So Frustrated... length feels short

[HairPlease]

Hello and apologies for my recurring bouts of absence here - busy busy life. I haven't forgotten about you lovely peeps. Anyways, last time I checked in here a few months ago I was just tickling MBL and now I'm solid MBL after I did a trim last month. Why the heck does it feel like my hair is still CBL? Or just above APL? It's literally only 4" from waist but the stiff texture or something makes my hair feel so short to me. What can I do to make it feel longer? It's so weird. Am I the only one who has this problem? I seriously doubt it.

I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't -move- like long hair. I have some shorter "grown out bangs" layers in the front, maybe that's the problem... because my hair does feel "longer" when I clip the top/front half up (I do this all the time, can't live without it).

It's not hair-o-rexia I swear. It's just shaped like short hair, moves like short hair, feels like short hair... but it's mid friggen back length. I'm not short, by the way. 5' 7". So that's not my issue.
GAAAAH!

Maybe I should just put the mess up and not even look at it until Christmas. :cool:

[lapushka]

LHC hair dysmorphia. Welcome to the world of it. :D I think there's a few threads on this already.
Found one:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=110728

[HairPlease]

Oh lordy... thank goodness. I'm not nuts after all. Thanks, lapushka!

[kuroi]

I think quite a lot have the same problem here including me. Waist lenght seemed long to me a year ago but now TBL feels like long hair. Wouldn't surprise me if I would think TBL is short in a year and that classic is long.

[BroomHilda]

sometimes it depends on the body size, the texture of the hair and where most of the thickness ends.
Length of the neck and the size of the face also have huge impact on how long your hair looks.
Same length hair on a big/square face will look shorter than on a head with a rather small face and a tall neck.

A wide/full body frame can make same length hair "look" shorter than on a very slim/thin body. Is all about proportions.

And of course if the majority of thickness is around, let's say mid-back length, even if your thin ends hit BCL your hair will look like MBL. The eye catches the thickness not the length of a few strands

[truepeacenik]

The word "stiffness" jumped out at me.
With 1c, are you using products? Might you have shampoo/conditioner build up?
Have you tried clarifying to see if you can soften the texture?

You also say that it is "shaped like short hair." I don't quite get that, looking at your photos. Did you simply stop cutting to grow?
What I see is a deep V hemline, and something that while more rare, isn't unknown on LHC. Shallow V and U are around, as are blunt and fairytale ends. Some members have stunning layers.

So there's no "long hair shape," unless one means the one-intended-layer look. Which is simply uncut (it could be trimmed) straightish hair.

[HairPlease]

The word "stiffness" jumped out at me.
With 1c, are you using products? Might you have shampoo/conditioner build up?
Have you tried clarifying to see if you can soften the texture?

You also say that it is "shaped like short hair." I don't quite get that, looking at your photos. Did you simply stop cutting to grow?


I started with INSANELY short hair. That's just how it grew out, yep. I recently started trimming and it's more of a \_/ shape now (kind of ugly, if you ask me, but that's just my opinion). By shaped, I mean it just seems like it's wider than it is long. That's the best I can describe it.

And as far as buildup... I only use wen. Could be in need of clarifying, good point. :)

[Mimha]

I think it is quite natural to feel that our hair is shorter than what it really is : your self image needs time to adjust. When people loose weight, it is the same : they need time to really feel that their body is now 2 sizes smaller, for example, and they still look for clothes that are no longer their correct size.

Personally, I often look at other people and think "wow this particular girl has really long hair !" and then realize that my hair is actually longer, lol. To adjust my inner perception, I need to feel my hair length in some way, like when it touches some significant body part : elbow, or lower back, for example. I'm just at hip now and my hair starts to feel more and more present on my lower back. So I feel it is there. It was not the case all the way down from BSL to hip, in the waist area where there is "a curve" in the back, if I may say. I stayed mentally stuck at BSL until I was already beyond waist ! :silly:

[truepeacenik]

Wen has a few fans but many detractors, here. Mainly over cost and billing practices.

I bought a travel kit to test it out.

What I noticed was on third use, I felt a heaviness, a waxiness (different from shampoo bars that need an ACV rinse). It stopped feeling clean.
Two clarifying shampoos later and I use the Wen only as an ends treatment. Length, no. I went back to SLS-free shampoo.

I'd clarify, using a stronger, likely SLS shampoo.
Then use a light to no cone shampoo and conditioner. Compare how it moves then.


ETA:
To address what mimha said above me, I also see my hair as "not long."
I go to a lot of meets. we usually have a line up by length. I was on the end, now I'm usually middle. But hair dysmorphia is ever present.

