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View Full Version : Setback from a "trim" gone wrong, any advice for growing or not growing out layers?



kurlywurlygurl
July 1st, 2016, 07:20 AM
Hello everyone, I haven't been on the site for quite some time now, but I'm back. I feel like I went to someone else for a hair cut and they made a mistake, here I am back to my old faithful online community. It's a good thing this isn't a conversation in person because I wouldn't be able to make eye contact haha.

I got a haircut a few weeks ago after about six months. I thought, I "had to" get a trim because of how long it had been and went to a lady who has cut my hair a few times. I asked for a trim and she showed me how much she was going to cut off before starting. I gave the okay, and it began. (courtesy pictures shall be posted if I can figure it out)

It seemed like a lot of hair was on the ground, but she has an assistant who sweeps the hair up quite quickly and I can't be exactly sure. However, I was so upset when she showed me my hair in the mirror, that I choked up and started to actually cry. I mean what she showed me she was taking off did not seem the size of my palm. Mind you, my hair is a prominent 3a mostly so there might be some shrinkage. I get what is called "a deva cut" and I'm quite over it. I think I posted about my issue with layers vs. no layers with growing long hair since my hair is curly in the past on this forum.

I think what made it worse was that I pay over a hundred bucks to get my hair cut by a curly hair specialist. Not only that, but I drive almost two hours to get to her. And, I don't mind that because I always believed it was worth it (even though it took me a while to really process that lol). Mind you, I never walk out liking my hair because I like how it looks when some of the layers grow back in over time, but that is with any hairstylist. My hair always looks really big and grossly producty. I get stuck under a hot dryer because my hair is cut dry, then washed/styled curly, and then a small trim to shape up any missed bits. I don't think hairstylists are bad people or that my haircut was a bad haircut at all. It just was not what I asked for and I wish my hair length was back to where it was before I got it cut.

I was told that "nobody has ever left my chair not liking what I've given them [...] I'm not used to this kind of negative energy" when I sat there speechless. I think I should have just walked out, but instead I decided to be a bit punny and said: "It's okay, I'm sure it will 'grow on me'." I smiled because if I tried to laugh I'd probably lose it lol. It was the worst feeling ever.

I got into the car and I cried a really good, gross, snotty, sobby, heartfelt cry for the drive home. Bless my lovely mom's soul because she actually got a good hair cut and felt like a million bucks lol. I think it was much needed though and hopefully in a few months I'll let go of it all haha.

I've had horrible hair experiences in the past and it has been years. In highschool, I cut my own hair between haircuts. Finding someone you trust can be so difficult, and I think what made me even angrier was that I have had good cuts in the past. People make mistakes and things happen. I'm just sad because I am back to where I started really.

I take really good care of my hair and I have learned so much over the years. I've got my bottle of conditioner to start cowashing again, and I just have to be patient. These things happen and I know it takes time. I'm going to learn from this experience and maybe, I'll get more frugal and crunchy about it again. I always got compliments on my hair when I did my own thing anyway.

I guess this is more of me just talking about how I feel about my hair and where I'm at right now, but I was just wondering if anyone else has ever had a similar experience. Do you have any stories or advice for growing your hair out? I'm so tempted to grow out my layers again since my hair is curly/wavy, but I know that having it blunt can be awkward too (I've tried it a few times). I think I might just leave it be for a while now. How do you gauge hair like that? I love how everyone on this site kind of does it differently. Some people don't cut their hair at all or not at all often, people have different routines. I've posted in the past about people with curly hair and I just saw my profile picture from here for the first time in a while. My hair has all kind of different layers in it right now and even some little gaps (that's just the nature of deva cuts though). I might just go back to where I was then to be honest (having much longer layers if any at all). I just hate how it often sacrifices curl factor. I'm just glad hair grows.

lapushka
July 1st, 2016, 07:48 AM
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but next time, call in the manager and *complain*! Honestly, I really feel for you here, and especially because you probably paid her too. She should have learned something from this experience; that she can't just do what she wants and most certainly not when she first showed how little she was going to cut off!!!

