Feeling really down about my hair :-(

[hopefulred]

Just need to offloads as I'm feeling so down about my hair, I'm so angry at the hairdressers for damaging it so severely, I'm angry at myself for having bleached and dyed it for so long and I'm so down that its going to take so long for all the healthy stuff to grow out and that in the meantime I'm living in fear of it all snapping off. iv got afew tiny hairs that are shorter than my roots that iv just noticed (they look to be just at the front on my hairline) could that be regrowth and iv only noticed it because I'm so aware of my hair or is it snapped hair :( I'm sat here crying my eyes out, feel so down about it, I fear I'm going to have to have it cut to the roots and that would kill all my confidence and would not suit me at all :-( I feel like no one close to me can understand because they aren't in this situation, they don't have to live with it, I feel so alone with it, I'm devastated, I know you will all understand more than most how your crown and glory can make you feel like this. :(

[Hailwidis]

The short hairs at your roots sound like regrowth - I have lots of those at my hairline too and my hair is healthy virgin hair that hasn't ever been exposed to heat/chemicals etc. So that's good news already :)

Don't jump to conclusions: your hair may be damaged but that doesn't mean it looks horrible and all needs to be chopped off now. Wait 2 weeks, baby it, try not to think about it too much. Wear scarves and hats (it's getting colder, so it'll keep you warm too).

Take a deep breath. What is the real issue here? Your hair or your self confidence? Or something else? It sounds to me like you're very emotional, and it must be tough to be feeling so down and insecure. Would you maybe consider therapy? You could discuss how you feel about yourself and maybe get some help and strength from therapy sessions. You mentioned in another thread that you recently had a baby. Could you maybe be experiencing some symptoms of postpartum depression?

If you are not feeling good, you need to take it seriously.

We are here to listen to you, give you advice and cheer you on. Your hair is growing. It will grow out. In a few months it will be a lot better already. You can trim it regularly and soon the damage will be gone. Don't panic. You'll be fine.

:grouphug:

[calmyogi]

You just had a baby? I remember feeling very emotional after I had my daughter. Maybe just put your hair up and focus on your new love bug. When my hair is bothering me, I have had a lot of issues lately with loving my hemline, I try to step back and tell myself "it will grow". Then I just wash it and put it up after its dried. I try not to pay attention to it.

Since you did just give birth you probably have more going on than your hair. I know during that time of be month I feel ugly and fat and no one can tell me any different. If you really feel very low you should seek some help. Take care of yourself.

[hopefulred]

I'm feeling low because of how damaged my hair is, Do you think those short 1cm hairs are regrowth or that the damaged hair is effecting my new growth and its snapped? How do I tell the difference?

[calmyogi]

I'm feeling low because of how damaged my hair is, Do you think those short 1cm hairs are regrowth or that the damaged hair is effecting my new growth and its snapped? How do I tell the difference?

It sounds like it is new growth. My head has those little short hairs coming out as well. Sometimes some women have hormonal fluctuations after having a baby that can just make everything seem much bigger than what it really is. That's all I was getting at.

[littlestarface]

If it's normal growing little hairs they'll be tapered and broken hairs look blunt, like someone just cut off one of the longer strands. I remember reading that here a few times. If your combing your hair and you see bits falling down then oh ya that's breaking hair.

It's such a shame you focus on your hair so much, poor hair.

[Groovy Granny]

From your posts it sounds like panic mode has started...take a deep breath and relax (((Hugs)))

You saw a stylist and they gave you advice....and a cut; now just let it be..... until your next trim/cut.

Over thinking = worrying needlessly, and doing treatments that may cause issues you never had.

It will take time to grow healthy hair back to the length you want; try to be patient.

Just do a general hair health check and address the obvious (dryness etc); it may change as your hair condition improves....be flexible.
You will grow new hair and lose some naturally....we all do.

Get some cute accessories to bling it up and vary the style as it grows out.

