Lessons from a trim that turned into a chop

[Mufasa]

Dear Hair Wizards/Witches,
Last month, I reached my mini-goal of BSL. Unfortunately, I've been experiencing a lot of shedding and unexplained dryness this past year, so my hair was not as thick and glorious as it once was. I decided to go in for a 1.5 inch trim last week, which somehow ended up as an angled chin-length bob. My shorn strands are screaming at me, shaking their nonexistent fists, saying, "Woman, what did ya do???" This has happened to me so many times in the past that my reservoir of tears for hair disaster cuts has simply dried up. If I keep doing what I have been doing and expecting different results, that is just insanity. I want to see this as an opportunity to grow out quality hair because there is no use crying over spilt wurls. I have three new resolutions that I would like everyone's input with:

*For reference, I have low-porosity hair that hates coconut oil. I am silicone and sulfate free (get hives from either . . . sensitive skin is FUN). My hair quickly becomes red in the face, slurs its words, and stumbles if it has even just a little sip of protein.*

1) I can't expect to chose a random hairdresser and expect a miracle (I can't take any recommendations from friends, either, because they have straight hair.). Time to take the scissors into my own hands. Every haircut where I've ever requested "one-length yet not overly blunt hair" has gone awry. Such a simple yet complicated request. Time to buy a crea-clip. Demos online show the hair looking rather blocky and blunt, but it's better than what I'm paying good money to get. I don't trust myself with Feye's Method . . . I'll end up with an unintentional zigzag hemline. Are the cheap crea-clip knock-offs just as good?

2) To keep my hair moisturized, I need a post-shower oil blend. I would prefer it to smell divine, because who doesn't like to smell "delish" (as Rachael Ray says). I can custom mix a recipe, but let's be real, I'm very lazy. It would be nice to just buy it off of Amazon and have it delivered to the location where I lounge and eat grapes while I am being fanned with large palm leaves. Suggestions?

3) I need a sulfate-free shampoo that doesn't make my hair feel like a brillo pad in the short yet crucial time span after the shampoo has been rinsed from my shorn locks to when I desperately fumble for any and all bottles of conditioner and empty any and all of their contents onto my head. I keep trying to make CO work, but that's like trying to make neon leg warmers a thing again. I need shampoo in my life but I've kissed too many frogs. Unfortunately, there aren't dating sites for shampoo, but I guess this is the next best thing.

Thank you,
Mufasa

[spirals]

I can help with #3: ConditionWashCondition. Coat from just above the ears and down in conditioner. Then wash the scalp with shampoo and when done, let that rinse down over the conditioner to the ends. After rinsing then condition again for good measure if you want. It will protect the ends but they will get clean and you won't get greasy roots. I don't tend to get a lot of buildup, but I do a shampoo like other people would every other month or so just to keep it clarified.

[Wildcat Diva]

Might I suggest not trimming for a good long while? I've been here almost five years and had 2 one inch trims, from the same barber, yes that's right, a lady barber, who did exactly as I asked. So occasionally I do pull my ends around and give a tiny snip with hair cutting shears. But curly hair don't care. I think it's been two years since my last proper trim or maybe three. Yes three sounds right.

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Almond oil for a pre-poo might work. But like everything else YMMV. Good luck, sorry about your big chop.

[Rhoward]

I have both the generic version ($6 on eBay!) and the brand name creaclip. I used the cheaper one for a few months before committing to paying $45! The only real difference I noticed between the two is that the brand name version is thicker plastic and the 'teeth' are also slightly thicker so you get a stronger grip on the hair and it is able hold the hair in place better.

[hanne jensen]

Long live CreaClip and their like! I have a CreaClip copy bought from a German site. Best money I've ever invested in besides my hair scissors. Thank Goodness for them. I haven't been to a salon for over 5 years. I refuse to pay good money to come home and cry.

Mufasa, with an angled bob you can already put your hair back. I gathered my hair in a pony and wrapped the hair around one finger and installed a hair clip. That way you don't have to see your shortened hair and by protecting it you will be back at BSL before you know it.

[Nique1202]

For the oil after a wash, I've had pretty good results in the past with Body Shop beautifying oils. Depending on where you live, you might have a shop nearby where you can go and smell things in person, even.

[lapushka]

It would be useful, if you want product recommendations, to state what you all have tried already - it would make it so much easier for us.

