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View Full Version : I give up! My hair is permanently dry!



goldenwaves
October 20th, 2008, 02:24 AM
Conditioning doesn't work, vinegar doesn't, bi-carb soda doesn't, oil doesn't, leave-ins sort of do but cost too much and waste resources.

It's very wavy/slightly curly, so it feels disgusting unless I brush it. When I brush it it's only good when it's a bit oilier (ie. DD 2 or 3), otherwise it's complete fuzz!!

I've been trying so hard to make it better and I'm starting to lose heart! Anyone else in a similar boat? Suggestions? Thanks!

manderly
October 20th, 2008, 02:30 AM
How are you using your oil and how much are you using?

goldenwaves
October 20th, 2008, 02:39 AM
I've tried both olive oil and almond oil. I put some (a 50-cent coin, a large coin, sized amount) on the palm of my hand and rub my palms together, then run it through my very damp hair. :)

Missie
October 20th, 2008, 03:16 AM
for what its worth, I'm using 3 drops of camelia/almond oil in my hair from the ears down after its dabbed dry with towel following washing and conditioning. This makes it feels soft and silky......
but, if I don't use oil and conditioner my hair is stick dry too.

Katze
October 20th, 2008, 03:56 AM
could it be build up? Do you wash with sulfate-containing shampoos? that might help clean off the gunk that *could* be making your hair feel dryer...mine gets very dull if I go too long between shampooings...

my BF has similar hair as yours and the best thing he has found is Burt's Bees avocado treatment as a leave-in. he only needs a tiny bit, but it tames that wild, frizzled, dry, poofy look well. It isn't wasteful, at all, and since I can not convince him to use conditioner or teach him when to use it, it is a nice low maintenance solution to the problem.

alinakathryn
October 20th, 2008, 04:31 AM
Too much oil can make the ends crunchy. I read that here on the board but couldn't begin to find it. Have you had a chance to try coconut oil? Also, Have you tried COing? COing usually uses the cheap stuff. What about SMTs?

You sound so frustrated. Consider yourself hugged :pumpkin:

Melisande
October 20th, 2008, 04:34 AM
I have dry hair, dry scalp, dry skin, dry lips. I mist it, bun it, put sheabutter balsam on my ends. I never brush, once a day comb - but I'm a 1b so I don't know how your hair would look unbrushed.

For everyday use, I put some drops of camellia oil in distilled water and mist my hair with it. I have to shake really well before but this is the method my hair likes oil best. Before washes, I deep-oil (usually with olive oil which has great effect on my hair and skin) but I'm not fit to be seen with an oily head. So for everyday use, I use the mister. You may like to add aloe vera gel to the mix.

My hair needs moisture, so I add honey to my conditioner. This is supposed to help, I didn't do it often enough to judge for myself. Another thing you might like to try is cocaloe - coconut oil mixed with aloe vera gel. Gives moisture AND oil. For me, it's too oily, but you might have better luck.

Don't give up. This is your hair, you'll have to deal with it anyway.

Longlove
October 20th, 2008, 04:38 AM
Goldenwaves.

If it makes you feel any better, I've been going through a really bad dry-hair phase lately. I live in the U.S. Southwest where we have almost NO humidity. And even though I don't even own any heated hair appliances, the dryness has gotten so bad that I've had trouble getting a wide-toothed comb through my 1a hair! Can't remember the last time that happened...

Anyway, I just bought some Biolage Conditioning Balm (no cones). I used a clarifying shampoo Saturday, and then immediately coated my hair with the stuff and left it on overnight. My hair felt more moisturized the next day and shined (!), but was still somewhat dry.

So this past evening I just rinsed my hair and applied more of the stuff. I'm actually typing this with my Biolage-coated hair up in a bun....and a plastic baggie covering the whole thing!

There's no stopping me now!!! This stuff is staying in until I have lovely moisturized hair. I'm tired of this hair being a fire-hazzard.


Also, as I recall oils seal in moisture rather than moisturize on their own. That's why we're always told to apply oils to our still-damp bodies right after showering... to seal in the moisture our skin has already absorbed.

peachy.pudding
October 20th, 2008, 04:44 AM
My daughter has the same hair type as you and it needs 3 times the attention that my stick straight hair does. Firstly don't give up it can look and feel soft. I would try using leave in conditioner lots and lots, no matter how silly you look, use it for a week very heavily, even at night after that apply only a little bit after wash days. Have a trim if you have damage from heat or dye and some good s&d. You need a leave in 24hours at first use a good thick one like Aussie 3MM then just use a normal conditioner and put in you hair when damp. Condition, condition and condition and don't get lazy with it.

