Sad I Might Have To Cut My Hair

[Bunnehlvr22]

It's been a little while since I posted on this forum. I think the last time I posted on here my hair was almost BSL. Now it's almost hip length. I started my long hair journey determined to make it to terminal length. But now I'm not so sure I'm going to make it.

First, I've discovered that I hate the feel of my hair being "up". No matter how I adjust it it pulls on my scalp. Yet I can't leave it down because it gets caught in doors, car windows, clothes, and, most recently, my armpits.

The underneath of my hair that rubs against my shirt has turned into a constant battle against split ends.

People tell me I look better with long hair but I feel by this length it looks flat all the time.

People have started coming up to me and touching my hair telling me I have such beautiful hair. I can't handle that I NEED my personal space or I turn violent.

I'm sad though cause I really wanted to see how long my hair would grow but I've more than half a mind to get it cut tomorrow. :'(

[spidermom]

I understand completely. I cut mine.

[Vanille_]

People tell me I look better with long hair but I feel by this length it looks flat all the time.


This is coming from someone who was between waist to hip and went to a pixie.

How many of these people have seen you with short hair? Do they actually have anything to compare to?

Short hair comes in many cuts and styles. I've gone through well over ten different cuts since I cut my hair. First trying around shoulder and working my way eventually to a pixie. I did assymetrical but even that had various style cuts which all had a drastically different effect on the look.

People told me before I cut it that I wouldn't look good and I would look better with long hair. Now 99.9% of the same people tell me how much better my hair looks short.

It's your hair. You have to live with it. And the great thing about hair is that it grows back. Cutting your hair is not the end of the world. Cutting mine was one of the best experiences ever. It's such a huge lifestyle change to go from having to spend so much time on your hair to not much at all. At my length, I really just have to get out of bed and spray it with a little water and I'm done. Washing it takes maybe 1 or 2 minutes and I can even do it in the sink if I'm in a rush. Drying takes no time at all. Mine is a drastic case, I imagine you aren't going for pixie. But even when I just cut it to below my shoulders it was a huge change.

You sound like me before I cut it. The cons outweighed the pros at the time. I knew I was ready. It was scary but I just knew it was the right time.

And now I'm ready to grow it out again, but I still don't regret cutting it. It was so much fun. What's most important is what YOU think of your hair. No one else's opinion matters.

[Annalouise]

I would wait two weeks at least, possibly one month. It only takes a second to cut your hair off but it took you years to grow it. So just take a deep breathe, and relax for a second. Could it be something else is stressing you out? When I'm frazzled I take some pure frankincense essential oil and I put it on my hands, face, neck and I just breathe it in. It is very grounding. :)

[littlestarface]

Well if your not happy with it no point in growing it.

[Goddessa]

Sounds like it isn't serving you anymore. Love the username by the way, got one of my two in my avi pic. ;)

My hair isn't terribly sentimental to me, and I know that's kind of a rare thing(or so it appears from my lurking) on this board. And I will agree that sometimes long hair *does* begin to just look lifeless and flat and hang there and do nothing for you. I'm pretty sure I won't go past my ultimate goal length because I know for a fact past that it will begin to become a hindrance to my lifestyle. If you don't want to cut maybe consider layering it to give it some shape? Try half ups? Braids?

I've had my hair every different kind of "short" and there's so many different types that it's unfair to say that someone would look better with or without. Bobs are universally flattering imo if they are cut with your face in mind. With my last hairdresser I trusted her so much I told her to just do what she wanted and never in my life did I get so many complements! Also, hair length isn't forever either. You can cut off, grow out, and go back again. It grows!

[Goddessa]

Or consider a new goal? Ok so maybe terminal is too much trouble... The new goal can be as simple as "thick hemline at bsl" or as crazy as "Maintain dyed blonde hair with layers and blunt bangs at apl with zero split ends and frizz"

[missmelaniem]

I agree with waiting and not doing anything rash.

Have you tried braiding as an alternative to having your hair up? What about something like a snood or something similar to keep your hair covered when out in public.

[ANoteToSelf]

This happened to me. I pulled every excuse in the book until my mom took me and I lopped my TBL hair to Chin. I loved it for a bit, maybe 2 or so months, but I have been missing it desperately ever since. It took me 4 years to grow my hair from APL to TBL, and it's taken me a whole year to go from chin to CBL. I constantly think about what I wish I would have done instead.

I don't regret cutting ALL of my hair. I was tired of it and I did need a change. Before chopping big time, you should try doing small chops. For example, I had TBL hair, but if I went back, I would have only cut my hair to BSL. It was a reasonable length and I would still have been able to donate a good amount of hair.

For your own sake, please take some time to play with your hair and see if their is anything you still like about it. If you do, don't do anything drastic.

