So frustrated. Super thickies, advice?

[DizzyGinger]

I'm so upset with my hair right now that it's laughable. I've been dreaming of getting this far for years and I'm really discouraged.

I've had pixie cuts and very short bobs for about 7 years. Before that it was mostly APL/mid-back. Only once did it get to waist/hip in my mid-teens. I know hair goes through changes and apparently mine has gone through more than I realized.

Hairdressers have consistently commented on being surprised just how much hair I have. The strands themselves are thick but primarily it's the bulk (kind of funny for a natural redhead as we're supposed to have the least amount of hairs overall!). It was also mildly wavy. I was very surprised, then, to do the hair typing test and find it very wavy and even big loose curls in spots. It turns out that in addition I seem to have even MORE hair!

My hair isn't even APL yet. Probably a few inches still. Yet it is now this thick unruly poof that I don't know how to work with. I don't know how to wash it. Standing under the shower, the water takes so long to penetrate that first canopy. Shampoo (cowashing usually) is a mess because I can't seem to work it in *everywhere*. I end only wearing it in a messy bun all the time. Bobby pins fly out of it at will. Combs break. The innards of brushes pop out. It seems no claw clip is big enough to contain it all.

I have had enough. I don't know what to do. I just need advice. For those whose hair is very very thick (in terms of volume and quantity) how do you manage to clean it, style it, and basically deal with it? Give me hope that I can reach waist length. Or should I adjust my goals? I definitely will not cut it. I've worked really hard to get this far. But every other day I long for the convenience of a bob. :(

EDIT: I forgot to mention that a huge tipping point for me is trying to figure out how to touch up my henna roots and reach every single section. So anyone with similar issues with henna would be great as well!

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Hi, embrace the hair you have. As sometimes with age hair gets less. And a lot of people wish they had thick hair.

I think the last I had hair that short was 2011 before joining LHC.
The best I can say is patience is your friend. As your hair gets longer it gets easier. For me past BSL is great for my curls. Also try a leave-in or the LOC styling method. Good luck and enjoy your hair.

EDIT: I used to have a lot of hair and have broken many huge claw grips trying to keep my hair up and out of the way.

[lapushka]

You might get something from reading this thread (even though it is for F haired, there are full iii's on there):
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=24724

I used to henna the same way you would apply chemical dye. You start with a center part (not down the back). Then you section with a rat-tail comb and do both sides, section, coat both sides, etc. Until you've done one side of the head, then swipe it all the other way, and start doing the other side, then when that's done, you section the back horizontally. It's not that difficult to do.

[Nique1202]

Since the thickness will stop you doing much in the way of buns (though gibson tucks can be really nice if you need something formal), french or dutch braids (single or double, depending on your preference, or maybe even a crown braid with practice) are going to be your best option for styling, I think. Your hair's definitely long enough to hold in them, and they'll keep everything tidy and out of your way. And, unless you find that your shorter hairs work themselves too loose for your tastes, you can basically throw your hair in a french braid and leave it there from one wash to the next, since it's comfortable, flat, and generally stays pretty secure.

As for washing, are you confident enough to change a showerhead, or do you know someone who is? Having a handheld shower head will definitely help you get the water all the way through, especially if you get a water-saving model with a massage setting, as those tend to make a gentle pulsing stream in my experience. Handheld lets you aim from any angle for a much better rinse. Having better water distribution in your hair may also help you to distribute your co-wash or shampoo better. I certainly find that my shampoo is easier to work in when my hair is fully saturated.

[lithostoic]

Sectioned washing, handheld shower heads with pressure settings, and don't be afraid to use a lot of shampoo. I have much less hair than you and still have trouble getting to my scalp in some areas.

[spidermom]

According to your thickness designation of ii/iii, mine is as thick as yours. What has worked best for me in terms of getting shampoo to all areas of my scalp is to use a bottle with a pointed spout. I put some water in there, maybe 1/4 cup (I don't measure it), then a generous glob of shampoo, shake well, then I can push the spout through the hair to my scalp and apply in stripes from one side of my scalp to the other. Then massage through like I'm finger-combing over all areas of my scalp.

I have a hand-held shower, which definitely helps, but I haven't always. Just standing under the flow of water and lifting my hair with my hands so that water can flow through it rather than over the top of it works, too.

