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Obsidian
January 6th, 2017, 10:37 AM
How do you all manage to commit to so much hair care year after year? All the deep treatments, S&D, scalp washes, fancy updos, no heat, no dyes, hours of detangling, hours of drying, clarifying, chelating, protein, masks, etc... (I think you get the point)

I've only been growing 1.5 years or so and already its really getting to me. Its just so much work and my hair is still short, I can't imagine what it will be like when its longer.

You might be able to tell but I'm pretty unhappy with my hair. Sometimes I wish we, as a species were bald. I'm unhappy with short hair but I'm unhappy with this longer, always in my face, needy for moisture, dry fluffy mess too.

ipickee
January 6th, 2017, 10:44 AM
I get what you're saying, and I've been there. Tried the short route, and loved it. But I also love the concept of long hair. On me, it feels more feminine. My hair is, oddly enough, my hobby. It feels good to take care of something, and see the results pretty quick with deep conditioning treatments, henna, etc.

Saldana
January 6th, 2017, 10:46 AM
Well.....I don't do all that stuff. I wash/condition my hair about twice a week (once on Wednesday, once on either Saturday or Sunday). Right now I'm trying out the Morrocco Method products, but I've also used Avalon and Suave. No biggie. Regarding the other stuff - I don't do fancy updos - usually my hair is bunned, or maybe braided. Ergo, little detangling. I don't want or need to use heat or dye on my hair - I let it airdry, and I'm happy with my hair color/greys. I don't use products that cause build up, so don't need to clarify/chelate. My hair isn't damaged by heat and dye/bleach, so I don't need protein packs and masques.

So maybe rethinking the way you care for your hair might be helpful, if you're feeling overwhelmed by all the 'stuff' you have to do to it currently?

HeartofHaleth
January 6th, 2017, 10:55 AM
While I've been growing my hair out for about 5 years, I've only been taking care of it LHC style for just under a year. I know that I don't have the patience to keep up with a super complicated routine, so I just follow good old "KISS": keep it simple, stupid! One wash a week (or maybe longer), maybe a scalp wash if I need it, detangle when I wash unless I've been bad and gotten it all tangled :p. I do buns that take under a minute or simple braids, unless I'm feeling really fancy (which isn't often). I don't really do a lot of treatments or anything. Maybe I should, I don't know, but my routine works for me and keeps me from stressing out too much about hair. It's also really helpful for me to put it in perspective. I know so many women and girls who spend so much time getting their hair "just so" every day! Compared to them, I barely touch my hair! :D Between the two, the LHC method works much better for my natural laziness! :p

vampyyri
January 6th, 2017, 11:00 AM
My hair is, oddly enough, my hobby.

Echoing this... because it's so true. If it wasn't a hobby now it would have been lopped off right after my wedding!

ipickee
January 6th, 2017, 11:04 AM
While I've been growing my hair out for about 5 years, I've only been taking care of it LHC style for just under a year. I know that I don't have the patience to keep up with a super complicated routine, so I just follow good old "KISS": keep it simple, stupid! One wash a week (or maybe longer), maybe a scalp wash if I need it, detangle when I wash unless I've been bad and gotten it all tangled :p. I do buns that take under a minute or simple braids, unless I'm feeling really fancy (which isn't often). I don't really do a lot of treatments or anything. Maybe I should, I don't know, but my routine works for me and keeps me from stressing out too much about hair. It's also really helpful for me to put it in perspective. I know so many women and girls who spend so much time getting their hair "just so" every day! Compared to them, I barely touch my hair! :D Between the two, the LHC method works much better for my natural laziness! :p

This is a good point as well. When you consider how much time and product styling it every day takes with heat, products, etc, I definitely spend less time and money on my hair than I did years ago when I used to use heat and stuff. Plus, any treatments I do are on wash days, 90 % of the time, and don't add more than a couple mins to my regular routine.

Obsidian
January 6th, 2017, 11:07 AM
Since I have SD, I have to wash my hair at least every 2-3 days. In the summer its usually every day and that does dry it out some so I've been trying to find the best way to retain moisture, so far nothing really helps. I do have hardish water so chelating is necessary, so is clarifying since I need cones to keep my curls tangle free. I don't mind the clarifying/chelating since its nothing more then washing. Its all the moisture retain attempts with no results that is frustrating.

I recently bleached my hair in a attempt to remove some of the henna. It didn't work and now I have slightly damaged hair that is very dry. I'm actually sitting here with a head full of henna, hoping it will not only fix the awful color I was left with but also help the condition of my hair. I'm feeling really stupid over this, not only did I manage to damage my hair but it was a waste of $$ and time.

Buns and braids are fancy updo's to me. I've never had long hair so I've never had to learn either. I can of course do a simple english braid but not with my currently heavily layered short hair. Ponytails and peacock twists are about as complicated as I can do.

I guess I always though of long hair as wash and go but I'm learning its far from that. Short hair is so much easier.

pili
January 6th, 2017, 11:09 AM
Longer is way easier for me, and as others have said, it's almost a hobby. I don't wear make-up or get dressed to the nines. My hair is my one beauty vanity and I see it more as pampering. The irony is that my hair has caused me grief for most of my life and now taking care of it is a source of joy. I wash once or twice a week, air-dry only, oiling it makes it feel amazing (which conditioners, gels and mouse never did) and since it is still pretty short, updos are limited, but I get creative where I can. Once it's up, I don't have to think about it for the rest of the day.

parkmikii
January 6th, 2017, 11:10 AM
Just because I've wanted long hair since forever I guess. It became my hobby. I don't do any complicated things, pre wash oil, wash, condition, maybe LOC and that's it (maybe experiment with a hair rinse or such every once in a while), I guess I got used to doing these, it doesn't feel like a chore.
As for dyeing and bleaching that's another story. I can only use henna since my scalp had a horrible reaction to both bleach and normal hair dye, it was itchy and caused me massive hair fall (300-500 hairs). I am not even tempted to do those anymore after that disaster from 8 years ago. \_(ツ)_/

samanthaa
January 6th, 2017, 11:13 AM
All the deep treatments, S&D, scalp washes, fancy updos, no heat, no dyes, hours of detangling, hours of drying, clarifying, chelating, protein, masks, etc...

