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View Full Version : Advice: letting the gray grow!



Alaskanheart
May 16th, 2016, 11:54 PM
So my mom is totally 99.9 % gray, and has been for at least 10 years. She has been doing box brown hair color for ever, but goes 1 to 2 inches without touch ups, and even after fresh color the coverage of the box stuff leaves a lot of stubborn gray. Let's just say the jig is up. It's obvious she's gray, and I've been trying to convince her to go natural for years.

She is very picky and has a lot of outdated ideas about haircare. Example: she can't condition her hair because it's fine. So her hair is very dry and tons of very visible splits. I am trying to convince her to start doing weekly oil treatments, but she insists it will " weigh down her thin hair". My hair is just as thin as hers, and I love oil treatments, and alway condish. In fact, I CO washed for years.

Anyhoo, back to the subject. She doesn't want to just let it grow out. Not sure why... as the gray is already 2 inches long, and it's not like she's fooling anyone, but ok whatever. So I guess my question is this: has anyone here decided to go gray after religiously coloring, but maybe enlisted the help of a stylist to make the transition faster and less awkward? If so, how did you accomplish this?

Thanks in advance! My mom has been pinteresting gray hair she likes, and asking me for my opinion. I just want to help her be happy with her hair.

lapushka
May 17th, 2016, 04:09 AM
My mom is fully gray, and now only colors a light blonde every 3 to 4 times a year, which means sometimes she has roots, but they blend into the blonde nicely. It is *her* choice to color. She funnily enough doesn't want *me* to color (let's face it I'm barely gray right now). But that's what you have to remember. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

Just help her with choosing a good dye that has 100% gray coverage (it will say so on the box). There are ammonium-free dyes with perfect gray coverage out there. My mom uses the Syoss dyes but had been using L'oreal (préférence or excellence) for years before that.

Unofficial_Rose
May 17th, 2016, 09:45 AM
Ash blonde highlights? Might be an easier sell than persuading her to go grey, and less maintenance.

Then a good trim after the highlights, maybe somewhere where they'd do a conditioning treatment and this might convert her to conditioner.

I was a dark hendigo-er, then box brown, and it's so grey on top I had some honey blonde highlights recently. Had to go short to get rid of the remaining hendigo though. Love the colour, not so keen on the length. But at least your mum has just used box colour, so she won't have to sacrifice too much length.

I was mostly grey after I pixied it, wanted to go grey but despite fantasies of looking elegant, like say Christine Lagarde or Sarah Harris, it made me look sallow. And geriatric. It really isn't for everyone, so perhaps your mum's in the same boat? Me, I box-died it brown on impulse which looked horrid, like a little brown helmet. All now fixed with lovely, lovely highlights. No pics 'cos I'm cr*p at that, sorry.

I guess it depends how invested she is in the idea of being brunette?

Anje
May 17th, 2016, 11:20 AM
I'm thinking lowlights. Let the gray be highlights, effectively, and just let it come in. I'm pretty sure lowlights grow out really gracefully too.

Is there a chance you can find a volumizing sort of conditioner? Maybe one that claims to be "weightless" in big letters on the front of the bottle?

lapis_lazuli
May 17th, 2016, 11:25 AM
I agree, maybe suggest highlights or lowlights to transition from all over colour to grey (if that is what she wants) :) My mom is fully grey too and I've tried to encourage her to grow it out but she insists she isn't ready for that. To each their own.

lillielil
May 17th, 2016, 11:30 AM
My mom transitioned to white by way of blonde. She used to get her roots touched up every week. Started by adding blonde highlights to her medium/dark hair, then more highlights, then lighter highlights. She did not look great as a blonde, but it helped ease the transition and now she looks gorgeous with white hair.

luluj
May 17th, 2016, 12:35 PM
She doesn't want to just let it grow out. Not sure why... as the gray is already 2 inches long, and it's not like she's fooling anyone, but ok whatever. So I guess my question is this: has anyone here decided to go gray after religiously coloring, but maybe enlisted the help of a stylist to make the transition faster and less awkward? If so, how did you accomplish this?

Thanks in advance! My mom has been pinteresting gray hair she likes, and asking me for my opinion. I just want to help her be happy with her hair.

If your Mom decides to get the help of a colorist be sure that she finds a good one. Colorists can be of a great help but they need to be very good at what they do. If she works with a good colorist then most likely no worries. Your Mom could ask for foil highlights or lowlights or even a bit of both, this way the dye isn't applied directly to her new, silvering roots. This will help the grow out appear a little more subtle. If she trims a little along the way this well help to keep the damage to a minimum.

Eventually the decision to stop coloring will have to made, but it should be her choice. She is lucky to have you on her side, the more support she receives the easier the transition.

:hmm: Another thought is that she could grow out a couple of more inches and then go for a pixie. This is what I did, but it surely isn't for everyone. :scared::laugh:

lapushka
May 17th, 2016, 01:02 PM
OP, have you asked your mom if she wants to grow out her gray, at all? Because if she doesn't want to, this is quite pointless, isn't it? :)

Alaskanheart
May 17th, 2016, 01:44 PM
Totally! She is definitely interested in going gray because she doesn't like up keeping her hair and showing me gray pics on Pinterest as stated in my post... She just doesn't know how to transition.

Nellon
May 17th, 2016, 01:48 PM
I'd echo the advice of others, research and find a really good hairdresser and go for lowlights, and blonde highlights to ease the transition...

lapushka
May 17th, 2016, 01:51 PM
In that case I'm all for the good colorist and the high- or lowlights. Give this into the hands of a pro! If it's done right she only has to go through this once and can let the gray grow out from there. Wishing you both the best of luck! :D

Alaskanheart
May 17th, 2016, 01:54 PM
Thanks for your help everyone. I think I will suggest ash blond highlights and a nice easy cut and offer to pay. I know she is unhappy with the box color upkeep. I do wish I could convince her to condition, but at this point it's just not happening.

Alaskanheart
May 17th, 2016, 01:55 PM
Thank you😘

Qz
May 18th, 2016, 05:39 PM
I'm getting to this party late, but I did just this about 3 years ago myself. I had horrible old color and decided not to do the coloring cycle any more.

What I did was to grow out about 2-3" then cut off everything that had dye on it. I did the basic cutting myself (probably not the best idea but I wanted the dyed stuff gone) and then went and had a stylist shape and spiffy it up. It looked amazingly better once the dyed ends were gone, and it was long dyed ends, from my growth line down to at least bsl when I did the big chop. It was a huge relief to get it cut and start over, and now I"m at waist and totally dye-free.