Help me embrace my waves/curls

[dansyl]

My hair is naturally curly...it's more wavy now since most of it is bleached... but I'd love to be able to embrace my natural hair and go heatless... but every time i try it ends up a frizzy mess. Can anyone help? TIA!

[pailin]

The main things I think of are:
-more moisture. Mine always wants moooaaar moisture.
- protein, since it's bleached- might help with the frizz.
-try not to comb it dry (not that I should say this, since I do it)
-sometimes if it's no longer wet and it's frizzy, some leave in or oil, then bunning for a while, helps so when I take it down it's no longer frizzy.

[lapushka]

Yes, it sometimes needs a change in routine, where you put more moisture in the lengths. The LOC method is great for this, also you'll have a bit of a styler in there and that helps with frizz and going heatless. You don't need much of every product (link is in my signature) but just layering them means it will lock in that moisture and tame the fuzzies.

Yes! Not combing it dry is *key*!

[ephemeri]

My hair is naturally curly...it's more wavy now since most of it is bleached... but I'd love to be able to embrace my natural hair and go heatless... but every time i try it ends up a frizzy mess. Can anyone help? TIA!

Have you heard of the curly girl method or "CG"? It is a literal life-saver for many curlies/wavies. There is a ton of information on the internet about it but I can summarize some of the major parts of it:

1. avoid certain ingredients (the biggest ones are sulfates and silicones, there are other problematic ingredients out there but too many to list, look into them later if you're still having issues). Not everyone has problems with silicones so YMMV. But the idea is that silicones coat the hair, effectively leaving moisture out which can wreck havoc on curly/wavy hair since it already tends to be dry. Sulfates are also drying but a sulfate shampoo is generally required to wash the silicones out so you get into this vicious cycle.

2. Don't brush your hair dry. It will become a huge poof.

3. Avoid heat styling, if possible. My hair takes forever to dry and I hate the wet look so I use a diffuser. I use low heat for just a few seconds then I switch the heat off entirely. I don't have any other option during the week because I hate waiting 8 hours for my hair to dry.

4. Conditioner, conditioner, conditioner. Co-washing (conditioner washing) is wonderful. I use a sulfate-free shampoo once a week but I co-wash daily. I scrub my scalp with a little bit of a light silicone-free conditioner (Nature's Gate). I also deep condition 1-2 times a week. Curly hair is dry and needs moisture.

5. For styling, the method that has helped me the most is called "squish to condish" which allows your hair to form curl clumps in the shower, just prior to putting styling products in. It's easier to watch a youtube tutorial than to explain it: https://youtu.be/tMW0ZsYXAjE

6. Product layering for moisture and styling. Many curlies/wavies need some products in their hair to maintain the curls/waves throughout the day/week. There is a great method called the LOC method that many people get good results from. It generally stands for "Leave-in" or "Liquid", "Oil", "Cream." But there are TONS of variations on this, depending on whether you are low or high porosity and what season it is. I use Kinky Curly Knot Today for my leave in, jojoba/apricot kernal oil for the oil in the summer/humidity OR Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie in the winter, and then I use LA Looks gel (I don't usually use cream because I need a lot of hold).

Here's another great video which goes over a lot of different products and how to use them. You do not need to use all these products! But I think she has a lot of good info: https://youtu.be/EwYsto4Iv-U

7. If you do venture into using gel, scrunch it into your hair while it's still very wet. Wait for it to fully dry. Don't touch your hair while it's drying. Once it's completely dry, "scrunch out the crunch" (SOTC) by gently scrunching your hands from tips to roots through your dry hair. This breaks the gel cast so that your hair is no longer hard and crunchy. It reveals soft curls/waves that will hold throughout the day.

HTH!

[lapushka]

I think the CG sometimes needs to be modified. Esp. if you have bleached hair, like the OP does. She might need the silicones (and I'd most certainly recommend them for bleached hair), she might need a sulfate or sulfate-free shampoo. Modified CG exists as well.

You just have to get the moisture part of it right. That's why I WCC, condition twice after washing, because I do a sort of "modified CG", and because I *need to* wash with a regular sulfate shampoo. I still use the LOC method, I still use rinse-out oil. Just as long as you find a way to lock some moisture into the hair - it's fine!

[pailin]

Moisture is definitely important. People often talk about it being specifically a curly problem, but my hair is only wavy, and it needs a LOT of moisture. Even though it's practically all virgin. My experience with a flat iron was that it got my hair straight-ish, but instantly so dry and staticky that I had to put more leave-ins, which took it back to not-straight, which is why I gave up on the flatiron really fast. Anyway, moisture isn't only an issue for curly girls.

