Addicted to cutting and coloring

[tigress86]

I just realized I've been on LHC for almost two years and I'm still at shoulder length :( I want long hair soooo bad, but I'm in this vicious cycle of coloring an cutting my hair.

The coloring obsession went from drastic changes to wanting to grow out my natural color, but failing to do so. Whenever I see some roots coming in, I go on and color my hair. Not because the roots are ugly or unbearable, it's more like a reflex/obsession at this point.

And when my ends are not in good condition after all that coloring, I just have to cut them! I don't even have badly damaged hair at the moment, no splits or dots, just a little bit of dryness and occasional crunchy ends. Any reasonable person who wants long hair would not cut their hair over and over again because of some dryness, right?

Has anyone else had these issues? How do you stop coloring and cutting your hair?

[Nique1202]

The first thing I'd probably deal with is the colour. The colour is causing the damage that makes you feel the need to trim, right? So if you have a compulsion to dye your roots whenever you see them growing out, then you can colour your whole head as close to your natural colour as possible. Then you won't see the roots and you won't feel the need to colour them.

The trimming might work in your favour for a little bit, as you trim out the worst of the dye damage. As that disappears, hopefully you'll find better quality hair growing down to the ends and you'll feel more comfortable letting it grow longer before its next trim.

[Obsidian]

I had the same issue but I would go extreme with the cutting. Roughly once a year I would have all my bleached and damaged hair chopped of to around 1" just to promise myself no more dying or cutting.

The big thing for me in breaking the cycle was addressing the reasons I was cutting. In my case it was damage and seborrheic dermatitis that always got worse the longer my hair got. I really dislike my natural color, its gotten darker and muddy with age which in turn had me using box dyes every couple months. I had to find some way to deal with my color, for me that was henna.
I like red hair, always have and its so permanent that there is no way I can easily change the color. This helped break the constant "I'm trying a new hair color" this month. Now if I want different color, I have to use temporary fun colors and this is enough to break up the monotony of one hair color forever lol.

As far as the cutting goes, I still have the urge to cut sometimes but I wait as long as possible then I'll go for a trim. MY hairdresser knows I'm growing long so she only cuts a minimal amount. This has really helped, I still get that fresh trimmed feeling without loosing my growth.

Since you like your natural color, I agree with dying all your hair to match your roots. It should help break that automatic "roots need to be colored" mentality you have going on. If you really like being able to color it different, maybe leave a strip uncolored or even bleached, then you could use temporary dye on it.

For now on when you feel the need to cut dry ends, try to moisturize your hair instead. If the ends really are just dry, a good deep conditioning should really help. If the ends do truly need trimmed, find a barber who will listen to you and not remove too much hair.
Barbers often are less likely to try and style you they way they want. Stay away from trendy salons, all they want to do it fancy styles and makeovers, thinking they know best what will look good on you.

Other things I found that helped.

buying hair toys so I have incentive to grow.
telling myself I'm a long hair, its like a challenge to stop lying to myself.
treating my hair like its long. Only using widetooth combs,no heat, using a sleeping cap, silk pillow cases, etc..
Find pics of what your hair will look like long for inspiration.

[Shiranshoku]

Have you tried a paranda? That adds a dash of colour, protects your hair and makes it feel really long.

[lapushka]

The first thing I'd probably deal with is the colour. The colour is causing the damage that makes you feel the need to trim, right? So if you have a compulsion to dye your roots whenever you see them growing out, then you can colour your whole head as close to your natural colour as possible. Then you won't see the roots and you won't feel the need to colour them.

The trimming might work in your favour for a little bit, as you trim out the worst of the dye damage. As that disappears, hopefully you'll find better quality hair growing down to the ends and you'll feel more comfortable letting it grow longer before its next trim.

Yep, I agree. Instead of coloring it, try and dye it as close to your natural color as possible. Problem solved. Unless you really want that other color, in which case, it's hopeless.

[Flipgirl24]

I just realized I've been on LHC for almost two years and I'm still at shoulder length :( I want long hair soooo bad, but I'm in this vicious cycle of coloring an cutting my hair.

The coloring obsession went from drastic changes to wanting to grow out my natural color, but failing to do so. Whenever I see some roots coming in, I go on and color my hair. Not because the roots are ugly or unbearable, it's more like a reflex/obsession at this point.

And when my ends are not in good condition after all that coloring, I just have to cut them! I don't even have badly damaged hair at the moment, no splits or dots, just a little bit of dryness and occasional crunchy ends. Any reasonable person who wants long hair would not cut their hair over and over again because of some dryness, right?

Has anyone else had these issues? How do you stop coloring and cutting your hair?