Enjoy each stage of regrowth (even the short ones)....celebrate milestones...get on with life :flowers:

ETA: oh..you have a new baby? Congrats!
Cherish each day :joy:

[Annalouise]

Just need to offloads as I'm feeling so down about my hair, I'm so angry at the hairdressers for damaging it so severely, I'm angry at myself for having bleached and dyed it for so long and I'm so down that its going to take so long for all the healthy stuff to grow out and that in the meantime I'm living in fear of it all snapping off. iv got afew tiny hairs that are shorter than my roots that iv just noticed (they look to be just at the front on my hairline) could that be regrowth and iv only noticed it because I'm so aware of my hair or is it snapped hair :( I'm sat here crying my eyes out, feel so down about it, I fear I'm going to have to have it cut to the roots and that would kill all my confidence and would not suit me at all :-( I feel like no one close to me can understand because they aren't in this situation, they don't have to live with it, I feel so alone with it, I'm devastated, I know you will all understand more than most how your crown and glory can make you feel like this. :(

The damage is done and there is nothing you can do about it. It's over. Please don't cry over spilled milk. This is a lesson for you in what *not to do to the hair. And now you've been there and done that and its all forward and upward now! One mistake is behind you and you'll never do that again.
I had a pixie cut once and I liked it. I don't think it would be a crime if you chopped your hair off. If it is that badly damaged that the sight of it sends shivers down your spine then maybe you should think about starting fresh.
I know that is probably impossible because lets face it, most women would be horrified to have a short haircut!..:p
Hun, there is nothing you can do about it now. It's a hard lesson but its over and just put it behind you. Why don't you do something like take a personal vow to yourself to never put harsh chemicals on your head again. Make it a NEW PAGE in your life. Celebrate your transition to NATURAL haircare. And to health and beauty the natural way! :toast:
They say when life gives you lemons make lemon vodka! (just kidding).
And another thing you could do is do exercises to cultivate beauty on the inside! (Since your hair will be out of commission for a while).
Be happy you have a baby also. I am an infertile woman who will NEVER know the joy of having a child.
So count your blessings ok sweetie. It will all turn out fine. Just be patient.

[Mrstran]

The damage is done and there is nothing you can do about it. It's over. Please don't cry over spilled milk. This is a lesson for you in what *not to do to the hair. And now you've been there and done that and its all forward and upward now! One mistake is behind you and you'll never do that again.
I had a pixie cut once and I liked it. I don't think it would be a crime if you chopped your hair off. If it is that badly damaged that the sight of it sends shivers down your spine then maybe you should think about starting fresh.
I know that is probably impossible because lets face it, most women would be horrified to have a short haircut!..:p
Hun, there is nothing you can do about it now. It's a hard lesson but its over and just put it behind you. Why don't you do something like take a personal vow to yourself to never put harsh chemicals on your head again. Make it a NEW PAGE in your life. Celebrate your transition to NATURAL haircare. And to health and beauty the natural way! :toast:
They say when life gives you lemons make lemon vodka! (just kidding).
And another thing you could do is do exercises to cultivate beauty on the inside! (Since your hair will be out of commission for a while).
Be happy you have a baby also. I am an infertile woman who will NEVER know the joy of having a child.
So count your blessings ok sweetie. It will all turn out fine. Just be patient.


I couldn't agree more! I fried my hair and swore off dyes, heat, ect for good. Though I dreaded cutting my hair, I did it. I had layers cut into it (after my own failed attempt) and now look for splits to trim on my own. I take care of my hair with oils n'such and am extra careful. I started all of this the last few days of September. Now I'm just playing the waiting game :)

[mermaid lullaby]

Hang in there sweetie!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Yes, hang in there! Your hair is growing, and getting longer (and better) every day. It may not looks as bad to others as you think it does. :grouphug:

[lapushka]

From your previous posts on this forum lately, I think you're obsessing a little bit *too* much over your hair, and that's not good. Rest assured, it will grow back in nicely, even after baby. You just need to learn to be patient, and that's a tough one! But nobody said it was going to be easy.

Nightshade has a great article on here about how to grow out damaged hair. Might want to check that out. Maybe Nightshade can even link it for you, if she has the time.

Happy growing! :flower:

[hopefulred]

From your posts it sounds like panic mode has started...take a deep breath and relax (((Hugs)))

You saw a stylist and they gave you advice....and a cut; now just let it be..... until your next trim/cut.

Over thinking = worrying needlessly, and doing treatments that may cause issues you never had.

It will take time to grow healthy hair back to the length you want; try to be patient.

Just do a general hair health check and address the obvious (dryness etc); it may change as your hair condition improves....be flexible.
You will grow new hair and lose some naturally....we all do.

Get some cute accessories to bling it up and vary the style as it grows out.

