Reactions from the uninitiated

[Neverremember]

Has anyone ever received hurtful comments about their hair routine/care from people who have no idea what they're talking about? I bet you have.

This just happened: I'm visiting my parents. I let down my hair for a second and noticed my mother was around so I take a moment to tell her how happy I am it's growing past my collarbone since last time she saw me it down it was mid-neck. So she says, oh but you didn't wash it last night. Well, mom, I said, I don't wash it every day, I don't need to. Every four to five days is enough. And then, she was like NOOOOO, YOU ARE DIRTY AND HAIR NEEDS WASHING EVERY DAY OR TWO IT SHOULD SMELL NICE AAARGH rant/rant/rant/offesive and hurtful remarks.

I tried to tell her that I know what I'm talking about, and my hair type which is neither thin nor prone to greasiness bur rather prone to split ends does not benefit from shampoo all that often and in fact, it is shampooing every day to "smell nice" that makes hair greasy. She was adamant that I know nothing, refused to believe me and proceeded to call me dirty, also cutting me off every time I tried to get more technical with some bogus comment like, "if you don't have fresh smelling hair, you are unwashed". I told her that you can wet the hair and crunch the scalp if you need to between washes, it is shampoo that is harmful before hair really needs it. I invited her to touch my normal to dry hair at the roots and she proclaimed it was greasy, so I touched hers and it was three times as greasy at the roots and then full of product and crunch.

This is not to lament the fact that this is my mother, because she can be wonderful and I'm sure everyone's mom sucks sometimes too, but it did make me feel very strange. Like, you have been fed this nonsense from commercials all your life, have never managed to have nice hair yourself and you refuse to even entertain the possibility that maybe, just maybe the human scalp is capable of taking care of itself better than a big pharma concoction you are supposed to slather on yourself to not be 'disgusting'? Needless to say, I grew up with terrible frizzy hair full of unsightly layers with split ends going halfway up the hair shaft because someone had no idea what they were doing and were unwilling to try to find out. And I get called disgusting for doing what people who know what they're doing say you should (which, incidentally, has led to no splits after a year without a proper trim). Sigh.

[Amenahh]

I know what you mean. That's why I normally don't discuss how often I wash my hair with people. My mom and sister are thankfully aware that not washing hair all the time is good for it. My mom has curly dry hair and washes even less frequently than me.
My boyfriend (short hair) washes his hair almost every day and doesn't understand why it's not good for longer hair. But at least he doesn't mind my routine and doesn't make any negative comments.

[missmelaniem]

I'd ask her whos going to be sticking their nose in my hair anyway.

Moms: they mean well but sometimes they just dont get it :)

[Symbiotek]

Fortunately I haven't had to deal with people questioning my hair care routine, at least not to that extent. Some people actually ask for tips and advice, which I find very sweet.

Well, once a friend told me I should wear my hair down like other girls, because wearing it up in a bun makes me look like "a bald alien" :lol: But he did listen to me when I explained I usually wear my hair up to prevent damage and so on.

[brickworld13]

I don't talk hair with people unless they ask and even then I may fib if I know they are obsessive about washing every single day. My mom is awful about attacking me for not washing my hair more often. :rolleyes: She's got a bob now because she has been mistreating her curls. Spare me. I know how to take care of my hair.

[Neverremember]

I know what you mean. That's why I normally don't discuss how often I wash my hair with people. My mom and sister are thankfully aware that not washing hair all the time is good for it. My mom has curly dry hair and washes even less frequently than me.
My boyfriend (short hair) washes his hair almost every day and doesn't understand why it's not good for longer hair. But at least he doesn't mind my routine and doesn't make any negative comments.

Lesson learned! I suppose I felt it was no biggie because I did not claim to WO, which may sound a bit funky and drastic at first. My boyfriend also has no problem with how often I wash my hair because he knows it is neither too greasy nor smelly by the time I wash it. I can go a week before it starts to look and feel odd. I wash it on the fourth or fifth day only because it gets a little itchy.


I'd ask her whos going to be sticking their nose in my hair anyway.

