How To Get The Haircut You Want?

[HollyLindsey]

We've all been there, you don't get the haircut you ask for. I think I've been there on to many times now... :rolleyes:

I actually made a post on this website over a year ago with a similar situation. I went to the salon for a shoulder length lob and came out with a chin length cut with layers above my eyes!! Luckily, this time wasn't as bad. I spent the past year and a half growing my chin length cut with a stair case of layers to a one length APL cut. Due to my oblong-ish face shape, I decided a *few* soft long layers would be more flattering. I asked for something similar to Cara Delevinge's new cut (This one: https://www.instagram.com/p/BK6HBr4DA7Y/?taken-by=caradelevingne) and ended up with something closer to a 90s shag. I don't think there's anything wrong with that cut if that's what you like, it's just not what I wanted.

I just hope you can understand my frustration of spending over a year growing out my hair. It was looking so thick and I felt comfortable in it. I could really use some advice on how to get the haircut you want at the salon. (I don't feel comfortable cutting my hair myself.) Is there a secret hairdresser code I don't know about? ;) And, is there anybody else with an oblong face who can give me some tips on how to feel more comfortable in this cut? I feel like I look less feminine and just... blah!

Anyways, this wasn't mean to be a rant... I'm trying to stay positive because my hair feels so much more soft and healthy.

[HollyLindsey]

(sorry, I deleted the link)

[Frankenstein]

I also don't feel comfortable cutting my own hair, although many members here do it with success. I think it helps to just be very assertive about what you want; not rude of course, but very specific and emphasizing it. It also helps to go to a good hairdresser that will take the time to listen to you instead of just doing whatever they feel like doing.

[Kajzh]

file:///Users/hollym/Desktop/Photo%20on%209-30-16%20at%2011.25%20PM.jpg

file:///Users/hollym/Desktop/Photo%20on%209-30-16%20at%2011.28%20PM%20%232.jpg
Oops! You'll have to upload your files from your home computer (offline) to an image hosting website (online) so we can see it!

[HollyLindsey]

Kajzh: Sorry, I just fixed the link :) Your hair looks so beautiful btw!

[Decoy24601]

And here I am :eek:

http://imgur.com/a/dxOww

Just letting you know... you shared your pictures to the public on imgur instead of only uploading the images.

[HollyLindsey]

Decoy24601: I couldn't get the image to upload. I made that Imgur specifically for those pictures so I don't mind. Thanks :)

[Kajzh]

Just letting you know... you shared your pictures to the public on imgur instead of only uploading the images.

Yikes, I made the mistake of reading the comments. How terribly awful of everyone! :(

[HollyLindsey]

I didn't know people could comment on there. I'm sorry I ending up deleting the pictures, I didn't expect that.

[Obsidian]

Try using tinypic.com to upload your photos. It more user friendly.

[lapushka]

You need to set your imgur albums to private (you can do that). That way you can still link them where you want (like here), but they can't be commented on.

[spidermom]

Some suggestions:
1) If you see someone with fabulous hair, compliment and ask about his/her stylist.
2) Go into a salon, say you're there to look at styling books because you're contemplating a change, flip through books and watch the stylists.
3) Take pictures to your appointment, but listen to the stylist. Some hair won't do certain styles, and your stylist will know.
4) Brush up on styling terms so that you can communicate in terms the stylist will understand.

I used to impulsively walk into salons all the time, but I guess I was a good communicator because I've seldom had what I'd call a bad experience. The few bad experiences I've had were mostly my fault, I think. For example, I walked into a salon for a trim, which I said, but I was chattering away to the stylist about how I wanted to get rid of my layers EVENTUALLY, and she blunt-cut it a good 4-6 inches, eliminating the layers all at once. My bad.

[Kajzh]

I think the ideal situation would be to go to a stylist that understands the behavior of your hair type (this is a HUGE one for me, because back in my hometown, lots of stylists utterly botched my hair because they'd never touched a black person's head before) and also has the style you want already in their portfolio.

Spidermom brings up excellent points too!

[melesine]

I cut my own hair, I got sick and tired of them cutting more off than I wanted. The final straw was when I went in for a trim on my hair and ended up with a collarbone length bob.

[missmelaniem]

I cut my own as well. I had the same hairdresser for years and kept going back to her because she never screwed my hair up, not because I loved how she did my hair :(

I like long layers so I purchased the CreaClip and havent looked back. I could cut my own hair ok without, but it made it so much easier. Plus theres Feyes self-trim method that many people use with great success. I keep my money and am much happier with my hair.

I think finding a great hairdresser is hit and miss. Even your favorite may have off days where you arent going to get their best work, unfortunately

[lapushka]

When my hair got botched after that chemical cut & burn, my mom started to do my hair (trim it). We used Feye's self-trimming method - that's all you need for a blunt cut. And if you want layered ends, then there's the compact cut method (not recommended for hair shorter than BSL, though, or the layers will be shockingly short).