[ephemeri]

Moisture is definitely important. People often talk about it being specifically a curly problem, but my hair is only wavy, and it needs a LOT of moisture. Even though it's practically all virgin. My experience with a flat iron was that it got my hair straight-ish, but instantly so dry and staticky that I had to put more leave-ins, which took it back to not-straight, which is why I gave up on the flatiron really fast. Anyway, moisture isn't only an issue for curly girls.

I completely agree. My hair is both wavy and curly and I battle dryness every day. I think I said "curly hair tends to be dry" up there but when I say 'curly', I always mean curly AND wavy. :)

[ephemeri]

I think the CG sometimes needs to be modified. Esp. if you have bleached hair, like the OP does. She might need the silicones (and I'd most certainly recommend them for bleached hair), she might need a sulfate or sulfate-free shampoo. Modified CG exists as well.

You just have to get the moisture part of it right. That's why I WCC, condition twice after washing, because I do a sort of "modified CG", and because I *need to* wash with a regular sulfate shampoo. I still use the LOC method, I still use rinse-out oil. Just as long as you find a way to lock some moisture into the hair - it's fine!

Absolutely. YMMV with every hair technique, that's why there are so many of them! :)

I definitely encourage the OP to try what works best for them. I have heard of people with bleach damage doing well without silicones, it just depends! :beerchug:

[Curly276mom]

I loved cg, it completely changed my relationship with my hair. Following the techniques I finally learned how to style my hair in a way that looked great down. I had always thought I had uncontrollable frizzy puffy hair. It turns out after transition to cg (transition because the hair takes a month or more to get used to the method before seeing results), I have little corkscrew curls. Who knew? Certainly surprised me!

My hair experiments continue and I'm currently learning a new method, but I love cg for letting me learn my curls and find the love for my hair.

[Arctic]

Yes, my hair is also only wavy, parts of it almost straight, and it thrives on moisture moisture, moisture.

[dansyl]

My hair is silky/shiny when I flat iron it... But I need to do less heat. I only use it once a week when I wash and it still makes me feel horrible lol. I have heard of The Curly girl method. I think I'm gonna try oiling right after I wash, plopping and see how it goes. If it looks awful I can always re wash it. My hair is soooooooo dry. It needs moisture so bad!

[dansyl]

And I have to use cones. My hair HATES shampoos without cones. :/

[dansyl]

Would coconut oil be a good oil to use while still wet?

[pailin]

Would coconut oil be a good oil to use while still wet?

If you already have it, try it and see.

[Ophidian]

You already have lots of helpful ideas here, but I second (third, fourth, fifth...) moisture and playing around with your routine a bit. I always heard that curly hair tends to be dry but it didn't cross my mind until recently that my wavy 2a-ish hair frizz/poof/flyaway issues might be because it was dry! Oiling while damp helped me, as did adding some honey in somewhere during my wash (either in condish or mixed with water as a rinse, left in for a bit at the end before final rinse... it's a humectant). There is also a thread around here somewhere titled something like "favorite moisture hits" that has a lot of good ideas for things to use when you need a little extra moisture in between washes.

CG, or modified CG, is definitely worth checking out for new ideas to bring out your waves. I like t-shirt plopping to dry, but I actually have to brush or at least finger comb my hair when it's dry to bring the waves together, otherwise I end up with a few loose curls and a whole mess of individual strands waving wherever they please. That's me though. I don't mind flattening my waves out a bit, and prefer a sleeker look. There are definitely methods (like LOC, which I know lapushka mentioned) that seem to work well for wavies who really like to bring out their texture. YMMV as always!

There is also a wavy thread here that has a looooot of great styling/routine ideas for all kinds of wavies, depending on the effect you are going for (more texture, less texture, less frizz, etc). Hope this helps!

[Ophidian]

Would coconut oil be a good oil to use while still wet?

My hair loves coconut oil while wet. When dry, my hair feels soft, moisturized, and not at all oily. That said, some people find coconut makes their hair feel weird and crunchy, in which case you could experiment with others to see what your hair likes. Coconut is definitely worth a shot though, IMO.

[MINAKO]

My umpopular two cents would be that you don't HAVE to pish yourself towards being completely into your natural texture. It sounds to me as if you like your hairmost a certain way but would like to cut down on heat to avoid damage. Needless to say that thats beneficial for wurls to look nicer and if you get to hair there and think you will enjoy it than that would be the way. If you don't, find more gentle styling methods like wrapping maybe. Check what you could improve in your process while using heat, how to prep your hair for it and condition after.
I'm saying this from a very personal point of view as i know for myself i would never want long hair if it was my natural texture wich is about anything between 1c-3a, it just grows uneven, smooth in some places, defined in others and terribly frizzy here and there too. My hair is keratin treated wich is a bit of a commitment but actually very low maintenance fore me. Not that i'm trying to tell you its what you need to do. Just decide what you like and then consider the best options to get there.

