HELP! How to learn to love my natural ginger/red hair?

[hopefulred]

I really need your positivity about ginger hair.


How did you learn to embrace and love your ginger hair?

In a previous post I explained about my hair situation but there doesn't seem to be anyone in a similar position but for those who have ginger/red hair. Iv hidden it for the past 16years and now at the age of 31 I'm forced to grow it out, from the inch roots I have its quite a vibrant ginger so I'm struggling with it being quite orange and struggling to accept and learn to love it. Its always been a negative thing growing up (I was teased) and all those years of hatred for my hair colour are making it very hard for me to come to terms with growing it out so I can have healthy hair (The length of this process scares me too, I know its going to take about a year for it to get to my ears which is where it will be healthier and most of the rest of the damage from bleach and dye can be cut off) I'm 6ft tall woman too so I already stand out which I don't like so how do I make standing out even more with ginger hair become a positive thing and be confident about it?

[hayheadsbird]

As my natural hair colour is a mid/dark brown with reddish highlights, I'm not sure if I'm in the best position to give personal experience.
I've always wanted redder hair, and it's the only colour I've ever died. I use henna to bring out the red as much as I can without altering the base colour to drastically.
Red hair is stunning imo. My nephews mum has the most amazing bright auburn curls, and both boys have red hair. It's just incredible.
Nephew 2 went through a phase as a teenager of dying his black, but now he's happy with his hair colour.
Just think how many of us spend hours of time and money to achieve what you have naturally!

[Anje]

I suppose "move to the US where people will swoon over your natural color" isn't an option? I grew up thinking that my red hair was the prettiest thing about me.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

In my opinion, red hair is about the prettiest colour there is, because it is so rare (natural red, not dyed). It is stunning and glorious. I guess if you study some of the wonderful red hair on LHC and perhaps you will change your mind about it, I very much hope you will come to appreciate what you have, it can take time sometimes :) All the best with growing out your natural colour, now that can be a challenge...

[Kajzh]

Maybe find some redhead role models for hair beauty? If you are really, really struggling, though, I suppose a last resort could be a very slightly green-toned shampoo to reduce the vibrance and cut the red tone down to more of an auburn. However, I really do think red hair is gorgeous, so that wouldn't be my initial advice.

[mizukitty]

I'm a brunette but have always dreamed of lovely red locks. I think it's one of the rarest and most beautiful hair colors. Its vibrancy and the way it glows so warm when sunlight hits it is probably the most amazing thing ever. Every time I see a redhead, I can't help but keep glancing (I'm sorry, I know it's rude!!) Kids growing up can be cruel and just dismiss and bash anything out of the ordinary, but in the real world, a lot of people see beauty in difference. I know this isn't much coming from a random person, but I really hope you can learn to love it with time.

[Nettyx]

I was red as a child but now my hair is mousey so I understand how you feel about the taunts. Even though red hair is amazingly beautiful (I wish I had it now) it can be hard to see it yourself when it has been the reason you were teased. Have a read through the forum here, you will see there is so much love for all things red (Henna is a big thing here), I expect a true red head will be along to give you some advice soon.

[Apolli]

I can't give advice as I'm not a redhead myself but do know that your hair color is one of the most beautiful hair colors in the eyes of many people :) you have naturally and without any effort what a lot of people would love to have! You don't have to keep your hair color but do know that it's magnificent and don't let anyone tell you otherwise :)

[Deborah]

As a natural redhead, you no doubt have the right coloring to go with it. That is wonderful! Many dye their hair red or use henna to get the look, but very few look great in it because their skin tones are not right for red hair. You have the whole package! Natural red hair and the skin tones to look beautiful with it! This is not a curse; it's a good thing. :flower:

[Alissalocks]

Being a true ginger is like being a unicorn to me... Or a Pegasus :pegasus: !! You won the genetics lottery, I think!

Can you think of three things you love about your hair, or that you are grateful for? Maybe shifting your way of seeing your hair is going to require some reprogramming of Old Think and embracing what others see that you don't? I spent years hating my hair was so so straight and spent lots of money, and damage, doing perms in the old days until I made peace with it years later. I change my hair color myself, but I enjoy the process as well as the results.

[Magalo]

Look up the henna thread. And look at the billions of LHCers with thudworthy mane that dyed their hair to look just like yours. :)

[Viola88]

I see my strawberry blonde hair as a connection to my past that is gone. My favorite grandmother had strawberry blonde hair.

Here are some links that you might like. It's funny. When I see the photos at the Cork Convention, I think those are "my people". I also think that when I go to the dermatologist and I am surrounded by super pale white people :D

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/howaboutthat/11819120/Irish-Redhead-Convention-Hundreds-gather-to-celebrate-red-hair-in-pictures.html

http://www.redheadconvention.com/

http://howtobearedhead.com/shop/

[The Ubiquitous]

As I said in your previous post look at the "ginger parrot" site.
With shiney healthy red hair and being tall you will be stunning. Not many people will be able to turn heads like you will.
Look at the hair envy Isla Fisher evokes. What about Emma Stone - she looks fab when she is natural. Debra Messing dyes hers red (admittedly it is often not very well done but that's besides the point!) and if I can age as gracefully as Julian Moore I will be one happy bunny. As for male red heads, mostly yes please! :)
Red hair is rare. I was once told that society was taught to be suspicious of red heads because of the Celtic blood line. Basically people were historically scared of red heads because we were fierce and kicked their... I like that idea!
On a practical note consider getting your colours done. If you know that wearing a certain colour brings your skin alive or makes your hair glow then you will feel more confident.
Rock your red!
Eta: you said you wanted to be a role model for your cousin. What do you love about her red hair? As your natural colour is still hidden right now, ask your family what they love about your cousin's hair.
Eta again: I used to live with someone who was 6"1/2" ish with long ginger hair. She also loved her heels so she would tower over most people. She was nice enough bit very quiet and timid. I dont mean this nastily but she was not traditionally beautiful (I can say that because nor am I!). However when we went out men and women ADDORE D her. She was able to take her pick. I always felt like such a plain Jane next to her! Haha! Good job I wasn't competing with her!

