Does beautiful hair = the longer the better?

[spidermom]

I've been caught up in that thinking for the last several years. The longer hair gets, the more likely someone is to get comments like awesome and :thudpile: . Even when I felt with every fiber of my being that I was ready for a shorter style, I resisted (until last week) because I wanted to be among the LHC "elite".

[lapushka]

Yes, I've noticed this reaction from some posters around here. Some people just won't say anything when the hair is shorter (and that is beautiful too), but they will form one heck of a thudpile when hair is beyond classic length. Out of the woodwork they come. I honestly find it a bit repulsive. Also, it is *really* obvious! It is also one of the reasons (I had more than one reason) that I have stopped posting pictures beyond TBL. I didn't want to be gawked at. Sorry, but: no!

I make it a point to react very diversely. I think that is the respectful thing to do, as well. :)

Hair doesn't have to be long to be beautiful.

[vampyyri]

Hair doesn't have to be long to be beautiful.

Exactly ^

I do notice love all around on here because this is an amazing community, but the shorties don't get enough love!

[lapushka]

Exactly ^

I do notice love all around on here because this is an amazing community, but the shorties don't get enough love!

That's exactly how I feel! :) It should be the same kind of "admiration" for all lengths of hair. Sadly, that isn't the case.

[Nique1202]

There is a lot of that reaction on the LHC, especially hair past classic gets a lot more attention in that way, but I have to say, I've seen some totally thud-worthy hair even at apl and midback. Manes I'm jealous of even though I'm approaching tailbone. I keep thinking, "If I felt like my hair looked like that when it was that length I'd probably have maintained there" because it's true! I've also seen some styles at shoulder and shorter that I'm totally jealous of, even if I don't know if they're quite thud-worthy in the same way.

(And that's not even getting into the human need for validation and approval, and how when you only see people fawning over classic length hair but you're not there yet, it can feel really bad when you maybe don't really WANT that length of hair just to feel like your hair looks pretty. There's a whole lot of psychology at work there! Too bad I'm not good enough with words to say it better.)

It's good to question why you think something is good or bad, whether it's hair related or not. It's easy to get caught up in the length = beauty mindset but we should think about why we feel that way, and whether that should be the kind of beauty in hair that we focus on instead of the style, the cut, the colour, the texture, etc. :blossom:

[Groovy Granny]

Longer hair gets more attention especially if it is extreme ...because it is rare (in my area at least).
Hair is a beautiful,personal expression.... regardless if it is pixie or floor length +
I have seen some extreme lengths that looked like they could use a cut;if it doesn't look nice to me, I don't compliment them just on their length.
There seems to be a mindset with some that you must be long, but I don't agree...and I hope that others will be true to their own likes and personalities.

[MsPharaohMoan]

Interesting! I didn't know you guys had observed that classic+ hair gets more thuds. I guess now that you mention it I see it too but... It's LONG hair community so I guess it makes sense. Either way, I've also seen some gorgeous shorties. To me it's about texture (jealous of you wavies). I like what Lapushka said about being respectful and complimenting diversely :flower:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I was just going to say that it is natural for folks here to love LONG hair, but of course there is so much gorgeous healthy hair here of all lengths. And long unhealthy hair wouldn't be as admired, in my opinion. Of course it is wonderful to compliment and encourage all hair lengths and types. I remember being so awestruck at the classics and knee lengths and longer here when I first joined, I couldn't help but :thudpile: them. Because they are rare to see, I think.

[Deborah]

Many lengths of long hair can be gorgeous. Some of the most beautiful hair I have seen on this list has not been the longest. Also, some of the longest is just long, not always beautiful or even pretty. We like long hair here, but extra long certainly does not always equate to extra beautiful. I think it all comes down to the quality of the hair itself.

[school of fish]

I'll be honest here - I sometimes feel like a bit of a fish out of water on this board for similar reasons that you've stated, spidermom.

I recognize that we each have our own personal reasons for growing or cutting our hair, and I try not to project my own personal standards on others who may have very different motivations and aesthetics. That said, there are plenty of heads of hair here that get thudpiled when length goals are reached yet I silently feel that if it were me I'd be chopping back substantially because aesthetically it's not doing the individual any favours... of course it's not my hair and not my decision, so I just keep those feelings to myself ;)

I also often find myself silently applauding those who have chosen to do a major chop and have fallen in love with their hair again as a result - somehow I guess it takes a certain fortitude to swim upstream against the prevailing current of growth and length goals ;)

lapushka, I think your mandate of reacting diversely is a good one, and I have taken notice that you do it :)

I'm not the most prolific commenter on this forum, but I do attempt to make comments of some quality... so if I offer congratulations it tends to be for someone who has overcome a long-standing obstacle to their goal, or for what I feel is consistently solid advice to other members. When I do offer advice it's generally where I sense that my particular experience may be of help to that particular individual.

Perhaps my feelings are somewhat linked to the fact that I only joined LHC pretty much *after* I'd found my hair routine and approached my own length goal - I had literally lurked about a decade before joining reading and learning and making friends with my hair, and found my way on my own before actually becoming a member ;)

I'm sort of thinking out loud here as I'm writing all of this - you've raised an interesting point to mull over! ;)

[mizukitty]

I don't necessarily think long hair = beautiful hair. Hair can be beautiful at any length, color, texture.. In my opinion, as long as it's healthy and taken care of, it's beautiful. I'm a hair lover in general, so long hair is exceptionally beautiful sometimes, but that's not to say I don't really appreciate shorter hair.

[Hairkay]

Beautiful hair can be any length.

[Cg]

Long is neither beautiful nor ugly. Short is neither beautiful nor ugly.

Well cared for = beautiful whatever the length. Unmaintained = ugly whatever the length.

This is my opinion. Others are allowed their viewpoint too.

[furnival]

Well, this is a site for long hair. Really long hair isn't often seen in real life, so the longer the hair, the more 'Ooh!'s and thudpiles. I don't think that necessarily equates to longer= more beautiful; more like longer= more of a reaction. :shrug:

But anyway, I've been feeling pretty much the same as you spidermom- I've been entertaining half-arsed fantasies of cutting it off but never seriously considered it, because my life revolves around hair toys and without really long hair I'd feel a bit of a fraud. The only time I can let it down is in the morning to let it out of its braid and into its bun, then at night back into a braid. It turns into dreadlocks in minutes otherwise, and even with being bunned or braided 100% of the time it needs a lot of detangling. I get really annoyed at the chorus of 'Ooh!'s and 'Wow!'s if I have to re-do my bun in company, and I've started refusing to let people see how long my hair is because I feel like an exhibit, and I feel resentful of this monstrous scarf of high-maintenance fibres that has to be contained in a big ball attached to the back of my head.
Hair ennui...:headache:

[DaveDecker]

I am a bit wary to respond, in part because I do not wish to be seen as defending the strawman that is being criticized for being excessively enthusiastic about complimenting the very-long haired because, yes, I have done that a number of times, but, in my defense, I also encourage those whose hair is less than very long (see "my activity" for today, for example).

This is not the "Beautiful Hair Community" (per se), although virtually everyone here has hair that is beautiful, too, no matter the current length, this is the "Long Hair Community." Therefore it should be no surprise to anyone participating here that long hair is valued and appreciated at a site with such a name. So we are supportive of those who wish to grow or retain long hair. That said, we also respect individuals' right to wear their hair as they wish, and if a member chooses to go from long to short, then we are at the very least respectful of that choice.

Speaking only for myself, for those who are concerned about "gawking" and other unwanted attention, the "thuds" I give out are just a compact way of saying, "hey, that's awesome, good going, atta-boy (or atta-girl)!" after which point I immediately move on. I guess my point is that I don't think it's safe to assume that there is any lingering attention for anybody or their hair. (This is not a dating website, and besides, the Mod Team does an excellent job of weeding out the creepers.)

More thinking aloud: if you (the general "you") think that the "shorties" aren't getting enough love, then give them the love you feel they deserve. Right? :)

[Mirabele]

That is interesting, i havent noticed that. I dont have impression that everybody likes longest hair, i think it is often progress that is aknowledged and mentioned, no matter the length. I thought length wAs a matter of taste. Long hair is beautiful but to me it doesnt mean the longer the better, imo. To me, the pretiest are BSL to Waist or Hip. I also like wavy and curly hair because it is so different from my 1a. I may admire 1a hair that is similar to mine but longer/ thicker/ shinier or in any way resembles my "dream hair". I assume everyone has different preferences.

[Quixii]

Honestly, I think it's just because it's LHC. The mostly in common goal of all of us is for our hair to get long. Thus when we have seen someone achieve that goal, we think, "Yay!"

I've never connected it to beauty here. Sometimes it's nice, because in person you get a lot of reactions of uncertain value - is that a compliment or are you just remarking because my hair length is unusual? But here, they're generally compliments, and you know it's coming from a place where people appreciate the time and effort you spent getting it there.

Hair can be beautiful at any length, and I've never felt like that wasn't the case here.

[gossamer]

Sigh, I know this wasn't the intention, but I had felt like LHC was a safe space where I could share photos of my hair without being assumed to be begging for attention and compliments, but if the longest heads of hair get disproportionate appreciation and make people feel bad about themselves, I need to rethink my participation in sharing photos. Maybe the point is that sharing photos is itself asking for attention and I need to remember that my hair is for me, not for anyone else.

ETA: also, I'm pretty sure I fall into the category some posters describe as hair that is too long and unhealthy to be beautiful.

[lapushka]

I am a bit wary to respond, in part because I do not wish to be seen as defending the strawman that is being criticized for being excessively enthusiastic about complimenting the very-long haired because, yes, I have done that a number of times, but, in my defense, I also encourage those whose hair is less than very long (see "my activity" for today, for example).

I am not, for the record, singling out anyone in particular. Just criticizing the fact that hair of a certain length gets real thuds and oohs and aahs while shorter, equally beautiful hair is just... it doesn't get much of a reaction, that's the thing. And I know it's the long hair community, but at least some respect for others is *nice* to have, IMMHO. I once had short hair too, and to just be ooh'ed and aah'ed over just for reaching classic length - it wasn't gonna happen. That makes me feel almost... dirty. :lol:

[lapushka]

Sigh, I know this wasn't the intention, but I had felt like LHC was a safe space where I could share photos of my hair without being assumed to be begging for attention and compliments, but if the longest heads of hair get disproportionate appreciation and make people feel bad about themselves, I need to rethink my participation in sharing photos. Maybe the point is that sharing photos is itself asking for attention and I need to remember that my hair is for me, not for anyone else.

ETA: also, I'm pretty sure I fall into the category some posters describe as hair that is too long and unhealthy to be beautiful.

gossamer, that wasn't my intention at all - I didn't intend to make anyone feel bad by commenting, but well... I know why I don't *dare* share my longer hair pictures (and there's other reasons as well), but it's just... yeah... difficult to explain. I get an almost icky feeling with the outbursts of thuds on longer hair, while I see there's a disproportionate reaction there, and shorter hair, even hair at hip or TBL is like almost ignored! While that is long as well, right? :)

[Crystawni]

I'm one who thinks beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which is mostly skewed by personal experiences. And yes, this is a long hair forum, so long hair is appreciated. That said, I'm not one for popularity contests. True beauty shines both inside and out, and that's what drives my thudpiles and inspires my own hairy desires (length, quality, shape, colour, whatever). It's really a fluid thing as I like change, so won't be held to any one opinion, hope or desire. My own self-worth is not tied to my hair or what someone else thinks of it. I'm here to enjoy the journey of the mop--my own and others--long, short or otherwise. Even baby fuzz is beautiful (newborn grandson--aaaaah the softness!). :p

[Nymphe]

I think it is more amazement and inspiration myself; super long hair is a rarity after all. It is the same reason I watch sports, not because I like the sport but because I am fascinated by all the things the human body can do.

[PixieP]

I gotta say I rarely go the most thud at hair longer than tbl. For me, perfect hair length is waist to TBL. Shorter or longer than that, it depends on other factors for me; style, thickness, texture, colour and so on for me to swoon over it. I don't have a specific type of hair I think is prettiest; for my Ellethwyn has some of the prettiest hair I have seen in my entire life, her silky smooth texture and stunning blonde just make me swoon. But I also love curls and waves, blunt ends and fairytales, it's so individual. I don't have one length or texture or colour that I prefer over others as the prettiest.

[Entangled]

I don't think so, Gossamer. You have beautiful hair--I like the color, and the texture is similar to mine. The length is impressive too. It's fun to see your hair posts, because how often do we see floor-length hair in real life? However, if and when you do the cut you've been thinking about, I still think I'll like your hair because I like it for more than its length.

I tend not to give as many compliments, because I'm a critical person, even of my own hair. I also tend to compliment longer hair (hip +) because that is my aesthetic ideal. It's uncommon to see hair that long and that healthy in day to day life. Shorter hair can be beautiful and compliment the wearer. However, I wouldn't be growing my hair to classic length if I didn't find it beautiful on myself and others.

I think healthy hair is beautiful, and most heads of hair are probably near their peak beauty when they are healthy and well treated. However, I find some types and heads of hair more beautiful, not just by how healthy they are. I've noticed I tend to compliment people who either have hair similar to mine, but look like I wish I could look, or hair that is quite different from mine. I tend to compliment hair with less taper, as well as hair that is not in a v cut, as those things aren't my favorite (Sigh...taper is becoming unavoidable on my own hair. I hope I grow to like it and/or the thickness travels down my length). I'm also not a huge fan of burgundy/cranberry colored hair. I let others who do love those qualities give those compliments. Those traits can all be beautiful. I think it's just different strokes for different folks.

Yes, longer hair gets more compliments here. I think that's two-fold--one specifically from people with shorter hair looking at others for their "hair goals," and one from the members in general who like longer hair and compliment the hair they like. It takes time and dedication to have extra long, healthy hair. Shorter hair tends to get "you're getting so far!" because there is a culture of supporting the growing rather than cutting process here, while longer hair tends to get "wow!" and a thud pile because long length does make hair stand out.

ETA: in summation, length is one of hair's many qualities. However, in a place more about growing than cutting, length gets more compliments because the length of the hair increases its "beauty" value to many people here (it's a common reason for growing one's hair, though not the only.)

[BookishRay]

Longer doesn't equal more beautiful.

I think the longer hair generally gets more/bigger reactions because for some people it is a visible achievement of their own personal goal. It isn't that the hair is more beautiful than shorter hair, but in most cases it does indicate a lot of time an effort invested. Of course, for those with a short terminal length, that prefer shorter lengths, or issues that prevent longer lengths, they very well may have invested just as much time an effort on their APL (or whatever length) hair as the Classic length, but it isn't as visible a result.

[JadedByEntropy]

...

I make it a point to react very diversely. I think that is the respectful thing to do, as well. :)

Hair doesn't have to be long to be beautiful.


I felt very welcome on LHC due to your gracious encouragement (on all boards) as i slowly got to hip and eventually fingertip. So thank you lapushka!

I like the segregated boards for each goal-length because everyone is very complimentary to everyone within that little cluster of friends all growing to the same place. of course, more congrats come out as people graduate those boards.. which i think is natural as we reach goals. And i have found hardly a 'welcome' as the shortest on a new board. but it does take a minute to make new friends anyway!!! I think these forums have only been positive experience for me. LHC seeded a flexi habit, but overall i'm not complaining xD haha

I did however find in the real world the reaction Spidermom is referring to. actually, much worse than it is here. While my poofy kinky hair needs length in the real world to get any compliments (and then immediate orders to straighten it)...i also found when i passed classic the comments changed to freak-show level aw rather than genuineness. The creepers also came out of the woodwork and i found myself greatly relieved when i cut back and the creeper comments stopped.
I haven't encountered any of that on here though! <3

yall have been amazing!

.I have a liking for particular colors or hem lines, but length doesn't usually cause me to think it is beautiful or not. I've been most envious of people who can pull off < shoulder styles...because i certainly cannot!

[HairPlease]

I gotta say I rarely go the most thud at hair longer than tbl. For me, perfect hair length is waist to TBL. Shorter or longer than that, it depends on other factors for me; style, thickness, texture, colour and so on for me to swoon over it. I don't have a specific type of hair I think is prettiest; for my Ellethwyn has some of the prettiest hair I have seen in my entire life, her silky smooth texture and stunning blonde just make me swoon. But I also love curls and waves, blunt ends and fairytales, it's so individual. I don't have one length or texture or colour that I prefer over others as the prettiest.

I definitely can say I agree completely with this. Waist to TBL is where my brain clicks. I like the look, shape, and the way it falls, no matter the texture or thickness, between or at those lengths. If I see shorter hair with a color or texture I like, I'll compliment it. Same goes for super-duper-crazy long hair. I make an effort to appreciate the beauty of quality hair in general length regardless, but I will admit I am human and have my preferences, as with all things in life.

[JaneHathaway]

Sigh, I know this wasn't the intention, but I had felt like LHC was a safe space where I could share photos of my hair without being assumed to be begging for attention and compliments, but if the longest heads of hair get disproportionate appreciation and make people feel bad about themselves, I need to rethink my participation in sharing photos. Maybe the point is that sharing photos is itself asking for attention and I need to remember that my hair is for me, not for anyone else.

ETA: also, I'm pretty sure I fall into the category some posters describe as hair that is too long and unhealthy to be beautiful.

As a newbie, maybe I shouldn't jump into this fray, but I don't believe the OP or any subsequent posters insinuated that those posting photos are attention-seeking or compliment-fishing.

[spidermom]

As a newbie, maybe I shouldn't jump into this fray, but I don't believe the OP or any subsequent posters insinuated that those posting photos are attention-seeking or compliment-fishing.

Right. I was about to comment in similar fashion. I like to see hair longer than what is common, too, for the novelty of it if nothing else.

I think the word "beautiful" was badly chosen on my part. I was thinking more of a higher level of approval, and yes - this is the long hair community, so appreciation of long hair is to be expected.

Speaking strictly for myself, there is some long hair that I don't like for one reason or another, such as visible damage - my problem with my own former tailbone length hair. Sometimes I see makeover shows where I like the new short style better than the original long style, but a lot of threads have passed through here deeply criticizing such shows for always cutting the hair. So this is what I was thinking about: is shorter ever better (in your opinion)?

