Can't decide between dirty blonde hair or dark brown hair…having health problems?

[Blondieee]

Hey everyone! I need some advice and suggestions about hair. I have been having health problems (mainly low iron, some other health problems too but that's the main thing). Because of this, I've lost a lot of hair and it has become thin, limp, and lifeless. It is also very dry and mats and tangles together. I'm losing a lot of hair in the comb because it is matting so bad and it takes like 30 minutes to comb it out. I'm working on getting my iron up. Btw is 18mg in an iron supplement enough to get very low ferritin up or should I take twice that (36mg)? My doctor told me 18mg but I want to get it up fast and trust me, I'm so low I won't overdose. She's going to be checking it regularly. My ferritin is around 5. My doctor says it should be 70-80 so I don't know if 18mg can get it there fast (a couple months) or if it would take forever. But 36mg might take forever too I don't know.

So anyway I am so exhausted I don't have the energy to put on makeup, do my hair, and can barely take a shower. My hair looks awful! School is starting again soon and I want to get it looking nice and at least presentable so I'm happy and confident. My hair looks so bad I've lost a lot of confidence. I've been trying to decide whether to go dirty blonde or dark brown. So I could really use some feedback on that. It's driving me insane and when I decide on a color, I change my mind a couple days later. If it's brown I like it long and straight. Blonde I'm more so okay with wearing it natural which would probably work better until I get my health better because I don't have the energy to straighten it. But going blonde is going to require either bleach or blonde dye and I'm assuming both are very harsh on the hair and it might fall out. If I were to go brown, I've used Redken Shades EQ several times before. It's very moisturizing to my hair and the comb goes through like butter, no tangles. I know it's demi-permanent and all hair dyes cause some damage, but I don't notice any noticeable damage at all from it. It helped my hair when it was extremely dry like this before. It also made my hair grow faster. I know that sounds ridiculous but it did. So if I dye it dark brown, I'm set on using this dye.

I'm not sure what to do. I have an appointment for a cut. My hair really needs it and hopefully that will help somewhat. I do not like the color I have currently at all. I don't know whether dirty blonde hair or dark brown hair will look better on me and which one will help my hair more to where it can look nice but still recover. Here are some pictures. Please give me your thoughts and any advice and suggestions you have. Thanks in advance!

Here are some pictures of the dark brown hair from Redken Shades EQ. Sorry about the sunburn in the last picture.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=xo33mc&s=9#.V4dNlEv5ods
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2eaq651&s=9#.V4dPZkv5ods
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=148je2w&s=9#.V4dSiEv5ods
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=sb0dww&s=9#.V4dTKEv5ods

Here are some pictures with dirty blonde hair.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=152zwiu&s=9#.V4dPvkv5ods
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=30v12d1&s=9#.V4dQO0v5ods
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=14sp7vm&s=9#.V4dQukv5ods
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=30bzcc4&s=9#.V4dSHEv5ods

Here's how it looks now. Don't like the color at all. Very dry and unhealthy looking.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=clqac&s=9#.V4dREEv5ods

[pailin]

Actually I like your current color on you. Going lighter may give you more tangle problems from damage, and going darker with conventional dye could also do that too. You might try a deposit only dye? Like manic panic.
More than anything else, I think it needs moisture. It looks kind of curly and a lot of curlies need a lot of moisture. Heavy conditioners, maybe condition twice when you wash, or try conditioner only washing. Use a leave in too.
If you have damage, you might find protein helpful. On the other hand, since you're having real tangling problems, if you're using protein containing products it might be a good idea to try avoiding protein since some people find it makes them tangly.
I really find getting enough moisture into my hair helps with tangles.
I'm afraid to give advice on iron. I really think you should have the doctor's ok before increasing the dose.

[Blondieee]

Thank you for the suggestions! I'm glad you like my current color. I don't like it at all though and I'm set on dying it. I'm just not sure about which color. I will try lots of moisture and conditioner. I've been using the conditioner Redken All Soft for a while and it seems to be making it worse so I've stopped using it. Does it have protein in it? That could be why. I haven't dyed or used heat on my hair in years so I don't think there's damage. I think it needs a lot of moisture like you said.

[lapushka]

I'm just going off of the last picture and I like the color a lot!

Now it's shedding so much, I would *not* add chemical dyes to the mix (you never know how your scalp will take it). You might even shed more. I don't mean to scare you, but I think I'd be careful.

I would also do what your doctor tells you. It's easy to overdo iron, and you need to bring that back into your system slowly. Just don't take double the dosage that was prescribed to you. It should be all on the mend as of now.

[kaydana]

I'd go with brown, especially if you have a dye that works for you, but try out some heatless styling techniques if you aren't happy with your natural texture. Braid waves are my favourite for wearing hair loose, because it looks "done" without much effort (I find running a little bit of gel through the ends before braiding keeps the waves looking neat throughout the day)

[ephemeri]

I also think that dyeing it right now is taking a risk. If it's super dry and shedding a lot, the dye might add another issue to it. I don't know for sure though.

