Caring for Kids' Hair

[cassandraj]

Here's my dilemma:

I've had mostly straight (with a slight wave) hair all my life, even through the numerous hair care routines. Now, I went and had a daughter, and her grandma (his mom) has curly hair, which obviously, my baby ended up with.

She's 3.5 now, and she's got the most beautiful hair, with ringlets in the bottom 5-6 inches (her total length is probably mid back). It's slightly fine, but she's got a lot of hair.

I'm at a loss on how to care for her hair though! I don't want to damage it by doing something wrong!

Right now, she gets a hair wash maybe 1-2 times a week (unless she gets something in it) with Shea Moisture (the kid's manuka honey & lavender wash), followed by whatever conditioner I have on hand (usually Renpure Bamboo Coconut Water). Once it's slightly dried, I spritz Ogx's kukui oil all through, and comb out with a flexible Goody pick, and if it's before bed, I put it in pigtail braids (spritzing with the oil again). In between wash days, I try to keep her hair up as much as possible, but when she's with her father (we have split custody), he knows nothing, and she comes to me with matted hair. :rant: (I also have no idea how he cares for her hair when he has her...we don't have the best relationship...)

Is there anything I should do differently? Anything I should add? Any shampoo/conditioners that are best for her hair?

Here's a photo of her hair after it's been brushed out:
https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/14881577_10154107916493995_523192211_o.jpg?oh=c6fd 45ce975d1141c37908f7e5464eef&oe=582FF4EC

[lapushka]

Looks fine to me! :)

[cassandraj]

It's kind of a low quality photo, and I'd just oiled her hair...but she has A LOT of (breakage/new growth?) flyaway ends throughout her length :/ I don't know if it's from me, or if it's just normal.

[lapushka]

It's kind of a low quality photo, and I'd just oiled her hair...but she has A LOT of (breakage/new growth?) flyaway ends throughout her length :/ I don't know if it's from me, or if it's just normal.

She has beautiful hair for being so young, so I wouldn't worry about any of it. And yes, kids' hair gets a bit of rough play at daddy's house, kind of normal, but sucks that you have to deal with the aftermath. I would make a good spray with water + a squirt of a good smoothing & detangling conditioner in it and use it to detangle the mats.

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Wow she's has gorgeous hair. Looks like you are doing a great job with her hair.
Maybe try sending her to her dad's in braids. That might save her hair for a few days. Just an idea.

[cassandraj]

She has beautiful hair for being so young, so I wouldn't worry about any of it. And yes, kids' hair gets a bit of rough play at daddy's house, kind of normal, but sucks that you have to deal with the aftermath. I would make a good spray with water + a squirt of a good smoothing & detangling conditioner in it and use it to detangle the mats.

Should I stick with kid's brands? Or just use what I have on hand? I've been looking into brands for curly hair for kids, but since I don't have much experience, I have no clue what's good and what's not.

I've been toying with switching her to Cantu, and then sending some with her to her dad's house..

[cassandraj]

Wow she's has gorgeous hair. Looks like you are doing a great job with her hair.
Maybe try sending her to her dad's in braids. That might save her hair for a few days. Just an idea.

I wish it were that easy :( we have a rotating 2 week placement, so she's with him for half a month :/

And yes, her hair is sooo dreamy! I wish it were mine!

She tells me that he just washes her hair, but doesn't use "dishuh", so her hair is always just parched and static-y when I get her back. So I have to nurse it back to it's shiny gorgeous-ness.

[cassandraj]

Cantu kids Shampoo ingredients:

Water (Aqua, Eau), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Hitter), Fragrance (Parfum), Disodium EDTA, Glycol Stearate, Guarhydroxypropyltrimonium(Hloride,Benzophenone-4, PEG-120 Methyl Glucose Dioleate, Lauroyl Lysine, DMDM Hydantoin, Yellow 5(CI 19140), Yellow 6 ( CI 15985).

Cantu kids conditioner ingredients:

Water, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter), Fragrance, Disodium EDTA, Glycol Stearate, Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Benzophenone-4, PEG-120 Methyl Glucose Dioleate, Lauroyl Lysine, DMDM Hydantoin, Yellow 5 (CI 19140), Yellow 6 (CI 15985).

(And I use the regular Cantu shea butter leave (https://www.amazon.com/Cantu-Butter-Leave-Conditioning-Repair/dp/B005IUGRBI/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1479388533&sr=1-1&keywords=cantu%2Bshea%2Bbutter%2Bleave%2Bin%2Bcond itioner&th=1) in on her when her hair is particularly rough, and it looks like the ingredients are very similar to the kid's version)

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

I wish it were that easy :( we have a rotating 2 week placement, so she's with him for half a month :/

And yes, her hair is sooo dreamy! I wish it were mine!

