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Iamsiam
June 12th, 2016, 09:22 PM
Super long hair isn't exactly the norm these days with the current trends of over processed, over layered hair. It seems to me that whenever I tell people how long I want my hair for some reason they freak out. At work the other day a man I don't particularly like told me to "get a haircut you hippy". I was sooooo angry!!! How rude!!! Have any of you had similar experiences with people opposing your locks?

WannabeViking
June 12th, 2016, 09:32 PM
Speaking as a guy, I've definitely gotten the hippie comments. I just laugh at them. :D

Decoy24601
June 12th, 2016, 09:36 PM
My step mother used to always tell me to get my hair cut. She said long hair was old fashioned and she was sick of seeing my hair all over the house and getting in the vacuum. She was normally extremely rude to me about my hair (we didn't get along, can you tell?)

When I was little I was often teased for the color of my hair, since I'm a natural redhead. For some reason at the time having red hair wasn't a good thing. It made me stand out from everyone else, which made me the target of very cruel elementary school kids. My hair was a big part of the reason I was ostracized in school.

I don't get negative comments about my hair anymore though, especially since red hair is very much in style now. People are too busy thinking about the color of my hair to ever say anything negative about the length. I think it's also a regional thing too. People where I live are normally polite and friendly to strangers.

I wouldn't worry about what other people think of your hair, even though that's harder said than done. Do what makes you feel good about yourself and your hair. Grow it to the floor and beyond if you want.

Personally, I wouldn't have let that man off so easily. I probably would have said something like "What makes you think I care what you say?", although I do follow the redhead stereotype of having a hot temper. I wouldn't have let that comment go.

spirals
June 12th, 2016, 10:03 PM
I've been insulted for the texture, but not the length. In junior high I was told if you turned me upside down the floor could be mopped with my hair. Yeah, I was Mophead.

Frankenstein
June 13th, 2016, 12:23 AM
My (former) best friend once told me my hair was too long :rolleyes:

Adorkable One
June 13th, 2016, 02:26 AM
I got called Hermione in high school because my hair had a slight resemblance back then. I stood out because the trend at the time was straight or scene hair. Other than that, no one bothered me much.

MINAKO
June 13th, 2016, 04:13 AM
I don't keep that sort of stuff in my mind. But i remember one time a bunch of kids where talking loudly as i was passing by that i would probably use that thing in my hair (two prong fork) to eat my food too. You know... dirty a$$ foreign looking little me with no hygiene standards, even if dressed to the nines. Usually climbing trees naked, picking coconuts with her feet using chopstick. Accessories must be practical... Uhm yeah bye!!
All of them had uncombed looking fried by box dye hair. I was laughing.

beraemcclary
June 13th, 2016, 05:36 AM
I've only ever been insulted for having short hair, which has happened several times. I refused to give my phone number to a stranger and he said "That's ok, I only like girls with long hair." I've also had many boyfriends not-so-subtly encourage me to grow my hair out....

That being said, my best friend got a complaint from a guy who said her hair was too long. I told her about all my insults for having short hair. We concluded that people will complain about anything, so you should just do what you want!

Moonfall
June 13th, 2016, 05:49 AM
Yes, many times actually. I'm really sensitive to those comments. My hair has never been past MBL, so it's often more the texture the comments are about.

Back in high school, people often made negative remarks about my hair. They would tell me the texture was weird and ugly, and once a this random girl I didn't even know told me "Omg stop wearing your hair down." Sometimes they would just laugh or tell me to cut it. I have always had a (serious) phobia of scissors coming anywhere near my hair. In high school a girl noticed this and told my classmates. I didn't actually hear her say it but I was fairly sure once girls from my class randomly started making hair cutting gestures around me. I was so afraid, it was a horrible time!

It was also around that time we were learning about static electricity in class. We had one of those electrostatic generators at school, and the teacher asked if someone wanted to demonstrate the effects of touching it (you know, that kind of thing where your hair gets like this (https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jZEFuCxD7BE/maxresdefault.jpg)). The entire class said I had to do it because it would look so funny. They were all laughing of course and it still makes me feel bad. At that time, I had very bad social anxiety too, which made things way worse.

Although I would panic every time I went to a salon, I used to visit one every four months or so when I was younger. The stylists were often like "omg what did you do to your hair?". Kind of funny actually, since they were the ones with bleached perms while I have always treated my hair like fine silk. Again the texture appeared to be the reason behind those comments. Also, they would ask me why I didn't want any layers each time, while I clearly wanted my hair one length. When I turned eighteen, I decided not to go to a salon anymore. I haven't been to one in four years now. Two years ago, I was insecure about my ends and asked a stylist what she thought about it. When she said it would probably be best if I let her cut it to shoulder length, I made sure to get out of there as quickly as possible!

Nowadays I wear my hair up most of the time, in order to protect the ends. That's probably why I haven't received any comments lately. My sister has TBL hair which she straightens several times a week, and she mixes all sorts of shampoos and conditioners together because they smell so good, and she gets so many compliments I almost turn green with envy. Our mom often feels sorry for me and tells those people "My other daughter has beautiful hair as well," and they either just look and say nothing or tell her "Yes, but that's different." I dedicate so much of my time to try to make my hair look like hair and not like straw, but I guess it won't ever make a difference, unless some miracle changes my texture. :-(

reilly0167
June 13th, 2016, 06:04 AM
Growing up when my hair was cut in an afro, I was always told my hair can be used as Velcro.

lithostoic
June 13th, 2016, 06:44 AM
I was an emo kid when it was not cool to be an emo kid. So yeah I've received bad comments about my hair lol.

lulikrueger
June 13th, 2016, 06:50 AM
Never anything bad about my length, but it was madness about side/undercuts and crazy colours.
I would always get called a lesbian for my more "alternative" looks, but I don't take that as an insult at all, the ****ty part is that people would assume I'm a rebel or angry or things like that. People who never even met me would say I'm "revolted". I remember when I went to this doctor(first time ever seeing this guy), he took one look at my hair and said "She's a feisty one, huh?". Not really, dude, not really.
In middle school I was picked on actually not for having "ugly" hair, but because the other girls wanted hair like mine. I don't blame them for feeling pressured to have the hair that's "in", since Brazil used to be quite strict about what was good and bad appearance-wise(glad that's changing now), but they would dip my ends in acrylic paint, cut my hair and even try to burn it off, and that's plain ********.

diddiedaisy
June 13th, 2016, 07:18 AM
Our mom often feels sorry for me and tells those people "My other daughter has beautiful hair as well," :-(

That is so lovely for your Mum to do that. It's welled me up inside, I miss my Mum.

Anyhow, what I have learnt in life is that negative people will just drag you down to their level if you let them. They are almost always negative because they feel that way about themselves in some way or another. They don't deserve a second thought.

Arctic
June 13th, 2016, 07:33 AM
Yes, many times actually. I'm really sensitive to those comments. My hair has never been past MBL, so it's often more the texture the comments are about.

Back in high school, people often made negative remarks about my hair. They would tell me the texture was weird and ugly, and once a this random girl I didn't even know told me "Omg stop wearing your hair down." Sometimes they would just laugh or tell me to cut it. I have always had a (serious) phobia of scissors coming anywhere near my hair. In high school a girl noticed this and told my classmates. I didn't actually hear her say it but I was fairly sure once girls from my class randomly started making hair cutting gestures around me. I was so afraid, it was a horrible time!

It was also around that time we were learning about static electricity in class. We had one of those electrostatic generators at school, and the teacher asked if someone wanted to demonstrate the effects of touching it (you know, that kind of thing where your hair gets like this (https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jZEFuCxD7BE/maxresdefault.jpg)). The entire class said I had to do it because it would look so funny. They were all laughing of course and it still makes me feel bad. At that time, I had very bad social anxiety too, which made things way worse.

Although I would panic every time I went to a salon, I used to visit one every four months or so when I was younger. The stylists were often like "omg what did you do to your hair?". Kind of funny actually, since they were the ones with bleached perms while I have always treated my hair like fine silk. Again the texture appeared to be the reason behind those comments. Also, they would ask me why I didn't want any layers each time, while I clearly wanted my hair one length. When I turned eighteen, I decided not to go to a salon anymore. I haven't been to one in four years now. Two years ago, I was insecure about my ends and asked a stylist what she thought about it. When she said it would probably be best if I let her cut it to shoulder length, I made sure to get out of there as quickly as possible!

Nowadays I wear my hair up most of the time, in order to protect the ends. That's probably why I haven't received any comments lately. My sister has TBL hair which she straightens several times a week, and she mixes all sorts of shampoos and conditioners together because they smell so good, and she gets so many compliments I almost turn green with envy. Our mom often feels sorry for me and tells those people "My other daughter has beautiful hair as well," and they either just look and say nothing or tell her "Yes, but that's different." I dedicate so much of my time to try to make my hair look like hair and not like straw, but I guess it won't ever make a difference, unless some miracle changes my texture. :-(

I got so sad after reading your story :grouphug:

Have you read some of the coarse hair related threads we have here? Those could give you hair care ideas and also feeling of pride about your hair type. Let the past be past, and enjoy your hair now, I am sure your mom is right, and it's beautiful!

lapushka
June 13th, 2016, 07:37 AM
Personally, I wouldn't have let that man off so easily. I probably would have said something like "What makes you think I care what you say?", although I do follow the redhead stereotype of having a hot temper. I wouldn't have let that comment go.