ETA:
Ginger parrot - quotes about red hair: http://gingerparrot.co.uk/famous-redheads-quotes-red-hair/
Tickets sold out but look 17 Sept is ginger day in London http://redheaddayuk.co.uk/ (I guess mid summer is a no no haha!)
There's an international red head day. I mean, how many hair colours get worldwide events dedicated to them?

[Shiranshoku]

Maybe you could try henna to avoid the contrast in the roots?

Also, maybe don't think of it as coming to terms with it, accepting it or embracing it. But rather getting to know your hair. That's a commitment in itself, but it might help to look at your hair with curiosity and wonder instead of frustration and resignation.

Not a readhead, but that helps me when I get fed up with my mousy hair: I really want to see how long it can get without messing with it. Curiosity is a strong motivator!

[hopefulred]

Thankyou for your replies they mean a lot. Yeah Ubiquitous its my 1yr old niece who has the same hair colour as me- that's the most heart breaking thing, it wont be healthy for afew years until the damaged hair has grown out and its all natural virgin hair (thinking that in two years the regrowth will be prob shoulder blade length?) I think thats the hardest to deal with that its in such bad condition that if it can be coloured to my natural colour it is going to fade very quick and possibly look patchy because of where the awful hairdressers have overlapped the bleach, but will that look better than it being really light blonde with vibrant ginger roots I just don't know. The thing is that if the condition wasn't so bad I wouldn't be growing out my natural colour because I hated my natural colour so much but now I just wish it was healthy, I wish I could go back 16years and talk to my 15yr old self and make her embrace her hair and tell her what the future held with bleaching and colouring it.

I feel soooo bad about the whole hair situation like I said in my other post its given me severe depression and anxiety but the logical part of me looks around at people who have cancer and are having chemo and have lost all their hair including eyebrows, eyelashes etc and are fighting for their lives and are completely bald and people who have alopecia who would trade places with me in a second to grow out my natural colour and have hair that grows, its just so hard to have this rationale all the time, I know that in a years time I will have healthy hair to my ears hopefully longer but those people could still be having treatment or could have lost more hair, in a few years I will have healthy hair that I can start to grow longer and will have come to terms with my hair colour and moved on with my life but those people may have lost their battle/ still be fighting hair loss. So bad that something like hair has had such a huge damaging effect on my life.

[MidnightMoon]

I'm sorry this may not be the kind of post you're expecting but whatever...
It is not your colour of hair which has made you depressed or anxious or other symptoms you're describing. I understand you may have been bullied as a child, but it's been a lot of years since then. Paying so much attention to the colour and condition of your hair, and worrying about it is something more serious than that. We all have days when we feel unhappy, ugly, wish we had a different hair colour or better condition, but if you really feel that bad about hair, perhaps it's time to seek some counselling to see if there are any other aspects of your life which may be bothering you so much. Hair should not be causing you this level of distress.
You will not "fix" your hair for a good while. Growing out damage takes time and patience. People have also suggested using deposit only dyes to help deal with the colour difference. However, you sometimes mention being unhappy with the condition yet you keep talking about disliking your natural colour...
To us, red hair is a natural colour just as any, and to many it's their favourite colour! Most people can't understand or see the problem, they can't see this "defect" or ugliness you see, therefore, it's something about how /you/ perceive yourself, and changing your appearance won't deal with this issue. Getting praise or compliments isn't the solution either...
This is just my opinion....

ETA:

As a natural redhead, you no doubt have the right coloring to go with it. That is wonderful! Many dye their hair red or use henna to get the look, but very few look great in it because their skin tones are not right for red hair. You have the whole package! Natural red hair and the skin tones to look beautiful with it! This is not a curse; it's a good thing. :flower:

I've seen quite tan/yellowish people with natural red hair. 100% certain it wasn't dyed, they were mixed race (white + black). I don't think people who have only seen entirely caucasian redheaded people would think they look right, in fact, it seems a bit "off", yet it is still very natural.
One could argue any "whiter" looking person who dyed their hair would look better in it, specially if they have lighter eyes, a lighter skin tone, rosy cheeks or freckles and moles.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/99/4b/94/994b94d2c493b3eb629f16c6f0c566eb.jpg

[vampyyri]

Know that a lot of people are dying their hair to get to your color, as red is the rarest and most gorgeous color there is! I used to dye my hair red all the time, and now that I'm all natural I still long for the look of red! So much so that I'm looking into deposit-only streaks of red in my hair!