Moms: they mean well but sometimes they just dont get it :)

You see, it's not that it really is smelly or that she is afraid someone might smell it. It's the idea that disgusts her and, frankly, this is what upsets me because it has no foundation in reality and is the product of brainwashing.

[lapushka]

I have long learned that it is pointless to have a discussion with people who have made up their minds. :lol: Just smile and nod and say, okay mom, do what you do and keep doing it, and leave her none the wiser.

My parents always complained that I needed to wash my hair so often. Once a week should be enough. Washing too frequently was bad for it. Now my dad washes his hair once a week, but he wets it down frequently in the mornings. My mom can go a month without washing if she wants! And I needed to wash 2/3x a week. It got that oily. And I have SD (seborrheic dermatitis), so... you can imagine.

I have been able to stretch to a week now in recent years, magically once I grew past BSL, gradually. So yeah. It's lovely to just have to do this one time and be good for the week to come. I know what they meant now, but it has to be do-able too.

So the reverse situation here. :lol:

[Stepo_NiNha]

This is a good thread for those who like to discuss their hair routines and beauty secrets with their relatives and friends. We must be prepared! :guns:

One thing I've learned here is you should not tell everyone (not even close relatives) some of your routine habits because they simply won't understand. Unless your friends/relatives share the same opinion as you, some delicate secrets are to be kept for yourself :)

If I say that I want to grow my hair to hip or tailbone it will sound silly for so many people around me that they will be like : shudder:

Keep calm and your mum will forget about that discussion!

:beerchug:

[Tosca]

I've gotten 'I wish I could do that' when I mention I only need to wash once a week.

[Neverremember]

I am 26 years old so I don't feel like I need to justify something like this to my mother. It was meant to be a throaway, meaningless discussion piece such as 'I like bananas' - 'oh, I prefer pears'. It is only incidental that it was my mother, it could have been a close friend. What upsets me deeply though is how something so trivial as washing hair once a week or twice a week or every day can lead someone to bear judgement on your level of hygiene. More so if they are mistaken. That so many of us have been led to believe there is something so wrong with us that we cannot decide for ourselves what is healthy and hygienic and what is not.

Conversely, I now realize reading all your comments that we must hide this like it is a shameful secret. I mean, I would not tell anyone about putting vajayjay cream on my scalp, which I did and stand by, because I know that is a little... special. On the other hand, not washing my hair when it is not oily is not that hard to understand, surely?

[XiaoBaiTu]

My experience with friends sometimes mirrors what you mention with your mom, but generally I don't talk about hair with them unless they ask. I actually love discussing hair with my mom though, she knows how to take good care of our curly hair and as long as I was young enough for her to be doing my hair for me, it was split-free. It's split-free again now, but there were a few years there as teen when I thought I knew hair better than she did. She was right, you shouldn't brush dry curls!

[Neverremember]

This is a good thread for those who like to discuss their hair routines and beauty secrets with their relatives and friends. We must be prepared! :guns:

We must be prepared indeed! That emoticon is genius.

I think saying you want to have TBL hair does not sound silly! Unless you are telling strangers, of course, then anything can sound silly. But for your friends and family it should be fine, no? Since they will actually see you with TBL at some point too. It does not mean they should want TBL hair too, but why would it sound silly that you do?



I have long learned that it is pointless to have a discussion with people who have made up their minds. :lol:

Yeeees, that is wise talk, lapushka. Unfortunately being put on the spot and accused of being dirty did get my blood boiling a bit. Next time something like this happens, I will try to find a way around it. I do not consciously lie so that might be hard in some situations.

[Johannah]

I don't go into discussion about those things, I have better things to use my energy for. You know the quote from Robert Downey?


“Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the f* you were gonna do anyway.”

Works like a charm. :lol:

[triumphator!]

My husband can't wrap his head around conditioner only washing or oiling. But he's going bald so he's generally disinterested in hair stuff. He will however curiously ask me about new things he sees in the bathroom - and then be like "okay okay whatever I regret asking" after a long scientific explanation of how everything works.