[DizzyGinger]

You might get something from reading this thread (even though it is for F haired, there are full iii's on there):
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=24724

I used to henna the same way you would apply chemical dye. You start with a center part (not down the back). Then you section with a rat-tail comb and do both sides, section, coat both sides, etc. Until you've done one side of the head, then swipe it all the other way, and start doing the other side, then when that's done, you section the back horizontally. It's not that difficult to do.

I've been doing the henna that way and it's been difficult. But I might need more practice. It takes forever to do partings all across my head and my arms get tired lol. And I can't do the back. I can somewhat but never been able to figure out how to really get back there. My husband won't touch my henna up for me sadly but I wonder if I could get him to only do the back, hmm.

Nique1202, dutch braids are a favorite of mine and I need to do them more! I forgot about them. I do actually have a handheld shower head and it has the pulsing stream. Don't know why I didn't think to use that!!

spidermom, that is really helpful. What a great idea. I'm going to try that!

[littlestarface]

How I do henna is I do a sort of half ups of my hair with the bulk of my hair up and out of the way but only leave little pieces of my back hair down then I bring them over my shoulders and apply the paste to my scalp at the back and smoosh it in with my head down, then I smooth it down my hair and apply more and repeat for each section of hair.

What helps is sectioning all the hair before you get that mud in there and making sure to smoosh it into the scalp first, then after you have all your length n such covered in mud, get more mud smoosh it on your scalp again making sure everything is wet with henna if you feel dry get more henna and smoosh. That's why I prefer to do henna without gloves so I can feel dry parts but I end up with bright orange hands lol.

This is what I do and it's easy for me.

[DizzyGinger]

How I do henna is I do a sort of half ups of my hair with the bulk of my hair up and out of the way but only leave little pieces of my back hair down then I bring them over my shoulders and apply the paste to my scalp at the back and smoosh it in with my head down, then I smooth it down my hair and apply more and repeat for each section of hair.

What helps is sectioning all the hair before you get that mud in there and making sure to smoosh it into the scalp first, then after you have all your length n such covered in mud, get more mud smoosh it on your scalp again making sure everything is wet with henna if you feel dry get more henna and smoosh. That's why I prefer to do henna without gloves so I can feel dry parts but I end up with bright orange hands lol.

This is what I do and it's easy for me.

The hard part is not getting my length in it. You mentioned including the length but I don't want my henna any darker. :/ thanks though

[ephemeri]

There is a henna technique where you section your hair into braids, several I imagine, then smoosh the henna mud into the parts between the braids. Then glob some more on and work it through the base of each braid, at the scalp, so that you cover the roots all over. Your keep your lengths out of the henna and just get your roots. I haven't done it this way but others have with great success.

I do have thick hair and do it the way lapushka mentioned -- making small parts along my scalp at the top, doing one hemisphere at a time. I usually do it with damp hair as I find it's easier for me to section that way. Are you doing it with damp hair or dry? And as for the back, I honestly just wing it. I take the squeeze bottle full of henna and just run it along my scalp everywhere at the back of my head, then use my other hand to smoosh it around. I just try to run the bottle everywhere and hope for the best!

As far as washing goes, have you tried CWC? I've noticed that when I coat my lengths with a silicone-free conditioner first, it sort of makes them behave so that I can focus on my scalp. I just take a bit of shampoo, rub it over both of my hands, and cup my hands in the spray of the shower to dilute it a bit, then slap them on my head. I use my fingertips to massage the shampoo into my scalp. Even with thick hair, it's not too bad because you're not dealing with the lengths, just the roots and scalp. Rinse, squeeze out the length a little, then I condition with a LOT of conditioner.

As for styling, I've been wearing my hair up/back for several months while it grows and I have to say, once you hit APL, your life will become a LOT easier. Shoulder length was difficult. Now what I do is I generally just dry oil my hair (coconut oil is best it seems, but it also likes almond and grapeseed) and I usually wear it with an accent braid or two, or like a dutch braid 'headband', then a bun in the back. If I'm at home, my hair is often in twin english braids. Braids are a lifesaver for my thick, generally unruly hair as it acts like a straightening technique.