Long hair really isn't much work for me. I do very little. But I think it has a lot to do with my hair type.

Deep treatments: I really only SMT, and though I'd like to do this weekly, it usually ends up being every other week or every three weeks. It takes an hour. It's really not that much commitment. I have a little "me" evening when my SO is out of the house. I watch Chopped and clean the house. lol

S&D: I don't S&D.

Scalp washes: I don't scalp wash. I wash my hair once a week, on Saturday, and if my hair gets sweaty throughout the week from working out, I just rinse with hot/warm water while taking my usual shower.

Fancy updos: My everyday braids and buns only take about a minute to do, less if it's not a braided style.

No heat: Doesn't heat styling only add extra time and work to your routine? I don't use any heat. I previously blew dry my hair throughout high school and, yeah, it was just another step in my morning routine. I'm glad to have simplified now.

No dyes: My hair's hennaed and that was definitely WORK. One of the main reasons I stopped was because I hated the application process. I don't thinking dyeing itself is inherently bad. I think harsh dyes and bleach are problematic, but if you go about it the right way, you can certainly color your hair and maintain healthy locks.

Hours of detangling: My hair is fine, thin, and straight and doesn't really require much time to detangle. I guess that's a positive of this hair type that I otherwise struggle to find positives about?

Hours of drying: See above. My hair dries in about an hour.

Clarifying: I use shampoo bars and cone-free and "natural" (or as natural as I can find) conditioner, so clarifying is not required.

Chelating: That has to do with hard water, right? I don't have to chelate. I do use a mildly acidic rinse after washing with a shampoo bar, though. That is extra "work"--all of two or three minutes per wash.

Protein: My hair does not like protein.

Masks: What is a mask? I don't even know. The only special thing I do to my hair is SMT.

Perhaps you can simplify your routine in some way? Put it up more? That will make you think less about the dryness or the fluffiness. It will also help deal with the "always in my face" problem, which I get and also hate. Fortunately, I think having longer hair is actually beneficial for keeping hair back; braids and buns are smoother, and the hair stays back behind your shoulders when it's loose (or at least that's my theory; I have a layer of breakage that I CAN'T WAIT to get long enough that it will stay behind my shoulders).

antler_tines
January 6th, 2017, 11:14 AM
I guess to me, doing a deep treatment s&d session or the like makes me feel good. Like I'm pampering myself, not just my hair. I would say if you are feeling like it is a chore, then something needs to change? Going for a simple daily care routine. But then occasionally adding another thing like chelating or a deep treatment while you take a nice hot bath or something would make you feel differently about it? It does sound like if you feel the need to do all those treatment all the time that maybe there is something about your normal routine that is causing build up etc. Maybe like the others said, you should just try to simplify your routine.

There are plenty of no heat styling options as well, you could do a quick sock bun in wet hair for lovely waves or wet braiding for tighter waves and if you miss coloring you could try deposit dyes?

There are also people who just decide they like long hair, but it isn't for them. You may still strive for healthy hair in which case this forum is also helpful for that.

Every persons journey is different :)

AspenSong
January 6th, 2017, 11:17 AM
I ditto the hobby comment to a degree. It is a bit like that.
But I've been growing mine out for 7 years now and it's basically just part of life now. I don't have an overly demanding hair routine (wash and condition once-twice a week, few drops of hair oil out of the shower, wear it in a bun...occasionally I do a coconut oil soak overnight).
And really, other than dye - I didn't do much with my hair when it was shorter. I usually had it in a ponytail or in a claw clip. Not much different than now. Really the only thing that changed big time for me was not constantly dyeing it. And I can still do that a bit with veggie dye, so I'm good.
In the end, my long hair makes me happy and that's what makes me keep doing anything to do with it. :) I don't see any of it as a chore really, just things to take care of it.

pili
January 6th, 2017, 11:22 AM
Since I have SD, I have to wash my hair at least every 2-3 days. In the summer its usually every day and that does dry it out some so I've been trying to find the best way to retain moisture, so far nothing really helps. I do have hardish water so chelating is necessary, so is clarifying since I need cones to keep my curls tangle free. I don't mind the clarifying/chelating since its nothing more then washing. Its all the moisture retain attempts with no results that is frustrating.

I recently bleached my hair in a attempt to remove some of the henna. It didn't work and now I have slightly damaged hair that is very dry. I'm actually sitting here with a head full of henna, hoping it will not only fix the awful color I was left with but also help the condition of my hair. I'm feeling really stupid over this, not only did I manage to damage my hair but it was a waste of $$ and time.

Buns and braids are fancy updo's to me. I've never had long hair so I've never had to learn either. I can of course do a simple english braid but not with my currently heavily layered short hair. Ponytails and peacock twists are about as complicated as I can do.

I guess I always though of long hair as wash and go but I'm learning its far from that. Short hair is so much easier.

i think you are just going through a transition phase. Wurly hair like ours is notorious for having an in between stage from shoulder to about BSL or waist where it just does not seem to behave. Chemical damage doesn't help either. Also, layers make updos hard to accomplish at shorter lengths. I'm currently in the same boat as far as length and layers. I just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel because I have been to waist with no layers. If this is your first trip there, it's going to feel harder to get through.

truepeacenik
January 6th, 2017, 11:23 AM
Benign neglect. Emphasis on neglect.

