Need help managing/caring for longer lengths, getting frustrated

[hamilton]

Hello everyone, this may be a bit longwinded. I am a 27 yo guy who decided long hair was something I should experience after being a high and tight type for essentially my whole life. I set a goal of waist length as that seemed like a length where I could really say I had looong hair and have slowly been working towards that for a few years now. One of my sisters was initially pretty helpful with general advice and I have also found good advice on youtube and eventually this forum. I think my hair is in pretty good shape and I have a lot of the basics down with spacing washes out a bit, using conditioner, limiting shampoo, oiling periodically, etc. I have also managed to transition to legitimate buns rather than messy/folded ponytail types and have made that my default for putting my hair up.

It has been a really fun experience so far in general but the problem is that my hair, the longer it gets now, is starting to feel like it takes a lot more time and effort to maintain. I want to continue to grow and reach my goal but I am starting to feel a bit frustrated. My sister who use to have waist length hair said she thought it got easier to take care of when it got real long and there seems to be a number of similar comments on here, so I guess I wonder what I am missing? Perhaps I am just comparing it with a buzz cut where I didnt have to oil and comb and style etc. and so my perspective is different? Anyway, I thought I would ask for some help since other places haven't been real helpful and figure this place probably has the most expertise, plus a lot of the threads seem real encouraging which I could probably use too. Thanks

And here's a picture if that makes a difference:
https://s27.postimg.org/8j81ai98j/987509870890.jpg

[lapushka]

It has been a really fun experience so far in general but the problem is that my hair, the longer it gets now, is starting to feel like it takes a lot more time and effort to maintain. I want to continue to grow and reach my goal but I am starting to feel a bit frustrated. My sister who use to have waist length hair said she thought it got easier to take care of when it got real long and there seems to be a number of similar comments on here, so I guess I wonder what I am missing? Perhaps I am just comparing it with a buzz cut where I didnt have to oil and comb and style etc. and so my perspective is different? Anyway, I thought I would ask for some help since other places haven't been real helpful and figure this place probably has the most expertise, plus a lot of the threads seem real encouraging which I could probably use too. Thanks

It looks great! :)

Now for the length issue. For me classic is my cut-off point. Beyond that it gets too uncomfortable, with washes, with dealing with it in short. With you that might be this length. If it no longer becomes a good experience, washing, caring for the hair, try cutting a few inches back and see if you still feel that way. Don't cut it all off when that issue of "comfort" happens. It's just a signal that it's getting a *tad* too long for you.

[hamilton]

It looks great! :)

Now for the length issue. For me classic is my cut-off point. Beyond that it gets too uncomfortable, with washes, with dealing with it in short. With you that might be this length. If it no longer becomes a good experience, washing, caring for the hair, try cutting a few inches back and see if you still feel that way. Don't cut it all off when that issue of "comfort" happens. It's just a signal that it's getting a *tad* too long for you.

Thanks I have been trying to take care of it. And I guess I didnt realize looking at the threads on here that some of you feel it gets too long eventually. I hadn't really considered that and probably would have hacked it all off eventually, so thanks for pointing that out to me. Anything else you would try though? Just stick it out for a while longer? Though I feel like I need to at least try something different. I'd like to do my best to get to waist and say I reached my goal. Plus I really like some of the styles I have just recently been able to start doing well.

[lithostoic]

Your hair looks great! You will get used to caring for it. Schedule your care. Write it on the calendar days you want to oil your hair, wash it, etc. Wearing it up especially at night makes a huge difference.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Your hair looks fabulous! :)

Try making a timetable for your hair care, where this day is your wash day, this is your deep treatment or oiling day.... Get into a routine with your hair care and it won't seem nearly so bad.

Or you could try Lapushka's suggestion and do a small trim :)

You need to be happy with your hair, at least most of the time, otherwise there's no point in having it long, is there? But I'm sure you'll find a way:) Happy growing!:)

[lapushka]

Thanks I have been trying to take care of it. And I guess I didnt realize looking at the threads on here that some of you feel it gets too long eventually. I hadn't really considered that and probably would have hacked it all off eventually, so thanks for pointing that out to me. Anything else you would try though? Just stick it out for a while longer? Though I feel like I need to at least try something different. I'd like to do my best to get to waist and say I reached my goal. Plus I really like some of the styles I have just recently been able to start doing well.

Maybe join the no-trimming thread for 2017? There are 2 halves as well. I'll link the threads here for you.

The whole year of 2017!
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=139906

First half of 2017!
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=140774

Second half of 2017!
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=140775

[meteor]

It has been a really fun experience so far in general but the problem is that my hair, the longer it gets now, is starting to feel like it takes a lot more time and effort to maintain. I want to continue to grow and reach my goal but I am starting to feel a bit frustrated.