:grouphug:

kurlywurlygurl
July 1st, 2016, 08:02 AM
lapushka The worst thing is that she is the owner of the salon. Since I got a haircut from "the master stylist" I have to pay for my haircut and I also can't complain. A few people suggested I write a yelp review and I did. I think it's difficult because a lot of people go to her because she has such great reviews. I feel so bad leaving any reviews at all because I am just not that kind of person, but I feel really strongly about this. I feel like my hair is kind of my favorite things in terms of my features suiting my personality. Thank you so much! :)

Also, I haven't ben on for some time and you are just the sweetest. I hope you and your hair are doing lovely. <3

samanthaa
July 1st, 2016, 08:21 AM
"nobody has ever left my chair not liking what I've given them [...] I'm not used to this kind of negative energy"

That's just inappropriate and, quite honestly, a bit cocky. "Negative energy" pfft!

vampyyri
July 1st, 2016, 08:36 AM
Wow, your stylist sounds rather cocky... I'm sorry you had to endure that, but it will indeed "grow on you"! I commend you for being able to have humor in that kind of situation! :grouphug:

pili
July 1st, 2016, 08:39 AM
((((((((Hugs))))))))

Oh, honey, I have been in your shoes! It sucks.

My hair is almost as curly as what I see in your avatar. I've had blunt cuts, curly cuts, Diva cuts, and honestly the best haircuts are the ones I give myself. I will never go to a stylist again in my lifetime. They just don't get it. And as for her not being able to deal with "negativity". Guess what, it's not about her, it's about you. You are the one in her chair, it was your hair not hers! How dare she?!

Do your own thing. Trust your instincts.

turtlelover
July 1st, 2016, 08:39 AM
Do you have photos? Perhaps someone could suggest ways to help deal with it till it grows.

lapushka
July 1st, 2016, 08:41 AM
lapushka The worst thing is that she is the owner of the salon. Since I got a haircut from "the master stylist" I have to pay for my haircut and I also can't complain. A few people suggested I write a yelp review and I did. I think it's difficult because a lot of people go to her because she has such great reviews. I feel so bad leaving any reviews at all because I am just not that kind of person, but I feel really strongly about this. I feel like my hair is kind of my favorite things in terms of my features suiting my personality. Thank you so much! :)

Also, I haven't ben on for some time and you are just the sweetest. I hope you and your hair are doing lovely. <3

Oh thank you so much. I'm glad to have you back here, because I've missed you around here! :D
It's such a terrible thing you're going through now, but we're here for you!!!

lithostoic
July 1st, 2016, 08:54 AM
Wow you're way nicer than me, I would've told her to f*** off and then some. You being (allegedly) her first complaint is not an excuse for her mistake. OR her rudeness. She'd be lucky to get home without a size 9 boot up her bum if she'd've talked to me that way.

That aside, stretching the hair (using various methods) will allow you to fake the length until you get there. Plus it gives a really nice princessy weighed-down-curls look c: Which gives the illusion of thicker/heavier hair! The layers will not be as noticeable this way either.

MINAKO
July 1st, 2016, 09:25 AM
I never really had an incident where they took off alot more than what i asked for, just very wonky one time so i had to correct cut at home a bit more myself. When i was younger i'd probably not have been able to say anything but these days sure as hell i would have reminded her of the length that has been discussed previously and not payed her a cent for doing anything else. What is she gonna do? Tie customer to chair and call the police?? Haha no... It takes time and dedication and also expensive products in our part to get the results we want. If she messed up than that's that. Sure deserved the bad review.

Needless to say it will grow back. But i feel your anger. I suggest learning how to cut your own hair so you can take off length bit by bit even over several day as you please and save alot of money also.

kurlywurlygurl
July 1st, 2016, 11:05 AM
samanthaa Right? I was a bit speechless when she said that to be honest. There was a client right next to me that she was alternating between working on and while she was doing her hair, she said: "Well, I'm glad everything's doing great here, I'm not sure what I can do to fix what's wrong over there (referring to me)."

It's like it has to look like I'm the psycho client that isn't swooning over her work.

