Unfrumpy bun styles?

[joyfulmom4]

In another post, someone mentioned about buns looking severe and frumpy or old-ladyish. I'm 40 and feel that certain styles really do look older and more frumpy. But I don't think buns or updos have to look matronly.

I know my age makes a difference, since at 20, you're less likely to look old no matter what you're wearing. But at 40, you have to be more conscious of these things. My hair is hip length, thick and wavy. I have just a touch of grey here and there with a little more grey concentrated at the temples. When my hair is down and loose, you don't notice the grey nearly as much. But when I put it up, the grey areas at the temples shows more prominently, so that contributes to the older look.

I'm not so good at doing a variety of updo styles. I mostly do basic braids, cinnamon buns, braided buns and sometimes french braids. Some styles seem too young for me (like the "caterpillar" type ponytails, high ponytails, pigtails, pigtail braids, sometimes I even wonder about french braids). But I don't want to project a frumpy look.

Any suggestions on good-looking updos for 40-somethings who want to look stylish and professional and not frumpy or old-fashioned? Accessories do seem to affect the overall look, so hair accessory ideas would be great too. And keep in mind, this heavy hair needs something that can really hold well. Most hair toys available in regular stores don't work for me.

Thanks!

[Teacherbear]

I like the bee-butt bun. It is a fun-bun. :cheese:

[Wavelength]

I think a braided bun is the opposite of frumpy. To me, it's attractive, elegant and looks more elaborate than it really is, especially if you weave a ribbon through it.

[Chromis]

Log rolls always look sleek and professional, French braids are timeless and classic for all ages, cinnamon buns don't look dowdy in the slightest, figure-eights are a good professional style with a bit of flair, ditto on infinity buns, Gibraltar buns, Chinese buns (though I'd be careful not to use too long a stick).

Gray hair is most emphatically not frumpy! The other styles you mention I would not wear in a professional setting no matter what your age. As for accessories, it depends greatly on what your tastes and clothing lean towards. I would recommend a Ficcare for a good start though since they are very office-friendly and can be used for a variety of styles...plus they are the very best thing I've found for log rolls which are my standard office hairstyle :wink:

[Gumball]

I'm with Wavelength on suggesting a braided bun. They tend to look awesome whenever they're worn. You could also try a Chinese bun and see how that might work out for you.

[LilyMunster]

French twist held with the Ficcare Max is a professional look. A high infinity bun held with a quality wood fork is a possibility as well.
Avoid plastic hairsticks for the office. Wood or metal is fine. A french braid is a classic and I wish I could do one myself.

[Magdalene]

Placement and how tightly you pull your hair back makes a difference, I need a bit of something around my face to keep from looking severe.

[LutraLutra]

You could perhaps try making your bun look a little less neat and slightly more casual - when you pull your hair back try not pulling it back tight to your head and don't worry about any stray hairs.

Or maybe if you mostly wear you bun in the same place (um... on your head?:) ) your could try wearing it higher or lower or to the side. Sometimes just a little change can make you feel different.

[misstwist]

I think a braided bun is the opposite of frumpy. To me, it's attractive, elegant and looks more elaborate than it really is, especially if you weave a ribbon through it.

I agree, I get the very most compliments when wearing a braided bun. Also, if you can rope braid that looks very cool bunned, too.

[melikai]

Placement and how tightly you pull your hair back makes a difference, I need a bit of something around my face to keep from looking severe.

I agree. If you do two twists on either side or somesuch it can soften the look. I don't think most people look good with a tight, super slicked back bun - too severe for the majority.

[joyfulmom4]

Thanks for the ideas. I'm going to have to try out some new bun types. It's hard to get them right though. Maybe my hair tools aren't good enough or I'm just clumsy, but my hair seems to fall out of my updos and they turn out sloppy and crooked sometimes.