Best of luck growing out, I'm excited to see your shade of red! :flower:

[hopefulred]

Midnight moon I appreciate your response and agree that its also due to very low self confidence and self esteem why its effecting me so extremely and I am seeing a therapist about it but trying to get as much positivity towards my hair colour as possible which is why I cam here for support, I hated my hair colour all my life its so ingrained so its very hard to 'come to terms' with and when I'm not confident in how I look anyway its ten times harder. I know its going to take a long time to get it back in healthy condition which is really upsetting but once I get there it will have all been worth it and maybe in the long run its a positive thing as I don't have any choice but to go my natural colour so will make me come to terms with my hatred of the colour and learn to like it and be confident with what god gave me.
Thankyou Vampyyri its a very vibrant ginger looking at the roots I'm not sure how to post a picture?

[Deborah]

Have you thought of cutting it very, very short, so that all that is left is the natural hair? This could be one way to eliminate the demarcation and the odd looking color contrast. Then the damaged part would all be gone and you could then just let it grow freely. It would be a drastic restart, but it could look good and get rid of damage at the same time. Just another idea.

[Entangled]

I don't know what to say other than I spent all of my life wishing for any hair color other than my own. I love red hair.

[truepeacenik]

I colored my bangs once, black, and that was fun, but not repeatable. I was 18.

Now I have mid thigh heading to knee length hair that is virgin red (and, alas, sandy orange, the grey of red hair) at 47. Forty-eight in a week.
My leg hair is red, my pits are red, the usual suspect for lecherous questions is flaming red (a few shades lighter, in fact) but my eyebrows are brownish.
I doubt I've a drop of Celtic blood. Likely it's Mediterranean meets inland Europe. I'm Jewish with six known countries aside from North America.

I was teased mercilessly as a kid. I've been objectified and ******ized as a teen and adult.
Adults said nice things, usually. I remember, at age 5, being scared of a woman with carrot orange hair intoning that she "used to have hair just like mine" and thinking I'd turn into a clown overnight.

But you know what? That's all farts in the wind.
What is now is what is important.
I take care of my hair.
I honestly don't know if I'd be a longhair with any other color. (But likely)
The extreme length and the color together are powerful.
People remember me. They also ask if I'm related to some redhead they met long ago, because we must all be related. :rolleyes:

[Red.]

As children redheads are often teased. The sole reason is due to the fact that you're unique. It's not the red hair, it's the being different. It's all about fitting in, and if you don't, you're made fun of.

As you get older, in my experience as a redhead, you notice that people love and think red hair is gorgeous. I swear, there isn't one day that goes by when I'm out that people don't say either "I'd kill to have your hair" "Do you know how much money people spend to get your color?" "Your hair is so beautiful."

Regardless, you have to love yourself as you are and the showering of compliments won't mean anything until you believe it yourself.

I will say that I've never seen a shade of red that I disliked. Give yourself some credit, red hair is awesome. :)

[hopefulred]

I have thought about that Deborah several times but I only have just over half an inch of re growth, I wish that short style would look good on me but I know it would look awful on me!! I am going to see a hairdressers who specialise in broken hair, hair loss and wigs on Saturday so am going to see what they suggest. And iv just started using protein treatments (and moisturising ones) to try and strengthen the damaged hair until it can be cut off. I have thought about a wig but could I get one that doesn't cost an arm and a leg that looks real? Plus I am 36weeks pregnant and surely my baby would just pull the wig?

Thankyou Red these positive comments do help, I just want to fast forward two years to where I have all virgin hair that is healthy, that I can grow and I can style and feel good in myself and embrace my natural hair colour that god gave me.

[Mimha]

I really need your positivity about ginger hair.


How did you learn to embrace and love your ginger hair?

In a previous post I explained about my hair situation but there doesn't seem to be anyone in a similar position but for those who have ginger/red hair. Iv hidden it for the past 16years and now at the age of 31 I'm forced to grow it out, from the inch roots I have its quite a vibrant ginger so I'm struggling with it being quite orange and struggling to accept and learn to love it. Its always been a negative thing growing up (I was teased) and all those years of hatred for my hair colour are making it very hard for me to come to terms with growing it out so I can have healthy hair (The length of this process scares me too, I know its going to take about a year for it to get to my ears which is where it will be healthier and most of the rest of the damage from bleach and dye can be cut off) I'm 6ft tall woman too so I already stand out which I don't like so how do I make standing out even more with ginger hair become a positive thing and be confident about it?

Hi Hopefulred.

I see that you are new here, so welcome !! :cheer: :cheer:

I am confident with your red hair : by joining the LHC, you'll soon discover that you have a treasure on your head. :flower:

[Anya15]

OP, I've spent my entire life wishing I had hair that was an actual color instead of black :p So look at your natural red as a blessing!
It's fun, vibrant and intricate braid styles will actually show up on your hair (and look gorgeous) instead of getting lost (like they do in my hair).
Head over to the henna thread. You'll find that so many people are dyeing with henna to get the color that you naturally have!!

Could you post a picture if you don't mind? I want to swoon over your hair :crush:

[hopefulred]

How do I post a picture Anou?

[hopefulred]

I'm not sure if I can post photos yet? do you have to have posted so many times before you can post photos?

[Obsidian]

I think you need 25 posts before you can add photos but you can always post the link instead.

[lapushka]

How do I post a picture Anou?


I'm not sure if I can post photos yet? do you have to have posted so many times before you can post photos?

You need a photohosting site if you haven't got to 25 posts here yet. Make an account there, upload your picture there, and post the URL here. It's not that difficult. :) HTH!

[hopefulred]

How do you post pics as a link Obsidian? Are you a natural redhead?