[astrid92]

I think that as long as your hair is healthy or looks healthy then it is beautiful whether it be long or short. I have seen some people with impressive length but heavily damaged. And I personally don't think heavily damaged hair is beautiful even if it is super long.

[Crystawni]

Yes, short hair can be better IMO. Face and body shape, skin vs hair colour, hair texture... many variables come into it. We often only see the behind pics on this forum, but how does the long hair suit the person as a whole? Would a bouncy/spiky/fluffy/bald, etc., look be more the go? Personally, I like my hair to soften around my face--draped curtains do me no favours, and neither does a severe updo (although I can get away with a tighter ballerina look). Many of the snapshots we get here really don't tell the whole story, hey.

[littlestarface]

I've been caught up in that thinking for the last several years. The longer hair gets, the more likely someone is to get comments like awesome and :thudpile: . Even when I felt with every fiber of my being that I was ready for a shorter style, I resisted (until last week) because I wanted to be among the LHC "elite".

How short did u cut it?

[LillithTheFirst]

To me hair is beautiful when it is healthy and well maintained. I've seen photos of past classic hair that looks horridly damaged... I've seen short hair that is horridly damaged... I find neither beautiful. If hair is healthy and long then I will get into the pile because it takes a lot of consistent care over years which is more of what I admire than the hair itself if that makes sense...?

[ravenheather]

As a newbie, maybe I shouldn't jump into this fray, but I don't believe the OP or any subsequent posters insinuated that those posting photos are attention-seeking or compliment-fishing.


I agree. I think the attention that longer hair gets is quite often from those of us shorter who are hoping to get there. I would be sad if less beautiful super long hair pics were posted.

[DaveDecker]

Right. I was about to comment in similar fashion. I like to see hair longer than what is common, too, for the novelty of it if nothing else.

I think the word "beautiful" was badly chosen on my part. I was thinking more of a higher level of approval, and yes - this is the long hair community, so appreciation of long hair is to be expected.

Speaking strictly for myself, there is some long hair that I don't like for one reason or another, such as visible damage - my problem with my own former tailbone length hair. Sometimes I see makeover shows where I like the new short style better than the original long style, but a lot of threads have passed through here deeply criticizing such shows for always cutting the hair. So this is what I was thinking about: is shorter ever better (in your opinion)?

To me, that's an entirely different topic. Among the reasons I generally dislike makeover shows:

1. The stylists almost always cut off more hair than is necessary to make the hair looks its best.

2. The stylists are oftentimes dismissive or critical of the client.

3. Their bias in favor of shorter lengths of hair. The presentations usually involve intentional downgrading of the clients before appearance, and do non-hair things to amp up their appearance (better clothes, makeup, accessories, lighting, happy mood). Oftentimes it's not that the "after" hair looks better, more that the person is otherwise more put-together. I often think, "gee, if all they'd done was shape up the hair (trim a bit), style it, and done everything else? You'd still have achieved a striking transformation - and kept the -- yes -- beautiful long hair."

[gossamer]

As a newbie, maybe I shouldn't jump into this fray, but I don't believe the OP or any subsequent posters insinuated that those posting photos are attention-seeking or compliment-fishing.

I didn't intend to suggest that this is what the OPs and subsequent posters meant, either. Allow me to clarify, now that I am at a keyboard instead of on my phone, by annotating my original comment.


Sigh, I know this wasn't the intention, but I had felt like LHC was a safe space where I could share photos of my hair without being assumed to be begging for attention and compliments,
This relates not to the thread here, but to how I feel when posting photos of my hair elsewhere online. I have elsewhere on this board expressed reservations about taking and posting hair photos because I have been concerned about this, being perceived as needy, and had been reassured that since it's a hair community, that's what we're here for anyway. I am trying to find where I posted at length about this, but having trouble finding it now. Anyway, I admire people who are fearless about frequently posting pictures of themselves because they feel awesome and want to share that. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it is ok to do so too.


but if the longest heads of hair get disproportionate appreciation and make people feel bad about themselves, I need to rethink my participation in sharing photos.
I've bolded the above because that's really the main point of my post. I, carelessly, hadn't considered that the reactions that I was getting to my hair photos might make other members at LHC feel slighted or less than others. Now that know that the effusive comments that I sometimes get in response to photos I post on my anniversary threads or the photo sharing thread causes pain and discomfort to other members, I'll be more careful, maybe posting them only to my blog so that only people who have chosen to be my friends can see them if they want.


Maybe the point is that sharing photos is itself asking for attention and I need to remember that my hair is for me, not for anyone else.
In feeling sad about now having major qualms about posting any more hair pictures in the only place I felt safe doing so, (and I've made my albums private now, so that should help), I wrote this line more as a reminder to myself than anything else. If I'm feeling sad that I now have reservations about future posts, why is it that I'm feeling sad? Probably because I liked the compliments, and I need to remember that I'm not growing hair for compliments, but growing it because I like it.


ETA: also, I'm pretty sure I fall into the category some posters describe as hair that is too long and unhealthy to be beautiful.

It's true, I have been S&Ding a lot lately and still finding lots of splits, including in the short terminal length hairs right around my forehead. I saw in a number of posts above complaints about thudpiles forming only because of length, not because of clearly healthy hair or nice looking hemlines. I absolutely fall into that category. I need a cut, but the feelings about it are complicated, as I've written at length about elsewhere.

Dear all, I'm sorry if the attention that I've attracted when posting photos has hurt your feelings or made you feel like your hair is not beautiful. Please know that I posted them carelessly and will be more concerned about the feelings they might cause in the future, should I share anything with the forum.

[Vallena]

Sigh, I know this wasn't the intention, but I had felt like LHC was a safe space where I could share photos of my hair without being assumed to be begging for attention and compliments, but if the longest heads of hair get disproportionate appreciation and make people feel bad about themselves, I need to rethink my participation in sharing photos. Maybe the point is that sharing photos is itself asking for attention and I need to remember that my hair is for me, not for anyone else.

ETA: also, I'm pretty sure I fall into the category some posters describe as hair that is too long and unhealthy to be beautiful.

Please don't stop sharing your hair photos! I find your posts inspiring as we have similar hair types.

[Vallena]

I'd also like to add that I think that "super long" or whatever you would like to call it gets so much attention more because it's rare and exciting, more than it is "superior" to someone else's hair. Some people have beautiful BSL hair, but I get to see that most every day, whereas I have only twice seen someone with classic+ length hair (in person).

[Obsidian]

Sigh, I know this wasn't the intention, but I had felt like LHC was a safe space where I could share photos of my hair without being assumed to be begging for attention and compliments, but if the longest heads of hair get disproportionate appreciation and make people feel bad about themselves, I need to rethink my participation in sharing photos. Maybe the point is that sharing photos is itself asking for attention and I need to remember that my hair is for me, not for anyone else.

ETA: also, I'm pretty sure I fall into the category some posters describe as hair that is too long and unhealthy to be beautiful.

Being a shorty, I feel I need to respond to this. I have never once felt bad about my hair length on this forum and I have never felt that you or the other members are fishing for compliments. Personally, I love seeing your pictures gossamer, you have my favorite hair on the forum. Please don't stop posting pics, you are a inspiration.

I do however sometimes feel like my opinion isn't as important or heeded as much as the long haired members and honestly, I can understand it. I don't necessarily like it, but it does make sense. I don't have the experience with long hair so my opinions aren't the most knowledgeable. I absolutely do not expect or want anyone to cater to me so I don't get hurt feelings (I don't by the way), nor will I cater to others insecurities. I will never purposely be hurtful but I won't sugar coat things to make it all shiny rainbows either.

The one thing that does bother me is the amount of times I've seen people complimented on their hair when its obviously in bad shape. I've seen dry, split, damaged hair ogled over simply because its long. Same with greasy, flaky icky hair. I don't care how long it is or what your fancy bun is, if its dirt or a ratty split mess, its not pretty. I simply leave those threads as I know my opinion is not what is wanted or desired.

I do find it sad when newbies with terribly hair are told how fantastic it looks when come seeking advice on how to "fix" their hair. Instead of getting the help they really need, they get a bunch of overly polite complements instead, especially if their is already long. Makes me wonder if some members truly look at the hair or just look at the overall length.

ETA: I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting compliments. Personally, I want all the compliments. It really helps me feels good about my hair and feeling good about it makes me not want to chop it all off.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I find my own hair to be super unattractive. The photos posted here however motivate me... would hate to have that stop!

[Mimha]

To thud over one's hair doesn't mean you admire it (at least from my point of view) : it means you find it "striking" for whatever reason. Exceptional length is only one reason. Amazing thickness, unusual color, special texture can be other ones. I could totally thud over a polish plait because I would be flabbergasted by... disgust, lol. :laugh:

Personally, when I give a compliment, I choose my words with care to focus on what I find nice : healthy looking hair, subtle nuanced natural color, beautiful curl pattern, noticeable improvement of condition or progress in growth, for example. I don't necessarily focus my compliments on the length itself. To me, "beautiful" doesn't mean long but healthy, natural and clean looking, whatever the length. Now this is a long hair website, and as a long hair lover who has registered here to share long hair love, I do prefer long hair. Not because I find short hair ugly or uninteresting but because short hair doesn't have "the magic thing" I'm looking for. Super long hair has something fascinating that I enjoy to look at. Short hair can be super healthy and beautifully styled, but it doesn't have the same magic because almost anybody can have it and it's so common.

Now if I give a compliment to someone about some hair characteristic, it doesn't mean at all that I despise the ones who don't have the same trait. I can thud over a magnificent head of dark curls one day and drool over a silver silky 1a the day after with the same sincerity. And if I am positively enthusiastic about something, it is because it is my nature to be so, and I like to feel free to express it because it comes from my heart.

So does beautiful hair necessarily means very very long ? Definitely not. But long is a plus ! :wink: :laugh:

[BookishRay]

I've bolded the above because that's really the main point of my post. I, carelessly, hadn't considered that the reactions that I was getting to my hair photos might make other members at LHC feel slighted or less than others. Now that know that the effusive comments that I sometimes get in response to photos I post on my anniversary threads or the photo sharing thread causes pain and discomfort to other members, I'll be more careful, maybe posting them only to my blog so that only people who have chosen to be my friends can see them if they want.


In feeling sad about now having major qualms about posting any more hair pictures in the only place I felt safe doing so, (and I've made my albums private now, so that should help), I wrote this line more as a reminder to myself than anything else. If I'm feeling sad that I now have reservations about future posts, why is it that I'm feeling sad? Probably because I liked the compliments, and I need to remember that I'm not growing hair for compliments, but growing it because I like it.


Dear all, I'm sorry if the attention that I've attracted when posting photos has hurt your feelings or made you feel like your hair is not beautiful. Please know that I posted them carelessly and will be more concerned about the feelings they might cause in the future, should I share anything with the forum.



I understand your statements and respect your decision to set your pictures to private or for only your friends to see, but please don't misunderstand if I say I hope few will follow your example. My main reason for joining this site was to be inspired by the journey's of the others here. And being a newbie, (or as previous long time lurker) restricted access to pictures takes away much of the allure of the site. Reading about certain routines and process is great, but seeing the result is better.

Some of my favorite threads are the ones with pictures, whether they are progress pictures, buns, braids, memes, or anything in between. I like to the progress of others because it give me hope, the buns (in which length doesn't matter because it can't bee seen) and braids show me how versatile long hair can be.

Seeing the hair of others sometimes makes me frustrated with mine, but it never makes me feel bad, just more determined to figure out my routine and how to make my hair as beautiful as what I see. Even the pictures of the less than perfect tresses are inspiring, because it shows me I'm not alone on this journey.

I know I had more to say...Maybe even a solid point, but I have a bouncy little person jabbering in my ear and I can no longer remember what it was :shrug:

OH YEAH!!! Don't let the possibility of making one or two people feel bad keep you from inspiring so many more than that!!!

[spidermom]

Oh my goodness, gossamer, do feel free to do anniversary threads or any other posting of pictures. Others getting many compliments or thud piles doesn't hurt my feelings or anything. I think I'm just picking my way through complicated feelings about getting my own hair cut back to a length between BSL and waist. It seems much better now, but I'm still seeing a few split ends and plan to go shorter (solid BSL probably) when I'm due for a trim. I feel bad about giving other people advice based on what I was doing because it obviously wasn't working for me. Or maybe it's long hair that doesn't work for me. I'm not happy when I look down and see multiple split ends sticking out of my length or braids, thousands of them, and I came to hate that matronly old bun (any bun; they're all the same to me) I was sporting nearly every day.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Oh I hope you won't stop posting hair pics here, Gossamer, You are such an inspiration to so many to keep on growing (including me), and talking about your hair isn't the same as seeing it - a picture is worth a thousand words, after all... and i would rather see one photo than a whole page of writing about it (even though I always enjoy reading what you have to say, and very much. But even so, I like seeing the photos best of all.) We have so few super-duper long hairs on here that every photo we do get to see is an utter treat and delight, please don't feel bad.

In fact, no-one feel bad! We are not here to feel bad about our hair, but to have help, good advice and encouragement, and I, for one could not have grown my own hair to where it is now without all of those things by the truckload on here. :)

[JaneHathaway]

Yes, short hair can be better IMO. Face and body shape, skin vs hair colour, hair texture... many variables come into it. We often only see the behind pics on this forum, but how does the long hair suit the person as a whole? …. *snip*

Completely agree. Some folks are lucky enough to look great no matter their hair length. For others, going shorter or longer can have a dramatic effect on their overall appearance. That's irl.

As far as the purposes of the forum, we see and focus mostly on the hair in isolation from other aspects of physical appearance.

Now, I know this is the Long Hair Community and maybe this is heresy (hairesy?) but - for me, at least - this forum offers a fabulous spectrum in many aspects beyond just length. Although I personally don't aspire to it for myself, I love the pics of very long hair, but I've also admired and drawn inspiration from pics of many different lengths, textures, styles, and use of hair toys. There's so much beautiful hair here in such a variety of forms.

P.S. Please don't kick me out. I really need the information, tools, and inspiration I'm finding here.

[Quixii]

It's also worth mentioning that thuds and thudpiles are free and unlimited. :) Giving one person such a reaction does not mean that a person can't, shouldn't, or won't give another person a similar reaction, regardless of hair lengths. I don't think anyone should feel like they're hogging all the thuds, or some such.
Though I do understand the awkwardness on multiple levels of posting hair pictures, and post many less than some people.

[matentur]

As a relatively "short-haired" member I am definitely not offended by any pictures that anyone posts or the number of comments people get. I enjoy being able to see people's progress or find inspiration in my hair journey. And it does feel good to share something you put time into and care about with people who appreciate it. I have only posted a couple of pictures, but it was definitely more to participate and share something that the people I am around all the time don't get particularly excited about with people who also find it important. Not to say that I haven't enjoyed getting compliments. Point being I hope everyone continues to post whatever they like. I think it is just as much fun to see people transition from short to long (especially since i can relate) as see those that have already reached those lengths and the interesting things you all do with your hair.

[Shiranshoku]

Isn't it kind of the Facebook-mentality seeping through, too? Paying attention to how much 'likes' you or others get?

Personally, I haven't the time to check all the threads and spread my compliments evenly. I do see some posters who do, and when I do usually smile about how nice they are. I really appreciate people who do that.

But I don't do it myself, and I don't feel that I'm doing anyone harm. Like I said, I haven't the time and I refuse to give obligatory, insincere compliments because I'm keeping tabs.

Since I'm already pretty far along in my growing journey, most threads I do check show longer lengths, so I disproportionally compliment those. Not out of ill will, though.

Also - and I'm sorry for rambling incoherently, my toddler is keeping me up - I've noticed that longer length photos are often accompanied by more positive words from the poster. That might be part of it, too.

And another also, I generally prefer longer lengths. And growing my hair longer makes me feel prettier. Having a preference for your own look or even other people's look doesn't put others down by default.

[trolleypup]

Is longer hair automatically better? No.

However, all else being equal, the same hair longer is more impressive. Yes, TLHC does provide a certain amount of automatic status for longer hair. Is that entirely in line with the goal of being a supportive community, not really, but it is reality.

In a way the difference between the mens board and here is interesting. More status there for growing out hair, compared to just having long hair.

Grow it for yourself, to whatever length makes you happy.

Completely agree. Some folks are lucky enough to look great no matter their hair length. For others, going shorter or longer can have a dramatic effect on their overall appearance. That's irl.

As far as the purposes of the forum, we see and focus mostly on the hair in isolation from other aspects of physical appearance.

Now, I know this is the Long Hair Community and maybe this is heresy (hairesy?) but - for me, at least - this forum offers a fabulous spectrum in many aspects beyond just length. Although I personally don't aspire to it for myself, I love the pics of very long hair, but I've also admired and drawn inspiration from pics of many different lengths, textures, styles, and use of hair toys. There's so much beautiful hair here in such a variety of forms.

P.S. Please don't kick me out. I really need the information, tools, and inspiration I'm finding here.
There are a lot of members who grew their hair out here...then cut back and stayed for the community.

[humble_knight]

I don't think the longer hair grows, the more beautiful it is. I see plenty of scaggy hair in real life. Maybe really long hair gets noticed here because it's looked after better than people who don't use this community, or who couldn't give a fig about haircare. They just grow their hair because they can't be bothered to get it cut.

[Seratopia]

I find it upsetting that some members with long hair are considering to keep their pictures private or to stop posting their hair pictures. What is the point of this community or website if others feel they should do this.. I enjoy seeing everyone's hair whether long or short. If they are shorter haired, we get to see their journey to the length they want (this is very exciting seeing people's progress and to feel you arent alone in the journey) and for the longer haired, we get to see how in the world they maintain those long locks (seeing these lengths are very motivating for me to reach). This site isn't about how many oos or ahhs you get. It's about support as others said.

Please don't censor yourselves, nobody here should have to... It's a hair website...

[Flipgirl24]

Beautiful is how you wear your hair. I don't mean what style you wear it in or what colour it is or what hair toys you use. I mean how you carry yourself with whatever length you have. I prefer myself with long hair and I wouldn't go past waist length if I ever reach it. But I have seen many gorgeous short styles as well. I think for me, it's more about the health of the hair and how the person 'wears' it. For example, Pink has short hair but she carries it so well, she is beautiful. I love long hair but if it isn't healthy or doesn't suit the person then it's not for them. But I think that there is a stereotype of the woman with long hair, especially amongst men.