Have you tried deep conditioning treatments? Maybe do some SMTs? I think moisture moisture moisture will help you the most!

Definitely follow your doctors advice about the iron. They prescribed it that way for a reason. You can always ask them if you can double the dosage but they will likely have a very good reason for giving you the dosage you were prescribed. Do not double it without asking! Don't risk your health. :blossom:

[nakima]

If your set on coloring it and you decide on the blonde because you say you will wear it natural more often then why not just highlight it for now? see how well those hairs respond to the color? it may make you feel a little better without damaging all of your hair.I had the same problem years ago and I was afraid to do anything to my hair so a friend talked me into highlights and I was glad she did because my hair felt so much better but before I did it I did prep my hair for a little while by deep conditioning, a slight trim and proper nutrition. Good luck on whatever you decide to do and if you can talk to your Dr. about the benefits of drinking or eating more spinach it's full of iron :)

[Nadine <3]

Please take the iron supplements as prescribed. Doubling them up on your own can be very dangerous and is not a good idea. Help it along by eating iron rich foods.

I don't really have much of an opinion on the color, I just wanted to say I love your curls. I would dye my hair the least damaging color (brown) and then I'd baby the heck out of it. Moisture, oil, protein if your hair likes it, and keep it up.

[lithostoic]

So why do you want to dye your hair? It will not make it any healthier and will very likely make it worse.

[vampyyri]

So why do you want to dye your hair? It will not make it any healthier and will very likely make it worse.

I know when I go through drastic life changes, my first urge is to change my hair. It's a way to have control over something when something traumatic happens.

[Blondieee]

Thanks everyone! I've wanted to dye my hair for years now. I do not like the color it is. I like either dirty blonde hair (like I had when I was little) or dark brown hair. I do not like the current color I have which I would call "watered down tea." It does not look good on me and I do not like it. I had dirty blonde hair when I was little and then it turned dark brown as I got older. Then I started having health problems and it turned into watered down tea. I do not like it and I'm not wearing it. I appreciate those of you who are being nice and say it looks good but even if it looks good to you, it's on my head. I'm the one who has to look in the mirror everyday and see it. But yes with blonde hair I'm perfectly happy with my natural hair texture (although not the dryness, it definitely needs moisture like you guys are saying). But blonde hair I really like as wavy with my natural waves. Brown hair I would want to straighten but the dye helps my hair a lot and it would get rid of all the tangles. I just really can't decide what color looks best on me. I've had hair stylists tell me with my eye color, I could go either way but that's not helpful to me. I just want one color that looks the best like how you see some girls who are blondes and it looks best on them, you couldn't imagine them as a brunette and vice versa. So I just don't know but I for sure want to dye it.

I should mention when I said hair loss it has stopped falling out from the low iron. I lost A LOT of hair but it stopped and has started growing back in surprisingly (with a ferritin of 5 I have no idea how). But I'm losing hair from the tangles because it's coming out in the comb. But I'm not still shedding.

I will ask my doctor about the iron. I definitely won't double the dose without her ok but I guess I just don't see how 18mg which is the RDA can get it up quickly when it's so low. I thought generally when people are low in iron, they give you massive amounts of iron because your body doesn't absorb it all.

[Sofialu]

For some reason I can't view the photos so I'm not sure what the colours look like or your current colour but I agree with what someone else said, if your hair is already damaged then I'd go for the less damaging option of brown dye over bleach. My hair used to feel very straw like when I bleached it.

[Blondieee]

I've been having health problems for 3 years. For 3 years I've wanted to dye my hair and haven't been able to. Sure it's not in the best condition but life is short. I think I deserve to finally dye my hair.

[lapis_lazuli]

I agree to take your iron supplements as prescribed to be safe.
I also think your current colour is pretty but if you're set on dying your hair, I'd go with brown as it is less damaging than bleach :) Good luck to you and I hope your health improves soon :flowers:

[Blondieee]

Thank you for your help everyone! It is much appreciated. :)

I have another question. If I were to hold off on dying my hair until I get my iron up and my hair and health is better, what color do you guys think would be a good choice to dye it at that time? What color would look the best? Since I wouldn't have to worry as much about damage at that time. When I get my iron up and my hair moisturized, could I do blonde and leave it natural or do you guys think brunette suits me better?

[Obsidian]

I think the darker Brown or your current color looks best, the dirty blonde is my least favorite.

Before you do any coloring, I think you need to get you hair in better shape. I don't think it's going to magically get better once your iron level is corrected. One hair is damaged, the damage is permanent. You can do a lot took improve it though and stop the tangles.

What kind of products are you using now? Finding the right shampoo and conditioner will go a ways to helping. If I was you, I would clarify and use a good conditioner with cones, detangle while there is conditioner in your hair. When you dry your hair, don't rub it with your towel, just blot it dry so it doesn't tangle again.

