rid of the bleach and match my natural hair colour) I was told I need to stop straightening my hair so much, but I continued to straighten it on school days and the occasional Saturday and then 2 weeks later I was with my stylist and getting a good trim.
that was 2 weeks ago, my stylist said it would be much better if I learnt how to use a round brush to dry my hair into a smooth style as it not only gives it volume but it tends to last longer and won't concentrate my strands so much as the iron would and I did try that but I'm not very good at it so I just use the cold setting on mostly dry hair to add some shine.
This is very long and unstructured so I'm going to try reeling myself in haha.
I haven't bothered with my hair this week like I said its half term so I haven't had school, last week though I discovered that if I straighten my hair Monday (I wash my hair Sunday's and try not to wash it again until around Thursday, sometimes I can pull it out for a week) and apply a little dry shampoo, then my hair will stay very straight for the next few days and will only need a touch up on the sides if I don't pin them back (which I do most of the time anyway) and Ive also been occasionally rocking my normal bed head look.
Again apologies for the length of this (no pun intended) but I really want to know if it would be OK for me to carry on doing the once or sometimes twice a week straightening for a bit whilst slowly letting my hair go natural little by little and eventually straighten my hair once a week or every two weeks and then maybe once a month? I think then my hair can slowly start to recover while I slowly get used to my non straightened hair and hopefully master the round brush technique. Thoughts?

[lunasea]

If you want it straight without damage, wrap it at night. Here is an example (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgwBNir2AtA). Not the best because she is really making it more complicated than it needs to be but it will give you the idea.

[Rebel Rebel]

Hi Leighash,

I'm certain you'll get some good advice on this question. It's true that you might have more resilient hair but at some point the heat and the bleach, especially on the older hair length, will break and damage easier. I think even a few times a week is too much. If your hairstylist is concerned that's a pretty good warning. I guess it depends on how long you'd like your hair to grow? I think other members might be able to help here.

Personally for me and my fragile hair, I had to give up the flat iron completely. This was so hard as I'd been doing it everyday for over 10 years. My hair was in a terrible cycle of having to smooth out the damage. I had to choose between smooth hair vs attaining healthier hair. I definitely didn't like the way my hair looked by letting it air dry but found I could sometimes use a hair dryer on the cooler setting to control and minimize the frizz. Round brushes on my hair seem damaging but your hair might be able to handle it better. I do get my hair round brushed on the rarest occasion and it does look pretty. Better than a burning hot flat iron.

It's been almost 2 years since I've stopped ironing and I'm still growing the last bit of damage from my flat iron.

[Rebel Rebel]

I just the read the last part of your post and yes it a good idea to get down to using it once a month or less : ) Just know that every time your using it it's causing some bit of damage. You can give it up though! I know it!

[lithostoic]

You could blowdry it straight instead. Lasts longer anyway. If the air doesn't feel hot on your skin, it won't hurt your hair. Do not rough dry though! Use a paddle brush to pull the hair straight while you blowdry.

[proo]

I had a moment of clarity when I realized what I was doing every time I put heat to my hair-
Busted out all my tricks and went cold turkey :
Scarves, toys, hats, avoidance, pin curls- the works
I also did a big chop which for me was chin length.
It was a perceptual shift, once I quit, I quit.

[MoonRabbit]

You have to ask yourself if you are willing to put up with your hair now for a healthy head of hair in the future. I gave up all heat 2 years ago, I never thought I could do that. I used to blowdry and straighten my hair every single day. I kept telling myself "I have to straighten it, if I don't my hair looks frizzy and just all around terrible". Well after a few months of being heat free I realized my hair was frizzy and terrible because I was heating it so much. When you manipulate your natural hair type for a long period of time it's going to start acting out. I think if you just give it a try for a few months you will notice how much your hair will calm down. The damage will still be there but you cab baby it. Try new heatless styles, braids, pinned updos...anything.

[ghanima]

Personally, stylewise, I like very much bun waves, they should work with your type of hair, while they don't work too well with mine, maybe they are a tad too short for that but soon enough you can do a bun on the crown (hair previously spritzed with water ever so slightly) before bed, and in the morning you will have very nicely styled voluminous shiny hair. The nice thing is that the bun is also protective of the hair, so you get two goals in one action. The bun will help control frizz too, if that's a problem you have, although for that there is an all other set of techniques and products that you can explore.

