PDA

View Full Version : Youtuber talking about the pressure to donate long hair!



Horrorpops
September 27th, 2016, 09:26 AM
I love Beautyklove on YouTube, she seems like a genuinely nice lady, has phenomenal hair and I know she has quite a few fans on these boards. She just posted this video (https://youtu.be/DPFmrZY0mlM) addressing why she hates being asked to donate her hair and why it's not fair to pester people with long hair. It's nothing that hasn't been said a million times on the board but all I could think of while watching it was the LHC and "preach it sister!" :laugh:

Honestly though it's something I almost never hear outside of the LHC or in any more mainstream kind of media so I thought it's pretty cool of her to actually stand up and say something. I found it very refreshing and thought some of you might enjoy it as much as I did.

DweamGoiL
September 27th, 2016, 09:33 AM
Will check it out, but had to stop in and say horrorpops, your hair...:thud:

PixieP
September 27th, 2016, 09:34 AM
Actually I came up with the perfect answer to brush off the "it's selfish not to donate your hair" while ranting to my husband about it the other day. "It's just as selfish to not grow it long and donate" :P

Haven't watched the video, but it great that a well known YouTuber talks about it!

vampyyri
September 27th, 2016, 09:37 AM
Actually I came up with the perfect answer to brush off the "it's selfish not to donate your hair" while ranting to my husband about it the other day. "It's just as selfish to not grow it long and donate" :P

Haven't watched the video, but it great that a well known YouTuber talks about it!

Hah, I like that one! I've never gotten the comment before (since I now hide in up-dos daily, no one around me knows how long it really is except for my husband/friends), but I will definitely use that on the off-chance that I let my hair down and someone says something.

Stepo_NiNha
September 27th, 2016, 10:26 AM
Actually I came up with the perfect answer to brush off the "it's selfish not to donate your hair" while ranting to my husband about it the other day. "It's just as selfish to not grow it long and donate" :P

Haven't watched the video, but it great that a well known YouTuber talks about it!

This is the best answer!

For the first time of my life in the other day I was told to donate or sell my hair.
I said: "Why shoulder-length-haired-people (regular length), in their charity thought, don't cut their whole hair as well and make a wig out of it to donate?" I don't know anyone doing that!

Shiranshoku
September 27th, 2016, 10:44 AM
Actually I came up with the perfect answer to brush off the "it's selfish not to donate your hair" while ranting to my husband about it the other day. "It's just as selfish to not grow it long and donate" :P

Haven't watched the video, but it great that a well known YouTuber talks about it!

Alas, I have a colleague who has done just that for the third time already just recently, so that one doesn't work. So I go with the good old 'because I don't want to' argument. :P

Hurven
September 27th, 2016, 02:09 PM
I've never heard of anyone getting those kind of comments here in Sweden, or Scandinavia at all for that matter. I guess donating hair isn't really a thing here. :P

However, many people on this board seem to get those comments, so I think it's good that a well-known youtuber talks about it. :o

Shiranshoku
September 27th, 2016, 03:05 PM
I actually just got a YouTube preroll about donating my hair! 0.o

lapushka
September 27th, 2016, 03:13 PM
I actually just got a YouTube preroll about donating my hair! 0.o

What's a YT "preroll"?

CreatureBailey
September 27th, 2016, 03:14 PM
I..well... it's kinda weird, but as much as I myself want to keep my long hair and stuff, I kinda can still understand people who tells us we are kinda ''selfish''.

I DON'T WANNA START DRAMA HERE :flower:

It's just that, we are ''healthy'', we don't have like alopecia or cancer or other conditions that affects our hair, we are capable of growing it long, then regrowing it, then regrowing it, then again and again. And I totally agree that it would suck, it would suck so much, to have our hair be back at a much shorter length, and having to go all over again through the process of growing it aaaall the way until where we used to be. I agree, it would be quite uncomfortable.

But, also, some people are less lucky, they can't grow it again and again like us. And as much as it would suck to be back at a short length and having to grow again, they can't. We ''could'' sacrifice a few years of ''comfort'' so that unhealthy people can have this gift, instead of spending (maybe the rest of their lives) without any hair. Sure it would suck to lose length for a period of time, but these people can't even grow properly any... And here we are with our lucky capacity, not wanting to sacrifice just a bit even if we are healthy and capable of growing back.