Same here, although sometimes it takes you by surprise, you know? :)

Mademoiselle
June 13th, 2016, 08:47 AM
At school the kids told me that I had gray hair in the area of the temples.
My hair naturally has two strands at the temples which are platinum blonde, and whenever I put in a ponytail were teasing me saying they were gray ...
When turned 16 I dyed my hair black, so that no one would notice these strands.
Now I love it =) and I am growing my natural color, it looks that are simply very blond locks, at this age no one would say they are gray, but children can be very cruel.

gingerknits
June 13th, 2016, 09:05 AM
Not really as an adult... I tend to dress on the conservative side; partly because I work for a conservative Southern law firm and partly because I am really into 40s-50s style fashion. Every now and again I will get some Pentecostal type comment, which doesn't make much sense because I am covered in tattoos and my hair is only MBL, but I digress.

As a child, though, I was mercilessly teased for being a natural redhead and basically being the "different" one.

lapushka
June 13th, 2016, 09:17 AM
I remember a few odd comments back when it went from 1b/c to 2b/c wavy, yeah. That's the reason why I started trying to find a solution and started crimping it. At least I had "controlled" poof instead of crazy poof. :lol:

Mademoiselle
June 13th, 2016, 09:18 AM
Not really as an adult... I tend to dress on the conservative side; partly because I work for a conservative Southern law firm and partly because I am really into 40s-50s style fashion. Every now and again I will get some Pentecostal type comment, which doesn't make much sense because I am covered in tattoos and my hair is only MBL, but I digress.

As a child, though, I was mercilessly teased for being a natural redhead and basically being the "different" one.

Ignore ever! Being different is displayed as we are, we are all different, but some strive to be all equal, for fear that judguen them, we should all love ourselves as we are. I love natural redheads, many people liked and many others not, but is wrong to mock anything. we are all different and that's nice:)

Cg
June 13th, 2016, 10:02 AM
I have no idea. The opinions of others regarding my personal choices have never interested me, so if anyone ever said anything, I instantly ignored it.

missrandie
June 13th, 2016, 10:23 AM
Ohhhh yes. But they didn't start until I cut it in a pixie.

My pixie wasn't judged at all in Iowa, but as soon as I moved down to Texas, it started. Many many automatic, rude assumptions about my sexuality, flat out shunning, etc. It really sucked.

Growing up, my hair was simply "too long." and when wearing a log roll hairstyle, one of the girls in my class informed me that I had a penis on my head. We were in 4th grade.

Silverbrumby
June 13th, 2016, 10:26 AM
My sister asked me "where did you park your broom".

Arctic
June 13th, 2016, 10:27 AM
My sister asked me "where did you park your broom".

You should have said: "On your head!"

Moonfall
June 13th, 2016, 11:10 AM
@ Diddiedaisy and Arctic, thank you so much for your kind words :)


Quote Originally Posted by Silverbrumby View Post
My sister asked me "where did you park your broom".
You should have said: "On your head!"

That cracked me up, hahaha!



Never anything bad about my length, but it was madness about side/undercuts and crazy colours.
I would always get called a lesbian for my more "alternative" looks, but I don't take that as an insult at all, the ****ty part is that people would assume I'm a rebel or angry or things like that. People who never even met me would say I'm "revolted". I remember when I went to this doctor(first time ever seeing this guy), he took one look at my hair and said "She's a feisty one, huh?". Not really, dude, not really.
In middle school I was picked on actually not for having "ugly" hair, but because the other girls wanted hair like mine. I don't blame them for feeling pressured to have the hair that's "in", since Brazil used to be quite strict about what was good and bad appearance-wise(glad that's changing now), but they would dip my ends in acrylic paint, cut my hair and even try to burn it off, and that's plain ********.

Lulikrueger, that is truly horrible, and I'm so sorry to read that. People can be so terrible. I didn't experience those horrors, but one time a guy did try to burn my hair too. I don't know if he would've actually done it, but it still makes me cringe. Anyway, I hope you are able to leave it all behind and move on, although I can imagine that could be very hard with things like that. :grouphug:

spirals
June 13th, 2016, 11:14 AM
I refused to give my phone number to a stranger and he said "That's ok, I only like girls with long hair."Yeah, right. If he didn't like short hair he wouldn't have tried to get your digits. He's a chauvanist and a liar.

spidermom
June 13th, 2016, 11:14 AM
Usually comments about my hair are compliments. My father did tell me once that I'd look younger if I'd cut my hair.

littlestarface
June 13th, 2016, 11:26 AM
Not really as an adult... I tend to dress on the conservative side; partly because I work for a conservative Southern law firm and partly because I am really into 40s-50s style fashion. Every now and again I will get some Pentecostal type comment, which doesn't make much sense because I am covered in tattoos and my hair is only MBL, but I digress.

As a child, though, I was mercilessly teased for being a natural redhead and basically being the "different" one.

Crazy. I love red hair, I wish I had it like seriously If I see someone with hair like yours or the user Red.http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/member.php?u=73699 I go nuts lol.

Growing up I never seen anyone with red hair so I never saw anyone be made fun of cuz of that. It's mind boggling to think other people dont like red hair. It's so pretty like fire, when it's wavy it looks uncontrollably firey waves. Who could make fun of that?!

gingerknits
June 13th, 2016, 11:34 AM
Crazy. I love red hair, I wish I had it like seriously If I see someone with hair like yours or the user Red.http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/member.php?u=73699 I go nuts lol.

Growing up I never seen anyone with red hair so I never saw anyone be made fun of cuz of that. It's mind boggling to think other people dont like red hair. It's so pretty like fire, when it's wavy it looks uncontrollably firey waves. Who could make fun of that?!

Little kids can be super mean! I love seeing some of the girls I grew up with who bullied me try to pull off red hair as adults.

Stepo_NiNha
June 13th, 2016, 11:36 AM
Yes. I already worked in a hotel and a work mate told me: "do you know that here in the hotel, there is a group of worldwide known hairstylists that have just arrived? So if you want to ask for an opinion... Here is the chance!". I dont know if it was length, texture, colour... Or altogether. I didn't ask back why he just said that but I didn't like it.

spirals
June 13th, 2016, 11:47 AM
I didn't ask back why he just said
Because he's blind? I mean, I just don't get that. Your hair is absolutely gorgeous. That color, that shine. Yeah, maybe he's been hit in the head too many times or something.

Moonfall
June 13th, 2016, 12:27 PM
Because he's blind? I mean, I just don't get that. Your hair is absolutely gorgeous. That color, that shine. Yeah, maybe he's been hit in the head too many times or something.

I second that! What a stupid remark!

lapushka
June 13th, 2016, 12:30 PM
My sister asked me "where did you park your broom".

What?! :?: That is absolutely terrible! :(

Kherome
June 13th, 2016, 01:17 PM
When I was little I was often teased for the color of my hair, since I'm a natural redhead. For some reason at the time having red hair wasn't a good thing. It made me stand out from everyone else, which made me the target of very cruel elementary school kids.

Me too. When I was born, my grandma (a redhead) said "Oh look, she has red hair!" and my mother burst in to tears and started screaming "No, no! It's blond not red! NOT RED!" Then all through my childhood I heard "You can't wear that color you have red hair."

Agnes Hannah
June 13th, 2016, 01:48 PM
An acquaintance told me that my hair was too thin to be long and that I should glam up!

Mademoiselle
June 13th, 2016, 01:50 PM
When I was little I was often teased for the color of my hair, since I'm a natural redhead. For some reason at the time having red hair wasn't a good thing. It made me stand out from everyone else, which made me the target of very cruel elementary school kids.

Me too. When I was born, my grandma (a redhead) said "Oh look, she has red hair!" and my mother burst in to tears and started screaming "No, no! It's blond not red! NOT RED!" Then all through my childhood I heard "You can't wear that color you have red hair."

It is amazing how people can distort reality, of something that is really beautiful...
Be proud :blossom: your hair is amazing

Adorkable One
June 13th, 2016, 01:54 PM
This isn't exactly an insult, but I do get a lot of comments from about what they think I should do with my hair. "You should straighten it." You should do this color." Blah blah blah. I don't know what kind of response they want, so I usually just go, "yea?...." with a strained facial expression. I hate these kinds of comments.

Decoy24601
June 13th, 2016, 02:08 PM
When I was little I was often teased for the color of my hair, since I'm a natural redhead. For some reason at the time having red hair wasn't a good thing. It made me stand out from everyone else, which made me the target of very cruel elementary school kids.

Me too. When I was born, my grandma (a redhead) said "Oh look, she has red hair!" and my mother burst in to tears and started screaming "No, no! It's blond not red! NOT RED!" Then all through my childhood I heard "You can't wear that color you have red hair."

That's terrible. I don't know how people can be so reactive over a hair color. Although, to be fair, certain colors do look absolutely terrible on me, but that's partially because of my complexion.

My mother was very supportive, luckily. I was born with red hair and she was very happy about it. In our small town people would comment on my hair a lot as a kid. I was very shy and would get angry and upset when strangers did this, so my mother started dying her hair red to take the attention off me.