[hopefulred]

This is what colour it was when I was a lot younger, not sure how old I am here http://i345.photobucket.com/albums/p370/cheesecakelove85/6F3AAA40-1AE5-4CB2-B083-95555F9F88E7_zpssihl3oml.jpg (http://s345.photobucket.com/user/cheesecakelove85/media/6F3AAA40-1AE5-4CB2-B083-95555F9F88E7_zpssihl3oml.jpg.html)

and these are my roots coming through now which is prob 20 years later!
http://i345.photobucket.com/albums/p370/cheesecakelove85/Mobile%20Uploads/2016-09/AB0B1741-F0B1-4431-8D8C-FC21F1F6646B_zpsc6eqfolp.jpg (http://s345.photobucket.com/user/cheesecakelove85/media/Mobile%20Uploads/2016-09/AB0B1741-F0B1-4431-8D8C-FC21F1F6646B_zpsc6eqfolp.jpg.html)

http://i345.photobucket.com/albums/p370/cheesecakelove85/Mobile%20Uploads/2016-09/5A3BF526-3B8B-4A38-BB03-625092D3C9E3_zpsm328xqw8.jpg (http://s345.photobucket.com/user/cheesecakelove85/media/Mobile%20Uploads/2016-09/5A3BF526-3B8B-4A38-BB03-625092D3C9E3_zpsm328xqw8.jpg.html)

[hopefulred]

And me with it dark blonde, I feel like this colour or a lighter blonde suits me, feel my natural colour is so orange and bright

http://i345.photobucket.com/albums/p370/cheesecakelove85/Mobile%20Uploads/2016-08/C48BE32E-5D6A-40C9-AB91-F453BA89E46E_zpships6avz.jpg (http://s345.photobucket.com/user/cheesecakelove85/media/Mobile%20Uploads/2016-08/C48BE32E-5D6A-40C9-AB91-F453BA89E46E_zpships6avz.jpg.html)

[pailin]

That's a pretty color! My mom usually never liked it when I dyed my hair- that color is the only one she ever really liked on me!
Also, I just want to mention that the first super-longhair I knew IRL (when I was in college) had really flaming orange-red hair, and was really tall- at least a couple inches taller than me, and I'm taller than average. Absolutely stunning.

[Anje]

OK, you're really cute and you've got a lovely shade of strawberry blond happening. That's a fun color, and it's quite flexible. :)

For your amusement, here's the shade of red I had growing up: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=11907&d=1405742001

[Hailwidis]

Strawberry blonde! Oh, I bet it'll be so gorgeous when it gets longer. What a special colour! :)

[littlestarface]

OK, you're really cute and you've got a lovely shade of strawberry blond happening. That's a fun color, and it's quite flexible. :)

For your amusement, here's the shade of red I had growing up: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=11907&d=1405742001

Aww what cute boys!

[hopefulred]

Ange What do you mean by its flexible?

Its obviously darkened since the first picture when I was a child. What colour/tone would you say it is now from my roots?

[spidermom]

Maybe Google red hair and look at pictures. There are some very pretty shades and people who look great in it. I had my hair colored a temporary light copper-red for my daughter's wedding, and it looked great.

[Nimia]

Just curious.... Have you thought about doing a henna gloss on the blond lengths, to make the grow-out blend in better with the roots? It might take away some of the stress of growing out your natural color. A color which, by the way, I think will look fabulous with your skin tone.

A henna gloss won't damage your already-damaged hair, and you can do it repeatedly, with dilute amounts of henna, until you get to the depth of color you want.

[LadyCelestina]

1. You look a bit like Mia Farrow 2. It's a bit funny you feel self-conscious about your natural haircolour with this gorgeous shade of red, as so many people go from the same colour as your dyed hair to the colour as your natural hair, and often with a great deal of effort. Go look at the henna threads here.

As a curly I know it's hard to accept your hair if you've been teased about it or have been told things like I was - you'd be pretty if you had straight hair! Well no I wouldn't. My curly hair suits my face and personality, and it is unique. What moved me from hating my hair to enjoying it was the curly girl method, which in the end wasn't so good for my hair and scalp, but made my curls look *better* and soon I was getting excited about what curly results will I get after a wash!

My advice then would be - browse through the henna threads. Dye the blonde bits a temporary red colour to see how it would feel with all your hair being your natural colour. Maybe try some deep treatments to see how pretty your colour can be (you can't really appreciate your haircolour if your hair is dull, dry or frizzy, but from your pics, you might not have this problem as your hair looks very sleek!)

And if after all this, you still hate your colour, then go ahead and dye it whatever you like. I didn't read your other post so I'm not sure why you are growing out the dye, but there is nothing wrong with changing you colour if you want to.

[embee]

You'll be fine! If anyone questions or comments (which they might, because people can be so rude) just say you're growing it out because dye is odd stuff and you want to be free of it with late pregnancy and breastfeeding.

Red is gorgeous. I was a redhead baby but it all went dark mousy blonde - now dark mousy brown with scattered silvers. Alas.

That taunting and teasing is so strange to me, as I don't recall that from my childhood, don't recall people saying rude things about redheads. It must be localized to certain areas of the world, that ... redhead envy? ;)

[JadedByEntropy]

with a furious self hatred for my natural color, i think i can say that...what grows out of your head is unique, and once you see the health in your not-processed hair, it will help convince you to keep trying to make peace with it. I agree that looking at the henna thread will help. The adoration others have, and their efforts in obtaining something you naturally have can be encouraging. Also, henna is good for hair, and if you can henna over blonde (i have no idea) it might speed the growing out process and put some softness back into the damaged part. Or let your cousin also be your inspiration? like, if you're supposed to model strength, you can model the strength you wish she would have...and thus learn to have it yourself?