I also have to put a hair elastic in at the base of my ponytail when I make a bun. Otherwise, it slips and falls out. Do other people do this or do you just twist the bun up and it stays? Most of the time when I talk to people about hairstyling, nobody can relate b/c their hair is nowhere near as long or as thick. They can clip regular barrettes around their ponytails, etc. My hair is a different story. But I know there are members here with even more hair than me, so I'm looking forward to hearing tips from them.

Several of you have mentioned the large Ficcare. Is there a cheaper alternative that would work? I can't afford the Ficcare right now. Or maybe could the same do's be put up with a different styling aid? What do you suggest?

[joyfulmom4]

Oh, one more thing. People mention putting hair up more loosely, not pulling back tight against the head. Can anyone help me with ideas about how to keep the front loose but still have the bun tight and secure, not drooping and falling? I can't seem to get both features together in one do.

[Chromis]

Oh, one more thing. People mention putting hair up more loosely, not pulling back tight against the head. Can anyone help me with ideas about how to keep the front loose but still have the bun tight and secure, not drooping and falling? I can't seem to get both features together in one do.

I personally find that slicked back looks neater on straight or straightish hair. I may be alone in the opinion, but it just looks messy otherwise. Curlies and strong wavies can leave tendrils out and have it look purposeful just fine.

I do not use or even own any bands for making ponytails. My hair isn't as thick as yours, but it is longer. You may find that braiding before you bun makes it easier to manage. That way you can get the motions down without any hair trying to slither away.

Nothing else has quite the holding power as a Ficcare for me and it's the only tool that will hold up a log roll on my hair. I know others have success with slides and Flexi8's on that style though. Buns can be held just as well with a nice fork or sticks (I find forks give me the best hold and are more beginner-friendly) but as mentioned above, look for wooden and metal ones. Aside from looking more professional, they are much less likely to snap in long thick hair!

[eresh]

You can also try bunning a herringbonebraid (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=38&pictureid=6111).
It looks like a snake wrapped around a stick...
Definitely not granny like ;-)

[Vitalai]

You can also try bunning a herringbonebraid (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=38&pictureid=6111).
It looks like a snake wrapped around a stick...
Definitely not granny like ;-)

That is just amazing! :thud:

I would also recommend the rope braid bun. I think they look very elegant.

[joyfulmom4]

You can also try bunning a herringbonebraid (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=38&pictureid=6111).
It looks like a snake wrapped around a stick...
Definitely not granny like ;-)

How do I get to see this? I get a message saying that I don't have access to view this page. :(

[Vitalai]

How do I get to see this? I get a message saying that I don't have access to view this page. :(

You'll need 25+ quality posts to see albums. There's more information on post count and user permissions here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=1658).

[joyfulmom4]

You can also try bunning a herringbonebraid (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=38&pictureid=6111).
It looks like a snake wrapped around a stick...
Definitely not granny like ;-)


You'll need 25+ quality posts to see albums. There's more information on post count and user permissions here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=1658).

Ah, OK. Well I guess I'll have to hang around a little longer and see if I can make 25+ semi-intelligent comments. lol! I did google the herringbone braid and I recognize it. Isn't it sometimes referred to as a less elegant sounding fishbone braid or something like that? I tried to do it before but made a mess of things. There was a video online that made it look less complicated. One more thing to try...

[Qamar]

The herringbone is the one braid that eludes me. I have never yet been able to follow directions and do one. :(

That said, a rope braid bunned looks beautiful, elegant, and far harder to do than it actually is. I always get compliments and people can never figure out how I did it. *lol*

[susiemw]

That said, a rope braid bunned looks beautiful, elegant, and far harder to do than it actually is. I always get compliments and people can never figure out how I did it. *lol*

I third the rope braid bun... it looks great and not at all matronly.

It takes me so long to do a herringbone braid that I never do it. I might need to try that one again. that is a great pic of the herringbone braid bun. That definitely isn't matronly either!

Susan

[arylkin]

I think how you part your hair makes a huge difference with updos. I think a nice deep side part with a bun secured with a hairstick or fork looks elegant and professional instead of "grandma-ish".

