Does anyone else sometimes feel vain/bad about their hair?

[Cherrys]

I spend a fair amount of time with my hair (detangling, brushing with boar bristle, putting it up protectively) and money, too, on natural, healthy products and hair sticks and forks and pins and whatnot and sometimes I'll have these moments of really admiring it and then feel so incredibly vain. I don't feel vain about anything else (I.e. wow, workouts are paying off, I look nice in these pants doea not spark feelings like this), just my hair. Like I'm risking it all falling out one day by babying it so much.

Does anyone feel this way? Or have thoughts?

[irishsapphire]

I don't feel bad about my hair. But yeah, I do feel a bit of vanity towards my hair (and nails). But for me its a issue of control. I can't control migraines. I can't control my fatigue or appetite or weight or energy. I can't control about 98% of what my body does. What can I control? How my hair and nails present themselves. So I take care of them. I spend time and money and energy on my hair and my nails, a lot more than the rest of my family or friends. And they call me vain for it, but I just agree :D Just because I feel like crap doesn't mean I can't look my best with regards to my hair and nails.

But that's me :) Vain and proud of it.

[Arete]

It's okay to be proud of your hair! As long as you aren't rubbing it in people's faces or judging others constantly, admiring yourself is NOT being vain! Being vain means you have a skewed perspective and/or obsess over your appearance. If it is not getting in the way of your relationships/life, an intensive routine is just fine :)
We have driven into our heads all sorts of ideas all our lives, such that people, women especially, are never completely pleased with their appearance. And somehow this becomes skewed to reflect on being pleased with your appearance/healthily admiring oneself to be viewed as abnormal and as "vain."
I love my hair. It's pretty, and I am proud of it often (some days, of course, I hate it ;)).

Spending money on hair toys isn't vain either. Other people spend just as much (and often much more) on there toys of choice be it cars, makeup, models for a collection, etc. As long as you are spending wisely and the hair toy buying is not an uncontrollable addiction that is actually hurting your wallet, it's okay to spend money on hair stuff!

Lastly, hair is not a muscle. It won't atrophy if it gets "babied" or doesn't get "used." Your hair is dead stuff. Babying will just help preserve your length by minimizing breakage. Some people's hair can take a proverbial beating, others need to be treated like "antique lace" as one forum member put it (can't remember who... :hmm:). There is no ultimatum as to what is right or wrong for every hair type (save for a few general things like do your best to avoid mechanical damage and don't fry your hair with heat or chemicals constantly). Baby away! It won't fall out from lack of use :)

[LadyCelestina]

What matters = does taking care of your hair make life more pleasant for you? If yes, then carry on with it.

If not, maybe it's time to cut back a bit.

For me I don't really enjoy the hair upkeep and the money spent (even though I don't spend a lot), but the result is nice shiny soft tangle free hair which is worth it.

ETA: What 'natural and healthy' products are you using? I do feel a bit guilty when I use a pricier conditioner, but that's because the cheaper ones do just as well for me and I know that the work horse ingredients are typically the same and the rest is just a gimmick. This might not be the case for you though.

[Flipgirl24]

Yes for sure. My job doesn't pay much yet I still buy expensive products. (At Winners) But I don't spend a lot of time on my hair. I don't style it other than the bangs or if I'm going out somewhere nice (very rare). I spend a lot on makeup too so that adds to my vanity.

Part of it is due to my upbringing. My mom always curled or permed (with disastrous results) my hair and bugged me to wear makeup in grade 7. However, she didn't teach me how to do my hair or makeup. If she wasn't commenting on my hair it would be the pimples on my face or my facial hair or my weight or the way I walk. So I always felt something was wrong with me. Mind you, my mother never took care of her skin and hair and cannot apply makeup properly. Even though i used to do people's makeup for weddings and fashion shows for a living, she still didnt believe i could do it right. And she always believes that she looks better than anyone let alone me. So i was stuck between not lIking anything about myself and her hypocrisy. Even now, I am resentful that she never took me to a dermatologist to help with my acne or took me to a salon to get my hair done properly - you'd think since she was so obsessed with making me look better, she would have. I could have had better skin and hair! So taking care of my hair and skin is rooted in my insecurity for sure but I am learning to appreciate the process. My skin is no where near perfect but I have good habits in that I moisturize, wash every night regardless of how tired I am and use sunscreen daily. My friends think I'm crazy but I don't think I'm over the top-though if I could afford it, I would definitely go for botox to get rid of my football cheeks and regular facials. Most of my friends don't wash their face or take care of their hair but then again, they seem to have more money than me! (They don't have a mortgage to pay though and have spouses with incomes).