She tells me that he just washes her hair, but doesn't use "dishuh", so her hair is always just parched and static-y when I get her back. So I have to nurse it back to it's shiny gorgeous-ness.

Aaah shame poor angel.
I am trying to rack my brain here. But can't come up with any ideas. Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will chime in.

Good luck and try not to stress too much.

[lapushka]

Cantu kids Shampoo ingredients:

Water (Aqua, Eau), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Hitter), Fragrance (Parfum), Disodium EDTA, Glycol Stearate, Guarhydroxypropyltrimonium(Hloride,Benzophenone-4, PEG-120 Methyl Glucose Dioleate, Lauroyl Lysine, DMDM Hydantoin, Yellow 5(CI 19140), Yellow 6 ( CI 15985).

Cantu kids conditioner ingredients:

Water, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter), Fragrance, Disodium EDTA, Glycol Stearate, Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Benzophenone-4, PEG-120 Methyl Glucose Dioleate, Lauroyl Lysine, DMDM Hydantoin, Yellow 5 (CI 19140), Yellow 6 (CI 15985).

(And I use the regular Cantu shea butter leave (https://www.amazon.com/Cantu-Butter-Leave-Conditioning-Repair/dp/B005IUGRBI/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1479388533&sr=1-1&keywords=cantu%2Bshea%2Bbutter%2Bleave%2Bin%2Bcond itioner&th=1) in on her when her hair is particularly rough, and it looks like the ingredients are very similar to the kid's version)

Are you sure that's conditioner and not shampoo (the 2nd ingredient's list)?

[cassandraj]

Are you sure that's conditioner and not shampoo (the 2nd ingredient's list)?

Oops, must have copied the wrong one!

Water (Aqua, Eau), Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Stearamidopropyl, Dimethylamine, Glycerin, Glyceryl Stearate, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut), Oil, Honey Extract (Mel, Extrait De Miel), Panthenol, Polyester-11, Lactic Acid, Fragrance (Parfum), Isostearyl Neopentanoate, Isohexadecane, Butylene Glycol, Disodium Edta, Phenoxyethanol, Ethylhexylglycerin.

[lapushka]

I can't see anything wrong with the ingredients, as long as you know that the shampoo is a proper sulfate shampoo.

[Eastbound&Down]

I had ringlet curls when I when little. My mom used No More Tears (the ones that look like a fish) and finished with baby oil. Never brushed it. She said my curls refused to behave and oil was the only thing that worked.

[diewassermelone]

Shame she's too young to teach to braid, I did that with a 5 year old I used to watch. Her parents didn't do anything to her hair so whenever I picked her up from school it would be a rat's nest, until I taught her to braid. She could do it, badly, but it was better than nothing.
Do you think her dad could be convinced to bun it? I've noticed some guys thing braiding is "girly" and beneath them, but throwing it up in a bun would keep it from getting so snarly and not require any extra skills.

[cassandraj]

Shame she's too young to teach to braid, I did that with a 5 year old I used to watch. Her parents didn't do anything to her hair so whenever I picked her up from school it would be a rat's nest, until I taught her to braid. She could do it, badly, but it was better than nothing.
Do you think her dad could be convinced to bun it? I've noticed some guys thing braiding is "girly" and beneath them, but throwing it up in a bun would keep it from getting so snarly and not require any extra skills.

He can't even manage a pony tail :|

[diewassermelone]

He can't even manage a pony tail :|

Oh dear. Perhaps it would be best to cut her hair for the time being, until she's old enough to help take care of it?

[cassandraj]

Oh dear. Perhaps it would be best to cut her hair for the time being, until she's old enough to help take care of it?

We would both be devastated! She adores her hair as much as I do...

[lapushka]

We would both be devastated! She adores her hair as much as I do...

Then I pray to God her dad doesn't do it out of sheer frustration. :( Or to get back at you, and make his life easier when bathing her.

[cassandraj]

Then I pray to God her dad doesn't do it out of sheer frustration. :( Or to get back at you, and make his life easier when bathing her.

I hope not, either. She's very adamant she wants it long, and he's a pushover when it comes to what she wants...but I could see him chopping it off just to make me mad :/

[Quixii]

Honestly, it sounds like everything you're doing is great. I think things would probably be better for her hair if her dad used conditioner, but it sounds like that may be too much to ask.

[Entangled]

Joico leave in conditioner/detangler is magic for me in terms of decreasing tangles. My mom used it on me when I was young, and it's my favorite product.