When I was in high school, people would say to me "You know what they say about redheads right? They're really firey in bed*!" *They didn't word it like that, but you get what I mean. I wasn't outright teased about it in high school though, since by then red hair was seen as "hot".

Nowadays, I love my hair and don't really bother myself with other people's opinions about it. It has some issues, a big hairfall, lots of damaged hair growth from stress and not taking care of it, being so thick and stiff that it's often hard to do anything with it, etc, but I still like it. I wish I could go back in time and give 6-12 year old me some of that confidence and reassurance (I didn't handle bullying well at all).

languagenut
June 13th, 2016, 02:21 PM
In middle school I was picked on actually not for having "ugly" hair, but because the other girls wanted hair like mine. I don't blame them for feeling pressured to have the hair that's "in", since Brazil used to be quite strict about what was good and bad appearance-wise(glad that's changing now), but they would dip my ends in acrylic paint, cut my hair and even try to burn it off, and that's plain ********.

What the... Seriously?? Didn't anyone teach them to keep their hands to themselves? What jerks!

Lizzie.torp
June 13th, 2016, 02:59 PM
Back in high school, people often made negative remarks about my hair. They would tell me the texture was weird and ugly, and once a this random girl I didn't even know told me "Omg stop wearing your hair down." (

I can't believe anyone would insult your hair unless it was out of jealousy. I looked at your hair pictures and you have the most beautiful texture. People heat damage their hair to look like yours.

Iamsiam
June 13th, 2016, 03:10 PM
While at school, i used to get teased a lot for my hair! Of course, I didn't really know how to care for it properly then. I used to think it had to be washed daily. I have a tonne of hair, so I looked a bit like a wizard.
It's only been the last few years I've come to really appreciate my hair and its thickness. It also helps that I work with a tonne of lovely Sikh ladies who have the most beautiful untouched hair.

Stepo_NiNha
June 13th, 2016, 03:11 PM
Because he's blind? I mean, I just don't get that. Your hair is absolutely gorgeous. That color, that shine. Yeah, maybe he's been hit in the head too many times or something.

Thanks, :) some people really need to spit out all the frustration they have!

Stepo_NiNha
June 13th, 2016, 03:25 PM
When I was little I was often teased for the color of my hair, since I'm a natural redhead. For some reason at the time having red hair wasn't a good thing. It made me stand out from everyone else, which made me the target of very cruel elementary school kids.

Me too. When I was born, my grandma (a redhead) said "Oh look, she has red hair!" and my mother burst in to tears and started screaming "No, no! It's blond not red! NOT RED!" Then all through my childhood I heard "You can't wear that color you have red hair."


I really don't understand why people behave that way just because of a hair colour! Your hair is awesome and I really love redhead... The fear for a hair colour is something thats beyond me. And believe this: many people are certainly now dying for having hair like yours!

Moonfall
June 13th, 2016, 04:01 PM
I can't believe anyone would insult your hair unless it was out of jealousy. I looked at your hair pictures and you have the most beautiful texture. People heat damage their hair to look like yours.

I find that hard to believe, but thank you! :blossom: But even if they did think it was ugly, I still don't feel like that's an excuse to actually say it or be mean about it in other ways. It seems that many people in this thread were teased because of their hair when they were younger. I study psychology and I can usually understand why people do the things they do, even if I wouldn't do it myself. But why people choose to hurt others remains a mystery to me. Like the things they did to Lulikrueger... It hurt me to even read that post! :no:

RebekahE
June 13th, 2016, 04:17 PM
I am lucky to not have not have had any mean comments. Many people have asked why I don't cut it and donate it or ask if I am going to. That questions gets old. If you're so concerned about it grow your own hair out, hack it off and donate it.

To all you gorgeous red hair gals! I LOVE red hair! Out of all the hair colors if I could pick one it would be red. My mo always teases me that I had better have a lot of redhead girls because I have a ton of redheaded porcelain dolls (I love to collect porcelain dolls, it's just something I love and I'm a tom boy).

ETA: I counted my redheaded dolls and I have 9. That's over half of my dolls.

JadedByEntropy
June 13th, 2016, 04:38 PM
My (former) best friend once told me my hair was too long :rolleyes:

:'(
this just happened to me over the weekend. She started with "You know I'm the last person to tell someone to cut their hair.." followed through with how i should do chamomile highlights [I've told her i'm deathly allergic many times] suggested i cut back all the damage saying shoulder wouldn't be a bad idea (from ftl) and really would love to see straightened henna layers.

I am not a doll !!!
My coarse wiry hair doesn't respond well to anything 'modern' or 'high end' and in no way am i changing my appearance that drastically to something i would hate.

I'm very plain on purpose and its always "a lady should put effort into her appearance"
every time i do dress nice-its not enough
if i manage to cross the imaginary threshold she covers me up with sweaters and blankets and doesn't want to go out anymore.

lapis_lazuli
June 13th, 2016, 05:09 PM
I've been called a hippie before too. I don't care! :D I'll take that as a compliment! ;)

faery_braids
June 13th, 2016, 05:31 PM
In elementary school I was called Hermione a fair bit. :neutral: It started when the first book got big and someone came in one day, gasped, and went "You have Hermione's hair!" Later everyone just used the name. Funnily enough I don't mind it so much anymore, though my partner does laugh whenever we watch a HP movie because apparently I'm literally Hermione. I haven't read the entire series in years (I need to get on that!), but I think that's why it bugged me so much at the time--I hated Hermione's character by the last few books, and people weren't always talking about just my hair when they said it. (I also hadn't finished the first book when I was first called it--I didn't like it enough to finish it until the new editions came out and I had the movie urging me forward. Little me was so confused because I didn't know quite what everyone was talking about. Once I had read it, well...talk about a whole host of other issues.)

Other than that I usually got "Brush your hair!" and such because it's wurly. Unfortunately, that just led to the nickname Fluffy No. 2 from one of my uncles because of how poofy my hair would go. :doh: He said it endearingly, but not many others did. (Fluffy No. 1's one of my older cousins.) It was like people didn't like it any way I did it. Except this one girl in grade eight math. She loved playing with my hair during breaks in class and looking for all the different colours in it. Luckily classmates stopped with most of the teasing by the end of grade eight, I think because most found I wouldn't give them the reaction they wanted. :shrug: Didn't stop relatives and such from saying things, though...

Kherome
June 13th, 2016, 05:46 PM
[QUOTE=Kherome;3246996][QUOTE=Decoy24601;3246642]When I was little I was often teased for the color of my hair, since I'm a natural redhead. For some reason at the time having red hair wasn't a good thing. It made me stand out from everyone else, which made me the target of very cruel elementary school kids.


I really don't understand why people behave that way just because of a hair colour! Your hair is awesome and I really love redhead... The fear for a hair colour is something thats beyond me. And believe this: many people are certainly now dying for having hair like yours!

My Ma had lots of hang ups. She hated red hair, and she herself was "tall" for a women (5'10) and she hated being tall. When I shot up to 6'1" in 8th grade she lamented that too saying how hard it would be to find a boyfriend for me since I was taller than the boys. (Since the average US guy is 5'9" I'll always be taller than most of the "boys" haha) So I was a red head, too much of a tomboy, already knew (and shared with anyone who suggested I would) I'd never have kids, taller than the boys, competed in kick boxing and tae kwon do, worked in a "manly" career, and never, ever hesitated to speak my mind she was convinced I was ruining my redheaded life forever and would never get married and be happy. What man would want such a woman, eh? Haha

Turns out I never had a lick of trouble attracting a man and got married young, have 0 kids, and am perfectly content...red hair and all.

Stepo_NiNha
June 13th, 2016, 06:32 PM
My Ma had lots of hang ups. She hated red hair, and she herself was "tall" for a women (5'10) and she hated being tall. When I shot up to 6'1" in 8th grade she lamented that too saying how hard it would be to find a boyfriend for me since I was taller than the boys. (Since the average US guy is 5'9" I'll always be taller than most of the "boys" haha) So I was a red head, too much of a tomboy, already knew (and shared with anyone who suggested I would) I'd never have kids, taller than the boys, competed in kick boxing and tae kwon do, worked in a "manly" career, and never, ever hesitated to speak my mind she was convinced I was ruining my redheaded life forever and would never get married and be happy. What man would want such a woman, eh? Haha

Turns out I never had a lick of trouble attracting a man and got married young, have 0 kids, and am perfectly content...red hair and all.

My mom once told me she would love to be a redhead. Its rare here to find red heads. They give some colour to the world, right? :)

Decoy24601
June 13th, 2016, 06:45 PM
My Ma had lots of hang ups. She hated red hair, and she herself was "tall" for a women (5'10) and she hated being tall. When I shot up to 6'1" in 8th grade she lamented that too saying how hard it would be to find a boyfriend for me since I was taller than the boys. (Since the average US guy is 5'9" I'll always be taller than most of the "boys" haha) So I was a red head, too much of a tomboy, already knew (and shared with anyone who suggested I would) I'd never have kids, taller than the boys, competed in kick boxing and tae kwon do, worked in a "manly" career, and never, ever hesitated to speak my mind she was convinced I was ruining my redheaded life forever and would never get married and be happy. What man would want such a woman, eh? Haha

Turns out I never had a lick of trouble attracting a man and got married young, have 0 kids, and am perfectly content...red hair and all.

