Help Needed.

[Seratopia]

Just wanted to post here and say hello. I just joined and am excited to learn about hair care and what it needs to grow.

Unfortunately, my hair currently is a mess. I have 1b/F/i hair that reaches just above my breasts. And it always stops growing here. My goal is to get my hair back to health after 19 years of damage and as well waist length (I know - huge goals here). I recently dyed my hair a redish color months back and want to grow that out... My ends of my hair are filled with split ends (Funny because I JUST sat down for hours two days ago individually cutting off every split end I saw and thought I did good because none were in sight. Today, they're all back. My ends are also filled with white ball things where the hair below the ball if pulled comes right off with no effort.

I want to say that growing up, my mom never taught me that hair needs special treatment to grow. She didn't know either so I can't blame her. I have trouble just doing hairstyles as basic as a pony tail because I'm so late to learn anything. I wore my hair down my whole life and any way I style my hair differently be it a braid or pony, I feel insecure and hideous.

My current routine I do is:

Atleast drink three 16.9 fl ounces of water a day (I used to go days without drinking anything, maybe three sips of tea a day at best for years) Just never feel thirsty but now I force myself to drink.

Oil hair with coconut oil every three days. (Should I oil my ends everyday?)

Air dry. No heat.

I sleep with my hair down. Should I try putting it up? I also have a cotton pillow case. Trying to get a silk one but would microfiber work instead in meantime?

Thanks for your time. Any help is appreciated.

[Johannah]

I would give you the advice to do a bigger trim to get rid of the damage. I know it's no fun, but in the long run it will probably be a better decision than just growing it out and realize you need to cut it anyway. You could also just maintain for a while instead. Wear it up as well; there's a challenge here on the forum. This will help you a lot with the breakage!

About the oiling: did you try to oil your hair before washing it? You definitely could use it everyday, just try if it works. It might work wonders or maybe even the opposite, but you only know if you try this.

As for the rest I'd suggest a sleeping cap (you can buy this on etsy) or at least put it up (a high bun or braid).

What is the rest of your routine? Do you use conditioner, leave-in? Masks?

[vampyyri]

What products do you use? Also, do you have a picture of your hair so we can get a better idea of what's going on with it?

[Seratopia]

Yes, I oil before I wash. Today was different. Currently sitting in oil. But will wash it out to post a pic here in a bit. Usually I oil the night before and the morning I wash it out.

Products I use. I don't have a set routine with this yet. I WAS using garnier grow strong fructis fortifying shampoo, conditioner, hair mask, and the serum. I wash my hair whenever I oil (every three days) so I wash about two times a week along with these products.

Is that a good brand? Need something good but inexpensive because we are low on money. Having a rough time with job hunting. Thanks for your replies!

[Anje]

Start working on putting your hair up. I know you're not used it it, and it looks weird, but we all start out pretty bad at doing that and get better through practice. Get used to how your whole face looks, not just the front of it. It'll take a while, and your braids will look messy at first, but you'll get better. Personally, I think practicing on slow evenings before bed is a good time, because there's no pressure for it to look good or for you to finish in a hurry to get where you've got to be. You'll have to experiment a bit, but I'd say a quality jaw clip (no sharp edges) is probably a better choice than an elastic for holding up buns, as elastics tend to pull uncomfortably and lead to breakage after a while. I like sticks and forks and stiff U-shaped hairpins even better, but they've got slight learning curve.

I'm going to bet that if you look at the chairs that you usually sit in and where they hit your back, your hair starts splitting right about at that level. Leaning against your hair, shifting around while you're leaning on it, all that stuff really adds up when it comes to damage. (This is really apparent in college lecture pits, I've noticed.) If you don't have it up on a given day, pull it over your shoulder so it's not behind you when you sit, every time. Keep it from getting caught under the straps of your purse/bag/backpack.

For sleep, a lot of people swear by silk pillowcases (standard polyester satin tends to feel unpleasant on my face, and I think many others agree). Others braid or bun their hair. I tend to keep mine loose inside a satin sleep bonnet ($2-3 in the ethnic haircare section in big box stores and pharmacies), which keeps it from ending up under me while giving my scalp a break. Some who hold still just throw it over their pillow loose, but I move too much for that! I'm not convinced that sleep is when most people damage their hair, unless they have a tendency to rub their heads back and forth over their pillow as a soothing thing.