Wash a time or two a week. Condition. Rub oils into ends when noticed/convenient.
Keep bunned or braided to avoid long detangling.

Invest time on LHC.

neko_kawaii
January 6th, 2017, 11:24 AM
I think it really depends on hair type and your hair expectations. I prefer to have my hair out of my way at any length, which means either super short or long enough to bun. I wash every 3-4 days, wear it up except when drying (one hour max and I can bun damp if necessary). While I can do fancy updos with accent braids, multiple buns with accents etc, a basic bun takes less than a minute to do and doesn't have to be detangled first if I don't want to. But my hair type allows for that.

A deep treatment doesn't take time, it takes fore thought. I can oil my hair before bed, saturate it in diluted conditioner first thing in the morning, make breakfast, pack for the day, shower, and be out the door. I just have to remember that I want to. If I don't remember, no harm done.

Viola88
January 6th, 2017, 11:38 AM
I'm a benign neglector. I wash every 2 days because of SD, air dry, do a half up or bun. I cut my hair using Feye's method every 6-12 months. That's it. No masks, no S&D etc I stopped using henna because it was too much of a pain in the behind for me to do my roots every 6-8 weeks.

I would dial back what you are doing. Keep it super simple.

Kaya
January 6th, 2017, 11:42 AM
I honestly don't know what keeps me on this path to long hair. Questionable sanity perhaps?! :lol:

But seriously, I think it's just a combination of things. I had short hair (as in longest length was collarbone and shortest was a bowl-type pixie) while growing up. So being able to grow long hair is something radically different, despite being 6 years into it. Someone else mentioned it above: I'm not a super girly girl; I don't wear makeup or really care about clothes. But my hair is my one vanity. I like keeping it soft and shiny and beautiful and adorn it with all sorts of hair pretties. It's the one thing I will continue to invest in (products and toys) until I feel otherwise.

While I can agree that short hair can very much be wash and go, once I found my routine, it's been pretty easy and straightforward to follow day in, day out. I oil and CO-wash daily, which really is second nature to me now. I occasionally have to chelate to offset the hard water here, or use a citric acid rinse if I'm feeling less inclined to do a full shampoo. I braid towel damp at night, and by morning it's only got a touch of cool dampness left, which I let air dry before oiling up and throwing it into a bun 99% of the time.

I have questioned if I can keep this up for as long as I anticipate to get to the length I desire, with a nice hemline. I lost a decent amount of length due to hard water when we moved and my hair doesn't seem to be growing as well here as it did in the heat and humidity of Georgia.

But I recently stopped focusing on length and more on overall health. I'd rather keep up my habits and keep my hair in good shape than worry over whether it's growing. We won't be here forever and perhaps our next location will allow my hair to grow better. In the meantime, I can't imagine not taking care of my hair as I do currently. It's practically ingrained in my psyche now! :D

I'd echo others: KISS and benign neglect are your friends! Find the simplest routine that works for you and stick with it. Throw you hair up and forget about it!

Rebeccalaurenxx
January 6th, 2017, 11:59 AM
I spent as much time bleaching and coloring and treating my hair way way back, so the things I'm doing now don't seem to take much time away. It's pretty equal.

Are you using a medicated shampoo for your SD? I am, when I was using a doctor perscriped shampoo I found myself needing to wash with shampoo less often. Maybe that's the issue? Rotate your products. I'm going to switch to shampoo bars and only use my medicated shampoo once a month -- that's the plan at least. There are sulphate free options for our hair condition. Make things more simple. Use less. Put it up and forget about it. I SMT with every wash, so I get those deep treatments in even if I don't have the hour or two to leave it in every week -- sometimes we can't make the kind of time, I think it's more benefiting to do it for a little bit than to not do it at all.

lapushka
January 6th, 2017, 12:09 PM
How do you all manage to commit to so much hair care year after year? All the deep treatments, S&D, scalp washes, fancy updos, no heat, no dyes, hours of detangling, hours of drying, clarifying, chelating, protein, masks, etc... (I think you get the point)

I've only been growing 1.5 years or so and already its really getting to me. Its just so much work and my hair is still short, I can't imagine what it will be like when its longer.

You might be able to tell but I'm pretty unhappy with my hair. Sometimes I wish we, as a species were bald. I'm unhappy with short hair but I'm unhappy with this longer, always in my face, needy for moisture, dry fluffy mess too.

I weekly wash. So that's when I detangle (not during the week). I detangle pre-washing. Then my hair gets washed (shed hair removed while it's washed), and then after it gets out of the towel, it gets detangled one more time, but this time only with a WT comb. Then my stylers are applied, and I airdry for 2-4H, then all that needs to happen is diffusing, for about 5 min. Then my hair is mostly dry (the roots are, lengths almost). This just needs to happen once a week! One time of "trouble", and the rest of the week, it gets bunned into its 15 sec. updo (that's all the haircare it takes day to day). So... it's worth it.

Shorter hair, I would have to wash multiple times a week, & style on top of that, which would take me... hours!

No, give me long hair any time!

bparnell75
January 6th, 2017, 12:12 PM
Yes, it is a hobby along with making hair toys to go in it. I do the KISS method too. So it is fun for me. I Just wash twice a week I scalp shampoo not to vigorously, then condition my tail. I air dry and then when it is dry put it up in a bun. With a little practice a lazy wrap can be done in 10 seconds and secured with a stick or fork. My fancy days consist of a fancier hair toy with sparkles maybe.