[RavenRose]

I find that how beautiful hair is depends on many factors, and can be independent of length. Some hair is beautiful for it's color, thickness, softness, curl, shine, or style it is cut into. It can also depend on how it fits with the individual person's style and face/body type, which has not been a focus here at LHC. I have found many here with shorter hair to have thud worthy hair.

I have found many pictures of those with longer locks inspirational and never felt dissatisfied or jealous of the amount of thuds they received. There were very few that I have seen that were attention seeking, and makes me sad to think that some are contemplating removing their pics. Many of the thuds are because (in my opinion) so many of us here know the amount of patience and care it take to grow hair to those lengths and keep it healthy.

One thing I do love about this community is the fact that it is such a positive and supportive place, even beyond hair issues. The members here try to make sure that your mind and body are also in the right place.

[triumphator!]

I know this has been discussed before, but I think there's a definite thing with thick hair on this forum. Long, maybe not so much, because you can grow your hair out. But thick hair really gets people thudding all over the place.

[neko_kawaii]

Beautiful hair comes in all lengths, colors, textures, and styles. You can enjoy some things on yourself and other things on other people even! (I love curls and colors on other people, but I don't have the patience to deal with them on myself.)

Also, keep in mind that not everyone aspires to be seen as beautiful. If you have something you want to achieve for yourself, go for it!

Personally, I'm just curious how long my hair can get. That is pretty much it. I prefer wearing my hair up in the first place, so the quality or thickness of the length doesn't matter to me. The best thing about growing out a pixie, was that day I could finally put it in a braid and not think about it again. I've been told I rock a short cut. *shrug* I don't particularly care what I rock or don't rock. Most of the time I have more interesting things to expend my energy on. But when I want to have fun with appearances, I appreciate the variety of options I have with long hair.

Have I got split ends? You betcha. Do I care? In so far as I am aware that splits can travel up and produce a false terminal, sure. I handle my hair as carefully as I have patience for to minimize splits and when I find myself with time on my hands (a rarity) I S&D. I've never eliminated split ends. But they don't bother me. I don't see them as an indication of low hair health, they are the reality of living. Split ends happen.

If split ends bug you, S&D or trim them out! Something else bugging you? The question I'd ask myself in any situation is, what do I appreciate about long hair that I would seriously miss if I cut it? Can't think of anything? The skys the limit! Have fun! Or find a style in a length that serves your needs.

I haven't reached a length that I find an inconvenience in any way, so I'll keep waiting to see just how long it can get, the split ends will continue to form and the length will continue to taper.

Stop worrying about what you think other people think, figure out what YOU need and "Relax and enjoy your hair!"

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

I love long hair. I have always loved long hair.
As a child my sisters and I used to place a towel on our heads and play pretend at long hair.

When I joined the LHC I was and am still in awe of all the beautiful hair here, especially long hair. My reason being that I also want what you have ... length and I want to learn from you ... please teach me. I hunger for your knowledgeable expertise and respect you.

I would not tell anyone anything bad if they choose to cut their hair. As everyone has their varying reasons. I may give long hair more attention but it does not equate to me not liking short hair.

Beautiful hair is healthy hair. Length is a bonus

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Sigh, I know this wasn't the intention, but I had felt like LHC was a safe space where I could share photos of my hair without being assumed to be begging for attention and compliments, but if the longest heads of hair get disproportionate appreciation and make people feel bad about themselves, I need to rethink my participation in sharing photos. Maybe the point is that sharing photos is itself asking for attention and I need to remember that my hair is for me, not for anyone else.

ETA: also, I'm pretty sure I fall into the category some posters describe as hair that is too long and unhealthy to be beautiful.

gossamer please do not ever stop sharing your hair photos. You are an inspiration in our community. You give us hope. To me you are genuinely honest and very uplifting when you replied to my questions. You made me feel like I matter.

lapushka you were one of the first person to reply to my post. This week as I was browsing through the 4a/b thread to which I subscribed I saw you are an active participant it made me realise my shortfall at being diverse. And I appreciate that your action made me remember that I can be more than just my goal. Sure I do not stop at the shorties, APL etc. To which I should. But each of us restrict ourselves to our needs and goal. At times forgetting to stop and appreciate

[hayheadsbird]

Right. I was about to comment in similar fashion. I like to see hair longer than what is common, too, for the novelty of it if nothing else.

I think the word "beautiful" was badly chosen on my part. I was thinking more of a higher level of approval, and yes - this is the long hair community, so appreciation of long hair is to be expected.

Speaking strictly for myself, there is some long hair that I don't like for one reason or another, such as visible damage - my problem with my own former tailbone length hair. Sometimes I see makeover shows where I like the new short style better than the original long style, but a lot of threads have passed through here deeply criticizing such shows for always cutting the hair. So this is what I was thinking about: is shorter ever better (in your opinion)?
I think the only person that can answer is shorter better is the person with the hair.
It's their hair. If they like it and are happy, regardless of anyone else's opinion, then it's better. I do think there's to many variables to give a definitive answer, I'll still have an opinion, I might think it might be more aesthetically pleasing with layers, or with out highlights etc, but unless they ask my opinion I'll try and keep my mouth shut. But short hair is only better if the person wearing it likes it, and long is only better if that's what they want. IMO, it's s personal choice how long someone wears their hair.


Being a shorty, I feel I need to respond to this. I have never once felt bad about my hair length on this forum and I have never felt that you or the other members are fishing for compliments. Personally, I love seeing your pictures gossamer, you have my favorite hair on the forum. Please don't stop posting pics, you are a inspiration.

I do however sometimes feel like my opinion isn't as important or heeded as much as the long haired members and honestly, I can understand it. I don't necessarily like it, but it does make sense. I don't have the experience with long hair so my opinions aren't the most knowledgeable. I absolutely do not expect or want anyone to cater to me so I don't get hurt feelings (I don't by the way), nor will I cater to others insecurities. I will never purposely be hurtful but I won't sugar coat things to make it all shiny rainbows either.

*snip*

ETA: I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting compliments. Personally, I want all the compliments. It really helps me feels good about my hair and feeling good about it makes me not want to chop it all off.

Pretty much this. Personally I'd be really annoyed that those with longer hair were worried about their photos upsetting people. Because it's a long hair forum. It's not like anyone's spamming my Facebook feed with self gratifying selfies. It's a long hair forum. I come here to be inspired by styles, or cool fun photos with amazing length. Sharing each other's journeys is part of the community.

Fishing for compliments? Well I do that, if I think my hairs looking pretty, I'll post a photo. If no one says anything that's fine, I'm happy with it, and it's for me, not them. But I know I like seeing others photos of pretty hair. For me it's part of being in the community and sharing my journey, and because I like seeing others, I'm thinking someone might appreciate seeing mine too. And if they don't they can scroll on past, and that's okay.

[KittyBird]

:scissors:
There are a lot of members who grew their hair out here...then cut back and stayed for the community.
Yup!

This has been an interesting discussion, especially since I cut back to shoulder a few months ago. I don't think I've gotten less compliments on my pictures as a shorty, though I don't post pictures very often anymore. I usually browse through the "hair photos"-thread, and from the looks of it, the shorties get a lot of love too. IMO, beauty comes in all lengths and thicknesses and textures. I enjoy pictures of hair at all lengths and thicknesses, but I can see why the super-long hairs might get a bit more attention. It's an unusual sight.
When I joined this forum, I had never seen hair longer than tbl, and I was obsessed with the classic+ crowd. I didn't pay much attention at all to the members with shorter hair. A few years have passed and the novelty has worn off (though I still enjoy looking at super-long hair). I'm just not obsessed by length anymore. I hope no one feels discouraged to share their pictures, because it has always been my impression that everyone are welcome here, regardless of their lengths. :heartbeat

[OhSuzi]

I admire hair that is healthy, very different from my own, interesting e.g because they've used exciting colours or a hairstyle I've never seen before and hair that looks like how I aspire to have mine.
Having never had truly long hair, I do admire people who've managed to comit to it, who have a length I'd like to reach one day. I also enjoy seeing the shorty pictures and watching their progress as they grow it out, because that's a similar journey to the one I'm on. It's the reason I joined the long hair forum. Perhaps if there was a dare to radically chop your length to pixie forum, there would be a lot more people specifically seeking out short hair styles and paying each other more compliments.

I have had a pixie for several years and the benefits are your hair is so regularly cut it's always in great condition, you can experiment with dyes and grow it out and get a new style / colour in a month. I've had many compliments on the shininess of my hair, on being brave/daring to cut/shave/dye it. How cool and exciting the colour/ style is. How a pixie helps show off your face and how the style suits. People notice every time it changes which is regularly.

Since I have chosen to grow it out natural with no trims, no ones noticed the colour or my hair or paid it any compliments recently. The layers are all growing out and get a bit mulletty and unruly flicking out everywhere, and I guess if I wanted people to notice it in a good way I'd go get it cut into a decent style. But Whilst it's nice to get compliments, my hair is for me and I have a few styles in mind that it will take a while to grow to and equines no trimming for a while. When I finally reach my goals, I'll think my hair is beautiful and I don't care that it's not being called beautiful in the meantime by others.

[animetor7]

I think that hair that is a style, color and length that makes the individual with it happiest is the most beautiful. As for my personal tastes, I think that healthy hair, regardless of length, that is worn in it's natural texture (straight, wavy, curly, kinky, cheese) is the most beautiful. But that's me, if you're someone who likes to change your color or texture and is willing to accept whatever damage it could cause, more power to you!!!

As for commenting on threads that are shorter than your current length, a different texture, etc. I don't tend to do this. But that's because I'm not having the same issues, frustrations, etc. that the people in that thread are dealing with. For instance, I've never dealt with hair shorter than chin length or hair that is curly, so I don't think that anything I'd have to say in one of those hair type/length specific threads would be useful. I know that curly hair has a tendency to be drier and frizz more than straight hair, and that pixied hair can form a sort of mullet as it grows out, but having never experienced these things personally, I don't really have anything useful to say about these things. So, I tend to stick to threads that either match the hair or routine that I'm dealing with, or are for the purpose of learning more about a hair type that's different than your own, such as the locked hair questions thread. I'll also look at threads from new members asking for some advice in an upset or sometimes panicked way because a lot of "newbie" questions have common answers, clarifying, more moisture, S&D, etc. and I figure if they're upset, some imperfect advice and reassurance is better than none.

I also think that both shorties and extreme longies should feel supported in sharing their photos and journey. I hope this community can remain as open, kind, and helpful as it has always been. :)

ETA: Oh, and threads asking questions about science. My background is in biology and chemistry, so I can sometimes be helpful in answering some scientific questions as well. But again, I like to stick to what I know so that my advice/comments has some basis and I don't accidentally offer poor advice or unhelpful comments. :)

[TatsuOni]

I love seeing pictures of long hair. I like seeing hair pictures in general and some short haircuts can look really amazing! But my preferences is long hair, black hair and so on and therefore I enjoy seeng pictures like that a little extra.

Also, I have say that this is a very supportive community and I think that short hair get's lots of compliments too.

I have gotten a lot of compliments at waist lenght too (short for some people and long for others). I've also gotten some extra comments for the color from people who likes black hair. Quite natural if you ask me. It sometimes leads to questions about hendigo (especially in hendigo/black hair threads) and I'm happy to get questions and to help. It's the same with long hair, they get questions about it and are very helpful for us who want to get there and also want to know what struggles that are to be expected.

This is a forum for long hair and it isn't strage that people enjoys long hair. In general I have to say that it isn't just long hair that gets a little extra thud. Pictures that have a little "extra" usually gets a little more comments and the "extra" can be an unusal color, a nice background in a well planned picture, extra shiny hair, well behaved locks, a complicated hairstyle and so on.

[calmyogi]

While my hair isn't as long as yours spidermom I can feel some of what your talking about. yesterday I went to my stylist and had her put layers back in my hair. I decided that I wasn't liking it all one length and I wanted that "messy" look back some. The one thing that held me back from doing it in the past was because I wanted to grow my hair out and be part of the "elite" as well. The longest people here all seem to give off this vibe that it's not really beautiful and "long" unless it's long AND all one length. I know Dreamsheep and Lapushka have layers and classic length, but their hair is so thick!

[lapushka]

I know this has been discussed before, but I think there's a definite thing with thick hair on this forum. Long, maybe not so much, because you can grow your hair out. But thick hair really gets people thudding all over the place.

Yep, that's another thing that sometimes irritates me. Why is thick hair so *wanted* and popular? I have thick hair. My mom has i bordering on ii, more i these days than ii, but anyway. Do I think her hair is less beautiful? No! And then that sort of hurts when these things happen and thinner hair isn't appreciated as much. :)

[lapushka]

While my hair isn't as long as yours spidermom I can feel some of what your talking about. yesterday I went to my stylist and had her put layers back in my hair. I decided that I wasn't liking it all one length and I wanted that "messy" look back some. The one thing that held me back from doing it in the past was because I wanted to grow my hair out and be part of the "elite" as well. The longest people here all seem to give off this vibe that it's not really beautiful and "long" unless it's long AND all one length. I know Dreamsheep and Lapushka have layers and classic length, but their hair is so thick!

Layers can look darn *good* in ii hair as well! It's all in how you wear it, and judging from your avatar, your hair is gorgeous!

[Decoy24601]

I just wanted to add that I agree with the people that are saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I like longer hair on *myself*. That's not to say that I don't find shorter hair beautiful though. Usually, when I comment on someone's pictures it's because of something other than length, like color or texture. Beauty related to hair is independent of length for me.

And about hair thickness and layers... I've never gotten the vibe that hair isn't long if it's layered. Many members on here have long and layered hair. When hair gets to terminal length as well it also naturally becomes a bit layered, so I can't say I really get what the big deal about that is. I personally don't like layers. They're hard for me to maintain and I just don't like the way they make my hair feel or look, but that's my opinion about my own hair.

Another thing people tend to gawk at is red hair... but I've been dealing with both nice and mean comments about that my whole life so it doesn't really bother me anymore. Why do we have to attach so much worth to what other people find beautiful and get so aggravated about it? Beauty is to be appreciated, not argued over, and even then that's completely subjective.

[calmyogi]

Yep, that's another thing that sometimes irritates me. Why is thick hair so *wanted* and popular? I have thick hair. My mom has i bordering on ii, more i these days than ii, but anyway. Do I think her hair is less beautiful? No! And then that sort of hurts when these things happen and thinner hair isn't appreciated as much. :)

I have had a couple of friends that when I put my hand around their ponytail it filled my fist. So so so thick. It seems like it would be hot and heavy a majority of the time. The only time I wish my hair was that thick is so when I age it won't be so thin, but my hair thinning too much isn't even a guarantee, so I'm not sure I would want hair that is that thick!

[calmyogi]

Layers can look darn *good* in ii hair as well! It's all in how you wear it, and judging from your avatar, your hair is gorgeous!


Thank you lapushka! ;) I actually thought of you when I added them back in. I was like "well if she can have classic length hair and layers I should be able to achieve at least TBL with layers".

[calmyogi]

I just wanted to add that I agree with the people that are saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I like longer hair on *myself*. That's not to say that I don't find shorter hair beautiful though. Usually, when I comment on someone's pictures it's because of something other than length, like color or texture. Beauty related to hair is independent of length for me.

And about hair thickness and layers... I've never gotten the vibe that hair isn't long if it's layered. Many members on here have long and layered hair. When hair gets to terminal length as well it also naturally becomes a bit layered, so I can't say I really get what the big deal about that is. I personally don't like layers. They're hard for me to maintain and I just don't like the way they make my hair feel or look, but that's my opinion about my own hair.

Another thing people tend to gawk at is red hair... but I've been dealing with both nice and mean comments about that my whole life so it doesn't really bother me anymore. Why do we have to attach so much worth to what other people find beautiful and get so aggravated about it? Beauty is to be appreciated, not argued over, and even then that's completely subjective.

I get what your saying. I see a lot of people with certain hair or makeup or clothing choices and I'm like "I really like that on them". But, when I try to wear said thing I just don't like it. It is about the person wearing it and if they like it that matters. That then radiates out to what others perceive of you.

[Deborah]

Spidermom,

You have genuinely beautiful hair at any length. Don't feel badly about wanting it a bit shorter. You will always be one of the elite on this list, whatever length your hair is. You have given countless people wonderful, well thought out advice for their hair, and contributed greatly to a good tone on the list.

I don't think your hair has ever looked matronly, but if you need a change you need a change. At bsl or waist you will likely find that you can do beautiful French twists - not at all matronly - think Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn! A French twist is just too hard when the hair is longer than that. You seem to have a little wave in your hair, so French braids will be lovely too. My hair is straight as a stick, so even with bun or braid waves, I cannot do a French braid to save my life, only a plain old regular pigtail. I envy those like you with a little wave, as it makes the hair much easier to work with.

As to the reactions to extreme length, it just doesn't matter. Lots on this list express heartfelt appreciation for other people's hair, but frankly, some just resort to flattery. I don't know why. Maybe they want to make people feel better, but I have read glowing raves about hair that looked pretty bad to me. So I take the 'thuds' and such with a grain of salt and move on. My eyes tell me the truth and so do yours.

I guess I'm trying to say be happy with your hair and don't feel any 'less' because you want to wear it shorter. You are an integral member of this list, and I hope you always feel perfectly free to comment on anything you want to, and to freely give advice to the rest of us. We appreciate and respect it.

[Annalouise]

Personally, my goals are not about "beauty". I have THIN FINE hair, and I am CONSTANTLY told that I NEED to cut it to shoulder length or thereabouts as it will improve my appearance.:bull:
Or, I am told in this forum that if I keep trimming my hair it will magically thicken up and it will then look more PLEASING to others.

I find all of this irritating because I just want to have long hair to have long hair. I just want to see what my terminal length is. Period.
Call it a science experiment. I don't really care about having to look PLEASING to everyone! GEE WIZ. :rolleyes:

And this is why I stopped putting pictures of my hair up. Because everyone thinks its too thin to be long. Whatever, don't care.

[DweamGoiL]

And this is why I stopped putting pictures of my hair up. Because everyone thinks its too thin to be long. Whatever, don't care.