I don't wanna sound mean
I really am part of the people who don't wanna cut my hair
I basically am calling my own self selfish
I'm really sorry if this offends anyone, this is not at all my goal
I just wanna understand your point of view

I sorta have the point of view I have now and I wanna understand exactly why I would be wrong

Because I feel I might be wrong
And I don't mean to offend anyone with my ''wrongness''
I just want people to explain why I could be wrong so that I can change of point of view and make more sense

I wanna know why really we aren't selfish for it
I know there could be a good explanation, but I can't find it in my head and I need to be explained

Thanks guys

sarahthegemini
September 27th, 2016, 03:26 PM
I find it strange that this is such a touchy subject. Being asked to donate your hair must certainly be annoying but in the grand scheme of things, it's no big deal. It's not like they're asking for your kidney.

lapushka
September 27th, 2016, 03:36 PM
I just think hair is hair, whether it be long or short, it's nobody's business why it is the way that it is. Do we go around talking to shorter haired people they should "shave it off" just to donate? No. Well then, just assuming we have enough of it so we should be able to give it away is beyond silly IMMHO.

Dwemeri
September 27th, 2016, 03:45 PM
I..well... it's kinda weird, but as much as I myself want to keep my long hair and stuff, I kinda can still understand people who tells us we are kinda ''selfish''.

I DON'T WANNA START DRAMA HERE :flower:

It's just that, we are ''healthy'', we don't have like alopecia or cancer or other conditions that affects our hair, we are capable of growing it long, then regrowing it, then regrowing it, then again and again. And I totally agree that it would suck, it would suck so much, to have our hair be back at a much shorter length, and having to go all over again through the process of growing it aaaall the way until where we used to be. I agree, it would be quite uncomfortable.

But, also, some people are less lucky, they can't grow it again and again like us. And as much as it would suck to be back at a short length and having to grow again, they can't. We ''could'' sacrifice a few years of ''comfort'' so that unhealthy people can have this gift, instead of spending (maybe the rest of their lives) without any hair. Sure it would suck to lose length for a period of time, but these people can't even grow properly any... And here we are with our lucky capacity, not wanting to sacrifice just a bit even if we are healthy and capable of growing back.

I don't wanna sound mean
I really am part of the people who don't wanna cut my hair
I basically am calling my own self selfish
I'm really sorry if this offends anyone, this is not at all my goal
I just wanna understand your point of view

I sorta have the point of view I have now and I wanna understand exactly why I would be wrong

Because I feel I might be wrong
And I don't mean to offend anyone with my ''wrongness''
I just want people to explain why I could be wrong so that I can change of point of view and make more sense

I wanna know why really we aren't selfish for it
I know there could be a good explanation, but I can't find it in my head and I need to be explained

Thanks guys


No one is selfish for not donating their hair. Besides the fact that it's your body and no one should pressure you into cutting off part and giving it away unless you want to; I seriously looked into it when I did the big chop for my hair, and I found out that reputable wig donation places are already inundated with as much or more hair than they need. It's not like there's a dearth of hair for wigs. No one is not getting a wig because you didn't give your hair away.

mz_butterfly
September 27th, 2016, 03:51 PM
I..well... it's kinda weird, but as much as I myself want to keep my long hair and stuff, I kinda can still understand people who tells us we are kinda ''selfish''.

I DON'T WANNA START DRAMA HERE :flower:

It's just that, we are ''healthy'', we don't have like alopecia or cancer or other conditions that affects our hair, we are capable of growing it long, then regrowing it, then regrowing it, then again and again. And I totally agree that it would suck, it would suck so much, to have our hair be back at a much shorter length, and having to go all over again through the process of growing it aaaall the way until where we used to be. I agree, it would be quite uncomfortable.

But, also, some people are less lucky, they can't grow it again and again like us. And as much as it would suck to be back at a short length and having to grow again, they can't. We ''could'' sacrifice a few years of ''comfort'' so that unhealthy people can have this gift, instead of spending (maybe the rest of their lives) without any hair. Sure it would suck to lose length for a period of time, but these people can't even grow properly any... And here we are with our lucky capacity, not wanting to sacrifice just a bit even if we are healthy and capable of growing back.

I don't wanna sound mean
I really am part of the people who don't wanna cut my hair
I basically am calling my own self selfish
I'm really sorry if this offends anyone, this is not at all my goal
I just wanna understand your point of view

I sorta have the point of view I have now and I wanna understand exactly why I would be wrong

Because I feel I might be wrong
And I don't mean to offend anyone with my ''wrongness''
I just want people to explain why I could be wrong so that I can change of point of view and make more sense


I wanna know why really we aren't selfish for it
I know there could be a good explanation, but I can't find it in my head and I need to be explained

Thanks guys

Because it's our body and we have the freedom to keep all of our body parts intact and that absolutely does not make us selfish that we want to keep our own hair that we grew on our own bodies.