One of my simplest recommendations is simply to slow down when you're combing/brushing your hair. If you hit a tangle, don't power through it. Don't grab the hair above it to protect your scalp and yank. Put down the comb and poke through the snarl with your fingers, pulling the un-involved bits of it out until you get it to fall apart. Work on getting the bottom few inches detangled, then start a few inches higher, repeating til you have everything combed out. If you're in a rush or a bad mood, don't bother combing your hair at all. Just wad it up, clip it up with a jaw clip, and deal with it when you get a bit of breathing space. Clipped up, it won't get any worse.

ETA: Brands don't matter, as long as it works for your hair. Seriously, I use Suave Naturals most of the time, with a little Herbal Essences conditioner when I want something heavier. And then I dilute that shampoo about 20x, so a $2 bottle could last me a year. Experimentation and reading ingredients to figure out what does and doesn't work for you is a lot more important.

[vampyyri]

Putting your hair up at least if you're around the house or when you get home from work is a good first step in getting used to having it up. It really protects the hair from further damage. Sleeping in a braid is a good thing to do, especially if you pre-oil it—because when you wake up the next morning you have nice manageable waves! Also, don't over brush your hair (one of my worst habits that I just kicked) because that seriously obliterates the ends. I personally don't use a silk pillowcase or sleep cap, as I'm a very oily person and it makes it worse.

As for brands, you just need to use what works best for you! A lot of us on here thrive on Suave Naturals or V05, which is a really nice cheap option that works!

[lapushka]

Those white dots are typical heat damage. They will snap off if you pull at them, but they will hang on for dear life if you just leave them alone. I grew mine out from shoulder to hip because I didn't feel like having it cut into a pixie. Later we had to cut from hip back to BSL, but hey at least I didn't have short hair.

Try and manipulate it as little as you can. Limit harsh brushing and only comb it out if possible.

I'd try the microtrimming thread. Snip a little off of your hair each month, your entire growth or half your growth and that way at least you'll be able to preserve the length as much as possible.

[diddiedaisy]

I would also check your scissors are very sharp, if your splits came back the next day it could be blunt scissors.

[missmagoo]

Also, lighting is really important for seeing your split ends. I've found sitting in the shade in the late afternoon is the easiest time for me to S&D for splits. Really bright/direct light makes them hard to see.

[Seratopia]

I hope these pics are adequate. My hair is freshly oiled and washed.

Full body:
http://m.imgur.com/kU9Kerf

Random hair section
http://imgur.com/WIAuD0R

I just went to walmart! Got all this ^-^
http://imgur.com/KuTp2xS

[lapushka]

Well, you're on the right track with your new products. :cheer:

And your hair does *not* look bad - at all! I'd not S&D too too much, or it might thin out your hemline, so just be careful with not overdoing that, and only snip the splits. The white dots can hold on for quite some time and they can grow out as you trim slowly (microtrim).

[Seratopia]

Thanks Lapushka :) I've been seeing S&D here a lot, but what does that mean? Sorry ._. Newbie here.

Also among those products I've bought that orange tub thing in the third pic. It's a butter but when should I use this and how often in conjunction with my coconut oiling? I'm so sorry for my lack of knowledge. But I appreciate all the help you beautiful ladies are offering. :)

Oh also forgot to mention I take a hair skin and nail pill.

[lapushka]

Thanks Lapushka :) I've been seeing S&D here a lot, but what does that mean? Sorry ._. Newbie here.

Also among those products I've bought that orange tub thing in the third pic. It's a butter but when should I use this and how often in conjunction with my coconut oiling? I'm so sorry for my lack of knowledge. But I appreciate all the help you beautiful ladies are offering. :)

Oh also forgot to mention I take a hair skin and nail pill.

S&D = search & destroy. You snip individual hairs off that are damaged, yes just the one hair, right above the split (or white dot). If you have a lot of splits and white dots, though, it is better to trim, unless you gravely want to thin out your hemline.

That tub is a hair mask aka deep conditioner, if I'm not mistaken. You can use it instead of your regular conditioner if your hair needs a little extra "oomph". You leave it on for 3-5 min. then rinse it out.

[reilly0167]

I hope these pics are adequate. My hair is freshly oiled and washed.