I am surprised that in this community someone commented outright that your hair is too thin to be long. Not saying it isn't possible because it is a public forum (and not everyone falls into the culture right upon first joining), but I personally have found that people here compliment people's hair for many different reasons (length, style, just because the person is nice, just because they need to hear it, texture, etc.). I have never seen your hair in pictures, but I am sure it is lovely and I don't feel that thin hair is bad or ugly. It's just not thick. However, biologically we are programmed to perceive thickness and legth of hair as healthier and that means the person is more attractive as a mate. It is a show of fertility and physical health and hair is certainly a sexual element (which translates into the perception of beauty). I think that sometimes seeps into people's responses and it's totally natural. I don't think that people should be made to feel that it's not ok to comment or refrain from commenting on their personal preferences as long as they are being respectful and not seeking to insult or belittle other members.

In reading over this thread, I find some people may have projected their own knee-jerk feelings into their responses without taking into account how others might read into it, and let me also state that is always going to happen. As carefully as people try to respond, someone is going to take it personally when it wasn't meant that way.

I don't keep track of thudpiles for myself or others. I never even thought that others would be interested in doing so and don't feel that validation from others is or should affect how I feel about myself or others. We are all here to enjoy, support, and watch members' journeys and give advice on what has worked or has not worked for us so that hopefully it will help others with similar hair types. Personally, I think keeping track of who gets complimented for what is a disservice to yourself and others. There may be a lot of different factors on why someone makes a particular comment or decides not to (being busy, because they have a similar hair type or use a different product that didn't work for us, but somehow they made it work for them....etc.).

I also like that this forum is NOT like Facebook. It's irritating to have to feel constantly pressured to press "like" or else people see it as some sort of rejection. There is so much nonsense that is posted in FB and usually the most idiotic gets the most likes. I really hope that mentality does not infect this forum. I hardly ever go on FB because of all the drama, and now we have to watch people film videos about it as well.

Those are my 2 cents. I do not wish to try to defend or change other people's minds to get them on board with any of my above statements.

[lapushka]

Thank you lapushka! ;) I actually thought of you when I added them back in. I was like "well if she can have classic length hair and layers I should be able to achieve at least TBL with layers".

Darn right, girl! :cheer: :D

[lapushka]

And this is why I stopped putting pictures of my hair up. Because everyone thinks its too thin to be long. Whatever, don't care.

This happened here? :confused:

[calmyogi]

Personally, my goals are not about "beauty". I have THIN FINE hair, and I am CONSTANTLY told that I NEED to cut it to shoulder length or thereabouts as it will improve my appearance.:bull:
Or, I am told in this forum that if I keep trimming my hair it will magically thicken up and it will then look more PLEASING to others.

I find all of this irritating because I just want to have long hair to have long hair. I just want to see what my terminal length is. Period.
Call it a science experiment. I don't really care about having to look PLEASING to everyone! GEE WIZ. :rolleyes:

And this is why I stopped putting pictures of my hair up. Because everyone thinks its too thin to be long. Whatever, don't care.

I'm sure your hair is beautiful. My daughters hair is fine and pretty thin and I worry that others will say the same thing about hers as she grows. I have heard in the past that fine/thin haired people "shouldn't" have long hair before, but I think that comes from a snide place. Or just plain ignorance. when my daughters hair is in the best shape it looks like strands of dark golden silk. I think the same goes for other fine haired people. It can be to die for.

[BookishRay]

*snip*

In reading over this thread, I find some people may have projected their own knee-jerk feelings into their responses without taking into account how others might read into it, and let me also state that is always going to happen. As carefully as people try to respond, someone is going to take it personally when it wasn't meant that way.


If I am honest my knee jerk reaction to cutting long hair short is an internal cringe, but that is based more on my personal experience than my true feelings about short hair. That is why I do my best to think before reacting in any verbal or visillegal (irl) way.

I have no problem with short hair on other people. There are many short styles I wish I could rock but have the totally wrong hair type for. My mother wore her hair long most of her life to please her mother (who couldn't have long hair). Mom always encouraged me to wear my hair however I wished and even helped me dye it a few times even when she was cringing inside at my choices.

Personally I'm not comfortable with hair shorter than shoulder length and prefer longer. But that is my choice and preference and would never try to force my preference on someone else, but I will voice my opinion if asked. For example if someone shows me a sleek Bob when they have 3c hair...I would probably point out how much work it would be for them to achieve. But ultimately it's their choice. If they are willing to work for it then by all means go for it. It also applies to the people with thin fragile hair that want it waist length or longer. You may have to work super hard to achieve your goal but I wish you all the best of luck and will admire your dedication.

[Pacific]

I find all of this irritating because I just want to have long hair to have long hair. I just want to see what my terminal length is. Period.
Call it a science experiment. I don't really care about having to look PLEASING to everyone.
I totally agree. It's my hair and not important what others are thinking about it.
Only for my own hair is longer = better. But on others it doesn't matter for me.

[Mrstran]

I commented earlier but I had to add a bit more from a short hair girls perspective. I can only speak for myself here but, when I see photos of you ladies with very long hair, positive comments or not, I find it inspiring. Plus you know that when the long hair ladies give you advice, listen up! Because they know what they are talking about.

[Llama]

People are fascinated by really long hair...it's not something you see every day and it makes sense that someone with hair to the floor would get oohs and ahhs. I am still trying to grow my hair longer so I am interested in how they get it to be so long. Before I came to LHC I honestly thought my hair could not grow past BSL just because of my old hair practices and not realizing what I was doing wrong.

On LHC you may not get praise for cutting your hair short, probably because we only take pictures of the backs of our heads here and can't tell if it's an improvement to your look or not lol. Also, short hair is pretty common in real life.

If you go to r/fancyfollicles on reddit you will see that it is pretty much the opposite of LHC. Most people suggest cutting hair short and dying it, etc. If you wanted to be involved in a community that caters to short colorful hair you should check it out. I am a member of both...probably because I had plans to be a hairdresser at one point and can appreciate all different kinds of hair.

[vampyyri]

I want to put my two cents here.

Long hair is not a contest. Beautiful hair doesn't have to be long. Thick hair is not "better" than thin hair.
ALL hair is beautiful, it's an extension of who we are!! It's self expression, it's a very personal thing.

And guess what—we're all beautiful just the way we are.
What makes you (or your hair in this case) different, is what makes you, YOU!

[lapushka]

I want to put my two cents here.

Long hair is not a contest. Beautiful hair doesn't have to be long. Thick hair is not "better" than thin hair.
ALL hair is beautiful, it's an extension of who we are!! It's self expression, it's a very personal thing.

And guess what—we're all beautiful just the way we are.
What makes you (or your hair in this case) different, is what makes you, YOU!

All very true! :)

[Ligeia Noire]

I was actually contemplating a 20's hairstyle you know... like a bob but all curly, ahhhhhhhhhhhh it would be so coolllllllllllllllllllllllllll

[OhSuzi]

Ligeia noire - I love that style! Tres chic!

[Ligeia Noire]

Me too Suzi, I have two people inside me, the one that loves very long thick long hair and the one that loves curly, playful bob styles with mary jane heels :p

[spidermom]

Spidermom,

You have genuinely beautiful hair at any length. Don't feel badly about wanting it a bit shorter. You will always be one of the elite on this list, whatever length your hair is. You have given countless people wonderful, well thought out advice for their hair, and contributed greatly to a good tone on the list.

I don't think your hair has ever looked matronly, but if you need a change you need a change. At bsl or waist you will likely find that you can do beautiful French twists - not at all matronly - think Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn! A French twist is just too hard when the hair is longer than that. You seem to have a little wave in your hair, so French braids will be lovely too. My hair is straight as a stick, so even with bun or braid waves, I cannot do a French braid to save my life, only a plain old regular pigtail. I envy those like you with a little wave, as it makes the hair much easier to work with.

As to the reactions to extreme length, it just doesn't matter. Lots on this list express heartfelt appreciation for other people's hair, but frankly, some just resort to flattery. I don't know why. Maybe they want to make people feel better, but I have read glowing raves about hair that looked pretty bad to me. So I take the 'thuds' and such with a grain of salt and move on. My eyes tell me the truth and so do yours.

I guess I'm trying to say be happy with your hair and don't feel any 'less' because you want to wear it shorter. You are an integral member of this list, and I hope you always feel perfectly free to comment on anything you want to, and to freely give advice to the rest of us. We appreciate and respect it.

Aww, that's nice; thank you. In some ways, I feel like I failed at the long hair game. On the other hand, hair grows.

[Deborah]

Aww, that's nice; thank you. In some ways, I feel like I failed at the long hair game. On the other hand, hair grows.

You certainly did not fail. You achieved long, beautiful hair. Whatever length you choose now does not change that one little bit. Should you cut it significantly now, then decide you miss the length, you can grow it back. You already know you are capable of it. Should you decide you just like it shorter, then keep it that way. Either way it's win/win, all good. :flower:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Aww, that's nice; thank you. In some ways, I feel like I failed at the long hair game. On the other hand, hair grows.

Of course you haven't failed. I bet your hair looks fabulous at its new length, will we get to see it? :)

[luvlonghair75]

Well, my username says it all. Yeah, I'm a bit biased but short hair that is evenly cut and shiney can be nice, too! I find myself questioning why people are allowing their hair to be half or partial shaved and given awfully bad paint jobs along with a sloppy, choppy cut! I mean, do these people not look at their hair? It often looks unkempt, unloved and just flat out abused! Or do they just not care? So, naturally, it's out of a respectful reaction that when *I* see someone with longer (or shorter!) hair that looks happy and healthy, then there's nothing wrong with that. But when people don't give their hair genuine love... meh, not much to say about it!

[Kamille]

I think it comes from the fact that most people are here to grow their own hair, and see other peoples progress as inspiring to their journey. Shorter hair can definitely be prettier than longer hair on some people, but most people are here for the longness.

[lapushka]

Me too Suzi, I have two people inside me, the one that loves very long thick long hair and the one that loves curly, playful bob styles with mary jane heels :p

Definitely that happens to me when my hair gets a little too long for comfort. I had a haircut today, 5cm / 2inches off and back to classic. I was having wild notions of cutting it short, and when that happens, I know it's time to trim.

I do like how this discussion is going, though. How everyone is respectful of one another.

I still hate the way it had an effect on gossamer. That was never my intention when I commented and I do hope it's not due to anything I said; never my intention to scare people away from the longer hair posting threads, and scaring them into closing off their albums (although mine are private too) - I do get it. :( But, I find it so sad that that happened.

[lapushka]

Well, my username says it all. Yeah, I'm a bit biased but short hair that is evenly cut and shiney can be nice, too! I find myself questioning why people are allowing their hair to be half or partial shaved and given awfully bad paint jobs along with a sloppy, choppy cut! I mean, do these people not look at their hair? It often looks unkempt, unloved and just flat out abused! Or do they just not care? So, naturally, it's out of a respectful reaction that when *I* see someone with longer (or shorter!) hair that looks happy and healthy, then there's nothing wrong with that. But when people don't give their hair genuine love... meh, not much to say about it!

I think we have a few people with shaved parts (undercuts) and even mohawks here, so... that too can be beautiful. :o :flower:

[lapushka]

Aww, that's nice; thank you. In some ways, I feel like I failed at the long hair game. On the other hand, hair grows.

Please don't think that. It's -in the end- all about what *you* want; that's all that matters. And you'd not leave us, right? Should you get your hair cut.

[Temme]

Of course, the only thing that matters is one's own opinion of what's beautiful.

As for my personal opinion, I definitely think shorter can be better. It's actually hard for me to give a personal opinion because everyone is beautiful in their own way, no lies. I think length can add beauty, but sometimes shortness adds boldness. I think usually I judge hair on how healthy and natural it looks although there are tons of exceptions: one of the most beautiful heads of hair I've ever seen irl was bright blue APL hair, made her look like a mermaid. I don't think the world would be a more beautiful place if every single person's hair dragged on the floor behind them.

[BookishRay]

I appreciate beauty in people. I appreciate physical beauty more when it is an expression of the beauty of the soul within. If that means the person has long hair, rainbow hair, or no hair at all then they are beautiful.

Some people won the gene lottery when it comes to hair. My grandmother had extremely thin, fine hair that wouldn't grow. My mother has thick healthy hair that she does nothing special to, but it stays beautiful. Should my mother be praised while my grandmother condemned? Of course not, but did my mother get more compliments and positive feed back on her hair from society? Sure she did. Unfortunately, that is the way things work in this word sometimes.

I haven't seen anyone condemned on this site for the length of his/her hair or for deciding to cut it off. Granted I haven't been here long but still. To some, achieving long hair is a goal to be reached and moved beyond, to others it is a fulfillment of a dream and will be held on to and cherished. One way is no better or worse than the other, but can seem so if viewed only from the stand point of the apposing view which is why we should (and seem to achieve in most cases) keep an open mind about the choices of others. We don't know their story beyond what is reviled here and even then it is generally gleaned from the random pieces from what ever thread we may jointly follow.

I had long hair in high school, but it wasn't hair to be proud of, it was dry and damaged and unattractive. Over the last 20 years it has varied in length from waist to ear. On this journey I discovered that I don't like short hair on myself. That doesn't mean I dislike it on others. My current goal is to grow my hair to TBL just to see if I can. I'm pretty sure it will not stay that length if it ever makes it, but it might. I don't know. I may decide that I prefer BSL or waist better. Does that mean I fail? NO. It is my hair and I choose what I prefer to deal with.

AS others have stated, this is the LONG hair community, so it is assumed that LONG hair likely gets more attention and appreciation, but I have seen nothing but praise and encouragement for some of the short hairs I've seen.

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Aww, that's nice; thank you. In some ways, I feel like I failed at the long hair game. On the other hand, hair grows.

spidermom you are an awesome woman. You have been on this forum for many years and your wealth of knowledge supercedes mine. You have years of wisdom and experience to offer to this forum. I shall always respect and value your input.

Please forgive me for my shortcomings in being in awe of long hair.

You have made a decision based on your needs and impression of your hair and I cannot disrespect that. Besides which I also did a big cut recently. Your happiness and peace of mind is important in the choice you make and not mine. I encourage you to look beyond and know that you are valued

[browneyedsusan]

Do not give us that much power.
It isn't good for you. :flower:

We are cyber-people in a cyber-world, and you know us as well as we want you to. We all have self-doubts and challenges in our lives. Our friends get sick and die, our marriages fail, we make mistakes with our kids and grandkids, we have victories and failures with our hair. Sometimes, some of us share those things. Sometimes we don't.

Hair is a big deal to some TLHC'ers, but not all. Out IRL, hair is probably pretty minor. You have a beautiful heart. We've seen it. You've tenderly cared for your children and pets, and try to do what's best for them. You've directly helped countless numbers of us with our hair, and about a zillion others indirectly by sharing how you cope with your life challenges.

You get out there, kick butt and take names! You are a beautiful woman, Spidermom. Even if you're bald, and wearing a gunnysack.

Go get 'em, Sister!

[HeavenlyTresses]

So many thoughts running through my head.....let's see if I can put some of them in writing before they escape me.

I have three daughters (ages 25, 21 and 15) and all three have different hair types. I have always been supportive of their choices and let them choose their own styles and colors. There have been good ones and bad, healthy and fried from dyes and even a bout with lice and we feared we would all be bald. I never cared about the length and the damage was a learning experience for them because they were teenagers whose mom didn't know anything about hair care :) The most important thing about their hair and my own was how it made us feel. They of course fell into the fashion trends and the oldest had the latest styles. The middle one went with the colors, bright pink, turquoise and purple. The youngest started with an ombre that turned into teal ends and then burgundy. The oldest liked shorter hairstyles and then would be sad that I couldn't braid it for her anymore. The middle and youngest have had waist length and longer but both cut back to midback. I always supported them no matter what because of the CONFIDENCE it gave them. If they like the cut, the color, the style and it made them happy and that is what matters most to me. People always ask them if they will let their hair grow as long as mine and they start laughing before the person can finish the sentence "Haha, no way!" They like my long hair, they admire it and don't want me to cut it but super long hair is not for them. My husband is the same way, he likes it but he says it is my choice and I should do whatever makes me happy.

There are some amazing lengths here on LHC as well as throughout the world but IMHO length does not equal beauty. But, if you do have the length AND the health I think it definitely gets more attention because it is not something you see every day. Sometimes it's like seeing a unicorn or a fairy, and I know the time and the effort it took to achieve it and I can't help but stop and say "Wow!" I'm not a frequent flyer on the forum and I don't comment or compliment much but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the diverse and beautiful tresses everyone has here. I like to see the encouragement the women as well as the men receive and they know this is a safe place with so many tips and answers.

There are a couple reasons I don't comment much on picture threads though. First, usually by the time I read a thread it is 4 or more pages long, full of comments, compliments and suggestions and everything I can think of to say has already been said several times over. Second, I'm far from a hair guru, I think I just got lucky in the gene pool. I don't have some super secret information that no one has heard before. I do have very long hair but I don't do anything special to it, I don't take any supplements for it (unless you include copious amounts of peanut butter) and I don't really take the best care of it. Sure I think about cutting it once in a while and dream about throwing it up in ponytail or learning to do a french twist but I don't think the short hair life is for me. I really think the shortest I could ever bring myself to cutting it would be knee or classic. I like the individuality of it and I like that I don't look like everyone else in a crowd. The downfall sometimes is the attention that it gets, same feeling as gossamer I suppose. I would never want anyone to think I was vain or trying to get attention but I would want someone to be inspired and to know that great lengths can be achieved. I especially like that gossamer, LadyLongLocks and I have different hair types, different colors but similar lengths so we know anything is possible.
I know I had more to say but now all I can think about is peanut butter :)

And spidermom, you are awesome and I will always think so no matter what length you are at, as long as you are happy!

[calmyogi]

It's interesting to see a couple of the comments about what the poster finds beautiful. I look at others and see very neat hemlines and textures and think "wow their hair is beautiful I want their hair". Then when I look at my hair in the mirror I don't see that. My hair is unkept and poofy by nature. So I try to embrace my natural texture. I could have flat neat hair, but I would need to flatten it down with cones and heat. I want long hair so all that heat damage just isn't going to do it for me. I try to embrace my own texture while admiring others. I will say that my hair doesn't get many compliments when I post it either. I think the texture combined with the length, plus the fact that it's so dark and hard to see since I take most of my own pictures indoors, is part of the reason. Oh well.