[susiemw]

[quote=eresh;306932]You can also try bunning a herringbonebraid (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=38&pictureid=6111).
quote]

for those of you who didn't click through eresh's entire
album.... let me recommend that you do so. I'm blown away.
She has gorgeous hair and the style are dynamite. And trust me, not one dowdy bun in the lot!!

WOW !! WOW !! WOW!
Nice work.

I want LONG long Long long hair so I can do more more and more!~!! :)

Susan

[Melisande]

I'm 44 and I don't think it's a bad thing to look my age. In many professional situations, I feel the authority that age brings is an asset. I'm taken seriously. I don't feel I have to apologize for my age. And I also don't mind looking matronly. I'm a matron, after all, and proud of it. I don't have to play in a league with spring chickens. I'm absolutely content with my stage of life and feel more self assured than I did at 20.

I find a flipped up bun very beautiful (my hair is slowly getting too long for the ever-classical French twist, and not yet long enough for a log roll). Every bun of those mentioned above, if done properly and held in place with good, solid hair toys, looks good and flattering. Buns don't have to be frumpy, they are just the opposite IMO. I sleek my hair with a good misting and some oil or shea butter if want it to hold really well, and I often twist it a bit above the ears to make it softer around my face. But all in all, the severe style looks good on me.

Good eye make-up (especially important: eyebrows! they can make or break a look) and fitting ear rings are important for a polished look.

I tell myself all the time: keep up your head and take control over your posture. This is my weak point. With good posture and a proud long neck, every updo looks better.

The regal look of the 40something is no less attractive than the youthful look. We just appeal to a different age group :-) which is fine with me. What would I do with a 20 year old admiring me???

[Ponytale]

I am going through the same thing and I tried the flipped bun. One of my friends told me I looked "modern" and less traditional. It also let me keep my side-swept front and was much softer. Many recommend braided buns in this situation (less matronly). I find that interesting because I do get a lot of comments when I wear one--the only problem is my fine hair does not lend itself to being as dramatic in a braided bun as many I see on this site.

[Tangles]

I like a bee butt done high on the head too. Also I know its not a bun but a chignon-looped ponytail type thing is very youthful (or rather, ageless) looking as it shows off some length and thickness.

[misstwist]

I'm a little surprised that 2b/2c hair would slither out of an updo. Not that your hair is "wrong" in any way, just that I had only noticed people with type 1 hair complaining about that.

Anyhoo, I don't have a Ficcare, but I do have a metal fakkare from Goody that I got at Wal-Mart for $2.99. I straightened out the bottom of the beak to make a little more room to stick hair into. Also, the large plastic hairpins give excellent hold for many people.

[misstwist]

I find a flipped up bun very beautiful (my hair is slowly getting too long for the ever-classical French twist, and not yet long enough for a log roll).

Ah, the elusive flipped up bun. I've seen one picture of that and can't quite get it to work (or find the pic again). I notice that the Hair Style Dictionary on Samikha's blog indicates she is still looking instructions for this.

Melisande, you would be doing us a real favor to put together a tutorial on this.

Pretty please?

[littlebabywulf]

<image removed>

Are we allowed to do pictures in post? It's such an amazing braid and bun that everyone should see it. :)

[sneakybea]

I agree with the people who suggest a braided bun---it's definitely a style that people are impressed by, and think is more complicated than it really is. French braids are look sophisticated, and you can always coil these into a bun too. I like to do sort of a diagonal French braid from my left temple to the right side of the nape, then coil the braided tail into a bun I also think that accessories and jewelry make a difference in looking professional and not frumpy. When I'm trying for a more professional look, I like to choose accessories in tortoiseshell and natural wood, and hair sticks that are only slightly longer than my bun. Just a subtle look in general. But you know what will best compliment your hair color and wardrobe.

[Melisande]

Flipped bun - video (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7581080099802811376)tutorial by Hypnotica.

