Older Women & Short Hair?

[M.McDonough]

Hello everyone,

I've noticed most older women have short hair, why is that?

[BookishRay]

I think part of the reason is societal pressure/expectation. I have read many places that long hair after a certain point "ages you". That particular argument has never made sense to me. I notice that it is mostly in "western civilization" where this trend is the most prevalent, but not being widely traveled, I could definitely be wrong. My personal opinion is this is the main reason. My mother (who is almost 70) has had long hair (BSL or more usually waist length) most of her life. She has asked me many times if I thought she was too old for long hair. I happen to love her long hair. It is healthy and well cared for and I see no reason for her to cut it, especially considering she never cared much for short hair the few times she did cut it.

There are always other factors of course. Hair tends to thin and become more brittle and less manageable in some ladies of a certain age. Possibly they just don't want to deal with long hair anymore. My maternal grandmother always had short hair because it was very fine and thin and just wouldn't grow long.

[CindyOfTheOaks]

Thank goodness things are changing !
It used to be said that if you were 40+ that your hair should be no longer than your shoulders - and no bangs !
Seriously ? I have a forehead that you could use as a billboard ! I must have my bangs !

[animetor7]

I think it depends on what you mean by old. For example my 86 year old grandmother keeps her hair very short because she has arthritis in her fingers and she can't take care of long hair and doesn't want to ask anyone to help her care for it. My mother cut her hair after giving birth to me because she's never been great at buns and such and didn't want long hair to deal with while raising young children (not that this is impossible, but if you don't know how to braid or bun well it becomes much more difficult). So sometimes it's a choice of practicality.

I do think that there are also societal pressures for middle aged+ women to cut their hair. But thankfully this seems to be changing. I've been seeing more and more older ladies with BSL+ hair. Hopefully soon this pressure won't exist and older women can grow or cut their hair as they please without facing pressures. :)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I think that when today's "old" ladies were young, the very up to date fashion in hair was short, and they have mostly always kept their hair that way ever since, out of habit. I actually think that things are changing as it is more common to see some women, at least, having longer than shoulder length hair into their 40s and sometimes 50s. Not many, but some, and more than there used to be.

[spidermom]

I'm an older woman, and I like to have my hair long. I've seen plenty of older women with long hair in my area (Pacific NW). To each his or her own.

[melesine]

Some people really buy into the age appropriate rules that others try to force on them. These are the same people that think that manic panic colors are only appropriate for teenagers and that women over 35 shouldn't wear black eyeliner or colored eyeshadow. I've heard people make the "long hair ages you" argument or that women over 35 with long hair are " trying to hold onto their youth".

[spidermom]

I think for a lot of people, short hair is easier because of arthritis or weakness.

I tell myself that keeping my hair long(ish) helps to keep my arms strong and motor skills agile.

[Tosca]

My 89yo grandmother has short hair, I think so she doesn't have to bun it or tie it up, as she is very frail. It just requires brushing. My aunt and I were discussing hair, and she said that she has short hair now simply because she has always had short hair (she was born in ~1951). My now deceased Oma kept her hair short, and she would curl it with rollers, in the typical 'old lady perm', to make it look thicker. By short I mean 2-3 inches long.

[Flipgirl24]

To each her own. However, I have a friend who is 31 and she has super long hair....Probably classic or maybe to her knees. She does look older than she is but I don't know if it is because of her hair or her whole look and personality. She wears it in a bun 24/7 a tight one. But sometimes she will wear it in a long braid. Mind you, she doesn't care for her hair like you all do and it is very thin and split. So maybe because it is unhealthy she looks older? Not saying long hair does age you but in this case it does. I cut my hair to just below my shoulders earlier this year and my friend said I looked younger. So I don't know. But who cares? You do you.

Once you get older, in the 70s and 80s, your skin gets very thin and fragile so that could be part of the reason for shorter hair. I would think hair would be more fragile then too.

[M.McDonough]

Some people really buy into the age appropriate rules that others try to force on them. These are the same people that think that manic panic colors are only appropriate for teenagers and that women over 35 shouldn't wear black eyeliner or colored eyeshadow. I've heard people make the "long hair ages you" argument or that women over 35 with long hair are " trying to hold onto their youth".

:pins: These rules get on my nerves, who came up with them? Each and everyone is entitled to their own opinion, taste and choice. Age is just a number anyway and that's why some people look older than they are and some look younger than they are.

[Obsidian]

My 70 yr old mother has WLH and has for years, I don't see her cutting it unless she gets to the point some day where she can't care for it by herself. It doesn't make her look old, not even a little bit.

[calmyogi]

I think it's mainly social.

I also think the trend comes out of the 20's when women liberated themselves and cut their hair short to break out of the old eras. Most 80 year old ladies today have never had long hair in their life. They are born in the twenties and the short style stuck around until the 60's. Quite a few of my really old ladies I have taken care of have told me they never had long hair because it just wasn't the style. my grandmother was born in 1909, she died while I was still pretty young so I never asked her about her hair, but in every picture I have seen of her, from a child to old age, she has short hair.

So all in all I think a lot of women did it to make a political point which quickly turned into a style that stuck around for a few generations. It might be more that "long" hair is associated with old ways of thinking, old grandmothers (because the ladies of the 20's grandmothers would of been Victorians). I think it's a social thing that it ages you that's coming from a few different trains of thought.

Now days I understand why some older ladies cut their hair because of thinning and such. It's probably more because they can and its acceptable.

[Stepo_NiNha]

Western society pressure.
Older Indian women don't cut their hair when they age, for example, that's a "rule" that doesn't exist to them.

[lapushka]

IDK. I don't necessarily see many people, but yes, a lot of people with shorter do's and they get shorter the older people get. I have no clue why that is. Time. Patience. Kids. Household to run. Fairly little time to devote to hair care. Possibility. :shrug:

[OhSuzi]

I did work experience in a hairdressers in the UK when I was a teenager and Wednesday was Old Age Pensioner Discount day and a lot of older ladies would come in for a purple rinse and set.
Just some observations about this - I assume the perm was a throw back to the 50s style, plus it helps fluff up very thinning hair and give it more volume and coverage.
But because such a large majority of older ladies had this style, it then became synonymous with older ladies - so you'd think having longer more natural hair would be the opposite of aging because it is associated with youth. Also a bit nuts that you would chose a chemical perm and dye that would be damaging to your hair when it's might already be losing its condition.
There's a UK a sitcom with a mature lady, (Google - Mrs Slocombe - to see what I'm on about), in it who's hair was always permed and set with crazy coloured rinses her hair was supposed to part of the commedy. I loved all the colours she had though, but not so keen on her perm.