You could try semi permanent colour as it doesn't have ammonia or henna. Then deep condition every week. I colour my hair with permanent colour, I haven't had a trim in 3.5 months and it's still healthy. Just make sure you aren't brushing too much and not when it is wet. Stay away from heat and hairspray or products that have alcohol. Eat a healthy diet rich in omega fatty acids, antioxidants, and biotin. And wear a hat or scarf when going out in the sun. There are products That are supposed to protect your colour. Joico has a spray that protects hair from the uv rays. Try to extend the time between colouring. Certain methods of highlighting and colours can make your roots less noticeable while it is growing. Or use those touch up products that many companies are coming out with. Aveda hair colour doesn't show roots as much as most brands do so look for a salon that does Aveda.

[ReadingRenee]

I know what you mean! My 11 year anniversary is coming up and I am still not to BSL, largely because I have cut several times. One big indicator that I am going to cut my hair is usually when I dye it. It's like I feel an urge to change my hair but don't want to change the length, so I dye it. Except then my hair feels rough and less healthy and so I eventually cut it. It's pretty much a cycle. This time Im not dying and Im just growing. Fingers crossed!

[yahirwaO.o]

Count me in the cutting addiction! :spitting: I so badly want longer than BSL and when im finally at it my hair looks tapered and not so good I go and remove an inch or so or cut it back at APL.
Now, I like my hair in this lenght because it looks so full, blunt and thick which is something great for my fine hair! however Id love to have at least MBL with full ends and it gets so hard to acomplish. I know the feeling of being perfecionist!

I think some suggestions above are good, you could try semi permanent or dye it close to your natural color. Maybe finding a heatless wave curl technique can help you and micro trimming every once in a while is so good, hair looks good without killing it and keep things interesting.

Its funny you and I joined this site in the same date and pretty much my own hair is still the same lenght!!! So yeah dont get discouraged! :D

Also a lot of members here have shorter lenght or keep it at some point because we've come to realize this is about enjoying hair, not about going super long and getting bored or fuzzing about it!

[tigress86]

So, I’ve dug up my old thread.

At first, I felt really bad after getting all of your answers, and perhaps, confused. I felt like noone really understood how I felt, especially about cutting. It wasn’t you guys, all of your replies were helpful and kind as always. It was me and my issues and questions that perhaps would have been more suitable for a mental health forum than a hair forum.

I looked up information about trichotemnomania, found a long, heart-breaking thread about it and I believe that the need to frequently cut my hair was as serious as this. Hair cutting was almost like some kind of coping mechanism for me. There were moments when I couldn’t choose whether to cut my hair or not, I just had to do it right away. It’s really hard to explain... but since I really, really want my long hair back, I’ve learned to deal with it (hopefully) and haven’t cut for almost 5 months.

There really is no solution other than fix the things in your life that make you stress out so bad you need to take it out on your hair, find peace and deal with the reason this cutting thing started in the first place. It might be a bad breakup, for example, that makes you do a big chop or bleach all of your hair and somehow your stupid brain makes the connection that things like this will instantly make you feel better, but only for the moment.

I still color, but I’ve managed to avoid drastic color changes. I use the lowest volume developer and I’m careful to only dye my roots and not overlap the color (also use coconut oil before coloring). I’ve found the damage to be minimal this way. Ends are dry and crunchy no more  Also, many temporary root sprays have come to the market recently, which have helped me dye my roots less often (every two months).

Sometimes I still get the urge to dye more often than necessary or start thinking about drastic changes. What really helps me during such moments is pretending to dye my hair – it might sound crazy, but I put a deep conditioner in a bowl, section my hair like I would when I’m dying it, apply the conditioner or mask with a dye brush and leave it on for some time. It is kind of like a soothing ritual.

Also, I have tried to direct my obsession away from hair and religiously grow and paint my nails now. Hands must be perfectly manicured at all times. Since my nails have always been strong and grow long easily, I find this new found obsession to be less stressful and it really helps me think less about my hair.

[Synester]

I feel you deeply on the coloring, not so much the cutting. i havent cut my hair in several years. But i am addicted to dying it. and This is the first time in 10 years im going "virgin" and growing my hair out and I literally start freaking out some days. I get super stressed out and just want a dye job and to have a new color. And I will spend HOURS on pinterest looking at a color i want sooo bad that i know im
1. not going to get because its too damaging like "white silver, a pastel"
2. i am a year and a half into growing my roots out and they are getting very grown out and i feel like all my progress will had been for nothing.

I get very stressed and want it so bad. and will start to try and tell myself "FORGET MY HAIR HEALTH IM YOUNG I SHOULD DO WHAT I WANT"
and torn between "im young i should take extra good care of what i have now for the long run" the constant battle is a daily thing I deal with. And people dont understand they tell me "just wear a wig" or "its just a hair color" and thats when i know i have to be addicted because i get angry that they think its SO unimportant or "a easy fix with a cheap wig" When that isnt the case. I need to smell the dye. Wake up with it. really enjoy it. and yet im stuck with my boring level 7 ash brown hair. i dont know how i will feel better. I colored for 10 years and just stopped cold turkey.