[hayheadsbird]

That looks like it's going to grow out a lovely soft dark strawberry blond to me.

[The Ubiquitous]

OK. First off, your root growth doesn't look bright or orange or all that different to your lengths. Not that it would be bad if it was orange or bright, I'm just suggesting that you are getting freaked out over something most people wouldn't notice/care about (not that I ever do that. Ahem). I do understand its a big difference and there is a lot going on for you right now though. Is it possible you are focusing on that to avoid everything else? Apologies if I'm way off.
Actually I think I little crop would actually look fab on you and if not then Strawberry blonde should fade into blonde quite easily. Just call it an ombre or balange or whatever.
You're from the UK? I used to get teased because I looked like Spuggy from Byker Grove. Then it was Debbie from Neighbours.
As an adult - why do you notice someone's hair? Personally I tend to only notice someone else's hair if it is beautifull but ill firget aboit it half an hour later. Very occasionally I'll see someone's hair and think "oh dear" but that is all ill think and within half an hour I've forgotten about that too. Genuingely most of the time I am so busy worrying about my own mop that I don't even notice other people's and when I do I don't actually care all that much!
I think that's the same of most people?

ETA:

http://keyassets-p2.timeincuk.net/wp/prod/wp-content/uploads/sites/30/2015/06/Spuggie-622x830.jpg
This could have been me, right down to the apparent lack of eyebrows and fringe.
Now I'm mousey. Still have to dye my eyebrows though.

[Deborah]

In the US we call hair your color strawberry blonde. That means it is reddish blonde or blondish red, and it is considered a very pretty color. It's up to you of course, but I think you should either (1) just let it grow in and cut the damaged part off as you feel like it, or (2) cut off the blonde now and have really short, lovely hair. I think it would actually suit your face quite well and would be a fun, cute look. If it were me I'd do the big cut now and then grow the healthy natural hair out any length you like - or maybe you would find that you like it short and want to keep it that way. Who knows?

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do! :flower:

p.s. I like the strawberry blonde roots better than the dyed part of your hair. I honestly think it is prettier. (just my opinion)

[maborosi]

I like your hair both ways and I think it's very lovely!

I know what it's like to be made fun of for hair- but I was a blonde kid with dark brows and lashes. So other kids would make nasty comments, and adults would call my hair color things like "dirty blonde" "dishwater blonde", or accuse me of dyeing my hair or brows. As I got older, with one of my own family members lamenting why I couldn't have been born with "beautiful real blonde hair" (Golden or strawberry, I think is what they meant)
It got to me and really dragged me down.

I don't think I ever really moved past it, personally. It was very hard to grow up and hear things said to me about something I had no control over. I still haven't ever grown out my natural color.

Anyway, if you do want to grow out your color, henna and cassia might be great options to ease the transition and soften the demarcation line. Check out the henna threads- they're really useful and chock full of helpful info! But be cautious since your hair has been treated with bleach. The henna might stain those parts a VERY bright color that you might not want (Even diluted it can still be pretty strong!)

[hopefulred]

Yes unfortunately I'm in the UK ambiquitous I need to move to a country where ginger hair is celebrated and liked rather than here where its got more of a negative attachment to it. I know its my severe lack of self confidence and low self esteem why I am struggling so much going to my natural colour, and I just want to blend in and feel pretty and I felt I could do that with blonde hair but that's not an option right now if I want to have any hair!! The only way for me to have it look a natural blonde is to have bleach then a colour over but that is just so damaging over time and hairdressers cant seem to get it right with bleach either and if I only had bleach on the roots it looks white and is too harsh on my skin, going darker means going black to cover the ginger and that's far too harsh on my skin especially as I'm getting older it makes me look older and shows up imperfections on my skin with it being so pale so surely my natural colour will suit and compliment my skin tone because its what I was meant to be?? I know I have no choice but to go my natural colour, its the learning to like and embrace it that's causing me so much distress. I have always felt ugly

[calmyogi]

I'm just stopping in to add that I think your natural color is beautiful.

[spidermom]

Childbirth might give you an impetus to cut your hair short. Most people have a big shed after the birth of a child, and it can really make your hair look thin and bedraggled. Personally, I think you would look very cute with short hair.

Why in the world do you think black is the only color you could dye your hair if you don't do the blonde? There are many shades of brunette that you could choose. As far as I'm concerned (which I know counts for very little), your own color is very pretty. There aren't any colors that are prettier.

Most of us at one point or another have to learn to take a little teasing from other people. Nothing you do in life is going to suit everybody, so suit yourself and be at peace with it. Easier said than done, I know, but try.

[Entangled]

I think at first focus on making peace with your hair color. Then you can move on to liking and loving it. That's what I'm doing with mine--I hated it for so long because I thought it was boring and I just wanted a "normal" hair color with a proper name, rather than the hair color everyone was dyeing and bleaching to get away from. Once you stop hating it, you can start moving up.