Enjoy each stage of regrowth (even the short ones)....celebrate milestones...get on with life :flowers:

ETA: oh..you have a new baby? Congrats!
Cherish each day :joy:

Thankyou he is 6weeks old X surely the damaged hair won't effect the new healthy growth as the Virgin growth has had no colour or heat on it what so ever so surely it will stay strong and just the damaged hair will snap?? I'm under no illusion that the damaged hair will get better but I just wanted to maintain it long enough til my healthy hair grows through long enough to have a layer bob of virgin hair cut in

[Eastbound&Down]

Just need to offloads as I'm feeling so down about my hair, I'm so angry at the hairdressers for damaging it so severely, I'm angry at myself for having bleached and dyed it for so long and I'm so down that its going to take so long for all the healthy stuff to grow out and that in the meantime I'm living in fear of it all snapping off. iv got afew tiny hairs that are shorter than my roots that iv just noticed (they look to be just at the front on my hairline) could that be regrowth and iv only noticed it because I'm so aware of my hair or is it snapped hair :( I'm sat here crying my eyes out, feel so down about it, I fear I'm going to have to have it cut to the roots and that would kill all my confidence and would not suit me at all :-( I feel like no one close to me can understand because they aren't in this situation, they don't have to live with it, I feel so alone with it, I'm devastated, I know you will all understand more than most how your crown and glory can make you feel like this. :(

Congrats on your LO, I had my second little boy 6 months ago, they are little bundles of joy and they grow so fast! You're new to this forum, and it's easy to become a little obsessed at first, I remember doing the same thing when I first joined. Just breath and take a step back. I saw your other posts and your new growth looks beautiful, just give it time. Unfortunately there is no "fast" option to hair growth and you will need to be patient. For now, I say do some deep treatments, put it in a bun and get down on the floor with LO and enjoy him!

[Groovy Granny]

Thankyou he is 6weeks old X surely the damaged hair won't effect the new healthy growth as the Virgin growth has had no colour or heat on it what so ever so surely it will stay strong and just the damaged hair will snap?? I'm under no illusion that the damaged hair will get better but I just wanted to maintain it long enough til my healthy hair grows through long enough to have a layer bob of virgin hair cut in

Awww, that's awesome;I am so happy for you!

Most likely it is just the damaged hair you are seeing.

Occasionally splits can travel up the hair shaft, but seeing you are trimming....it shouldn't be a problem.

Many people have been in your shoes and ended up with a head full of healthy hair.
It is the slow process that gets to people....but you will survive...as they did :)

Enjoy every stage of your baby; they grow so fast!! :)

[Obsidian]

If your hair was going to snap off, it would be the damaged parts, not the healthy roots.

The little pieces you are seeing is new growth, they kinda freaked me out when I first noticed mine to.

[MysteryGirl44]

Hey,

I'm so sorry for what you going through. I've been there! I just made a thread explaining my hair troubles and my hair was severely damaged from a stylist who didn't know what she was doing. My hair was like straw and these are the products that brought my hair back to life:

Living Proof Restore Shampoo
Living Proof Restore Conditioner
Living Proof Restore Mask Treatment
Living Proof Restore Instant Repair Lotion (I apply this after showers and alrernate with Giovanni leave-in conditioners)
Alterna Caviar Repair RX Re-Texturizing Protein Cream (This product is AMAZING!!! It made a huge difference in my hair. When you are using protein, you need to be moisturizing your hair a lot. I recommend using the Living Proof shampoo and conditioner for a week or two before starting the protein cream)

I also love Giovanni 2Chic Ultra-Moist Shampoo, Conditioer, and leave-in conditioner.

These products will bring your hair back to life

Good luck! Your hair will be healthy in no time :)

[hopefulred]

Obsidian- Really? I do get breakage from the damaged hair (small bits snapping off the ends) which I fully expect because it's so damaged but the hairdresser told me it wouldn't effect the Virgin hair so that's why I freaked out when I saw those short bits that are half the length of my Virgin hair. I know I have to wait out the growing process but it's the prospect of my Virgin hair being effected by the damage when Iv not out any heat or colour on it and it's been totally babied that scares and upsets me

[mizukitty]

A few years ago I dyed my hair black professionally and then tried to bleach it myself. Multiple times. Was like 4, 5 times maybe? All with 40 volume. All within a few weeks. LOL. It was a disaster. However, despite even THAT amount of damage (which grew out a lot sooner than I anticipated, hang in there), my hair did NOT snap. It was weak and mushy in the shower, but I never heard of protein treatments. I didn't go bald overnight, the hair wasn't suddenly 1 inch long. It stayed long until it grew out and didn't melt off or anything. So just baby your hair and keep trimming it. Wash, moisturize, and put it up. And most importantly, BUSY yourself otherwise. Obsessing feels good for a bit, then you get exhausted and it takes its toll.. Been there, many, MANY times. Hugs, girl.