Wow, your mother sounds like a nicer version of my step mother.

I'm only 5'6" (a little taller, but not quite to the next whole inch), but I grew very fast and by the time I ended 8th grade I had pretty much grown to how tall I am now. I had to stand in the back riser in choir. I only grew another inch or so by the time I turned 17~. I was a tomboy as a kid despite having and loving long hair. I grew up in Alaska, so may be gender roles/stereotypes aren't quite as common there. My mother never had an issue with my playing with "boys" toys or barbies. I could dress up pretty or get messy in mud. I never really thought about gender or what I was supposed to do as a girl when I was little. Ironically, red hair seemed to be the deal breaker when it came to other kids and being bullied, haha.

My step mother would always say how I would have such trouble finding a man and how much that guy would have to put up with etc (although she was much much more rude and abrasive about it). So far I haven't had any trouble with that seeing as how I married young too (last fall actually),no kids. My husband never really thought about hair length or red hair before we got together. I never found it especially appealing. Now he said he absolutely loves red hair and says I should keep it long. I haven't received a negative comment about my hair from anyone for a long time now, not even stylists. My hair is actually very damaged in places, but I swear all stylists see is the color. They'll tell me how healthy my hair looks, when I have feathered splits everywhere and dry dull hair.

It's funny how things like that are. It's why I don't conform to styles when it comes to my haircut. In 5-10 years long hair might be in again, who knows. Red hair was not a good thing 6-10 years ago, but it's "hot" now. *shrugs* Trends are fickle.

trolleypup
June 13th, 2016, 07:09 PM
Sure. One of the last times was when I was still driving, I was the motorman on Car 1 (http://www.streetcar.org/streetcars/1-1-muni-1912/), in uniform, with my hair down, because it was a pleasant day on the open end platform of that car. A passenger came up and said some stuff that boiled down to unattractive and unprofessional...I just said "Well, professional just means 'paid to work', and Muni is handing me 47 cents a minute to be here...and (as the car came to a stop and I opened the front gate) if you don't like it you are welcome to get out here!" Still don't quite understand people who insult the operator of a nearly 100 year old piece of equipment maneuvering down the streets of San Francisco...

I don't keep that sort of stuff in my mind. But i remember one time a bunch of kids where talking loudly as i was passing by that i would probably use that thing in my hair (two prong fork) to eat my food too. You know... dirty a$$ foreign looking little me with no hygiene standards, even if dressed to the nines. Usually climbing trees naked, picking coconuts with her feet using chopstick. Accessories must be practical... Uhm yeah bye!!
All of them had uncombed looking fried by box dye hair. I was laughing.
I'll admit to having pulled out my backup hairstick (a matching stainless chopstick to the one I use most of the time) when I had leftovers and no utensils.

lulikrueger
June 13th, 2016, 07:22 PM
What the... Seriously?? Didn't anyone teach them to keep their hands to themselves? What jerks!

Yup, 'til this day I'm shocked they allowed that(and worse things) to happen. Those people never even got a lecture.

endlessly
June 13th, 2016, 08:39 PM
All. The. Time. Because my last couple of jobs have been at big department stores, very long hair wasn't exactly "trendy", so there was a lot of hate and pressure to cut my hair shorter. I definitely feel there's a very strong stigma attached to long hair and people seem to have it in their head that long hair is dirty and we all have bugs...which is definitely NOT true.

Now where I work, people don't seem to care and I get more compliments than anything, so that's a huge improvement.

spirals
June 13th, 2016, 11:49 PM
All. The. Time.
Because you live in the upper midwest: home of post-middle-aged, pinched-faced busybodies with men's haircuts. Did I say that? But I'm not bitter. :uhh: :couch:

Moonfall
June 14th, 2016, 01:45 AM
:'(
this just happened to me over the weekend. She started with "You know I'm the last person to tell someone to cut their hair.." followed through with how i should do chamomile highlights [I've told her i'm deathly allergic many times] suggested i cut back all the damage saying shoulder wouldn't be a bad idea (from ftl) and really would love to see straightened henna layers.

I am not a doll !!!
My coarse wiry hair doesn't respond well to anything 'modern' or 'high end' and in no way am i changing my appearance that drastically to something i would hate.

I'm very plain on purpose and its always "a lady should put effort into her appearance"
every time i do dress nice-its not enough
if i manage to cross the imaginary threshold she covers me up with sweaters and blankets and doesn't want to go out anymore.

I think you can be very proud of the way you are! I think your friend's comment was very mean and honestly it sounds like she's jealous, at least to me it does. It sounds like we are a bit alike; I'm plain on purpose too, and although nasty remarks can make me feel bad, I will never change myself for those people. Please stay the way you are! :blossom:

01
June 14th, 2016, 06:37 AM
*hugs*Moonfall and Spirals! When I was at classic everyone said its pointless to grow out such hair. Well, they kind of had a point, I had staticky frizzy formless hair. Not even a 'mop', Spirals, no straight, no wavy, no curly, no anything. And splits everywhere. Also, some guy cut out small hair fragment while I was on the bus! So I kind of prefer to wear my hair up now o_O. And year or so ago some mean bitch thrown an ice cream at my bun! It's crazy. That said, I get oohs and aahs too, so it kind of evens out.

Moonfall
June 14th, 2016, 08:28 AM
*hugs*Moonfall and Spirals! When I was at classic everyone said its pointless to grow out such hair. Well, they kind of had a point, I had staticky frizzy formless hair. Not even a 'mop', Spirals, no straight, no wavy, no curly, no anything. And splits everywhere. Also, some guy cut out small hair fragment while I was on the bus! So I kind of prefer to wear my hair up now o_O. And year or so ago some mean bitch thrown an ice cream at my bun! It's crazy. That said, I get oohs and aahs too, so it kind of evens out.

01, that's horrible! It really gets me angry when people think they can just touch someone's hair or even cut it. I don't know what I'd do if someone randomly cut some of my hair. I think I could literally kill them. :steam

ExpectoPatronum
June 14th, 2016, 09:53 AM
People can be so mean about hair sometimes...

I've never gotten bad comments about length, but I've gotten backhand comments about my curls from people I know. On the very very very rare occasion I'd straighten it (I haven't done it in over a year now, actually!), at least one of my family members would comment about how much better my hair looks when it's nice and sleek. My mom has said that I should straighten it more, too. That was more when I first started wearing my hair curly and didn't quite have a good routine down. I imagine my hair looked like a damn mess for a while ;)

No one says anything about my hair now. In fact, now that I know what works for me, they tell me they wish their hair looked like mine :rolleyes:

Ruthie-ENGLAND
June 14th, 2016, 10:52 AM
Strangely enough it was my own rather 'odd' and slightly sadistic late Grandmother. She hated my lovely hair for being natural blonde instead of dark, which she much preferred.
It was very long at the time when I was a little girl, and she took me to her hairdresser without telling my Mum. She got them to hack it all off REALLY short and I looked more like a boy. Mum went crazy when she got home from work and saw me like it. Mum and Nan didn't get on, but we all lived together which made life difficult.

It hasn't been too bad for me ever since as my long hair was always really good condition and well looked after so nothing to ridicule.
Only twice did I have a problem as an adult. One woman at work had a go at me, but it was simply because she was insanely jealous. She had really short frizzy hair, and told me I should cut my hair. I just laughed in her face. Another ex 'friend' thew a drink over me, because I was getting lots of attention from a couple of guys over my long hair. Our friendship obviously ended that night!

I realise that when any of us are a bit 'different' for any reason like our hair, we are bound to get some flack. We just have to remember we will all get far more positive comments, and have to ignore the jealousy.

Cg
June 14th, 2016, 11:07 AM
Because you live in the upper midwest: home of post-middle-aged, pinched-faced busybodies with men's haircuts. Did I say that? But I'm not bitter. :uhh: :couch:

Really? I lived for many years in the upper middle west and never encountered anything of the sort.

reilly0167
June 14th, 2016, 11:26 AM
01, that's horrible! It really gets me angry when people think they can just touch someone's hair or even cut it. I don't know what I'd do if someone randomly cut some of my hair. I think I could literally kill them. :steam
What the fudge!!!!! I probably kill them too, assault charges anyone? Despicable.

lapushka
June 14th, 2016, 12:00 PM
*hugs*Moonfall and Spirals! When I was at classic everyone said its pointless to grow out such hair. Well, they kind of had a point, I had staticky frizzy formless hair. Not even a 'mop', Spirals, no straight, no wavy, no curly, no anything. And splits everywhere. Also, some guy cut out small hair fragment while I was on the bus! So I kind of prefer to wear my hair up now o_O. And year or so ago some mean bitch thrown an ice cream at my bun! It's crazy. That said, I get oohs and aahs too, so it kind of evens out.

Brrr. The horror. What a creep!

chen bao jun
June 14th, 2016, 12:38 PM
'Your hair is too thick' (and variations on that theme, its wild, it's big, etc. etc.) 'You have too much hair.'