I am not selfish because people need kidneys and I could live with one but choose not to donate it.

I am not selfish because people need a liver transplant and I could give them half of mine, mine would regenerate to 80 percent of its' original size and I could live perfectly fine with it, but I choose not to donate it.

I am not selfish because I have clothes that I like to wear and people need clothes but I do not give mine away.

I am not selfish because I have 2 televisions and some households have none and I choose not to give one to someone.

We are not selfish if we work for something (money, material items, hair, etc) and wish to keep it for ourselves.

It is selfish to ask someone else to give things away that they have worked for or expect them to give things away to others. I can't believe that people would try to force someone else to do something or to give something of theirs away. It's nobodys business as to what someone else does with their life, their money, their hair, their bodies, their time or anything else. :)

So, that is why we are not selfish for simply wanting to keep the hair that we grew.

PixieP
September 27th, 2016, 03:55 PM
I..well... it's kinda weird, but as much as I myself want to keep my long hair and stuff, I kinda can still understand people who tells us we are kinda ''selfish''.

I DON'T WANNA START DRAMA HERE :flower:

:scissors:
.

Simply because it is my body, and I will not be bullied or pressured into doing something with it that I am not comfortable with, regardless of what it is. My hair is a part of me, it's part of my identity, my daily life, my routines. I could give away everything I own because there are others who need it more than me, but I won't. That's selfish, and I'm ok with that. No-one can live their entire life sacrificing every single thing because there are others who need it more. That's not living.

DweamGoiL
September 27th, 2016, 04:07 PM
I don't mean to sound condescending or create drama, but I find it really insulting that people feel that they can/should/have the right to pressure/cajole/or insist that other people act against their own free will. Yes, it is annoying to be questioned on why you won't donate, and it's happened to me personally once or twice. I just simply say because I don't want to. I usually ask people how was it when you made your donation? and MOST people that ask this, do not donate themselves. I am not swayed by insecure personalities trying to control me into something I had not intention on doing. It's just like anything else that people want to push on you; morality, religion, reproductive choices, etc. It's not OK to tell other people what to do... period!

littlestarface
September 27th, 2016, 04:16 PM
You know I have never in my life been asked this by anyone, I guess it's just different for some cultures aye.

vampyyri
September 27th, 2016, 04:23 PM
I..well... it's kinda weird, but as much as I myself want to keep my long hair and stuff, I kinda can still understand people who tells us we are kinda ''selfish''.

I DON'T WANNA START DRAMA HERE :flower:

It's just that, we are ''healthy'', we don't have like alopecia or cancer or other conditions that affects our hair, we are capable of growing it long, then regrowing it, then regrowing it, then again and again. And I totally agree that it would suck, it would suck so much, to have our hair be back at a much shorter length, and having to go all over again through the process of growing it aaaall the way until where we used to be. I agree, it would be quite uncomfortable.

But, also, some people are less lucky, they can't grow it again and again like us. And as much as it would suck to be back at a short length and having to grow again, they can't. We ''could'' sacrifice a few years of ''comfort'' so that unhealthy people can have this gift, instead of spending (maybe the rest of their lives) without any hair. Sure it would suck to lose length for a period of time, but these people can't even grow properly any... And here we are with our lucky capacity, not wanting to sacrifice just a bit even if we are healthy and capable of growing back.

I don't wanna sound mean
I really am part of the people who don't wanna cut my hair
I basically am calling my own self selfish
I'm really sorry if this offends anyone, this is not at all my goal
I just wanna understand your point of view

I sorta have the point of view I have now and I wanna understand exactly why I would be wrong

Because I feel I might be wrong
And I don't mean to offend anyone with my ''wrongness''
I just want people to explain why I could be wrong so that I can change of point of view and make more sense

I wanna know why really we aren't selfish for it
I know there could be a good explanation, but I can't find it in my head and I need to be explained

Thanks guys

I'm just gonna leave this here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/locks-of-love-controversy_n_3269078.html

Christine_O
September 27th, 2016, 05:55 PM
Speaking as a former bald cancer patient, I will never donate my hair. I appreciate the efforts of those who do, but there are so many wigs out there to choose from, and maybe I was too sick and missed it, but they weren't being offered to me free of charge. Besides, I hated them. :P I loved the head scarf look though, and really wish I had felt well enough to enjoy the freedom of not having any hair.