[Obsidian]

Yes, really. Your hairdresser was right, the damaged bits aren't going to affect your virgin growth.
Before I came here. I never really scrutinized my hair but once I started, I found all kinds of things wrong.
I thought the new growth were broken hairs and I got completely paranoid about excess shedding. I was saving and counting every hair for days on end.
I was also worried about my hair growing slow so I started measuring every week. I was driving myself crazy. It got better once I stopped obsessing so much.
I put my hair in a headband and forgot it. Its ok if your hair is messy or not perfect, let it go wild and do it's thing.

[Ciscley]

Hi, logged in to comfort my own hair drama and noticed your post right away. Sending you virtual hair hugs. Venting is healthy and cathartic and even more so when you do it with the right audience. So if you're going to be hair stressed this seems like the best place to be. :)

Like someone earlier said, *Do* mention the stress over your hair to your doctor at your next checkup as postpartum depression is very real and if it's playing a part in what you're feeling no amount of conscious effort to feel better and let it go will help.

That said, I think you should try doing a protective updo like a crown braid or a faux crown braid and do some "taping" to hold it in place so you can go a couple of days without even seeing or touching your hair. Just deep condition or oil it and put it up.

I'm personally a fan of the big chop because I like dramatic change but short hair cuts are hard to maintain (IMO as a 3+ year pixie girl) and making your hair stress free for now seems like a bigger priority.

Pinterest the heck out of some hairstyles and enjoy the imagining the future stage, but try to let actually seeing and touching your hair daily go for a little while. One it's good for your hair and two it will give you some space to approach your hair decisions again once you aren't so raw.

Even new momma's with no recent hair disasters can find dealing with self care difficult in the first year so just give yourself permission to take this off your plate for now.

[Ciscley]

Obsidian- Really? I do get breakage from the damaged hair (small bits snapping off the ends) which I fully expect because it's so damaged but the hairdresser told me it wouldn't effect the Virgin hair so that's why I freaked out when I saw those short bits that are half the length of my Virgin hair.

The virgin hair being the root length of your damaged hair, correct? Or is it just sections that are separately damaged and some hair is virgin the entire length? Because damage in the ends of hair can travel up to non damaged hair, but it won't travel multiple inches over night, it's something you can stay ahead of with regular trims or S&D missions.

Other ways damaged hair can affect heathy hair is through friction. I have the definition of 1a hair. I don't get tangles unless I have damaged ends that I haven't trimmed and then in sleeping on my hair loose or in wearing it in a bun or braid, the friction of the damaged ends causes tangles and removing those tangles (last time I had long hair was before I knew about the tangle teezer) can damage the otherwise healthy hair.

Likewise over brushing from over worrying about damaged hair can cause damage to healthy hair if not using the right tool for your hair type and in general wearing your hair pulled up in too tight of a damaging style like a ponytail can damage healthy hair and usually when people have lots of damage they wear their hair up in pony's often.

I'm posting these not because I think that's what's going on with your hair. I think Obsidian is 100% correct and it's just new growth. I'm just posting so if you are still worried you can avoid even the remotest possibility of your damaged hair impacting your healthy hair.

Put it up in a protective style, don't over brush or wash it and celebrate all the short new baby hair.

[hopefulred]

The virgin hair being the root length of your damaged hair, correct? Or is it just sections that are separately damaged and some hair is virgin the entire length? Because damage in the ends of hair can travel up to non damaged hair, but it won't travel multiple inches over night, it's something you can stay ahead of with regular trims or S&D missions.

Other ways damaged hair can affect heathy hair is through friction. I have the definition of 1a hair. I don't get tangles unless I have damaged ends that I haven't trimmed and then in sleeping on my hair loose or in wearing it in a bun or braid, the friction of the damaged ends causes tangles and removing those tangles (last time I had long hair was before I knew about the tangle teezer) can damage the otherwise healthy hair.