[lapis_lazuli]

I think they both suit you and you should do what makes you more happy :)
Just be warned, bleaching your hair will hinder its ability to gain length (from damage), and also root upkeep could result in overlapping which could cause breakage inches from the scalp. But with anything there are risks, and as long as you understand them, I'd say go for it. Good luck in whatever you choose! :flower:

[spidermom]

I agree with advice to stick to the dose of iron that your doctor prescribes to you. She will need to test your iron level and see how you are responding to the current dose before she changes it in any way. Different people metabolize iron in different ways, and too much iron is as damaging to your health as too little iron.

As for your hair color, I will point out that when you dye your hair a darker color than your natural color, it can look like you have bald spots as it grows. I read an article by an expert colorist to movie stars, and he said that people can't go wrong by coloring their hair back to the color that it was in childhood.

Whatever you decide, treat your hair to some deep conditioning treatments.

[turtlelover]

Why don't you try something semi permanent like the Clairol Advanced Gray Solutions that I use? It covers better that a typical semi and almost as well as a demi, but doesn't use developer, so I haven't gotten any damage from it. (It works fine on hair that isn't gray -- it is just made to cover well.) In my hair, most of it washes out after 3 weeks, so no harsh root lines, and you can really experiment with a lot of colors as long as you are going darker or adding red.

[littlelivething]

I would recommend using a dye that is a more natural alternative, like henna or manic panic.

I lost a lot of hair after going on medication for my bipolar disorder (lamotrigine and birth control. I was on lithium for a minute then stopped it because of all the side effects). It also changed the texture of my hair from 3b type curls to looser waves/curls, obviously decreased the thickness, and I noticed more oily scalp problems. I dyed my hair around halloween last year, and it only made things worse. I dyed it back to its natural color with a semi-permanent dye, which I don't think caused any damage but did irritate my scalp more. There is clear breakage from where I applied the first dye, my dandruff got much worse, and I now have the problem of oily scalp/bangs and very dry ends. I hennaed my hair a month or so ago, and it really helped the drier parts feel healthier. My natural hair color is blackish brown though, so the henna only added a slight coppery glow color-wise. It will definitely be more noticeable on your hair as a red, and I can't speak to henna/indigo combinations because I have never tried one.

I wish you the best of luck with your health and finding a pretty hair solution.

[Ana H.]

First off, I'm so sorry you're dealing with thinning hair. I've been through it too and I know how hard it is.

As for my opinion....
From those few photos I think the dark brown suits you best and looks better with your skin tone than the dirty blonde. But obviously, I don't know you in person and I don't know squat about coloring hair. But just from the photos and my own tastes I vote brown.

And since it's less damaging that's good too! :) But I really do think it looks better, I'm not just saying it because of the damage.

[patchoulilove]

As a fellow iron deficient anemic with very low ferritin also, I want to suggest you pick a color where you are ok with your roots. While I don't know you, I do know exhaustion...and let's be real, once you color it you may not want to do the upkeep that goes with it. Consider seriously your current fatigue - standing to shower itself can be a marathon with low ferritin. Think into the future regarding your current hair goals /your preferred hair routine and the subsequent impact on hair health going blonde vs brunette will have for you personally (given your texture, porosity, moisture, etc).

Also, with thinning hair (and long hair goals I presume?) consider your preferred color palette for shirts/blouses! Sounds strange but tshirt color can camoflouge or accentuate thin length. So, if you wear your hair down often and want to create an illusion of thicker strands think about your wardrobe too. (Ex, blonette hair looks fuller against black shirts but thinner against lighter shirts).

Since you posed your question together with disclosure of your anemia, I wanted to chime in as an anemic in a similar health position to emphasize that it can take several months (even years) to build iron sufficiently all things considered. Bare that in mind and be realistic that your fatigue will continue even as you are actively treating with supps. Go the easiest route given your hair goals. No one can know what works best in that regard but you. Your complexion is such that either color will look great. Good luck in your decision and I hope you feel better soon.

[Blondieee]

As a fellow iron deficient anemic with very low ferritin also, I want to suggest you pick a color where you are ok with your roots. While I don't know you, I do know exhaustion...and let's be real, once you color it you may not want to do the upkeep that goes with it. Consider seriously your current fatigue - standing to shower itself can be a marathon with low ferritin. Think into the future regarding your current hair goals /your preferred hair routine and the subsequent impact on hair health going blonde vs brunette will have for you personally (given your texture, porosity, moisture, etc).

Also, with thinning hair (and long hair goals I presume?) consider your preferred color palette for shirts/blouses! Sounds strange but tshirt color can camoflouge or accentuate thin length. So, if you wear your hair down often and want to create an illusion of thicker strands think about your wardrobe too. (Ex, blonette hair looks fuller against black shirts but thinner against lighter shirts).

Since you posed your question together with disclosure of your anemia, I wanted to chime in as an anemic in a similar health position to emphasize that it can take several months (even years) to build iron sufficiently all things considered. Bare that in mind and be realistic that your fatigue will continue even as you are actively treating with supps. Go the easiest route given your hair goals. No one can know what works best in that regard but you. Your complexion is such that either color will look great. Good luck in your decision and I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks so much for the advice! You make a lot of great points. I think blonde hair would be best with the exhaustion because I only like brown hair straight or curled with a curling iron and I don't have the energy to do that. But I like blonde hair wavy so I could just shower, detangle, and let it air dry. It would make my routine a lot easier.