I find it a bit funny because for years my friends and family would take me with them during haircuts because it's so scary. I was really good about being a hawk about length and explaining haircuts. It sounds silly, but I wish I had that now haha.

vampyrii Thank you <3 I'm not quite sure how I managed to.

pili Oh my, I totally miss this community. I remember seeing your avatar before. How are you and your hair?! *hugs back through internet* I'm so glad to see your comment because you know the struggle of different hair cuts. I honestly think it's going to be the only way from now on (doing it myself that is). How do you go about it these days? What is your routine, hair goals, everything?! I feel like I just woke up from a long sleep aha!

turtlelover I would love to post pictures, I'm not quite sure how to be honest. I just have a before picture that I take before every hair cut and I also do an after. It's gross and has tears if you look at the after closely lol.

lapushka Aww, how sweet! Do you still cut your hair yourself in that "v" back still? I remember you would always rave about it.

lithostoic Darn, I wish you had been there with me. That's usually my attitude when I go with someone else, but I was quite mum when it came to mine own hair lol. Hmm, maybe if I can get photos up it would give you a better idea. My hair is definitely wonky. I actually have an idea. I have videos before and after my haircut that you could take a look at via my YouTube channel. My deep conditioner video was a few days before my cut (mind you, I just posted it yesterday), and the most recent one is from my hair now.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiX6Cd6ID97Ws0-AjXgkWAg
I'll try to post the pictures as well if turtlelover could help me out with the logistics of it.

MINAKO You are so lucky, it's such a helpless feeling to sit there and watch the disaster unfold. I walked in there with a smile on my face, and I didn't even want to cut my hair because it looked/felt healthy to me. If only I could have looked into the future. It's so true though. We work so darn hard, and take such good care of it just to have it lopped off at someone else's mercy.

I used to cut my hair before and in my profile picture/avatar, I had been cutting my own hair straight across the bottom for quite some time. I totally agree, saving money and sanity--oh, and length lol.

lapushka
July 1st, 2016, 11:18 AM
lapushka Aww, how sweet! Do you still cut your hair yourself in that "v" back still? I remember you would always rave about it.

I do! :D I wouldn't recommend it, though, if your hair is shorter than BSL (because you'll get *really* short layers then), but otherwise, yeah. I love that style, and it doesn't mess with my updos either. I use the ponytail on the forehead method, so basically my longest layers are the ones in the back, which helps with updos. The other method isn't as good, I find for my dos. :)

nakima
July 1st, 2016, 01:01 PM
I had the same thing happen to me years ago and I have not been back to a salon since so I feel ya. I cried for days also. Time heals all wounds and during that time our hair is growing :)You will have it all back in no time. Your hair is very pretty btw and I would call her and let her know how you feel maybe it will make her think twice the next time when cutting someone's long hair.They really need to learn to listen to their customer's.

arr
July 1st, 2016, 01:17 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this. The same thing happened to me, in fact my last salon hair cut disaster is what led me to the LHC. The only advice I can really give you is learn to cut your hair yourself or have a trusted friend or family member help you. It will get better, even a few months of growth will make a difference.

kendraf
July 1st, 2016, 01:49 PM
this happens to me pretty much every time I go to the salon, so sorry about that :( honestly I'd advise most people who are in a serious growth period and are trying to gain as much length as possible to self-trim until reaching a maintenance point, then going in and getting any shaping/layering done if that's what they want. And to always be prepared to lose at least an inch, since most stylists default to that :shrug:

juliemarieeg
July 1st, 2016, 02:16 PM
I have had a horrible experience as well! Every time I look at my hair, it takes everything in me not to just burst out and cry. I'm still torn between growing out my hair and then restyling/shaping it or cutting it to all a short, symmetrical layer. But I have never had my hair as short as it would need to be to reach symmetry!

kurlywurlygurl
July 1st, 2016, 04:27 PM
lapushka I'll have to try it once it's long enough haha

nakima This is true, time will make my hair grow and maybe the grudge will disappear with time too. I don't know if I have the heart to call or if she would honestly care. I think the best ones are the ones that listen. Honestly, it's not a bad haircut. Like I said, it's just not what I trusted her to do. I know better than to ever get relaxed in a chair.

arr I agree, I think I need a solid six months to get this going in full swing. But, I agree that sometimes it takes a situation like this to remember how great the simple things can be. I'm glad you came across LHC. It's pretty great right?