Likewise over brushing from over worrying about damaged hair can cause damage to healthy hair if not using the right tool for your hair type and in general wearing your hair pulled up in too tight of a damaging style like a ponytail can damage healthy hair and usually when people have lots of damage they wear their hair up in pony's often.

I'm posting these not because I think that's what's going on with your hair. I think Obsidian is 100% correct and it's just new growth. I'm just posting so if you are still worried you can avoid even the remotest possibility of your damaged hair impacting your healthy hair.

Put it up in a protective style, don't over brush or wash it and celebrate all the short new baby hair.

The damaged hair is attached to the Virgin hair, so I'm growing out the damaged hair, I have 3cm of Virgin root hair growth that is attached to the rest of the over processed damaged hair. The hairdresser said that the damage will not travel up the hair shaft to the new hair growing out but that over time the damaged ends will just snap off but it won't effect my Virgin hair that's growing through

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Hi
You have come to the right place. All around you have received so much love and support.

The only thing I can add is try not to focus on the thing that makes you feel bad in this case it is your hair. Start a gratitude journal and write down 1 or 3 things each day that you are grateful for. As your hair is a part of you and it may be difficult to not notice it. Hopefully this will help uplift your spirit.

Also regular DT'S will help during this period.

Congratulations on your baby. I am sending lots of love and a cuddle your way.

[hopefulred]

I am having regular trims but the splits are no better when Iv had them. S & Ds won't do anything because I'd end up cutting all the damaged hair off and have just my roots left which is what I'm fearing I'm going to have to do to save the hair that's growing through ;-(

What is DT?

[missrandie]

Deep treatment.

[OhSuzi]

I’ve seen pictures you have posted on your other threads and you’re an attractive lady and whilst you may notice that your hair is damaged, it doesn’t look it to me on the pics. It looks like a honey blonde long bob, yep there’s some reddy roots, but lots of people have roots & the colours together are quite cool and the more of the roots that come through, well that means you’ve got more healthy natural virgin hair growing.

Maybe you could deliberately put your hair in ridiculous styles / try on a crazy awful wig or go on one of those apps where you can change up your hairstyle or look at people who’ve genuinely fried off their hair with a perm gone wrong or other major disasters – so you can put into perspective that your hair is totally normal and have a giggle at yourself with crazy messy mini bunches all over sticking out at odd angles, or breathe a sigh of relief that you don’t have an 80s dynasty giant perm.
You could have a fiddle with the hair apps and try out an all auburn bob or whatever you fancy so you have an idea of the hair goal you’re aiming to reach.
Or read of other peoples disasters on here and see that they got through it
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=135341
this lady thought her hair was ruined, she’s just posted pictures 1 year later and its gorgeous!


And Ok so you’ve damaged your hair with bleach and it’s never going to be as good condition as the virgin hair, but it will still improve every day that you leave it alone and don’t add any more dye / bleach, every time you give it a trim, every time it has a deep condition you’re improving the condition.
It may be slow, it may not be instantaneous, but every day your hair is growing longer and healthier. You may not think it’s perfect right now, but it’s temporary, hair grows and it will continue to improve!

I have not had a baby and I am not a doctor, so I don’t know if you have or don’t have postnatal depression – the fact you have such intense feelings and anxiety about your hair is definitely something worth mentioning to your doctor/midwife. I imagine that if it’s not postnatal depression it is still very natural to feel a knock in your confidence as a mum. You’re going to get tired, which can exaggerate any emotion you do feel, you’re not going to concentrate so much on your own health and well being, you have to spend all your time looking after a baby and you get covered in puke and poop and you don’t have time to worry about what you’re wearing & doing your hair in a perfect hairstyle, you are stuck indoors all day – generally it sounds like hard work and I can see how easily mums could get run down and feel a bit rubbish about everything!
So maybe just asking for some help from family / friends / a baby sitter / another new mum you might have gotten to know so you can get some time just for you, for extra sleep or a nice relaxing bath, pamper yourself for a day and put on some make up and get dressed for a meal or something fun that you’d look forward to – coffee and a cake with a friend / bunjee jumping with a partner / a family bbq etc. it might help you to feel a bit better about yourself / your hair again.