I make a regular cinnemom bun, loosen it a bit, then flip it upwards. The lower part looks like a French twist, but the circular part of the bun peeks out.

You can vary the location of the bun, its tightness, and how much of the original bun you let peek out. It's simple, elegant and looks sophisticated.

[joyfulmom4]

I'm a little surprised that 2b/2c hair would slither out of an updo. Not that your hair is "wrong" in any way, just that I had only noticed people with type 1 hair complaining about that.

Anyhoo, I don't have a Ficcare, but I do have a metal fakkare from Goody that I got at Wal-Mart for $2.99. I straightened out the bottom of the beak to make a little more room to stick hair into. Also, the large plastic hairpins give excellent hold for many people.

I don't think it's a "slither out" sort of thing, but more like the whole thing just sags and droops, iywkim. Like it hangs together, but doesn't hang out where it's s'posed to be?

I'll check out more products when I go to the discount store next time. Maybe if I know what to look for, I can find a decent "fakkare". thanks.

[spidermom]

To me, all buns look the same from the front, so I just stick to the one that is quick and easy for me to do and stays put. And yes, sometimes I think I look matronly. Other times, not so much. It depends more on my attitude than the style.

[aprilmay]

Sometimes, I part my hair and then pull it back in a bun. Wearing it high on the back of the head or at the nape of the neck create different looks that can look polished without being matronly. How you secure the bun also impacts the look. Sometimes, the ends of my hair stick out which gives a more casual look to the bun.

[joyfulmom4]

You'll need 25+ quality posts to see albums. There's more information on post count and user permissions here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=1658).

Awww... I now have 25+ posts and I still can't see this. Do I have to wait for a moderator to do something? Do I need to contact a moderator?

Maybe my posts aren't "quality" enough??? :confused:

[NightDaemon]

Awww... I now have 25+ posts and I still can't see this. Do I have to wait for a moderator to do something? Do I need to contact a moderator?

Maybe my posts aren't "quality" enough??? :confused:
Try again now. I noticed when I passed that mark that 25+ actually means 26 or more. You seem to be at 27 now.

[joyfulmom4]

Try again now. I noticed when I passed that mark that 25+ actually means 26 or more. You seem to be at 27 now.


Still not working... :(

[misstwist]

Flipped bun - video (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7581080099802811376)tutorial by Hypnotica.

Thanks so much!

I don't know how I missed that one, thought I had seen all of Hypnotica's videos.

The step I was missing was loosening the entire bun as a unit. I was trying to loosen just the last wrap or the center wrap. Wouldn't flip for me.

Just looked in the mirror and it is fantabulous. :p

[joyfulmom4]

You can also try bunning a herringbonebraid (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=38&pictureid=6111).
It looks like a snake wrapped around a stick...
Definitely not granny like ;-)

Oh WOW! Now I can see it and it's gorgeous! Just stunning.

I really need to learn to work with my hair better. My attempts look so messy compared to the ones I see here. And my buns always flop and sag and twist. I tried an infinity bun and it turned out OK, but it started to rotate after a few minutes and looked all crooked and lopsided and droopy. I can't seem to get the hairsticks and other clips to hold securely, except when I start with a ponytail elastic.

Back to practicing...

[intothemist1999]

I know my age makes a difference, since at 20, you're less likely to look old no matter what you're wearing. But at 40, you have to be more conscious of these things.


If I may....we don't HAVE to....but we do :D

[intothemist1999]

I think for me, 'unfrumping' it involves loosening the hair on the sides of the head (I have a big head and high forehead so don't like the look of tight buns on me). Also, they choice of toy can "lighten" up the mood a bit.

I also find I need just the right jewellry (earrings in particular) to balance it all out and help it look less severe.

[darkwaves]

Your title is about "Unfrumpy styles", but what you seem most concerned about is the severe/pulled back look. I think that can be very attractive and (as a manager) very effective, but I guess it's not a look you like.