Weird that it's now trendy for young people to have silver grey / lavender hair, and dying your hair crazy colours is not for the elderly.

I guess shorter hair cuts generally might be considered more youthful and flattering, because you can have very edgy sharp styles that are the height of fashion and are easier to maintain.
Perhaps as I've discovered from here longer hair can be a bit of a ballache of constant care and maintenance, so if you're not able to look after it well, young or old bad condition hair is going to be less flattering.

But I like long & short and I guess all that matters is the person who's hair it is enjoys their style!

http://www.neilmoodie.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/mrs-slocombe.jpg

[sarahthegemini]

Might be easier to manage?

[x3leesa]

Western society pressure.
Older Indian women don't cut their hair when they age, for example, that's a "rule" that doesn't exist to them.

I agree with that. My mother (60) has always said older women with long hair look "weird." I think an entire generation of women who are 40+ all having short hair because of some rule of thumb is weird lol <_<

[littlestarface]

I did work experience in a hairdressers in the UK when I was a teenager and Wednesday was Old Age Pensioner Discount day and a lot of older ladies would come in for a purple rinse and set.
Just some observations about this - I assume the perm was a throw back to the 50s style, plus it helps fluff up very thinning hair and give it more volume and coverage.
But because such a large majority of older ladies had this style, it then became synonymous with older ladies - so you'd think having longer more natural hair would be the opposite of aging because it is associated with youth. Also a bit nuts that you would chose a chemical perm and dye that would be damaging to your hair when it's might already be losing its condition.

What's a purple rinse?

[vampyyri]

What's a purple rinse?

A purple shampoo most likely to tone out the brassiness that the white can take on

[BookishRay]

There's a UK a sitcom with a mature lady, (Google - Mrs Slocombe - to see what I'm on about), in it who's hair was always permed and set with crazy coloured rinses her hair was supposed to part of the commedy. I loved all the colours she had though, but not so keen on her perm.

http://www.neilmoodie.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/mrs-slocombe.jpg

I absolutely LOVED this show growing up!!!!! I wish I could find a place to watch it now!

[Silverbleed]

Based on what I have heard and experienced and where I live, I have seen multiple reasons. One that lives strongly is that shorter hair keeps you looking young and energized. I hear this at all ages but I have noticed many women around me that cut it for that reason. I also get told it looks like I am much more enthousiastic with short hair.

Another reason I can fully understand is both hair loss due to age and easier to maintain. I remember my grandmother wanted it to look neat but had to cut it short or else it would look too obviously thin and she felt emberrassed.

And I think it also depends on what they grew up with. I am totally a 90's kid myself and I don't think that'll ever change lol.

I decided I want to have long hair when I am older myself, and I hope I am able to do it c: But that's simply because I find shorter hair way too difficult to look good with my hair type. It's much more time consuming which surprises me.

[Crystawni]

For some older people--men and women--a weekly outing to the hairdressers or barber for some pampering and chitchat can be a social stop-gap in their world of dwindling friends and absent or far-flung family. Which means their well-maintained hair has little to no chance of getting some length on. And those with active social lives tend to be influenced by their friends who may dabble in cropping and colour that gives them the lift that makeup/clothes/body, etc., may've given them in the past. Hair is one thing we can change/style/control(ish) when all else goes south. Maybe some shorter dos in older age are the result of this kind of thinking. :shrug:

I also believe many of us have our heyday style we rebound to as we nestle into our older comfort zone. The devil you know, you know? So for me as a child of the 70s long, flowing hair and teen of the 80s spiral perms, my comfort zone is long with a side order of zing (hold the sky-high frizzfest and helmet head hairsprays, ta). :p

[Stub]

My mom waited until she was in her late 40's, early 50's to grow her hair out, which she had wanted to do all her life but I think she felt her job (postmaster of a small town post office) would not allow that as 'professional' enough. But she finally did it and I have a photo of her from behind with a grey braid nearly to her hips and it is one of my favorite photos of her! When she was 54 she got colon cancer and she cut her hair off before the chemo made it fall out, and it never really had a chance to grow again because the cancer killed her in just 2.5 years. But she LOVED her long hair!

[browneyedsusan]

Lots of reasons! I pixied when I had children because i didn't want to mess with my hair. It was all I could do to raise the kids, and I didn't want to detangle, style, whatever my hair. (That was before I knew about TLHC, and how easy long hair could be.)

I also think people generally want to "fit in", and lots of people follow trends in hairstyles or clothing. They just want to be accepted by other women. :)

Some women just tend to wear what they wore when they were young. Women in their 70's and 80's typically emulate Doris Day or Jayne Mansfield. Women my age go for "soccer mom" hair because SL or CBL hair was really popular in the 80's. (Even though we've ditched the crazy perms.)

[M.McDonough]

My mom waited until she was in her late 40's, early 50's to grow her hair out, which she had wanted to do all her life but I think she felt her job (postmaster of a small town post office) would not allow that as 'professional' enough. But she finally did it and I have a photo of her from behind with a grey braid nearly to her hips and it is one of my favorite photos of her! When she was 54 she got colon cancer and she cut her hair off before the chemo made it fall out, and it never really had a chance to grow again because the cancer killed her in just 2.5 years. But she LOVED her long hair!

I'm so sorry to hear that

[coco mane]

I'm in my 40's and I do love growing my hair. At the office, colleagues are pretty interested in my up-do's. although I'm only at BSL now.
my mother used to have WL red hair until her 40's, she cut it all off very short but was never quite happy with it again.

[restless]

Yeah I never understood this. The argument goes:

Long hair= youre obviously trying to hold onto your youth. HOWEVER long hair apparently ages you. So... thats rather counterproductive, aint it?