[Sunshine&Opals]

I love your posts, they always make me smile! For oil, I've had good success with hemp seed oil, but maybe the key is to try a few of the lighter oils (better for low porosity hair, as I understand it, anyway) such as sweet almond , jojoba and or sunflower oil? I reckon you'd be best off just trying the straight up oils, order a small quantity to try from Amazon, or even your supermarket. Experiment a little bit. Once you hit on an oil your hair loves, then just order a bottle of good quality essential oil (Tisserand brand oils are supposed to be good quality, I think?) in your fav fragrance (lavender maybe? Or rosemary? Whatever you love) - then add a few drops to said oil. I'm lazy too, but I reckon even I could manage that! That way, you get a good quality oil that you know your hair likes, and with a fragrance you like. Much harder to try and find a blend out there that already has all those components, imho. And if the oils didn't work out for your hair, then you could maybe use them on your face or body, or even cook with them (sunflower oil, hemp seed oil) ! That way, there's less wastage too. What do you think?

[Annalouise]

Mufasa ~ You said you've been experiencing shedding but you are listed as having iii hair. So if you still have iii hair then it can't possibly look bad?
I'm confused.
You don't need to cut your hair at all. Dryness can be fixed with a deep conditioning treatment. You can CWC, then deep condition with a shower cap and a towel wrapped around it. Or buy a heat cap and do a deep conditioning with a heat cap for maximum moisture.:)
I don't really think you need to cut your hair again for a long time so don't worry about that.
For shampoo look for one that says "daily shampoo" or safe for daily use. Those are not as drying and are formulated for frequent use.
For a hair oil, I am not sure as you have C hair and I don't know anything about C hair. There are a zillion oils...almond, jojoba, apricot kernel, rose hip...etc. I'm afraid its a trial an error process. Or, you could go with a leave in conditioner instead. Or a leave in, and an oil on top of that if your hair can take a lot of product (mine can't being fine and thin). But your hair is C and THICK, iii, so you should be able to put just about anything on it! :D
Just put down the scissors and stop going for haircuts. :pins: :D

[Mufasa]

Thank you everyone for all of your suggestions! I of course do not plan on getting a haircut until the turn of the next century. When that time comes, I will likely trim myself with a creaclip (which I plan on buying soon). The reason that I got the trim/hair hack was because I hadn't had a trim in two years and needed a bit off. My strands are in between medium and coarse, so I classified them as course under my beautiful picture as shown to the left. I should probably update the thickness because I've had a lot of shedding the past year, and it's noticeable in my temples. To others, my hair seems very thick, but I know in my soul that it's not at it's prime Mufasaness.

I think that I'm going to have to buy a creaclip and also buy different oils and essential oils to experiment with. I must overcome my laziness for the good of the LHC townsfolk. I like Sunshine&Opals' ideas of becoming a hair mixologist. Perhaps I will reach Nightblooming levels, perhaps not :P

I neglected to mention that WCC works best for me and even though my strands are coarse, it doesn't absorb much. I can easily overload it and then it starts to have anxiety.

Regarding the shampoo, I would just like some recommendations of what y'all have used and loved. I'm particularly curious about the Desert Essence grape shampoo (I have the conditioner and it's great) as well as the Giovanni 50:50 shampoo. I have a wandering eye for shampoos, so hit me with your best shot. Fire awayyy! Ok enough of my blather, gotta go back to work. Unfortunately, I'm not lounging or being fanned with palm trees... ah I wish ...

[lapushka]

I neglected to mention that WCC works best for me and even though my strands are coarse, it doesn't absorb much. I can easily overload it and then it starts to have anxiety.

Regarding the shampoo, I would just like some recommendations of what y'all have used and loved. I'm particularly curious about the Desert Essence grape shampoo (I have the conditioner and it's great) as well as the Giovanni 50:50 shampoo. I have a wandering eye for shampoos, so hit me with your best shot. Fire awayyy! Ok enough of my blather, gotta go back to work. Unfortunately, I'm not lounging or being fanned with palm trees... ah I wish ...

Yes, things like, do you like sulfates or sulfate-free?

[KittyBird]

I haven't tried the grape shampoo by desert essences, but I have tried the mango, raspberry and coconut shampoos, and I love those!

[Complexity]

Yes, things like, do you like sulfates or sulfate-free?

OP has already mentioned being sulfate free. See below (bolding mine).