Finding a moisturizing leave in that provides slip may be helpful to you. Have you tried Kinky Curly Knot Today? My hair doesn't like it alone and I don't have tangle problems so I don't use it anymore but it's gotten great reviews by many. It's a leave in and a detangler.

Sorry this is all over the place, I hope some of this info helps!

[Andthetalltrees]

My hair is incredibly thick, coarse and the same length as yours! I live in an old house that has a deep bathtub I use to wash my hair because I never feel like shower gets it clean enough or everything out of it. When putting shampoo in I split it into 4 sections down the middle and across the back. I can't do any sort of buns until hip, My hair is either braided or down for now.

[Hairkay]

I get my hair washed by having it in sections. I do this with plaits/braids. I use a hand held shower or sometimes take a soak in the bath. Sometimes I'll use a small jug and bucket that works best for removing henna before I put the shower on. The only bun I do is a lwb and most times it a braided one. I generally keep my hair managed in plaits/braids letting it loose on some spring/summer weekends.

It may be worth your while to experiment washing your hair sectioned.

[Tassledown]

Mostly just going to reiterate that at least for me having longer hair has helped tame the bulk IMMENSELY. Having longer hair helps keep my buns in (I don't think I could do a decent pinned bun until midback.) What kind of hair pins are you using? I have managed to make amish hair pins (or that style; they're generics) work to hold my hair up, but that's at WL for me. Otherwise I lived in French or Dutch braids for a very long time as well.

As for washing, I tend to have to do a lot of work with my hands to get through my hair in a shower. I like the bath for similar reasons to other people, but even that requires me to run my hands along my scalp to get it washed. I only CO wash so I can't comment on shampooing issues but yeah. It takes a very long time. Best of luck with it all!

[Alex Lou]

I'm also a redhead with coarse, thick, unruly hair that breaks brushes and hairdressers are surprised by. I'm not sure I have any advice about washing. I usually just end up using a lot of shampoo while parting my hair in different places until I'm convinced I've found every spot. I would suggest giving spin pins a try when your hair gets longer. At SL, you can't do much and that particular length may be where much of your frustration is stemming from.

I've had a positive change growing out my hair this time vs previous times. And that is that I have damaged my hair to such a degree that 2/3+ of the hair has broken off. The result is a gradual taper that has a much nicer shape, imo, and makes it more manageable as well. My ends are a fraction of the thickness of my hair up top but still about the thickness of some people with i hair. I imagine the same results could be gotten with extensive and skillful use of thinning scissors, which is something I had been considering trying in the future. But now I've decided to try keratin straightening, so we'll see.

[Simsy]

You sound very similar to me, right down to the complaint about too much hair. Best ideas I can offer...

Showering-help the water along a bit. Lift sections out of the way, run your fingers through it to give the water a way in; and get used to 10-15 min showers when you're washing your hair. It's just the reality of thick hair in my experience

Styles-braids and bandanas were my best friend from ear length right down to waist, when I was finally able to do a nautalis. Braids to contain and compress the mass, bandana/scarf/hats to restrain any bits I missed. My FIL still reckons he didn't see my hair for nearly 6 years.

Layers might help in the short term to thin the hair out a little. I have also bought a pair of thinning shears and used them to trim where I feel the worst of the bulk is. It does get easier. Once I had past bsl, my hair became so much more agreeable.

Good luck

[Ligeia Noire]

Of course you can get it longer if you want, my usual ponytail circumference is around 7 inches it can get higher if I let it hair dry and wear it down and also in summer with new growth and I am almost at my knees. I wet my hair pretty well before applying shampoo otherwise it wont lather so well but I as I always wear it braided I found that it does not get poofy so it has almost no wurls which helps getting it wet way quicker, also I apply a gooooood amount of conditioner before even attempt to comb, good thing I only wash my hair once per week, otherwise my conditioner would run away in a month... also I found that I cannot deal with my hair without silicones, without the slip it provides me I could not even get the comb through it. Also, I always comb it while wet, very carefully and by sections of course, otherwise it just mats and it will break more. Another thing that helps a lot, not wearing it down, or at least braid it, otherwise it will be a mess. So yeah, leave- in and keeping it contained is a must have if you want to grow it long.