Convince me to cut or not to cut my hair

[divinedobbie]

Hi guys,

Unfortunately no recent pictures as my laptop has lost its mind and I can't take more pictures on my phone right now. I've been debating back and forth between cutting my hair since atleast October. I posted on here a month ago asking for help with tangly hair and that hasn't resolved itself despite suggestions.

My hairs basically waist length, with the last 10 or so inches being in pretty bad shape from growing out layers and bleach (from 4 years ago!!), henna 2 1/2 years ago and then one highlights a year and a half ago. My hair is otherwise well taken care of with no heat styling ever and I've been trimming for the past three years (actually I just missed my LHC anniversary will have to post pics when I get a chance). I haven't cut it since before June though and I either want to do a chop (6-8 inches) or not touch it at all. I can't convince myself to go either way and I've done the two week rule, which really has been more of a two month rule. I think I would really enjoy good thick ends to grow from... but also don't want to lose my long hair as soon as I got it. Help! I know microtriming seems like the best option but I'm so tired of it and want black and white here. Thanks LHC :)

[Nique1202]

Most people who ask for advice are honestly conflicted, but I don't think that's the case here. So I know this runs counter to what I usually say, but you sound confident about your decision already: if you know you'd still be happy with the length afterward, I'd go for the chop.

You've been sitting on this for months, and you know your hair is less damaged higher up so will be easier to care for. You could go for the safer end of a chop and take, say, 3 inches off, and see if that helps, and then another 2-3 if it doesn't. Then you're not committing to such a huge and scary change. But if the only way to get rid of the problem that's poking at your last nerve is to cut your hair, then you've gotta cut your hair.

[divinedobbie]

Replacing previous photo with this one, much more recent. Sorry for the terrible quality. The other picture is still in my 2017 album.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=13053&attachmentid=25956

[poli]

I deal with similar ends, blond dye and henna on top and uneven layers. If you haven't trimmed since June you probably would benefit from even a small trim. Like Nique said chop of some and see if it helps.

[Carolyn]

I have the same hair type as you do and the same type of damage. I had layers, dye, and high lights. What I did was a series of mini chops over 6 months. By mini chop I mean 3-4 inch cuts. I did that so I wouldn't go into shock over a drastic cut. It also gave me the opportunity to cut, re-evaluate, and grow a little before the next trim. I would suggest that you trim 3-4"to get rid of the roughest of your ends. Then baby your hair for a while and see if you need to do it again. Getting great hair is a process.

[stachelbeere]

Hi divinedobbie (my kinda hair twin!) Long time no see :)

IMO I think you should trim away in stages if you feel like you want to trim a lot... Trim one or two inches first and see for a few days how you feel about it. If you want more off, go from there. I totally understand where you're coming from, I still have so much henna to grow out :/ But maybe what you're craving are 'fresh ends'? Which you'll get from trimming that much.

[lapushka]

Why don't you join the microtrimming thread. You can either chop your growth off monthly, or take half your growth or so. This way you can still grow while taking care of damage. I'd do it this way. You've held out for as long as you have anyway. Might as well keep taking it slow.

[divinedobbie]

Thanks everyone for your replies :flower: always knew I could count on you guys for reason. I've decided I'm going to trim 2 maybe 3 inches this morning first (a good average of the suggestions here) and see how I feel after that. It will probably only look like one inch since the very very ends are see through. Feels like it's been a long time since I've trimmed (myself) even though it's only actually been about 8 months. I'm kind of nervous. If I was going to chop, I was planning to treat myself and go to a hairdresser. I actually had plans to go with my boyfriend this week (long distance, only get to see him every few months) for moral support. Hopefully this trim is all I need.

P.S hi twinsie!! It has been a while :)

[Sterlyn]

I was in a similar situation with self-inflicted damage, from a perm and then repeated force fading/harsh washes for coloring. My fine hair was maxed out with what it could deal with, I think. I started finding a lot of 5-6" pieces of hair with no root when washing or detangling, pretty sure it was breakage. I was having a terrible time with tangling as well last spring, but was able to minimize that with products/oil. I was looking at microtrimming for 2-3 years to keep the length until the damage was gone.