Also healthy diet and exercise! – Exercise releases endorphins, makes you feel good in general and about yourself, it also helps you get fitter / more toned and according to people on here better health in diet and exercise can do wonders for your hair growth and condition.
Also a coping mechanism for when you are feeling particularly stressed / anxious or got locked into worrying about your hair or anything really - take a deep breath and look around the room and slowly list 5 to 10 inanimate objects – door, coffee table, table mat, magazine, carpet etc. It’s very difficult to get emotional about a lampshade or whatever – it’s a distraction technique to help you stop being preoccupied.

[hopefulred]

Honestly I know everyone is trying to help but I really don't have pnd, the reason I feel so down is that all my hair is snapping and damaged and I'm worried about the regrowth being effected. Has anyone seen a tricologist? I think I'm going to go and see one and see what they say, I really think they will say I need to get it cut right down to the 3cm virgin hair because it's so damaged. The ends are like those fibre optic lights you get and there's lots of breakage all the way up my hair, it's so bad. I'm fine with the colour of my natural hair and excited it's growing but the fact I have to start from scratch at 31years old upsets me so much and I really don't have the bone structure for such short hair but I suppose il just have to buy a wig to wear till it's grown out more

[OhSuzi]

I don't believe that your damaged hair is likely to affect your natural regrowth at the moment, maybe by the time you only have like half an inch of bleached hair left and its still damaged and split endy, then it might reach your virgin hair.
But I guess you'll have to decide which would cause you more worry and distress,
keeping your hair long and constantly worrying that it will damage any new growth,
or having a pixie crop and growing it out.
If you decide the hair cut is worth it - Lots of people get emotional losing that much hair in one chop and worry that they 'look like a boy' - but you'd look great with a crop, they're edgy and trendy. Google some short pixie crops for inspiration they all look super cool.

Whilst it feels like forever growing out, look at other peoples hair growing out diaries, in one month it will be a shaggier pixie, in three months it'll be ear length, 5 - 7 months you could prob get to about chin length presto chango you're in bob territory already - someone said to me make an L shape with your finger and thumb - see that distance between them - it's very roughly about 6 inches - hold that up to the short part of your hair that's roughly how long it's going to grow in a year. A year will fly by especially if you have young babies to look after.

[Connemara]

Theres loads of great advice in this thread!

I've also gone through the bleach damage blues too, and it can seem overwhelming growing out damaged hair. I fully sympathise with you about how demoralizing that it can. My hair was bleached to oblivion, and fried from heat tools when I began my hair journey. So much that every time it was wet it's texture became similar to gummy cotton wool, when dry it also had a halo of breakage and white blonde frizz and blown out ends. I never did a big chop as the damage of the last bleaching left me with a horrific collarbone length chemical haircut. I babied my hair, giving it protein and moisture as needed which helped the texture greatly. Though I did maintain bra strap length for a while to get rid of some of the less attractive ends. Braids, buns, and protective styling help a lot too, keeping hair up and out the way will minimise further damage. It also helped because once I learned a few styles people even started complimenting my hair again and I didn't have to look at the damage either.

Here's the good news, as others have said, the damage will not travel up or affect your regrowth. All hair from scalp to toes grows in cycles, so some of the tiny hairs poking through are just starting their growth cycle, replacing the hairs we shed naturally. They're a good sign! It means your hair is growing :D It'll take some time but your hair will get there!

[vampyyri]

Oh I feel your pain!! :grouphug: I was there myself when I had to damage the crud out of my hair to get it from dark auburn back to my natural color.

Just be sure to baby your hair, it won't just snap off if you treat your hair like delicate antique lace. Just be sure to get a good balance of protein to moisture and it should bounce back well enough to grow it out and trim as you go. Try your best to stay away from brushing to reduce mechanical damage too, perhaps try fingercombing for a while to cut down on breakage.

Don't feel too bad, a lot of us here have had our share of horror stories as well, you're not alone :flower:

[JaneHathaway]

Rather than gently tiptoeing around the elephant in the room, let me try kicking that sucker in the shins. This will be blunt, but comes from a place of concern for your overall wellbeing.

While your hair's damage would be upsetting to anyone, I wonder if the worry, thought, time, possibly money, and consultations with various professionals have overtaken other important facets of your life. Is this looming disproportionately large compared to other things that need your attention and would bring you joy and satisfaction?

Except for time, there are no ideal solutions (to the best of my knowledge) to your current hair problem. IMO, you have 2 options: A) go for a very short cut and get rid of most of the damage or B) baby your length, finding styles that protect/get it out of your sight, and trimming out the damage gradually.