As far as the iron, I have heard that before about it taking months or even years to get iron stores up and that worries me. I can't take the fatigue. I can't even put on makeup I'm so exhausted. Does it get better when you're supplementing or does it still take months or years to feel relief from the fatigue?

[Blondieee]

Thanks for your advice and suggestions everyone! I started thinking about something. Is Redken Shades EQ damaging to the hair? Because several years ago I bleached my hair. The hair stylist left it in way too long but my hair was in really good condition. I know a lot of people say bleaching ruins your hair but my hair was thick, full of body, and healthy. It stayed that way for a while. Then my hairstylist took me back brown using Redken Shades EQ. It made it super healthy or so it appeared. The comb went through like butter. But this healthy effect only lasted so long and then it had to be done again and again. It was done about 5 times total. It seems like I started having problems with all the tangles and matting around that time. And you guys have said my hair looks damaged so that means it's not health related right? I read online that low ferritin can make the hair dry, brittle, or dull, and not hold curl or color well. So I'm sure that's part of it but I wonder if the dye really is damaging to my hair. I know going darker is supposed to be less damaging but in my experience bleach was gentler on my hair.

[Blondieee]

Also the kind of blonde I'm looking for is this. I want it blonder than the dirty blonde hair I have in the pictures but still dirty blonde. I like the brown mixed in. But I want to do it gradually, a few highlights at a time. So I'm going to get a cut which should help and then I need to get the dryness and matting better and then I was thinking about doing around 10 highlights. Does that sound like a good plan to minimize damage?

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=11me4ip&s=9#.V4iwoRL3bCQ

[Blondieee]

Also some of you mentioned the dirty blonde in my pictures not looking good with my skin tone which I noticed that too. Would the shade of dirty blonde hair that the girl in the picture has look good with my skin tone?

[Agnieszka]

18mg is a low dosage but there might be a medical reason why she prescribed that dose. Please ask your doctor about that. Within 2 weeks I felt better but it took me about half a year from ferritin 15 rising to 70. I took it always last thing before sleeping ( on empty stomach) with vit c. I remember those days when I was showering sitting on the chair as I was too weak. It will get better but be consistent with your iron.

[Temme]

I think dying blonde and keeping your natural hair pattern would be less damaging than dying brown and straightening or curling your hair with heat daily, as well as being less tiring considering your health challenges. I think all the colors you've shown look nice. Of course, being on TLHC, I'm more concerned with damage. :)

And follow doctor's orders!

[Kherome]

Oh you do NOT want to take more iron, trust me. Even if you are super low. Take what the doc tells you too. The consequences of too much iron at once are pretty bad.

[Stepo_NiNha]

Oh you do NOT want to take more iron, trust me. Even if you are super low. Take what the doc tells you too. The consequences of too much iron at once are pretty bad.

I agree. You should only take iron under doctor's prescription. I once bought one bottle of iron pills because I was just...huh...feeling tired and my hair was shedding more than usual and I thought it could be low iron (silly me!).

I almost spoiled my stomach, it hurted so much and finally went to the doctor that told me that iron can be like poison if you take it unnecessarily!

[samanthaa]

Think about all the ramifications of dye before you make your decision. I think your natural color is quite nice (similar to my natural!), and ultimately it's up to you whether to dye or not, but dye is a lot of upkeep. You'll have to dye your roots every 2-6 weeks to keep up the color. Conventional color (if you go darker) also fades a lot, and bleach (if you go lighter) can be quite damaging.

Speaking as someone who was also deficient in iron, and echoing what everyone else has said, you should only increase your dosage if your doctors directs you to. If she told you to take 18 mg daily, take 18 mg daily. If you think it's too low, talk to her. To me, it does sound quite low (I was directed to take a daily iron supplement of 65 mg daily--but that's me! Please don't base your health on someone else's), but there's a reason that was suggested to you. Iron is dangerous if too much is taken. Discuss both the implications of low and high iron with your doctor, and the timeline that she figures it will take you to get your iron levels to normal, if you're concerned about that.

[Deborah]

Letting your hair grow in it's completely natural color and degree of straightness/curliness would be the healthiest for your hair, and certainly by far the easiest to care for. If I had health issues dragging me down, that is what I would do for sure, but of course it is up to you.

I hope you feel better very soon! :flower:

[spidermom]

I've been thinking about this, and I think you'll be much better off if you stick with temporary dyes (semi-permanent?) that will gradually fade out. Until your health is better, the last thing you need is to keep up with growing out roots. Deposit-only color like Manic Panic is fun to use, and it was so nice to my hair - like a deep conditioning treatment. I didn't use bleach, just the color.