Realizing that all those shorter hairs I was finding weren't shed hairs was a tipping point for me, I decided to eliminate the damaged hair as much as possible. I cut back to a bit past shoulder from hip length, approx 12". I was relieved to have the damage gone and I don't hate the cut at all, it's easy and cute but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss my length, a lot. Mine was a bit more drastic than you are considering and you will still have some length left.

From someone who just did something similar, yes a fresh start, with reasonably healthy hemline is nice but I still miss my hair. The damage was a pain to deal with but getting rid of it didn't console me as much as I thought it would. LOL, sorry I am really no help at all as far as a decision goes but I sympathize with where you're coming from.

ETA: LOL, we were typing at the same time I think. I think your plan of controlled chops is a sound one, especially if you are attached to your length. If I hadn't had breakage, I would have preferred that route.

[antler_tines]

I just did a small chop too, my ends were just so cruchy and tangley and also breaking off. I am a little sad about the set back, it was really just like 2 inches but I have a short torso... so it set me back a few milstones :P That being said, my hair is much more agreeable now, soft and smooth ends that don't tangle! If I were you I would just start with 2 inches versus 3 or 4, because you can always trim off more if you still think you need it!

[stachelbeere]

Don't be nervous - my "hairdresser" is my best friend whom I trust - she even cuts less than I ask her because she's so afraid to cut too much hehe. Maybe ask a friend/ relative? Maybe even your boyfriend? My best friend's 'hairdresser' is her husband btw :P

[spidermom]

Coming directly out of my attitude, you understand: I say do it. You know that once those bad ends are gone, every millimeter that you grow will be yours to keep.

Trimming and trimming and trimming while staying the same length drives me absolutely insane. It feels like going nowhere.

[ReadingRenee]

Hmm.. I have grown out bleach damage and henna before. I did it with small tiny trims over time. In hindsight, I wish I had chopped it all off because I would have enjoyed the growing process more. Yes, it would have set me back as far as length, but growing it out was such a pain with all the babying and feeling like my ends looked terrible. That said, I think your hair looks pretty good in your pictures.

If I were you, I would do what you said you were going to do and trim a few inches and see how you feel. Sometimes that can really make a much bigger difference then you realize it will.

[Dark40]

No, don't cut it off. Keep growing! I think your hair looks amazing!

[Neon Sun]

I agree with the previous responses, the small chop can be the best decision :)

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Did you ever end up doing a chop?

[divinedobbie]

Did you ever end up doing a chop?

whoops! Sorry I have been a ghost around here lately and never checked back into this thread.

I did not chop, I ended up trimming I think about an inch off following this thread, then did two half inch trims between then and now. I still go back and forth wondering if I should do a chop since I'm seeing no progress micro trimming. But I'm still in the same place :shrug:

ETA: I think it's time to update my about two year old avatar and siggy.

[Corvana]

Well if you did smaller cuts and it didn't really help and you're still unhappy, then cut all the damage off. Sure you'll lose a bunch of length, but IMO it's made up for in being happier with the condition of the hair left.

It seems to me that although you do want to keep length, the length isn't enough to make you happy with having to trim a little and baby in between. So while you'll miss the length, I think overall you'll be happier.

[Synester]

if the damage is really bad, the best thing to do for your hair is to chop some inches. i do 1 to 2 inches every several months to keep getting rid of my processed ends while my virgin natural hair grows in healthier. its painful to cut your hair when u are seeking more length. but to me, longer healthy hair is much nicer than longer unhealthy hair.

[leayellena]

I am a firm believer in self micro triming like Emi LongHairedAtHeart does.

[esfand]

Just trim little by little and you can also do those cellophane treatments that help seal your cuticles and ends.

[lapushka]

whoops! Sorry I have been a ghost around here lately and never checked back into this thread.

I did not chop, I ended up trimming I think about an inch off following this thread, then did two half inch trims between then and now. I still go back and forth wondering if I should do a chop since I'm seeing no progress micro trimming. But I'm still in the same place :shrug:

ETA: I think it's time to update my about two year old avatar and siggy.