I know it's hard for people who lack the self-assurance to be able to go out into the world with their hair off, but is that really an excuse to harrass someone with longer than average hair?

Okay, so I am probably stirring up trouble here, but it's my body, my choice. Nothing taught me the importance of that more strongly than having to fight for my life.

Entangled
September 27th, 2016, 06:01 PM
I..well... it's kinda weird, but as much as I myself want to keep my long hair and stuff, I kinda can still understand people who tells us we are kinda ''selfish''.

I DON'T WANNA START DRAMA HERE :flower:

It's just that, we are ''healthy'', we don't have like alopecia or cancer or other conditions that affects our hair, we are capable of growing it long, then regrowing it, then regrowing it, then again and again. And I totally agree that it would suck, it would suck so much, to have our hair be back at a much shorter length, and having to go all over again through the process of growing it aaaall the way until where we used to be. I agree, it would be quite uncomfortable.

But, also, some people are less lucky, they can't grow it again and again like us. And as much as it would suck to be back at a short length and having to grow again, they can't. We ''could'' sacrifice a few years of ''comfort'' so that unhealthy people can have this gift, instead of spending (maybe the rest of their lives) without any hair. Sure it would suck to lose length for a period of time, but these people can't even grow properly any... And here we are with our lucky capacity, not wanting to sacrifice just a bit even if we are healthy and capable of growing back.

I don't wanna sound mean
I really am part of the people who don't wanna cut my hair
I basically am calling my own self selfish
I'm really sorry if this offends anyone, this is not at all my goal
I just wanna understand your point of view

I sorta have the point of view I have now and I wanna understand exactly why I would be wrong

Because I feel I might be wrong
And I don't mean to offend anyone with my ''wrongness''
I just want people to explain why I could be wrong so that I can change of point of view and make more sense

I wanna know why really we aren't selfish for it
I know there could be a good explanation, but I can't find it in my head and I need to be explained

Thanks guys

Ultimately, it boils down to the fact that no one else has a right to your body but you. Certainly, keeping hair is more selfish than donating it, but plenty of things we do are selfish. We spend money on makeup instead of giving the money to charity. We choose to have TV. We buy cars. I don't know anyone who is as altruistic as they could be.

The fact that you are capable doesn't make you obligated to cut your hair for someone else, especially when we have the ability to make very realistic and comfortable synthetic wigs. Nobody needs you to cut your hair for them.

Crystawni
September 27th, 2016, 07:45 PM
Mmmmf. We shave, pluck and wax away hair and nobody bats an eye, but if it grows on your head it's fair game? I'm sooooo going to grow a beard to donate... Yeah, I know, not going to happen. But really? Society can be so demanding. Mmmmf again.

XiaoBaiTu
September 27th, 2016, 08:35 PM
Someone once brought this up to me, very respectfully, and that person had grown out and donated her hair twice before. She wasn't pushy, just wanted to know if I planned to donate mine since that's what she had always done with hers.

The interesting thing is, my hair type isn't even suitable for wigs. They don't use curly hair, it would be insane trying to match up all the different types and textures of curls to make a uniform wig. Moreover, curly hair clumps with itself, but only if the hairs are from the same region of the scalp. So even if you made a wig from curly hair, it would be a poofy frizzball. When they make curly wigs they use straight hair and perm it. So I at least have a really solid reason why I don't and won't donate my hair.

Horrorpops
September 27th, 2016, 08:41 PM
Wow!! I hadn't expected such a response! Such a great and respectful conversation has taken place while I've slept haha :o Apologies in advance for shortening some of the quotes for length but all of you have such interesting information and experiences I really wanted to respond individually!


Will check it out, but had to stop in and say horrorpops, your hair...:thud: Awww thank you! :o


I find it strange that this is such a touchy subject. Being asked to donate your hair must certainly be annoying but in the grand scheme of things, it's no big deal. It's not like they're asking for your kidney. I think it depends completely on the people and the context. I think it's different when you can tell it comes from a place of genuine curiosity vs entitled badgering. And some people may just have different levels of tolerance for those types of questions as well I suppose.

As for why it's not a fair question....

I completely agree with Dwemeri most donation places are inundated with hair they can't use and don't need. And as beautyklove pointed out in her video there are great ranges of synthetic hair wigs that some people prefer to use for reduced fuss with styling etc!