I get this from hairdressers (who want money to thin it or straighten it) and I used to get it a lot from jealous people. I didn't realize it at first but then I noticed how much the same people would tell me they had troubles with their hair thinning or falling out or how it 'wouldn't grow' etc. I used to let it it hurt my feelings when I was young, but now that I'm age 59, I realize more and more what a blessing it is to be a aging woman who still has a ton of hair, that it's out of control sometimes doesn't really matter.

Moonfall
June 14th, 2016, 01:35 PM
People can be so mean about hair sometimes...

I've never gotten bad comments about length, but I've gotten backhand comments about my curls from people I know. On the very very very rare occasion I'd straighten it (I haven't done it in over a year now, actually!), at least one of my family members would comment about how much better my hair looks when it's nice and sleek. My mom has said that I should straighten it more, too. That was more when I first started wearing my hair curly and didn't quite have a good routine down. I imagine my hair looked like a damn mess for a while ;)

No one says anything about my hair now. In fact, now that I know what works for me, they tell me they wish their hair looked like mine :rolleyes:

I definitely recognize the part about straightening your hair. My hair is very wavy and, well, mostly very wild. It has a mind of its own! In my teens, I started to use a straightener every now and then. I got many compliments at that time. Even the people who would make fun of my hair before told me it looked 'so much better when straight'. No one except my partner has said anything nice about my hair ever since I stopped straightening it (although some people here on TLHC have! :)) .

Kherome
June 14th, 2016, 01:52 PM
I prefer curly or wavy over straight any day so I have NO idea where the hate comes from. I also don't get the whole "long hair is dirty" thing some people have in their heads...what the h difference does length make for cleanliness? I mean geez, shampoo can reach allllllll the way to the floor if need be.

Seeshami
June 14th, 2016, 02:02 PM
I am apparently intimidating so people generally don't insult me to my face. As Empress Snark Beast I am sure my resting bisnitch face is a look that can kill and hell hath no furry as my full on go play in traffic death glare.

Stepo_NiNha
June 14th, 2016, 03:14 PM
I prefer curly or wavy over straight any day so I have NO idea where the hate comes from. I also don't get the whole "long hair is dirty" thing some people have in their heads...what the h difference does length make for cleanliness? I mean geez, shampoo can reach allllllll the way to the floor if need be.

In some cultures long hair is a sign of strength and health.
There's actually a weird conception of long hair meaning filthy in western cultures.

I think its the same as thinking that shaving your body hairs is a cleaner habit. Its not. And your skin gets exposed to irritation and illnesses. However, its horrible when I see body hairs such as legs hairs coming out... In this case I really follow the society rules and keep shaving them. Argh, no option. Regarding to hair... Even if everyone tells me that growing long hair is dirty, I'll keep growing it and I dont care.

spirals
June 14th, 2016, 03:36 PM
I definitely feel there's a very strong stigma attached to long hair and people seem to have it in their head that long hair is dirty and we all have bugs...which is definitely NOT true.

I will never understand why people think long hair is automatically dirty. What do they think, that we are dragging the lengths through the mud??

Cg, come to northeast Wisconsin and you'll see.

01, all I can say is

:agape:

Garnetgem
June 14th, 2016, 04:14 PM
Oh of course they have many a time over the years...i have been called hippy and many have told me to cut it off but the more they tell me to cut the longer i want to grow it..so really it has the opposite effect they are after...i have had people chant things about hair loss and threatened to get me in a crowd with a scissors so i do avoid crowds as i don't feel safe..when there is long hair their is going to be someone who has something not nice to say about it..when my hair was short i was simply left alone..

Decoy24601
June 14th, 2016, 05:03 PM
'Your hair is too thick' (and variations on that theme, its wild, it's big, etc. etc.) 'You have too much hair.'

I get this from hairdressers (who want money to thin it or straighten it) and I used to get it a lot from jealous people. I didn't realize it at first but then I noticed how much the same people would tell me they had troubles with their hair thinning or falling out or how it 'wouldn't grow' etc. I used to let it it hurt my feelings when I was young, but now that I'm age 59, I realize more and more what a blessing it is to be a aging woman who still has a ton of hair, that it's out of control sometimes doesn't really matter.

Oh, that reminds me. Up until I was a teen I had much thicker hair (most likely stress related). Whenever I went to get my hair trimmed the stylists would always ask me to thin out my hair. Sometimes they were very pushy about it and would ask multiple times. A few years ago I started giving in and letting them layer and thin my hair... now I'm still trying to grow out those layers that do not look good at all in my long hair.

chen bao jun
June 14th, 2016, 06:40 PM
Oh, that reminds me. Up until I was a teen I had much thicker hair (most likely stress related). Whenever I went to get my hair trimmed the stylists would always ask me to thin out my hair. Sometimes they were very pushy about it and would ask multiple times. A few years ago I started giving in and letting them layer and thin my hair... now I'm still trying to grow out those layers that do not look good at all in my long hair.

Yes, Decoy, it's when the thinning starts growing out that it's a problem. I think sometimes they suggest because its something you really have to keep up (that is, keep going to them and paying). Layers are another constant suggest. But while layers done well look nice down, it's hard to put your hair up (my preferred thing to do with thick hair which is always in the way).

Kherome, I love both naturally straight and naturally curly hair. I tend to like neither artifically straight, nor artificially curly. I do find that when people (not on LHC but in life) think of curly hair though, they tend to think of artificially curled. People love those curling iron curls that are so neat and tiday. Naturally curly hair with its erratic qualities, its tendency to frizz and sometimes even to explode all over the person's head, it's tendency to shrink--people don't like that so much. Naturally curly hair is just NOT TIDY. People like tidy and controlled and hence the constant 'oh your hair looks so much better straight' remarks.

Decoy24601
June 14th, 2016, 06:58 PM
Yes, Decoy, it's when the thinning starts growing out that it's a problem. I think sometimes they suggest because its something you really have to keep up (that is, keep going to them and paying). Layers are another constant suggest. But while layers done well look nice down, it's hard to put your hair up (my preferred thing to do with thick hair which is always in the way).


Yeah, my layers looked great when my hair was short (BSL is short for me), but I hated not being able to put my hair up or in braids. It also made it to where when I got trims, only a fraction of split ends got cut off. Now, my hair looks more damaged than it should because of splits left alone for far too long. I'm waiting on my nice scissors to come in the mail so I can do a S&D. Even now that my lost thickness from major hair fall is growing back (yay!), I still think I don't need and never really needed thinning.

I've grown very impatient with dealing with stylists. It's not that they push me to chop my hair off, it's because they're always opinionated on how I should style my hair. It's amusing. I'll have stylists say "oh, you're so lucky, I wish I could grow my hair that long!" and I think "you can, just give up all the heat styling and constant dying and nourish your hair". I decided that now that my hair is long again I'm just going to do microtrims myself.

languagenut
June 14th, 2016, 08:49 PM
I've been called a hippie before too. I don't care! :D I'll take that as a compliment! ;)

Haha, my grandparents visited us recently, and Grandpa said I look like a hippie, with my long flowing hair and my long skirt and my sandals. So now there's an ongoing joke about me being a hippie. But my friends say, "well, you do kinda look like a hippie". But I don't care, I looove tie-dye shirts and my dream car is a Volkswagen bus with flowers on it.

But I must say (in response to other posts), that neither trying to cut or burn other people's hair, nor throwing ice cream, is appropriate behavior for a civilized human being! O_o

Decoy24601
June 14th, 2016, 09:01 PM
Haha, my grandparents visited us recently, and Grandpa said I look like a hippie, with my long flowing hair and my long skirt and my sandals. So now there's an ongoing joke about me being a hippie. But my friends say, "well, you do kinda look like a hippie". But I don't care, I looove tie-dye shirts and my dream car is a Volkswagen bus with flowers on it.

But I must say (in response to other posts), that neither trying to cut or burn other people's hair, nor throwing ice cream, is appropriate behavior for a civilized human being! O_o

I actually did have an experience like you mentioned, I just remembered. When I was a kid there was this really catty* (that's not the word I want to use) girl in the neighborhood that I was trying to be friends with. She said she wanted to do my hair, so I said yes. She started running her fingers through my hair and then I felt something kind of odd; it didn't feel like she was styling my hair right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. When she was done I discovered that she had put gum in my long red hair... which had to be cut out. I remember being so angry and devastated. She had purposely tried to get the gum matted in as much of my hair as possible. She didn't just place the gum in my hair, she worked it in with her fingers. This is exactly why when I was a kid, I hated most other kids.

Moonfall
June 15th, 2016, 03:21 AM
I actually did have an experience like you mentioned, I just remembered. When I was a kid there was this really catty* (that's not the word I want to use) girl in the neighborhood that I was trying to be friends with. She said she wanted to do my hair, so I said yes. She started running her fingers through my hair and then I felt something kind of odd; it didn't feel like she was styling my hair right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. When she was done I discovered that she had put gum in my long red hair... which had to be cut out. I remember being so angry and devastated. She had purposely tried to get the gum matted in as much of my hair as possible. She didn't just place the gum in my hair, she worked it in with her fingers. This is exactly why when I was a kid, I hated most other kids.

:agape: I hope you kicked/slapped her big time!!

Decoy24601
June 15th, 2016, 03:35 AM
:agape: I hope you kicked/slapped her big time!!