If your mama doesn't believe you about stretching washes, a lot of conventional ladies magazines have latched onto the idea, especially for curly hair and the folks who do fancypants blowouts at salons. I bet if you sent her one of those articles, she would be more inclined to believe you. Actually I think some have even embraced CO washing, too! Those articles might be hard to find, though. The whole "no poo" thing has definitely gained some steam in the mainstream world lately.

ETA: I had roommates who were like "WHY IS THERE HONEY IN THE SHOWER?!?!?!" and when natural haircare explanations failed, I would just tell them I like to have snacks in the shower. The resulting funny looks were priceless. Oh and one time I convinced a guy that I used it "to get grime off of the grout between the tiles, because it is so naturally sticky." :wigtongue

[brickworld13]

My husband can't wrap his head around conditioner only washing or oiling. But he's going bald so he's generally disinterested in hair stuff. He will however curiously ask me about new things he sees in the bathroom - and then be like "okay okay whatever I regret asking" after a long scientific explanation of how everything works.

If your mama doesn't believe you about stretching washes, a lot of conventional ladies magazines have latched onto the idea, especially for curly hair and the folks who do fancypants blowouts at salons. I bet if you sent her one of those articles, she would be more inclined to believe you. Actually I think some have even embraced CO washing, too! Those articles might be hard to find, though. The whole "no poo" thing has definitely gained some steam in the mainstream world lately.

Except the no poo movement in mainstream always seems to use baking soda. I would never recommend that for no poo. It really messes with scalp pH.

[Stepo_NiNha]

We must be prepared indeed! That emoticon is genius.

I think saying you want to have TBL hair does not sound silly! Unless you are telling strangers, of course, then anything can sound silly. But for your friends and family it should be fine, no? Since they will actually see you with TBL at some point too. It does not mean they should want TBL hair too, but why would it sound silly that you do?


It does sound silly for many people here because here where I live, unless you're a teenager, you won't find many people with that length. People here tend to classify TBL has "extremly long hair" and it's a "crazy length" in their minds. I already discussed about that with friends and I gave up, it's pointless. Actually, it's very rare to find women here older than 25 years old with hair passing waist. Women with long hair here usually have their hair between APL and BSL, not longer than that.

I just love, LOVE long hair. I really mean it. So I don't care anymore what others will think about it! It's my hair.

[Amenahh]

Conversely, I now realize reading all your comments that we must hide this like it is a shameful secret. I mean, I would not tell anyone about putting vajayjay cream on my scalp, which I did and stand by, because I know that is a little... special. On the other hand, not washing my hair when it is not oily is not that hard to understand, surely?

May I ask why you put vajayjay cream on your scalp? What are the benefits? I'm genuinely curious, I've never heard of this before :D Also, what type of vajayjay cream??

[triumphator!]

May I ask why you put vajayjay cream on your scalp? What are the benefits? I'm genuinely curious, I've never heard of this before :D Also, what type of vajayjay cream??

Monistat has been shown to accelerate hair growth in some people. It gave me wild headaches, mostly.

[Amenahh]

Wow I had no idea!

[brickworld13]

Wow I had no idea!

Oh yes. There is a whole thread devoted to it. I've never been brave enough to explore it.

[browneyedsusan]

I might be able to help? I'm about your mom's age, with children 21 and 19.
It sounds like there is more going on here than your hair routine? Some moms are used to controlling every detail of their children's lives, and that little bit has gotten away from her? Maybe she just wants to "mother you" more, and is missing you now that you're living away from her. She might be worried that you'll never attract a nice boy if your hair is "dirty". Her girlfriends might have trouble with their daughter's cleanliness and bending your mom's ear. She might have a negative preception of "dirty hippies" from something way back in her past. Good gravy, it could be ANYTHING! lol!

I'm a nice, Christian lady; but I'd lie like a rug under these circumstances. It sounds like her mind is made up, and you'll not convince her otherwise. Next time give her: "I washed it yesterday morning", or "I'll get after it this afternoon", or "Yeah, I washed it in March. Should be good until mid-October." Whatever you need to do to settle her down.

Your relationship is the most important thing here. Your hair routine ought not be a stumbling block.