Full body:
http://m.imgur.com/kU9Kerf

Random hair section
http://imgur.com/WIAuD0R

I just went to walmart! Got all this ^-^
http://imgur.com/KuTp2xS

That's a great starter set:)

[yogagirl]

You hair is beautiful! I know you say you have tons of splits, but once you get a handle on that I am sure you will successfully grow longer. Looks like you have some layers, but your hemline looks even and not frayed, so you are not anywhere near your maximum length. I have read from quite a few members with F hair that they will always have some splits, but with good care (the right products for you and gentle handling) they will be greatly reduced. So I am confident you will find some tips and tricks that will work for you!

Welcome, have fun reading here and happy growing :) :thumbsup:

ETA: you might find the fine hair thread interesting: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=17115

[Seratopia]

Thanks yogogirl. You gave me a lot of hope and encouragement, will definitely check the fine hair section out. I cut off about two inches off earlier just to get rid of the splits and heat damage so I can "restart" caring for my hair or rather it's ends. Right now I have my new hair scarf in and I won't have to worry about my pillow snagging at any strands.

I'm going to head onto the fine hair thread and see what other tips I can learn.

Thanks girls <3

[Johannah]

I don't think your hair looks bad at all! I thought your hair was covered in splits when I read your description, but in the picture you can't even see them, so that's a good sign!

Like I said, I think having a bigger trim like you just did is a great way to start. Take care of your hair, no heat damage and whats-however, and you'll definitely grow further than BSL!

Also one tip: I see you bought a brush, but make sure you have a wide-tooth comb as well (the one from the body shop is a good one to start with). Use this comb to detangle your hair before you use the brush (or even don't use the brush at all, if you can).

Good luck with everything! :flower:

[LillithTheFirst]

Ah, those photos remind me of when I dyed by hair copper. The chemical damage meant brushing my hair was a whole lot of breakage everywhere. Basically all the breakage mid shaft has resulted in kind of "layers" and thinning/tapering. I don't think you should bother with S&D-ing as your hair is all layered and you will get really tired. You can spend a whole day doing it and get nowhere....
Just get a creaClip that you can trim off the ends bluntly every month and maintain your current length for a while before you continue growing it long. Otherwise you'll just be getting a lot of breakage as you try to go to waist.
Ponytails are banned. Stick with braids or buns secured with a stick of one of those big clips you bought.

[Seratopia]

I don't think your hair looks bad at all! I thought your hair was covered in splits when I read your description, but in the picture you can't even see them, so that's a good sign!

Like I said, I think having a bigger trim like you just did is a great way to start. Take care of your hair, no heat damage and whats-however, and you'll definitely grow further than BSL!

Also one tip: I see you bought a brush, but make sure you have a wide-tooth comb as well (the one from the body shop is a good one to start with). Use this comb to detangle your hair before you use the brush (or even don't use the brush at all, if you can).

Good luck with everything! :flower:

The brush I bought is a boar bristled brush from goody. Even this one is harmful? I read an article a few days ago saying this was a must have item to keep hair healthy. If it's still the case, my significant other has a typical metal comb he never uses. The teeth of the comb starts out wide spaced but then gradually shift to narrower. Is this one okay? Just trying to make use of what I have around the house before I buy another.

To LillithTheFirst: Yes, and I vow to never dye my hair again. It's not worth the damage it causes. Not to mention how I didn't even want red hair to begin with. I asked for a purpley color with a wee hint of red.

Like this. I shown her this.
http://m.imgur.com/PR8fY17

She said she thought more red would look nicer added into the dye because of my blue/green eyes and I asked her how much experience she had in this field. She said over 40 years, so I said okay. Lets go for it. Omg it wasn't purple at all but Ronald McDonald color. That was the day my significant other's dad came to the states to see his family, first time meeting me, and I looked like a hot mess. I was embarrassed. Should've said something to the hairdresser but I knew it would just damage me further and I just took it like a champ. At least it's tones out now, I'm just missing my natural color.

Sorry for long post. I had to get that one out lol.

[Seratopia]

Aw, picture didn't show.

Well here's the color I wanted LillithTheFirst if you're curious. I think it's such a pretty one.
http://imgur.com/PR8fY17

And Johannah here's what comb I was referring to.
http://m.imgur.com/xIHBPeY

Is that one suitable?