Accessories do seem to affect the overall look, so hair accessory ideas would be great too. And keep in mind, this heavy hair needs something that can really hold well. Most hair toys available in regular stores don't work for me. If you are ii/iii, my hair is thicker than yours by some, though a bit shorter, and accessories in regular stores have never worked for me. But there are lots of hair toys that will work. And most of those that work will also last a long, long time -- so you might consider it an investment. (I never would have been able to grow my hair this long in my particular professional work setting without my Ficcares and hair sticks/forks. I'd have been so frustrated, I'd have cut.)


You could perhaps try making your bun look a little less neat and slightly more casual - when you pull your hair back try not pulling it back tight to your head and don't worry about any stray hairs. Exactly! I think your profile said 2b/2c? If that's what you are, you must have significant wave. And as hair is always shedding and growing, you likely have shorter strands around your face... What I do if I want a less severe look is to bun/fasten my hair, then put both palms on the top of my head and pull the hair gently forward to loosen the face-framing hair, and then I pull the loose baby ends from around my face and coil them into curls. (Easy to do. If I just rub my damp hands forward towards my face, lots of the hairs not long enough to be fastened come free.)


Maybe my hair tools aren't good enough or I'm just clumsy, but my hair seems to fall out of my updos and they turn out sloppy and crooked sometimes. I also have to put a hair elastic in at the base of my ponytail when I make a bun. Otherwise, it slips and falls out. Do other people do this or do you just twist the bun up and it stays? Again, I would suggest it's likely the quality of the hair tools. I can get my mop up and held securely with just a Ficcare -- but not with a drugstore fake.


I also find I need just the right jewellry (earrings in particular) to balance it all out and help it look less severe. Oh yes! This is so true! It's the total effect. If the makeup, clothes and earrings are frumpy or severe (I love severe -- but never frumpy -- for work!), then the hair may look that way, too. If everything is far from that, then the hair will be far from that, too.

[intothemist1999]

Your title is about "Unfrumpy styles", but what you seem most concerned about is the severe/pulled back look. .


Good point - the difference between the two.

When I think "frumpy bun", it could be VERY likely a severe bun BUT with frumpy clothes. It would make the total look appear frumpy.

If one had a severe bun with super stylish make-up and clothes, I think it would look chique.

Because of my work I never wear anything classier than casual (and I don't go out much where I need to dress much better), so buns could be a bit borderline for me. Unfortunately I think body size/shape plays into that as well. Severe could well put *me* over the frump line :D

[ravenreed]

I think an over all look can lead to frumpyness. If one is dressed and made up very conservatively, then a plain bun might not be the way to go.

I have face-framing wisps that I pull down and I do a messy bun, and with the way I dress, no one EVER believes that I have a son old enough to vote. The burgundy hair color probably helps as well.

I do pull my hair back into a plain bun from time to time, but I don't like the way it looks so much, as I have a very chubby face.

[joyfulmom4]

Good points everyone. I do think it's partly my mental image of what stylish or frumpy amounts to. And how I feel about myself. Last year, I lost a significant amount of weight and I felt fabulous and attractive. Now I've managed to regain about 20 lbs and I'm feeling fat again, which leads to frumpy feelings all over. And my wardrobe is limited b/c I got rid of most of my clothing that I wore at this size. I never had a lot anyway b/c I was just buying enough to fit as my size went down. And most of what I got was cheap/clearance b/c I was not planning to wear it long. Today I feel super frumpy b/c I'm wearing a high-necked blouse in a color that doesn't flatter me and it definitely has the frump factor going... I did put on cute heels and some funner, more youthful jewelry to try to counter the effect. And I just made up my face which helps.

Thinking about the "looser" hair around the face and face-framing curls look, this is where I struggle again with my ability to make updos that stay up. Partly it's gotta be styling aids. I know I've done way better since simply purchasing longer hairpins. The old teeny-tiny bobby pins I was using were a complete flop, figuratively and literally. My hair went up with a few dozen pins, but they all worked loose and my updo flopped and fell by midday. And gave me a headache to boot. Long pins work miraculously better. So maybe the Ficcare is a good investment.