GlassEyes
October 20th, 2008, 04:48 AM
Since your hair IS borderline curly, maybe try givingup the brush for a while?

Maybe clarifying might work, but there could be another culprit. Have you cheked your hair products and suchfor protein? Often times it can make hair feel crunchy and be a large pain in the rear; just ask Kirin. If there's anything like 'silk amino acids', 'silk extract', 'wheat protein', etc etc, your hair might be suffering from protein overload.

Heidi_234
October 20th, 2008, 04:54 AM
We are somewhat of a hair type twins. Your hair looks to me just like mine, if it was blond (well it might not show that in the pictures I have in my profile though, but I swear I have same hair as you. I looked at your picture and I could feel the oh-so-familiar texture!). And I feel for you, since I know very well what it is to take care after this hair.
I constantly feel that my hair is dry, or coarse, or brittle, or damaged, or anything but healthy and soft. Very frustrating. I know. I also know that I been treating it well enough so it shouldn't be this way. I'm constantly moaning about it myself, but what can I say to you? Maybe it's just the way it is.
Unlike you, I avoid brushing and combing, because of all the frizz it makes (among other reasons). I prefer the hair to form in it's natural sort-of-curls, this way it's not frizzy and ugly. What I also like to do is a rope "braid" after I shower, and air dry it this way. When it's dried it forms into barrel curls, like the ones in my profile pic, usually even better looking ones.
About the dryness, after joining LHC I brought an oil mix. I feel my hair is much better when I apply it daily. Just a little bit, two drops at most, on each side, from the temples to the ends. I feel the improvement!
Also, last time I hennaed I rinsed it out using egg yolk shampoo (which is basically egg yolk, some water and a tablespoon of olive oil), and unlike all the other times when I rinsed henna out using water only, my hair felt softer. Not a drop a conditioner here. I don't shampoo like this all the time, but you might find this helpful.

jivete
October 20th, 2008, 07:17 AM
My hair tends to be very dry as well. I found using a tiny bit of my normal conditioner (generic biolage conditoning balm) as a leave-in works great. It still will feel dry later and I'll have to mist (Kimberly's de-frizz) or use a tiny bit of camellia oil, but without the leave-in it never feels soft.

I don't feel it's expensive or wasteful. The generic conditioner costs about $6 and I only use a fingernail sized amount whenever I wash.

Anje
October 20th, 2008, 07:49 AM
I'm going to be another who asks whether you've clarified lately. If you've got buildup, nothing seems to moisturize hair. I'd recommend clarifying with a sulfate shampoo made for the task, and shampoo all the way to the ends. (None of the baking soda for my hair... now that's drying!)

How does your hair react to SMTs? If it doesn't go nuts, I'd follow clarifying with a long soak (maybe 2 hours) in SMT mix, then rinse it out.

I'd also recommend that you try the recipe for Fox's Shea butter conditioning cream. I find it much more effective in moisturizing than oils or straight shea butter (which makes my hair sticky).

ETA: I don't know how dry Melbourne is, but if the weather's been dry lately, you might also get some help if you mist your hair a few times per day.

spidermom
October 20th, 2008, 07:55 AM
Keep the bicarb away from your hair. It is drying to the extreme.

My hair used to dry out badly but discovering CWC as a washing method with diluted shampoo has really helped to turn that around. I leave a kidney-bean size squirt of my regular conditioner in my hair after washing. I also use a small amount of coconut oil (about a dime size) on clean damp hair, with a generous oiling the day before I plan to wash.

I like brushing, too; it feels good. But I don't do it until my scalp area starts getting oily.

justgreen
October 20th, 2008, 08:09 AM
I tried everything, all of the above and the thing that saved me from dryness....Using CWC to wash, using diluted shampoo on the scalp only, and spritzing EVERYDAY, sometimes twice a day , especially through winter season, with my home made spritzer. Everyones spritzer is formulated to their hair. Mine is:

4 ounces distilled water
3-4 drops of sweet orange EO
3-4 drops jojoba oil

Shaken well before use.

I also keep my ends wet when air drying or using a low setting on blow dryer. I mist them at least twice after combing out.

I mist the ends and use a pea sized amount of conditioner when bunning.

I also have a leave-in solution made just for the length and ends, ALWAYS when using the blowdryer:

1 ounce Lanza Leave-in
3 ounces distilled water
2-3 drops jojoba oil

Shake well before use.

I don't add eo's to this one because I LOVE the smell the Lanza leaves in my hair.