And then we have short hair:
Short hair= a more mature hairstyle that fits a grown up woman. Youre no young girl anymore, after all. HOWEVER short hair also makes you look younger and more youthful...

I dont think you can win this never ending hair battle, no matter what you do. :shrug:

:rolleyes:

[Hairkay]

Those rules don't really travel far. I was not familiar with that in the Caribbean community. My mother has thick kinky hair. She only cut her hair short last year because she'd had it in locs for 7 years and it had grown too heavy and too long for her. She'd maintained that by twice yearly salon visits. She wants low maintenance hair due to having arthritis.

[JaneHathaway]

Maybe it's just in my area, but it's interesting to me that longer hair on an older woman seems to be interpreted as almost a personal affront to women of similar age who've made a different choice. On that rare occasion when a mature long-haired woman appears in the vicinity of mature short-haired women, raised eyebrows and clucking are sure to follow. Why don't they just grab a bullhorn and yell "Get back in line! Who do ​you think you are?"

I'm not only trying to grow my hair long but also growing out my natural gray after years of dying, so I'll be doubly blackballed, I guess.

But seriously, why does it bother them so?

[Crystawni]

Freedom can be confronting, I guess. Freedom to choose, instead of conforming to expectations.

As an aside, I've lived in many areas and climates around Australia, and have found the warmer the climate, the longer and less-manipulated the hair is at all ages. Actually, long, greying hair is "the norm" where I am now, with an almost hippie vibe embracing who you are, not who you're meant to be. As a greying longhair myself, it's so relaxing and liberating.

[melesine]

I think you're right that not conforming to the local societal expectation is confronting and that a lot of the pressure is to try and get people back in line. I know what they can do with that.

[OhSuzi]

I don't know if it was shampoo or dye it was called a 'rinse and set' and the majority of elderly ladies had this short permed style with either a hint of pink or lavender in their hair.
Mrs Slocombe (see previous post) was a very exaggerated version of it, attached is more typical. it was very common when I was younger, but you don't see it so much any more.
I think thanks to Jane Fonda, Helen Mirran, Judy Dench etc. trendier hair cuts are more acceptable but still not so much long hair styles.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OIhw0ENSXO4/Ucb2FIuKWuI/AAAAAAAACpo/juJZ9WXa0hw/s200/phyllis+blue+rinse.jpg

[CrazyWaves]

:chillpill:My grandmother who just recently passed away at the age of 85, had APL hair that was in very good condition. As far as I can tell up until maybe the last 10 years she had always worn her hair in the typical 'grandma' cut, dyed auburn, and permed to high heaven. About 5 years ago she gave up the perms and color and started letting it grow. She always got excited when she could do something new with it as it got longer. Be it geting it in a simple ponytail or when she could finally French braid it, which she liked to do a lot. She had pretty thick hair compared to most women of her age, so I think longer hair suited her well.

So as far as age and hair length is concerned, I say do what makes you feel good, and screw what others think.

[AZDesertRose]

I am myself 40, and I have no intention of cutting my hair shorter than shoulder length ever again in my life, and maybe not that short. My face just doesn't look that great with short hair. (I have a very round face with prominent cheekbones and generally fairly strong features, and short hair on me just looks--wrong.) I've also worn my hair fairly long most of my life since I was old enough to care for my own hair.

My mother is past 60, and she doesn't like hers much past chin length. She finds hers hard to manage if it gets even shoulder length. She also fusses with hers much more than I do with mine, way more product, plus heat-styling and stuff. Honestly, I'd have to do all that too if I kept my hair that short, which is why I don't. :lol: (We have about the same texture [a.k.a. just enough wave to be unruly :rolleyes: ] and color.)

When I told my mom a couple of years ago that I was growing my hair back out (after a couple of years around shoulder length), and I said I was going for at least waist, she was surprised, but she didn't really care. It's not like she has any say-so about my hair anymore, and it was never a hill she chose to die on anyway. (Once I was about twelve and thus old enough to brush/comb/generally deal with my hair myself, she let me do more or less what I wanted with it, since it wasn't her problem anymore.)

My late grandmothers both kept theirs short, but they were both born around the end of World War I, so they'd have been in one of several generations of women who probably regarded short hair as liberating from the mandatory long styles of previous generations.

It's probably a social pressure/expectations thing, but anyone who doesn't like my hair can buzz off. It's not their hair so it's not their decision.

[littlestarface]

I don't know if it was shampoo or dye it was called a 'rinse and set' and the majority of elderly ladies had this short permed style with either a hint of pink or lavender in their hair.
Mrs Slocombe (see previous post) was a very exaggerated version of it, attached is more typical. it was very common when I was younger, but you don't see it so much any more.
I think thanks to Jane Fonda, Helen Mirran, Judy Dench etc. trendier hair cuts are more acceptable but still not so much long hair styles.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OIhw0ENSXO4/Ucb2FIuKWuI/AAAAAAAACpo/juJZ9WXa0hw/s200/phyllis+blue+rinse.jpg

Thanks, Interesting how older ladies liked to have purple or pink hair I guess they were the first instead of punky teens lol

[calmyogi]

I have heard the term "blue hair" used when people would talk about old ladies. There is this stuff you can buy in the laundry isle that I believe ladies use to use on their gray hair. It's blue and its meant for washing your whites for the same reason, to get rid of brassy or dingy coloring.

[Dolly]

I just turned 49 in August, and have literally had people say......"Well, now you will have to cut your hair." SERIOUSLY? WHO SAYS SO? IS THERE A LAW OR SOMETHING?

In my family, all of the older ladies have short hair. But, I care NOT what anyone thinks. I will wear my hair as I darn please (long and with BANGS too). If they don't like it, they can kiss my big hiney! I will also henna it as long as I wish to not look at my silvers (I am about 40% gray now, in my estimation, if I were to let them go). The color of my hair is nobody's concern, either. I am not here to decorate their world!!

[HairPlease]

Just my two cents: I'm so used to older women having short hair that I automatically see short hair as aging.

[akuamoonmaui]

My take on it is it is largely regional and generational.