Because it's our body and we have the freedom to keep all of our body parts intact and that absolutely does not make us selfish that we want to keep our own hair that we grew on our own bodies..... It is selfish to ask someone else to give things away that they have worked for or expect them to give things away to others. I can't believe that people would try to force someone else to do something or to give something of theirs away. It's nobodys business as to what someone else does with their life, their money, their hair, their bodies, their time or anything else. :)

So, that is why we are not selfish for simply wanting to keep the hair that we grew.
Yes this is exactly my thoughts on the matter! :)

PixieP and DweamGoiL you've nailed how I feel about this topic, couldn't say it better myself! It reminds me of the same sort of entitlement that drives people telling other people they don't know they should smile more, 'you'd be prettier if you smiled' etc. It's not necessary, and it's generally unsolicite


Speaking as a former bald cancer patient, I will never donate my hair. I appreciate the efforts of those who do, but there are so many wigs out there to choose from, and maybe I was too sick and missed it, but they weren't being offered to me free of charge. Besides, I hated them. :P I loved the head scarf look though, and really wish I had felt well enough to enjoy the freedom of not having any hair.... Okay, so I am probably stirring up trouble here, but it's my body, my choice. Nothing taught me the importance of that more strongly than having to fight for my life.
Christine thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this, and I hope you're doing well! :o I can only imagine how an experience like that would make you value your hair, your body and your ability to make your own choices. A very powerful message!

Crystawni - so true!!

Thanks to all for contributing thus far it's been an interesting read for me! I love hearing everyone's thoughts and personal experiences, and it's fascinating how these differ!

TatsuOni
September 28th, 2016, 03:48 AM
Donating hair isn't a thing in Sweden, but if I ever where to hear this comment I would question why they asked fo my hair and not for me to sell my car and TV to donate money to people who are starving, since it's a worse problem than not having hair. Or why don't they ask for my blood? It can save lives!

Also, my boyfriend is bald (partly and shaves the rest) and he doesn't want my hair. He's actually happy to not have hair! He want my hair to get long since he think that it's beautiful and know that I want it.

I would be terrified if I lost my hair, but I wouldn't demand anyone to cut of their hair and give it to me. I would take my own money to buy synthetic wigs, since they can look really natural, are cheaper and easier to care for. That way I could have wigs in different lenghts and colors too if I wanted.

For thoose who want to have a wig from real hair and can't afford it. It's great that some people donate their hair! But not because they're obligated to do it, but because they want too and have no problem cutting of their hair.

Mimha
September 28th, 2016, 05:16 AM
I..well... it's kinda weird, but as much as I myself want to keep my long hair and stuff, I kinda can still understand people who tells us we are kinda ''selfish''.

I DON'T WANNA START DRAMA HERE :flower:

It's just that, we are ''healthy'', we don't have like alopecia or cancer or other conditions that affects our hair, we are capable of growing it long, then regrowing it, then regrowing it, then again and again. And I totally agree that it would suck, it would suck so much, to have our hair be back at a much shorter length, and having to go all over again through the process of growing it aaaall the way until where we used to be. I agree, it would be quite uncomfortable.

But, also, some people are less lucky, they can't grow it again and again like us. And as much as it would suck to be back at a short length and having to grow again, they can't. We ''could'' sacrifice a few years of ''comfort'' so that unhealthy people can have this gift, instead of spending (maybe the rest of their lives) without any hair. Sure it would suck to lose length for a period of time, but these people can't even grow properly any... And here we are with our lucky capacity, not wanting to sacrifice just a bit even if we are healthy and capable of growing back.

I don't wanna sound mean
I really am part of the people who don't wanna cut my hair
I basically am calling my own self selfish
I'm really sorry if this offends anyone, this is not at all my goal
I just wanna understand your point of view

I sorta have the point of view I have now and I wanna understand exactly why I would be wrong

Because I feel I might be wrong
And I don't mean to offend anyone with my ''wrongness''
I just want people to explain why I could be wrong so that I can change of point of view and make more sense

I wanna know why really we aren't selfish for it
I know there could be a good explanation, but I can't find it in my head and I need to be explained

Thanks guys

Hi CreatureBailey ! :)

I don't think you are "wrong". You are just human and feel bad enjoying what you have when others don't have the same. It's all the more difficult to live for very generous people because they feel that "hair can grow back anyway". So why keep it all for themselves ?...