[pailin]

For coloring, I think if you can stick with something within fairly close to your natural color, that will be easier if you're exhausted, so you don't have to dye roots as often. Going a shade lighter is probably good for that, since if you're overdue on redoing roots, it'll just look like an ombre. Think about your eyebrows too- how dark are they? If you go darker you might need to pencil them or something, and you might not feel like doing that every day. Also sometimes it really helps to go with a haircolor that doesn't change how light or dark it is very much, but adds a little red or a little gold or a little ash.
Regarding iron, I think ferritin is more a measure of stored iron in your blood than iron your body is currently using - hemoglobin /hematocrit say more about that. But how long it takes to get you back to normal probably depends a lot upon what is causing it in the first place- anemia can be more than a simple iron deficiency. You probably know if the doctor thinks there is something else going on; if it is a symptom of a larger disease, then you will need that to improve too.

[Blondieee]

Thanks everyone! I changed my mind. I'm going to go with the dark brown. I agree with you guys. I think the brown hair looks better with my skin tone. I don't think I'm going to straighten it right now though. I think I'm going to dye it and leave it alone (except for color) until I get my health better. I understand what you guys are saying about leaving it alone altogether but that's what I've done for 3 years and it hasn't gotten any better and I'm really unhappy with how my hair looks. I want to be confident with my hair and that's not how I feel now.

Thank you for the suggestions about the temporary hair dye but I can't dye my own hair. I've tried that before and can't do it nor do I have the energy. My hair stylist has to do it and the dye they use at the salon is Redken Shades EQ. It's a demi-permanent and I don't think that's what damaged my hair now that I think about it. It always helped my hair. I think the health problems are causing my hair to be so dry and matted together. I've went to the salon several times before with really dry hair that was matting together and my stylist used the Shades EQ and the dryness and matting went away and my hair was really healthy. There are probably a lot of conditioning ingredients in the dye so I don't see how that could make my hair worse. It's not like it's a permanent dye. It's always made my hair better.

Also my hemoglobin and hematocrit are low too. They were low the last time my doctor tested them. I have iron deficiency anemia. But even low ferritin on its own causes debilitating exhaustion and hair loss. It's called your iron stores but it's not extra iron. It should be 70-80 per my doctor.

[Obsidian]

When you go in to get your hair colored, ask their opinion about the tangles. You could get a deep conditioning while you are there or even protein if they think you need it.

[calmyogi]

Your current color is similar to my daughters hair color. In the sun she gets gold highlights. So that being said I like your natural color and think it looks good on you :D

If I was you I would moistize the heck out of it and not color it because it will just further the damage. Also the one comment about your energy levels not being up to maintaining colored hair I found made a lot of sense.

Having put in my two cents, I think blonde suits you best and as another comment or said going the color you had as a child you can't go wrong. My friend who specializes in color has told me this as well.

[Ana H.]

Thanks everyone! I changed my mind. I'm going to go with the dark brown. I agree with you guys. I think the brown hair looks better with my skin tone. I don't think I'm going to straighten it right now though. I think I'm going to dye it and leave it alone (except for color) until I get my health better. I understand what you guys are saying about leaving it alone altogether but that's what I've done for 3 years and it hasn't gotten any better and I'm really unhappy with how my hair looks. I want to be confident with my hair and that's not how I feel now.

Thank you for the suggestions about the temporary hair dye but I can't dye my own hair. I've tried that before and can't do it nor do I have the energy. My hair stylist has to do it and the dye they use at the salon is Redken Shades EQ. It's a demi-permanent and I don't think that's what damaged my hair now that I think about it. It always helped my hair. I think the health problems are causing my hair to be so dry and matted together. I've went to the salon several times before with really dry hair that was matting together and my stylist used the Shades EQ and the dryness and matting went away and my hair was really healthy. There are probably a lot of conditioning ingredients in the dye so I don't see how that could make my hair worse. It's not like it's a permanent dye. It's always made my hair better.

Also my hemoglobin and hematocrit are low too. They were low the last time my doctor tested them. I have iron deficiency anemia. But even low ferritin on its own causes debilitating exhaustion and hair loss. It's called your iron stores but it's not extra iron. It should be 70-80 per my doctor.

I’m glad you were able to come to a decision that you feel good about. I think the brown hair will look great on you and I do hope it gives you a confidence boost. Hair loss did a number on my confidence too so I know how hard it can be. I don’t think you should worry too much about damage (even though it is a real risk) if you’re going to use the same dye and hair stylist that you’ve had good results with in the past. It’s your hair and you should do what makes you feel better even if it causes some damage.

Also, I think your natural texture looks just as good with brown hair. I have brown hair and a similar texture and I never straighten. I don’t see why it would look better straightened but that is also your choice. Lots of people dye their hair and use hot tools and they still have hair on their heads and get compliments too, split ends and all. Not everyone is as conscious of hair damage as we are. =)

I’m fighting through chronic health problems as well and it’s helped so much to be able to do things that make me feel better about how I look. It can give you a little boost of strength. Wearing makeup or doing my hair nice helps me feel a little more like a normal woman even though my body is freaking out and I feel terrible. I hope dying your hair can do the same for you and that you feel better soon. :heartbeat

Oh! And please post pictures of your new hair!

[butterfly_dream]

I guess you will look stunning with henna red? Henna will improve your hair health as well. I am tempter.;)

[Blondieee]

Hey everyone! I could really some more advice on my hair please. I'm just really sad. I want my hair to look nice and to be happy with it.

Here's how it looked before (Pic 1). I got my hair shampooed. She said it needed to be clarified and did that. She also cut it and she took off the ends that were see through and dry when wet and she said those parts are already dead anyway. When I came out of the salon, it looked like I had got my hair dyed even though she didn't dye it. I finally have my dark brown hair back instead of that gross watered down tea color that must have resulted from buildup of minerals from the water. She did use heat on it but it wasn't a lot of heat. She did it very minimal and used protectant. And I was happy with it when I left. Here are some pictures. (Pic 2 and 3). And then I just now took a shower a couple days later and it's really short now because it's my natural texture so it shrinks up. (Pic 4). And now I'm sad. It's a lot healthier and it doesn't take me an hour to comb out my hair anymore. The comb goes right through my hair, no matting anymore so it must have been the fact that it needed to be clarified. But it's just really short. I've posted pictures before of girls with long dark brown hair and I was told I couldn't get that but I had that when I was 13. It was super long dark brown hair. I will post a picture when I get on my computer later. I'm on my phone now. And I just don't understand how I went from super long below breast length hair to shriveled up hair at this length. It just doesn't look very feminine to me. And I'm also wondering if I should go blonde. My head is spinning and one symptom of the health problems I'm having is indecisiveness and I literally can't decide between blonde or brown, straight or wavy, I just don't know. I don't know what would look the best on me. That's what I want, something that looks best on me and that I'm happy with. I'm starting to think I'll never be happy with my hair. :(

1: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=34erhv4&s=9#.V5PtkBL3bCQ

2: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2n74bap&s=9#.V5Pt0RL3bCQ

3: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2a6sdom&s=9#.V5PuOBL3bCQ

4: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=10ieygy&s=9#.V5PubhL3bCQ

[Obsidian]

I like the brown, I think its a good color on you. It seems that your hair has changed textures, you aren't going to have straight hair now unless you use heat or chemicals. I bet you are treating your now curly hair like its straight and thats why it looks frizzy.
Have you tried the curly girl method? It will help define & smooth your curls. Yes, you will loose length to shrinkage but you can still have long hair with curls, it just takes a bit longer to get the length you desire.
I know you want a instant fix, something to make you feel better now but dying your hair isn't going to be the fix you want. It won't remove the curl or make the shrinkage go away. Learn to love the curl, its so much easier then spending years fighting with them.

[lapushka]

It honestly looks as if you are constantly brushing out your waves/wurls.

I would buy the book "curly girl" by Lorraine Massey and research the curly girl method online a bit.

No brushing dry hair! Only brush/comb in the shower when conditioner is in your hair. Once it is out of the towel, you no longer want to touch it with a comb or brush (yes it will be detangled, you detangled it in the shower, remember).

Worth checking out.

All you can do is take good care of your hair (it's a pretty color!) and baby it, all while your health is steadily improving. Patience. You can't rush these things!

[calmyogi]

Now that your hair is clarified and the dry ends are cut off it's bouncing back to life. your hair looks pretty wurly/curly so I would start lurking around those threads looking for advice and info. I understand your impatience though and I have struggled a lot the beginning of this year with my hemline and hating it. But recently, after ignoring it and microtrimming, I have found a new love for it and I have an appointment on the 29th to have it cut into a narrow U or a wide V (however you want to see it). Being patient is the key to hair growth. You look good though so don't feel bad about the length. Search youtube for short hairstyles that might make you feel a bit more feminine, headbands can add a girly touch as well.

[DoomKitty]

I just wanted to say I think your curls and colour are gorgeous. I've recently been diagnosed with anemia (possibly coeliac disease) so I can understand the exhaustion and indecision you're going through. But I think the OPs are giving you great advice about the curly girl method. And if you want a bit of a change without doing a heap of damage I'd consider getting highlights and using Olaplex.

[Blondieee]

Thanks everyone! I never had straight hair. I used to have long dark brown curly hair and it was not frizzy like this. It might have had a slight frizz from just being naturally curly but not like this.

Isn't the curly girl method sulfate free shampoos or cowashing? I have tried both of those before and both of them made me lose a lot of hair and I wasn't having health problems at the time. It grew back a few months after I stopped. It really weighed my hair down too and it was flat and just didn't look good.

I prefer straightening my hair or curling iron curls because it's a lot longer. As you can see from the pictures I've lost probably 2 inches going from curling iron curls to my natural hair texture. I have nothing against curly hair but I like curling iron curls. No frizz and long. I like long hair. If it's going to be shorter, I prefer blonde over brown.

I just don't understand what the problem is. I had long curly hair when I was 13 and now it's like it won't grow long. I just keep getting lots of split ends which have to be cut off. I haven't colored it in 3 years and I haven't used heat in 3 years with the one exception of when my hair stylist used heat a couple days ago but it was very minimal. Are the health problems I'm having preventing it from growing too? I don't brush it when it's dry. I only comb it when it's wet to detangle it. If I notice tangles when it's dry, I will very gently finger detangle it.

When she got done with my hair, my hair looked and felt so healthy as you can see by the second picture. It felt so soft and healthy. And my hairstylist told me that the heat tames the frizz along with products. The heat seems to be the only thing my hair likes. Or maybe I just haven't found what works best yet?

I'm starting to think golden blonde highlights with my natural brown mixed in would look really pretty but I don't know.

[pailin]

That color does suit you well. But maybe you need to experiment a little more to find out what really works? If it were me, I'd never be able to replicate what the stylist did.

[florenonite]

Thanks everyone! I never had straight hair. I used to have long dark brown curly hair and it was not frizzy like this. It might have had a slight frizz from just being naturally curly but not like this.

Isn't the curly girl method sulfate free shampoos or cowashing? I have tried both of those before and both of them made me lose a lot of hair and I wasn't having health problems at the time. It grew back a few months after I stopped. It really weighed my hair down too and it was flat and just didn't look good.

Yes and no. "True" Curly Girl involves gentle cleansing methods like that, but the overall idea is really just to throw as much moisture at your hair as possible. Check out the methods in lapushka's signature; she uses SLS shampoo for her scalp so they're all really good methods for adding a little extra moisture to your hair. Also make sure you're only shampooing your scalp hair, not the length.


I prefer straightening my hair or curling iron curls because it's a lot longer. As you can see from the pictures I've lost probably 2 inches going from curling iron curls to my natural hair texture. I have nothing against curly hair but I like curling iron curls. No frizz and long. I like long hair. If it's going to be shorter, I prefer blonde over brown.

What about trying some kind of heatless curls? Because your hair is already curly, you're likely to get a better hold than a straightie would. I realise that your energy is low due to your illness, but in my experience heatless curls are no more effort than curling with a curling iron, so they might be worth a shot.

The simplest would be just to bun or braid your hair while it's damp (one bun/braid or multiple, depending on your length, thickness, and the kind of curl you're going for), but there are a whole host of things you can do, depending on the look you're going for.

Some ideas:

Deep waves (http://web.archive.org/web/20120307011738/http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=82)

Mermaid waves (http://www.xovain.com/hair/buns-that-create-mermaid-waves)

Sock bun curls (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-A_2ht81Fg)

Rag curls (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbRG8iNI0sQ)

[two_wheels]

My hair isn't as wavy as yours but it fuzzes and gets weighed down by too much product, so similar issue. I also can't do CO etc.

If I really want no fuzz, I would do shampoo + silicone free conditioner, then a fingernail amount of oil (I use coconut) from the ears down only. A stupidly tiny amount. Then a similarly stupidly tiny amount of gel. So little that you would think it wouldn't do anything. Then don't touch it as it dries.

After that, to cut back even more as florenonite says I would damp bun it. On shorter hair, you can pin it or do a French twist to get the same effect.

[lapushka]

Isn't the curly girl method sulfate free shampoos or cowashing? I have tried both of those before and both of them made me lose a lot of hair and I wasn't having health problems at the time. It grew back a few months after I stopped. It really weighed my hair down too and it was flat and just didn't look good.

It doesn't have to be. I modified it heavily. I basically adopted most of it, but I still wash with sulfates. I condition twice (yes twice) afterwards to combat the dryness and keep my wavy structure intact. I WCC (link is in signature).

In your teens your hair changes heaps, due to hormones, and this can carry on into your early twenties.

If I were you, I would concentrate on your health right now. :flower: But that's me, what I would do; it doesn't have to be you.

[two_wheels]

It doesn't have to be. I modified it heavily. I basically adopted most of it, but I still wash with sulfates. I condition twice (yes twice) afterwards to combat the dryness and keep my wavy structure intact. I WCC (link is in signature).

In your teens your hair changes heaps, due to hormones, and this can carry on into your early twenties.

If I were you, I would concentrate on your health right now. :flower: But that's me, what I would do; it doesn't have to be you.

I agree- you can style it and conceal it while your health improves, but health is the main thing, then you don't have to work so hard. OP there is a member here called Mimha who worked a lot on her health and her hair changed. It's radiantly gorgeous now, I don't think I saw it before though.

[Blondieee]

Thanks everyone! Those are great ideas! I think the heatless curls would be perfect to get that long pretty curly look I like without damaging it with heat. I will check out those different styles. They sound really pretty. The only thing I'm unsure of is the frizz. Because my hairstylist told me that the heat tames the frizz. So I don't know how to get rid of the frizz. Is that where adding lots of moisture to your hair and WCC comes in? And then add products like leave in conditioner, let it airdry, and then do the heatless curls? If I can figure out how to do that I think it would look pretty.