FWIW: my mom thinks my hair is out of control, too. --look at my siggy. I was pixied a really long time. Before that, never longer than CBL-- She imagines that it's a huge hassle to keep nice, and styling it different every day must be a nasty chore. Mom is 73, with a cute long pixie. She's never colored it, because she isn't very gray. The thought terrifies her.

[TatsuOni]

I never talk about my haircare with other people than thoose I know are "crazy enough" to understand, like my friends and mother. My boyfriend too:p He's bald but got no choice and does now know way more about hair now then when he had hair himself. He doesn't mind what I'm doing as long as it gives me long and good looking hair:p

Online is another story. I share tips and my routine when people ask. Some comments I've gotten are:
* Your hair must smell! (I wash it every other week)
* You can't get your hair clean without shampoo. (CO for over three years)
* You cant get any effect with products that isn't made for hair. (Oil. Because shampoo and silicones has been around since the stoneage?)

I've gotten a lot of positive comments too and some people wanna know even more:)

[pailin]

It's actually really common for people here not to wash their hair more than once or twice a week. So for me, I end up explaining why I wash it so often. And at home, my mother used to tell me I was washing my hair too often (like Lapushka's). But I have reasons (oily scalp which gets horribly itchy). At any rate, I do tend to try to just avoid that subject. I'll mention oils to certain friends - like the Indian friend who first suggested one to me- but not most people.

[yogagirl]

Yeah, this is a classical case for "know your audience." (Meaning just don't go there if you know it won't go over well.)

I choose not to tell anybody how often I wash my hair. It is just not a discussion I want to have with random strangers or even friends/family that may react a certain way due to their conditioning. I may mention I don't necessarily wash it every day IF the conversation goes that way or I am pressed for an answer, though that kind of implies I wash it every 1-2 days which is untrue. Choose your battles and all that.

[samanthaa]

My mother doesn't like long hair; I grew up with her telling me that my hair was too fine and thin to ever be thick, and that I looked better with shorter hair, face-framing layer, etc. In fact, the last time I was in my parents' home, I mentioned my unhappiness with the thinness, and she again suggested cutting it to make it appear thicker. NOPE.

But my mother is also very health-conscience so instead of shampoo she uses things like baking soda and ACV, and I buy her CV shampoo bars for Christmas (she'll make one last a whole year!). She wasn't at all shocked when I used catnip from her garden for a hair rinse once, and probably wouldn't be shocked by any of my hair care experiments (she was there for my first henna application!). My father couldn't care less, except he once told me one of my shampoo bars smelled like tar and made the whole bathroom smell terrible (but I think he was just overexaggerating). She will never understand my desire for long hair (hers has been collarbone length or shorter my whole life), but she gets the alternative hair care methods for sure.

My current roommates, on the other hand...I try generally not to advertise. When I do SMTs and henna applications, I generally try to confine myself to my bedroom for the duration. Once my roommate saw me mixing up an SMT and asked what it was for; I told her, "A deep treatment for my hair," and she said that she'd never heard of a "deep treatment." Her hair gets long due to benign neglect, and then she chops (her last was from waist to shoulder), and she washes infrequently (but only because she cares about water consumption). So we have different motivations, but, yes, we've discussed "stretching washes." She knows I generally don't wash my hair after a sweaty workout, which most people would find gross. Beside her, I probably wouldn't voluntarily discuss this with anybody else unless asked, but even then I'd probably fib unless it was someone who was genuinely interested. My partner, much like my father, is indifferent, though he doesn't understand why I don't wear my hair down 24/7, telling me that I look much better with it down than up.


ETA: I had roommates who were like "WHY IS THERE HONEY IN THE SHOWER?!?!?!" and when natural haircare explanations failed, I would just tell them I like to have snacks in the shower. The resulting funny looks were priceless. Oh and one time I convinced a guy that I used it "to get grime off of the grout between the tiles, because it is so naturally sticky." :wigtongue

OMG, this is great! I've definitely offered similar explanations, because it's just too difficult trying to explain natural hair care to people who do nothing but shampoo, condition, blow dry, and straighten every day on repeat. I know I often lie when I'm doing a cassia treatment--I say it's henna, because at least with henna, there's a visible benefit that might seem like a rationale explain as to why I'm possibly putting this mud on my head. Once also I had a bowl of rice in my room fermenting for a rinse and my roommate saw it; I told her I was just soaking the rice for an extended period of time because it makes it so much quicker to cook!