Also putting it up in a bun can tame a wild head of hair. Damp bun and when it is taken down you have lovely lose curls. Oiling and putting in a bun is easy too, just use a metal or plastic toy, claw clips, spin pins or Bobby's. It can be left over night or all day when you have a day off. Too much fussing will cause discouragement. ---hope this encourages you. If you need some plastic hair toys just PM me and I will send you some I have made.

spidermom
January 6th, 2017, 12:24 PM
I held on through years of frustration because I'd always had the deeply held wish to grow my hair to classic length. I knew I'd be upset if I never even tried, so I gritted my teeth through hating every minute of dealing with my hair and hung in there. I settled on the simplest routine I could get away with. When I was in the mood for it, I practiced and accomplished "fancy" updos, but most of the time I did what was quick and easy for me, which varied with length of course. I like soaking in a hot bath, which always made my hair sweaty and required at least a rinse after, so I would usually combine a deep conditioning treatment with a nice hot soak rather than making it a separate chore in my schedule.

As you've probably seen me state before, I never conquered the problem of thousands of split ends. I toyed for awhile with the idea of growing my hair as long as it would grow out of curiosity, but it was never a deeply held goal of mine, so eventually I abandoned it for what I felt were good reasons, and I don't regret cutting it.

hanne jensen
January 6th, 2017, 12:26 PM
How do you all manage to commit to so much hair care year after year? All the deep treatments, S&D, scalp washes, fancy updos, no heat, no dyes, hours of detangling, hours of drying, clarifying, chelating, protein, masks, etc... (I think you get the point)

I've only been growing 1.5 years or so and already its really getting to me. Its just so much work and my hair is still short, I can't imagine what it will be like when its longer.

You might be able to tell but I'm pretty unhappy with my hair. Sometimes I wish we, as a species were bald. I'm unhappy with short hair but I'm unhappy with this longer, always in my face, needy for moisture, dry fluffy mess too.

I've been growing for 8 years now. I've had some major chops along the way so I've had to deal with the hair in my face a few times.

I dont do all that much with my hair. I wash my hair every 6-8 days and wash all my hair. If I do a deep conditioning I smack it on my hair and clip it up while I wash my face and body. After rinsing off the conditioner gets rinsed out. Done. I don't S&D, I dust my hemline every 8-10 weeks.

As for fancy updos, my go to updo takes all of 30 seconds and I don't use a mirror. A "fancy" updo for a party takes all of 5 minutes. Your hair is long enough to do a donut bun. You can buy a hair donut at Sally's, Walmart or most supermarkets. I lived in donut buns when my hair was your length. You can fancy them up or not. Hair doesn't dry out or get as dirty when it's up. No more hair in the face.

I just leave my hair alone and get on with my life. Every once in a while I'll notice my hair and be amazed at how long it's grown.

Long hair is a lot easier for me to care for. I just smack it up and forget about it.

spidermom
January 6th, 2017, 12:31 PM
P.S: Between times of hating my hair, I had times of loving it, too. I especially loved pictures of it down, but the reality was that I rarely wore it down because I always paid for it in the form of not only tangles but knots.

littlestarface
January 6th, 2017, 12:31 PM
I always been this length/no dye/routine since I was a very little girl so for me it's how it's supposed to be. I'm very different than everyone here I guess cuz I never waited for my hair to grow out so it has never been a hobby,obsession to me or anything odd that no one else does. It's just life.

meteor
January 6th, 2017, 12:34 PM
It's all about benign neglect for me, too. Otherwise I'd go crazy with the mass of hair I have to deal with at this point.
I've streamlined the heck out of my routine. Haven't oiled pre-wash or done a deep treatment in ages, and I'm fine with that.
I just shampoo and condition now (actually, I condition length as I'm drying my scalp area to save time), and do that pretty infrequently to boot. Most of my washes are scalp-only washes to save on drying time.

Also, I keep hair in simplest braided updos 24/7 (think braided LWB, braided L-Infinity, Coronet braids...), just because it's both easy and sturdy, and certainly helps prevent tangles for longer than any other hairstyles I've tried. And I can turn them into hair-friendly bedtime hairstyle, just by taking sticks out and keeping the braid in. And I only detangle every couple days.



Now, you say you've bleached henna out and then hennaed again... well, that can certainly add a bit of maintenance work, I'm afraid, both in terms of damage control for bleach and roots maintenance for henna. Maybe I'd invest in conditioners/masks for damaged hair (with ceramides, silicones, protein, 18-MEA, etc) and throw in some protein treatment or just add a bit of gelatin to conditioner and oil the ends whenever you have a bit of extra time? It actually shouldn't add that much time to the routine, because you can simply swap out a regular conditioner for a heavier mask (e.g. SMT, gelatin treatment, oil + conditioner, etc) and oil right before bed or right after a wash, which should take seconds. There might also be a need for more frequent trimming/S&D'ing, but that also depends on the condition and resilience of your hair.

Good luck! :D And Happy Growing! :cheer:

school of fish
January 6th, 2017, 12:36 PM
I hear your frustration and feel for you.

You know, I believe we each have our own personal threshold for time and effort we're each willing to put into our hair, and I'm on the 'ain't no one got time for that' end of the spectrum ;) The truth too is that some hair by nature of its texture requires more or less care to stay manageable, and that too has an impact on how much a person is willing to invest.