kendraf I think that is something I can attest to and probably the most accurate analysis I've come across. It really always goes the same way. I think maintenance and then very careful monitoring to get the layers is best. It's just hard because when I chopped my hair off to start doing that in my avatar, I had gotten so far and I gave in to getting layers put in deva style again. I'm back to square one in that regard. I want to cut it to the shortest layer to get it growing again, but at the same time I think I should just let grow for some time before starting with the micro/maintenance cycle you mentioned.

juliemarieeg I'm so sorry lovely, I've definitely been there and this time around it was pretty bad the first day. I'm honestly considering the same, and I gave in the first time (I got as far as my avatar). My shortest pieces are like bob length if I were to chop it all evenly. I also think I would hate my hair more if I did that and growed it out. Atleast, this way it's kind of uneven in a fairytale kind of way. I can just let it be wild and take it for what it is as it makes it's way down. Then I can gradually cut from the bottom, keep growing, and then once I'm somewhat happy I'll get some longer layers or a touch of face framing one. The thing is my hair looks kind of sad without atleast some layers. I just have to find the balance, and so it begins. So, I guess that's my plan for now. I'm here for you. :o

pili
July 1st, 2016, 05:05 PM
Kurlywurlygirl, you can check my hair blog on here for the latest on my hair (I don't want to high jack your thread!)

I'll be updating the photo soon, since that was back in Feb., but otherwise I am using the LCO method, CO washing and putting it up. Putting it up really helps keep me from obsessing over the growth while it's so short. Otherwise, I just come here and drool over everyone else's long hair.

Leannan
July 1st, 2016, 09:13 PM
Hello I am new to this board. I am sorry that happened to you. The reason I am here on this board is because I got a terrible haircut about 3 months ago. Not a day goes by that I dont' deal with feelings of anger about it. It was very long and the hairbutcherer cut of more than half my hair. I sat in her chair and said please take off an inch. It is the worst hair cut of my entire life I'm not kidding it is so butchered in the back it's really hard to believe. My hair was probably 24 inches or so long and now it is all different lengths, even 6 inch pieces that make no sense whatsoever. I didn't sense what was really happening until it was too late. I did stop her. She got an attitude but the hair is just butchered. So I am going through it and will be goign through it for at least 2 years.

I just can't even believe I said take one inch off and wound up with half my hair gone. I have said it before that I will never get another cut from a 'hairstylist', but this is so traumatic that I really mean it I will neverr trust another. I came here to get support and learn ways to cope with my anger over this, it feels like such a violation.

spirals
July 1st, 2016, 09:21 PM
"nobody has ever left my chair not liking what I've given them [...] I'm not used to this kind of negative energy"
That's just inappropriate and, quite honestly, a bit cocky. "Negative energy" pfft!
Exactly my feeling. My jaw dropped a little when I read that.


honestly the best haircuts are the ones I give myself
Me, too.



That aside, stretching the hair (using various methods) will allow you to fake the length until you get there. Plus it gives a really nice princessy weighed-down-curls look
I do this often.


samanthaa Right? I was a bit speechless when she said that to be honest. There was a client right next to me that she was alternating between working on and while she was doing her hair, she said: "Well, I'm glad everything's doing great here, I'm not sure what I can do to fix what's wrong over there (referring to me)."

That's even worse! :mad:

lapushka
July 2nd, 2016, 06:18 AM
lapushka I'll have to try it once it's long enough haha

Okidoki! :D It's not a bad method for curls & wurls, IMO. I would rec at least waist length, though, your shortest layer might end up shorter than APL. I don't recall where my layers where. I'm classic now and my shortest layer is BSL. But I'm still growing in hair from trying the other method, so that might skew things a bit. Yeah, it's not for the faint of heart. :lol:

spirals
July 2nd, 2016, 11:24 AM
lapushka, I'm almost hip with APL layers. I can relate. I was practicing buns last night and all the layers were driving me nuts! Wrapped buns just don't work as well as twisted ones.

JadedByEntropy
July 2nd, 2016, 05:19 PM
kurlywurlygurl
I've missed your posts! glad youre back! :)

sorry about her attitude/pricing/location/rudeness/lying... :headache: yikes. Definitely go back to your own talented hands. You know your curls best. Blunt might be a little odd with the curls, but a U or shallow V would allow them to lay really cute. :) APL is still long in the real world-don't forget that. :) It will grow back soon.