[Ophidian]

Minako I totally agree with you :). Waves are kind of great in that you can either find ways to pump them up if you want to emphasize that texture, or style differently to flatten them out a bit if that's what you prefer. I'm actually the latter. Nothing wrong with either one! I think it's just about finding out what gives you the effect you want.

[dansyl]

My umpopular two cents would be that you don't HAVE to pish yourself towards being completely into your natural texture. It sounds to me as if you like your hairmost a certain way but would like to cut down on heat to avoid damage. Needless to say that thats beneficial for wurls to look nicer and if you get to hair there and think you will enjoy it than that would be the way. If you don't, find more gentle styling methods like wrapping maybe. Check what you could improve in your process while using heat, how to prep your hair for it and condition after.
I'm saying this from a very personal point of view as i know for myself i would never want long hair if it was my natural texture wich is about anything between 1c-3a, it just grows uneven, smooth in some places, defined in others and terribly frizzy here and there too. My hair is keratin treated wich is a bit of a commitment but actually very low maintenance fore me. Not that i'm trying to tell you its what you need to do. Just decide what you like and then consider the best options to get there.

I do really love my hair straightened. I oil before and after blow during and straightening and if I blow dry first I really don't have to straighten that much. It's more to smooth my hair and get that last little curl out.

[MINAKO]

I totally love using heavy products to weigh my hair down too. It's basically overconditioned and oiled all the time but due to the density it's not even really visible.
I could imagine that some good smoothing products like Avedas for example plus practising the wrapping trchnique and letting hair airdry or using a hooded dryer could work winders for your hair while reducing the heat during styling.
If you are at APL now wrapping is still withing the possibilities. I'd do that all the time but have trouble to arrange my hair neat enough for it to actually work.

[enting]

As a curly with a wavy underlayer, my hair looks best with lots of vinegar rinsing or with lots of conditioner, scrunched and plopped, pinned up in some places to dry so it gets root volume, and then it needs to not be touched, not be blown by wind, not be mussed at all. Then it looks close to 3b.
Or, I can wait for my hair to dry after washing, comb it out gently and add oil to my hair and it tames down to a pretty well behaved 2a or so, and looks like silk in buns.
Your hair in particular may like very different things than mine, but as long as the hair cuticle is as unruffled as you can get it to be (keeping it at a happy ph and gentle handling) and as long as there's enough moisture and emollience (water, creams, oils, whichever work for you), you'll be definitely in the right direction.

As far as missing the shine of straightening, if you can find the right oils for your hair and the right time to use them, you should be able to achieve a similar shine. For myself I discovered that my hair looks very shiny, healthy, and happy when I use sesame oil or a mix of sesame oil and aloe vera gel on my completely dry hair. It totally changes it from looking like dry straw to healthy and shiny looking. I'd recommend playing around with various different oils and trying out pre-poo oiling, the rinse out oil method, damp oiling, and dry oiling. Everyone's hair seems to like something different. You can also use leave in conditioner, if you don't already.
If you like your hair straight anyway, keeping it full of conditioning products like Minako does can help get it to the point where you may not need heat to straighten it, or if you do, you may not need as much straightening since weighing it down might get you part of the way there already.

When I want my hair to be very curly, I actually need it to feel almost but not quite greasy with the amount of oil or conditioner I apply in order to have a similar shine, simply because curls and waves don't reflect light straight back the way straight hair does. I also usually pre-poo oil or use the rinse out oil method when I want to let my hair curl fully, because I want to manipulate it as little as possible once I'm out of the shower. Adding oil after the shower can sometimes make my hair frizzy. The only exception to that is if I have a lock of hair that doesn't like to "clump" into any sort of coherent curl. In that case, I will saturate that lock with watered down conditioner and wind it around my finger to give it one curl shape to take rather than just a frizzy mess. If your hair doesn't like to clump and therefore all the hairs are going every which way, it may help you to encourage individual waves with your hands or fingers while your hair is still wet.

Keep in mind that if you've been using heat on your hair a lot, it may be damaged and need extra babying in order to behave. It might also take a bit of time. In the past when I've straightened my hair it always took a couple of washes before my hair went entirely back to it's usual texture.

[dansyl]

Yeah I tried the other night to just let it be natural... Sooooo much frizzzzzz

[enting]

What did you try, dansyl? Maybe we can help you tweak your routine if we know what you've tried that doesn't work.

[littlestarface]

Well if you have wavy hair then it's inevitable that your gonna have wild looking hair, it wont look sleek or clumped. So you just gotta learn to love it for the wildness or change it.

[lapushka]

What did you try, dansyl? Maybe we can help you tweak your routine if we know what you've tried that doesn't work.

^^ Yes. This! :)