Dear Hair Wizards/Witches,
Last month, I reached my mini-goal of BSL. Unfortunately, I've been experiencing a lot of shedding and unexplained dryness this past year, so my hair was not as thick and glorious as it once was. I decided to go in for a 1.5 inch trim last week, which somehow ended up as an angled chin-length bob. My shorn strands are screaming at me, shaking their nonexistent fists, saying, "Woman, what did ya do???" This has happened to me so many times in the past that my reservoir of tears for hair disaster cuts has simply dried up. If I keep doing what I have been doing and expecting different results, that is just insanity. I want to see this as an opportunity to grow out quality hair because there is no use crying over spilt wurls. I have three new resolutions that I would like everyone's input with:

*For reference, I have low-porosity hair that hates coconut oil. I am silicone and sulfate free (get hives from either . . . sensitive skin is FUN). My hair quickly becomes red in the face, slurs its words, and stumbles if it has even just a little sip of protein.*

1) I can't expect to chose a random hairdresser and expect a miracle (I can't take any recommendations from friends, either, because they have straight hair.). Time to take the scissors into my own hands. Every haircut where I've ever requested "one-length yet not overly blunt hair" has gone awry. Such a simple yet complicated request. Time to buy a crea-clip. Demos online show the hair looking rather blocky and blunt, but it's better than what I'm paying good money to get. I don't trust myself with Feye's Method . . . I'll end up with an unintentional zigzag hemline. Are the cheap crea-clip knock-offs just as good?

2) To keep my hair moisturized, I need a post-shower oil blend. I would prefer it to smell divine, because who doesn't like to smell "delish" (as Rachael Ray says). I can custom mix a recipe, but let's be real, I'm very lazy. It would be nice to just buy it off of Amazon and have it delivered to the location where I lounge and eat grapes while I am being fanned with large palm leaves. Suggestions?

3) I need a sulfate-free shampoo that doesn't make my hair feel like a brillo pad in the short yet crucial time span after the shampoo has been rinsed from my shorn locks to when I desperately fumble for any and all bottles of conditioner and empty any and all of their contents onto my head. I keep trying to make CO work, but that's like trying to make neon leg warmers a thing again. I need shampoo in my life but I've kissed too many frogs. Unfortunately, there aren't dating sites for shampoo, but I guess this is the next best thing.

Thank you,
Mufasa

I can't help you with the sulfate free thing, OP, but if you know of a carrier oil your hair likes/can tolerate, mixing it with essential oils gives you the opportunity to make that 'divine' smell you're after as custom as you want!

Sorry about your bad experience :flower: It's all uphill from here!

[Obsidian]

I quite like L'Oreal evercurl shampoo. It lathers well, smells nice and cleans good. Another good one is the kirkland moisture shampoo but you can only get it from Costco.

[littlestarface]

Toadstool shampoos are pretty nice, I use them and I have to say they leave my hair very clean and silky. She's on etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/toadstoolsoaps

Also giovanni shampoos don't have harsh sulfates, i'm also trying the tea tree one and mmm smells tooo good. These are just a couple of suggestions that work quiet well for me as I love clean bouncy silky hair.

[ephemeri]

I think Nightblooming's Triple Moon Anointing oil (https://www.etsy.com/listing/101588405/triple-moon-hair-anointing-oil-12oz?ref=shop_home_active_14) smells divine.

[Katia_k]

I have LP hair that's similarly picky about coconut oil, so I feel your pain. I made a mix with sweet almond oil, lavender, and rosemary. I am also super lazy, but I'll say this is worth it, and you only have to do a little work. I mixed up a jar at the beginning of October, and I'm still using it. Granted, I do it before shower and not after, so I don't know how that would go.

As for shampoo, I actually swear by Kinky-Curly Come Clean. It's a daily clarifyer, which sounds like it would be really drying, but I find that it enables me to use slightly heavier things on my hair, because it makes sure I'm working with a clean slate every time. And while it makes my hair feel a bit squeaky, it never roughens it up or anything. I've actually found anything gentler just makes my hair more picky about how I condition and style it later.

Just my two cents, hope it helps!

[spidermom]

You could try mixing whatever shampoo you have on hand with warm water. Different people experience different results, so I thought I'd share that CWC isn't necessarily a good thing. Shampoo and conditioner have different ionic charges because one is positive and the other is negative (I forget which one is which). Because of this, the molecules cling to each other, causing buildup and Velcro ends for me.

[Arctic]

Mufasa I'm sorry you had the hack-job experience but gosh I love your posts!