Welcome to the LHC! :cheer:
The texture of your hair is gorgeous! :D

I saw the thread title and thought I'll need to follow it for any tips I can get, because I'm super-frustrated with dealing with thickness & length, too... it just takes so much time to wash and dry and detangle now, at almost knee.

My biggest tip would be to try Scalp Only washes, when your scalp is oily but you don't have the time to deal with the length. Usually, as hair gets longer you can stretch washes a bit, so scalp-only washes can help. (E.g. try this thread: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=119848 or this: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=136047)
I start off with a braided bun (covered with 2 plastic shower caps) to wash just the hairline in the front and then undo the bun and hold the braid above my head (wrapped in plastic) with one hand, to get to the rest of the scalp. I used diluted shampoo for this - the watery product gets to every bit of scalp more easily. Then just wrap the scalp with a towel/t-shirt and it dries pretty fast.

Another thing I do to shorten full washes is condition my length while I'm already drying my scalp area. Basically, after shampooing, I put conditioner on length only and put the length inside a plastic bag. I immediately wrap a towel or t-shirt around my scalp area and then replace the towel a few minutes later. This gets the roots area dry, while I'm conditioning the length, and all I need to do is rinse the conditioner/mask from length quickly without rewetting the roots. This cuts down on overall time spent washing & drying.

I'm very happy to hear you can do buns now, as they can really reduce tangling potential, thus reducing detangling time later. Sleeping on silky smooth materials or wrapping your bun or length in a silky scarf overnight can also help reduce detangling time in the morning.

Good luck! :D And happy growing!

[Nini]

Great hair!

I get by on benign neglect mostly. I wash my hair every two or three days, shampoo, no condish. I'll occationally add some hair salve or a drop or two of some oil I've got laying around. But I've never been able to stick to anything time consuming. I just don't have it in me;)

If I were you I'd stick with the styles you like for now before cutting anything. If you still wanna cut then sure, go for it. I went from hip to ear back in fifth grade, but then I'd thought about for a year, and my hairdresser felt way worse about cutting it than I did:D I never regretted it, but it just wasn't for me, so I've never really cut since then.

[JillRenee]

You have gorgeous hair!

Have you tried braiding? I found that prevents tangles and saves time on de-tangling and combing.

[hamilton]

Your hair looks great! You will get used to caring for it. Schedule your care. Write it on the calendar days you want to oil your hair, wash it, etc. Wearing it up especially at night makes a huge difference.
Thanks I will definitely try a set schedule and see if that helps me manage better. I just started teaching myself to braid so I will try do that at night too, since up until now I had just been leaving it loose.


Your hair looks fabulous! :)

Try making a timetable for your hair care, where this day is your wash day, this is your deep treatment or oiling day.... Get into a routine with your hair care and it won't seem nearly so bad.
You need to be happy with your hair, at least most of the time, otherwise there's no point in having it long, is there? But I'm sure you'll find a way:) Happy growing!:)
Thanks! I'll give that a try. And I agree with the part about enjoying it. Hopefully these suggestions will help me tip the balance back a bit.


Maybe join the no-trimming thread for 2017? There are 2 halves as well. I'll link the threads here for you.

Thanks, I think I will.


Welcome to the LHC! :cheer:
The texture of your hair is gorgeous! :D

I saw the thread title and thought I'll need to follow it for any tips I can get, because I'm super-frustrated with dealing with thickness & length, too... it just takes so much time to wash and dry and detangle now, at almost knee.

My biggest tip would be to try Scalp Only washes, when your scalp is oily but you don't have the time to deal with the length. Usually, as hair gets longer you can stretch washes a bit, so scalp-only washes can help. (E.g. try this thread: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=119848 or this: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=136047)
I start off with a braided bun (covered with 2 plastic shower caps) to wash just the hairline in the front and then undo the bun and hold the braid above my head (wrapped in plastic) with one hand, to get to the rest of the scalp. I used diluted shampoo for this - the watery product gets to every bit of scalp more easily. Then just wrap the scalp with a towel/t-shirt and it dries pretty fast.

Another thing I do to shorten full washes is condition my length while I'm already drying my scalp area. Basically, after shampooing, I put conditioner on length only and put the length inside a plastic bag. I immediately wrap a towel or t-shirt around my scalp area and then replace the towel a few minutes later. This gets the roots area dry, while I'm conditioning the length, and all I need to do is rinse the conditioner/mask from length quickly without rewetting the roots. This cuts down on overall time spent washing & drying.