I didn't, but I wanted to! I think I might have been 8~ at the time. I swear it was almost something out of a movie. My (former) best friend was also sitting next to her the whole time giggling, didn't say a word. Yeah, I guess I don't even need to say that this became a very toxic friendship over the next few years. My parents also didn't do anything about it, although they sympathized. Had my mother been there she would have been at that girl's door in a heartbeat having a talk with her parents. I really hate the attitude "kids will be kids" or other similar sayings. I don't like people using blanket excuses for bad behavior out of laziness and apathy.

I was never physically bullied as a kid, but I have enough of experiences like these for me to hold the opinion now that kids are just as capable of being cruel and far from innocent as adults.

I'm glad I'm an adult now and live in a place where publicly spoken rude comments are rare. I don't care if people think rude things about me or my hair as long as they don't say it.

Iamsiam
June 15th, 2016, 04:33 AM
Well now I've bought some hair weapons, people had better not insult my hair! Lol

Moonfall
June 15th, 2016, 07:32 AM
I didn't, but I wanted to! I think I might have been 8~ at the time. I swear it was almost something out of a movie. My (former) best friend was also sitting next to her the whole time giggling, didn't say a word. Yeah, I guess I don't even need to say that this became a very toxic friendship over the next few years. My parents also didn't do anything about it, although they sympathized. Had my mother been there she would have been at that girl's door in a heartbeat having a talk with her parents. I really hate the attitude "kids will be kids" or other similar sayings. I don't like people using blanket excuses for bad behavior out of laziness and apathy.

I was never physically bullied as a kid, but I have enough of experiences like these for me to hold the opinion now that kids are just as capable of being cruel and far from innocent as adults.

I'm glad I'm an adult now and live in a place where publicly spoken rude comments are rare. I don't care if people think rude things about me or my hair as long as they don't say it.

I'm so sorry to hear you've experienced things like this multiple times. I definitely agree with you when you say you can't stand people making those kind of excuses for children's actions. Kids will be kids, yes, but not monsters. When I get children someday, I will definitely teach them to respect others and not do things like that!


Well now I've bought some hair weapons, people had better not insult my hair! Lol

I know what you mean! I have been wearing a lot of hair sticks since a few months now, and I've accidentally hurt people around me a couple of times now haha

truepeacenik
June 15th, 2016, 11:48 AM
Haha, my grandparents visited us recently, and Grandpa said I look like a hippie, with my long flowing hair and my long skirt and my sandals. So now there's an ongoing joke about me being a hippie. But my friends say, "well, you do kinda look like a hippie". But I don't care, I looove tie-dye shirts and my dream car is a Volkswagen bus with flowers on it.

But I must say (in response to other posts), that neither trying to cut or burn other people's hair, nor throwing ice cream, is appropriate behavior for a civilized human being! O_o

Languagenut, I'm afraid you are a hippie in style, at least.
Do you hug trees or bunnies, literally or figuratively?
Might there be a hand drum (including tambourines) in your home?


We are everywhere.

lillielil
June 15th, 2016, 11:49 AM
Just the "you look like a fundamentalist nutjob" comment from my short-haired spouse. Since then she's nicely helped trim and dye, so if she continues to have that opinion she is keeping it to herself.

languagenut
June 15th, 2016, 08:21 PM
Languagenut, I'm afraid you are a hippie in style, at least.
Do you hug trees or bunnies, literally or figuratively?
Might there be a hand drum (including tambourines) in your home?


We are everywhere.

Well out here on the Plains, we like to preserve such trees as we can get! They're mostly little pine trees though; kinda prickly for hugging. Bunnies, on the other hand, are overpopulating the place, and I can't stop the cats from hunting them anyhow. There is a tambourine in our "Band in a Box" set of assorted percussion instruments for kids, but it doesn't get much use; my instrument of choice is the piano.

And as for the long skirt aspect, I happened to be wearing a skirt that day, but usually I wear jeans or shorts, depending on the weather.

But the general consensus seems to be that I just need some flowers in my hair, to complete the look... I've attached silk flowers to bobby pins before, but how to get real flowers to stay put, I'm not entirely sure. :hmm:

spirals
June 15th, 2016, 08:28 PM
I'm sort of a hippie at heart, but I dress like a flapper sometimes. Well, I guess flappers were the hippies of their day.

tigress86
June 16th, 2016, 02:23 AM
When I was a teenager I was hanging out with my friends one summer. I had just washed my hair which was quite unruly and coarse because I didn't know how to care for it properly back then. Everyone else in my family had straight, soft and manageable hair.
Anyway my hair was starting to form waves as it dried and it was a bit frizzier than usual because of the weather. One of my guy friends pointed out my hair and said something like, what is with your hair, it doesn't even look like hair, it is like steel wire.
That hurt me so bad and around that time I started flat ironing my hair, which caused damage and made my hair even frizzier and more unmanageable. All those years I thought I just had "bad hair".

Iamsiam
June 16th, 2016, 04:30 AM
Back in the old days I used to use mums clothes iron to straighten my hair. It murdered my hair, but it was straight! My nick name is school was sea hag because it was said my hair looked like seaweed. Kids can be so cruel, I have no fond memories of school. I've grown to love my hair though, and now that I know how to take better care of it it's fairly healthy.

mikibits
June 16th, 2016, 05:22 AM
It's kind of surreal what some people will say about hair . . . I ended up writing a blog post just about this (https://mikibits.com/2015/08/12/rolling-evangelists-of-hair/). I realize I'm a bit of a sight for some, walking around the city (I haven't a car) with hair to my calves. Usually it gets compliments or very obvious comments like, "wow, you're hair is long!". Uhm, thanks for letting me know. But sometimes I get some serious boundary oversteppers, typically demanding I donate my hair to cancer patients. I'm all for that, if and when the time comes to cut it; but that seems really uncool ... like if I told them they had to go donate their livers, kidneys and corneas to patients who need them. And being a redhead . . . I think I'll say just that to the next one who thinks parts of my body aren't mine to manage. ;)

Iamsiam
June 16th, 2016, 06:27 AM
Yes, I hate that comment "you should cut it and donate it". It's almost like saying that you don't have a right to have long hair. Not that I don't sympathise with cancer patients, I do... But just because I have long hair doesn't mean I am obliged to donate it. Just like if I have money I shouldn't be obliged to donate. If I do donate, that's my choice and one that no one has a right to demand from me.

mikibits
June 16th, 2016, 07:28 AM
Yes, I hate that comment "you should cut it and donate it". It's almost like saying that you don't have a right to have long hair. Not that I don't sympathise with cancer patients, I do... But just because I have long hair doesn't mean I am obliged to donate it. Just like if I have money I shouldn't be obliged to donate. If I do donate, that's my choice and one that no one has a right to demand from me.

I agree. Perhaps they think hair is of lesser value than the rest of our body . . . but who are they to make that judgment? They don't tell us to give away the clothes we're wearing. I think this is the same mindset of strangers who want to touch our hair. That's another boundary-crosser for me. Touching any part of me is ... well, intimate.

Iamsiam
June 16th, 2016, 07:36 AM
I agree with the touching thing. That's why I don't go to hairdressers. Speaking of which, what is it with hairdressers openly insulting clients hair? I've had them complain about "how much" hair I have because they "don't know where to put it" and I "really should have it thinned out"....

Silverbleed
June 16th, 2016, 07:40 AM
Back in the old days I used to use mums clothes iron to straighten my hair. It murdered my hair, but it was straight! My nick name is school was sea hag because it was said my hair looked like seaweed. Kids can be so cruel, I have no fond memories of school. I've grown to love my hair though, and now that I know how to take better care of it it's fairly healthy.

It's typical how I experience it the other way around. While I know kids can be absolutely brutal, I find the comments from adults much worse. Probably because I expect them to be more understanding and more careful choosing their words. Adults can be much more sneaky and backstabbing. It's funny how I had much more negative comments from adults, while I had many compliments from kids.

Silverbleed
June 16th, 2016, 07:43 AM
I agree with the touching thing. That's why I don't go to hairdressers. Speaking of which, what is it with hairdressers openly insulting clients hair? I've had them complain about "how much" hair I have because they "don't know where to put it" and I "really should have it thinned out"....

Omg this. "You have so much hair! It's too much to work with" and "But it's SO thin, I never seen that before!" or even weirder "Is this your real hair?". You're a hairdresser, touching and looking at my hair upclose, what is this? xD

Every hairdresser ever :rolleyes: Tell me something I don't know.

I also decided to not go anymore. I'm looking for a personal hairdresser I feel comfortable with.

calmyogi
June 16th, 2016, 09:06 AM
I can't believe all the negative comments about red hair. I always admired it growing up. I never knew it was a "bad" thing until my husband made the comment to me that some people aren't attracted to redheads because of their hair.

I was told my hair was poofy and I looked like a poodle. It didn't help that my mom had stick straight fine baby hair. She was no help, and I didn't have access to the right products of help on how to style, or protect it. Kids are just mean.

Stepo_NiNha
June 16th, 2016, 09:15 AM
I can't believe all the negative comments about red hair. I always admired it growing up. I never knew it was a "bad" thing until my husband made the comment to me that some people aren't attracted to redheads because of their hair.