Tapioca
October 20th, 2008, 08:27 AM
Cassia helped a great deal towards helping my hair hang on to moisture. I add a bit of henna (because I like being a strawberry blonde), but cassia alone does a great job and won't impart color to anything but white or very very pale blonde hair.

DarkChocolate
October 20th, 2008, 10:40 AM
Hi:)

I used olive oil for a few months and found that it dried my hair and made my ends crunchy. I have found that putting a dime size amount of coconut and jojoba oil on my damp hair has made a significant difference in how my hair feels and looks. I don't get crunchy or dry ends any more. I have gleaned so many ideas from this wonderful community and found that putting oil on damp hair seals in the moisture and thus doesn't lead to hair being crunchy. Sometimes certain oils don't work for someones hair. Maybe you can try another oil.

You don't necessarily have to buy a separate conditioner to use as a leave-in. Sometimes I put a dime-size amount of my regular conditioner, Burt's bees Brazil Nut Raspberry conditioner, on my damp hair and let it dry. It doesn't come out greasy or sticky. My hair feels very soft and is not crunchy.

I have also read that there is a balance of protein and moisture needed to maintain healthy hair. I have started doing egg yolk treatments. I wet my hair then spread the egg yolk all over my hair, leave it in for about ten minutes,shampoo it out and condition. I then put a dime sized amount of coconut oil on my damp hair to seal the moisture.

chrissy-b
October 20th, 2008, 12:51 PM
Everyone has given such great advice already, but I wanted to add something no one else has mentioned. You say that your hair is better, less frizzy on DD 2 or 3? Maybe you would benefit from trying WO for a while.

My ends have old dye damage and I've had luck with CO washes (though not long term), to bring moisture back. I also never go without some sort of leave-in (until recently, more on that below). I just tried emu oil (yes, it's harvested from emus, so if your veg this wouldn't be an option) but it has made my hair so soft. I used it three days ago and still haven't had to mist my ends or use a leave-in which is virtually impossible for me most days. I don't know what the long term effect of this oil will be, but it has really done wonders for my hair thus far.

BlndeInDisguise
October 20th, 2008, 12:56 PM
Something that has helped me is scalp only washes. I don't think my hair likes water all that well (we do have soft water), and every time I would wash my hair, even though I never actually put shampoo on the ends and would glob it up with conditioner, it always felt dry and tangly afterwards. I've started only getting all of my hair wet once a week (instead of every other day) and combing the oil that is left on the back of my head (I have my hair in a bun to wash the scalp part, and obviously, my bun is pretty big, so I can't get all of the scalp part of my hair washed) down through the rest of my hair.

ETA: Of course, I mean my HAIR bun is pretty big :o:D

mimi1153
October 20th, 2008, 01:41 PM
I used Jojoba Oil - - but that didn't quite seem to take care of the problem - - I have since tried Real Solutions Moisture Recovery, Intense Leave-In Conditioner. My hair LOVES it. I can tell the biggest difference in my hair. It lays so much better and doesn't have that brittle, dry feeling. It feels so much better. Before it was very "wild looking" the last 10-12 inches or so. Within 2-3 uses of this conditioner my ends were completely changed. My husband even noticed the difference. Now I use this regularly after each shampooo and my problem seems to be gone. :happydance: Give it a try, maybe it will help you also. :D

Medvssa
October 20th, 2008, 01:56 PM
Everyone's hair is different, so you are gonna have to find out what works for you.

My hair is extremely dry (so is everything else: scalp, skin, eyes, etc), and very curly to top it off. Keeping my hair moisturized and soft is very high maintenance, and I have to use a lot of products (heavy conditioners, treatments, sprays, leave ins... all of them). For some of us, there is no other way. The hair just won't keep the moisture.
So... I put it up, and put up with the dryness. I have more or less nice hair for a couple of days after a wash, then up it goes. Right now I do not have the time or dedication to spend in having nice hair everyday :shrug: it's there, and it doesn't fall off to pieces with my current routine... some sorts of hair are just very high maintenance if you want to show it off all the time.

Ugh, sounds like I have given up, no? :tongue:

lora410
October 20th, 2008, 02:13 PM
Have you tried claifying or trying no- cones? Also it could just be your water. ever since I put a shower filter on my showerhead my hair has improved 10 fold.

MandaMom2Three
October 20th, 2008, 07:48 PM
*wildly taking notes*

Deborah
October 20th, 2008, 07:54 PM
goldenwaves,

How often do you wash your hair? I have noticed on this forum that some ladies are surprised with dry hair when they are simply washing too often. Just a thought. I don't know if you CO wash, but that can help a person avoid dryness as well.

