PDA

View Full Version : What does her hair want?



The Ubiquitous
September 17th, 2016, 05:53 PM
Advice appreciated please. Sorry in advance for the long post - I've tried to be brief, honest!
My almost 6 year old has completely different hair to me and I'm at a loss on how to manage it! I've tried researching but I'm confused!
It is the equivalent of bsl (seems wrong describing it that way!). It's blonde, fine as in strand thickness and the amount (although her pony circumference feels like it's getting thicker). It's very straight and very delicate. It tangles if you look at it wrong. Conversely, it slides out of hair ties/clips etc. Trying to plait it etc is a nightmare because it sort of sticks to itself. So it ends up in a ponytail most days which I think is causing friction damage as its always in the same place. I try to be delecate and use suitable bobbles. Lower ponytails etc just mean her hair slides out at the front and tangles.
It grows very slowly eg she started growing her fringe out maybe 3 years ago and it will only now just about go into a high pony. Minimal trims are every few months because they are absolutely necessary.
It is horrible after washing - it sort of clumps and stretches and is so delicate. The only brush she'll let me use is a tangle teeze but even then I need to go s-l-o-w-l-y
or handfuls come out.
If it was up to me, I'd just keep it all in a shoulder length bob (with a fringe! She looks so sweet with a fringe!) but she wants it long and it's her hair so...
Very rare use of heat and when I do its just a hairdrier to get it about 80% dry. I can't remember when I did it last.
I must use conditioner on it. We always use the same conditioner (which has wheat in it so I think it's protein?). Sometimes I use it as a leave in conditioner.
Oiling makes no difference to it, other than needing more shampoo which makes it angry.
Sometimes I use a bit of oil in dry hair to give it a little slip.
I've tried lots of different shampoos but they make little difference.
I try to wash it a maximum of 2 times a week but y'know she's 6 and likes dirt so...
Very hard water and no way of changing that.
We dont/won't use cones (or sls).
Does it sound like she needs protein on it? Would sorting a different shampoo be the best starting point? Am I just missing something?
If you've made it this far - thank you!

animetor7
September 17th, 2016, 06:08 PM
Texture-wise this sounds exactly like my hair as a child. For the tangles I'd get a coney serum, cones make a world of difference with fine, tangle prone hair. You'll have to experiment a bit to see which type her hair likes. I'd suggest starting with a very lightweight one. I'd also recommend mixing up some water and conditioner in a spray bottle and using that to help detangle. As for updos, bobby pins and claw clips are going to work much better than just trying to use a ponytail or a hairstick. I also would recommend either braiding beforehand or doing knot buns to give the clips/pins something to hold onto. I have to go at the moment, but if you have questions feel free to pm me or respond here and I'll keep an eye on this thread.

Good luck and kudos for helping her have the hair she wants to have!!! :)

Obsidian
September 17th, 2016, 06:31 PM
First thing I though was a good deep clarifying and chelating wash and then some cones but since you won't use them or sls, I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes our hair simply needs the things we really don't want to use.

Shiranshoku
September 18th, 2016, 07:00 AM
I'd try another conditioner. And I do think cones might be better for the tangles.

Regarding the protein, iirc too much protein can cause stretchiness, so you might not want to add even more protein to your haircare routine.

lapushka
September 18th, 2016, 07:08 AM
I'd try another conditioner. And I do think cones might be better for the tangles.

Regarding the protein, iirc too much protein can cause stretchiness, so you might not want to add even more protein to your haircare routine.

I definitely agree with that! :agree:

I'd start over, clarify-wash and would use a good conditioner!

Why no silicones? It may be just what her hair needs. There's no use incurring mechanical damage when you absolutely don't have to, when there's good products out there that help you combat that.

HairPlease
September 18th, 2016, 07:11 AM
You should try something with silicones. I know you said you don't want to, but I must stress, there is nothing "bad" or "wrong" about using cones. They'll help put some of the slip back in her hair, but not the bad kind, believe me!

Anje
September 18th, 2016, 09:52 AM
I'd try another conditioner. And I do think cones might be better for the tangles.

Regarding the protein, iirc too much protein can cause stretchiness, so you might not want to add even more protein to your haircare routine.

Other way around -- hair that needs protein gets stretchy. I would look for a conditioner with protein in it, and possibly silicones too. (Keep a no protein conditioner around in case her hair starts to get stiff or rough, and rotate as needed, clarifying occasionally.)

The Ubiquitous
September 18th, 2016, 10:14 AM
Thank you everyone.
Cones are a no no. I do understand what you are saying about them but it's not something I'm willing to use for various reasons. :)
I will clarify and look into a protein conditioners.
What is the clarification for; just to "reset" it?
I spent about 15 years with hair that made me miserable and would hurt brushing etc. I just want to limit that for her.

Shiranshoku
September 18th, 2016, 10:31 AM
Other way around -- hair that needs protein gets stretchy. I would look for a conditioner with protein in it, and possibly silicones too. (Keep a no protein conditioner around in case her hair starts to get stiff or rough, and rotate as needed, clarifying occasionally.)
I tend to switch those around, thx for the correction!

Apolli
September 18th, 2016, 10:37 AM
Thank you everyone.
Cones are a no no. I do understand what you are saying about them but it's not something I'm willing to use for various reasons. :)
I will clarify and look into a protein conditioners.
What is the clarification for; just to "reset" it?
I spent about 15 years with hair that made me miserable and would hurt brushing etc. I just want to limit that for her.

Clarifying pretty much strips the hair of any coating that's on it (silicones, shea butter buildup etc...). It does in fact 'reset' the hair that way :) I should mention that clarifying shampoos can be a bit heavy duty and her hair my need some extra moisture and gentle treatment after clarifying. My hair is particularly prone to dryness so I often need a week or so for it to calm down after clarifying.
Another thing to look into is if her hair needs chelating, if you have hard water that may cause mineral buildup.
Also regarding your initial post, that conditioner with wheat may indeed contain protein but if it is not list in the top half of the ingredients list then it's probably not in any significant amount (or at least enough for her hair as you reported that her hair is stretchy). You might also try and look for silicone alternatives if you don't want to use silicones at all. I wish I could recommend any but I don't think I know much in that department :(

enting
September 19th, 2016, 05:42 AM
You mentioned that you have hard water. What about using vinegar, lemon juice, or citric acid rinses? Vinegar rinses gave my tangles-if-you-look-at-it hair a lot more slip and ease of combing. It helps me with comb-ability even more than almost any conditioner I've ever used, and it doesn't involve any cones at all.

OhSuzi
September 19th, 2016, 07:53 AM
I know nothing about what is best to wash kids hair with - but with regards to how to put it up there are loads of sites on etsy with baby / childrens hair accessories that are the right size for kids heads and hair friendly - like hair bands made of soft jersey cotton with no seems so they dont damage the hair / get uncomfortable maybe just experiment with some of these to put her long hair in. E.g. wear a nice soft head band and then tuck / wrap the hair around it - so it's effectively up?

https://www.etsy.com/shop/LilimouseDesigns

ravenheather
September 20th, 2016, 07:00 AM
Kinky curly knot today is a great lightweight leave in/detangler. I have used it a bunch on my long fine haired daughter's.