[Lunnafindel]

Oh my god, I've always LOVED red hair! I only learned that people didn't like it when I read Harry Potter and people talked about Ron being a ginger like it was a bad thing...it took me a long time to figure out what they were talking about since it didn't make any sense. Red hair is SO BEAUTIFUL! Why do you think the henna thread here is so long if people didn't think that color was something to aspire to? (maybe you should pop into that thread and see what people say about the colors they're going for, it'd be a confidence boost for sure!)
Some of the most beautiful actresses I can think of have red hair (although I doubt most of it's natural...but that kind of proves the point, that people will pay oodles of money to achieve what you already have):

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5c/7e/98/5c7e98bae8c107ec7eb4d232093afcb4.jpg
http://data.whicdn.com/images/42688846/large.jpg
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/4/2/19/enhanced-buzz-23931-1364944234-1.jpg

I mean look at these people!
http://yourhaircolors.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Natural-Red-Hair-Color.jpg
http://hairstyles-creator.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/red-hair-colour.jpg
http://waytoenliven.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Makeup-Tips-For-Natural-Redheads.jpg

makes me want to cut all my hair off and start over with new genes!

ETA:
But seriously, I was teased about my hair as a kid too. But the difference was, I was teased because my hair was long - it was a choice I had made. So I took all the "Rapunzel, let down your hair!" and "what would you do if I cut your hair off right now?" and "you should cut your hair and donate it. you're so selfish to keep it all" things as compliments - people were recognizing something that I liked and had put effort into, and if they didn't see it the way I did, at least they recognized that I was special.

For you, it's something natural, that you didn't choose. Being teased about something you don't have a choice in is much harder, and I can totally see why you would feel insecure if people were mean about it. But now is your chance - you're growing out natural, by choice, so when people comment on your hair, they'll be noticing something you've done for yourself, that you can take pride in: "yes it IS my natural color, thank you!" "yes, we do have a secret club of gingers that you're not allowed in" "yes I am cooler and more unique than you, that's right..." ;) because if anyone comments on your hair, good or bad, it's because they've noticed that you have something they don't have. Which is pretty cool.

[calmyogi]

I didn't know red hair was a bad thing until I started commenting on how I thought such and such persons red hair was pretty and people would tell me that it wasn't. I also was made fun of for my body in ways that make me insecure to this day. But time has made it easier and I have started to love myself more.

[pamrlyn]

I hope you learn to love your hair color when you get it back... Red does tend to lose vibrancy as one gets past childhood - so it might not even be the same now, as when you were a child or teen.

My granddaughter is a ginger (strawberry blonde so far) & she's 3. I hope she will love & embrace it! and slather on that sunscreen, every day! My best friend in high school was also a ginger (carrot shade) - she is still a wacky self confident person. That fading kicked in & she uses hair dye to keep the flame alive :)

one more thought - everybody has something that they are self conscious about. or have been teased as a child about. There comes a time to just say oh well, & go on like it doesn't matter. Because, it doesn't matter.

stay strong

pam

[LadyCelestina]

. I know its my severe lack of self confidence and low self esteem why I am struggling so much going to my natural colour, and I just want to blend in and feel pretty .... I have always felt ugly

Nobody can help you with this though. I mean this is a whole other thing than just not really liking your haircolour very much, and no matter how much we persuade you that your colour is awesome (because it really is in the eyes of most people here, not just because we want you to feel better about it), it's not going to work.

Only you have the power to break this circle. I know it's hard to stop feeling ugly, I never understand how can anyone but me honestly think I look good :D but once you manage to persuade yourself that you look presentable, it's going to take a lot of the anxiety away. It sounds horrible but try looking at people who have it much worse than having haircolour they don't like, it works for me when I overthink my looks and need a good slap in the face :D

[wispe]

Your color is beautiful! I'm also strawberry blonde (http://i.imgur.com/LD68IP8.jpg?1) (perhaps a shade lighter than you) and I definitely feel you on the roots looking way more golden/warm than the bleached ends. If your root picture is recent, then we're at a similar stage in the regrowth journey. Maybe head over to Giving up the dye/bleach and growing out natural? Share your progress (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=51155&page=227) thread for some support.

I love my natural color and the feeling of healthy hair, and I love my pink ends, so I am growing some roots out with a plan to transition into some type of ombre or balayage. I personally am really, really enjoying the rooty look, but I've found that the roots are de-emphasized when I wear my hair curled and when I wear it back in some type of pony/bun,single braid. I'm not sure what your length will allow in terms of up-dos, but even clipping the bang section back helps disguise the line if that's something you want to do. I've also refreshed my fading pink to lessen the harshness of the line of demarcation, but you can do the same with a semi-permanent color or gloss. Or perhaps you could ask your stylist to blend your natural color down a bit (like a shadow root) with a semi-permanent color so you don't have to touch the damaged ends again but the transition would look more intentional. See : 1 (http://www.haircolorsideas.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Copper-to-Strawberry-Blonde-Ombre.jpg) 2 (http://www.long-hairstyless.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Blonde-Strawberry-Hair.jpg) 3 (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ff/20/c4/ff20c464973cda9717bf9c5947d17574.jpg) 4 (http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/hetaliafanmadecharacters/images/8/85/Wpid-Ombre-Hair-Strawberry-Blonde-2015-2016-0.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160401040634)

Also perhaps focus less on the color and more on finding a routine that will maintain the health of your hair. And you mentioned certain colors being too harsh with your skin tone - perhaps you can look into something like seasonal color analysis and figure out what colors are most flattering on you. (I look best in soft summer palettes, for reference. I did a LOT of looking into this because my superpale cool skin tone and ginger hair are hard to categorize evenly).