[HollyLindsey]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the feedback. :) I actually just added a photo to my photo album on this forum. I don't know how to fix this cut without going too short.

[KittyBird]

I was lucky when I did my big chop this summer, because the hair dresser I went to did pretty much exactly what I asked her to. I told her that I wanted my hair to be slightly below my shoulders and ended up with hair that was shoulder length, which was what I wanted. From my experience, hair dressers often cut shorter than I ask for, so I very sneakily asked for longer hair than I actually wanted. ;) She also did an awesome job when she layered my hair, and she was careful not to cut them too short. I think it's very important to discuss the cut and make sure that s/he understands what you want.

[kattmara]

Some suggestions:
1) If you see someone with fabulous hair, compliment and ask about his/her stylist.
2) Go into a salon, say you're there to look at styling books because you're contemplating a change, flip through books and watch the stylists.
3) Take pictures to your appointment, but listen to the stylist. Some hair won't do certain styles, and your stylist will know.
4) Brush up on styling terms so that you can communicate in terms the stylist will understand.

I used to impulsively walk into salons all the time, but I guess I was a good communicator because I've seldom had what I'd call a bad experience. The few bad experiences I've had were mostly my fault, I think. For example, I walked into a salon for a trim, which I said, but I was chattering away to the stylist about how I wanted to get rid of my layers EVENTUALLY, and she blunt-cut it a good 4-6 inches, eliminating the layers all at once. My bad.


I think the ideal situation would be to go to a stylist that understands the behavior of your hair type (this is a HUGE one for me, because back in my hometown, lots of stylists utterly botched my hair because they'd never touched a black person's head before) and also has the style you want already in their portfolio.

Spidermom brings up excellent points too!

^These two. I almost had a disaster with bleach when I went to a hairdresser that had never worked with fine and already light hair before. Fortunately she was attentive and continuously checked the progress and could rinse the product out in time.
I would like to add to number 2) by spidermom that even if they try to push you, you are under no obligation to go through with anything unless you have an oral agreement or you have signed something, just because they tell you they can do something doesn't mean you have to let them if you don't feel comfortable.

It can also help if you have the hairdresser describe the idea you have back to you so that you are completely sure that you are on the same page. You can sort of ask about their professional opinion on your idea and also ask how they will do it so that you can tell them before they start about inconsistencies in your hair like maybe wavier bangs or a curl that wont budge. That wont sound so harsh or snooty I think and is what I did the last times I went to a hairdresser but I have gotten tired of the whole ordeal anyway so I just micro-trim it myself.

[HollyLindsey]

http://imgur.com/soMB0xW

[lapushka]

http://imgur.com/soMB0xW

I'm sorry but the picture isn't showing. I can see a URL when I quote, but no pic.

[HollyLindsey]

I'm sorry but the picture isn't showing. I can see a URL when I quote, but no pic.

I just can't seem to get photos to upload... I just added it to my photo album on my profile if you want to see the photo there. Sorry about that.

[lapushka]

I just can't seem to get photos to upload... I just added it to my photo album on my profile if you want to see the photo there. Sorry about that.

Pretty! Should be great to grow out from here on out! :D Love the wavy texture!

[spidermom]

Hey - that cut isn't so bad. You can do your first few trims by making a ponytail, then sliding the tie toward the ends and snipping off the very tips.

[HollyLindsey]

Hey - that cut isn't so bad. You can do your first few trims by making a ponytail, then sliding the tie toward the ends and snipping off the very tips.

Thanks, I think I'll try trimming it like that within the next few weeks.

[HollyLindsey]

Pretty! Should be great to grow out from here on out! :D Love the wavy texture!

Thank you, I really appreciate that. :) I was afraid it looked terrible, but maybe it's not as bad as I thought.

[HollyLindsey]

Well... figured out why the haircut looks not so great. The hairdresser cut my hair to be parted on the other side where I have a massive cowlick!

[animetor7]

Well... figured out why the haircut looks not so great. The hairdresser cut my hair to be parted on the other side where I have a massive cowlick!

I understand this. I learned long ago not to fight my cowlick. When I used to go hairdressers I always told them that it's there and that I part in the direction it's happiest so that I didn't end up with something that's meant to be parted a different way. Now that I only ever self trim and give myself a blunt cut, it's a lot less of an issue.

[renia22]

HolleyLindsey- your hair looks good!

I agree with what others said about shopping around when looking for a stylist. I found mine because I really liked how she did the hair of a couple of people who I know. She does exactly what I ask her to do. The first time you go to someone, I would also suggest getting only a 1/4 inch trim, and only if they can do that without cutting off more, would I trust the person with anything else. You just know that if a 1/4 inch trim turns into an inch, what a request for several inches and layers will turn into once they get hacking :/

There are good stylists who listen out there, you just have to do some detective work to hunt them down.

Good luck!