Neither of these will be very satisfactory to you, I realize, but it's the unfortunate reality that you're in, and it's my thought that choosing one and getting on with it may be the positive jumpstart you need.

Whichever you choose, you'll be further along a year from now than if you spend a lot more time agonizing over it.

I hope you don't find my remarks unkind. You're a young woman and time flies; I hate to think that life's sweetness and joys may be passing by, unnoticed, while you're in such distress about your hair.

[Groovy Granny]

wrong thread

[hopefulred]

The damage is done and there is nothing you can do about it. It's over. Please don't cry over spilled milk. This is a lesson for you in what *not to do to the hair. And now you've been there and done that and its all forward and upward now! One mistake is behind you and you'll never do that again.
I had a pixie cut once and I liked it. I don't think it would be a crime if you chopped your hair off. If it is that badly damaged that the sight of it sends shivers down your spine then maybe you should think about starting fresh.
I know that is probably impossible because lets face it, most women would be horrified to have a short haircut!..:p
Hun, there is nothing you can do about it now. It's a hard lesson but its over and just put it behind you. Why don't you do something like take a personal vow to yourself to never put harsh chemicals on your head again. Make it a NEW PAGE in your life. Celebrate your transition to NATURAL haircare. And to health and beauty the natural way! :toast:
They say when life gives you lemons make lemon vodka! (just kidding).
And another thing you could do is do exercises to cultivate beauty on the inside! (Since your hair will be out of commission for a while).
Be happy you have a baby also. I am an infertile woman who will NEVER know the joy of having a child.
So count your blessings ok sweetie. It will all turn out fine. Just be patient.

Thankyou for this post Hun you really hit the nail on the head, and it has really helped me, it's such a horrid situation but there's nothing I can do about it, it's out of my control and all I can do it get on with my life. I definatly will never be putting any bleach or colour on it ever again!!! Hopefully before I know it it will have grown out and will all be healthy virgin hair and in the mean time I have my gorgeous family to focus on, I am extreamly lucky that despite fertility issues and 4years of trying we have got out second little miracle, so two gorgeous boys which we feared we would never have. This with my hair is a temporary thing compared to the many years of joy I have ahead of me with my sons and partner. Thankyou honey for your post and I'm so sorry to hear that you are infertile, hugs

[Hailwidis]

Thankyou for this post Hun you really hit the nail on the head, and it has really helped me, it's such a horrid situation but there's nothing I can do about it, it's out of my control and all I can do it get on with my life. I definatly will never be putting any bleach or colour on it ever again!!! Hopefully before I know it it will have grown out and will all be healthy virgin hair and in the mean time I have my gorgeous family to focus on, I am extreamly lucky that despite fertility issues and 4years of trying we have got out second little miracle, so two gorgeous boys which we feared we would never have. This with my hair is a temporary thing compared to the many years of joy I have ahead of me with my sons and partner. Thankyou honey for your post and I'm so sorry to hear that you are infertile, hugs

:grouphug:

You're on the right track now, and if you don't think about it too much before you know it your hair's condition will be improving in leaps and bounds. :)

Congrats on your lovely family.

[Annalouise]

Thankyou for this post Hun you really hit the nail on the head, and it has really helped me, it's such a horrid situation but there's nothing I can do about it, it's out of my control and all I can do it get on with my life. I definatly will never be putting any bleach or colour on it ever again!!! Hopefully before I know it it will have grown out and will all be healthy virgin hair and in the mean time I have my gorgeous family to focus on, I am extreamly lucky that despite fertility issues and 4years of trying we have got out second little miracle, so two gorgeous boys which we feared we would never have. This with my hair is a temporary thing compared to the many years of joy I have ahead of me with my sons and partner. Thankyou honey for your post and I'm so sorry to hear that you are infertile, hugs

Thank you for the "hugs". :flower: Things don't always turn out the way we want them to, unfortunately. But c'est la vie!

[hopefulred]

From your previous posts on this forum lately, I think you're obsessing a little bit *too* much over your hair, and that's not good. Rest assured, it will grow back in nicely, even after baby. You just need to learn to be patient, and that's a tough one! But nobody said it was going to be easy.

Nightshade has a great article on here about how to grow out damaged hair. Might want to check that out. Maybe Nightshade can even link it for you, if she has the time.

Happy growing! :flower:

Thankyou where would I find the article?