[truepeacenik]

For the odd placement of things some eat but I apply to hair, I just say it is some magical hippie madness

Works.

[lithostoic]

I say this on every one of these posts, but man, I would've told her to f*** off and stay out of my business.

[Pantha]

I have had these sorts of comments a few times, but one of my favourites was a woman at work who has never seen my hair down, she told me my hair was far too long and must have so many split ends so I should cut it to at least above my waist so it will be thicker, bouncier and full of life. I wouldn't mind if this was based on her observation but as I wear my hair covered with a head scarf and hard hat all day at work, and she's never seen it loose, how can she judge how many split ends I have, or how it would look better at any other length.
I asked her how she can tell this when she has never seen my hair down, then I told her that I do a split end trip every couple of weeks, and if you leave it any longer than a couple of weeks between split end trims then your asking for splits to travel up your hair and make you go bald. Then I asked her how often she does hers and she said she doesn't, so I tutted and shook my head :) she didn't make any more comments after that.

[FantasyBoudicca]

My mum is conscious about water consumption from me washing my (longest and thickest in the family) hair, so she gave precisely zero f***s about me swapping from washing the full length of my hair every alternate day to me scalp-washing every alternate day and properly washing every 4++ days. All she said was that so long as my hair didn't smell unwashed - it's Singapore and I'm a teenage girl, it happens - she didn't mind. She has her hair in a bob, btw, simply because she can't be bothered with long hair, so she's all for doing whatever reduces the amount of time, money and effort spent on my hair except for cutting it short (since I didn't care much for it when I did actually cut it).

[truepeacenik]

As someone in a scent free workplace, I have to be sure my hair is neutral in scent.
It can smell like me, but it cannot broadcast that scent at all. Tough when the massage room gets to be 80 in the afternoons.

I wash my scalp alternating days. The ends might get a rinse, but it is not intended.
A proper wash, with my dilute shampoo going down the length, happens once a week. Sometimes the ends want a conditioning in between, and I can do that in the bathroom sink, considering "ends" to be up to 12 inches.

In a desperate situation, I can use a peppermint and rosemary spray on my scalp.

This observation raised hackles in the water/sebum only thread, but I smell an identifier scent on my sebum. It also picks up environmental scent. Again, I need to be neutral and low-broadcast. So I scratch my head and test the scent. If I smell me, everyone else could.
That keeps me in scalp washes, albeit with very dilute SLS free shampoo. I need a superwetting ingredient, in my situation.

I've been around monthly washers. It's not for me. Too much personal scent!

[Spinder]

My Mom got mad at me for cutting my own hair even though I have been doing it for a couple of years now. She insists on going to a hairdresser even though I have repeatedly said why I don't want to do that. :rolleyes:

[TatsuOni]

My Mom got mad at me for cutting my own hair even though I have been doing it for a couple of years now. She insists on going to a hairdresser even though I have repeatedly said why I don't want to do that. :rolleyes:

I'm so happy that my parents didn't care when I began cutting my own hair at age 15!

[sommer]

I'm so happy that my parents didn't care when I began cutting my own hair at age 15!

Yeah, the same about me! :) My mon even inspired me with changing my hairstyle backing to that days :) But on the other had she really didn't like my experimnets with the colour on my head, especially such bright like on these photos http://hairstylezz.com/best-green-hair-ideas-mint-lime-emerald-pastel-dark/14/ :D:eek: We had a lot of arguments about this... Thanks God that my friends and lover were always ok with that :)

[TatsuOni]

Yeah, the same about me! :) My mon even inspired me with changing my hairstyle backing to that days :) But on the other had she really didn't like my experimnets with the colour on my head, especially such bright like on these photos http://hairstylezz.com/best-green-hair-ideas-mint-lime-emerald-pastel-dark/14/ :D:eek: We had a lot of arguments about this... Thanks God that my friends and lover were always ok with that :)

My parents let me do what ever I wanted with my hair at that age. I thought that my mother would react when I got a sidecut, but she didn't care:p

[ChloeDharma]

May I ask why you put vajayjay cream on your scalp? What are the benefits? I'm genuinely curious, I've never heard of this before :D Also, what type of vajayjay cream??

There's a VERY long thread on this, search "monistat" and you should find it. Over here (I notice you are in the UK) the antifungal chemical in Monistat is in Daktarin treatment for athletes foot. I've never tried it myself but many people report growth spurts from using it.

As for the original question, no I don't get hassle from people. I'm known for being aggressively assertive and having a bad temper so people who know me generally know that it wouldn't be worth the backlash. If topics like that come up then they are generally just interested or looking for ideas to try themselves.

[hobbitlocks]

Oh, Neverremember, I can really emphasize with you on this. I actually have a really good, supportive, friendly relationship with my mom, but she thinks my desire to have long hair is WEIRD and does not try to hide it. Even when my hair was relatively shorter (I fluctuated between shoulder and apl for like 15 years) she was always trying to convince me to cut it shorter. Now that it's at waist+ she just can't handle it haha. It's the only thing we bicker about. I generally just wear my hair up when I see her, but if I shower during the visit and have it down to dry... there we go again. Maybe I should just try never washing it when I see her ;)

The best was on a recent visit I had done a cool braid and we were out somewhere and I got several compliments and she finally was like "yeah, I guess that does look cool..." :cool: At the same time, I figure if these are the worst interactions we have, I'm pretty lucky on the parental front!

[lapushka]

I've been around monthly washers. It's not for me. Too much personal scent!

My mom is a monthly washer, and she doesn't smell, I can assure you. She just doesn't produce sebum, as she has extremely dry scalp (no flaking, but just it doesn't produce sebum). I think it's a bit of a stretch saying everybody who is a monthly washer smells!

[kyoung221]

I have had these sorts of comments a few times, but one of my favourites was a woman at work who has never seen my hair down, she told me my hair was far too long and must have so many split ends so I should cut it to at least above my waist so it will be thicker, bouncier and full of life. I wouldn't mind if this was based on her observation but as I wear my hair covered with a head scarf and hard hat all day at work, and she's never seen it loose, how can she judge how many split ends I have, or how it would look better at any other length.
I asked her how she can tell this when she has never seen my hair down, then I told her that I do a split end trip every couple of weeks, and if you leave it any longer than a couple of weeks between split end trims then your asking for splits to travel up your hair and make you go bald. Then I asked her how often she does hers and she said she doesn't, so I tutted and shook my head :) she didn't make any more comments after that.

Wow, some people just lack the brain-mouth filter! I couldn't imagine saying that to a coworker (or pretty much anyone, for that matter)! Nice comeback, though, about the split ends. ;-)

[Hairkay]

I've long been in the habit not to talk about what I use for personal washing unless it becomes necessary. I've had to live with alternative washing habits since childhood due to severe allergies and I'm well aware that anything that seems to deviate from the popular products can shock some and disgust others. My friend knows why I don't use shampoo and can admire how well I can keep my hair, yet she will still mention the odd comment about no shampoo or soap means it does not get clean. Some can't just get their head around it and they'll insist that you comply to how they do things even if you let them know that that is harmful to you.

I did tell mother that I'd stopped using the doc recommended concoction for hair because all it did was dry out the hair and did not improve my flaky scalp. Mother was already used to my allergy situation. She loved the way my hair looked without the concoction.

It would be best to learn not to proclaim personal cleansing methods to everyone. Oh and I always get two bottles of vinegar, one for the kitchen and one for the bathroom. I've had visitors and so far no one has queried why I have vinegar, a bottle of olive oil, a tub of coconut oil and some dish washing up liquid on the shelves there. I use the vinegar both for cleaning (extremely hard water area) and for the odd hair rinse. The oil is for hair and the dish washing liquid is for cleaning up any oil spills.

[sommer]

My parents let me do what ever I wanted with my hair at that age. I thought that my mother would react when I got a sidecut, but she didn't care:p

Your parents are definetely cool :)

[SpiderMonkey]

An ex was having dry scalp issues, and he tried some of the avocado oil I was using on my hair. He mentioned how much it helped to his mom & sister, and they laughed at him, appalled someone would put "salad dressing" on their scalp.

When people make fun of products that aren't mainstream, it is so difficult not to point out how unhealthy their hair looks.:brickwall

[TatsuOni]

Your parents are definetely cool :)

They are:)

[mindwiped]

Hubby is beginning to figure out that my hair doesn't look good when I shampoo it every day, but it bothers him if I don't at least wet it. When I was trying not to he would complain that my scalp 'smelled' So I started WO daily, shampooing about twice a week, exactly add I had been, maybe less in winter, and CO as needed for frizz, exactly add I had been. I know wetting my hair isn't going to make any smell go away, but it shuts him up, and since I've very thin, very fine hair, it dries quickly, so it's not too hard on me.

Now last winter, I had an excuse, I'd been put on a medicated shampoo, and it was stripping away everything! My scalp would get so dry it hurt, so even he understood why I wasn't shampooing daily, and the medicinal scent was really staying. That meant he couldn't smell anything, so he was fine with it.

He knows I put all sorts of concoctions on my hair, and generally doesn't care, unless it smells bad. Since he was out of town this week, I played and put a combo of egg and castor oil. We'd been hot and dryer than normal, so I wanted some protein and moisture. Of course, I do that, we rain for 2 days and our humidity is back into the normal range for summer (65-99%).

[lapushka]

Hubby is beginning to figure out that my hair doesn't look good when I shampoo it every day, but it bothers him if I don't at least wet it. When I was trying not to he would complain that my scalp 'smelled' So I started WO daily, shampooing about twice a week, exactly add I had been, maybe less in winter, and CO as needed for frizz, exactly add I had been. I know wetting my hair isn't going to make any smell go away, but it shuts him up, and since I've very thin, very fine hair, it dries quickly, so it's not too hard on me.

Now last winter, I had an excuse, I'd been put on a medicated shampoo, and it was stripping away everything! My scalp would get so dry it hurt, so even he understood why I wasn't shampooing daily, and the medicinal scent was really staying. That meant he couldn't smell anything, so he was fine with it.

He knows I put all sorts of concoctions on my hair, and generally doesn't care, unless it smells bad. Since he was out of town this week, I played and put a combo of egg and castor oil. We'd been hot and dryer than normal, so I wanted some protein and moisture. Of course, I do that, we rain for 2 days and our humidity is back into the normal range for summer (65-99%).

This irks me for some reason. Being the person I am, I would most certainly even try to stretch further. :lol: But I'm stubborn like that. LOL!

[Jadestorm]

Hubby is beginning to figure out that my hair doesn't look good when I shampoo it every day, but it bothers him if I don't at least wet it. When I was trying not to he would complain that my scalp 'smelled' That's not very nice of him. Surely a scalp does not smell after a day. It just doesn't smell like shampoo! ;) If it's making you self-conscious about the 'smell', perhaps just mist some demineralized water with a drop essential oil (one that's good for your scalp) on your scalp? Then you'll smell 'fresh' and you don't have to wash when you don't want to. :)

[ShDiHa]

I discuss my hair routine with my sister and mom only. My mother is cosmetologist, so she understands my hair type and all that. I accidently made a comment that I don't brush my hair and my step mom pulled a face and said that it was nasty that I didn't brush my hair? How is that nasty? Brushing has nothing to do with cleanliness.

[mindwiped]

This irks me for some reason. Being the person I am, I would most certainly even try to stretch further. :lol: But I'm stubborn like that. LOL!


That's not very nice of him. Surely a scalp does not smell after a day. It just doesn't smell like shampoo! ;) If it's making you self-conscious about the 'smell', perhaps just mist some demineralized water with a drop essential oil (one that's good for your scalp) on your scalp? Then you'll smell 'fresh' and you don't have to wash when you don't want to. :)

Most of the complaints are only when we're spooning as we go to sleep, and since I'm the little soon, his nose is right in my scalp. If there's a tune someone's going to notice it, it's when it's literally inches away from you, to give him some credit.