I think trimming shorter bits is the way to go. Unless you get *really* tired and fed up of dealing with the damage (if it's really bad that can be the case).

[Cherriezzzzz]

Late to this thread, but I loooooove the way your hair looks. I was going to say cut only an inch, see how you feel, but you already did that and then some. Could this be a dissatisfaction with your hair in general? I say that bc it seems like you've previously done a lot to your hair, but haven't done much to it recently? Your hair really didn't look bad whatsoever!

[divinedobbie]

I think trimming shorter bits is the way to go. Unless you get *really* tired and fed up of dealing with the damage (if it's really bad that can be the case).

Nah, I am doing okay, not thinking about it too too much. The tangling has eased up a lot since original post 6? 7? months ago. So perhaps while the progress is not visual, some has been made.
My bigger worry is that I am "wasting" away years of hair growth never gaining any thickness or length. I worry that if I had just chopped it off, my hair would have a healthy template to just grow, rather than logarithmically growing and breaking to no net gain. Seeing as I rarely measure anymore or keep track otherwise, I do not, to my own fault, have any idea of knowing if that is true.

ETA: My hair has stayed at the same length +/- an inch for the past year and a half for sure which is why I think I am going nowhere. I guess my above issue is that I don't know if that's from slow hair growth in general, breakage, or trims.

ETA2: But doing the math.. I have been growing my hair out for 4 years as of June with a starting length of 24-25" from what I remember. Estimating an average of 6" per year x 4 = 24". I generally trim 2 - 4 x a year. Never have I lopped off more than 2", usually staying well within 0.5 - 1" so even if I trimmed 4/yr x 1" that should leave me with 8" gained in the past 4 years. My hair is at 29" currently. The unaccounted for 3" could be aforementioned breakage, growth stall, or coefficient of variation in calculations. Not too worried about it - just impatient :). Feels like 4-5" of length in 4 years (~1" gained a year) is really terrible. Now if I had chopped 6" at once back in 2013, would I be further along? Impossible to say.


Late to this thread, but I loooooove the way your hair looks. I was going to say cut only an inch, see how you feel, but you already did that and then some. Could this be a dissatisfaction with your hair in general? I say that bc it seems like you've previously done a lot to your hair, but haven't done much to it recently? Your hair really didn't look bad whatsoever!

Thanks! I'm generally happy with it, like everyone else I wish for a thicker hemline and longer length hence this thread being started to see which way I could better achieve that. I was usually more dissatisfied when I kept doing things to my hair actually. I would dye it, be unhappy with the colour and dye it again, then cut it, soon after be dissatisfied and get layers, which made me dislike it more etc.. Since leaving it alone and trying to get back to my natural colour and a straight simple style I have been happier :).

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Everyone grows at their own pace. I have been here for almost 8yrs and I am not the length I should or could have been at this point.
To me, it sounds like you're just lightly frustrated with your hair and growth. To be honest with you, maybe micro trims will be the best for you instead.
Even if it takes a year of micro trimming and only seeing a few inches of length (which is doubtful, i am sure you would get more than a few inches.)
I know it seems like using that time and not seeing a whole bunch of growth feels wasteful. But eventually you will hit a length you like.
Just be patient, I would not chop if I was you. Micro trimming has done me well, and as someone that hardly ever saw growth and experiences tangles like you do: micro trimming helped me gain my usual 1/2" a month.

[divinedobbie]

Everyone grows at their own pace. I have been here for almost 8yrs and I am not the length I should or could have been at this point.
To me, it sounds like you're just lightly frustrated with your hair and growth. To be honest with you, maybe micro trims will be the best for you instead.
Even if it takes a year of micro trimming and only seeing a few inches of length (which is doubtful, i am sure you would get more than a few inches.)
I know it seems like using that time and not seeing a whole bunch of growth feels wasteful. But eventually you will hit a length you like.
Just be patient, I would not chop if I was you. Micro trimming has done me well, and as someone that hardly ever saw growth and experiences tangles like you do: micro trimming helped me gain my usual 1/2" a month.