[MidnightMoon]

I think I may be the only person who has ever gone to a hairdresser and actually ended up with hair *longer* than I wanted. This was in February 2015, when I went from tailbone to about APL. I asked for shoulder length, meaning hair to sit on top of my shoulders, but I guess she knew doing such a drastic chop might mean I would regret later?
I certainly did, less than two weeks later lol. Thankfully Im back at hip, just a few inches to get back to what I had before ;).
My advice would be to get tons of pictures and actually ask if they feel comfortable with the cut and believe they can achieve a similar result. When asked directly they might express their concerns openly and be more sincere about their abilities and what they think si doable with your hair type, etc.

[Hurven]

I've only hade one or two bad experiences at the hair salon, and those were my own fault. I wasn't specific and clear about what I wanted, so I don't blame the stylists in any way. The times I've been the happiest with my hair after the salon is when I've brought pictures.

Also, like MidnightMoon, I've ended up with longer hair than I wanted. ;) This was in April 2015. My hair was just short of BSL (I think) and I wanted her to cut 5 cm. When she had done that I changed my mind and said I wanted my hair to be collarbone length. I figured that since I'm growing out dye, I might as well cut as much as possible when I'm there. She told me that she couldn't do that. I had booked her for an hour and those first 5 cm only took like 20 minutes (washing included!), so at least it wasn't an issue of time... I don't really know what that was about. :confused:

[JaneHathaway]

…Also, like MidnightMoon, I've ended up with longer hair than I wanted. ;) This was in April 2015. My hair was just short of BSL (I think) and I wanted her to cut 5 cm. When she had done that I changed my mind and said I wanted my hair to be collarbone length. I figured that since I'm growing out dye, I might as well cut as much as possible when I'm there. She told me that she couldn't do that. I had booked her for an hour and those first 5 cm only took like 20 minutes (washing included!), so at least it wasn't an issue of time... I don't really know what that was about. :confused:

I wonder if it's because you'd changed your mind while in the chair and she feared it was an impulsive decision you might regret? That's all I can think of.

[Hurven]

I wonder if it's because you'd changed your mind while in the chair and she feared it was an impulsive decision you might regret? That's all I can think of.

Yeah, that could be it. But I told her that I'm growing out dye and that's the reason I wanted her to cut more. But she still insisted that she couldn't do it and she never gave me any explanation. :confused:

[spidermom]

I've also walked out with longer hair than I intended. I asked the stylist to give me something new and he trimmed off maybe 1/2 inch.

[JaneHathaway]

Yeah, that could be it. But I told her that I'm growing out dye and that's the reason I wanted her to cut more. But she still insisted that she couldn't do it and she never gave me any explanation. :confused:

Huh. Then I got nothing. Not very good customer service that she didn't explain.

[mermaid lullaby]

Any tips for those of us, who are tbl and want to maintain? I don't know what to say :o

[Upside Down]

I think I may be the only person who has ever gone to a hairdresser and actually ended up with hair *longer* than I wanted. This was in February 2015, when I went from tailbone to about APL. I asked for shoulder length, meaning hair to sit on top of my shoulders, but I guess she knew doing such a drastic chop might mean I would regret later?
I certainly did, less than two weeks later lol. Thankfully Im back at hip, just a few inches to get back to what I had before ;).
My advice would be to get tons of pictures and actually ask if they feel comfortable with the cut and believe they can achieve a similar result. When asked directly they might express their concerns openly and be more sincere about their abilities and what they think si doable with your hair type, etc.

Something like this happened to me too. I asked for apl and got bsl. Not that it was so bad, because turns out I could do buns. At apl? Probably not.

As for op, if I were you I'd just trim the back by an inch and that's it. It looks good. As it grows you can trim to a blunt hemline or layers if that's what you like.

Check out feye's self trimming method, it is really simple! All you need are good scissors.

[MidnightMoon]

Haha well there goes the fame hairdressers have of "always cutting more than desired". I guess (or hope) some value hair as much as we do haha

[lapushka]

Any tips for those of us, who are tbl and want to maintain? I don't know what to say :o

Any chance you want to try to self-trim (Feye's method comes to mind)?

[HollyLindsey]

HolleyLindsey- your hair looks good!

I agree with what others said about shopping around when looking for a stylist. I found mine because I really liked how she did the hair of a couple of people who I know. She does exactly what I ask her to do. The first time you go to someone, I would also suggest getting only a 1/4 inch trim, and only if they can do that without cutting off more, would I trust the person with anything else. You just know that if a 1/4 inch trim turns into an inch, what a request for several inches and layers will turn into once they get hacking :/

There are good stylists who listen out there, you just have to do some detective work to hunt them down.

Good luck!

Thanks! I plan on getting a tiny trim in the next couple of weeks to get rid of the scraggly ends. I found a new hairdresser who has a beautiful one length long bob, so I figured they'll get what I mean when I say "no more layers!" :)

[HollyLindsey]

Anyone have suggestions on how to make shorter hair look less awkward when you have a longer face shape with a high forehead?