I personally wash daily, detangle frequently during the day, wear it down most of the time, henna my roots/SMT once a week (or every 2 weeks, or 3, or when I can stand my roots no longer :p ), and that's about it. For me that feels low-maintenenance, for others I'm sure it would feel overly fussy - but then I have a texture that allows me to do this *easily*, there's no fight... if I had 3 or 4 texture hair or a different coarseness or porosity, I doubt I'd be caring for it the way I currently do. I have about zero patience for learning and executing updos so beyond a 10-sec nautilus or lazy wrap that I sleep in or do when working with fire or something, so I just don't do them - won't do them. Again though, my texture allows me the luxury of that laziness, and I accept the inevitable damage that comes from staying away from protective updos.

I'm not sure exactly how to advise here, other than to suggest you think about what your personal thresholds are. Finding the balance between willingness to cater to your hair and refusal to be a slave to it is part of the process of accepting what you have, I think... and sometimes letting go of certain expectations for the sake of liveability - whether it be colour, wash frequency, deep treatments, types of products, updos, length, condition, whatever - letting go of some expectations can smooth the path. It's not giving up, it's acceptance - and that takes fortitude ;) Certain things, like SD management, will likely need to not be compromised on, while other things more aesthetic have more room for play.

Wishing you luck in finding your balance! :D

LadyCelestina
January 6th, 2017, 12:55 PM
How do you all manage to commit to so much hair care year after year? All the deep treatments, S&D, scalp washes, fancy updos, no heat, no dyes, hours of detangling, hours of drying, clarifying, chelating, protein, masks, etc... (I think you get the point)

You don't have to do deep treatments, S&D, scalp washes, fancy updos. Heat and dye is more work, not less, but plenty here either dye or blow dry or heat style. Clarifying is just shampooing, chelating... does anybody do that anymore?, protein is just an ingredient, and again you don't have to do masks. But hours of detangling and hours of drying , that part is true :D

Upside Down
January 6th, 2017, 01:14 PM
First of all I am low maintenance but would like to be more pampering to myself, hair included.

So I try to do more deep treatments, clarifying etc etc but in reality I have a very streamlined routine and I spend very little time on my hair. I scalp only wash weekly for a month easily so then once in a month or more a clarifying wash and a deep treatment is maybe a few hours and that's ok. I combine it with pampering my face with sheet masks and make it a spa day.

I think it is more about the fact that you don't enjoy the results than the time you put in. Henna - bleach - henna must feel like you are going in circles and that is frustrating.

I remember when my hair wouldn't take color and I had bleached highlights that I couldn't color over. I was so frustrated. Henna indigo helped a bit but washed out after a few washes. Eventually I found a way to keep it up and away - out of sight, till it grew out and I cut it.

cgirl
January 6th, 2017, 01:24 PM
How do you all manage to commit to so much hair care year after year? All the deep treatments, S&D, scalp washes, fancy updos, no heat, no dyes, hours of detangling, hours of drying, clarifying, chelating, protein, masks, etc... (I think you get the point)

I've only been growing 1.5 years or so and already its really getting to me. Its just so much work and my hair is still short, I can't imagine what it will be like when its longer.

You might be able to tell but I'm pretty unhappy with my hair. Sometimes I wish we, as a species were bald. I'm unhappy with short hair but I'm unhappy with this longer, always in my face, needy for moisture, dry fluffy mess too.

I think of it like how some people like to take care of their car, washing it on weekends, detailing it, doing maintenance, etc., it's a hobby. It something to be enjoyed, and I like that it's a way that with my hair, I can practice self-care and taking time for myself. It's meditative.

I've also seen a few people mention that between chin and BSL is the hardest to take care of and style. Once you pass BSL, it won't be as fluffy because it will weigh itself down, and by then you'll have found a moisturizing technique that works for you. The time will pass either way, so why not hang in there and see if things improve in about a year and a half, two years or so? I know it seems like a long time, but think back two years ago and how fast that passed. :flower:

LongCurlyTress
January 6th, 2017, 01:27 PM
I agree with everyone else has said here. My hair is very curly 3b/f/iii and it breaks alot while detangling at TBL. I have found a nice length at hip while I let my ff layers grow back to hemline length. Sometimes if I am frustrated/bored etc a trim of only a half inch and this makes a huge difference. I think about just cuttting it all off back to match my ff layers but then, like today, after washing and doing a half up, it feels more normal and I can forget about the ff layers since they are in the half up in a pretty claw clip with rhinestones. Anyways... I think for me.. I obsess on my hair and find problems with it when I don't have much else going on in my life, or my other significant peeps in my life are stressing me out... but I hated it when my hair was at collarbone length .... I look like Lil orphan annie, ... and my hair bozos out at shorter lengths... so I just putitupandforgetaboutit. Eventually, I am so happy I didn't cut it again. Good luck. What else is going on in your life that you dont want to think about? That is when I want to cut my hair the most... be careful if this is happening to you... you dont want any regrets... ;)

lapushka
January 6th, 2017, 01:40 PM
Now, you say you've bleached henna out and then hennaed again... well, that can certainly add a bit of maintenance work, I'm afraid, both in terms of damage control for bleach and roots maintenance for henna. Maybe I'd invest in conditioners/masks for damaged hair (with ceramides, silicones, protein, 18-MEA, etc) and throw in some protein treatment or just add a bit of gelatin to conditioner and oil the ends whenever you have a bit of extra time? It actually shouldn't add that much time to the routine, because you can simply swap out a regular conditioner for a heavier mask (e.g. SMT, gelatin treatment, oil + conditioner, etc) and oil right before bed or right after a wash, which should take seconds. There might also be a need for more frequent trimming/S&D'ing, but that also depends on the condition and resilience of your hair.

Yes let's not forget your hair's been through the wringer! It is going to be obvious in how you need to care for your hair. I had mushy hair when I was at my worst and that was super hard to take care of. I was happier *after* the chemical burn & cut with shorter hair as that wasn't as mushy and hard to deal with anymore... sad but true.