[lapushka]

OP has already mentioned being sulfate free. See below (bolding mine).

OK, sorry must have missed that! I have trouble with lengthy posts sometimes. ;) Not anyone's fault, but mine. :) :flower:

I have no recs then... sorry. Yep apart from Shea Moisture being notoriously sulfate-free. And they have 2 more cleansing shampoos, the JBCO one, and the African black soap one.

[spidermom]

By the way, how did this chop happen? Did the stylist talk you into it or ignore what you asked for?

[lapushka]

By the way, how did this chop happen? Did the stylist talk you into it or ignore what you asked for?

Yeah, I'm oddly curious about that too.

It might be that the OP is not comfortable with the texture of the hair, which is a great big stumbling block for anyone trying to deal with their natural texture and it is not beyond the ordinary to chop back in that case. I've seen it happen. :)

[Mufasa]

Hello again Folks!
Thank you everyone for your product suggestions and your hair condolences :(
I actually am comfortable with my hair texture. It's wild and unique. My hair is interesting and it looks different everyday. It's a snobby little thang and very picky. I may never find out what it really wants (tell me what you want, what you really really want!). Well, I just wanted a trim. I don't know how things escalated to a bob. I said 1.5 inches and showed where on my back I planned on having my hair end up (below the shoulder blades). I told her that my hair is very springy so keeping it long helps me to give it some weight and manage it better. She started in the back, so I couldn't see what she was doing, and when she got to the sides I could have started wailing like a newborn babe but I just thanked my lucky stars that I still had hair on my head. The hairdresser said to me "There, does that feel better? Now you can save money on shampoo and you don't have all that weight pulling on your scalp!"
:laugh: Why, thank you m'aam!!!!! (But that's not what I asked for . . . )
This happens to me almost every time I get a haircut.
I just have to figure out how to keep my hair in good enough condition to go longer without trims. Mainly moisture is my biggest issue.
Well, let's all shed a tear for my shorn strands :violin: and toast to the future generation of strands :toast:

[desu]

Buy your own hair scissor and don't let anyone else but you cut your hair ever.

[turtlelover]

Hello again Folks!
Thank you everyone for your product suggestions and your hair condolences :(
I actually am comfortable with my hair texture. It's wild and unique. My hair is interesting and it looks different everyday. It's a snobby little thang and very picky. I may never find out what it really wants (tell me what you want, what you really really want!). Well, I just wanted a trim. I don't know how things escalated to a bob. I said 1.5 inches and showed where on my back I planned on having my hair end up (below the shoulder blades). I told her that my hair is very springy so keeping it long helps me to give it some weight and manage it better. She started in the back, so I couldn't see what she was doing, and when she got to the sides I could have started wailing like a newborn babe but I just thanked my lucky stars that I still had hair on my head. The hairdresser said to me "There, does that feel better? Now you can save money on shampoo and you don't have all that weight pulling on your scalp!"
:laugh: Why, thank you m'aam!!!!! (But that's not what I asked for . . . )
This happens to me almost every time I get a haircut.
I just have to figure out how to keep my hair in good enough condition to go longer without trims. Mainly moisture is my biggest issue.
Well, let's all shed a tear for my shorn strands :violin: and toast to the future generation of strands :toast:

Ummmm.....did you talk to the manager? It sounds pretty far fetched for a hairdresser to cut below shoulder blade hair all the way to a bob against a client's wishes and still have a job. I mean most of us have had a couple of bad haircuts, but that is waaaaay beyond the norm and I can't imagine being charged for that, nor the person responsible retaining their job.

[lapushka]

Buy your own hair scissor and don't let anyone else but you cut your hair ever.

That would be my advice too. :) ;)

There's a good method around for blut, U, and V cuts and it's called "Feye's self-trimming method". Just type that into Google and hey presto! There you are. :p

[lapushka]

Ummmm.....did you talk to the manager? It sounds pretty far fetched for a hairdresser to cut below shoulder blade hair all the way to a bob against a client's wishes and still have a job. I mean most of us have had a couple of bad haircuts, but that is waaaaay beyond the norm and I can't imagine being charged for that, nor the person responsible retaining their job.

Yes, I hope you just didn't say thank you and left.

When I was hacked up beyond all repair, I called in the manager. Turns out a student had been "cutting" (if you can call it that) my hair, and the manager then proceeded to fix the cut as best she could.

You could still go back and complain, just don't leave it too long.