[hopefulred]

Just a thought but do you think if it's breakage at the front which I think it is could it be because Iv been using the redken protein treatments (I have been finishing with a moisturising conditioner) but the virgin part of my hair doesn't need the protein so it's breaking because of that as surely it will have different needs than the damaged hair?

[littlestarface]

Just a thought but do you think if it's breakage at the front which I think it is could it be because Iv been using the redken protein treatments (I have been finishing with a moisturising conditioner) but the virgin part of my hair doesn't need the protein so it's breaking because of that as surely it will have different needs than the damaged hair?

I doubt that part is breaking, we all have those tiny hairs all over our heads, me alone has so many little hair and it's definitely not breakage. It depends on what your hair likes honestly, I use very strong protein and moisture treatments for extreme damaged hair but I do not have any damage at all never dyed no heat nothing and my hair loves this stuff, it's like crack for my hair just drinks it up and keeps it healthy and strong.

[spidermom]

Those short bits are new hairs. You grow in new hairs every single day of your life, but you don't notice them unless they're right at your hairline or part. Believe you me, we all have them whether we've damaged our hair or not. Celebrate them! They are your future long hairs.

I think you must have a bit of postpartum depression going on. It doesn't seem natural to obsess this much over a hair disaster.

[missmelaniem]

When I stopped coloring my gray hair I had a LOT of new hair growth, especially in the front where I had to apply color constantly to keep the gray covered. I was shocked at how much had grown in, but grow it has.

My favorite bit of advice that has already been stated in this thread is to condition, put it up/protect it and then forget about it... let it grow... baby it, but honestly if its going to break its going to. I wouldn't cut it, just trim tiny trims occasionally. deep condition/moisturize it ... oil it. Focus on that new baby and your hair will be grown out before you know it! Time will pass anyway... please dont spend it stressing about your hair.

[firevegan]

I understand completely. I was in the same boat 9 months ago with long severely bleached and damaged hair that was snapping off. I shaved my head, and now I have enough hair to feel good again. The 9 months just rolled right on by because I wore hats and enjoyed growing my hair out virgin. On the bright side, if you DO have to chop it to the roots, (which I highly doubt you do) it's not nearly as bad as it is perceived to be and can be a life changing experience. I gained real confidence from doing this and I'm excited to grow my hair out natural. I looked awful bald and growing it out but it was not nearly as bad as I thought the day I cried my eyes out shaving my head. Protein treatments and cassia can help strengthen your hair but if you need a fresh start, it's not so bad.

[lapushka]

Thankyou where would I find the article?

I can't seem to find it. Is it still here?

[spidermom]

I can't remember if this was mentioned in your multiple threads, but I've been told that olive oil is the holy grail for preserving overprocessed hair. You could apply then braid and tuck it all under a beautiful scarf. Don't wash too often. There are a lot of attractive scarf wraps you could potentially learn to do; check YouTube.

I really doubt that your hair is going to break off all the way into your new growth, especially if you're getting regular trims, and it sounds like you are.

[hopefulred]

I can't remember if this was mentioned in your multiple threads, but I've been told that olive oil is the holy grail for preserving overprocessed hair. You could apply then braid and tuck it all under a beautiful scarf. Don't wash too often. There are a lot of attractive scarf wraps you could potentially learn to do; check YouTube.

I really doubt that your hair is going to break off all the way into your new growth, especially if you're getting regular trims, and it sounds like you are.

Sorry I didn't mean to overload with posts :-( No I don't think olive oil has been mentioned but I will replace my argan oil with that. I'm going to see a trichologist on Tuesday so I will know for definite if the damage is effecting my new hair growth and if I need to do the big chop. Sorry if I have gone on about it I'm just devastated about it and felt people on here would understand and I could share how I'm feeling. Sorry

[Anje]

Don't necessarily throw out your argan oil. Oils are an EXTREMELY individual thing, and everyone has their favorite(s), and their favorite time and way to apply them (including not at all).

I like a couple drops applied to my hair after I've let a towel absorb the water from washing, before I detangle it. This seems to be about the best way to oil for me and my hair, right now. I've got several oils I like, but the brand new one is burdock. :)

Other people like it applied for a while before they shampoo, and another contingent has lately been raving about applying it in the shower between shampoo and conditioner. A few years ago, people on this forum were thrilled about mixing oil with their shampoo. There's a lot of trial and error, and no true way. Figure out what you like, make a note of it, and return to it if later experiments aren't doing it for you.