It's not the exact same as taking care of virgin hair.

Also, I don't get the "hours" of detangling. It takes all of 5 min. for me to detangle pre-wash, and this is hair that hasn't been detangled in a week. First fingers go through, then a comb, then the TT. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort.

Chromis
January 6th, 2017, 01:47 PM
That routine sounds exhausting!

So I firstly do consider hair one of my hobbies, but that said, I spend a lot more time goofing off here than I ever do on my hair itself. I've never done scalp only washes or protein treatments or several of the other things on the list from the first post. Detangling is fast for me because of my nightly braiding. Long hair in general is much faster for me because my hair did not behave when short at all and required "product" to look good and more frequent washing. Past a certain point, I don't actually notice any difference in the drying time (BSL maybe? It has been a while!)

I happen to like trying new updos but I have reliable ones that I do most days that do not require me to think. Just put it up and go, my hands have the muscle memory already, don't even need a mirror. I am the world's most lazy henna'er as well and usually go for months or even years between hennas.

Obsidian
January 6th, 2017, 02:07 PM
Wow, thanks for all the advice and encouragement ladies.
Too many posts to quote but I will try to cover as much as I can.

I should start by saying that I don't do all the stuff mentioned in my first post. That was just examples of what I see as " long hair care"

Right now my routine is generally WC followed by a leave in and coney serum. I air dry, sometimes I partially blow dry on warm.
Once dry I either do a pony tail or peacock twist. If it's a cold day, I'll use a buff as a head band or just leave it down.

A couple times a week I try some kind of DC. Usually some kind of smt, so far, no luck with that.
I've tried commercial masks and smt, neither really help with dryness. Oils help with frizz some and if I think about it, I'll use avocado after washing.
Heavy oiling or soaks do zero for me besides add extra work to get it washed out.

Since I haven't found anything that really helps with moisture, I end up trying almost anything and it's getting exhausting. I just want healthy hair.

I think the comment about this stage of growing being a pita is right on. It's not short enough to easily style and it's not long enough to put up properly. It's frustrating to no end.

Root touch ups really don't bother me. Henna is easy to work with and I can do it early morning and be done before the sun is fully up.

Careing for the bleach damage does have me worried. I want to try something new for it but don't know where to start. Guess for now I'll just keep the ends covered in cones.

I did go to my stylest and get a trim today. Had the dry ends removed and my layers evened up. Hair feels a ton better.

I hope I never see my hair as a hobby. To me hobbies always turn into unpleasant work. I like the end results of my hobbies but I don't like the work to get there. I don't get impatient, just bored and move onto the next thing.

school of fish
January 6th, 2017, 02:19 PM
^^ Sounds like you're getting a handle on it - that's great! :D

For what it's worth, I don't consider my hair a hobby either ;) It's a part of my body and as such requires maintenance just like the rest of my body. Although I put loving care into the maintenance of my body for its health, functionality and appearance, I don't consider any of that 'hobby' activity - it's necessary maintenance.

But I have found my ways to make the necessary maintenance pleasurable. That ensures that the work gets done ;)

lapushka
January 6th, 2017, 03:01 PM
Just a quick question. After all the bleaching, you're back to henna? :)

sarahthegemini
January 6th, 2017, 03:33 PM
That's why it's better (imo) to adopt a simple routine. I wash and condition my hair every other day, let it dry naturally and put it in a bun that takes seconds to do. I don't do any of the other stuff you mentioned :shrug:

Cg
January 6th, 2017, 04:15 PM
I don't spend a lot of time on my hair care. I mostly air dry, but in deep winter also blow cool toward the end. Otherwise, it's detangle, brush, bun, forget. I would say 5 minutes a day unless it's wash day. I don't obsess on growth, the newest fad, or whatever. And yes, my hair is in fine health, thanks.

Obsidian
January 6th, 2017, 05:07 PM
Just a quick question. After all the bleaching, you're back to henna? :)

Yeah, you remember the brown I dyed it? Well, all the brown faded and it went back to almost the exact color I had before bleaching, just a bit lighter and duller. I figured sine it went back red and my hair was damaged, might as well go back to henna. Brighten the color back up and help condition my hair.

You are right about marring henna. I tried to have a blond affair but it was ugly and short lived lol.

I did a length check in today, the first since I cut 4 inches off to even up the layers some. I've gotten 2" of growth back, didn't know it had grown that much. It seems like its stopped growing and is just sitting at this length.

lapushka
January 6th, 2017, 05:11 PM
Yeah, you remember the brown I dyed it? Well, all the brown faded and it went back to almost the exact color I had before bleaching, just a bit lighter and duller. I figured sine it went back red and my hair was damaged, might as well go back to henna. Brighten the color back up and help condition my hair.

You are right about marring henna. I tried to have a blond affair but it was ugly and short lived lol.

I did a length check in today, the first since I cut 4 inches off to even up the layers some. I've gotten 2" of growth back, didn't know it had grown that much. It seems like its stopped growing and is just sitting at this length.

Yep. Oh... See, I kind of thought this might happen. Took me ages to really get rid of the henna, and I got suckered back into it like this one time too. I hope at least you like it and that it's there to stay. ;) Oh well, as long as you're having fun with your hair. That's all that matters.

missrandie
January 6th, 2017, 05:23 PM
Something I didn't see mentioned.. Have you tried LOC recently? Or doing an oil rinse in the shower? Those two things have helped me with moisture retention the most.

I'm sorry you're going through all this hell; but, I truly believe it gets better once you can truly put it up and forget about it.