[lapushka]

It's interesting to see a couple of the comments about what the poster finds beautiful. I look at others and see very neat hemlines and textures and think "wow their hair is beautiful I want their hair". Then when I look at my hair in the mirror I don't see that. My hair is unkept and poofy by nature. So I try to embrace my natural texture. I could have flat neat hair, but I would need to flatten it down with cones and heat. I want long hair so all that heat damage just isn't going to do it for me. I try to embrace my own texture while admiring others. I will say that my hair doesn't get many compliments when I post it either. I think the texture combined with the length, plus the fact that it's so dark and hard to see since I take most of my own pictures indoors, is part of the reason. Oh well.

I can't remember, but... did you ever post pics of your hair, much? :confused:

[MidnightMoon]

I think pretty long hair>pretty short hair because it gives me more material to look at :P. I also associate it with things I like... I guess the reason why one has long hair has a saying in this. Of course I will admire someone closest to those paintings and photos I drool over, they are closer to *my* ideal.

[Larki]

Personally - long hair takes more effort and patience to obtain than short hair, and therefore it is naturally more impressive to me.

[calmyogi]

I can't remember, but... did you ever post pics of your hair, much? :confused:

I haven't made a point to make a thread dedicated to pictures of my hair. I have posted on threads like the BSL to waist and such. I just don't really have anyone to take pictures of my hair or take them outdoors and such to get good shots.... Well, I probably could ask my husband but honestly I feel like he already thinks I'm too crazy about my hair lol. I haven't really made a point to document my hair growth over the three years I have been on here either. I think I can compile some photos though. I should do that. But, yeah I think most of the time it's because I take the photos myself in the mirror so the detail and such just isn't that good. That might be why a lot of people don't get tons of comments, Not everyone posts photos that someone else took in good lighting so color and everything just isn't as stunning as it would be in real life. In real life I get some comments about my hair being pretty or nice. It's just now getting to a point where someone might say "it's long". It's nowhere near impressive yet though.

I also notice that here in TN, or the southern States in general, there are a lot of women with hair to their bottoms walking around so here it's just not as unusual.

[Groovy Granny]

I didn't intend to suggest that this is what the OPs and subsequent posters meant, either. Allow me to clarify, now that I am at a keyboard instead of on my phone, by annotating my original comment.


This relates not to the thread here, but to how I feel when posting photos of my hair elsewhere online. I have elsewhere on this board expressed reservations about taking and posting hair photos because I have been concerned about this, being perceived as needy, and had been reassured that since it's a hair community, that's what we're here for anyway. I am trying to find where I posted at length about this, but having trouble finding it now. Anyway, I admire people who are fearless about frequently posting pictures of themselves because they feel awesome and want to share that. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it is ok to do so too.


I've bolded the above because that's really the main point of my post. I, carelessly, hadn't considered that the reactions that I was getting to my hair photos might make other members at LHC feel slighted or less than others. Now that know that the effusive comments that I sometimes get in response to photos I post on my anniversary threads or the photo sharing thread causes pain and discomfort to other members, I'll be more careful, maybe posting them only to my blog so that only people who have chosen to be my friends can see them if they want.


In feeling sad about now having major qualms about posting any more hair pictures in the only place I felt safe doing so, (and I've made my albums private now, so that should help), I wrote this line more as a reminder to myself than anything else. If I'm feeling sad that I now have reservations about future posts, why is it that I'm feeling sad? Probably because I liked the compliments, and I need to remember that I'm not growing hair for compliments, but growing it because I like it.



It's true, I have been S&Ding a lot lately and still finding lots of splits, including in the short terminal length hairs right around my forehead. I saw in a number of posts above complaints about thudpiles forming only because of length, not because of clearly healthy hair or nice looking hemlines. I absolutely fall into that category. I need a cut, but the feelings about it are complicated, as I've written at length about elsewhere.

Dear all, I'm sorry if the attention that I've attracted when posting photos has hurt your feelings or made you feel like your hair is not beautiful. Please know that I posted them carelessly and will be more concerned about the feelings they might cause in the future, should I share anything with the forum.

This post made me sad...just in the fact you felt you had to justify your participation :(
You have every right to post your pics....this is a LONG HAIR COMMUNITY.....I find them inspiring....and THUDWORTHY!

I also appreciate every length from pixie to floor; WE ARE UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS....celebrate it (don't compete)..... no one head of hair is 'better' than another IMHO :o

I certainly understand privacy and safety....but if posting your pics makes others uncomfortable....THAT IS THEIR PROBLEM!

Yes we all have our moments of pride....we are human...and also need affirmation for various reasons at some points in our lives.

I am not here for an 'elite' membership, but to get inspiration and support...and pay it forward to those just starting out.

MY goal was attained and I CUT IT BACK....that is NOT failure....it is a personal choice

If cutting your own hair, or other long lengths make a person feel badly.....that person needs to investigate WHY those things bring about that response.
Hopefully they will grow emotionally from it....and come to appreciate their beauty and personal expression....and live it joyfully.

Yes a super long hair will get a THUD from me....it is a rare and amazing sight....and a super shortie will also get my kudos.....in whatever emoji it elicits.

Longer is not 'better'.......but BEAUTY IS BEAUTY....NO MATTER THE LENGTH!

[lapushka]

I haven't made a point to make a thread dedicated to pictures of my hair. I have posted on threads like the BSL to waist and such. I just don't really have anyone to take pictures of my hair or take them outdoors and such to get good shots.... Well, I probably could ask my husband but honestly I feel like he already thinks I'm too crazy about my hair lol. I haven't really made a point to document my hair growth over the three years I have been on here either. I think I can compile some photos though. I should do that. But, yeah I think most of the time it's because I take the photos myself in the mirror so the detail and such just isn't that good. That might be why a lot of people don't get tons of comments, Not everyone posts photos that someone else took in good lighting so color and everything just isn't as stunning as it would be in real life. In real life I get some comments about my hair being pretty or nice. It's just now getting to a point where someone might say "it's long". It's nowhere near impressive yet though.

I also notice that here in TN, or the southern States in general, there are a lot of women with hair to their bottoms walking around so here it's just not as unusual.

You definitely should do an anniversary thread in a while! :) Why not? Would give you a chance to compile what you got and get some well-deserved compliments and encouragements! :)

[lapushka]

I certainly understand privacy and safety....but if posting your pics makes others uncomfortable....THAT IS THEIR PROBLEM!

I never said this made me uncomfortable or that she shouldn't post her pictures, if you are alluding to me. :(

[Groovy Granny]

I never said this made me uncomfortable or that she shouldn't post her pictures, if you are alluding to me. :(

No, I wasn't ...but she has perceived that in others...as per her reply = my response to her post.

ETA:This whole thread evolution/situation is unsettling = unfollowing.

[floralgem]

The thing is hair can be at any length but if it looks healthy/has a nice color or texture/is thick people will thud pile.

[Bea18]

As much as I belive that the longer the hair is the beautiful it is, I agree a healthy looking hair is better, the two of them together is perfection.

[Bea18]

Personally - long hair takes more effort and patience to obtain than short hair, and therefore it is naturally more impressive to me.

I agree with you, longer hair just takes so much time and efford it's natually great.

[sarahthegemini]

Personally I think hair that is taken care of is beautiful. Shiny and glossy = yes please! Doesn't really bother me what length it is but I'm not one for super long hair anyway :)

[Capybara]

Interestingly, I've received more compliments and encouragement here on my shorter, less well kept hair than I ever did when my hair was ~classic. Part of the reason I didn't restore my albums after LHC went down (2011?) because I didn't think they were all that helpful. I love it here, and love that we can hve discussions like this.

[Flipgirl24]

To gossamer, please don't stop posting your pics! I haven't been here that long but I don't think being proud of your accomplishments is a bad thing. We are here to support each other. I love seeing pictures.

[languagenut]

Speaking only for myself, for those who are concerned about "gawking" and other unwanted attention, the "thuds" I give out are just a compact way of saying, "hey, that's awesome, good going, atta-boy (or atta-girl)!" after which point I immediately move on. I guess my point is that I don't think it's safe to assume that there is any lingering attention for anybody or their hair. (This is not a dating website, and besides, the Mod Team does an excellent job of weeding out the creepers.)

Just wanted to interject here on how much I appreciate that people understand that this is not a dating site! I've been on enough other sites (on other topics) where people evidently do not realize that, and that just doesn't make me really want to stick around, ya know what I'm sayin'? So being here and having nobody message me with unwanted advances is extremely refreshing! (end of tangent)

As for the question of does longer=more beautiful, I say no. The lady I usually sit behind at church, her hair is APL or so, certainly not the longest in the room. And yet every week I notice how beautiful it is; the way it has a sort of gradient from white at the top to blonde at the ends, its wavy texture, the way she styles it -- I always think that if I get white hair, I want it to look like hers. Now there are times when someone gets a haircut, and I think "oof!", but that's usually because the results aren't all that flattering to that particular person's face, figure, etc, not because of length (or lack thereof) itself.

As for the question of whether people should refrain from posting pictures of super long hair, or complimenting others' super long hair, I again say no. We are here to share our hair experiences, including our victories (always relative to our own personal goals) and our setbacks. And if someone is excited because their hair reached classic/knee/whatever, or because it looks so golden in the sunlight, or because they got a new brush and the results are so awesome, or whatever it may be, I have no problem with them sharing that, and others rejoicing and admiring with them. I know I am not among the longest of the long, and don't really plan to be. But I can appreciate the achievements of those who are, it does not make me feel hurt or less-than to see others having longer hair and being admired for it. And I would be very sad if people felt compelled to not do those things, out of fear of causing hurt to someone else.

Gossamer, to you particularly, I like your hair, I think it's cool. I don't feel at all hurt or marginalized or whatever seeing your pictures, and seeing others admiring them, as they certainly are worth admiring. Please don't feel like you have to hide your pictures or reduce your activity; I enjoy seeing them, and as you can tell from the thread, I am not alone in that.

And as for why some pictures get more response than others, there are so many different factors at play there. There is length for length's sake, and that's not a bad thing; as many have pointed out, this is the Long Hair Community. But there are also things like photo quality; I'm more likely to take notice of a picture that is clear and well lit than one that is dark and blurry (most of mine end up being the latter...), just for the simple reason that I can see better what it is a picture of! There is also the story behind the picture, if you are, say, growing out damage, and post the picture showing your progress, then people will rejoice with you in your success and tell you how great it looks. If you are reaching a particular goal, then people will be happy for your reaching that goal. And so many other factors. I think people are worrying about this more than they need to.

[languagenut]

Me too Suzi, I have two people inside me, the one that loves very long thick long hair and the one that loves curly, playful bob styles with mary jane heels :p

Alas! If only you were a Crissy doll (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crissy), then the problem would be solved! :rolling:

[Arete]

To me, hair is beautiful when it expresses a person's style and they are happy with it. I may be partial to wurls and curls, but that doesn't mean straighties hair isn't beautiful.
Likewise, I love long hair, but short hair can be gorgeous too. My friend just shaved the side of her head, and it is BEAUTIFUL. Another friend just chopped her BSL hair to a pixie, again, lovely. My mom has short 3A hair and I love that too. All of these are just as great as my sister's (3b) and my (2c) long hair :)

[Ligeia Noire]

da hell happened? People getting offended on a LONG HAIR COMMUNITY by pictures of LONG HAIR and that leading to them having to change their album to private? Too wild to be true, I have an album with only pictures of my hair not my face and I love to show it off so deal with it!!! >p

[Ligeia Noire]

Alas! If only you were a Crissy doll (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crissy), then the problem would be solved! :rolling:

ah ah ah ah I guess I partially am because I have face framing layers to my mtl hair but yeah

[Nymphe]

:rolling::rolling:
da hell happened? People getting offended on a LONG HAIR COMMUNITY by pictures of LONG HAIR and that leading to them having to change their album to private? Too wild to be true, I have an album with only pictures of my hair not my face and I love to show it off so deal with it!!! >p

:rolling: :rollin: :rolling:

[lapushka]

da hell happened? People getting offended on a LONG HAIR COMMUNITY by pictures of LONG HAIR and that leading to them having to change their album to private? Too wild to be true, I have an album with only pictures of my hair not my face and I love to show it off so deal with it!!! >p

Nobody even mentioned getting "offended", sorry. :flower: It was about people with shorter hair not getting the credit they deserve, and people almost *only* almost drooling over long hair, which makes it almost cringeworthy, and which is quite different wording than you have in your text.

[JaneHathaway]

da hell happened? People getting offended on a LONG HAIR COMMUNITY by pictures of LONG HAIR and that leading to them having to change their album to private? Too wild to be true, I have an album with only pictures of my hair not my face and I love to show it off so deal with it!!! >p

I didn't see anyone get offended by pictures of long hair. I didn't see that anyone had to change their album or pictures to private.

What I ​did see was spidermom's initial post about her own recent journey/experience being wildly misconstrued as some sort of personal attack on/jealousy of others and hinting that seeing their long hair reduces OP, and possibly others, to quivering, handwringing masses of insecurity.

I've reread the OP a dozen times and still have no idea how it was so misinterpreted and this thread so derailed when, instead, it could have led to a thoughtful discussion on choosing the best attainable hair for oneself even when - probably especially when - it's not the idealized version we'd hoped to achieve.

[Ligeia Noire]

OK sorry about using that word. Anyway, of course people will get more attention, praise, whatever, over pictures of long hair it is a long hair forum after all... Personally I enjoy every length but I understand why on such a forum one would get more interest or curiosity for long hair than short. Even though, I see praise for both types around here. So yeah it must have been quite the misunderstanding..

[Ginger Power]

I love long hair but I prefer thick shiny wavy shimmering hair (that's just my personal taste) and given the choice between short quality hair and long damaged hair, I'll prefer the short one. Of course if it's long AND beautiful... I'm fulfilled ! :D

I think people fantasize a lot about very long hair because it's rare and it's something most of people never had... so of course they're more admirative and curious about it. I don't see any kind of wrong about that. I understand that my hair is actually not so exciting compared to others here and I don't get it wrong, it doesn't hurt or disappoint me. I'm proud of my hair and of what it is right now. It's my own little treasure and I'm eager to see it grow ! :o

[vampyyri]

ETA:This whole thread evolution/situation is unsettling = unfollowing.

This exactly. I love LHC for the positivity and friendly vibe, and this thread is exactly that, unsettling. What it has spiraled into is very out of place here.

Especially with gossamer taking her photos off of public, it just makes me so sad :(

[JaneHathaway]

I apologize, Ligeia Noire. My previous post was certainly not directed toward you in particular, but the direction of the thread in general. I realize by replying to you it seemed otherwise and that's not the case. I'm sorry.

ETA: I'm grateful to all who post their pics. They've been a source of much inspiration and motivation.

[littlestarface]

Honestly long hair doesn't automatically=better as I have seen some girls with very messed up long hair but when I do see a beautiful long hair that's sooo gorgeous I will comment and I don't care if someone thinks that's cringe or disgusting, it;s my opinion and I don't care, just like I don't give a hoot who they praise.

I will be honest and say when I see someone here chop their hair off from being long I get sad and I don't like those threads at all neither do I like those shows that chop hair off and say "see she looks much better now" when she doesn't but that's my own thing and I'm not the one who has to live with it so ya it makes me sad but oh well I got my own longish hair to worry about.

[LadyCelestina]

Personally I do prefer long hair over short hair.
There are people who have long hair that is damaged or just not pretty, but I tend think along the lines of ' well if it's not pretty or healthy then at least it's long!'.
I don't think short hair looks bad, it's often prettier than many of the longhairs I see in the wild, but it's not long and I prefer long hair. Not just the pretty and healthy long hair, (mostly) all long hair. I think the hair equivalent of 'pretty,but not my type' ?

Of course this is just me. A girl I have in friends on FB follows several short-hair pages, so I guess she doesn't really prefer long hair. And that's ok since not everyone has to love what you love or what you have on your head, right?

As for the compliments- I'd rather get a genuine compliment on my length than a compliment because someone thinks shorter hair is not appreciated enough on LHC :shrug:

also I'm a bit desensitised because everyone here has nice hair, so I only compliment people when what they post is really really striking, even though the other pics are pretty as well.

[kidari]

I prefer long hair over short hair as well but some people really pull off short hair very well and short hair can sometimes look better than long hair. That being said, I do prefer long hair and this is a long hair forum so yes I admit I think I do tend to compliment more on extreme lengths that is very well taken care of because it gets a reaction out of me. That doesn't mean long hair is better than short hair at all; it's just my preference and I admire the rarity and all the time and patience and care it took to get hair long and healthy (not to mention the genetics involved in the thickness, texture, color, and just the fact that terminal for them is not at waist or shorter). I don't think I'll ever have that in my lifetime (I don't have the patience plus I don't think mine would grow past hip) but I can't help but to gawk at it in admiration.

[Upside Down]

It is a long hair forum, gathering people who like long hair, and it can be expected that very long hair will get more attention than short.

And distributing compliments evenly? Those are not sincere.

And taking pictures off public? Personal choice and decision. I will never be offended by hair that is longer than mine. Hell, to each their own. I am not big on complimenting all around the place but yeah, hair to the floor is thud worthy if only for the effort and patience it took.

Actually, not just patience. More like the decision to be off the beaten path. Like I would always admire a full body tattoo - not that I want it for myself.

I can understand how a forum will sway a decision to cut or not, especially if you spend a lot of time here. Although virtual this is a social interaction so of course it has an effect on us who participate.

[lapushka]

And distributing compliments evenly? Those are not sincere.

Why wouldn't that be sincere, if it's not about length per sé?

[sarahthegemini]

I'm confused as to what's happening with this thread, shall we not all just agree that beautiful hair is beautiful. Regardless of length, colour, texture etc :cheese:

[lapushka]

I'm confused as to what's happening with this thread, shall we not all just agree that beautiful hair is beautiful. Regardless of length, colour, texture etc :cheese:

Yeah, that seems great! :D :thumbsup:

[HeartofHaleth]

Okey dokey, I haven't been following this thread very faithfully, but I just read/skimmed through it to get up to speed, and I figured I'd add my two cents, even though I should probably leave well enough alone. Gossamer, I hope you read this, but it's something I want to share with everyone. This is going dive deep into personal territory, so strap in, everybody!