[LongCurlyTress]

I just trimmed up about 4 inches from tbl to hip length for many of the same reasons as you mentioned below. My hair is very thick and tangles horribly and this new hip length is much more manageable. I was breaking so many hairs during detangling in the shower with cream rinse... my hair was split/torn all the way down and I cringed when I detangled it feeling the breakage happening every time. I think I may maintain this new length for awhile... I am so happy I didn't go shorter... Good luck and baby steps/trims... You would be surprised how an inch or a couple of inches will make a difference, give your crown hairs some lift and you will feel prettier... Hugs! Two week rule applies here!! :blossom:

[Deborah]

It sounds like you need a change, but maybe a not too drastic change could make you happy. There is a lot of territory between terminal and short. Don't worry about terminal; you can do that later if you want to. For now maybe just cut it to waist or mid back or bsl. Getting rid of some of that weight might feel just great! If so, problem solved!

In any case, it's your hair, and I hope you can find a solution that makes you happy. Good luck! :flower:

[LadyCelestina]

It's been a little while since I posted on this forum. I think the last time I posted on here my hair was almost BSL. Now it's almost hip length. I started my long hair journey determined to make it to terminal length. But now I'm not so sure I'm going to make it.

First, I've discovered that I hate the feel of my hair being "up". No matter how I adjust it it pulls on my scalp. Yet I can't leave it down because it gets caught in doors, car windows, clothes, and, most recently, my armpits.
Do you wear braids? Sectioned buns might be also the way to go.
(I know the feel of buns pulling hair :( So I wear them while outside and then put my hair in a comfortable braid at home. Sometimes it's also wearing the wrong bun - I can do a nautilus or lazy wrap, but it pulls my hair like crazy at this length, whereas when my hair was a bit longer with some layers/fairytailing, it was just right.)
The underneath of my hair that rubs against my shirt has turned into a constant battle against split ends.

People tell me I look better with long hair but I feel by this length it looks flat all the time.

There are several ways to add volume. Wash your hair upside down, dry shampoo, changing your part, brushing it upside down, putting it into a high bun for a while (ideally while damp with some mousse/gel/hairspray), or even slightly teasing it if you have to.

People have started coming up to me and touching my hair telling me I have such beautiful hair. I can't handle that I NEED my personal space or I turn violent.

See tips about buns, which people mostly don't care about so much. Also please do tell those people they are making you feel uncomfortable, even though their intentions are nice. ETA: Also a braid visually shortens your hair.



I'm sad though cause I really wanted to see how long my hair would grow but I've more than half a mind to get it cut tomorrow. :'(

TLDR - I wouldn't cut it if you are sad you have to cut it. Instead try to work around problems and see what happens, then cut.

[lapushka]

Cut back in increments! Truly. It's worth it waiting and not lopping it off in one go.

When I get the feeling it's all getting in my way and too long, it usually means I need a trim, and lo and behold, yes, I am beyond classic and need to cut back to classic length in order to feel comfortable.

Did you have these feelings just prior to reaching hip? No? Well, then there's your answer. It may have gotten a *tad* long for you.

[KittyBird]

I was also very sad when I realized that I would never be able to grow to terminal, and that I couldn't even keep it at classic or tbl, due to the scalp pain and headaches I got when I wore it up. I spent two years thinking about cutting it before I actually felt ready to do it. I have honestly never been happier with my hair. I love wearing it down and not having it get stuck everywhere, I don't have to worry much about damage or tangles, don't have any headaches or scalp pain anymore. I can still wear it up if I want to, or just put it in a ponytail.

Only you know if cutting it shorter is the right thing to do and if it will make you happy. I'm a fan of big chops, but I had already decided what length would be right for me and knew how I wanted it to look. If you're not sure about how short to cut, maybe cutting in increments until you find your happy length is the way to go? Best of luck! :grouphug:

[lora410]

I had to chop from hip to chin in one crack due to a perm frying my hair. As sad as it was, once it was done I enjoyed the bob and felt sexy with it!!! (hubby didn't like it that short) and also the fun of re-growing it back out :)

[Mrstran]

I had TBL hair when I was a kid and I hated it. As an adult I want nothing more than to have hip length hair.
Reading this post reminds me of why I hated my hair back then, and I had completely forgotten the struggles of long hair.

Thinking back now. I remember all the maintenance. My mother would spend so much time and money on my hair. Even taking me for trims and treatments. Occasionally I'd get gum stuck in it, or a ton of dried leaves from jumping in piles during the fall. I always dreaded getting my hair combed because it really hurt. I'd cry a lot. On top of that, my hair would rat up undernieth very easy. I'd have a huge ball of hair behind my neck within hours of having it combed only to end up having it raked out again. I would always get it caught on things and ripped out, and even sit on it and struggle to get off of it.