I am a benign neglect kind of gal these days. My hair now gets that I term a WO(oil)CC, then L&C once I'm out of the shower. Light blow dry of the roots if I'm impatient, then in a bun. Sheds get finger-worked out in the morning then re-bun (cinnabun with a fork) for the day and night. That's all.

Obsidian
January 6th, 2017, 05:25 PM
I knew I would get some of the red back but I didn't expect the brown to fade so fast or so thoroughly. I also expected the bleach to lighten the henna more so the finished color would have been blonder and not such a dark brown.

I actually love my henna, always had. I just have a very strong desire to go back to my natural color which makes no sense since I hate my natural color. I now know that if I do want my natural color, I won't be able to take any short cuts. I have no desire to deal with the whole growing out drastically different colors and the weird "I look bald with roots" so henna it is. I think I'll let my white streaks grow out though, its easy enough to separate them before applying the henna.

Just another case of live and learn. My hair might have a little damage but its not the end of the world.

Obsidian
January 6th, 2017, 05:30 PM
Something I didn't see mentioned.. Have you tried LOC recently? Or doing an oil rinse in the shower? Those two things have helped me with moisture retention the most.

I'm sorry you're going through all this hell; but, I truly believe it gets better once you can truly put it up and forget about it.

I am a benign neglect kind of gal these days. My hair now gets that I term a WO(oil)CC, then L&C once I'm out of the shower. Light blow dry of the roots if I'm impatient, then in a bun. Sheds get finger-worked out in the morning then re-bun (cinnabun with a fork) for the day and night. That's all.

Loc just makes my hair feel nasty, too much product that can't penetrate the teflon henna. The best I can do is leave in + coney serum or coney serum + oil. Sometime I double on on the cones, useing serum and a balm. I can't use any kind of curl cream.

Never tried a oil rinse. Is that where you oil, rinse then wash? Never understood what that would accomplish besides needing more shampoo to get the oil out. In all honesty, my hair doesn't really respond to oil.

school of fish
January 6th, 2017, 05:57 PM
Loc just makes my hair feel nasty, too much product that can't penetrate the teflon henna. The best I can do is leave in + coney serum or coney serum + oil. Sometime I double on on the cones, useing serum and a balm. I can't use any kind of curl cream.

Never tried a oil rinse. Is that where you oil, rinse then wash? Never understood what that would accomplish besides needing more shampoo to get the oil out. In all honesty, my hair doesn't really respond to oil.

The oil rinse classically goes in between shampoo and conditioner - literally a few drops you smooth through and rinse out immediately either before or as part the conditioner step. It's the most microscopic delivery system for oiling I know of, so least likely of all the methods to leave unwanted excess oil.

I've got the henna teflon hair too, and I too can't use oils in any form or quantity without getting nasty hair BUT during the brittle dry, freezing months in winter I *can* oil rinse! My hair is well-moisturized with my existing routine but I sometimes find there's a point in wintertime between the dry outside air and the dry indoor heating air that my hair gets staticky - that's when I use use an oil rinse. It's a situational solution for me, and it has its place in my routine. Even in my finicky I-hate-all-oils-all-the-time hair ;)

Obsidian
January 6th, 2017, 05:59 PM
Thanks school of fish, I will try a oil rinse next time I wash. The dry winter air is not being kind to my hair either.

school of fish
January 6th, 2017, 06:06 PM
Yeah, the dry is brutal here right now!

I definitely suggest you start with just a tiny amount of oil, like 5 drops max. I've had success with mineral and jojoba - they somehow seem more 'rinseable' in my hair rather than say olive or something more viscous like that :)

If you go to any of lapushka's posts she's got the link to the rinse-out thread in her siggy - lots of info there!

Ligeia Noire
January 6th, 2017, 06:14 PM
Well, I always had long hair and I agree, as always, with little star, so for me it is just life, it is normal but I imagine it can be quite overwhelming for someone that is starting, I also have hair that tends to be dry and I am currently living where the water is hard and the weather is dry so I get you have to do extra stuff, I have to chelate and clarify because I also use silicones since my hair tangles like crazy. But of course I do not do it every time I wash. I do it once every two months or so. I am lazy. Mostly, my routine is pretty easy, I wear it in a braided bun everyday, 10 minutes or less, wash it on Sundays, now I am trying avalon tea tree and peppermint to fight the dry scalp, then I apply a thick conditioner let it stay for half an hour and rinse, so this is what I do, nothing more, I imagine that not having my hair up all the time would make me annoyed but even when I do masks and fancy updos as you put it, I love it because my hair is my jewel really, I love it, so yeah....

Hairkay
January 6th, 2017, 06:14 PM
For me hair care is a part of everyday life just like brushing your teeth twice daily. I've always washed/rinsed hair daily since I was a child. Nowadays it's gotten even simpler. I only style once a week. I'd used to do that daily sometimes twice a day. I now use a DIY hair mask once a week which replaced my weekly doc recommended shampoo alternative. I'm all for benign neglect. My older sis regularly does a lot more to her hair than I do. She keeps hers pixie short, permed straight. I even saw how my niece spent a lot of time on her hair and her weave and it was tiring to look at. There's no way I'm going to be putting myself through any long complicated hair routine. My skin can't endure that either. Simple is my lifestyle.

Sarahlabyrinth
January 6th, 2017, 06:40 PM
I mostly keep it simple, wash once, sometimes twice a week. Sometimes do a deep treatment. It is always either bunned or restrained in a sleeping cap. It's just a matter of routine, then it never seems too much of a problem.

trolleypup
January 6th, 2017, 08:15 PM
Well.....I don't do all that stuff. I wash/condition my hair about twice a week (once on Wednesday, once on either Saturday or Sunday). Right now I'm trying out the Morrocco Method products, but I've also used Avalon and Suave. No biggie. Regarding the other stuff - I don't do fancy updos - usually my hair is bunned, or maybe braided. Ergo, little detangling. I don't want or need to use heat or dye on my hair - I let it airdry, and I'm happy with my hair color/greys. I don't use products that cause build up, so don't need to clarify/chelate. My hair isn't damaged by heat and dye/bleach, so I don't need protein packs and masques.
Benign neglect, S&D from time to time, usually bunned.