There is nothing wrong with taking care of your hair, skin and body. I do believe, however, that you have to take care of your mind, your heart, and your soul as well. I suppose if your hair consumes every aspect of your being, then maybe it would be a bit obsessive. If you were walking around saying your hair is better than everyone else's or all you did was admire your hair, then you are probably vain. But from reading several threads, I don't think any of you are like that. I think it depends on how you show that pride in your hair and your attitude. I love makeup because of what effects I can create and it does make me look more alive. But I don't think others should use it or that I look better than them.

[Kajzh]

I don't feel bad valuing my hair greatly, because black women loving their natural hair has long been a subversive, political act in my country. I happily join that movement.

[XiaoBaiTu]

As I once read in a book (The Story Girl, by Lucy Maud Montgomery, if you're interested):

"It isn't vanity to know your good points. It'd be stupidity not to know them. It's only vanity if you get puffed up about it."

[calmyogi]

when I'm admiring my hair, occasionally I will feel vain about it. But, I don't think it's a bad things to know what your good attributes are. I think it's more about if your sitting there saying "my hair is better than hers, hers, and hers".

[Upside Down]

It's okay to be proud of your hair! As long as you aren't rubbing it in people's faces or judging others constantly, admiring yourself is NOT being vain! Being vain means you have a skewed perspective and/or obsess over your appearance. If it is not getting in the way of your relationships/life, an intensive routine is just fine :)
We have driven into our heads all sorts of ideas all our lives, such that people, women especially, are never completely pleased with their appearance. And somehow this becomes skewed to reflect on being pleased with your appearance/healthily admiring oneself to be viewed as abnormal and as "vain."
I love my hair. It's pretty, and I am proud of it often (some days, of course, I hate it ;)).

Spending money on hair toys isn't vain either. Other people spend just as much (and often much more) on there toys of choice be it cars, makeup, models for a collection, etc. As long as you are spending wisely and the hair toy buying is not an uncontrollable addiction that is actually hurting your wallet, it's okay to spend money on hair stuff!

Lastly, hair is not a muscle. It won't atrophy if it gets "babied" or doesn't get "used." Your hair is dead stuff. Babying will just help preserve your length by minimizing breakage. Some people's hair can take a proverbial beating, others need to be treated like "antique lace" as one forum member put it (can't remember who... :hmm:). There is no ultimatum as to what is right or wrong for every hair type (save for a few general things like do your best to avoid mechanical damage and don't fry your hair with heat or chemicals constantly). Baby away! It won't fall out from lack of use :)

Well put!
(Characters)

[Mrstran]

I don't at all really. Mine is still very short and broken lol. Perhaps if it were long and beautiful like the hair I see on here, then maybe I'd be a bit guilty of that. As of now, I see my hair care as a hobby I am very much dedicated to. I cannot wait for the day mine it beautiful too!

[Shiranshoku]

I'm pretty vain about my hair, I guess. I think it's my prettiest feature and I love taking care of it. I also love getting compliments about it. :-)

I used to be the girl with the bad teeth and glasses growing up. At work, I'm the girl with the long, beautiful hair and I really, really, really love being referred to in that way. Especially since I still have said bad teeth and glasses :D

But I don't feel bad about it, or see anything wrong with feeling that way.

[littlestarface]

No, no part on me or my hair is nothing to be vain about, I take care of my hair cuz I don't want tangles and matts. I also don't want my hair looking ratty dry and gross like I don't care about my hair. I like having soft skin and hair, I never show those off and when I do post pics here of it I really do it to see my progress for myself not compliments, cuz I know my hair is not all that anyway.