I hope you find a happy solution soon. :flower:

Tangles
October 20th, 2008, 08:50 PM
Didn't have time to read through this whole thread, but wanted to add, that some people need to shampoo every time they wash (and then condition extra well). Sometimes, dirty hair is, or seems, drier.

Speedbump
October 20th, 2008, 11:41 PM
You have gotten excellent advice here, but I wanted to add one more detail: If you have highly chlorinated water, that can make your hair and scalp very dry and feel rough. My town puts so much @#$% chlorine in the water it smells like a swimming pool. I have a chlorine filter on my shower and not only is my hair softer and my scalp less dry, but my shedding is always far less as well. In fact, that's how I know it's time to change the filter: My shed rate doubles or even triples almost overnight and everything itches.

So anyway, a second vote for a water filter. Your water has a *tremendous* effect on the quality of your hair, no matter what else you do to it.

Gypsy
October 21st, 2008, 01:54 AM
How is your actual water intake?
How much water do you drink?
If you aren't properly hydrating your body (and hair) nothing is going to fix the dryness, just cover it for a day or two.
My water intake is awful, personally, but I try to remember to get in more and more- then usually forget and of course my hair seems less dry then it goes crispy again, lol!
I genreally never make the connection of my water intake and the condition of my hair because, of course, it's not immediate and I'm so bad at keeping at it that the benefits are short lived.

sandrak
October 21st, 2008, 03:36 AM
The only thing that has helped my dry damaged hair is Emu Oil Conditioner. It is cone free and very moisturizing.

Vijikanth
October 21st, 2008, 11:59 AM
I always have head bath and after mild towelling of my hair, apply little coconut oil. So the hair looks cool and shiny and not at all dry.

Áine
October 21st, 2008, 12:05 PM
Our drinking water has such high salinity that we always have leftover residue on anything it touches. I have taken to using distilled or bottled water bought in jugs from the store. It has made a world of difference on my hair. No buildup. Very little shampoo needed and it lathers great. My conditioner works extra well. When I gloss with extra virgin olive oil in the middle of the week, it does not get hard and crusty. I highly recommend it.

I went through a similar hair crisis, where everything I tried failed. My hair was crunchy and breaking off and splitting. It was horrendous. And then I read a post here about a year ago by a member who suggested giving your hair a treat by washing in bottled water. It has worked well for me so far, and I haven't turned back.

catfish
October 21st, 2008, 12:15 PM
Oh, Goldenwaves, I feel your pain:o

I'm hoping to find a solution to the very same problem.
Here's hoping that you find something that works:flower:

spidermom
October 21st, 2008, 12:19 PM
P.S. - It must be a personal preference thing, as it seems to me that wavy/curly hair behaves better when it is not brushed. I brush mine before washing to spread the sebum and get the shed hairs out, also because it feels good to me, but I don't brush it after washing because I want to hold onto that curl/wave as long as possible.

Honey39
October 21st, 2008, 02:15 PM
I've just bought Kiehl's leave-in conditioner (cone-free). It was pretty expensive but the results are incredible - I have the softest hair ever!! And when I used it yesterday I had about five compliments on how good my hair looked. Maybe try a leave-in conditioner? I tried oils for months, and I do like them, but my ends tended towards very dry even using them.

I've also used ordinary conditioner as leave-in, and that got me pretty good results as well. Just seemed to really moisturise the dry ends.

Eryka
October 21st, 2008, 02:42 PM
Don't give up the oil search. You've only tried 2 oils. There are MANY oils out there! Don't be afraid to try the really obscure stuff. And don't be surprised if the popular LHC oils don't work for you. Camellia oil DESTROYED my hair. It darn near chemically fried it while making it fly away and poofy. I'm going to have to snip the ends off next weekend because whatever oil I put on them it only lasts a few hours.

Personally, Emu and Coconut oil have worked a treat for me. I did an Emu Oil deep treatment last week (let about 1 tablespoon of oil sit on my length for two days and reapplied to the ends) and I have to say I'm impressed. The other day I used the coconut oil on wet hair and it is on level with the Emu Oil, which is great.

Oils are a tricky business but don't give up!

goldenwaves
November 25th, 2008, 03:17 AM
Thank you so much for your amazing advice everyone, and I'm so incredibly sorry that I've taken such a long time to reply. I posted this thread just before I went on a 3 week trip to Germany, and when I got back, forgot I'd posted it! I feel so guilty, but I will try and make up for it now.