I'm very happy to hear you can do buns now, as they can really reduce tangling potential, thus reducing detangling time later. Sleeping on silky smooth materials or wrapping your bun or length in a silky scarf overnight can also help reduce detangling time in the morning.

Good luck! :D And happy growing!
Thanks! I'll definitely try the scalp only washes since I feel I need to wash more frequently with exercise and that is one of the things that was getting frustrating since washing long hair does take time. I have a silk pillow case but I'll try putting it up at night too. And buns have been great, plus I think they look better than messy ones. My sister even gave me a hair stick for Christmas, though I haven't quite got eh hang go it yet.


Great hair!

I get by on benign neglect mostly. I wash my hair every two or three days, shampoo, no condish. I'll occationally add some hair salve or a drop or two of some oil I've got laying around. But I've never been able to stick to anything time consuming. I just don't have it in me;)

If I were you I'd stick with the styles you like for now before cutting anything. If you still wanna cut then sure, go for it. I went from hip to ear back in fifth grade, but then I'd thought about for a year, and my hairdresser felt way worse about cutting it than I did:D I never regretted it, but it just wasn't for me, so I've never really cut since then.
Thanks! I'll try figure out if I can minimize some stuff. And I'll definitely not cut anything until I've given everything a good try.

[hamilton]

You have gorgeous hair!

Have you tried braiding? I found that prevents tangles and saves time on de-tangling and combing.

Thanks! Just started teaching myself to braid recently, but don't quite have it down yet. Definitely will put it into use once I am capable though.

[Nique1202]

SilVousPlaits (https://www.youtube.com/user/silvousplaits') on YouTube is doing a fantastic braid technique tutorial series. Once you get the basics down she also has a playlist (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHZvUpJ8tQdv5JGZzctwht98hY9V7aapv) with some great style tutorials intended for men, based on characters like the dwarves from Lord of the Rings and some of the men on Vikings. Finding something different to do with your hair, especially if it keeps it out of sight and out of mind for the most part, can really help if you want to ignore the annoyance factor. Good luck!

[Ophidian]

I definitely second (third?) the braiding suggestion. It feels like wrestling an octopus in the beginning but once you get the hang of it it becomes second nature. Then it's contained and you don't have to worry about detangling like you do if it's down. My brother has hip-length hair and he keeps it braided pretty much constantly. Hair sticks are awesome too. Again there's a learning curve but once you get the technique down it's super fast and you can get a comfortable hold all day.

I've had both waist length hair and a buzz cut and a lot of lengths in between. There is definitely nothing like a buzz in terms of upkeep but I think once you find ways of dealing with longer hair that work for you and your lifestyle it can be just as straightforward. And if you still feel like it's just too much hair you can always trim it back.

[hamilton]

Finding something different to do with your hair, especially if it keeps it out of sight and out of mind for the most part, can really help if you want to ignore the annoyance factor. Good luck!
Thanks! I'll look into that as soon as I get the basics down. Variety is definitely a plus of having long hair.


I've had both waist length hair and a buzz cut and a lot of lengths in between. There is definitely nothing like a buzz in terms of upkeep but I think once you find ways of dealing with longer hair that work for you and your lifestyle it can be just as straightforward. And if you still feel like it's just too much hair you can always trim it back.

Braiding is high on my list of skills to get down, especially after a bunch of people recommended it. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it with practice. Hopefully I can work out a good routine and get use to things, but its good to here from someone who has also had very short hair that it's definitely manageable.

[trolleypup]

Growing out from short = growing out layers, and layers extend the awkward stage. I know when I was around your length my hair was still annoying as hell, and I hadn't figured out buns yet (Thanks LHC!) However, it DOES get easier...or at least it got easier for me, I'm less wavy than you. I think around this length I went to using ponytails...that got me to around classic where I found LHC.

Now, I mostly live in my usual single stick bun, or down. Routine is pretty much benign neglect...I'm too lazy to do anything fancy. Washing is about once a week...and when there are instances of exercise in that time, well, the hair dries and goes back up in the bun. Good luck finding an easy routine.

[truepeacenik]

Hamilton, fwiw, your hair looks better than mine did at that length.

That length was problematic for me, but two inches/four months later, it was like the clouds parted and angels sang in A.
Suddenly, I could bun, and all the odd suggestions worked.

Trolley, are all men's cuts layered? Aside from the Phishhead bob?
Growing out layers is no fun. But you learn skills.

If so, micro trimming might allow layers to catch up.

