PDA

View Full Version : Hairdresser guilt advice please



MegHan-Solo
December 8th, 2016, 04:48 AM
I have had the same hairdresser my whole life, and she is really good and really lovely. She always cautions me about drastic changes and never takes off too much, sometimes I have to ask her to take off more. However, A few years ago I decided I wanted to be blonde, and after a lot of previous failings of trying it at home I asked my hairdresser to do it. She eventually relented and did it gradually by adding more and more highlights over the period of a few months. It did look lovely when it was first done. However, the maintenance was awful and I also wanted to start growing my hair and was concerned about the amount of damage the bleach was doing. Anyway, the work my hairdresser had put into it made her reluctant to cover it with brown. I went a darker blonde but my roots were so much maintenance still, and my hairdresser is quite expensive, I'm only on apprentice wage and I am saving for a house. So I stupidly dyed over it brown to make the roots less noticeable. Anyway, the colour wouldn't hold on my ends due to the damage and they just looked a horrible dry pool green, and I was paranoid about the damage travelling up my hair, so I tried to cut it myself. BIG mistake. I ended up with a wonky chunky awful looking cut. I had to fix it but I was to scared to go to my hairdresser due to the state of my hair, I know it's silly but I had already done two things she told me not to do and I got very anxious about it. So I went to another hairdresser. She cut my hair into an inverted bob with layers when I said I just wanted the worst of the damage gone and my hair evened up. So now I'm patiently waiting for it to grow out. Due to the damage still left though I am going to keep needing trims and I really want to go back to my usual hairdresser because she was so good but I feel awful, like I've seriously betrayed her. What do you guys think I should do?

Borgessa
December 8th, 2016, 05:26 AM
Tell your hairdresser you were out of town for a while and had to get it done whilst you were away. If your hairdresser had done what you asked for in the first place, you would not have had to " cheat " on her. You are the boss of your head.

lapushka
December 8th, 2016, 05:47 AM
I have had the same hairdresser my whole life, and she is really good and really lovely. She always cautions me about drastic changes and never takes off too much, sometimes I have to ask her to take off more. However, A few years ago I decided I wanted to be blonde, and after a lot of previous failings of trying it at home I asked my hairdresser to do it. She eventually relented and did it gradually by adding more and more highlights over the period of a few months. It did look lovely when it was first done. However, the maintenance was awful and I also wanted to start growing my hair and was concerned about the amount of damage the bleach was doing. Anyway, the work my hairdresser had put into it made her reluctant to cover it with brown. I went a darker blonde but my roots were so much maintenance still, and my hairdresser is quite expensive, I'm only on apprentice wage and I am saving for a house. So I stupidly dyed over it brown to make the roots less noticeable. Anyway, the colour wouldn't hold on my ends due to the damage and they just looked a horrible dry pool green, and I was paranoid about the damage travelling up my hair, so I tried to cut it myself. BIG mistake. I ended up with a wonky chunky awful looking cut. I had to fix it but I was to scared to go to my hairdresser due to the state of my hair, I know it's silly but I had already done two things she told me not to do and I got very anxious about it. So I went to another hairdresser. She cut my hair into an inverted bob with layers when I said I just wanted the worst of the damage gone and my hair evened up. So now I'm patiently waiting for it to grow out. Due to the damage still left though I am going to keep needing trims and I really want to go back to my usual hairdresser because she was so good but I feel awful, like I've seriously betrayed her. What do you guys think I should do?

Just a quick question, but could you write in clear paragraphs. Such a wall of text is really hard for me to read.

We all have had our disasters (trust me). The key is you're here now, and there are awesome ways to cut your own hair (Feye's method, the compact cuts), so there's no longer any excuse to let a hairdresser not do what you want.

Try microtrimming. The thread is around here, somewhere...

MegHan-Solo
December 8th, 2016, 06:31 AM
Tell your hairdresser you were out of town for a while and had to get it done whilst you were away. If your hairdresser had done what you asked for in the first place, you would not have had to " cheat " on her. You are the boss of your head.

Thanks, I'll do that. And that is true, she should get over it.

MegHan-Solo
December 8th, 2016, 06:32 AM
Just a quick question, but could you write in clear paragraphs. Such a wall of text is really hard for me to read.

We all have had our disasters (trust me). The key is you're here now, and there are awesome ways to cut your own hair (Feye's method, the compact cuts), so there's no longer any excuse to let a hairdresser not do what you want.

Try microtrimming. The thread is around here, somewhere...

Yes sorry I'll make an effort to use paragraphs in the future. Thanks! I'll definitely look into methods of cutting my own hair properly. :)

Frankenstein
December 8th, 2016, 06:42 AM
I wouldn't worry about it really. It's your hair and what you do with it is ultimately your business :)

MegHan-Solo
December 8th, 2016, 07:15 AM
Thanks :) I will keep reminding myself of that.

spidermom
December 8th, 2016, 07:55 AM
I wouldn't lie to her. It will be so much worse if she finds out from somebody else that you weren't really out of town. I'd just go back to her and if she asks, say something like "I was experimenting".