I am going to focus on my health right now too. That's amazing that a member here noticed a huge improvement in her hair after getting her health better. Do you know if she had iron deficiency anemia too?

I do think I really want blonde though. Would it be okay for my hairstylist to put a few highlights in it and then just leave it natural and not use any heat on it? She doesn't want to use bleach on me because of the hair loss. She said my hair is light enough that she can use color to go blonde. So maybe a few golden blonde highlights in foils with dye?

I'm really sad about the length though. It wasn't the stylist's fault. She only cut off what was already dead anyway but I just like my hair to be long. And it's probably going to take forever to regrow. :(

[pailin]

For the frizz, try more moisture plus avoiding manipulation (ie combing or brushing) when dry. You're exactly right, that's where WCC, leave in conditioners, etc. come in, and that plus a heatless curl method is one way to get rid of frizz. And some of the method are really easy.

[lapushka]

Thanks everyone! Those are great ideas! I think the heatless curls would be perfect to get that long pretty curly look I like without damaging it with heat. I will check out those different styles. They sound really pretty. The only thing I'm unsure of is the frizz. Because my hairstylist told me that the heat tames the frizz. So I don't know how to get rid of the frizz. Is that where adding lots of moisture to your hair and WCC comes in? And then add products like leave in conditioner, let it airdry, and then do the heatless curls? If I can figure out how to do that I think it would look pretty.

No heat does not get rid of the frizz (if you don't also want to get rid of the definition/curls). Moisture is the key. WCC is great for moisture if you use a drying shampoo. Be careful though that it doesn't weigh your hair down at this length, because it might be too short to need so much moisture. It's a fine and delicate balance sometimes. Just doing WC + the LOC method could be good as well (link also in signature).

You keep wanting to "mess" with your hair, why, why, it's so pretty. :D I mean, you do you girl, but I would leave it alone if I were you. That's just me. :) :flower:

Stylists think things are "dead" when they really aren't. All hair is "dead". It is not live tissue. And yes, she may have cut too much. Most stylists do, that's what they do.

I would start looking into the self-trimming methods on here; like Feye's method.

[Deborah]

You need to step back, take a deep breath and relax about your hair. It looks shorter because you had some cut off. But that is a good thing; you had bad ends that needed to go. Your hair is a little curly. Curly hair always looks shorter than straight hair. It doesn't matter. It will grow long and lovely if you give it time and treat it gently along the way. Your natural color is lovely. Leave it alone and let it grow. Dye and bleach are both harmful to hair. Heat is harmful to hair. You can make your hair smoother by keeping it moisturized, with gentle cleansing and conditioning. You can set it on giant rollers or soup cans to make it straighter if you want. Neither of these will harm your hair. Or you can wash and go and let it be it's natural, somewhat curly self. Sometimes we just have to adjust our thinking to accept the beauty of our natural hair.

I hope you can make peace with your hair. :flower:

[share801]

It is going to take more than 2 months to get the ferritin up. You need to discuss it with your doctor before randomly taking more. My friend had to try several different forms of iron as well - she has trouble absorbing it for some reason.

[XiaoBaiTu]

I see that you're leaning towards a more golden/blonde tone for your hair color now. Do what makes you happy, but if you don't mind reading one more netizen's opinion, I'd go darker, and my reasoning for that has nothing to do with damage. I would choose dark because of your eye color! They are such a pretty green color that isn't very noticeable when your hair is blonde, but when your hair is darker the contrast makes your eyes look stunning. I think it would suit you better just because of that. :)

[calmyogi]

No heat does not get rid of the frizz (if you don't also want to get rid of the definition/curls). Moisture is the key. WCC is great for moisture if you use a drying shampoo. Be careful though that it doesn't weigh your hair down at this length, because it might be too short to need so much moisture. It's a fine and delicate balance sometimes. Just doing WC + the LOC method could be good as well (link also in signature).

You keep wanting to "mess" with your hair, why, why, it's so pretty. :D I mean, you do you girl, but I would leave it alone if I were you. That's just me. :) :flower:

Stylists think things are "dead" when they really aren't. All hair is "dead". It is not live tissue. And yes, she may have cut too much. Most stylists do, that's what they do.

I would start looking into the self-trimming methods on here; like Feye's method.

I second what Lapushka is saying here! Your hair looks good the way it is. I would stop messing with it as well because it's pretty and there is nothing wrong with it. Stylists cut hair and they don't always have your best interest or wants in mind. Try to relax and let it grow. Try to forget about it and in a few months you will be surprised at how much it has grown. Scalp massages help stimulate growth for some people so you could try that. It might help you relax as well.

[missmelaniem]

I havent completely read the whole thread so not sure on what you decided on finally, but demi-perm hair dye is great and since you have a stylist doing it for you they will be good about guarding against build-up. When I was coloring my hair was healthiest when I used a demi.

I thought the blonde would be prettier on you, and a balayage would be gorgeous and easy to maintain with nothing touching your scalp.

Whatever you decide, use lots of conditioner! :-)