[truepeacenik]

Let me see if I can say this nicely. The intent is, so please extend theat awareness.
Your childhood hair wouldn't even be considered red in my world. It's a blonde. Not golden, not ash, but blonde.

Now, children are evil spirits being trained in to humans. I was one, I raised one, etc, etc.
Children don't know twadle about appearance.
And they certainly should be evicted from your head.
Would you allow meth addicts to sleep on your couch for years? Well, that's what those childhood taunts are.
Kick them out! Grow into the adult you are.
Especially for your kiddo. Think of the genetics chances of red hair.
If you hate your hair, your redheaded child will think by extension that you hate their hair, and some will go further and deduce that you hate them.

This is very important!

Embrace what is, celebrate it, play with colors as you like, but respect and have some fondness for the starting point.

I think a strong red pixie would make you absolutely dazzling.

[spidermom]

Let me see if I can say this nicely. The intent is, so please extend theat awareness.
Your childhood hair wouldn't even be considered red in my world. It's a blonde. Not golden, not ash, but blonde.

Now, children are evil spirits being trained in to humans. I was one, I raised one, etc, etc.
Children don't know twadle about appearance.
And they certainly should be evicted from your head.
Would you allow meth addicts to sleep on your couch for years? Well, that's what those childhood taunts are.
Kick them out! Grow into the adult you are.
Especially for your kiddo. Think of the genetics chances of red hair.
If you hate your hair, your redheaded child will think by extension that you hate their hair, and some will go further and deduce that you hate them.

This is very important!

Embrace what is, celebrate it, play with colors as you like, but respect and have some fondness for the starting point.

I think a strong red pixie would make you absolutely dazzling.

I was thinking the same, that the starting color looked blonde, not red, to me. However I chalked it up to my monitor. Sometimes colors just don't look true on it. I remember somebody posting a picture of violet hair, but it looked gray to me. Anyway, from what I can see, your natural color is as beautiful as anybody else's beautiful natural color. Personally, I love-love-love mine as it goes from the blonde of my signature picture to silvery-white of age.

[Antimony]

A lot of people would love to have red hair naturally (me included!). I'm sorry you have such negative feelings about it, but maybe looking up some ways to make peace with it will help?

[Kirby-oh]

Oh my god, I've always LOVED red hair! I only learned that people didn't like it when I read Harry Potter and people talked about Ron being a ginger like it was a bad thing...it took me a long time to figure out what they were talking about since it didn't make any sense. Red hair is SO BEAUTIFUL! Why do you think the henna thread here is so long if people didn't think that color was something to aspire to? (maybe you should pop into that thread and see what people say about the colors they're going for, it'd be a confidence boost for sure!)
Some of the most beautiful actresses I can think of have red hair (although I doubt most of it's natural...but that kind of proves the point, that people will pay oodles of money to achieve what you already have):

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5c/7e/98/5c7e98bae8c107ec7eb4d232093afcb4.jpg
http://data.whicdn.com/images/42688846/large.jpg
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/4/2/19/enhanced-buzz-23931-1364944234-1.jpg

I mean look at these people!
http://yourhaircolors.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Natural-Red-Hair-Color.jpg
http://hairstyles-creator.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/red-hair-colour.jpg
http://waytoenliven.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Makeup-Tips-For-Natural-Redheads.jpg

makes me want to cut all my hair off and start over with new genes!

ETA:
But seriously, I was teased about my hair as a kid too. But the difference was, I was teased because my hair was long - it was a choice I had made. So I took all the "Rapunzel, let down your hair!" and "what would you do if I cut your hair off right now?" and "you should cut your hair and donate it. you're so selfish to keep it all" things as compliments - people were recognizing something that I liked and had put effort into, and if they didn't see it the way I did, at least they recognized that I was special.

For you, it's something natural, that you didn't choose. Being teased about something you don't have a choice in is much harder, and I can totally see why you would feel insecure if people were mean about it. But now is your chance - you're growing out natural, by choice, so when people comment on your hair, they'll be noticing something you've done for yourself, that you can take pride in: "yes it IS my natural color, thank you!" "yes, we do have a secret club of gingers that you're not allowed in" "yes I am cooler and more unique than you, that's right..." ;) because if anyone comments on your hair, good or bad, it's because they've noticed that you have something they don't have. Which is pretty cool.

It's a gender thing for people, also. Ginger boys get mocked more than ginger women, or so I have heard anyway. I was only a true redhead until I was 2.

[akuamoonmaui]

Yes unfortunately I'm in the UK ambiquitous I need to move to a country where ginger hair is celebrated and liked rather than here where its got more of a negative attachment to it. I know its my severe lack of self confidence and low self esteem why I am struggling so much going to my natural colour, and I just want to blend in and feel pretty and I felt I could do that with blonde hair but that's not an option right now if I want to have any hair!! The only way for me to have it look a natural blonde is to have bleach then a colour over but that is just so damaging over time and hairdressers cant seem to get it right with bleach either and if I only had bleach on the roots it looks white and is too harsh on my skin, going darker means going black to cover the ginger and that's far too harsh on my skin especially as I'm getting older it makes me look older and shows up imperfections on my skin with it being so pale so surely my natural colour will suit and compliment my skin tone because its what I was meant to be?? I know I have no choice but to go my natural colour, its the learning to like and embrace it that's causing me so much distress. I have always felt ugly