Regarding the feeling of guilt over posting pictures and wondering if it's just "fishing for compliments":

I can feel guilty about ANYTHING. I've felt guilty about having fun, enjoying things, feeling good about myself, being better off than someone else, having emotions, EATING FOOD for goodness' sake, NOT eating food...the list goes on. Some of those feelings have very specific reasons behind them, but that's beside the point. For a long time I felt incredibly guilty about being comfortable with my physical appearance. I have a tendency to take things and run with them. Growing up in the church, I was taught about the value of humility and the sin of pride. I took this to the extreme of "if I like anything about myself, I'm doing something wrong". Add to this an older sister who was harshly critical of me and told me that I was vain if I said I looked good and "fishing for compliments" if I said I looked bad. I was so uncomfortable with compliments that I found it difficult to even acknowledge them. Then came a very dark period that involved a lot of self-hatred. Trying to climb out of that pit, I knew I had to start viewing myself in a more healthy way. I decided that it was okay to feel good about myself, and even to express that to others. There's nothing wrong with looking in the mirror and liking what you see. There's nothing wrong with saying "I think I look pretty fine today!". And there's nothing wrong with sharing that feeling with the world! The world could use more people who are confident and unashamed. Of course self-worth shouldn't be dependent on the praise of others, but that doesn't mean that praise is is something to feel guilt over! I hope at least some of that made sense!

And now, for something completely different (but not really)...

Regarding length vs. health:

Somebody further up the thread said something about how not everybody is aiming for beauty. I think they made an excellent point, and I would quote them, but I'm too lazy to sift back through and find the post. You know who you are! ;) Yes, hair health is very important to a lot of us, and I know it can be sad to see hair that has been heavily damaged, but I don't think we should demonize those whose hair is very long but in less-than-pristine condition. For some, and I think I kind of fall into this camp a little bit, just want to test their limits and see how long their hair can grow. Not everybody can treat their hair like fine silk, and not everybody wants to take the time. Sometimes compromises have to be made. I don't think we should be too harsh to someone who posts a picture of not-so-healthy hair. Maybe they're just excited about the fact that they're achieving personal goals that have more to do with length than health. Which leads me to one more point, and then I promise I'll be quiet! ;D IMMHO, long hair garners more attention here because it represents an achievement. It represents the determination of a person who is overcoming obstacles to reach a goal that they have set for themselves. I'm not saying that that perception of things is necessarily correct or fair to everyone, that's just something that I think might contribute.

There, all done flapping my jaws! I'll probably regret this post later, but oh well. If I stepped on anyone's toes, please know that it was entirely accidental! I'm not trying to put anyone down or call anyone out here, just sharing thoughts and experiences in hopes that someone will find them useful!

[Ligeia Noire]

Haleth said it all. And I am on the cell can't really quote but someone said no one was setting their album to private well actually that's exactly what Gossamer said she would do and I think that's just ridiculous that someone would feel in such a way on SUCH FORUM that they might have to do that. I am not here a lot because I do not have time but lately I have fridays off so I try to check what's new and every time I see some head of hair I love I comment, be it short or long but mostly I am on the threads that interest me because of obvious reasons, if my hair is wurly what will I be doing on straight thread, I could be there but when time is short you have to select...so I might not see all that is of interest because humanly impossible. Actually I had comments from August on my album which I've only recently replied. But yeah I felt annoyed that someone such as Gossamer is restraining from posting her pictures because of all this bs and if spidermom cuts her hair she will still be up there, sitting with the hair gods.... But mostly I just think people comment on what they like and some comments just get buried and even if long hair gets more praise than short, well duh in a short hair forum it would be the opposite and I also want to comment on those tv makeovers they all make me cringe yes not because they are cutting hair off but because they offend people with long hair saying things like it makes you look old, or you are too old for it or you look ugly and also because it always looks like it is against their will and they just want to please others but we are not in this world to please others. I think Gossamer probably said that out of impulsiveness but yeah I won't keep myself from posting my pictures on threads that are there for that and if that's fishing for compliments on someone's opinion I couldn't care less. I personally think that it is well taken care of and If I am having a good hair day why not showing it off? I wear it up every single day that when I let it loose I feel like taking a picture for posterity :-P

So long story short, do not take life so seriously and live and let live. Sorry if my previous posts offended anyone but I am blunt like my hemline ah ah ah OK I stopped.

[luxurioushair]

Well, I don't know about beauty, since I've seen people with long very unhealthy hair. But very long healthy hair is impressive. Not necesaarily because of the beauty, but you think of the patience and dedication, and the length of time it took to grow it. That's really what impresses me.

[truepeacenik]

If this was said, I missed it in 14 pages.

We aren't here to decorate anyone's world but our own. Even in our own minds.

As a child, I had a neighbor who collected figurines. Garish, squats, ugly figurines, but they brought her great joy. She would pass the SparkJoy test so easily. Her husband occasionally suggested moving to earthquake territory. He loathed those figurines.

Our hair is our figurines.
We get it, therefore we will be supportive. I tell my kid when friends fail at getting some aspect, to go find her freaks. They are out there. (In both senses, and this is a high compliment)
We have found our freaks! Isn't it wonderful?

As for staying quiet when the big chop posts get made, I'm guilty. I'm not lying to someone. After all the work, the bad stretches, I see a chop as a small failure, because I personalize it to me.
If I say that someone's cut looks good, I freaking mean it. Especially if it makes curls sproing.
If I post, wow, you must like those ends, pm me and verbally slap me. That's faint praise. And people deserve better.

Many of us live in situations where our hair isn't appreciated. We are unfashionable, wearing it too long at too late an age, must be dirty hippies or oddly religious, and we are vaguely creepy.
We don't have to be liars.

Fishing for compliments? So freaking what? Maybe the poster needs that in that moment. Maybe those photos will inspire someone else.

We are the long hair community. We post about long hair. We have boards for not hair stuff, too. If seeing hair upsets you...well...KNI just shut me down, and T won't pull me through.

I have said a few times that I see boards as a big table we are all sitting around with tea, cookies, cheese and that have you.
Assume the best. Correct the worst.

It's just hair, but it is OUR hair.

[MsBubbles]

My perception of 'thud' reactions here is that sure, the longer the thuddier, in general. This is purely a neutral observation and it doesn't bother me either way, as I suspect it doesn't bother most. I always considered it part of LHC custom. Personally though, I usually thud people's hair if I see something that strikes me about it (curls, waves, long, short, color, condition, or just a great photo).

It's all good (hair). :thumbsup:

[Flipgirl24]

I don't see cutting one's hair a failure. If someone wants a change, then that is their choice, not a failure. If one cuts her hair short because it was damaged, that isnt a failure, it's a remedy. I would much rather see someone chop off their hair to get rid of damage than to see someone with hair down to their knees but not taken care of and split ends up to their ears. HTo me, that is quite brave because they took the time to grow their hair and then cut it. And to many, hair is just hair.

Many people look amazing in short hair. Some people look awful with long hair. If you prefer long hair great. If you prefer short hair great too.

I think hair should flatter one's face, shape and style. But it is how you wear your hair that matters. I have a friend who always has her hair up. One day, she had it down to brush it. I couldn't believe how long it was. It did not suit her look or her personality. It wasn't her choice to have it long but there is so much going on in her life that she hasn't had the time. I've seen pictures of her with short hair and it's gorgeous. And she wears it well.

To me, it's not a question of whether long or short hair is beautiful. It's how your hair makes you feel that determines the beauty.

[HairPlease]

I don't see cutting one's hair a failure. If someone wants a change, then that is their choice, not a failure. If one cuts her hair short because it was damaged, that isnt a failure, it's a remedy. I would much rather see someone chop off their hair to get rid of damage than to see someone with hair down to their knees but not taken care of and split ends up to their ears. HTo me, that is quite brave because they took the time to grow their hair and then cut it. And to many, hair is just hair.

Many people look amazing in short hair. Some people look awful with long hair. If you prefer long hair great. If you prefer short hair great too.

I think hair should flatter one's face, shape and style. But it is how you wear your hair that matters. I have a friend who always has her hair up. One day, she had it down to brush it. I couldn't believe how long it was. It did not suit her look or her personality. It wasn't her choice to have it long but there is so much going on in her life that she hasn't had the time. I've seen pictures of her with short hair and it's gorgeous. And she wears it well.

To me, it's not a question of whether long or short hair is beautiful. It's how your hair makes you feel that determines the beauty.

I love this post. Beautiful hair is the hair that makes it's owner happy. Nobody has a right to tell you what should make you happy.

[Of the Fae]

I didn't intend to suggest that this is what the OPs and subsequent posters meant, either. Allow me to clarify, now that I am at a keyboard instead of on my phone, by annotating my original comment.


This relates not to the thread here, but to how I feel when posting photos of my hair elsewhere online. I have elsewhere on this board expressed reservations about taking and posting hair photos because I have been concerned about this, being perceived as needy, and had been reassured that since it's a hair community, that's what we're here for anyway. I am trying to find where I posted at length about this, but having trouble finding it now. Anyway, I admire people who are fearless about frequently posting pictures of themselves because they feel awesome and want to share that. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it is ok to do so too.


I've bolded the above because that's really the main point of my post. I, carelessly, hadn't considered that the reactions that I was getting to my hair photos might make other members at LHC feel slighted or less than others. Now that know that the effusive comments that I sometimes get in response to photos I post on my anniversary threads or the photo sharing thread causes pain and discomfort to other members, I'll be more careful, maybe posting them only to my blog so that only people who have chosen to be my friends can see them if they want.


In feeling sad about now having major qualms about posting any more hair pictures in the only place I felt safe doing so, (and I've made my albums private now, so that should help), I wrote this line more as a reminder to myself than anything else. If I'm feeling sad that I now have reservations about future posts, why is it that I'm feeling sad? Probably because I liked the compliments, and I need to remember that I'm not growing hair for compliments, but growing it because I like it.



It's true, I have been S&Ding a lot lately and still finding lots of splits, including in the short terminal length hairs right around my forehead. I saw in a number of posts above complaints about thudpiles forming only because of length, not because of clearly healthy hair or nice looking hemlines. I absolutely fall into that category. I need a cut, but the feelings about it are complicated, as I've written at length about elsewhere.

Dear all, I'm sorry if the attention that I've attracted when posting photos has hurt your feelings or made you feel like your hair is not beautiful. Please know that I posted them carelessly and will be more concerned about the feelings they might cause in the future, should I share anything with the forum.

I have to agree with some of the others though: your hair has inspired me because I saw that it ís possible to perhaps reach a length like that, and I think it looks amazing. It really helped me push through when I thought I would never get long hair. I've been a shorty all my life, but I had always wanted hair that was very long. When I came here and saw that a lot of people managed to grow it to amazing lengths in good condition, this was a huge motivation for me to try and get there as well. I can honestly say I would NEVER have reached waist length hair if it wasn't for all of you and your pictures.

Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with sharing a thing you are proud of and have put work and love into!

I think it makes sense that people respond stronger to long hair here. It is a LONG hair community. Although I agree with hair looking best at every length when it is healthy, and I also know people with stunning beautiful hair that is short, I myself want to have very long hair, and it has always been something that impressed me and that I found to be magical and awesome. Of course long hair in a bad state is not preferable to short hair in an awesome state, but that's what this community to me was always there for: to help one choose the best routine to have optimal hair at ANY length, but with emphasis on LONG hair because, well, it's not easy to find out how to care for it in mainstream media or at your local hairdresser's. I also have a side cut by the way, which gives an asymmetrical look and really compliments my face, so I completely understand how needs can change and people are torn between wanting a lovely short bob or lengthy tresses, and also how a look different from middle part long hair can be more aesthetically pleasing on some people more than others.

[turtlelover]

Visually, BSL to tailbone tend to be my favorite lengths. Longer hair than that can look nice to me, and occasionally I see some that I find to be flattering to the person that wears it, but not as often. As a rule I prefer healthier looking hair over super long hair. Some short cuts are fun, too. A girl I work with recently cut her hair into a short, curly bob and I think it is great and actually like it better than I liked her longer hair. In some cases I might feel sad because someone with pretty, long hair cut it, but that certainly isn't enough to rock my world. In the end, it is just hair. Have fun with it!

[BlondeBeauty]

I think that health hair should come first :) But all lengths are beautiful.

[hennalonghair]

A big fat no!

[mermaid lullaby]

Hmm...that's tricky to a answer.
I think it's not exactly the length really, I think it's the way it's cut. My hair can look great with fairytale U shape, but the blunt doesn't look that great on me.

[yahirwaO.o]

Hmmm I think my arguements would go more for thickness than lenght it self. This might be my own perception but thicker hair always get more comments and such versus thin or normal thickness. Now I think all hair stypes are super lovely and Im a finey myself so again its just my opinion.

Both short and long can be nice and not so cute but depeds a lot on the natural texure, hair care and many other factors. Yes LHC does have an aproach for thick long lucusios hair yet we have supportivethreads for any other welcome textures and styles! I mean even bald can recieve nice comments so esentially this forum is very friendly with anyone who is happy or willing to have a better hair care aproach!

[EbonyCurls]

I agree with those that say hair health trumps hair length. We all have our *favorite* length and style that we find the most aesthetically pleasing, and I like something different about each length. I love the amount of crazy updos that can be done with hair that is past tailbone, and the initial wow-factor of that length when it's down. My personal favorite length/cut is U/V shape, or tapered fairytale no longer than tail-bone because I love how it complements the hips and waist and frames the, um bottom. It's still very long, but doesn't hide or cover other things, and creates a nice, balanced picture. Some people like being "unbalanced" LOL and that paints its own striking picture as well, and is fun to look at even if I couldn't handle it myself.

[Unzadi]

Healthy hair is beautiful at any length, to me. As long as it suits the person wearing it, that's where the beauty lies.

[Long_hair_bear]

Longer isn't always better. scraggly ends? no thanks....

[Garnetgem]

Healthy hair is beautiful no matter its length....i think healthy hair will get noticed whether its short or long...even when my hair was shorter than it is now i was always having comments on its condition even total strangers approached me to ask what shampoo i was using..at the end of the day hair is hair and hair is beautiful!

[Wusel]

I love all lengths of healthy, neat hair. For me, not the length is what makes hair beautiful. It's the texture, shine, color and style. I've seen some very long but dry and damaged hair and that's not beautiful hair for me. And when I comment on short hair and say it's beautiful, I MEAN IT. Just recently I've seen here a short-style-head full of wonderful curls and with a wonderful color and it was BEAUTIFUL. SHORT AND SOOO BEAUTIFUL.
It's a pity that beautiful short haired people don't get as much attention and thuds as those who give the floor a sweep with their ends.

[Wusel]

I forgot to metion something...
A year ago or so when my hair was BSL or so I've posted a picture of it somewhere here, I'm not sure where it was. It looked great in the photo and I was really proud of the length but... after i've posted my picture and before i posted it in the same thread many other very long haired people posted their pictures and got SO MANY thuds and comments how wonderful their hair was... And MY PHOTO being between them go NO POSITIVE COMMENT. Not even ONE NICE word. That was SO sad to me. Since that day I comment MORE OFTEN on shorter hair than on very long hair. Because I know how it feels to be proud of APL or BSL hair and get NO COMMENT, be IGNORED COMPLETELY.
In my video (in the signature) my hair still isn't long for LHC standards but I'm SO happy about EVERY positive comment from people on YouTube who aren't here and aren't used to see floor length hair. For YouTube standards (which are average standards) my hair in the video is VERY LONG and thudworthy. And it was when it was BSL too. But here it's not always like this. That's sad.

[Wusel]

A day after I've posted the video a friend called me and said: "OMG, your hair got SOOO long!!! It's SOOOOO long! It's incredible!!! How did you get it SOOOOOOOOO long!!!???"
You see how much the standards here differ from the normal world out there? Isn't it sad?

[Gothic]

I know that I'm very very new here (I was lurking there a few months before finally joining) but I've seen some long hairs in real life that were full of split ends and dry and the ends were like 3 strands (not the beautiful fairy tale ends) hanging down.
So yeah I think health, shine, texture comes first:)

[Jadestorm]

I don't think longer is necessarily better or more beautiful.

[Anya15]

I think all heads of hair are beautiful :D

[JaneHathaway]

A day after I've posted the video a friend called me and said: "OMG, your hair got SOOO long!!! It's SOOOOO long! It's incredible!!! How did you get it SOOOOOOOOO long!!!???"
You see how much the standards here differ from the normal world out there? Isn't it sad?

As a newcomer I was surprised that what I consider long is apparently perceived as kind of ho-hum here. Personally, I'll be thrilled if I can achieve a healthy BSL. Also, I found your video delightful and your hair both long and beautiful.

[neko_kawaii]

Check out this poll: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=140321, the first post shows the same poll over a handful of years, showing year to year changes in collective LHC lengths.

Some people are here to maintain, some to grow, others to improve, and many simply because they like the community and the diversity of topics that are discussed along with hair.

It isn't a competition for who has the longest or thickest or most beautiful hair. Comments/complements are based on the sheer luck that someone who liked what they saw happened to see the thread and photo, felt like commenting and had time to do so.

I think someone already mentioned that good photography will get more comments regardless of the content of the photo.

But really, our self worth and contentment should not be tied to how many complements we receive!

[Wusel]

As a newcomer I was surprised that what I consider long is apparently perceived as kind of ho-hum here. Personally, I'll be thrilled if I can achieve a healthy BSL. Also, I found your video delightful and your hair both long and beautiful.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! You've made my day. I'm in bed with temperature and a bad cold, feeling terrible. And you've made me smile from ear to ear. THANK you!!! :flower: :flower: :flower:

[DaveDecker]

I love all lengths of healthy, neat hair. For me, not the length is what makes hair beautiful. It's the texture, shine, color and style. I've seen some very long but dry and damaged hair and that's not beautiful hair for me. And when I comment on short hair and say it's beautiful, I MEAN IT. Just recently I've seen here a short-style-head full of wonderful curls and with a wonderful color and it was BEAUTIFUL. SHORT AND SOOO BEAUTIFUL.
It's a pity that beautiful short haired people don't get as much attention and thuds as those who give the floor a sweep with their ends.