But I'm still struggling with how to get the bun secure and still pull the hair around the face looser. My head shape doesn't help the flattering appearance either. I have a small forehead and a flatter sort of facial profile than the typical European one. My ancestry includes some Native American blood, so I think that's where those features come from. A flatter, broader cheek shape, less prominent forehead and midface that's more flat than foreward. More similar perhaps to an Asian profile, but lacking in the graceful fine features that make Asian faces so gorgeous. Don't know if that makes sense at all. Maybe it's my own self-consciousness. And the back of my head is flatter too. Not nicely rounded at all. So I feel like I need to build up the bun to fill out that flatness...

Oh man, this has gotten really long...

Sorry. Maybe I just need a lot of practice. I've been watching instructional videos on styling hair in updos and I think those help. I never saw those before and it's much easier to understand than written instructions or still pics.

I think I'm totally overwhelmed to have found these boards and all these people who I can suddenly relate to having LONG hair like myself. I have never seen so many bun styles or so much long hair! I'm the only person I know with hair as long as mine. And around here, it's not even that long.

[nomadhome]

I make my bun fairly tight, so it doesn't sag and then, use my fingers on the sides and top of the hair that lays along the scalp to pull it out just a bit. Then I may or may not pulldown some of my face framing layers. Recently, i have learned to part my hair and do little twists along the sides and then bun the rest, which also looks less severe. I even get compliments on that style. I had a women at church yesterday who was amazed that I had even done that myself-- and I tend to be bad at hairstyles.

[spidermom]

I have discovered a bun that stays where I put it all day long. I could tell you how to do it if you like. You would need a stick or fork to secure it.

[dor3girl]

A french twist is always a classic. I also am partial to "snake-like" coiled infinity buns...something slightly messy, with an unpredictable shape. If you twist it right, it can be held with ketylo sticks (easy)--or you can break out the bobby pins or decorative claw clamps.

[joyfulmom4]

I have discovered a bun that stays where I put it all day long. I could tell you how to do it if you like. You would need a stick or fork to secure it.

Yes, I would love to hear how to do this. I don't have any forks, but I do have a few hairsticks in different lengths.

[JamieLeigh]

My favorite style for everyday wear is a version of the braided bun. I get a lot of compliments on it, and it looks so complicated from others' points of view, but it's really so easy!

I put up a ponytail, as low or as high as I feel like doing that day.

I braid the ponytail and do not secure the end.

I wind the braid around itself, until it's in bun formation. Sometimes I leave it a bit loose, so all of it lays flat on my head, and not in a big fat bun. No pinning necessary!!

I secure the bottom half with a spring-closure clip, with long teeth set wide apart (Scunci brand can be found at any Walmart!). I make sure the clip grabs hold of the ponytail holder that I started with, so that the style is secure.

Dust with a light hairspray, if desired. :)

[mandeloo]

I don't see how you all do your hair so well up in braids and buns. I am bun/braid deficient. My hands cramp up, I lose my grip etc etcccc...and then I cry in a corner. Not really but I end doing the Heidi braids on either side of my head, but just the kind that's like the end of the ponytail, not actually braided into my scalp. If someone could direct me to the how to braid/bun your hair section? :D

[bjt]

I have straight hair, and I also don't look so great when my hair is pulled back tightly. Unfortunately, if its not tight, my bun won't stay up. So, I do have a few hairs around my head that I've cut so that I can leave them loose. but I agree with one of the posters above, that too many loose hairs that are straight just look odd and messy. So, I've also taken to using side-combs. I haven't learned yet how to little twists on the side of my head before it gets into a bun, so the side combs have a similar effect but are easier to do.

Also, I leave a tail hanging out of my cinnabuns and easy-wrap buns. its not a long tail, only about 4 or 5 inches, but you can see it from the front and it gives the whole bun look a little bit of a more fun look.

I think I have some pics of the side combs and the half-cinnabun thing in my album.