Of course, I also have an easy hair type...and I am way past the awkward/annoying stage.

MsPharaohMoan
January 6th, 2017, 11:11 PM
Echoing hair being a fun hobby and method of self care. Just think, once past the awkward stage, you can ignore it whenever you want to! Although... sometimes I clarify and deep condition even if my hair doesn't need it :O

Plus it's nice to have a community of people brought together by something as simple as growing hair :3

MissMB
January 7th, 2017, 01:25 AM
I'm in the "I don't do most of that stuff" party. I just let the conditioner do its job while I multitask in the shower for 5+ minutes. I don't blow dry it. I let it go from soaking wet to damp then I gently use a wet brush and let it air dry. I'll get a little glob of coconut oil now and then and apply that when damp, but that's about as pampered as my hair gets and it's in good shape.

Also, it helps not to think about it. I know what it's like to think every day to yourself, "I want long hair," "I want..." etc. Desire leads to suffering, as the Buddha says. Just let it go and every now and then you'll say, "Oh my! Did my hair grow 3 inches?" Works for me. ;)

Alex Lou
January 7th, 2017, 01:56 AM
Maybe benign neglect isn't quite for you because of the SD, but look for ways to simplify your routine. Maybe just put it up in the easiest up-do you know how to do for a while and forget about it. And maybe stop using henna? I mean, if you were trying to get it out, why are you putting it back in again?

My primary reason for keeping my hair long is the ease of making it presentable day-to-day. As others have said, I just put my hair up in the easiest bun for me most days. When I get to spend some time on my hair, it does feel like special pampering, as Upside Down said. :P

hanne jensen
January 7th, 2017, 06:21 AM
I forgot to mention that I clarify and chelate at the same time. I blend 3 parts ACV with one part water and then add a good dollop clarifying poo. Apply to my hair from scalp to tips and put it up under a shower cap. 5-7 minutes later rinse well and apply conditioner then do shower stuff. My water is so hard that I do this every other month.

lapushka
January 7th, 2017, 06:29 AM
I knew I would get some of the red back but I didn't expect the brown to fade so fast or so thoroughly. I also expected the bleach to lighten the henna more so the finished color would have been blonder and not such a dark brown.

I actually love my henna, always had. I just have a very strong desire to go back to my natural color which makes no sense since I hate my natural color. I now know that if I do want my natural color, I won't be able to take any short cuts. I have no desire to deal with the whole growing out drastically different colors and the weird "I look bald with roots" so henna it is. I think I'll let my white streaks grow out though, its easy enough to separate them before applying the henna.

Just another case of live and learn. My hair might have a little damage but its not the end of the world.

Well I'm just glad you're happy with it; that's the most important thing! :)


If you go to any of lapushka's posts she's got the link to the rinse-out thread in her siggy - lots of info there!

Yep, it's all linked in my signature, should you be interested; and if confused by any of it, just ask in the thread itself. I'll be happy to answer you there! ;) :)

Simsy
January 7th, 2017, 06:53 AM
Maybe benign neglect isn't quite for you because of the SD, but look for ways to simplify your routine. My primary reason for keeping my hair long is the ease of making it presentable day-to-day. As others have said, I just put my hair up in the easiest bun for me most days. When I get to spend some time on my hair, it does feel like special pampering, as Upside Down said. :P

Amen to this. If the routine you are trialling is harder than you would normally go with; more steps, more products, or just more fiddling; then 2 things are going to happen sooner or later. 1. You will get sick of going to all the extra effort for very slow gain and 2. You will go back to old, easier habits simply because they are easy.

A simple routine, is much easier to stick with and you can always add steps here and there as you have the time and inclination.

lapushka
January 7th, 2017, 07:44 AM
Maybe benign neglect isn't quite for you because of the SD, but look for ways to simplify your routine. Maybe just put it up in the easiest up-do you know how to do for a while and forget about it. And maybe stop using henna? I mean, if you were trying to get it out, why are you putting it back in again?

My primary reason for keeping my hair long is the ease of making it presentable day-to-day. As others have said, I just put my hair up in the easiest bun for me most days. When I get to spend some time on my hair, it does feel like special pampering, as Upside Down said. :P

I have SD too, and I do benign neglect; well, I stick to a simple routine of WCC, ROO, LOC and that's it. As long as my scalp is happy, I'm happy. I can keep it very well at bay with a sulfate shampoo, which is easy enough to stick to, sometimes I need an anti-dandruff shampoo (like this Sunday), and sometimes I need the Nizoral 2% (it's been ages). But other than that, it's *simple* enough.

embee
January 7th, 2017, 07:45 AM
Benign Neglect is my routine. No trouble at all. Wash if absolutely necessary (not much now, I'm either WO or NW/SO) brush/comb morning and night and put into my day bun or night braid. Easy peasy. :) Cheap too. Much much easier and cheaper than fussing with "a style" or going to the salon for trims and cuts, now that's expensive and time consuming.

Deborah
January 7th, 2017, 04:13 PM
Some of us like to use lots of steps in hair care, others of us are pretty minimal in what we choose to do. I wash my hair once per week (no conditioner) and end with a Citric Acid dissolved in water rinse. That's it. Most every day I put it up in a bun and forget about it.

I'm sure mine is easier than short hair care.