[Decoy24601]

The brush I bought is a boar bristled brush from goody. Even this one is harmful? I read an article a few days ago saying this was a must have item to keep hair healthy. If it's still the case, my significant other has a typical metal comb he never uses. The teeth of the comb starts out wide spaced but then gradually shift to narrower. Is this one okay? Just trying to make use of what I have around the house before I buy another.

To LillithTheFirst: Yes, and I vow to never dye my hair again. It's not worth the damage it causes. Not to mention how I didn't even want red hair to begin with. I asked for a purpley color with a wee hint of red.

Like this. I shown her this.
http://m.imgur.com/PR8fY17

She said she thought more red would look nicer added into the dye because of my blue/green eyes and I asked her how much experience she had in this field. She said over 40 years, so I said okay. Lets go for it. Omg it wasn't purple at all but Ronald McDonald color. That was the day my significant other's dad came to the states to see his family, first time meeting me, and I looked like a hot mess. I was embarrassed. Should've said something to the hairdresser but I knew it would just damage me further and I just took it like a champ. At least it's tones out now, I'm just missing my natural color.

Sorry for long post. I had to get that one out lol.

Boar Bristle Brushes aren't really necessary for healthy hair. Some people on here say it's a little rough on their hair, but plenty use them without issues. It does help distribute sebum from your roots down the length of your hair though, which is beneficial. What's more important is to stop using the kind's of brushes that have little plastic balls on the end and seamed combs. I mainly use a seamless horn comb, but some people use wood or seamless plastic (not the kind you buy in a drugstore). The point is to avoid things that will snag your hair.

I've used a BBB by goody and didn't like it. The bristles were short and closely spaced together so it didn't penetrate my hair at all, but I have lots of thick hair. That's more of a personal preference though.

[Anya15]

I think a metal comb might damage your hair?

Your hair looks pretty good. I'd suggest micro trimming every month until you grow out the damage. Then you can start growing. :).

Those products are a good start! At your length, I almost exclusively wore braids and claw clip buns. Avoid ponytails and braid/bun your hair as often as possible. You have a great hemline btw!

[Johannah]

The brush I bought is a boar bristled brush from goody. Even this one is harmful? I read an article a few days ago saying this was a must have item to keep hair healthy. If it's still the case, my significant other has a typical metal comb he never uses. The teeth of the comb starts out wide spaced but then gradually shift to narrower. Is this one okay? Just trying to make use of what I have around the house before I buy another.

To LillithTheFirst: Yes, and I vow to never dye my hair again. It's not worth the damage it causes. Not to mention how I didn't even want red hair to begin with. I asked for a purpley color with a wee hint of red.

Like this. I shown her this.
http://m.imgur.com/PR8fY17

She said she thought more red would look nicer added into the dye because of my blue/green eyes and I asked her how much experience she had in this field. She said over 40 years, so I said okay. Lets go for it. Omg it wasn't purple at all but Ronald McDonald color. That was the day my significant other's dad came to the states to see his family, first time meeting me, and I looked like a hot mess. I was embarrassed. Should've said something to the hairdresser but I knew it would just damage me further and I just took it like a champ. At least it's tones out now, I'm just missing my natural color.

Sorry for long post. I had to get that one out lol.


Aw, picture didn't show.

Well here's the color I wanted LillithTheFirst if you're curious. I think it's such a pretty one.
http://imgur.com/PR8fY17

And Johannah here's what comb I was referring to.
http://m.imgur.com/xIHBPeY

Is that one suitable?

About the boar bristle brush; this is not a real one. I see some plastic in there (right?). You need to make sure you have 100% boar bristles (no plastic and definitely NO NYLON). This will cause damage. Also, I would really be careful with it since you have fine hair. It might damage your hair, there are a lot of people around here who had damage because of it.

About the comb: I would use a wide tooth comb like this: https://img.makeupalley.com/6/9/7/6/1388859.JPG

If you don't want to buy other stuff, you could also detangle with your fingers first and then use that comb you showed a picture of. But I'd highly suggest a wide tooth comb.

Hope that helped :flower:

[Decoy24601]

About the boar bristle brush; this is not a real one. I see some plastic in there (right?). You need to make sure you have 100% boar bristles (no plastic and definitely NO NYLON). This will cause damage. Also, I would really be careful with it since you have fine hair. It might damage your hair, there are a lot of people around here who had damage because of it.