When we say microtrim, how much are we talking? I feel like my intended "microtrims" are actually trims since I usually take off that half inch to an inch. I just find it soooo hard to truly microtrim since my hemline is unfortunately very v-shaped and I am trying to get one straight across so if I only took a few mm's off the ends, I would honestly snip maybe 30 hairs.

[divinedobbie]

So while I realize the photo is not taken in the same angle etc, here are some comparisons of 2014 to today (excuse my dirty bun wave hair).

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=10763&d=1399334978

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=28218&d=1501298429

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

When we say microtrim, how much are we talking? I feel like my intended "microtrims" are actually trims since I usually take off that half inch to an inch. I just find it soooo hard to truly microtrim since my hemline is unfortunately very v-shaped and I am trying to get one straight across so if I only took a few mm's off the ends, I would honestly snip maybe 30 hairs.

I think I usually trim about 1/4" or less. Imagine little specks of dust, that's about as much as I would trim each month if I was micro trimming. I don't know why it makes such a difference but it does. Right now I'm in the no trims for 6 months mind frame / challenge and the first time I tried this I saw lots of breakage. I'm giving it a go again, and if my hair still has breakage, back to micro trims I go. It takes a long time, so you'll get bored or frustrated but when I micro trim my hair is the most behaved. Less tangles, slowly more blunt ends, feels good.

That's the thing, the longer you micro trim the more that V will begun to disappear. I don't know if you've ever seen past photos of my hair but I had pretty bad taper. It's taken me a year but it's almost completely gone. Micro trims did that though. I did them for 6 months and then left my hair alone for 6 months, and it's still not fully gone but micro trims is making it happen.

My theory is that my "dead" ends protect the rest of my length so instead of cutting off large portions of hair off, I cut small. Because in the end, for me, cutting more at once doesn't do anything but take away length because tangles come back. Breakage and tangles always come back no matter how often you trim or how much rather. So I'd rather trim off small amounts and experience the same effects as I would if I cut off more.

[Cherriezzzzz]

Nah, I am doing okay, not thinking about it too too much. The tangling has eased up a lot since original post 6? 7? months ago. So perhaps while the progress is not visual, some has been made.
My bigger worry is that I am "wasting" away years of hair growth never gaining any thickness or length. I worry that if I had just chopped it off, my hair would have a healthy template to just grow, rather than logarithmically growing and breaking to no net gain. Seeing as I rarely measure anymore or keep track otherwise, I do not, to my own fault, have any idea of knowing if that is true.

ETA: My hair has stayed at the same length +/- an inch for the past year and a half for sure which is why I think I am going nowhere. I guess my above issue is that I don't know if that's from slow hair growth in general, breakage, or trims.

ETA2: But doing the math.. I have been growing my hair out for 4 years as of June with a starting length of 24-25" from what I remember. Estimating an average of 6" per year x 4 = 24". I generally trim 2 - 4 x a year. Never have I lopped off more than 2", usually staying well within 0.5 - 1" so even if I trimmed 4/yr x 1" that should leave me with 8" gained in the past 4 years. My hair is at 29" currently. The unaccounted for 3" could be aforementioned breakage, growth stall, or coefficient of variation in calculations. Not too worried about it - just impatient :). Feels like 4-5" of length in 4 years (~1" gained a year) is really terrible. Now if I had chopped 6" at once back in 2013, would I be further along? Impossible to say.



Thanks! I'm generally happy with it, like everyone else I wish for a thicker hemline and longer length hence this thread being started to see which way I could better achieve that. I was usually more dissatisfied when I kept doing things to my hair actually. I would dye it, be unhappy with the colour and dye it again, then cut it, soon after be dissatisfied and get layers, which made me dislike it more etc.. Since leaving it alone and trying to get back to my natural colour and a straight simple style I have been happier :).

That is SO GOOD hear! I'm in the same boat as you. I've found myself so much more satisfied with my hair leaving it simple!