For all the responses of speaking up, that is not in my nature either, and i think you were really strong in the moment to stay in control like that. When tears happen its hard to make jokes and play it off. Sometimes, a strong yelp review :cheer: when you can breathe again is better than making a fuss and truly becoming the 'psycho client'. I also agree with walking out...especially since the mean girl wasn't even cheap...but i have also been truly disappointed by awful cuts and even trips for a shampoo where i've gone home and washed crud out of my hair......and yet still paid and said nice things. Its not bad that you are kind. <3 its sad that someone would hurt a kind person like you. <3

:grouphug:

at all lengths, your curls are beautiful, :crush: and i'll be happy to wait with you as it gets longer and more appear.

lapushka
July 3rd, 2016, 09:23 AM
lapushka, I'm almost hip with APL layers. I can relate. I was practicing buns last night and all the layers were driving me nuts! Wrapped buns just don't work as well as twisted ones.

Yeah, but I like my layers! ;) I always do my LWB twisted, so, it doesn't bother me as much, I guess. It's just others might not like this, which is why I'm warning for "the layers". :lol:

Wendyp
July 3rd, 2016, 11:50 AM
This is why I started getting active on this site. I couldn't get people to trim my hair, they would first few times then it would turn into 2-3 inches off at a time! Now I'm micro trimming my own hair and following a correct routine for my hair type and length. I'm trying to grow out these weird uneven layers now.

Bottom line your not alone!

spirals
July 3rd, 2016, 12:49 PM
Yeah, but I like my layers! ;) I always do my LWB twisted, so, it doesn't bother me as much, I've realized twisted buns work best for me. But do you think twisting causes more mechanical damage? I don't really know.

lapushka
July 3rd, 2016, 02:01 PM
I've realized twisted buns work best for me. But do you think twisting causes more mechanical damage? I don't really know.

Depends on how tightly you twist, I think. I don't twist tightly, since my texture kind of prevents me from doing so (and it's thick, so harder to twist).

spirals
July 3rd, 2016, 02:07 PM
I guess time will tell. At least it compacts my curls and makes it easier to bun.

littlestarface
July 3rd, 2016, 02:08 PM
I know this is offtopic but OPs' siggy looks like a drawing of Gossamers siggy :lol:

vampyyri
July 3rd, 2016, 02:15 PM
There was a client right next to me that she was alternating between working on and while she was doing her hair, she said: "Well, I'm glad everything's doing great here, I'm not sure what I can do to fix what's wrong over there (referring to me)."

Oh my god WHAT?!! I'm normally a docile person, but if I heard someone say that about me, I would have given them the finger and left without paying.

lapushka
July 3rd, 2016, 03:02 PM
Oh my god WHAT?!! I'm normally a docile person, but if I heard someone say that about me, I would have given them the finger and left without paying.

I would have gone, "Excuse me? Are you talking about me?" Then see what she would have said!

Novine
July 3rd, 2016, 07:43 PM
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I don't trust stylists that much anymore either. They seem to all be so scissor happy. The people I know with the longest hair seem to do their own hair. Stylists get so obsessed with every strand being perfect that they are willing to hack and hack at months of growth until it looks like it does on the mannequin.

kurlywurlygurl
July 4th, 2016, 01:05 AM
pili I'll definitely take a look at your blog! I like putting it up for the most part as well, but I think wearing my hair down is something I rely on. Now, that my hair is kind of different lengths everywhere. It might take some time before updos become a thing again--or atleast, regularly. Does you blog have products listed as well?

Leannan I am so sorry that happened to you. My hair is also all different lengths since that is the nature of a devacut. I'm glad you are atleast three months in, I wish the time went by faster. Atleast, we know now and we can take matters into our own hands. We will get through this. :)

spirals I love how you came in and referred to everyone a bit lol. How are you?! Your hair looks lovely in your avatar!

lapuskha It doesn't sound like my heart is strong enough, but once I get there we can talk more about it. I'll ask you for some pointers!

JadedByEntropy Aww, it's so nice to be remembered! I hope you're doing well. The "u"/"v" idea is a good idea, I'll let you know how it goes once I get there. I want to grow out most of the layers soon (some of them are pretty short). You're right in APL being long in the so called "real world" haha. I didn't think of that.