Annalouise
December 8th, 2016, 08:05 AM
Awww, your hairdresser will not hit you or anything.:D I remember when I went to mine after I hennaed my hair and she was mad. She told me don't ever henna your hair again. :D
They love doing your hair. Don't feel bad. If she is trustworthy and takes good care of you just swallow your pride and tell her you screwed up. ;):pray:

lapushka
December 8th, 2016, 08:09 AM
Here's the link to Feye's method, BTW. No *need* to go back to her. ;)
http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/

MegHan-Solo
December 8th, 2016, 08:17 AM
I wouldn't lie to her. It will be so much worse if she finds out from somebody else that you weren't really out of town. I'd just go back to her and if she asks, say something like "I was experimenting".
That's true, I'll just tell her I dyed it and it all went downhill from there.

MegHan-Solo
December 8th, 2016, 08:22 AM
Awww, your hairdresser will not hit you or anything.:D I remember when I went to mine after I hennaed my hair and she was mad. She told me don't ever henna your hair again. :D
They love doing your hair. Don't feel bad. If she is trustworthy and takes good care of you just swallow your pride and tell her you screwed up. ;):pray:

She has already dealt with a lot of my mistakes, but yeah I guess that is the best way, maybe I'll wait for it to grow out a bit so it's not so obvious I had a cut.


Here's the link to Feye's method, BTW. No *need* to go back to her. ;)
http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/

Thanks! I think I'll have to wait for my hair to get a bit longer before I try it but I definitely will as soon as I can.

Rhoward
December 9th, 2016, 03:55 PM
I don't think you should feel bad about it, I mean after all, IF your hairdresser had actually dyed your hair back to brown like you had asked her to (and paid good money for might I add), none of this would have happened.

mizukitty
December 9th, 2016, 04:09 PM
Things happen. Life happens. Your hairdresser will understand. You don't really need to explain to her why you dyed your hair or why you went to another hairdresser unless you want to. I wouldn't lie to her, but you returning to her obviously tells her you enjoyed her expertise and came back for it. If I were if your situation I'd just tell her I had a heck of a year with my hair and that would be the end of it. Don't overthink it too much. :)

Acid
December 9th, 2016, 05:04 PM
Try Adore, theyre a semi permanent vegetable dye similar to manic panic but they do a range of natural shades (basically pigmented conditioners so they dont damage your hair) in a reddish brown to counteract that pool green on your lengths as it may be something as simple as the brown you used being too ashy over the blonde (when going brown from pale blonde you often need to fill it with a red or ginger first to stop it going green) :)

Dont worry, itll grow back and your hairdresser wont be too mad at you she still has to respect you as a client and she wont want to upset you so much that you wont go back to her again

MegHan-Solo
December 14th, 2016, 02:46 PM
I don't think you should feel bad about it, I mean after all, IF your hairdresser had actually dyed your hair back to brown like you had asked her to (and paid good money for might I add), none of this would have happened.
Thanks, that is true. When I eventually need to go back I'll just have to remind myself of that!

Things happen. Life happens. Your hairdresser will understand. You don't really need to explain to her why you dyed your hair or why you went to another hairdresser unless you want to. I wouldn't lie to her, but you returning to her obviously tells her you enjoyed her expertise and came back for it. If I were if your situation I'd just tell her I had a heck of a year with my hair and that would be the end of it. Don't overthink it too much. :)
Yeah Ill probably just show up and act like nothing is amiss and just tell her about the escalating hair mistakes if she asks.

Try Adore, theyre a semi permanent vegetable dye similar to manic panic but they do a range of natural shades (basically pigmented conditioners so they dont damage your hair) in a reddish brown to counteract that pool green on your lengths as it may be something as simple as the brown you used being too ashy over the blonde (when going brown from pale blonde you often need to fill it with a red or ginger first to stop it going green) :)

Dont worry, itll grow back and your hairdresser wont be too mad at you she still has to respect you as a client and she wont want to upset you so much that you wont go back to her again

I'll keep a look out for that, I have been using a red shampoo but it's really drying so I stopped using it. I did choose quite a red brown but my hair didn't hold it very well because of the previous bleaching.
Thanks, Im just super impatient for when it does grow back now!

Nellon
December 14th, 2016, 02:55 PM
Seriously she doesn't own your hair or the rights to it! You payed her for a service repeatedly and then decided to do something different. How on earth would she have any reason to be upset about it? It's kind of like you take your car to be repaired in a place, they don't do what you ask them.. You then don't have money and try to fix it DIY and then you feel guilty because they will be upset you tried to fix your own car? ;) Nah, life's too short to worry about stuff like that.

ETA: Oh, and good luck with it! I guess you could see it as an experiment and a new experience?

MegHan-Solo
December 14th, 2016, 03:21 PM
That's a good way of putting it, it definitely makes me feel less guilty! I do tend to overthink things and work myself up.
And thanks!