I forgot to metion something...
A year ago or so when my hair was BSL or so I've posted a picture of it somewhere here, I'm not sure where it was. It looked great in the photo and I was really proud of the length but... after i've posted my picture and before i posted it in the same thread many other very long haired people posted their pictures and got SO MANY thuds and comments how wonderful their hair was... And MY PHOTO being between them go NO POSITIVE COMMENT. Not even ONE NICE word. That was SO sad to me. Since that day I comment MORE OFTEN on shorter hair than on very long hair. Because I know how it feels to be proud of APL or BSL hair and get NO COMMENT, be IGNORED COMPLETELY.
In my video (in the signature) my hair still isn't long for LHC standards but I'm SO happy about EVERY positive comment from people on YouTube who aren't here and aren't used to see floor length hair. For YouTube standards (which are average standards) my hair in the video is VERY LONG and thudworthy. And it was when it was BSL too. But here it's not always like this. That's sad.


A day after I've posted the video a friend called me and said: "OMG, your hair got SOOO long!!! It's SOOOOO long! It's incredible!!! How did you get it SOOOOOOOOO long!!!???"
You see how much the standards here differ from the normal world out there? Isn't it sad?

To me it seems natural that the very long and healthy heads of hair garner lots of compliments. In theory it's not that difficult to grow really long hair (at least as long as one's own terminal length, or nearly so), but to have that length of hair in great condition does take some doing, so the kudos those people get acknowledge the impressive result of that achievement).

That said, I agree that there are beautiful heads of hair shown here in the forum that are shorter than very long (even quite a bit so), and they do deserve compliments, and it is up to each and every one of us here who agrees that those heads of hair are beautiful to ensure that the people behind those photos are not allowed to pass without recognition. If you (the general "you") see a nice head of hair that hasn't been complimented? Go ahead and give 'em a thumbs up or kudos or whatever positive comment you prefer. :)

Beyond that, regarding your comment about different standards for LHC versus the normal world, it could also be said that it is sad that those out in the "normal" world who appreciate, say, a beautiful and healthy head of waist-length hair (such as you have, Wusel) don't all seem to realize that they too can be "well-tressed" if they bothered to educate themselves on hair care (and maybe check out LHC) instead of relying on the "normal" world for guidance on hair care and "acceptable" lengths and styling techniques, etc.

[Decoy24601]

To me it seems natural that the very long and healthy heads of hair garner lots of compliments. In theory it's not that difficult to grow really long hair (at least as long as one's own terminal length, or nearly so), but to have that length of hair in great condition does take some doing, so the kudos those people get acknowledge the impressive result of that achievement).

That said, I agree that there are beautiful heads of hair shown here in the forum that are shorter than very long (even quite a bit so), and they do deserve compliments, and it is up to each and every one of us here who agrees that those heads of hair are beautiful to ensure that the people behind those photos are not allowed to pass without recognition. If you (the general "you") see a nice head of hair that hasn't been complimented? Go ahead and give 'em a thumbs up or kudos or whatever positive comment you prefer. :)

Beyond that, regarding your comment about different standards for LHC versus the normal world, it could also be said that it is sad that those out in the "normal" world who appreciate, say, a beautiful and healthy head of waist-length hair (such as you have, Wusel) don't all seem to realize that they too can be "well-tressed" if they bothered to educate themselves on hair care (and maybe check out LHC) instead of relying on the "normal" world for guidance on hair care and "acceptable" lengths and styling techniques, etc.

I agree with you, but just to play the devil's advocate, why are we responsible to encourage the dependency of other people on what people besides themselves find beautiful?

[vampyyri]

Just popping in to say I can't believe this thread is still going, and that the negativity/hurt feelings of it is really rubbing off on me. I'm having a hard time enjoying myself on this site without this nagging thought in the back of my head.

I know I'm being counter-intuitive by bumping this thread yet again... but surely I'm not the only one whose experience here has been soured.

[DaveDecker]

I agree with you, but just to play the devil's advocate, why are we responsible to encourage the dependency of other people on what people besides themselves find beautiful?

Decoy, I totally agree with your sentiment. My suggestion is to those who feel that it is sad or unfortunate that some people's photos don't get praised in the forum. IMO, by default, every person who posts their picture here (a) should not expect to receive any compliments (even if their hair is seen as praise-worthy by some/most/many/all), and (b) should assume that their own hair is worthy of praise.

[littlestarface]

Decoy, I totally agree with your sentiment. My suggestion is to those who feel that it is sad or unfortunate that some people's photos don't get praised in the forum. IMO, by default, every person who posts their picture here (a) should not expect to receive any compliments (even if their hair is seen as praise-worthy by some/most/many/all), and (b) should assume that their own hair is worthy of praise.

Agreed! I never expect a compliment honestly but I know my hair isn't all that to myself, so I don't get any hurt feelings or expectations from anyone here. This place is just a nice place to just relax and let my hair down since literally no one ever sees my hair down and the 1 person who does see it just complains about it :rollin: I will never cut my hair but not cuz of this forum and wanting praise but because of myself and my hair view.

[lapushka]

I love all lengths of healthy, neat hair. For me, not the length is what makes hair beautiful. It's the texture, shine, color and style. I've seen some very long but dry and damaged hair and that's not beautiful hair for me. And when I comment on short hair and say it's beautiful, I MEAN IT. Just recently I've seen here a short-style-head full of wonderful curls and with a wonderful color and it was BEAUTIFUL. SHORT AND SOOO BEAUTIFUL.
It's a pity that beautiful short haired people don't get as much attention and thuds as those who give the floor a sweep with their ends.

Yep, my point exactly. :)

[lapushka]

I forgot to metion something...
A year ago or so when my hair was BSL or so I've posted a picture of it somewhere here, I'm not sure where it was. It looked great in the photo and I was really proud of the length but... after i've posted my picture and before i posted it in the same thread many other very long haired people posted their pictures and got SO MANY thuds and comments how wonderful their hair was... And MY PHOTO being between them go NO POSITIVE COMMENT. Not even ONE NICE word. That was SO sad to me. Since that day I comment MORE OFTEN on shorter hair than on very long hair. Because I know how it feels to be proud of APL or BSL hair and get NO COMMENT, be IGNORED COMPLETELY.
In my video (in the signature) my hair still isn't long for LHC standards but I'm SO happy about EVERY positive comment from people on YouTube who aren't here and aren't used to see floor length hair. For YouTube standards (which are average standards) my hair in the video is VERY LONG and thudworthy. And it was when it was BSL too. But here it's not always like this. That's sad.

OMG, that is so sad, and shouldn't be the case - at all. I'm sorry. :(

[Pacific]

IMO, by default, every person who posts their picture here (a) should not expect to receive any compliments (even if their hair is seen as praise-worthy by some/most/many/all), and (b) should assume that their own hair is worthy of praise.
That's exactly my opinion.
If I post a pic and get a comment, it's ok. If not it's also ok.
:)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I have also posted pics which haven't received comments. That's ok. It's just part of being on a hair board. It doesn't mean people think badly of me, or my hair.

[spidermom]

I don't understand why a few people are getting such a bad vibe from this thread. Beyond a few comments that were kind of "ouch", I think the general attitude has been that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and not even all the people on this long hair website believe that longer is better.

I confess that when I post pictures, I come back to see what people are saying, hoping they're saying nice things. Sorry if that makes me an attention 'ho or something else negative. It's not like compliments make me and lack of them break me, but it's uplifting to get them, to see that what I have spent so much time and attention caring for is appreciated by others.

[Connemara]

I may not have much say or sway here as a newbie but in many ways I can see both sides. I can see why some new people can be intimidated by posting, as I was a couple years ago, because I didn't feel that I had anything of value to contribute. Still in many ways I feel as if I don't measure up in knowledge or length; however that is also a personal problem, caused solely by my extreme social ineptitude, not by anyone on LHC. Growing hair at any length is a learning experience, what works at APL may not work at BSL, Waist, or Hip. Everyone does have something to contribute (advice, encouragement, etc..) whether they probably realize it or not.

As mentioned throughout the thread beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are plenty of people on this forum with gorgeous hair short, long, straight, curly, dreadlocked and dyed! I enjoy seeing the super long lengths because they give me hope. I want to encourage the shorties because I remember what it was like to be there. I think it would be sad for anyone to feel purposely shamed for their length be cause it is a long journey to get there! It's a journey that takes so much patience and learning. Still at the end of the day, this is a sizeable board, not everyone will get a direct reply to their comment or a thud for every extra inch. It's not because what has be contributed is undeserving, it's because some sections are quite fast paced, and what may interest one person may not interest another. Luckily I don't grow my hair for the world, nor this forum I grow my hair for my own personal aesthetics. I think I would be sad if people did grow on here purely out of expectations because our hair is in many ways a hobby, it's supposed to be a source of learning and enjoyment. As someone else said in this thread we're not here to decorate the world, it's very true! We're here to help and encourage others, not to hair shame.

Sorry for rambling!

[MidnightMoon]

I think we might be getting over emotional here... not getting compliments on one's hair is not "sad", dude, there's people dying out there, there's also bald people, there's millions of people out there who will always have something "better" than us, prettier, slimmer, smarter, richer. I admire pretty long hair more than I admire short pretty hair and that's not gonna change, it's my natural and sincere response to something, no need to falsely pretend I'm amazed or admiring something I'm not.
If there is something I admire about a certain short hairstyle, I definitely say it. Here, it usually goes to the ones who sport a sort of edgy style, say for example a v-shaped fringe and blue hair and the overall look catches my attention.
Not gonna develop an acquired taste for regular/common short hair.

ps. I get ignored all the time, and I'm not talking about hair. Sometimes I even reply to the question the OP asked, and it's like I didn't. Sometimes I comment on someones hair or style and don't get a reply either. Tthat's one of the reasons why I stopped taking this place too seriously.

[Entangled]

I don't really post pictures here unless there's something really nice about my texture or am showing off a stick. Honestly, my hair on a day-to-day basis isn't very "thud worthy," and I'm okay with that--my hair pleases me as it is. I only get frustrated when people don't comment, which is why I try to only post pictures I find comment worthy (pictures I would go out of my way to compliment if I saw them on someone else's head). It's just less stressful overall to worry about getting responses when I'm not looking for a solution to a problem. I tried to get a lot of attention as a newbie and experimented with different posting styles and thread titles, but then settled into a semi-lurk mode (albeit a confident lurk mode).

To be honest, what I'm most glad is that mods generally keep creepers off...I found one in an app of mine, which was a first. Said 27-ish guy complimented me on my old 15-year-old self's picture and kept coming around to asking me how long my hair was and asking me for a face picture. He was nice, but the repeated comments (Long hair, blue eyes, you're like a dream. Can you send me a picture of your beautiful face) were downright creepy. I'm okay with comments that tend towards complimenting long hair as long as the creepy people stay away. Honestly, when I was around apl-bsl, I didn't hang out around similar length threads. I only looked at my goal length threads for inspiration and complimented the people I admired.

I do think there is some bias here towards blunt hemlines, extra long hair (classic +), and, especially, thick hair. Someone with knee length hair and little taper is guaranteed a gazillion thuds. However, I do think people in general can appreciate hair that is different, and people without such goals do not get much overt criticism.

[Decoy24601]

Decoy, I totally agree with your sentiment. My suggestion is to those who feel that it is sad or unfortunate that some people's photos don't get praised in the forum. IMO, by default, every person who posts their picture here (a) should not expect to receive any compliments (even if their hair is seen as praise-worthy by some/most/many/all), and (b) should assume that their own hair is worthy of praise.
I couldn't agree more ;).

[Nymphe]

Instead of focusing on the negative, use this as an opportunity to expand your horizons. I have seen a few posters encourage and advice others with shorter lengths or different textures. When I post pics of my hair, I expect nothing in return; I do it to keep myself movtivated and... someone will see my tiny spirals and realize, "Maybe my hair is not as difficult or bad as I think if this person can handle such tighly coiled hair."

As someone who has the least desired hair texture, I can think of worse things to sweat over than the approval/disapproval of who get the most/best compliments, genuine or forced. Keep turning lemons into lemonade, I say!

[lapushka]

Instead of focusing on the negative, use this as an opportunity to expand your horizons. I have seen a few posters encourage and advice others with shorter lengths or different textures. When I post pics of my hair, I expect nothing in return; I do it to keep myself movtivated and... someone will see my tiny spirals and realize, "Maybe my hair is not as difficult or bad as I think if this person can handle such tighly coiled hair."

As someone who has the least desired hair texture, I can think of worse things to sweat over than the approval/disapproval of who get the most/best compliments, genuine or forced. Keep turning lemons into lemonade, I say!

I don't think that's true. ;) I strongly admire curly textures, tightly coiled, or loosely coiled. Maybe because I "only" have wavy hair.

[Nymphe]

I don't think that's true. ;) I strongly admire curly textures, tightly coiled, or loosely coiled. Maybe because I "only" have wavy hair.

You are a sweetheart! I am just being real; not even most people of my own race want this hair type. With time and increased exposure to healthy, kinky coils, that negative mindset is slowly changing. :)

[lapushka]

You are a sweetheart! I am just being real; not even most people of my own race want this hair type. With time and increased exposure to healthy, kinky coils, that negative mindset is slowly changing. :)

I'm glad, because IMMHO curly hair is *gorgeous*! :D

[luxurioushair]

A day after I've posted the video a friend called me and said: "OMG, your hair got SOOO long!!! It's SOOOOO long! It's incredible!!! How did you get it SOOOOOOOOO long!!!???"
You see how much the standards here differ from the normal world out there? Isn't it sad?

Yeah but this is clearly a forum for long hair enthusiasts...Naturally you can't expect everyone here to have the same hair expectations as the average person who doesn't really care about hair length.

[EbonyCurls]

I posted a couple photos of the start of my journey, at chin length...I think only in threads either celebrating short hair, or in threads specifically asking for photos of starting length. I got some comments, but I think moreso b/c the photo was "on topic" and there were other shorties posting photos as well.

I like compliments on my photos, hell, I look for them (who doesn't). But I have never been disappointed not to get them. I like looking at pretty hair on others even more so than posting my own though. Usually I don't even know someone commented unless I happen across that thread again.

[Anya15]

I'm glad, because IMMHO curly hair is *gorgeous*! :D

Couldn't agree more! Not that straight hair isn't, but I've always wished I had real curls! :D

All your hair is beautiful, LHC. Long, short, dyed, bleached, straight, curly, wavy, whatever. I don't think there's any point in keeping your hair a certain way if it doesn't make *you* happy. If crazy colors make you happy, go for it. If a short bob makes you happy, go for it. Not everyone might want to have floor-length hair.

[Dessi]

Just thought I'd say I don't think it's sad that LHC standards are different than the real life standards. Yes, it may seem sad that a long by non-LHC standards hair would be described as ''not so long'' and more ''common'' here, but what I think is way way worse is that a long hair by LHC standards (let's say Classic) would be described as gross and too long by a lot of people in real life. Since that's a long hair forum, I find it completely normal that the standards here are different and I'm glad that a TBL/Classic or longer hair would be appreciated here and no one would say 'hey, cut your hair, it's too long, how can you even like your hair like that?!''.
As for the topic, I do like different textures and lengths of hair, but indeed longer hair is more likely to catch my attention, since I've loved long hair all my life and it has been my dream and aim for a very long time now. :) Which, of course, doesn't mean I wouldn't call ''beautiful'' shorter hair.

[Cg]

As someone who has the least desired hair texture....

Not true! Not everyone desires the same texture, on this forum or anywhere else. Each hair type has positive characteristics.

Some posters have stated their opinions of the consensus here or IRL, but I often draw quite different conclusions. Much depends on which threads one reads and the people one knows. We ought not get too wrapped up in what others think anyway. It is one's own opinion that matters.

[Nymphe]

Not true! Not everyone desires the same texture, on this forum or anywhere else. Each hair type has positive characteristics.

Some posters have stated their opinions of the consensus here or IRL, but I often draw quite different conclusions. Much depends on which threads one reads and the people one knows. We ought not get too wrapped up in what others think anyway. It is one's own opinion that matters.
I don't mind negative opinions about my hair type; I will still do what I want. :) But you are right, we need to let negative stuff roll off us like water on the duck's back.

Oddly enough, it was Gossamer's pics in the photo thread that inspired me to post mine. I have heard the negativity super long-hairs get IRL.

[Ligeia Noire]

Ebony it is so rare to see kinky curls folks letting their hair grow past shoulders. It must be hard I assume. It is not very common. Your hair looks fabulous by the way. I love coily curls.

[Lisa-K]

I pay more attention to how healthy hair looks, rather than the length. Maybe because I don't have a particular length goal in mind for myself, so I'm unbiased. I've personally been doing regular trims to keep my ends looking thick and healthy. I recently cut 5cm off because I wasn't pleased about how the ends looked. So I wouldn't hesitate to chop off a good portion if it meant shinier, thicker, luscious hair. Obviously, my ideal scenario would be healthy AND long. But the latter isn't the most important to me.

[animetor7]

Nymph one really nice thing about hair as textured as yours, besides being gorgeous, is that it kind of creates its own protective updo just by the coils eating up length. And no potential for hair toy caused damage too!!!

[luxurioushair]

Ebony it is so rare to see kinky curls folks letting their hair grow past shoulders. It must be hard I assume. It is not very common. Your hair looks fabulous by the way. I love coily curls.
It's not very rare, but you have to remember that, for example, even when my hair is waist-length it will still look shoulder-length unless I stretch it. You really can't just tell how long an African girl's hair is by looking, unless you're very good at it maybe. Pay attention to the weight of it, I guess, if it looks shoulder-length but very dense and heavy then the hair is probably way longer than it looks :)

And from my own personal experience, growing African hair past shoulder is not hard. I've done it easily despite having really fine hair.

[Ligeia Noire]

Well, I haven't seen many but yes you are right, their length is hard to tell.

[Upside Down]

I am hobestly beginning to get the idea that many members idealise this community and because of that expect too much.

But think about it, people are people and people are still people online or on lhc. This forum is very well moderated but this doesn't mean that all the members are all the time thinking only about how others feel and how to make all the members feel good.