Well... to give you my point of view, I would say that hair is not so much different from many other things we have and that some unfortunate people can't have. For example, I could not have children. As frustrated and desperate as I could have been during a part of my life because of this situation, and how sad I was to see that others enjoyed many children (that sometimes they would not even care for), this was not a reason for me to make these people feel guilty about having a big family just because I couldn't have one myself. Or harrass random women in the streets for ovulae donation. Not being able to have kids was MY problem, as frustrating as it could have been. I knew I had no right to make the others feel guilty about a situation that was nor my choice neither their fault. In the same time, I was not thinking about the people who would have killed to have my hair :laugh:. Life is unfair.

Haven't you noticed ? The people who harrass women in the streets for hair donation ARE NOT the ones who need the wigs. They are the ones who don't bother growing their own hair long and virgin to donate, because (insert all good and bad reasons here). Well, all this to say that feeling guilty about it is pointless. I would even say : pointless and dangerous : guilt feeling is a powerful trigger for all manipulative behaviour against you by envious and mean persons.

If you are a good and generous person, you can be good and generous in many ways without having to deprive yourself from your own hair. You can give your blood, you can give your money, you can give your time. And if you still have doubts about it, you should maybe consider building some self-confidence in what people are not allowed to tell you. Request somebody (especially an unknown person in the street) to give away some private belongings is not an acceptable behaviour. For me, it's not far from being a kind of psychological racketting. Even if the request comes form a supposed good intention, it's intrusive and displaced. These people have to mind their own business... and hair.

missmelaniem
September 28th, 2016, 10:59 PM
Simply because it is my body, and I will not be bullied or pressured into doing something with it that I am not comfortable with, regardless of what it is. My hair is a part of me, it's part of my identity, my daily life, my routines. I could give away everything I own because there are others who need it more than me, but I won't. That's selfish, and I'm ok with that. No-one can live their entire life sacrificing every single thing because there are others who need it more. That's not living.

This, but its really not any more selfish than any other choice one would make about their own life. If my hair gets long enough and someone asks me, I'll just tell them if they want hair donated that they can grow theirs long and donate it. it sounds snarky, but I really dont get why people would even ask this kind of question.

Greenfire
September 28th, 2016, 11:42 PM
I think if I were to cut my hair at some point, I'd sell the hair myself and make a donation to a charity of my choice. There have been too many questions of how they pick recipients, and how much they charge them for the wigs. (no, for most patients they aren't free, and often they don't even consider cancer patients because the idea is that they will eventually grow their hair back) They also sell a lot more hair than they make into wigs to "donate." Plus, I now have a few greys so my hair isn't allowed anymore anyway.

But for someone to try to say I'm selfish for not donating my hair? Ugh yeah, are people who eat too much selfish because people are starving elsewhere? Is it selfish to live in a house while there are homeless? Is it selfish to have hair at all while there are people out there without? Why don't we all shave our heads in solidarity and do away with wigs entirely, that would be far more equitable no? Should those who can afford university decide not to go because others aren't privileged? Should women decide not to have children because some women can't?

The moment someone tries to run your life because someone else doesn't have what you have, is the moment they need to put up or shut up. It's not their property to decide what happens to it. If you spend the time and take care of your hair, and it grows, why should someone feel it's right to shame you for it? Do they shame you for exercising and eating well, when some people don't, or can't? Do they shame you for washing your clothing when someone else may have spilled coffee on theirs or somehow else soiled it? Do they shame you for having a car, or taking a vacation when there are others who don't?

I have hair, I have the ability to grow hair. I will not be shamed for this, simply because someone else isn't as privileged. I will not be shamed for something that is NATURAL and not hurtful to others. Now if I somehow had control of all the hair, synthetic or otherwise, all in existence on the planet, and wouldn't share, then yeah, call me selfish, but I'm not the only person with hair on their head, and synthetic hair exists too.

I think it's selfish of other's to even consider trying to shame someone for not donating, who the heck are they...

truepeacenik
September 29th, 2016, 12:48 AM
Funny, the donation issue boils down to a major political opinion of mine: my body, my choice.

I do get the curiosity. When television media focuses on long hair it is a makeover (chopping, saying hair has no intrinsic value), the Freakish and Vaguely Creepy Rapunzel Story, or the Selfless Donor Story.
I wrote about donation twice in my decade reporting. Once for Wigs 4 Kids, an actual cancer charity; and once for St Baldrick's, where it seemed more like a 5K in that you get sponsors for your cut or shave.

So, when they see us in the wild, sporting long hair that grew from our own heads, it's "weird" to them. And people try to normalize weird, so they go straight to the Selfless Donor, and if that isn't you? Well, you made a fool of them, and they do get huffy.
Pointing out that LOL isn't a cancer charity, that their admin costs use an astounding percentage of the budget, that synthetic wigs are simpler for kids and some adults, that your hair isn't suitable for donation, whatever, is met with nothing, as if you said nothing.
It's uncanny. And it's weird, and I cannot normalize it completely.
So we develop potentially snarky answers, like nice kidney. Donating it?

Crystawni
September 29th, 2016, 01:10 AM
:scissors:

Honestly though it's something I almost never hear outside of the LHC or in any more mainstream kind of media so I thought it's pretty cool of her to actually stand up and say something. I found it very refreshing and thought some of you might enjoy it as much as I did.

I know I've already commented upthread, but personally I've never come across this kind of (hair donation) harassment here in Australia, and neither has anyone I've mentioned it to who live all over this country. It leaves us a tad befuddled to be honest. It's just not on, and anyone who'd stick their nose into my, um, coif may end up with an accidental whipping of my braid tassel. :wigtongue

Sarahlabyrinth
September 29th, 2016, 01:50 AM
No-one ever mentions donating hair here either, and I'm glad. I will happily donate blood, or money, but hair? No.

Artificial wigs are generally cheaper and easier to look after than human hair wigs anyway.

blondecat
September 29th, 2016, 05:15 AM
I've never heard of anyone getting those kind of comments here in Sweden, or Scandinavia at all for that matter. I guess donating hair isn't really a thing here. :P

However, many people on this board seem to get those comments, so I think it's good that a well-known youtuber talks about it. :o

I don't get these comments either, here in Australia. now a few times ive been told i'm too old for m hair :p but at the moment it's only BSL* and my only reply is to look at them like the have 3 heads
* had thigh length but had to cut due to frozen shoulder. just couldn't take care of it

vampyyri
September 29th, 2016, 09:53 AM
I think if I were to cut my hair at some point, I'd sell the hair myself and make a donation to a charity of my choice. There have been too many questions of how they pick recipients, and how much they charge them for the wigs. (no, for most patients they aren't free, and often they don't even consider cancer patients because the idea is that they will eventually grow their hair back) They also sell a lot more hair than they make into wigs to "donate." Plus, I now have a few greys so my hair isn't allowed anymore anyway.

But for someone to try to say I'm selfish for not donating my hair? Ugh yeah, are people who eat too much selfish because people are starving elsewhere? Is it selfish to live in a house while there are homeless? Is it selfish to have hair at all while there are people out there without? Why don't we all shave our heads in solidarity and do away with wigs entirely, that would be far more equitable no? Should those who can afford university decide not to go because others aren't privileged? Should women decide not to have children because some women can't?

The moment someone tries to run your life because someone else doesn't have what you have, is the moment they need to put up or shut up. It's not their property to decide what happens to it. If you spend the time and take care of your hair, and it grows, why should someone feel it's right to shame you for it? Do they shame you for exercising and eating well, when some people don't, or can't? Do they shame you for washing your clothing when someone else may have spilled coffee on theirs or somehow else soiled it? Do they shame you for having a car, or taking a vacation when there are others who don't?

I have hair, I have the ability to grow hair. I will not be shamed for this, simply because someone else isn't as privileged. I will not be shamed for something that is NATURAL and not hurtful to others. Now if I somehow had control of all the hair, synthetic or otherwise, all in existence on the planet, and wouldn't share, then yeah, call me selfish, but I'm not the only person with hair on their head, and synthetic hair exists too.

I think it's selfish of other's to even consider trying to shame someone for not donating, who the heck are they...

This, exactly this.

If someone actually came up to me and asked me to donate my hair, I think I would flip a you-know-what. How dare someone ask me to get rid of something just because I have it? I donate to the Prevent Cancer Foundation and Doctors without Borders regularly, I also give blood when I can, and I think that is more than enough in my book. I highly doubt these people even do this much.

It would be the ultimate insult to me as well since my mother passed from cancer. And guess what?? She preferred synthetic wigs!