[Zebra Fish]

You will find threads where more members said that at some point in between the length apl -waist (depending on the thickness and texture) there was an awkward phase that was really annoying. You can endure through it and try get a next comfortable longer length or try cutting a little bit a time till you get to a comfortable length. You can always cut, so maybe if you already got to here, and your hair looks beautiful, try going through the phase and see whether waist will suit you. As far as for braiding, I'm a complete idiot for that. I can do just a plain english braid (that I learned doing in elementary school) and can't get passed that -.- So, just be patient, you will learn it :)

[lapushka]

SilVousPlaits (https://www.youtube.com/user/silvousplaits') on YouTube is doing a fantastic braid technique tutorial series. Once you get the basics down she also has a playlist (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHZvUpJ8tQdv5JGZzctwht98hY9V7aapv) with some great style tutorials intended for men, based on characters like the dwarves from Lord of the Rings and some of the men on Vikings. Finding something different to do with your hair, especially if it keeps it out of sight and out of mind for the most part, can really help if you want to ignore the annoyance factor. Good luck!

Seconding this YT channel. She is doing a series now on basic skills, great to binge-watch. She does great styles for men.

[Flipgirl24]

Don't take this the wrong way but guys always have nice long hair. Not fair! Your hair is awesome! It looks like you take very good care of it. Would you be willing to add some long layers? The reason I'm suggesting that is to reduce the weight of your hair so it doesn't seem like a lot to care for. Not short layers but maybe have the shortest layer below your chin. This way you can still put it up. If you can get away with washing it less, use a high quality conditioner to keep it moisturized. I think if you use good quality products, you won't have to do so much upkeep.

[hanne jensen]

hamilton, you have fabulous hair. Have you considered man buns? They are quite the thing now here in Europe. I'm sure that there are some You Tube how to videos.

As you can see, there are gentlemen here with very long hair. There is also a thread in the Mane forum called Gentlemen star your postings.

Good luck and happy growing!

[Of the Fae]

Hello everyone, this may be a bit longwinded. I am a 27 yo guy who decided long hair was something I should experience after being a high and tight type for essentially my whole life. I set a goal of waist length as that seemed like a length where I could really say I had looong hair and have slowly been working towards that for a few years now. One of my sisters was initially pretty helpful with general advice and I have also found good advice on youtube and eventually this forum. I think my hair is in pretty good shape and I have a lot of the basics down with spacing washes out a bit, using conditioner, limiting shampoo, oiling periodically, etc. I have also managed to transition to legitimate buns rather than messy/folded ponytail types and have made that my default for putting my hair up.

It has been a really fun experience so far in general but the problem is that my hair, the longer it gets now, is starting to feel like it takes a lot more time and effort to maintain. I want to continue to grow and reach my goal but I am starting to feel a bit frustrated. My sister who use to have waist length hair said she thought it got easier to take care of when it got real long and there seems to be a number of similar comments on here, so I guess I wonder what I am missing? Perhaps I am just comparing it with a buzz cut where I didnt have to oil and comb and style etc. and so my perspective is different? Anyway, I thought I would ask for some help since other places haven't been real helpful and figure this place probably has the most expertise, plus a lot of the threads seem real encouraging which I could probably use too. Thanks

And here's a picture if that makes a difference:
https://s27.postimg.org/8j81ai98j/987509870890.jpg

That is some absolutely beautiful hair you have. It looks really healthy too.
Maybe it's not your thing, but have you tried braiding it during the day? This has been a time saver for me because I need to detangle a lot less in the mornings and evenings, and sometimes one braided updo will hold multiple days.
I am currently at waist and I've noticed that the updo's become easier. In that sence I could say that maintenance will be easier when your hair gets longer, because the options for well holding updo's will increase in number. So yes, I would agree with your sister!

[lapushka]

Don't take this the wrong way but guys always have nice long hair. Not fair! Your hair is awesome! It looks like you take very good care of it. Would you be willing to add some long layers? The reason I'm suggesting that is to reduce the weight of your hair so it doesn't seem like a lot to care for. Not short layers but maybe have the shortest layer below your chin. This way you can still put it up. If you can get away with washing it less, use a high quality conditioner to keep it moisturized. I think if you use good quality products, you won't have to do so much upkeep.

Maybe it's because they "kerfuffle" with it less. :lol: More benign neglect, and simpler routines, I think. ;) :)

[hamilton]

Thanks for the many compliments and for the advice. Ill hold out for a while and see if I can;t make some of the recommended changes to my routine and improve my skills for putting my hair up.

[zashin66]

Love your hair! Kind if a golden brown. Reminds me of a grizzly bear:waving:

I too have hit a " can't-do-anything-with-it" stage. Mine is just turning to tailbone length and it seems like everything wants to eat my ends for breakfast. I'm trying to figure out how to survive to classic length. I'm hoping it will then be easier to put it out of the way. My hair is too thick to manage the nautilis bun so I will keep searching until I find my "easy spot" again. :brickwall