My hair color was the same as yours when I was your age. I was also teased for it. It was annoying mostly, but did make me feel self conscious and didn't like my hair color until I was in high school. My signature picture is much darker than it "should" be - I added indigo and have regretted that fateful day.... but I digress. As an American adult, I have gotten many compliments about my hair color, such as you've received. I think however, I may know what you're talking about with your concern over your natural color. I went to dinner at a couple's house where the wife was originally from a country that views gingers as the UK does. (I don't want to stereotype others from that country). This woman didn't know me from Eve. I'm a polite individual with table manners and highly educated. There wasn't any nose picking, crass conversation or profanity at the table, is my point. This woman treated me like.... I don't know what. I have never been responded to in a way where I felt like I was... a criminal? Suspect? Untrustworthy? I had some understanding of being a (UK) "ginger" and after that evening I "got it". I can't think of anything I could have done or said to elicit a response like that other than "being a ginger". :bigeyes:

With that said, you are beautiful - thank you for sharing your pictures - and you look like a lovely, caring human being. Your natural hair is a wonderful, envious color. If you choose to wear it naturally once the damage is grown out, I'm sure just by your presence, you will counter any stereo type. :toast: :flower:

[OhSuzi]

So I deleted the wording from this post, as it was an accidental duplicate of the post below.
I'm replacing it hopefully if this works, with a picture of a beautiful sexy red head.
Obviously just because you have red hair does not mean you have to behave like a total sex kitten.
But this lady is just totally rocking her look, I am in love with this picture!

http://for-redheads.tumblr.com/post/10208846894/wasbella102-jessica-rabbit-lives

ETA:

If you look at what colour everyone wants to be on poll forum the most popular choice is red.
I voted for Red and I meant everything from pail strawberry blonde to vibrant copper orange to pillar box red to deep chestnutty auburn.
Brunettes and Blondes and all the other crazy colours in between are lovely too but red is my favourite! I am a brunette and I guess the grass is always greener / hair is always redder on the otherside!
Its a colour with serious impact - looks gorgeous against royal blues and deep velvet greens and delicate and other worldy against a dusky pink.
Embrace your strawberry blonde, ginger, copper, auburn. What a lucky person to have that colour naturally!
Lots of beautiful celebrities have it and if they don't, lots of them dye it - Actress Julianne Moore, super model Lilly Cole, Disney Princess Merida the Brave, Amy Wlliams from Paramore, Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud, actress Christina Hendricks, Emma Stone, Gillian Anderson, Nicole Kidman, the list is endless.
It's the perfect colour for Mermaids and Medieval Scottswomen and Viking Warriors and sultry vixens like Jesicca Rabbit.
Any colour hair that's healthy & well looked after looks great.

Also I am in the UK - so you have 1 fan at least and there is plenty more of us out there!

ETA2:

Apologies for the double post – computer crashed!

I’ve just seen you’re pics and you are an attractive lady!
I would like to be as slim as you & you have nice big eyes.
Your hair looks like it’s in reasonable condition to me and I would really be excited to see the natural colour from your roots come through, I think it would be gorgeous against your skin colour.

Sometimes people dye their hair black or bright yellow or whatever colour and it can make them look washed out, or a bit green around the gills and what colour suits one person doesn’t always suit another.
However, people’s natural hair colour will never do anything but compliment their skin and eyes funnily enough it will just naturally suit you!

I’m not a professional counsellor & who cares what I think, but I’d say there is a difference between looking ugly and feeling ugly.
Feeling ugly is more about what you think about your whole self / how you perceive yourself rather than your actual appearance and if that was the case you would probably benefit from counselling in order to accept who you are first – otherwise it won’t matter whether you look like princess unicorn sparkle beauty or slugly the swamp creature, you will see yourself as ugly.


What does ugly even mean? I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’ve ever looked at a human being and thought Oh my goodness that is the most ugly creature in the world. How can they bare to endure it and torture the rest of the world with it?
I guess if they had a really noticeable feature or if they hadn’t made the best of themselves or their health, I might notice e. g. If they only had one really yellow tooth, or ratty hair with lumps of food in it and a mini skirt that there bottom sticks out of, or lopsided eyebrows drawn on in marker pen, but the world won’t explode just because they exist, and most nice normal people wouldn’t feel the need to go and beat them with sticks and be rude to them just because they look different. Plus people are generally so self-absorbed with how they themselves look, that they forget to notice how anyone else looks anyway!
Humans come in all shapes and sizes. Quite often as you get to know someone you don’t even really notice their looks.

In all honesty I have thought some people were ugly, but it was their personalities not their appearance.
There was a lady on UK Big Brother, she had had a bit of work done so her waist and her nose was petite, her lips and boobs were plump, her hair was fakely long – she looked very pretty. She was also continuously loud, aggressive, argumentative, manipulative bullying and attention seeking (in fact this is now the standard selection process for just about everyone on Big Brother these days so I could be talking about any of the contestants). I thought what an ugly person she is, even then, I amended that thought to being sorry for her and decided this was just someone with a lot of issues.

Very few people are lucky enough to be utterly utterly perfectly beautiful and beauty means different things to everyone anyway and people’s looks constantly change any way as they grow older / have different experiences.

There are things that stop most people from being the perfect version of western ‘model pretty’.
But who cares?! Being ugly or pretty is of practically zero importance!
I personally like my face because it’s mine, I’m healthy-ish and make the best of what I have.
I would much rather be considered interesting, likeable, creative or funny by the few people whose opinions actually count than beautiful.

What is it you believe would change / you would gain if you could have you ideal hair colour?