It really is difficult when you're in the midst of it all and the disaster is unfolding. I'm really glad it's over. It would have been nice to talk some sense into myself at the time, but I'm glad I'm on the other side now. I know the feeling of paying for things you think you need or are told you just can't do the same yourself only to learn you might have been doing a better job yourself. I even tipped because I usually do, my mom liked her hair cut though--look at me justifying lol.

Thank you so much, this is why I really love this community. I like how we can share our own experiences, say our hellos, mutually angst when needed and just 'get' the whole hair thing. It really is such a great thign to have.

I will definitely ask you for advice and insight about it as it gets longer-- believe me, I'll definitely be fighting between layers/no layers among other things lol.

You are so kind and your hair is just lovely. :heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat:inlove:

I really appreciate it. <3

WendyP I think I'm an example of this now. How often do you microtrim? I think I'm going to wait six months for sure and then see how the ends are doing. I usually get my hair cut twice a year at most. Since I'm taking matters into my own hands, it might be different now though. I just get afraid of being too scissor happy. I've got some fairly short layers of all lengths all over my head. It makes the curls look better than having it blunt/one length when it's on the shorter side.

littlestarface I've had this picture since I first made this account, I think I found it online on a site like pinterest called weheartit. I don't want to rip off of anyone else's profile. I can take it down if it's a problem! :bigeyes:

Okay, I just looked up Gossamer. She has amazingly long hair, and her siggy is so cute! I feel kind of lame now because my picture really does look like a drawing of it! :rolling:

vampyyri I wish you could have used your WL powers to some how have made me do something. I was honestly in such shock and sitting there in front of a mirror watching it happen was the most devastating thing. I'm taking a Children's Literature class right now, we read "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe", and I felt like the scene where Aslan gets his mane chopped off by the Witch. It's the most accurate way to explain it. Susan and Lucy are off to one side crying with their muffled sobs...
If you haven't seen it or know what I'm talking about, it might be slightly awkward.

Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention this. But, your hair is actually "goals". I really want true waist length hair so badly. The color, the length, the hair, and just everything. I love your hair! I'm not even sure what your actual hair goals are, but I really want to just feel like a mermaid again. I miss having something on my back even though it feels like a wool scarf in the summers. It's like it becomes an extension of your anatomy.

Novine I wouldn't be surprised that the longest hair people are also more inclined to watch their length carefully. I just think it's cheaper, you have more control, and you can' t really blame anyone for your hair. Not to mention, there is always the option to go to one later if you really want to.

Zebra Fish
July 4th, 2016, 02:20 AM
Uh, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't have curly hair, so can't relate to that. Few years ago (3,5 I think) I wanted to go from V cut to straight, but not at once, go first for a U/V mix, then U, shallower U and than straight. I explained that to the hairdresser and asked her not to do a V cut again, but shape it to a light U/V. Instead, she did an even more deeper V, that started from my neck ad left me with almost literaly few hairs at the point of the V. And said that this suited me better, that she should have cut even more and I should dye it (I was growing out dye and hennaing - didin't say anything about henna ofc coz I just went for a cut). Long story short, my ends are still quite thin coz I haven't cut all the V out, the lower parts are still from that cut... That was also the last time I went to a hairdresser. I learned to selftrim and now it does SO for me. So, you kinda do learn sth from it :p

Wendyp
July 4th, 2016, 06:42 AM
pili I'll definitely take a look at your blog! I like putting it up for the most part as well, but I think wearing my hair down is something I rely on. Now, that my hair is kind of different lengths everywhere. It might take some time before updos become a thing again--or atleast, regularly. Does you blog have products listed as well?

Leannan I am so sorry that happened to you. My hair is also all different lengths since that is the nature of a devacut. I'm glad you are atleast three months in, I wish the time went by faster. Atleast, we know now and we can take matters into our own hands. We will get through this. :)

spirals I love how you came in and referred to everyone a bit lol. How are you?! Your hair looks lovely in your avatar!

lapuskha It doesn't sound like my heart is strong enough, but once I get there we can talk more about it. I'll ask you for some pointers!

JadedByEntropy Aww, it's so nice to be remembered! I hope you're doing well. The "u"/"v" idea is a good idea, I'll let you know how it goes once I get there. I want to grow out most of the layers soon (some of them are pretty short). You're right in APL being long in the so called "real world" haha. I didn't think of that.

It really is difficult when you're in the midst of it all and the disaster is unfolding. I'm really glad it's over. It would have been nice to talk some sense into myself at the time, but I'm glad I'm on the other side now. I know the feeling of paying for things you think you need or are told you just can't do the same yourself only to learn you might have been doing a better job yourself. I even tipped because I usually do, my mom liked her hair cut though--look at me justifying lol.

Thank you so much, this is why I really love this community. I like how we can share our own experiences, say our hellos, mutually angst when needed and just 'get' the whole hair thing. It really is such a great thign to have.

I will definitely ask you for advice and insight about it as it gets longer-- believe me, I'll definitely be fighting between layers/no layers among other things lol.

You are so kind and your hair is just lovely. :heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat:inlove:

I really appreciate it. <3

WendyP I think I'm an example of this now. How often do you microtrim? I think I'm going to wait six months for sure and then see how the ends are doing. I usually get my hair cut twice a year at most. Since I'm taking matters into my own hands, it might be different now though. I just get afraid of being too scissor happy. I've got some fairly short layers of all lengths all over my head. It makes the curls look better than having it blunt/one length when it's on the shorter side.

littlestarface I've had this picture since I first made this account, I think I found it online on a site like pinterest called weheartit. I don't want to rip off of anyone else's profile. I can take it down if it's a problem! :bigeyes:

Okay, I just looked up Gossamer. She has amazingly long hair, and her siggy is so cute! I feel kind of lame now because my picture really does look like a drawing of it! :rolling:

vampyyri I wish you could have used your WL powers to some how have made me do something. I was honestly in such shock and sitting there in front of a mirror watching it happen was the most devastating thing. I'm taking a Children's Literature class right now, we read "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe", and I felt like the scene where Aslan gets his mane chopped off by the Witch. It's the most accurate way to explain it. Susan and Lucy are off to one side crying with their muffled sobs...
If you haven't seen it or know what I'm talking about, it might be slightly awkward.

Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention this. But, your hair is actually "goals". I really want true waist length hair so badly. The color, the length, the hair, and just everything. I love your hair! I'm not even sure what your actual hair goals are, but I really want to just feel like a mermaid again. I miss having something on my back even though it feels like a wool scarf in the summers. It's like it becomes an extension of your anatomy.

Novine I wouldn't be surprised that the longest hair people are also more inclined to watch their length carefully. I just think it's cheaper, you have more control, and you can' t really blame anyone for your hair. Not to mention, there is always the option to go to one later if you really want to.

Just one time so far as I started last month. My hair is fine tho so I'm going to do it as needed. I have this deep v from bad trims that I'm trying to grow out. I trim as little as possible lol

lapushka
July 4th, 2016, 07:38 AM
lapuskha It doesn't sound like my heart is strong enough, but once I get there we can talk more about it. I'll ask you for some pointers!

Sure! Let me know! :D

pili
July 4th, 2016, 07:43 AM
pili I'll definitely take a look at your blog! I like putting it up for the most part as well, but I think wearing my hair down is something I rely on. Now, that my hair is kind of different lengths everywhere. It might take some time before updos become a thing again--or atleast, regularly. Does you blog have products listed as well?


I actually found a brand through Instagram called Au Rebelle. It's made by two ladies in their kitchen and it is amazing! It is a curly hair line. Here is a link: http://instagram.com/anunaturals
I list which products I use in my profile.

chen bao jun
July 4th, 2016, 12:17 PM
She was a bully.

I think that might be leaving you with the bad taste in your mouth even more than the haircut.

She pretended to listen to what you said you wanted, did what she felt like, invalidated your right to even be upset by saying that YOU were giving off negative energy, AND finished off by putting you down to another person in an extremely inappropriate way. Then took your money, on top of it, and left you to deal with the results of something she did that was in no way your fault.