Another thing, having an appreciation of short hair on others keeps the feeling that one's hair is unacceptably short at bay.
I'm now at, ok, maybe it is "just hair." I'm greedy and I want a lot of it for me.

[HairPlease]

Well said, mimha. :)

Waxiness. Waxiness. That's it! My hair feels WAXY. I'll give that a shot, thanks truepeacenik.
I know what you mean by hair greed, lol.

[Night_Kitten]

...
Personally, I often look at other people and think "wow this particular girl has really long hair !" and then realize that my hair is actually longer, lol.
...

That exactly! I get that too, sometimes looking at hair that is significantly shorter than mine, but somehow on the other girl it looks so loooong while mine feels so short to me... Go figure :rolleyes:

[lapis_lazuli]

You're definitely not alone :) I feel like this alllll the time :rolleyes:

[Nique1202]

My hair didn't really start feeling long until it touched my lower back. It still doesn't feel long enough, but at least now at mid-bum it actually feels capital-L Long. Patience is the only way to long hair, I'm afraid. :blossom:

[HairPlease]

My hair didn't really start feeling long until it touched my lower back. It still doesn't feel long enough, but at least now at mid-bum it actually feels capital-L Long. Patience is the only way to long hair, I'm afraid. :blossom:

Lower back sounds like where it would/should feel long for me. At least... FEEL. I don't know how it's going to look to me. I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see!

[spidermom]

I've had classic length hair then cut back to waist and layered. Let me tell you - my hair has felt short ever since, not helped by the fact that I ran into a friend who hadn't seen me since I cut my hair who immediately exclaimed "your hair is so short now!" It was barely hip length at the time, now between hip and tailbone, and still feels short.

[turtlelover]

Yeah, I am at BSL and still feel like I'm at shoulder sometimes. Today I saw a girl with pretty hair and was thinking how nice it was, and then I realized it was the same length as my own. It seemed so much longer on someone else! HaHA

[Pumpkin3826]

I am in the same boat!!!! Uggh.. It is so frustrating. I know I have been growing my hair out almost four years but sometimes it just feels so short. I look at people who have been growing their hair for 10+ years and I can not wait to get there.. but I have no other choice but to wait to get there! Talk about irony.. I started in on the wear your hair up everyday challenge and since I was my hair only once a week this last week when I was washing it I was so surprised to feel it creeping closer to BCL (might be tmi) , I am currently at hip length but in my mind it is MBL. :( I guess we have to celebrate the small victories.. that or just put our hair up every single day then one day we will take it down and it will touch the floor!

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I think some of the issue is that some of us have negative feelings about shorter hair.
We may not really realize it, but some of us i think do not have a real appreciation for shorter lengths.
As I have said before on other forums, some of us, or really a lot of us focus a lot on length to a point where its almost obsessive.
And I think its kind of hurting us more mentally than helping. Also perspective! I try to remember that my hair doesnt "feel" or "look" short to others like it does to me.
Its hard sometimes, I feel these feelings a lot myself. But I am working on trying to change them.

[Fairyxlights]

I think some of the issue is that some of us have negative feelings about shorter hair.
We may not really realize it, but some of us i think do not have a real appreciation for shorter lengths.
As I have said before on other forums, some of us, or really a lot of us focus a lot on length to a point where its almost obsessive.
And I think its kind of hurting us more mentally than helping. Also perspective! I try to remember that my hair doesnt "feel" or "look" short to others like it does to me.
Its hard sometimes, I feel these feelings a lot myself. But I am working on trying to change them.

I really needed that. Looking at all this gorgeous hair, I find myself with hair greed and the feeling that my hair will never grow past the shoulder+ phase. Perspective is always key. :heart: thanks for the reminder

[Jo Ann]

Mine didn't start feeling "long" until I was undressing for a shower and felt it on my lower back. I was all "When did THAT happen??" :tmi:

Now that I'm feeling it on the upper reaches of my posterior, I'm constantly checking it out to see how far it is from BCL, then doing the mental gymnastics (and hip bone checks) to see how far it is from TBL and when I can reach CL (dry but) stretched :patrol:

[Dark40]

No, you're not the only one that feels like your hair is short. My hair is WL, and it feels like it's BSL. On me, my hair is 3" below BSL.

[peachyleshy]

I feel this way too! As I just posted on another thread, I feel like my back takes up so much of my length. Plus my ends are thin so it doesn't seem to have the weight and flow that I imagine long hair to have. If it was past my belly button in front or maybe touching my bottom then I might feel like it was long. It is frustrating though!

[Dark40]

Yeah, I know whatcha mean with that feeling. I was mid-back-length 3 months ago. I'm glad I had graduated from into the waist to tailbone thread! I think by the end of next year when I reach hip length I will feel that my hair is long then!