Feeling shy about wearing hair up

[MimiKeki]

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing well, had a great Christmas, and will also have a Happy New Year.
I haven't posted on the LHC for a while, and lost focus on my long hair journey.
My hair is at hip-length, and I thought it would be great to join the No Trimming club 2017, to bring my focus back to my goals.

I've decided that I need to start wearing it up to prevent the damage that my ends get. I've finally learned how to french and dutch braid, so I thought it would be the perfect time to neaten up these styles, and wear them for work, and when I'm around the house. My only issue is that I am shy to wear it up.. I think, because I am not used to it, and because I've always had my hair down day-to-day. It's a security thing for me. My other issue is the fact that I have old chickenpox scars on my forehead, and I know that these styles will draw attention to them. I don't know what to do, whether to get a fringe cut or not. Do you ladies have any pics that I could see of your braids with fringes/bangs? Perhaps it will inspire me (No doubt!) I used to have a side fringe, but I am so lazy, and I know that I will have to wash it more often.. But when needs must!

One things for certain, if I want to start avoiding damage at the ends, I do need to start wearing it up. I just need to feel confident about it.

[MsPharaohMoan]

I don't really have any pics to inspire you, but I remember a gentleman on the forum once feeling shy about wearing his hair up as well. As I recall, he started off wearing a bun around the house, then graduated to going on short errands outside, and slowly worked his way up to going to work with a bun.

[Nique1202]

It may be time to be honest with yourself about how visible the scars are in the first place. Chances are, they're not as bad as you think they are, because very few people sit six inches away from your face where you might place a mirror when looking at yourself. We are our own worst critics because we look at ourselves practically under a microscope and don't see the bigger picture.

If you stand 2-3 feet away from a mirror, how visible are the scars to you? That's generally how far people stay from each other in public spaces so that's as close as most people will generally get, right? Are they discoloured, raised, extremely sunken, or otherwise extremely obvious from a distance? If they still make you uncomfortable, I'm sure there are makeup tutorials out there that can help you with product suggestions and application tips to cover them.

[Adorkable One]

I used to be shy about this too. I used to ONLY wear my hair up at home, so I associated it with a private, frumpy image I would never leave the house in. In fact, the reason I decided to buy hair sticks, has because I felt it was a way to put my hair up and still look polished. I also generally hate how I look with my hair up. Being overweight, I have a shorter, wider neck, and I don't think a bun looked good on me for that.

But, my desire to protect my hair was more important. Friction has been the hardest thing on my hair. All it took was just doing it often enough for it to finally become normal. I eased into putting my hair up. I started with just braiding my hair and doing ponytails...and then worked my way to hair buns once I got my hair sticks. I even got compliments on my sticks a few times, which helped a lot. Lol. So I guess my advice is to just do it. The things we're worried about aren't obvious to others. People will probably compliment you on the change.

[Robot Ninja]

If you're not used to looking at yourself with your hair up, you might think you look weird. You don't. It just takes a bit of time to get used to a new look. It certainly takes less time than growing out bangs does, so I'd suggest giving it some time before you decide you don't like how you look and get bangs. (Note that I am not anti-bangs, I have them myself, but it is less lazy than no bangs, especially if you have to style them or wash them more often, and I am also pro-laziness.)

[Impulsive]

I also have chicken pox scars on my forehead. To me, they are like a giant neon flashing sign on my forehead and I've always been anxious about them. BUT ... I had to point them out to my SO. In fact he had to get very close to my face before he could perceive them even with my pointing right at them. I've been together with my SO for almost 15 years now and for about 10 of those years I thought he was just too polite to mention the scars, but it turns out, he hadn't even noticed them. I've felt a lot better about my scars ever since I talked with my SO about them. It was a shock to realize that what was a mountain to me didn't even register on his radar. And his feelings for me were not altered one bit. It really helped me to move on.
I wanted to share this because I feel we've had similar experiences and I just wanted to let you know that it can get better. I think people often magnify what they perceive as negative aspects of themselves until all they can see are the negatives, and it doesn't have to be that way. It took me a long time to learn this. Hopefully, you learn faster than I do: Chances are good that other people won't even notice your scars. And even if they do, so what? The scars do not alter your character. You are not less kind or good because you have scars. If people make a problem out of the scars, it is a problem with them and not with you. Just take a deep breath, and let it go. And wear you hair however you want.

[Arctic]

I agree that most people won't even register them, and I will add that even if they will, most of those won't give them a second thought (they might vaguely notice them but in a millisecond their mind/eyes move on to other things and they forget the scars). We all have "imperfections" - and very often those give us character, they make us who we are!

I can understand feeling awkward when first starting to put your hair up, but you'll get used to it :) Try different styles, you will find that some of them look better on you and some less so - stick with the better ones most of the time.

I don't think hair styles will draw attention to your scars - at most they make them slightly more likely to be seen. There's a difference there. Upstyles will however draw attention to your sparkling eyes and pretty smile :)

You probably can also use some make up trick on your scars, but don't feel like you have to cover/camouflage them because you don't. Also if you really want to make them as less the center of attention, draw that attention elsewhere: eye glasses, lipstick, earrings, scarf, sparkly hair pin... And to tell the truth, scars do not equal as "bad skin" - one of the most beautiful, perfect skin I have known was on a person who happened to have few scars on her face. The scars took nothing away from the "whole package."

Bangs/fringe you mention is of course an option - sorry I don't have much photos with fringes though. I have some photos in my blog with face framing layers and IIRC even some with bangs (maybe from year 2010 or so?) but they are mostly of the back of my head. (I love the effect of face framing layers when wearing my hair up, and can really recommend them! Much easier to get a softer look with them than without, and they are long enough to be pushed away from my face too.)

Anyway, long story short, please toss the insecurities about your skin, few perceived flaws are not the end of the world and there will be plenty of styles that will be flattering to your face! Your face is much more than some small details. Have fun and enjoy your new hair styles!

[lapushka]

There's a whole braid thread you can view :)
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=45350

[MimiKeki]

Thank you so much for all your great suggestions, each reply was so helpful in different ways. I think I'm just going to have to one day decide 'Right, today I'm wearing a braid'. I think I will use a simple side braid to start. You're right, Ninja - I am after the ultimate lazy approach, which is the reason I've had my reservation about getting bangs. I think it's better for me not to get them for now :P
Thanks for sharing your experience with your scars, Impulsive. It means alot to me. It must have been such a surprise for you to realise 10 years into your relationship that your SO had no clue about your scars. I guess we really are our own worst critic.
Ooh, I'll have a peruse at the braid thread, thanks Lapushka. I will put the fringe/bangs idea on hold for now, and just get used to having my hair up as it is.