I could try the mister thing, and if I'm really pressed for time, right now I'll just dampen it, or spray it with one of my leave in products, and he doesn't seem to smell it then, but that takes about a much time as just dampening, and if I wanna refresh my wurley's, I'm dampening anyways, so it's not much extra in the effort department

[truepeacenik]

My mom is a monthly washer, and she doesn't smell, I can assure you. She just doesn't produce sebum, as she has extremely dry scalp (no flaking, but just it doesn't produce sebum). I think it's a bit of a stretch saying everybody who is a monthly washer smells!

I said, personal scent. That's isn't the same as smelling. Eating meat and sweating it through is smelling. People are wired to react to others' scents.
Also, not producing sebum isn't the norm, so your mom's case is special.

[Elizabethanne]

This is very interesting. Most people here don't bat an eye when I say I don't wash everyday. I think most girls in my area of town know it's unhealthy to wash everyday. However my sister is visiting from out of town this weekend and when I took my hair out from a bun she definitely made comments, oh wow it's so long! Then also she noticed I hadn't washed my hair in two days which to her is insane because she shampoos once a day everyday and conditions twice a day. I tried to explain to her that her scalp is over producing oil cause she over washes but we just agreed to keep doing what we're doing and not bother each other LOL

[Katem]

I wash my hair about once a week and get so much crap for it. but since I've started doing that, my hair has grown longer and healthier than ever before (despite me bleaching it 3 times in one month.)

I also have a friend who tells me false stuff all the time because "her mom is a hair stylist". just because your mama knows stuff doesn't mean you do! my friend told me that ripping a brush through your hair is better than slowly pulling apart knots. she also says organic hair care is stupid and I'm an idiot for liking it. one time I had her mom dye my hair, and aside from her totally dying it the wrong color, she brushed it from top to bottom and yanked out tons of my hair. she also says cutting your hair stimulates it to grow :rolleyes:

[Decoy24601]

I wash my hair about once a week and get so much crap for it. but since I've started doing that, my hair has grown longer and healthier than ever before (despite me bleaching it 3 times in one month.)

I also have a friend who tells me false stuff all the time because "her mom is a hair stylist". just because your mama knows stuff doesn't mean you do! my friend told me that ripping a brush through your hair is better than slowly pulling apart knots. she also says organic hair care is stupid and I'm an idiot for liking it. one time I had her mom dye my hair, and aside from her totally dying it the wrong color, she brushed it from top to bottom and yanked out tons of my hair. she also says cutting your hair stimulates it to grow :rolleyes:

Whoa, I've never had a stylist yank a brush or comb through my hair top to bottom. They normally take great care in detangling my hair before cutting it. The only thing I've been told to do by stylists is to clarify more often and that they didn't think whatever I was using on my hair for shampoo and conditioner was doing any good, which was true.

This "friend" doesn't sound very nice or supportive...

[Katem]

yeah when her mom did that, I was shocked! she was yanking so hard I started tearing up lol. when I got home, my hair felt so damaged

[Katem]

I'm new here so idk how to edit & im not sure if double posting is allowed but I wanted to say I love your hair! it is so beautiful

[Entangled]

I'm new here so idk how to edit & im not sure if double posting is allowed but I wanted to say I love your hair! it is so beautiful

You can edit posts once you hit 25 quality posts, I believe.

[Neverremember]

I just wanted to say that I have been reading everyone's replies in this thread and I'm glad I made since it made it realize this is no special snowflake phenomenon. Almost everyone has some negative experience to report and suggested not talking about it or changing the subject or lying. I am not sure this is me. That said, I have decided to simply grow my hair longer and stronger and have it speak for itself. After all, I know that more than hair care misconceptions, my mother has some control issues with me and no amount of talking is going to change that. I am pressing the ignore button.

[Upside Down]

It is really interesting to read how common everyday washing is in US.

Here it is considered unhealthy. And when you say you need to wash once a week, you get a "lucky you". Most of my friends wash every 3-4 days.

I get odd looks when I say i wash my scalp only, without wetting the hair, but it is more like "i wish I could do that". Also hair up is a weird thing. I get all sorts of comments like "why have it long if it is up all the time" and "if mine was that long I'd never put it up" etc