Kimberly
September 30th, 2016, 07:38 AM
I had an a-hole or two pressuring me about this crap while I actually had cancer myself, along with other jerks who felt it appropriate to nag and hassle and attempt to shame me into donating money to Relay for Life. I shouldn't have to trot out my medical history to get them to shut up and bug off, especially when they're spewing a bunch of guilt-inducing statements in order to try to wring out a donation ... for years, even the sight of a RFL logo triggered my cancer-caused PTSD. Too many people don't even consider that the person they are hassling might have cancer themselves or might be a survivor. Some freakin' turd on my phone or in a random mall making someone with cancer feel like crap when they are allegedly doing it to help cancer sufferers really makes me angry, especially when I have tried to politely say no. It makes me think they aren't doing it because they care about other people, or they would be more mindful of their behavior. While I am sure there are well-meaning people seeking donations, there are also a lot of unmindful, rude, self-glorifying clods who are trying to manufacture self esteem for themselves or some darn thing.

You want to help people with cancer? Offer to drive them to their appointment, or to help with housework. I needed those things a lot more than I needed someone's hair, or even their money.

Edit to add that I think people who were getting a haircut anyway and then act like they're heroic for donating it and everyone else now should get a cut and donate deserve to get bedbugs.

Grr. Rant over, and I'll shaddup now.

Shiranshoku
September 30th, 2016, 09:31 AM
What's a YT "preroll"?

A short ad before the start of a video, sorry for missing your question!

ravenreed
September 30th, 2016, 04:15 PM
You know I have never in my life been asked this by anyone, I guess it's just different for some cultures aye.

I haven't either, and I have lived in two very different places here in the U.S. If someone were to suggest it to me, all I would have to say is that a) I have too much grey in my hair AND it's dyed, so they can't use it at all, and b) if I am going to donate parts of me, I would rather continue to give blood. "Oh, and have you given the gift of life yourself recently by donating blood? I am up to a gallon."

lapushka
September 30th, 2016, 04:33 PM
A short ad before the start of a video, sorry for missing your question!

Oh, never would have guessed in a million years - thanks for answering! :)

Xena1975
October 1st, 2016, 05:44 PM
I had an a-hole or two pressuring me about this crap while I actually had cancer myself, along with other jerks who felt it appropriate to nag and hassle and attempt to shame me into donating money to Relay for Life. I shouldn't have to trot out my medical history to get them to shut up and bug off, especially when they're spewing a bunch of guilt-inducing statements in order to try to wring out a donation ... for years, even the sight of a RFL logo triggered my cancer-caused PTSD. Too many people don't even consider that the person they are hassling might have cancer themselves or might be a survivor. Some freakin' turd on my phone or in a random mall making someone with cancer feel like crap when they are allegedly doing it to help cancer sufferers really makes me angry, especially when I have tried to politely say no. It makes me think they aren't doing it because they care about other people, or they would be more mindful of their behavior. While I am sure there are well-meaning people seeking donations, there are also a lot of unmindful, rude, self-glorifying clods who are trying to manufacture self esteem for themselves or some darn thing.

You want to help people with cancer? Offer to drive them to their appointment, or to help with housework. I needed those things a lot more than I needed someone's hair, or even their money.

Edit to add that I think people who were getting a haircut anyway and then act like they're heroic for donating it and everyone else now should get a cut and donate deserve to get bedbugs.

Grr. Rant over, and I'll shaddup now.

I think I only had one person come right out and tell me that I should donate my hair. I've had a few over the years saying I should donate rather than throw it away if I ever decide to cut it.

4 years ago I did have cancer and was lucky enough to have treatment that didn't make my hair fall out so if anyone does try to tell me I should donate my hair I'm going off on them. I think I'm starting to get too many gray hairs for anyone to take it as a donation anyways.

Entangled
October 1st, 2016, 11:45 PM
I've been lucky enough that all of my 'donating' interactions have been conversations, with no pressuring or insistence that I cut.

Arete
October 2nd, 2016, 07:07 AM
I've only had one person tell me I was "selfish" for not donating my hair in the one time I interacted with her. The usual first question I get when somebody sees my hair down for the first time is "are you going to donate it?" It's usually just out od curiousity/a lot of folks assume that's the reason people grow their hair long. Some people don't get it (like my grandma) when I tell them I just enjoy long hair, but most folks seem cool with it and/or tell me they like my hair. I played a trick on FB where I tucked my hair into my shirt and managed to fool a lot of people. There were actually lots of "you look cute short, but I'm going to miss your hair" type comments. I guess it depends on your lication/circle of associates of long hair is accepted or not? I hang out with the theatre/flow Arts crowd, so long hair isn't unusual in my circle.