[lapushka]

Maybe give her a 2-in-1 product to use especially when she goes visit daddy. It will be *her* product to carry with her from you to him and to use on her hair, like a special treat, something that she is "in charge of", so to speak. If a 3-year-old thinks like that. ;) Might be a good solution to not using conditioner on her hair like it is the case now.

And look at this:
http://www.sheamoisture.com/Coconut-Hibiscus-Kids-2-In-1-Curl-Shine-Shampoo-Conditioner_p_1596.html

[MsPharaohMoan]

Maybe give her a 2-in-1 product to use especially when she goes visit daddy. It will be *her* product to carry with her from you to him and to use on her hair, like a special treat, something that she is "in charge of", so to speak. If a 3-year-old thinks like that. ;) Might be a good solution to not using conditioner on her hair like it is the case now.

And look at this:
http://www.sheamoisture.com/Coconut-Hibiscus-Kids-2-In-1-Curl-Shine-Shampoo-Conditioner_p_1596.html

I like the idea of putting the child in charge, especially if pretty long hair is something she wants. I just went to youtube to see if I could find toddlers braiding their own hair (because I don't know what a three year old's motor skills are) and I found evidence. Maybe start teaching her with string/scarves?

[Alex Lou]

What you're doing is just fine. But I'm thinking that young kids don't need shampoo, so why not CO?

My 1 year old son barely has any hair, but it's never been touched by shampoo and it's so clean and soft after a conditioner wash. He smears food in it nearly every day, btw.

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Kids love to play fantasy and dress up. The best you can do is get her, her own tt and tell her to hold her bottom section and brush it. Remind her not to touch the top. Help her practice with you. Also try not to fuss with her dad about her hair and not speak I'll of his neglect of her hair to her. To avoid her repeating to him. So that he does not get mad with you "just over hair" and do something drastic.
She is still too young to try any braid or twist and might aggravate this problem by creating more knots and tangles. You can begin teaching her to do them when she is 4 or maybe 4.5 years. But you can help her co-ordination now with tying some wool together. The top will be tied together just on one end and the rest left loose. Make it a fun activity that she can practice on.

Good luck.

[calmyogi]

If your looking for products you could stick with the Shea moisture line, It can be very nourishing to curly hair. If you even like their products anyways.

I think what your doing to her hair sounds great and I wouldn't worry about when she goes to her dads. Little girls look cute no matter what so I would just leave it for what it is and slowly start teaching her how to care for her own hair. Lapushka had a great idea with the leave in conditioner. But, I know my daughter would have dumped it out or over used it at 3. Could you buy a bottle and pack it with her things when she goes to her dads and ask her to remind daddy to put it on after he washes it? Maybe it would be easy enoug for him if when he's brushing it out she brought it to him and he sprayed it on?

I get the frustration of some men not even being open to trying to braid or bun. The mornings that I work my husband isn't much for even attempting to pony tail my daughters hair.

[calmyogi]

Kids love to play fantasy and dress up. The best you can do is get her, her own tt and tell her to hold her bottom section and brush it. Remind her not to touch the top. Help her practice with you. Also try not to fuss with her dad about her hair and not speak I'll of his neglect of her hair to her. To avoid her repeating to him. So that he does not get mad with you "just over hair" and do something drastic.
She is still too young to try any braid or twist and might aggravate this problem by creating more knots and tangles. You can begin teaching her to do them when she is 4 or maybe 4.5 years. But you can help her co-ordination now with tying some wool together. The top will be tied together just on one end and the rest left loose. Make it a fun activity that she can practice on.

Good luck.

They make child sized tangle teezers too. They are suppose to be small so they can hold them. It is a great tool for her at her age since it will be virtually impossible for her to get it tangled in her hair and it will minimize any damage she could inflict since she might not be old enough to be aware quite yet.

[lapushka]

Lapushka[/B] had a great idea with the leave in conditioner. But, I know my daughter would have dumped it out or over used it at 3. Could you buy a bottle and pack it with her things when she goes to her dads and ask her to remind daddy to put it on after he washes it? Maybe it would be easy enoug for him if when he's brushing it out she brought it to him and he sprayed it on?

Leave-in conditioner? I thought I'd linked a 2-in-1 shampoo? :confused:

[Nymphe]

See if he has a relative or a friend that can do her hair for him, or ask his mother to do her hair.

[calmyogi]

Leave-in conditioner? I thought I'd linked a 2-in-1 shampoo? :confused:



I guess I didn't read it clearly... Sorry :cool:

Edit: I think when I read 2 in 1 leave in came to mind instead lol.