I'm a little more optimistic this time as I brush my own hair, hate chewing gum, and stay out of leaf piles.


(My ramble point: I understand how frustrating it can be. Take some time to think about it. Maybe BSL?)

[patienceneeded]

I went from hip to chin to pixie over a year ago, for many of the same reasons you mention. I have no regrets!

I am growing the pixie out a little bit, I plan on maintaining between chin and shoulder. I can always pixie it again if I don't like it once it's a bit longer. Now I know what I look like with a pixie and have no fear about cutting it again.

I discovered that uber-long hair is not for me. I get annoyed with it when loose, and the heaviness when wearing it up was causing daily stress headaches. I have had more compliments on my short hair over the last 1.5 years than in all the years I had long hair.

When I decided I was done, I was DONE. Yes, it was impulsive and I did not do the "2-week wait" rule...but I don't regret it in the slightest.

Another bonus to keeping hair short...hair dye! No worries about split ends and damage, the hair is short and less fragile as it isn't that old. Bonus.

[Vanille_]

Another bonus to keeping hair short...hair dye!

It used to take me close to an hour to dye my hair myself. That's not counting the 30+minutes to wash it out. At pixie, it takes maybe 3 minutes to dye! When I see those roots showing, I don't put it off anymore since I know it will take just a few minutes. I still use the same dye I used when it was long -- Manic Panic, which is vegan. So my hair still feels great. But I know what you mean. I've considered bleaching my hair even since now that it is pixie, it will just grow out. I never got the courage to do it, but it was nice to know it wasn't something that would ruin my hair forever.

[Doom]

People have started coming up to me and touching my hair telling me I have such beautiful hair. I can't handle that I NEED my personal space or I turn violent.
That's nothing a little pepper spray won't solve. When they are incapacitated, you kick them in the balls, and then you go to the nearest police station to report an attempted rape.

[mrs_coffee]

I would chop it, but I've chopped my own off many times and never regretted it. Last time I cut I went from waist to chin and now I'm growing it out again. Sometimes I think I like the journey more than the destination, IDK.

[Annalouise]

That's nothing a little pepper spray won't solve. When they are incapacitated, you kick them in the balls, and then you go to the nearest police station to report an attempted rape.

You go girl!:p

[Doom]

You go girl!:p

Ahem. Boy.

[Annalouise]

Ahem. Boy.

LOL. One starts to assume after talking to so many ladies on this forum. My apologies! :o

[Bunnehlvr22]

Vanilla_ - Most of them saw my poor attempt at going short the last time I cut it. I was naïve and got a short bob that required styling every morning when I am a person who defines "Styling" as brushing after showering and maybe tossing it into a ponytail. That cut was such a disaster. I also live in a very conservative area where most men are very vocal that only desirable women have long hair. :rolleyes:

Goddessa- Thanks :D I have an adorable lion's head with a gorgeous mane I'm very envious of. :p

I think I'll give it a month before deciding. I just ordered two snoods and I'm going to give those a try as a last ditch effort. I've been growing it for about 3-4 years so I guess I do owe it to my hair to give it a month. I'm completely at a lost of how to trim the split ends at the nape of my neck though.

[Pixiebella]

Under your avatar it says your hair is very thick. Just an idea, but maybe you can add in some layers to lighten the load, and if that isn't light enough to wear up, maybe do a braid and then wrap the braid low at the base of your nape. I know it can be hard to bun low on your head when you have a lot of hair, but a braid would make it easier. But if you want to cut it go for it! I just had to cut my hair all off to my chin, and I didn't want to have to do it at all (it was fried) so I might be a little biased in terms of advocating for you to keep it, since I'm still really sad about losing mine. :(

[Tassledown]

I would definitely suggest trying different covering styles if you feel the need to have your hair be "off limits" in public; it's a major reason why I never have my hair down in public myself - it's always up or covered, depending. It's also IMO a good way to just put your hair out of your mind for a while and forget about it until you feel up to assessing it later and if people can't see much of your hair they won't be tempted to touch or comment on it as much.

If you've had your hair short before and struggled with it, I'd definitely advise against going much higher than the last time you remember being happy with the length; I shaved my head before this attempt to grow it out and found out that the only short hair length I like is <1" long. (I discovered the wonders of covering while attempting to not murder my hair growing it out from there to BSL.)

Struggling to have your hair up is definitely a problem, though. Snoods might be nice since you can generally tuck the hair in loose but I suppose only time will tell. Feel free to shoot me a message or something if you want more ideas about headcoverings; I know there's a thread around here for it too. Good luck!