I live on Maui and long hair is very normal for all ages and genders. I'm in a professional position and just bun it - but that's personal preference because it can be distracting to others, gets into everything, and I get neck dreads like nobody's business. We have at least three little boys at the school who have have hair past their shoulder blades - there is no school code violation. There is pretty much a long hair in every walk of life here and "it's all good".

My parents live part time here and part time in the midwest. My mother is very much the "over 40 = short hair" type and looks more a part of being in the midwest, than here. Our family has lived in the islands for 23+ years...

I guess it's just how you identify yourself.

[JaneHathaway]

Freedom can be confronting, I guess. Freedom to choose, instead of conforming to expectations.

As an aside, I've lived in many areas and climates around Australia, and have found the warmer the climate, the longer and less-manipulated the hair is at all ages. Actually, long, greying hair is "the norm" where I am now, with an almost hippie vibe embracing who you are, not who you're meant to be. As a greying longhair myself, it's so relaxing and liberating.


I think you're right that not conforming to the local societal expectation is confronting and that a lot of the pressure is to try and get people back in line. I know what they can do with that.


My take on it is it is largely regional and generational.

I live on Maui and long hair is very normal for all ages and genders. I'm in a professional position and just bun it - but that's personal preference because it can be distracting to others, gets into everything, and I get neck dreads like nobody's business. We have at least three little boys at the school who have have hair past their shoulder blades - there is no school code violation. There is pretty much a long hair in every walk of life here and "it's all good".

My parents live part time here and part time in the midwest. My mother is very much the "over 40 = short hair" type and looks more a part of being in the midwest, than here. Our family has lived in the islands for 23+ years...

I guess it's just how you identify yourself.

All excellent points as to how going against the norm can be received. As to regional differences, I agree that's a factor, too. I'm in an ultra-conservative rural area (I escaped for 20+ years; now that I'm back I keep having "oh yeah, that's why I left" experiences) in the southern US. The hair norm here is just as you describe with your midwestern mother, akuamoonmaui.

[M.McDonough]

I just turned 49 in August, and have literally had people say......"Well, now you will have to cut your hair." SERIOUSLY? WHO SAYS SO? IS THERE A LAW OR SOMETHING?

In my family, all of the older ladies have short hair. But, I care NOT what anyone thinks. I will wear my hair as I darn please (long and with BANGS too). If they don't like it, they can kiss my big hiney! I will also henna it as long as I wish to not look at my silvers (I am about 40% gray now, in my estimation, if I were to let them go). The color of my hair is nobody's concern, either. I am not here to decorate their world!!

I like the way you think :D

[Flipgirl24]

I just turned 49 in August, and have literally had people say......"Well, now you will have to cut your hair." SERIOUSLY? WHO SAYS SO? IS THERE A LAW OR SOMETHING?

In my family, all of the older ladies have short hair. But, I care NOT what anyone thinks. I will wear my hair as I darn please (long and with BANGS too). If they don't like it, they can kiss my big hiney! I will also henna it as long as I wish to not look at my silvers (I am about 40% gray now, in my estimation, if I were to let them go). The color of my hair is nobody's concern, either. I am not here to decorate their world!!

Good! People should just stay outta your hair!

So are bangs looked down upon too? I have bangs.

[lapushka]

So are bangs looked down upon too? I have bangs.

Maybe it's looked at as being "childish"? IDK. Just guessing. I had bangs all throughout 6th grade, middle school, high school. With my moments on and off. It was a trend back then in the late 80s & 90s too. First the big bulky ones that you backcombed to hell and beyond, then the all slicked back and stacked up high look. I'm glad I got rid of them, because bangs and oily hair: a chore!

[Dolly]

Good! People should just stay outta your hair!

So are bangs looked down upon too? I have bangs.

Someone earlier in the thread mentioned it. I went through a period about 10 years ago where I was determined to have all one length hair and no bangs, but I have a forehead from hell, and I personally didn't like the way it looked, so I cut in some bangs. When I don't have bangs and pull my hair back for a bun, I look like a big peeled onion.

[JaneHathaway]

Good! People should just stay outta your hair!

So are bangs looked down upon too? I have bangs.

I've read articles advising against bangs on older women, but I don't know the reasoning behind this. I'd be interested in the explanation. Personally, I feel naked and exposed without bangs. I've grown them out several times in the past but I always go back to them.

[AZDesertRose]

I don't even know, re: bangs and age. I've always heard that it's a face-shape thing, whether bangs/fringe are a flattering choice. (They aren't for me, because I have a super round face with prominent cheekbones, and I don't need my face "shortened" by bangs, thanks. :D My mom can wear them though she doesn't currently, but she has a longer, more square face than I do, and my daughter wears them currently, but while my daughter looks very like a light print of me, her face is more oval than mine.)

I confess to wearing them in the late 1980s/early 1990s when I was in middle and high school, and to heat-styling (curling iron, mostly) and hair-spraying the ever-loving heck out of them! :p

[browneyedsusan]

I'm 50, and a firmly entrenched in midwest Indiana.
I wore my hair down to work yesterday -- rock climbing gym, so it's a casual environment -- and raked in the compliments! (I stopped counting after 5! :cheese: )

No bangs, because I can't be bothered with them. (Yes, I have a tall forehead and look better with them, but they're a pain -- the perfect length for 2 days, then in my eyes or too short after they're trimmed.)

I do what I want with my hair. :lala: As long as small children don't flee from my presence, it's all good, eh?

[akuamoonmaui]

All excellent points as to how going against the norm can be received. As to regional differences, I agree that's a factor, too. I'm in an ultra-conservative rural area (I escaped for 20+ years; now that I'm back I keep having "oh yeah, that's why I left" experiences) in the southern US. The hair norm here is just as you describe with your midwestern mother, akuamoonmaui.

HUGS!!! There's nothing like an oppressive mass mindset.... :disgust:

[Cg]

There's nothing like an oppressive mass mindset.... :disgust:

I must be missing something. Why should anyone care what others prefer?

If absolutely everyone else on the planet thinks I should have short hair at my advanced age, that's fine but irrelevant.