[Hairkay]

It's not very rare, but you have to remember that, for example, even when my hair is waist-length it will still look shoulder-length unless I stretch it. You really can't just tell how long an African girl's hair is by looking, unless you're very good at it maybe. Pay attention to the weight of it, I guess, if it looks shoulder-length but very dense and heavy then the hair is probably way longer than it looks :)

And from my own personal experience, growing African hair past shoulder is not hard. I've done it easily despite having really fine hair.

That's true. I've never had a problem getting my hair past shoulder length. It's all about shrinkage.

[Doom]

For me, hair that is healthy from roots to tips looks much better than longer, ruined hair. However, if two heads have equally healthy, luscious, silky hair... then yes, the longer the better. Long healthy hair looks better than short, healthy hair, and since it's more challenging to maintain, it's also a sign of commitment and willpower. Finally, let's face it: if we didn't appreciate long hair (and how to care for it) more than short hair, we wouldn't be on a forum called Long Hair Community ;)

[Flipgirl24]

For me, hair that is healthy from roots to tips looks much better than longer, ruined hair. However, if two heads have equally healthy, luscious, silky hair... then yes, the longer the better. Long healthy hair looks better than short, healthy hair, and since it's more challenging to maintain, it's also a sign of commitment and willpower. Finally, let's face it: if we didn't appreciate long hair (and how to care for it) more than short hair, we wouldn't be on a forum called Long Hair Community ;)

I must respectfully disagree. Healthy hair, whether short or long, is beautiful. Yes this is a long hair forum but does that mean short hair is not beautiful? No. It's all in how you wear it. Of course we all have our preferences, and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I think it would be difficult to come to a consensus.

[Kake]

I don't think hair must be long to be beautiful. I see beauty in many different lengths, hair types, colours etc. I also prefer to focus on the positive, as I think that listing qualities in the abstract that aren't beautiful is too negative and polarising.

[Entangled]

I must respectfully disagree. Healthy hair, whether short or long, is beautiful. Yes this is a long hair forum but does that mean short hair is not beautiful? No. It's all in how you wear it. Of course we all have our preferences, and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I think it would be difficult to come to a consensus.
However, it's easier to come to consensus in a group voluntarily formed around the same interests. In the wide world, I would say it's hard to come to a consensus, but I think it makes sense that generally, long hair is preferred here, other factors controlled for.

[DaveDecker]

For me, hair that is healthy from roots to tips looks much better than longer, ruined hair. However, if two heads have equally healthy, luscious, silky hair... then yes, the longer the better. Long healthy hair looks better than short, healthy hair, and since it's more challenging to maintain, it's also a sign of commitment and willpower. Finally, let's face it: if we didn't appreciate long hair (and how to care for it) more than short hair, we wouldn't be on a forum called Long Hair Community ;)


I must respectfully disagree. Healthy hair, whether short or long, is beautiful. Yes this is a long hair forum but does that mean short hair is not beautiful? No. It's all in how you wear it. Of course we all have our preferences, and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I think it would be difficult to come to a consensus.

It seems an inaccurate inference was made; Doom did not say that shorter (healthy) hair is not also beautiful.

[truepeacenik]

I'm in agreement with Dave.

I read that as all things being the same, Doom had a personal preference for length.
That doesn't mean a negation of shorter hair; and it shows a definite preference for health over length for the sake of length.

When the options are two, a preference isn't paired with a rejection. It isn't either/or. It's an -er.

[EbonyCurls]

Ebony it is so rare to see kinky curls folks letting their hair grow past shoulders. It must be hard I assume. It is not very common. Your hair looks fabulous by the way. I love coily curls.

Thank you Ligeia Noire! Luckily my hair is quite thin (blessing and a curse), so it doesn't take much to care for it. BTW you (or whoever is in your avi, if it's not you) have STUNNING hair! The color, texture, shape, and length is so romantic.

[Ligeia Noire]

Ebony your hair is beautiful, had to say it again and yes it's me and thank you so much.

[neko_kawaii]

One mistake I see being made in this discussion is the assumption that there is one standard of beauty that all can agree to. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is personal preference, it can be shaped by culture but cultural norms can also be rejected.

Why try to come to a consensus on what is more beautiful?

[littlestarface]

One mistake I see being made in this discussion is the assumption that there is one standard of beauty that all can agree to. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is personal preference, it can be shaped by culture but cultural norms can also be rejected.

Why try to come to a consensus on what is more beautiful?

Exactly! I don't see any need for anyone to say I disagree or Why for someone elses' statements.

[AZDesertRose]

I don't agree that longer is better, not by any stretch. I found on my own body that my once-classic-length hair was just too darn much trouble. My hair is thick (as in there's a lot of it) and fine (as in the individual strands are little) and it was just unmanageable and a pain in the neck and no fun anymore, so I cut for a few years. It was still healthy at classic, I had little to no taper and a bluntish U hemline and all the things that are generally considered desirable, but it had just become more pain than pleasure. I probably won't grow that long again. Right now, I'm a little shy of waist and might go to hip and probably will maintain in that general neighborhood, but who knows? I could change my mind.

That said, I've seen some heads of hair out in public that were so gorgeous that I was like "why doesn't that person grow long?" because their hair was so shiny and healthy and pretty (before I reminded myself that it was their hair and thus none of my business how they wear it!). My last post in the Long Hair Sighting Thread was from the other day when I saw a cashier at the supermarket who had lovely silver hair in a braid that was classic length (so I'm guessing that the hair loose was at least mid-thigh); it wasn't super thick, probably average thickness, and the braid tapered pretty seriously by the end, but it was still lovely. The color was like glossy silver-white satin thread gathered together.

And my daughter, whose hair is about the same length as mine, keeps getting a doom-and-gloom lecture from me about needing to trim hers, because she has damaged the daylights out of it with repeated bleaching and coloring. (She now has to keep it to colors that naturally occur in hair, as she's a nursing student doing clinicals, but until that started, it varied from week to week whether it might be hot pink or turquoise or silver-blue or you name it.) Hers is certainly long by the standards of the general public and even moderately long by LHC standards (waist-ish), but the ends are damaged and she really needs to trim off a few inches to have it really look pretty again. (But of course, she's 24 and doesn't listen to her mean old mom. :lol: )

And I've seen some people with pixie cuts and other short styles that were as cute as they can be.

A friend of mine from high school has recently started allowing her African textured hair to be its natural self rather than chemically relaxing it the way she did when we were in high school (and I assume for years afterward; we graduated in 1993 and lost touch for a while and then got back in contact by Internet magic :D ), and whenever she posts a pic to Facebook of her 'do, I always compliment her because her hair looks good. The styles she chooses are flattering to her face and hair texture, and the confidence it gives her shows in her smile. And no, she's not growing long, particularly. She's a divorced mother of three sons and her time is at a premium, so some of her hairstyle choices are probably influenced by how much time it takes to get the look together.

That doesn't mean that I don't have to pick my jaw up off the floor when gossamer or SwordWomanRiona or any of the other people with super-long hair (sorry, I have pneumonia plus a sinus/allergy flare plus an IBS flare from the antibiotic for the pneumonia so my brain is not at its best--any omission of other people is not meant as a slight; it's just that I'm ill and tired and can't brain too well at the moment) here on LHC post a pic of something really cool they've done with their really long hair, because these people have really pretty hair and the two I mentioned tend to frame their photos in interesting environments, sometimes even with cosplay, and that's cool and fun to see.

There are a lot of people here who have very pretty hair at various lengths. Hair does not have to be any given length or any given thickness or any given texture to be pretty. If it's healthy and well-cared-for, it's pretty. My :twocents: (overly long-winded as it probably is, LOL).

[lapushka]

One mistake I see being made in this discussion is the assumption that there is one standard of beauty that all can agree to. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is personal preference, it can be shaped by culture but cultural norms can also be rejected.

Why try to come to a consensus on what is more beautiful?

I don't think it is so much that what the discussion is about, but that other lengths (and thicknesses) can be beautiful too. It doesn't always have to be the ideal of long and thick hair we strive towards and thudpile on. That is my point in a nutshell.

[curlylocks85]

I've been caught up in that thinking for the last several years. The longer hair gets, the more likely someone is to get comments like awesome and :thudpile: . Even when I felt with every fiber of my being that I was ready for a shorter style, I resisted (until last week) because I wanted to be among the LHC "elite".

I have often had these thoughts. I have noticed that the longer the hair the more compliments people receive. It reminds me of school when the teacher praises the smarter children and overlooks the rest who are doing the best they can, but are not praised like the smarter kids. This is just my opinion based on years of observing this community. I like this community and I understand why people get the thud worthy comments. Luckily for me, I don't depend on others to praise me on my hair, I praise myself and it works great for me. Short medium or long, all hair is thud worthy in my opinion. :)

[lapushka]

I have often had these thoughts. I have noticed that the longer the hair the more compliments people receive. It reminds me of school when the teacher praises the smarter children and overlooks the rest who are doing the best they can, but are not praised like the smarter kids. This is just my opinion based on years of observing this community. I like this community and I understand why people get the thud worthy comments. Luckily for me, I don't depend on others to praise me on my hair, I praise myself and it works great for me. Short medium or long, all hair is thud worthy in my opinion. :)

Yes! Exactly what I feel is the vibe here as well! :)

[Shiranshoku]

Just popping in to say I can't believe this thread is still going, and that the negativity/hurt feelings of it is really rubbing off on me. I'm having a hard time enjoying myself on this site without this nagging thought in the back of my head.

This. So much.

I honestly don't get the comparison to a teacher only complimenting smart kids, either. The LHC isn't a hivemind, it's made up of individuals. And how is it sad that, generally speaking, what's considered long on here is significantly longer than what's considered long in the outside world?

Is it really so important to be considered thudworthy by anonymous people online? What happened to the 'I'm not here to decorate your world mentality'?

Again, this really reeks of the Facebook-mentality seeping in here... And that's sad, imho. To me, the LHC is a place for advice, inspiration, and sharing. I love the KNIT-guidelines.

But if you need the input of others to feel validated, that's on you, not the community. There's a gazillion of factors that can influence the response you get to a picture. A lack of compliments doesn't imply rejection nor a slight.

By all means be inclusive in giving compliments. But don't feel like you have to keep tabs of who you're complimenting to make sure you're not stepping on anyone's toes. And don't feel like you shouldn't post pictures of your hair because you're taking away attention from others. Don't feel like you shouldn't post pictures of your hair because nobody seems to notice.

Your hair is a treasure. Share because you want to, and because you can.

[Decoy24601]

This. So much.

I honestly don't get the comparison to a teacher only complimenting smart kids, either. The LHC isn't a hivemind, it's made up of individuals. And how is it sad that, generally speaking, what's considered long on here is significantly longer than what's considered long in the outside world?

Is it really so important to be considered thudworthy by anonymous people online? What happened to the 'I'm not here to decorate your world mentality'?

Again, this really reeks of the Facebook-mentality seeping in here... And that's sad, imho. To me, the LHC is a place for advice, inspiration, and sharing. I love the KNIT-guidelines.

But if you need the input of others to feel validated, that's on you, not the community. There's a gazillion of factors that can influence the response you get to a picture. A lack of compliments doesn't imply rejection nor a slight.

By all means be inclusive in giving compliments. But don't feel like you have to keep tabs of who you're complimenting to make sure you're not stepping on anyone's toes. And don't feel like you shouldn't post pictures of your hair because you're taking away attention from others. Don't feel like you shouldn't post pictures of your hair because nobody seems to notice.

Your hair is a treasure. Share because you want to, and because you can.

Finally, I don't think anyone could have said this better :D.

[ReadingRenee]

I know when I first started here I felt like only people with really long hair got respect and attention but as time went on, I started noticing plenty of short hair "gurus" who were well known and loved here. I also noticed when I came back with a major cut to shoulder length I got many lovely compliments in my blog when I posted my picture. Although there is a vibe here of the longer the better, I feel like there is a lot of support for shorter hair if that is what the person wants. I have always really appreciated that. :) I don't read a lot of the super long hair threads so maybe that is why I don't notice an imbalance in hair compliments when it comes to length.

[lapushka]

By all means be inclusive in giving compliments. But don't feel like you have to keep tabs of who you're complimenting to make sure you're not stepping on anyone's toes. And don't feel like you shouldn't post pictures of your hair because you're taking away attention from others. Don't feel like you shouldn't post pictures of your hair because nobody seems to notice.

Your hair is a treasure. Share because you want to, and because you can.

It's not about keeping tabs - at all! It's about seeing the beauty in everything, not just longER and thickER.

And when you are referring to a hive-mind. I find it a hive-mind mentality when people do flock to ONLY longER and thickER, and fail to see the beauty in the rest of it all. I think the reverse of this.

[lapushka]

I know when I first started here I felt like only people with really long hair got respect and attention but as time went on, I started noticing plenty of short hair "gurus" who were well known and loved here. I also noticed when I came back with a major cut to shoulder length I got many lovely compliments in my blog when I posted my picture. Although there is a vibe here of the longer the better, I feel like there is a lot of support for shorter hair if that is what the person wants. I have always really appreciated that. :) I don't read a lot of the super long hair threads so maybe that is why I don't notice an imbalance in hair compliments when it comes to length.

Well maybe it's time to read those threads. Plenty of inspiration, it does do that as well.

[Decoy24601]

It's not about keeping tabs - at all! It's about seeing the beauty in everything, not just longER and thickER.

And when you are referring to a hive-mind. I find it a hive-mind mentality when people do flock to ONLY longER and thickER, and fail to see the beauty in the rest of it all. I think the reverse of this.

I honestly don't get what you're talking about. I'd say most people on here don't comment on only longER and thickER hair. So what if there are comments like that? It's not our responsibility to patrol for people who might be caught up in unrealistic beauty standards specific to hair. That does not mean that anyone else on here is less valid.

People are entitled to have their own preferences. Wanting everyone to consider the same exact things beautiful, now *that* is what I call a hive-mind. Yes, everyone is beautiful, but that does not mean that people cannot find certain things more attractive or appealing. I've seen very few people on here shame people for cutting their hair short, in fact, most people who do have short hair or cut their hair get a lot of support.

Lapushka, I mean no disprespect, but I really think you're reading too much into this is all.

ETA: If this thread is really about support, then we should *not * be focusing on offering less praise or support to certain hair traits. We should be focusing on supporting *everyone*, no matter of hair type and thickness. People complain about how they just want this forum to be a place for support and information and you know what, this is only making the situation worse, not better.

[MidnightMoon]

Oh lord... here we go again. What's the point of this discussion, again?
I mean no disrespect either but it looks like someone is bored lol.

[Shiranshoku]

It's not about keeping tabs - at all! It's about seeing the beauty in everything, not just longER and thickER.

And when you are referring to a hive-mind. I find it a hive-mind mentality when people do flock to ONLY longER and thickER, and fail to see the beauty in the rest of it all. I think the reverse of this.

I know it's not like that for you. In both my runs here, he he, I have always appreciated how active, inclusive and plain old nice you are. Thanks for contributing so much to this forum.

I don't think that the fact that longer and thicker hair gets more attention means we're a hivemind. So we don't agree here, but that's okay.

[littlestarface]

Oh lord... here we go again. What's the point of this discussion, again?
I mean no disrespect either but it looks like someone is bored lol.

Lol looks that way.

[Shiranshoku]

Oh lord... here we go again. What's the point of this discussion, again?
I mean no disrespect either but it looks like someone is bored lol.


Lol looks that way.

In a thread that's basically about being nice to everyone, this is ironically not really that nice, don't you think?

I'm not bored, I was simply adding to an ongoing discussion.

[lapushka]

I know it's not like that for you. In both my runs here, he he, I have always appreciated how active, inclusive and plain old nice you are. Thanks for contributing so much to this forum.

I don't think that the fact that longer and thicker hair gets more attention means we're a hivemind. So we don't agree here, but that's okay.

Gotcha! :D We don't need to agree, as long as we respect each other. :thumbsup:

[MidnightMoon]

In a thread that's basically about being nice to everyone, this is ironically not really that nice, don't you think?

I'm not bored, I was simply adding to an ongoing discussion.

Nobody was talking about you.

[Shiranshoku]

Nobody was talking about you.

Sorry, I'm very egocentric, it's a character flaw. :D

But that it wasn't about me doesn't mean it was nice.

[animetor7]

I feel like this thread, while provoking useful discussions about how to be more inclusive on this forum which is already a very lovely place to be, has run it's course. Whenever I've looked back on it for the last few weeks it seems like another argument is brewing or someone's feelings have gotten hurt, whatever the intention of the original post. So, is there any way we can maybe keep it up, but lock it so that no more comments can be added? Stop the cycle as it were. Does anyone think this is a good idea? Or too drastic a measure?

[Sarahlabyrinth]

This thread is turning into one big heap of negativity.

[MidnightMoon]

Sorry, I'm very egocentric, it's a character flaw. :D

But that it wasn't about me doesn't mean it was nice.

Well, I just tend to dislike people who are rude and/or annoying and can only hold my tongue (or fingers) so far. My bad. Ill go do something better now. Is anyone else watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix? Gee what a #tbt and cute show to watch ^-^.

[Shiranshoku]

I feel like this thread, while provoking useful discussions about how to be more inclusive on this forum which is already a very lovely place to be, has run it's course. Whenever I've looked back on it for the last few weeks it seems like another argument is brewing or someone's feelings have gotten hurt, whatever the intention of the original post. So, is there any way we can maybe keep it up, but lock it so that no more comments can be added? Stop the cycle as it were. Does anyone think this is a good idea? Or too drastic a measure?

I think that's a good idea. I'm very sad that I, without meaning to, created a 'final straw' for some. I'm sorry for that. I meant no disrespect nor did I want to add to the negative spiral.

But my intent doesn't change the outcome, so I'm all for your suggestion!

[Chromis]

The moderators would like to remind all members, both old and new to avoid "moderating without a license". If you find content on this forum objectionable, please use the report button rather than calling out or chastising members on your own. The moderators will investigate and make appropriate actions...privately...in most cases there won't be a visible action, as moderator actions are private between the moderators and members.

Given the argumentative nature of the thread and people's inability to refrain from attempting to have the last word, we are closing this thread. Please do not continue to drag this into other threads.