I will try to get my hands on some other oils. It's very hard because I think I will only be able to get them off the internet and as I am only 16 and don't have a credit card (only a key card) I would have to use Mum's card and then it gets complicated. Hopefully I can work something out though!

I generally brush my hair about a day after washing. I enjoy the waves and curls for a day and then get all the knots out at the end of the day! Perhaps, as was said, my hair can't look good every day, and sometimes I just need to put it up and forget about it!

I wash my hair in pure rain water from our water tanks. There is absolutely nothing added to it, so I guess it's pretty good!

At the moment I am experimenting with CWC, as well as oiling before washing.

Thanks so much for all of your suggestions everyone, it's really helped!!

manderly
November 25th, 2008, 03:46 AM
Instead of brushing, comb your hair. I have waves too, and I enhance them by the way I dry them.

Every morning I wake up, comb out my hair with my Heavenly Harvest comb (wide tooth horn comb), then I spray my hair down with Kimberlily's Defrizz Spray and twist my hair into pigtails to dry. This perks my waves back up into lovely frizz-free waves.

I rarely brush, and only if I'm doing a heavy oiling right before I wash.

goldenwaves
November 25th, 2008, 03:54 AM
Sorry, I should have been more clear. I comb with a wide-toothed comb, and then brush with a BBB. I will try skipping the brush! I will try your suggestion Manderly, thanks!

manderly
November 25th, 2008, 04:22 AM
Yes, avoid the brush until right before you wash. Wavies like us just turn into big puffballs if we brush ;)

My nickname was "Bush" in grade school.

Aditi
November 25th, 2008, 04:34 AM
First thing you need to do is to calm down, take deep breath, now you are given with lots of cool suggestions by the other members. Just go through your regular hair routine once again make some changes try & test new thing which are suggested over here. Even i have dry skin, dry scalp and dry hairs but oiling(Coconut & Almond Oil) has proven to be the best thing for my skin and hair. Give yourself another try dear.

burns_erin
November 25th, 2008, 07:45 AM
As for finding more obscure oils, try health food stores and places that sell massage oils-like massage schools. That is where I usually find mine.

Not speaking from direct personal experience, but one of my sisters has similiar hair to yours and she does well with grapeseed oil, rosehipseed oil, coconut oil when ithe weather is hot, and CWC all the time. She also does best using no/little protein, but she does use cones, lots and lots of cones.

Good luck to you and I hope you get it sorted out.

MandaMom2Three
November 25th, 2008, 08:27 AM
I tried a bbb and it really did a number on my hair :( . It was pretty good before I tried it but after, WOW, total frizz and it shredded my ends so much I had to trim the whole things (but still a lot of S&D thanks to the crazy layers I have) . It made my hair look terrible! I really like brushing so I got myself a wood bristle brush from the body shop. The bristles are nice and smooth so no catching and breaking. I detangle with my (also wood) comb first then when there's no tangles I brush. Feels so nice and doesn't make my hair look like a brillo pad!!

joyfulmom4
November 25th, 2008, 09:46 AM
I keep reading how people apply 2-3 drops of oil to their heads and I am amazed. Since I started oiling, I have discovered that my hair can take a LOT of oil. I don't like coconut b/c it made my hair feel greasy and heavy. But I put a LOT of sweet almond oil in my hair at night and by morning it's all absorbed. A little touch in the morning keeps the ends soft. Maybe you should try oiling more heavily at night? Hot oil treatments even?

rhubarbarin
November 25th, 2008, 09:47 AM
My hair looks very much like yours. It's wavy/curly and just a big ball of fluff unless it's full of leave-in. It needs both moisturizers to soften it, and fillers to weigh it down/clump it together.
Brushing or combing is the kiss of death for mine. When it's brushed or combed (even when soaking wet) it EXPLODES into a giant cloud.

Oils are good for deep treatments but don't do enough to weigh it down.

My routine (maybe you can try it):

1. Wet hair in the shower, fill with cheap conditioner, detangle, and comb out all sheds.
2. Wash gently, trying not to tangle the ends (I alternate COing with a cheap condish, SLS shampoo, and non-SLS shampoo)
3. Condition length for about 5 minutes with very rich condish
4. Rinse, without running fingers through hair
5. Squeeze out excess water, blot with towel
6. Squeeze in generous amount of conditioner or gel as leave in (I use Burt's Bees Green Tea or Aubrey Organics B5 Design Gel)
7. DON'T TOUCH until it's completely dry; scrunch out crunch if there is any

With this method I get soft, defined waves and curls that last at least 2 days - can last 4 if there's low humidity.