I was told my hair was poofy and I looked like a poodle. It didn't help that my mom had stick straight fine baby hair. She was no help, and I didn't have access to the right products of help on how to style, or protect it. Kids are just mean.

I don't understand why red hair is a "bad" thing either, I think the colour is amazing

school of fish
June 16th, 2016, 09:36 AM
I don't want to stir up a hornets' nest of debate but I do believe the whole ginger-hate thing is a hangover from the longstanding animosities in the British Isles between England (where there tends to be more blond/brown hair) and Scotland/Ireland (where the red hair tends to be). The hair colour thing is really more about the undercurrent of political and religious divide than colour itself - the red hair is just a more 'visible' sign of where you might have come from, and has left this ugly legacy of hateful behaviour toward redheads.

In the new world, during the Salem witch-hunt era, red hair was one of the 'identifiers' that someone might be a witch. Again, it was not so much about the hair colour per se, it was more about *anything* out of the ordinary being made a target in an age of fear and persecution.

The red hair colour has just become a scapegoat for 'you're different and not one of us so we don't like you'. One of the more shameful aspects of human behaviour.

Iamsiam
June 16th, 2016, 10:09 AM
Oh wow, I didn't realise that was the root cause of the red hair thing. Personally, I've always adored red hair. It's so pretty and unique.

Stepo_NiNha
June 16th, 2016, 10:12 AM
I don't want to stir up a hornets' nest of debate but I do believe the whole ginger-hate thing is a hangover from the longstanding animosities in the British Isles between England (where there tends to be more blond/brown hair) and Scotland/Ireland (where the red hair tends to be). The hair colour thing is really more about the undercurrent of political and religious divide than colour itself - the red hair is just a more 'visible' sign of where you might have come from, and has left this ugly legacy of hateful behaviour toward redheads.

In the new world, during the Salem witch-hunt era, red hair was one of the 'identifiers' that someone might be a witch. Again, it was not so much about the hair colour per se, it was more about *anything* out of the ordinary being made a target in an age of fear and persecution.

The red hair colour has just become a scapegoat for 'you're different and not one of us so we don't like you'. One of the more shameful aspects of human behaviour.

Yeah, I thought about that either, it might be a ignorant prejudice against red people especially red women because it would be somehow related to witchcraft. Although, here the main hair colour is brown, the persecution against redheads already happened here in the past during the Inquisition time from 16th century, etc.

Yeah, being "different" can be a problem. I really mean it. I also have different ethnicities and I was bullied at school because I looked somehow different. Kids can be really cruel.

Hairkay
June 16th, 2016, 12:06 PM
The only time I recall was when a neighbour looked at my hair and said she couldn't believe it was not longer. According to her my hair type grows long. She had some thin over processed straight permed hair that was 4 inches, mine was BSL but often shrunk to around shoulders. She started the conversation rudely saying something like, "Is that it? Is that all the hair you have?

spirals
June 16th, 2016, 12:53 PM
She started the conversation rudely saying something like, "Is that it? Is that all the hair you have?Wow, what a hypocrite. Or jealous. I have a coworker in her 50s/60s who has short hair that looks like dog fur and yet thinks long hair looks bad on older women. Uh, not listening to her opinion!

MINAKO
June 16th, 2016, 12:58 PM
...has short hair that looks like dog fur...

lol :,,,ddddd

Climber
June 16th, 2016, 02:00 PM
Tim Minchin has a song for about everything:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw

missrandie
June 16th, 2016, 02:34 PM
Tim Minchin has a song for about everything:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw

:spitting:

diddiedaisy
June 16th, 2016, 05:03 PM
I don't want to stir up a hornets' nest of debate but I do believe the whole ginger-hate thing is a hangover from the longstanding animosities in the British Isles between England (where there tends to be more blond/brown hair) and Scotland/Ireland (where the red hair tends to be). The hair colour thing is really more about the undercurrent of political and religious divide than colour itself - the red hair is just a more 'visible' sign of where you might have come from, and has left this ugly legacy of hateful behaviour toward redheads.

In the new world, during the Salem witch-hunt era, red hair was one of the 'identifiers' that someone might be a witch. Again, it was not so much about the hair colour per se, it was more about *anything* out of the ordinary being made a target in an age of fear and persecution.

The red hair colour has just become a scapegoat for 'you're different and not one of us so we don't like you'. One of the more shameful aspects of human behaviour.

I'm in the uk, and I disagree that the red hate thing is an undercurrent of political or religious divide. There is red hair in my family and my nephews who had red hair got teased from an extremely young age. What do four year olds know about political history? Crickey, sometimes it seems most adults don't even know about it. One of my best friends at junior school (age 6-11) had red hair and got mercilessly teased, but she was the only child in school with red hair. I personally think it comes down to looking different. Plain and simple. Children will always tease others who look a bit different, it's a very sad fact but a true fact. Red hair, curly hair, it's not the average, so it gives people a reason to be nasty for no reason. What's even sadder is that some children grow into adults who carry on doing the same thing.

I say let them live in their negative world, because karma has a way of coming round and biting you on the a** :)

calmyogi
June 16th, 2016, 05:03 PM
I don't want to stir up a hornets' nest of debate but I do believe the whole ginger-hate thing is a hangover from the longstanding animosities in the British Isles between England (where there tends to be more blond/brown hair) and Scotland/Ireland (where the red hair tends to be). The hair colour thing is really more about the undercurrent of political and religious divide than colour itself - the red hair is just a more 'visible' sign of where you might have come from, and has left this ugly legacy of hateful behaviour toward redheads.

In the new world, during the Salem witch-hunt era, red hair was one of the 'identifiers' that someone might be a witch. Again, it was not so much about the hair colour per se, it was more about *anything* out of the ordinary being made a target in an age of fear and persecution.

The red hair colour has just become a scapegoat for 'you're different and not one of us so we don't like you'. One of the more shameful aspects of human behaviour.

My experience has been a more modern one. Dark or tanned skin is attractive to a lot of people in the US and most red heads don't tan well. My cousin is very very pale with light brown hair. She is always envious of my skin color because she believes the majority of men aren't usually attracted to milky skin. She had one boyfriend that ever truly admired her skin.

anou
June 17th, 2016, 02:36 AM
Not really. But here there seems to a be a growing trend of bleaching/coloring/highlights so I often get told that I should get some to "make my hair look less boring". So black=boring apparently. Also, flat ironing is the way to go, according to a lot of people.

Iamsiam
June 17th, 2016, 03:26 AM
Not really. But here there seems to a be a growing trend of bleaching/coloring/highlights so I often get told that I should get some to "make my hair look less boring". So black=boring apparently. Also, flat ironing is the way to go, according to a lot of people.

Don't listen to them, your black hair is glorious!

blackcats666
June 17th, 2016, 07:41 AM
Don't listen to them, your black hair is glorious!

Agreed. Silky, shiny, black long hair (without using dyes or having roots to worry about) is my dream! I've always been so enamoured with it.

Silverbleed
June 17th, 2016, 08:00 AM
Not really. But here there seems to a be a growing trend of bleaching/coloring/highlights so I often get told that I should get some to "make my hair look less boring". So black=boring apparently. Also, flat ironing is the way to go, according to a lot of people.

They are boring.


Lmao sorry but I really don't get it :') There's nothing wrong with simple, plain, natural, basic, whatever anyone would like to call their looks. I prefer simple as well but for some reason people seem to think they shouldn't look simple or plain to other people "or else they think I am not fun to hang out with." I rather not hang with anyone who thinks that in the first place, thanks. Not to mention your hair is gorgeous.

RustyAl
June 17th, 2016, 08:29 AM
Well as a red/auburn haired guy, I got insulted quite a bit due to my hair. When I was small, had short hair a got teased a lot due to the colour of my hair, being called ginger, having no soul, and all the other red haired stereotypes was really hurtful when I was younger. As I got older these things really didnt make me react in the slightest and of course when your'e older you can brush it off and take it as a joke, but when your'e small they can be really hurtful as I know from first hand experience.

Now at the moment being a longish hair guy, you usually have to deal with the stereotypes given to men with long hair, "being perceived as unprofessional" (which is probably one that makes me react, as judge me on my job performance and not the way I look) "You look like a girl (of course if far from the truth, and more of an attempted insult, but doesnt offend me in the slightest), of course their are others. But over time have learnt to brush off these comments

anou
June 17th, 2016, 08:40 AM
Don't listen to them, your black hair is glorious!


Agreed. Silky, shiny, black long hair (without using dyes or having roots to worry about) is my dream! I've always been so enamoured with it.


They are boring.


Lmao sorry but I really don't get it :') There's nothing wrong with simple, plain, natural, basic, whatever anyone would like to call their looks. I prefer simple as well but for some reason people seem to think they shouldn't look simple or plain to other people "or else they think I am not fun to hang out with." I rather not hang with anyone who thinks that in the first place, thanks. Not to mention your hair is gorgeous.

Aw thanks guys!

I am happy with my hair, though I've often wished it was a bit lighter colored simply because intricate braids don't show well in my hair. But dying seems like a chore (the rate at which my hair is growing these days, my roots would show up pretty quickly), plus I can't really change my hair color without bleach so I'd just rather not bother. Another thing is that lighter hair just won't go well with my skin tone.