[M.McDonough]

Those were some interesting responses

[akuamoonmaui]

I must be missing something. Why should anyone care what others prefer?

If absolutely everyone else on the planet thinks I should have short hair at my advanced age, that's fine but irrelevant.

Mostly 'cause it's really annoying for any real length of time. One's patience can get rather thin living in a population with encompassing short sightedness, a limited growth mind set and no real basis for unnecessary social mores. I'd rather not be the parrot in a flock of geese.

[Flipgirl24]

Maybe it's looked at as being "childish"? IDK. Just guessing. I had bangs all throughout 6th grade, middle school, high school. With my moments on and off. It was a trend back then in the late 80s & 90s too. First the big bulky ones that you backcombed to hell and beyond, then the all slicked back and stacked up high look. I'm glad I got rid of them, because bangs and oily hair: a chore!

I guess I can see that. As long as they don't look like the bangs that kids have then bangs shouldn't matter.

[animetor7]

Good! People should just stay outta your hair!

So are bangs looked down upon too? I have bangs.

I think they can look childish depending on how youthful you look generally. For example I have a baby face, as in I'm often mistaken for being 15 or sometimes even in middle school, when I'm 21 closing in on 22. So on me, bangs look childish. So can hoodies, twin braids and shorter dresses. I still wear these things and styles, but I do so knowing that if I don't want to be mistaken for a middle schooler I'd better make sure to wear my hair in a more mature style and put some makeup on. Other days I don't care what age others see me as, but most days it's important for me to be taken at least somewhat seriously, so I try to mitigate the baby face effect with classic styles and more "womanly" hairstyles. And even if you do have a baby face and want to rock bangs, do it!!! As has been said numerous times on the LHC you're not here to decorate anyone else's world!! :)

[JaneHathaway]

Speaking of bangs, I suspect some of us were childhood victims of well-meaning scissor-wielding mothers who kept trimming in an effort to get them even and wound up giving us Mamie Eisenhower bangs. Lawdamercy, it was traumatic.

ETA: Google Mamie for an idea of what I looked like in 4th grade.

[Cg]

Mostly 'cause it's really annoying for any real length of time. One's patience can get rather thin living in a population with encompassing short sightedness, a limited growth mind set and no real basis for unnecessary social mores. I'd rather not be the parrot in a flock of geese.

I think you've just described every human population on the planet. Each group has its own myopia and arrogance (except here, of course :wink:).

[akuamoonmaui]

I think you've just described every human population on the planet. Each group has its own myopia and arrogance (except here, of course :wink:).

Agreed. :toast:

I've had the opportunity to live in communities where the population mindset was more open, and other communities that were less open to individuality. I prefer more open every time! Some of the worst times in my life were in a community of afore mentioned "geese". Not to say they were bad people with hurtful intention. They weren't. It was just very frustrating personally, and sad to observe human nature in that respect. This is an amazing world with beauty and wisdom in every culture and walk of life.

[littlestarface]

Speaking of bangs, I suspect some of us were childhood victims of well-meaning scissor-wielding mothers who kept trimming in an effort to get them even and wound up giving us Mamie Eisenhower bangs. Lawdamercy, it was traumatic.

ETA: Google Mamie for an idea of what I looked like in 4th grade.

LOL I know I was!

[spidermom]

Some of the comments sound like they don't believe a woman who is older actually chooses to have short hair because she likes it, but honestly I think that's probably the main reason.

[Groovy Granny]

Some of the comments sound like they don't believe a woman who is older actually chooses to have short hair because she likes it, but honestly I think that's probably the main reason.

:hmm: possibly ~ I am in an area where the norm is 'curl up and dye'....and keep it short!

The number of women my age with long hair I could count on one hand....and only half of them really take care of it!
Those that do care for it have no real style...just the basic ponytail/twist/messy or cinnamon bun with a Walmart/drugstore hair accessory.
The two at my church are my age...they are old hippies like me LOL

I truly feel I stand out with my long silver, hair toys, and styles...not that I want the attention (and I don't get it); most must think I am weird :p

At first when I planned to grow from chin, hubby made a comment about 'not going as long as 'before' (BSL when I was 50)
I was self conscious and hesitant because of that; thinking it wouldn't look right on me in my 60's....as only a few in our community wear theirs long at my age.

Between the hesitation, the growing pains of layers, and having no idea how to manage a fine silver/medium dark hair combo....if if wasn't for LHC I would have 'curled up and dyed too' :lol:

It was just that keeping it short was harder; the front/top silver tended to curl and the dark hair in back was more wavy.
I felt I looked like my grandmother with a perm; I love her...just not her look on me :wink:

So I decided to try a longer length and I LOVE it :crush: it is so much easier to care for.... and fun to style.

*ON a side note...someone mentioned ladies with blue hair (never saw pink).
I think they just overuse the silver/purple shampoo.

If hubby (he is all white) uses it more than 1-2x/week he gets the blue tone to it.
I think it is negligent of a stylist to not take notice/advise the elderly about that...and I doubt they would choose it for themselves if they were aware....IMHO .

[vampyyri]

I've had bangs all my life... I could never imagine growing them out because of them being "childish", if anything it just makes you look even younger as you get older! They're just "me". Yes, they are a chore with oily hair and skin, but it's a welcome chore.

[hayheadsbird]

*snip*.

*ON a side note...someone mentioned ladies with blue hair (never saw pink).
I think they just overuse the silver/purple shampoo.

If hubby (he is all white) uses it more than 1-2x/week he gets the blue tone to it.
I think it is negligent of a stylist to not take notice/advise the elderly about that...and I doubt they would choose it for themselves if they were aware....IMHO .

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4199838/End-of-the-blue-rinse.html

No - they really did choose it! Think it's more a U.K. Thing though than US.

[Groovy Granny]

So are bangs looked down upon too? I have bangs.

I think it is an individual choice; personally I have never looked at them and considered the person's age who was wearing them :shrug:

Mine were mutilated by my mother when I was a kid :p....then I grew them out in the 60's with my long hair.....and cut them back in when I had shorter hair.

I just grew them back out the past few years while growing out chin length layered hair, only because my silver curls easily and I just can't get them to behave!