About the comb: I would use a wide tooth comb like this: https://img.makeupalley.com/6/9/7/6/1388859.JPG

If you don't want to buy other stuff, you could also detangle with your fingers first and then use that comb you showed a picture of. But I'd highly suggest a wide tooth comb.

Hope that helped :flower:

Agreed, I tried using a synthetic nylon brush and it really tore up my hair.

[eadwine]

One downside about the wooden combs is they get SO dirty and are hard to clean. I had one and it is the whole reason I switched to the TT.

If I could find a CHEAP no seams acrylic or whathaveyou material that is easy to clean with water and soap comb I might get it.

[Seratopia]

Johannah: Yes, definitely helped. Everyones input is welcomed and appreciated. I'm going to look into getting that comb, but for now until I get a little more money, I'll have to settle with the metal one with finger untangling like you mentioned. Thank you for your tips and support.

Anou: Awesome! I guess I'm on the right track because that's what I started to do today. I'm getting a little bit better at putting my hair up in the jaw clips and braids. Pair having your hair a certain way your whole life (just parted on side left down) and social anxiety it gets a little unnerving being around others who notice your changes. It's a good change but I rather not draw attention to myself and when I get stares I feel like I did the hairstyle wrong lol.

[Seratopia]

I hate double posting but I can't edit and I have to ask. I read you guys have a challange thread to encourage people to put their hair up? I've been looking around and couldn't find any challange thread of the sort. Could someone direct me to where it is? I saw the hairstyle of the day section but I don't think that's what you guys are referring to.

[Decoy24601]

I hate double posting but I can't edit and I have to ask. I read you guys have a challange thread to encourage people to put their hair up? I've been looking around and couldn't find any challange thread of the sort. Could someone direct me to where it is? I saw the hairstyle of the day section but I don't think that's what you guys are referring to.

Here you go: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=102

:)

[lapushka]

About the boar bristle brush; this is not a real one. I see some plastic in there (right?). You need to make sure you have 100% boar bristles (no plastic and definitely NO NYLON). This will cause damage. Also, I would really be careful with it since you have fine hair. It might damage your hair, there are a lot of people around here who had damage because of it.

I think this is a YMMV thing. My BBB has nylon and it is needed to get through to the scalp. I don't use my BBB anymore, though (wavy texture).

[yogagirl]

You're welcome Seratopia!

Regarding the brush, I agree, with your hair type (fine and prone to splitting) I wouldn't risk it with the brush. Definitely don't do the 100 brush strokes per day! That would definitely kill your ends :( you can still use it to smooth out your hair if you'd like, a few gentle brush strokes here or there and ONLY after detangling with a comb first.

Personally I have this horn comb: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00K23RKRG/ref=mp_s_a_1_17_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1469361588&sr=8-17&keywords=breezelike+comb+wide&pi=SY200_QL40

I am very happy with it. It glides through hair and makes it magically shiny. Not sure how that works but it does :)

[Goatcraft]

I would suggest chopping or maintaining. It's pointless to S&D when your hair is severely damaged from chemicals. You'll end up giving yourself some seriously uneven hair! I would just maintain at a shorter length until the damage is gone - that's also what I did. I use to bleach and dye.

[Seratopia]

*-*UPDATE*-*

Just want to give you guys a big thank you! I started my new adjusted routine with my hair and I have to tell you it feels amazing to touch! I oiled and washed my hair with that new shampoo + conditioner + mask trio, untangle my hair just with my fingers and comb and wear my hair scarf to bed and two days later it STILL feels like I just stepped out of the shower that's how hydrated and healthy my hair stays. And better yet. I see no new damage. Can't wait to oil again tomorrow.

Also! I learned how to do a side dutch braid last night against me feeling like it's impossible for someone like me to learn. A few strands came loose though :( But I'm going to wear it anyway because I hid them. :) I'm very excited for my new hair journey!

Thanks again Ladies! (And men if you're among us lol)

[Seratopia]

Oh and no more wearing my hair down! It's either in a braid or clip.

[Anje]

Sounds excellent! I'm glad it's already feeling better!

Keep working on the updos. It's very much a learned skill, not just something that some people are automatically good at and the rest of us can't manage. :) Besides, "messy " is totally a thing for hairstyles, so you can shrug it off if it's not sleek and perfect.

[Johannah]

Yeey! Congrats! :)