[Shiranshoku]

No, no part on me or my hair is nothing to be vain about, I take care of my hair cuz I don't want tangles and matts. I also don't want my hair looking ratty dry and gross like I don't care about my hair. I like having soft skin and hair, I never show those off and when I do post pics here of it I really do it to see my progress for myself not compliments, cuz I know my hair is not all that anyway.

I have to disagree, your hair is definitely all that! It's beautiful :-)

[vampyyri]

Nah, it's about the only thing I like about myself currently... I have to have something. :shrug:

[CindyOfTheOaks]

1 Corinthians 11:15

But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.


:)

[Decoy24601]

I don't really feel bad or vain about my hair or anything I do with it.

[littlestarface]

I have to disagree, your hair is definitely all that! It's beautiful :-)

O_O Thanks! It is very much appreciated:blossom:

[melesine]

Not if we're using the definition of holding an excessively high opinion as vanity. I like my hair a lot, but I wouldn't say I have an excessively high opinion of it.

This kind of reminds of how some people think posting selfies is vain. I don't think posting pictures of yourself means that you have an excessively high opinion of yourself either.

[calmyogi]

No, no part on me or my hair is nothing to be vain about, I take care of my hair cuz I don't want tangles and matts. I also don't want my hair looking ratty dry and gross like I don't care about my hair. I like having soft skin and hair, I never show those off and when I do post pics here of it I really do it to see my progress for myself not compliments, cuz I know my hair is not all that anyway.

I think your hair looks beautiful!

[Entangled]

No, no part on me or my hair is nothing to be vain about, I take care of my hair cuz I don't want tangles and matts. I also don't want my hair looking ratty dry and gross like I don't care about my hair. I like having soft skin and hair, I never show those off and when I do post pics here of it I really do it to see my progress for myself not compliments, cuz I know my hair is not all that anyway.

I really appreciate your attitude. I don't have my dream hair, and I can't make it change texture or grow out a different color. However, taking care of it is a better alternative to having unkempt, unhealthy hair. I can take care of it as I would take care of the rest of me, even if it's not what I swoon over.

[Cherrys]

I use Acure Organics, usually the volumizing one which is mint and echinacea stem cells. It's about $10 per bottle. :)

[Cherrys]

Also, thank you, everyone, for your supportive messages, I feel like everyone understood what I meant and I feel better. You ladies rock

[Greenfire]

Vain? Not yet. Hoping to feel near that way one day, if I take really good care of it, and get it where I want. Right now, it's just part of me, and I don't think it's all that special. I take care of it cause I want to grow it longer and stronger. But excessively proud of it? Nope, not yet, no where near yet. Probably never have hair so fantabulous that I'll be excessively proud (vain) about it. That's unicorn hair...

[RavenRose]

I am not vain about it- I do take the time and energy to care for it and I enjoy it much more more than I did in the past now that I know what it needs, but my hair care/habits are not my first priority in my life. I do not brag about my hair, nor put preening before care of my family and household. I do however use it quite often as a stress relief while dealing with the out of work, foster/protective placement situation with my goddaughter, and my plethora of health issues.

[hayheadsbird]

The more time I've spent here the more I've come to appreciate my hair. I don't think I'm vain about it, it's no better than anyone else's, and there are many many members here who's hair is stunning, so it's a good reality check.
Right now, I'm enjoying the colour and condition, and learning new ways to keep it up. But I don't feel bad about it. It's fun learning to look after and get the best out of it.

[CindyOfTheOaks]

The more time I've spent here the more I've come to appreciate my hair. I don't think I'm vain about it, it's no better than anyone else's, and there are many many members here who's hair is stunning, so it's a good reality check.
Right now, I'm enjoying the colour and condition, and learning new ways to keep it up. But I don't feel bad about it. It's fun learning to look after and get the best out of it.


...and there ya go ! Both feet on the ground :)

[Kat-Rinnè Naido]

Vain definitely not - I am so BLESSED to have joined the LHC. My hair is now in a better condition than a very long time that I can remember. I enjoy doing the things to keep my hair healthy, happy, strong and long. I have not yet achieved the long. Pamper my hair and scalp is a good way to relax. The bonus of that is I am rewarded with great hair - my expectations

[Hairkay]

No, it's all part of basic self care.