[Hay_jules]

I didn't want to give up my straightener when i came here a couple months ago. I thought once every few weeks wouldn't do any harm. I bleached dark brown hair, damaged it severely, and had chop to shoulder (from apl) and I did s&d to rid myself of every visible split end. After a couple weeks of no heat I decided to straighten my hair (I had to spend the day hanging around my bf's ex so i had to look my best), about 2-3 days later I noticed the velcro ends starting and could see a lot (like maybe 50-ish) new splits. I was only able to notice the difference because i was certain i had no splits (i check daily) and for 3 weeks of no heat I was able to maintain that. Seeing that was enough for me to decide it wasn't worth it to straighten it. Ever again really.

[Deborah]

As to HOW to quit straightening, maybe ask a friend to take and hold onto your straightener for a few months. Out of sight, out of mind might help some.

You really just need to decide that you are finished doing this particular damaging thing to your hair and stick to it!

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Honestly you have to just cut it cold turkey. The longer you hold on and do that "only once a month" deal the harder it is to stop.
I stopped using heat like 3 years ago. Haven't touched it at since and I 100% believe it has contributed to my length gain.

[spidermom]

I think the first thing you need to do is give up how you think your hair is supposed to look. Find out what kind of hair you have and what it naturally does, then work to bring out its best.

Wash and condition your hair. You can comb the conditioner through. Then rinse and let your hair dry naturally; don't touch it! Post a picture if you can. Your hair will probably need regular deep conditioning treatments to counter the effects of frequent straightening.

I've been through this. My hair doesn't have a regular wave pattern. It's wavy, it's curly, it's straight, it's a mess. I used to straighten it because I wanted it to look smooth and sleek instead of bushy. I've since discovered that there's nothing wrong with my wild pattern. When I use the right products (a curl creme and Fiji styling therapy oil), I can tame it just enough that it doesn't look bushy. It's full of texture, and there's nothing wrong with that. Straight and sleek isn't the only way that hair can be pretty.

[arwenofgondor]

I wanted to share my experiences. I stopped straightening and using any heat products because I severely damaged my hair with bleach (I mean like bleached it myself over 10 times, and then had multiple professional bleachings there after). I cut cold turkey because I had to for the shake of holding on to what hair I had left. It took quite a long while to have my hair in a condition where it would dry the way my hair naturally would. But I'm so thankful that I learned to live without heat. I don't do anything to my hair when I get out of the shower besides pull my bangs down. I let it dry that way and once I get more length I'm excited to try drying it in buns again! That's what works best for me.

It truly is a learning process. You learn how your hair looks if you dry it with/without combing, with different bun/braid styles, etc. You just learn what you like best! It's a journey with any hair or body progress but I will always say it's better to cut out the head completely and learn how to work with what your hair gives you :)

[lillithnight]

If you want it straight without damage, wrap it at night. Here is an example (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgwBNir2AtA). Not the best because she is really making it more complicated than it needs to be but it will give you the idea.

Actually, I would say that is the proper way to wrap 3B/3C/4A etc hair that is thick, coarse, and been blown out or pressed. The few times my hair has been wraped in my life, I or the person wrapping my hair did pretty much the same thing she did. However, it is a bit overkill for the OPs hair, IMO.

[Synester]

I straightened my hair every single day from 2006-2011 because being a emo/scene kid was the coolest thing and the WORST thing I could EVER do to my hair LOL as someone with naturally ALMOST straight hair that is very fine and fairly easy to tame, I quit by learning other ways to keep my strands straight. I got a keratin treatment that laid my strands out alittle flatter than usual and that lasted a long while.
Chemicals are bad but there are many "perm" straight like treatments like a Japanese straightening treatment. If you have type 1-3 hair when wet, you can blow dry it straight with a brush (thats what I do) and my hair comes out really nice that way. Yes, its still using heat but not clamping ur hair together with 300 degree metal/ceramic clamps.

[Nymphe]

Here is another video on wrapping wavy hair from Aveda:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CpG0LaYCMg

You can cover with a scarf overnight.

[dansyl]

So I used to blow dry and straighten my hair overtime i washed it. About 5 months ago I just stopped. At first it looked awful. Super frizzy. I could never leave it down. but now... it's kinda trained itself to behave. You have to practice with leave ins. You can do it... you just may have to go through an awkward period of time.. but it won't last long, and you can just leave it up for a little bit! It's worth it in the end, I promise.