Silverbleed, I get the simple/plain/natural thing. I almost NEVER wear makeup and I've had so many people say I should. What is their problem? I'm not saying makeup is bad, I just feel more comfortable without it, so I choose to go without.

spirals
June 17th, 2016, 09:09 AM
Not really. But here there seems to a be a growing trend of bleaching/coloring/highlights so I often get told that I should get some to "make my hair look less boring". So black=boring apparently. Also, flat ironing is the way to go, according to a lot of people.

I think black hair is gorgeous. This post reminds me: I was researching events in an area I'm not familiar with and because weddings are held there pictures of those kept coming up. I found this: http://thepaperelephant.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/002-Bride-Richland-Center-Wedding-Wisconsin-Tegan-Jae(pp_w882_h588).jpg People can do whatever they want with their hair, but I personally wouldn't want such obvious stripes immortalized in my wedding album. Not a fan of that style of makeup, either. I guess whatever floats your boat....

Moonfall
June 17th, 2016, 09:28 AM
Aw thanks guys!

Silverbleed, I get the simple/plain/natural thing. I almost NEVER wear makeup and I've had so many people say I should. What is their problem? I'm not saying makeup is bad, I just feel more comfortable without it, so I choose to go without.

Oh yes, this goes for me as well. I find it so annoying how people can be pushy about those things. I mean, if someone doesn't appear to wear any makeup, why tell them they should? It's not as if they've never heard of makeup, as if they don't know it exists. If someone doesn't wear it, it most likely means they do not want to. I remember I was like this already in high school, and a girl told me "Every girl wears makeup, so why don't you?" :rolleyes:

Betazed
June 17th, 2016, 11:21 AM
Tim Minchin has a song for about everything:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw

Thank you, Climber for introducing me to this guy. :thumbsup:I'm back from an hour long YouTube Tim Minchin binge and he definitely has a new fan! It was a much needed laughter break from this depressing thread.

And now, after that not so brief detour, I'm going to finish reading this thread....

anou
June 17th, 2016, 12:07 PM
Oh yes, this goes for me as well. I find it so annoying how people can be pushy about those things. I mean, if someone doesn't appear to wear any makeup, why tell them they should? It's not as if they've never heard of makeup, as if they don't know it exists. If someone doesn't wear it, it most likely means they do not want to. I remember I was like this already in high school, and a girl told me "Every girl wears makeup, so why don't you?" :rolleyes:

I was lucky enough in that I went to a private school with a uniform and strict rules, which meant that makeup wasn't allowed. :lol: But yeah, later on in college I got this a lot. Still do. Even my hair. Part of the reason for cutting it short was because everyone kept telling me to do it. Now I regret it, but well, I'm growing away...


I think black hair is gorgeous. This post reminds me: I was researching events in an area I'm not familiar with and because weddings are held there pictures of those kept coming up. I found this: http://thepaperelephant.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/002-Bride-Richland-Center-Wedding-Wisconsin-Tegan-Jae(pp_w882_h588).jpg People can do whatever they want with their hair, but I personally wouldn't want such obvious stripes immortalized in my wedding album. Not a fan of that style of makeup, either. I guess whatever floats your boat....

Ahh. Yeah those highlights are too...obvious.for my taste. Try envisioning an Indian complexion with that brown hair color plus thick, yellow-blonde highlights. It's what everybody does these days and those colors do not suit our complexion at all!

Climber
June 17th, 2016, 04:17 PM
Missrandie and Betazed, glad you liked the Minchin video. I'm a big fan of his stuff.

Cheers!

diddiedaisy
June 17th, 2016, 04:36 PM
Not really. But here there seems to a be a growing trend of bleaching/coloring/highlights so I often get told that I should get some to "make my hair look less boring". So black=boring apparently. Also, flat ironing is the way to go, according to a lot of people.

Black hair was the colour I always wanted. Its so glossy and beautiful. However, as a very fair skinned natural blonde even brown hair makes me look like a witch lol If I got the chance to change my genetics, black glossy hair would be top of the list.

teal
June 17th, 2016, 05:48 PM
Not really that I can recall, though they did happen. I just haven't bothered to dedicate space in my memory to the specifics. Now that I'm thinking on it, I used to get mocked for looking boyish. But that was also partly to do with my fashion, which at the time was baggy jeans and teeshirts, and that I had a full undercut shaved where the guys would cut (at the temples) and not where most girls would cut at the time (below the ears). Those mocking me were just trying to get my goat. It did work to a degree (I was young, we were young..) but I don't recall it happening more than occasionally so it must not have worked very well. I was already known by then for not giving two squirts about what anyone else thought of how I looked, among other things.

I do recall being extremely peeved at an elderly man thinking I was a boy when me and my cousin were running a lemonade stand. We were single-digit age, probably 7-9, and my hair at the time was down to my butt and in a ponytail. In my mind at the time, how could he possibly think I was a boy?!? Now, of course, I think maybe his eyesight just wasn't that great. After all, I hadn't hit puberty. :lol:

Betazed
June 18th, 2016, 12:24 AM
I didn't get teased or bullied as a kid for my hair. My hair was between hip and classic for most of my childhood (until a disastrous chin length bob when I was 13) but that was normal in my elementary school. There were even boys who had hair that long! I did get bullied for looking "white" or "not Native enough", which I suppose was partly due to my lighter brown/auburn hair, as well as my lighter skin tone and green eyes. But that didn't begin until I entered high school.

As to people cutting, burning, and just destroying someone else's hair: When I was in high school there was a girl with really pretty, straight, white-blonde hair who used to hang around the Native boys in my group of friends. One of the older girls (from the same group that bullied me), took a lighter and lit the bottom of her hair. I hadn't ever seen anything burn so fast! She had mid-back length and the next day, after she had all the damage cut out, she returned to school with it no longer than her chin. She was devastated and I felt guilty for not saying anything to those older girls. I felt just as complicit in the act because I didn't stand up and tell them how horrible they had been. This situation is what made me stand up to those girls and anyone else who I thought was being cruel. I still feel bad that I hadn't said anything at the time, though. Especially now that I know how much a persons hair can matter to them.

Moonfall
June 18th, 2016, 04:25 AM
Betazed, that is a terrible story! I feel so sorry for that girl :( It's great you were able to step up to those older girls later on, though. I truly admire that!

mikibits
June 24th, 2016, 08:48 PM
Not really. But here there seems to a be a growing trend of bleaching/coloring/highlights so I often get told that I should get some to "make my hair look less boring". So black=boring apparently. Also, flat ironing is the way to go, according to a lot of people.

Women with curly long black hair are the most attractive of all for me . . . I know, ~tmi~, but just saying. Don't listen to jealous people--your hair is gorgeously wonderful. ^_^

mikibits
June 24th, 2016, 08:51 PM
Black hair was the colour I always wanted. Its so glossy and beautiful. However, as a very fair skinned natural blonde even brown hair makes me look like a witch lol If I got the chance to change my genetics, black glossy hair would be top of the list.

I'm in the same boat. I always wished I had dark hair and not so pale skin. Black hair is the prettiest of them all to me.

anou
June 25th, 2016, 12:54 PM
Aw thanks guys, y'all are really sweet :)

The grass is always greener on the other side I suppose :P

It's not just hair, people in my country are obsessed with skin color too.

Betazed that is horrible, I feel so sorry for her!

Stepo_NiNha
June 25th, 2016, 04:21 PM
Aw thanks guys, y'all are really sweet :)

The grass is always greener on the other side I suppose :P

It's not just hair, people in my country are obsessed with skin color too.

Betazed that is horrible, I feel so sorry for her!

Hi anou, Im half Indian and my hair used to make a lot of success when it was dyed JET black! Especially because it also didnt look like fake with my brownish skin. Now Im back to my natural dark brown colour. And believe me, a lot of people here go to the beach to have tanned skin and envy my natural skin colour, so you should feel really lucky!

pahbee
June 25th, 2016, 05:01 PM
My hair is pretty thin & fine. It looks a bit more volumous shorter, but it's not like a drastic difference. During school, my hair was nothing fine to look at. I didn't know how to take care of it. The products I used were harsh and not suited for my hair. It was always somehow dry and oily at the same time, limp, stringy, and thin. I was made fun of it. One time a teacher told me that my hair looked greasy and told me to wash it. My family agreed, said that my classmates were going to make fun of me, and kept on saying how much nicer my hair would be if I chopped it off in a short bob or a boyish cut. I did not want to have short hair, at all. This was during a period of time when I was trying to not stick out, and I was insecure about my femininity.

When I first started growing my hair out in college, it wasn't really great in quality. I had a ton of frizz & broken hairs sticking out of my head. My hair texture is generally weak. So then, I'd always get comments from family saying that my hair looked bad/unhealthy and that I should cut it. Even now I get comments to cut my hair, probably more so because they just prefer shoulder-length hair. They're so confused by my decision to grow out my hair and don't get why'd I want to grow my hair out past bra-length. For them, bra-length hair is already too long. I think short hair is pretty hot on other girls. But even so, I've always liked long hair on myself.

My hair is healthier now, thanks to henna and loads of conditioner, and I got a compliment about my hair texture the other day. :puppykisses: