Suggestions needed for very tangly hair

[divinedobbie]

Haven't been as active in this part of the forum this year because I've just been letting it grow and not worrying about it, but now unfortunately I have to.

I have to wear my hair out of my way every day due to the nature of my work, either in a pony, braid or bun. I've done this for years and it's never been an issue but for the past month when my hair is in a pony, it works itself into a rats nest of tangles at about shoulder length (my hair is almost at waist). Even in a braid, it seems fine but as soon as I try to undo the braid I unveil a major knot that gets worse the harder I try. My hair however doest seem to tangle if I wear it down, even to bed. And the few times I've worn it up on my days off, I didn't notice it tangled like it does when I go to work (but I've also never been walking, bending, etc for the 9 hours I do at work).

I have tried untangling with various conditioners in the shower and most times it's harder than working through in with my fingers when dry - and there have been times I spent two hours doing this. I have tried switching to a few different products including going back to my holy grail conditioner. I've tried leave ins. I have tried cool blow-drying. I have clarified multiple times (the shampoo is also a chelator).

So I guess the question everyone's wondering why I don't just wear a bun everyday since it's more protective anyway. Well, I always shower the night before and let my hair air dry before going to bed. I simply don't have the time at all in the mornings and I do wash my hair every day, and that will not change. The straight sleek texture really compacts so immensely when dry, the bun is tiny and I'm embarrassed to wear it out. So if I want to wear a bun, I have to spray a bunch of leave in and put my hair in a bun as soon as I get out the shower and sleep on it and that creates texture and hold as well as volume. But, I have a really hard time sleeping with a bun and believe me I've tried to get used to it.

I'm getting really frustrated with my hair and am thinking of cutting my hair off but don't want to unless Ive exhausted all options.

[divinedobbie]

Concerning any hair damage, I do have a lot of splits and have been growing out layers/other bad decisions on the bottom of my hair but I trimmed for two years to get rid of most of it. It's a lot better than it was in the past and I never got these massive rats nest's even then. And the nest happens a lot higher up than the damage unless it's travelling up and leaving the ends alone.

[Borgessa]

Have you tried putting a bit of coconut oil on the length before showering to help detangle? That would be something I'd try.

[Obsidian]

Do you use cones? I would try a coney serum applied to damp hair, see if that might help reduce the tangles.

Would a braided bun look bigger? There really isn't anything wrong with tiny buns though.

My mom has waist length hair and her bun is about the size of my fist or smaller, still looks good. Use petite hair toys, flexis are a good choice.

[Arctic]

Have you been wearing turtlenecks, wooly scarfs and other winter gear more in the past months (at work, on your way to work)?

And if you don't like buns, maybe some twisted styles would work. Or the good old sock bun.

[lapushka]

Why not sleep with a pineapple bun (it sits on the very edge of your forehead); that probably will be fine to sleep with.

I'm a iii, and I have a very tiny bun (my hair compacts and is layered) - hey, what the heck is wrong with a tiny bun. Rock it, girl. I do. ;)

[PixieP]

Do you use cones? I would try a coney serum applied to damp hair, see if that might help reduce the tangles.

Would a braided bun look bigger? There really isn't anything wrong with tiny buns though.

My mom has waist length hair and her bun is about the size of my fist or smaller, still looks good. Use petite hair toys, flexis are a good choice.

I'd love a fist sized bun! Mine is half that...

[Annalouise]

One hair style that worked for me when I had an active job for 8 hours was to put a high ponytail, and then braid down it. That way the hair is dangling in the air and its not rubbing on anything.
My guess is your hair products, shampoo & conditioner are not right for your hair. Tangling is related to dryness. You are using a sulphate shampoo daily which is drying. And then you are putting conditioners with silicones on top of dry hair which will make the dryness worse.

Try reversing this scenario by using a gentle daily sulphate free shampoo, and a cone free rich conditioner. Do WCC, or a deep condition at the end with a shower cap. You have to get moisture into your hair. That would be my guess. My hair gets tangly to the degree that it becomes dry. :flower:

[lapushka]

One hair style that worked for me when I had an active job for 8 hours was to put a high ponytail, and then braid down it. That way the hair is dangling in the air and its not rubbing on anything.
My guess is your hair products, shampoo & conditioner are not right for your hair. Tangling is related to dryness. You are using a sulphate shampoo daily which is drying. And then you are putting conditioners with silicones on top of dry hair which will make the dryness worse.

Try reversing this scenario by using a gentle daily sulphate free shampoo, and a cone free rich conditioner. Do WCC, or a deep condition at the end with a shower cap. You have to get moisture into your hair. That would be my guess. My hair gets tangly to the degree that it becomes dry. :flower:

I do that too, and I have no issues. :shrug: I think it's "easy" to *attack* the sulfate shampoo and the silicone conditioner, they're easy targets. But it's likely not that.

[Cg]

I'd love a fist sized bun! Mine is half that...

Bah. Think of a 5-year-old's fist. Then yours (and mine) would be easily fist-sized!

[proo]

Perhaps try a paranda?
Down or bunned up it'll protect and provide volume.

[mizukitty]

Sock buns! They can transform even the puniest buns into magnificent ones. As for the tangles, have they never been an issue for you in the past? Did you switch hair products recently? Tangly hair for the most part means it's dry. I suggest EVOO with some light heat for a while before showering. It makes my hair really soft and easy to work with.

[PixieP]

Uhm I didn't come here just to whine about bun size XD have you tried vinegar rinses? My hair has gotten less tangle-prone with a weekly apple cider vinegar rinse :)


Bah. Think of a 5-year-old's fist. Then yours (and mine) would be easily fist-sized!

Haha, true!

[Deborah]

When I used to wear ponytails they always caused more tangles than any other hairstyle, even just wearing it down. A nice bun or French twist is much more protective of the hair, and I think they are prettier as well.

[Llama]

Do you use cones? I would try a coney serum applied to damp hair, see if that might help reduce the tangles.

Would a braided bun look bigger? There really isn't anything wrong with tiny buns though.

My mom has waist length hair and her bun is about the size of my fist or smaller, still looks good. Use petite hair toys, flexis are a good choice.


Fist sized is not small!

[Dark40]

Haven't been as active in this part of the forum this year because I've just been letting it grow and not worrying about it, but now unfortunately I have to.

I have to wear my hair out of my way every day due to the nature of my work, either in a pony, braid or bun. I've done this for years and it's never been an issue but for the past month when my hair is in a pony, it works itself into a rats nest of tangles at about shoulder length (my hair is almost at waist). Even in a braid, it seems fine but as soon as I try to undo the braid I unveil a major knot that gets worse the harder I try. My hair however doest seem to tangle if I wear it down, even to bed. And the few times I've worn it up on my days off, I didn't notice it tangled like it does when I go to work (but I've also never been walking, bending, etc for the 9 hours I do at work).

I have tried untangling with various conditioners in the shower and most times it's harder than working through in with my fingers when dry - and there have been times I spent two hours doing this. I have tried switching to a few different products including going back to my holy grail conditioner. I've tried leave ins. I have tried cool blow-drying. I have clarified multiple times (the shampoo is also a chelator).

So I guess the question everyone's wondering why I don't just wear a bun everyday since it's more protective anyway. Well, I always shower the night before and let my hair air dry before going to bed. I simply don't have the time at all in the mornings and I do wash my hair every day, and that will not change. The straight sleek texture really compacts so immensely when dry, the bun is tiny and I'm embarrassed to wear it out. So if I want to wear a bun, I have to spray a bunch of leave in and put my hair in a bun as soon as I get out the shower and sleep on it and that creates texture and hold as well as volume. But, I have a really hard time sleeping with a bun and believe me I've tried to get used to it.

I'm getting really frustrated with my hair and am thinking of cutting my hair off but don't want to unless Ive exhausted all options.

You can try this detangling product by, "Mane and Tail." You can purchase this from anyone of your local beauty supply stores. My mom has BSL hair, and her hair gets tangled after every wash, and also matted, and she uses this product after every wash, and really works her wonders with detanglation!!! It is also excellent for damaged hair and split ends as well!!!