[melesine]

Some of the comments sound like they don't believe a woman who is older actually chooses to have short hair because she likes it, but honestly I think that's probably the main reason.

Only speaking for myself, I don't care what anyone does with their own hair. My issue is when they think they have the right to tell others what to do with theirs.

[Groovy Granny]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4199838/End-of-the-blue-rinse.html

No - they really did choose it! Think it's more a U.K. Thing though than US.

Oh geez ...they were ahead of their time with hair color LOL

[melesine]

I've had bangs all my life... I could never imagine growing them out because of them being "childish", if anything it just makes you look even younger as you get older! They're just "me". Yes, they are a chore with oily hair and skin, but it's a welcome chore.

I don't even understand how bangs could be childish.

[CindyOfTheOaks]

Speaking of bangs, I suspect some of us were childhood victims of well-meaning scissor-wielding mothers who kept trimming in an effort to get them even and wound up giving us Mamie Eisenhower bangs. Lawdamercy, it was traumatic.

ETA: Google Mamie for an idea of what I looked like in 4th grade.


ROFL !!

Raises hand ! Meeee toooo !

One time I was so happy I convinced my Mom to cut them to my eyebrows...not being the sharpest tack at the time...I raised my eyebrows up as far as I could...ohmagosh they were short ! I sure had my thinking backwards !

:doh:

[Cheniaa]

I mentioned this to my own mom, who has short auburn hair, and she says she keeps it short because it's easier to dye it that way.

[Tosca]

I would have thought a fringe would be good, for hiding forehead wrinkles.

[Entangled]

I would have thought a fringe would be good, for hiding forehead wrinkles.

Yeah, that's what I would think.:confused:
One of my grandmothers has short permed hair. It's white (she was a red head), and quite thin. I can't imagine her growing it out, and now that she has Parkinsons, I think it would be far too much work.

My other grandmother has short hair and wears wigs. She seems traditional in terms of keeping up with beauty standards (doesn't like to leave the house without makeup, doesn't like to be seen when she's not made up, always makes sure she looks put together before leaving the house).
My mom, who's not really old, has a bob and bangs. She just likes the way her hair looks, and I've heard a lot of moms cut their hair short when they have children. After a certain age, I think it's expected that women "settle down" and keep hair to a certain range of styles.

[Greenfire]

Yikes! This thread, people in it keep talking about older women and then using numbers like 40-50... wtf? That's older women to you? I'm 43 and still get carded buying booze... There's no way in hell I'm okay with being lumped in with "older women." In the same vein as people from north of the US border being insulted by people from the south calling us ma'am... don't freaking age us into old biddies who need help across the freaking street, until we need that. I'm thinking upwards of 80 or 90 really now till I'm feeble, and can be called an older woman. Geez this thread has a lot of people in it that will be surprised to learn that life doesn't freaking end at 40! Hair doesn't have to either!

[CindyOfTheOaks]

ROFL !
I am 59, to some I am old, to others not.
It's relative. Ain't life grand :)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

My mother told me I was too old for long hair at 22....

[Angelica]

My mom waited until she was in her late 40's, early 50's to grow her hair out, which she had wanted to do all her life but I think she felt her job (postmaster of a small town post office) would not allow that as 'professional' enough. But she finally did it and I have a photo of her from behind with a grey braid nearly to her hips and it is one of my favorite photos of her! When she was 54 she got colon cancer and she cut her hair off before the chemo made it fall out, and it never really had a chance to grow again because the cancer killed her in just 2.5 years. But she LOVED her long hair!

Very sorry to hear about this :(

I like to see women with long hair. I don't think age should dictate how long you wish to grow it. It's a silly notion that so many still hold onto.

[Cg]

Yikes! This thread, people in it keep talking about older women and then using numbers like 40-50... wtf? That's older women to you? I'm 43 and still get carded buying booze... There's no way in hell I'm okay with being lumped in with "older women." In the same vein as people from north of the US border being insulted by people from the south calling us ma'am... don't freaking age us into old biddies who need help across the freaking street, until we need that. I'm thinking upwards of 80 or 90 really now till I'm feeble, and can be called an older woman. Geez this thread has a lot of people in it that will be surprised to learn that life doesn't freaking end at 40! Hair doesn't have to either!

Please, spare your blood pressure.

To people in their teens and 20s, 43 is much older. We real oldsters consider 43 young. If being "of a certain age" bothers you now, you'll be apoplectic at 60, let alone 80. Enjoy every stage of your life.

[animetor7]

Yikes! This thread, people in it keep talking about older women and then using numbers like 40-50... wtf? That's older women to you? I'm 43 and still get carded buying booze... There's no way in hell I'm okay with being lumped in with "older women." In the same vein as people from north of the US border being insulted by people from the south calling us ma'am... don't freaking age us into old biddies who need help across the freaking street, until we need that. I'm thinking upwards of 80 or 90 really now till I'm feeble, and can be called an older woman. Geez this thread has a lot of people in it that will be surprised to learn that life doesn't freaking end at 40! Hair doesn't have to either!

I think that people are mentioning 40-50 as "older women" because that is the age where many women feel pressured by their peers to cut their hair short. It's not that hair or life ends there, not at all, that's just when some pressure to chop short starts. I don't think anyone means it as that's when you start being a "biddy" or anything of the sort. It's just that around middle age (around 40 for western countries given the average lifespan) in western countries many women are told they're "too old for long hair". That's what I think this thread is addressing, why that attitude is so common.

[lora410]

I am going to be 36 and some people would consider me in the "older" range. when I was in my 20s the taboo was after 30 you cut it short, so that is changing a lot. Ironically I look YOUNGER with longer hair and older with shorter hair

[CindyOfTheOaks]

My mother told me I was too old for long hair at 22....

ohmagosh - my Mom hates my hair with a passion. Even when it's up and she can't see it she has to make a crack about it.
It is better than the alternative at our ages tho...she probably won't be around all that much longer.

[Dolly]

Please, spare your blood pressure.

To people in their teens and 20s, 43 is much older. We real oldsters consider 43 young. If being "of a certain age" bothers you now, you'll be apoplectic at 60, let alone 80. Enjoy every stage of your life.


Yeah, I stopped worrying about that"number" of age a long time ago. I am staring down the barrel of 50, and couldn't care less. It is just a number. I gladly show my ID to anybody who asks. I am proud of my age! More like surprised that I made it this far alive, with some of the stupid crap I have done......LOLOLOL

[hanne jensen]

I'm 57 and am not old! I'm just slightly youthfully challenged! And my hair is at the bottom of my waist and creeping towards the floor. So there! LOL.;)

[LadyCelestina]

At 50-60 most people start experiencing age related health problems, so yeah... I think this is partly why some prefer to keep hair short. Less work, less dye upkeep.

[Mimha]

I can understand the need to cut when your hair starts to be difficult to take care of. I already cut it to a short bob some years ago because I had to undergo a disc hernia operation, plus a carpal channel job on the right hand. I had very bad heath problems at the time, with severe chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia as a side effect. I could not even bend over the washing basin to wash my hair !... :( Hopefully, after some years of strict low carb diet, I have recovered my full mobility and got rid of the pain. I'm still recurrently tired, though, and I have to be very careful not to go back to the bad habits. But I know that if some day I am too old for long hair, I will cut it again. I will probably never perm and dye my preciousness into a cauliflower, though. Oh no !... :laugh:

[Flipgirl24]

A cauliflower! A great way to put it!

[WildIris]

Where I live many older women, myself included, still keep their hair long. Some of those women keep their grey hair calf length. Older women cut their hair for many reasons: Fashion, ease of care, health, age related thinning.

After/during menopause I lost a huge amount of hair, so I cut my hair into a long bob. The cut framed my face and I didn't need to keep a stash of hair bands and hair sticks on every counter top. I also swim three times a week and short hair was easy. Now my greying hair wants to be long. It just keeps growing and is well past the middle of my back. It is thinner than it was in my 20s and has finally stopped shedding in hand fulls. I am still swimming three times a week. Thankfully the pool is a partial salt water pool so it is not too damaging. Still, the ends of my hair are like straw if I do not condition and oil.

[M.McDonough]

My mother told me I was too old for long hair at 22....

WHAT?!?!?? Oh my God! What about 12 is it old for long hair too?!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

WHAT?!?!?? Oh my God! What about 12 is it old for long hair too?!

22? Apparently.... :rolleyes:

[M.McDonough]

Yikes! This thread, people in it keep talking about older women and then using numbers like 40-50... wtf? That's older women to you? I'm 43 and still get carded buying booze... There's no way in hell I'm okay with being lumped in with "older women." In the same vein as people from north of the US border being insulted by people from the south calling us ma'am... don't freaking age us into old biddies who need help across the freaking street, until we need that. I'm thinking upwards of 80 or 90 really now till I'm feeble, and can be called an older woman. Geez this thread has a lot of people in it that will be surprised to learn that life doesn't freaking end at 40! Hair doesn't have to either!

Calm down, my lady. You're right and I agree with you 100%. It was a simple, innocent question that's all. In Semantics, older doesn't mean OLD but it means something like more mature. For example, if John is 20 and his brother is 14, that means John is older, but it doesn't necessarily mean OLD as in a guy who has wrinkles and gray hair, haha.

[neko_kawaii]

*chuckle*
I had a neighbor in his early 20s refer to me as his "slightly older female neighbor". He either misjudged my age or was being circumspect with the "slightly".

No pressure for short hair here. I have either succeeded in surrounding myself with people who enjoy differences or give off a serious "don't tell me what to do" vibe.

My mom is retired and has long hair. She was was asking me the last time she saw me for hair advice because she is bored with it but has no intention of cutting.

[Sophiatrist]

There are rules? I didn't start growing my hair out until I was in my 50's. Before that I always kept it short out of practicality. I spent 22 years in the Navy and while I knew women who did let their hair grow, it was a major nuisance trying to keep the appearance within "regulations" that I didn't want to deal with. My hair is at waist length now and I don't hear anything but compliments on how it looks.

[lapushka]

Where I live many older women, myself included, still keep their hair long. Some of those women keep their grey hair calf length. Older women cut their hair for many reasons: Fashion, ease of care, health, age related thinning.

After/during menopause I lost a huge amount of hair, so I cut my hair into a long bob. The cut framed my face and I didn't need to keep a stash of hair bands and hair sticks on every counter top. I also swim three times a week and short hair was easy. Now my greying hair wants to be long. It just keeps growing and is well past the middle of my back. It is thinner than it was in my 20s and has finally stopped shedding in hand fulls. I am still swimming three times a week. Thankfully the pool is a partial salt water pool so it is not too damaging. Still, the ends of my hair are like straw if I do not condition and oil.

Welcome to the forum! :)

[betterhairday]

I'm 72 and have always had short hair and I put it down to pure laziness. It is very easy to maintain a short pixie style but I am waiting for someone to say I am too old to wear a pixie with bangs! Personally I think if you keep your hair in tip top condition you should wear it exactly how you want to.

[lapushka]

I'm 72 and have always had short hair and I put it down to pure laziness. It is very easy to maintain a short pixie style but I am waiting for someone to say I am too old to wear a pixie with bangs! Personally I think if you keep your hair in tip top condition you should wear it exactly how you want to.

I think that might also depend on texture, because I have wavy hair and a pixie with that texture is an atrocious (poofball) to me. If your texture is smooth (like in the 1s), I can see it being easier to manage as you can do without styling pretty much.

[Cg]

I'm 72 and have always had short hair and I put it down to pure laziness. It is very easy to maintain a short pixie style but I am waiting for someone to say I am too old to wear a pixie with bangs! Personally I think if you keep your hair in tip top condition you should wear it exactly how you want to.

Exactly. Well cared for hair is beautiful regardless of style, length, or color.

[Greenfire]

Calm down, my lady. You're right and I agree with you 100%. It was a simple, innocent question that's all. In Semantics, older doesn't mean OLD but it means something like more mature. For example, if John is 20 and his brother is 14, that means John is older, but it doesn't necessarily mean OLD as in a guy who has wrinkles and gray hair, haha.

YOUR way of using older is fine, it's some of the other comments in this thread, like one calling those in their 40s and 50s "old lady" that had me going there. Lol really...
Older sounds no where near as bad as saying old lady. But really, "older women", as a compound phrase, you need to take on the full spectrum, there are young women, and middle aged women, and old women, but I'd never call someone a young woman if they were 65 simply because it was in comparison to someone who was 70, even though they are technically younger.

[turtlelover]

I'm 41 and not feeling the least bit "old" but maybe I'm in denial or something! HAHAHA

[sarahthegemini]

On the subject of bangs/fringe, I don't know if I'd call them childish, however I look about 10 years younger with a fringe (and I aleady look way younger than I am!)

[spidermom]

I might just get myself some short hair one of these days, and it has NOTHING to do with cultural expectations or infirmity or any of that other crap. I've had long hair for at least 10 years and feel like trying something new.

[Ciscley]

I might just get myself some short hair one of these days, and it has NOTHING to do with cultural expectations or infirmity or any of that other crap. I've had long hair for at least 10 years and feel like trying something new.

I think that's a really common reason for some women. You've had long hair all your life and cutting it is a radical change.

Another reason I haven't seen mentioned is because it's pampering to go to the salon regularly and get a shorter haircut maintained. It's therefore a sign of wealth. Having the perfectly kept, expertly "frosted" bob was really common with middle aged and older women when I was growing up.

Or it's a rejection of societal expectations that require women to constantly appeal to men. Cause older women tend to give less ****s about what Cosmo thinks men think women should look like.

Or to be really ageist, but also somewhat true, hot flashes - cause I'm so not looking forward to that.

Re: the OP, I think it would be just as valid to ask why do younger women mostly have long hair. Especially little girls with baby fine hair that tangles like crazy. There are lots of reasons and some of them can fit into negative female stereotypes and maybe even asking the question perpetuates them.

[Ciscley]

That sounds much more bitchy than I meant it to. Should just have said Ditto to Spidermom's post because what I took from it was let's not assume older women are making hair decisions for any different reasons than all other women - personal preference, fashion trends and whims, social expectations, comfort, ease, etc.

[BookishRay]

Yikes! This thread, people in it keep talking about older women and then using numbers like 40-50... wtf? That's older women to you? I'm 43 and still get carded buying booze... There's no way in hell I'm okay with being lumped in with "older women." In the same vein as people from north of the US border being insulted by people from the south calling us ma'am... don't freaking age us into old biddies who need help across the freaking street, until we need that. I'm thinking upwards of 80 or 90 really now till I'm feeble, and can be called an older woman. Geez this thread has a lot of people in it that will be surprised to learn that life doesn't freaking end at 40! Hair doesn't have to either!

I've always had a hard time with the ma'am/sir thing. I'm from the southern states and was taught to call people sir or ma'am as a sign of respect. It has NEVER had anything to do with age. I call children I interact with sir or ma'am...

Off topic I know, sorry.

[JaneHathaway]

I've always had a hard time with the ma'am/sir thing. I'm from the southern states and was taught to call people sir or ma'am as a sign of respect. It has NEVER had anything to do with age. I call children I interact with sir or ma'am...

Off topic I know, sorry.

Ditto. I started to post the same.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I think using sir or ma'am as a sign of respect is a wonderful thing. I have only ever been called ma'am once but it gave me shivers of delight :) (As opposed to the usual not being called anything at all).

[Alun]

My mother has always had hair somewhere around shoulder length, and she is 87. She would have been in her teens during WW2, and her hair length probably matches that period. She never liked me having hair longer than shoulder length either, which seems to have nothing to do with me being a guy.

Her mother, my gran, had long hair that I never saw down, but was always in what I now know to be a crown braid. Gran was born in 1897. Flappers would have been in their teens and 20s in the 20s, I suppose, so she would have been at the older end of that range, and never went for short hair, but kept it long all her life. Washed it with water only, too.

My teens correspond to the 1970s, pretty much. Long hair on guys was the norm in those days, although that mostly meant only shoulder length. I grew it out longer than that at age 23 in response to a girl dismissing it as only being 'long for a guy', which I took as a challenge. Oddly enough, most men my age now have short hair, and many of them even have shaved heads, which is particularly odd, because back in the day a shaved head meant you were a skinhead/neo-nazi/soccer hooligan. Bottom line, I like the styles from when I was young, and don't care much whether anyone else does. I would wear the clothing styles from back then if I could only find them in stores, and jeans shopping is mainly directed to finding the ones with the widest hems.

So yeah, I understand why people want to dress/wear their hair like when they were younger. What I don't understand is people who prefer to emulate the styles of their own parents/grandparents??

[Tosca]

Just going to say that when I was waitressing at age 17, I called everyone ma'am or sir, because calling a 60 year old lady miss when you're less than half their age is just weird. In general calling someone older than you miss is weird, even if they are only 10 years older.

ETA: I make 1950's style clothes (dad was born in 1955) for myself a lot, because quite frankly, they fit far better than store bought clothes, I think it looks nice, full skirts tolerate weight gain/fluctuation better (I gain mostly in my hips), the defined waist takes me from 'chubby' to 'curvy', knee length is my preferred length of skirt, I don't like wearing deep or low cut necklines, the whole silhouette suits my body shape and lifestyle, and if I make them out of cotton they don't look too out of place in my small country town. I am 20 years old (born in 1996).

[lapushka]

I'm 44. I don't feel "old" in the slightest. ;) It's all relative. If you grow older, you'll get it. For sure. My mom is 70 and she doesn't feel old and resents being treated like a senior citizen. She wears skinny jeans (and she's got the figure for it) and cute tops, and doesn't let age dictate her. I love that! :)

[gypsycolleen]

Unless cut for work or grown out for religion, I think hair length is generational. I grew up in the 70s, and see many more people in their 50s and 60s with long hair. Whereas, my mother's and grandmother's generation, wear it short. I've had my hair above shoulder short only twice in my adult life, and I think long hair is much easier to deal with. (unless it's so short you can't do anything with it!) My grandmother had to have hers permed. My mom blows, gels, and spikes everyday, I just twirl and clip mine up!