Like a lot of bullies, she knew exactly what to do to run over you like a truck and get away with it, clearly this is a practiced thing so don't be upset that you didn't know how to respond in your stunned shock and ended up being meek and docile. The worst bullies know how to make You feel guilty afterwards for that THEY did--and to make you feel like the crazy one. This would happen to many people, if not most people. Be proud that you got out with your dignity intact, which you did and also it is great that you wrote the yelp review to warn people about her. Who knows who has been writing all the positive reviews? (Friends? Other people from her salon?) You are also doing the best thing by looking at the positive, figuring out how to make the best of it and planning for the future. You and your beautiful hair will be okay. And you will learn from this. You have learned already. You have choices. I know you won't be going back to her and if you do decide that you would like to go to a hairdresser again, you will know ways to keep your control, over your own hair, next time.

I think the great thing about this forum is that it helps so much with being able to feel a sense of control over one's hair, which IS so personal and actually is one of your body parts (albeit, unlike like an arm or leg, self-renewing).

I am not saying all hairdressers are bullies. Even ones that end up not doing what you like or cutting too much. But how this woman behaved to you afterwards, that is bullying and of course you feel bad because you sense it, in spite of her expert gaslighting. But again, you will be fine and since she is the one who actually has the problems with negative energy, you can be assured she will punish herself, no need to think about her any further, ever again. YOu did great, you are strong.

littlestarface
July 4th, 2016, 02:13 PM
Loll no it's not a problem was just saying how much they look similar. It's pretty cool.

anou
July 4th, 2016, 02:29 PM
I'm so sorry this happened to you :grouphug:
Unfortunately, you have to grow it out... There is really no other way. I had a similar bad experience. I like long layers (not too many) since they give my wavy hair a bit of movement and bounce. So I went to get my long layers trimmed to about APL and ended up with awful layers in the front that were CHIN LENGTH. From then on I decided to grow my hair. I want to grow the layers out and it's a painful process...

kurlywurlygurl
July 6th, 2016, 01:40 AM
pili Do you know if au rebelle products are vegan/cruelty free at all? There isn't much info on their website. Once I'm out of products (I have a lot I've hoarded lol), I might give them a try.

chen bao jun Thank you so much for such a long response. It really is the worst and most helpless feeling. And you're right, I had not thought of it like that.

I agree, there are so many great things about this forum. I love that it's out there for us to mutually angst, learn, and ultimately grow our hair.:o

littlestarface :eek:

anou We all kind of end up walking in because we think we're doing the right thing and walk in for a trim lol. We will get through this and hopefully get out hair to where we want it soon. Have you been trimming the ends yourself to get it where you want it? I think I might just leave it alone and try to forget about it (I'm not sure how that will go lol), because hopefully the shorter layers will get to a point that doesn't bother me. However, I think that it's going to look awkward with random bits and bobs of varied lengths while being flat at the top. I'm not sure if that makes sense.

Tassledown
August 4th, 2016, 01:23 PM
I can definitely relate to this kind of feeling and I'm glad that LHC gives such a good place to vent about these kinds of feelings about salon fails. I don't ever intend to go into another hair salon again, because I just don't trust them with my hair. I cannot remember ever getting a haircut I actually liked in a salon (although, to be fair, before I finally learned how to take care of my curly hair, I really never cared for it either. Now that I do know how I don't trust any of THEM to know.) The last cut I liked was when I got a friend to buzz my head like I'd always been curious about. I liked it; I also realized I like long hair more once I did it. I've got "layers" from the fact that I've gotten it straightened out once I decided to grow it long after that, so either I'll wind up at terminal length or get exasperated enough to learn how to trim curly hair properly myself.

Hairstylists are probably perfectly nice people, but you really have to find one that listens to you and agrees with your plans for your hair it seems, and that's quite a bit of work. I'm really sorry to hear that you had to find out yours didn't care for you this way. I hope you find more things to do with the results as time goes on, I can't think of a better place than here to go for resources.

vampyyri
August 4th, 2016, 02:23 PM
Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention this. But, your hair is actually "goals". I really want true waist length hair so badly. The color, the length, the hair, and just everything. I love your hair! I'm not even sure what your actual hair goals are, but I really want to just feel like a mermaid again. I miss having something on my back even though it feels like a wool scarf in the summers. It's like it becomes an extension of your anatomy.

Oh my goodness I completely missed this comment! A month later this made me smile from ear to ear, thank you <3