The Longer Your Hair, The More Jealous People Get?

[mermaiden_hair]

This may sound narcissistic, arrogant, you name it... but I am realizing something very strange. Minus this time, I've had short hair like, maybe a couple of times before. When I say short hair, for a woman, that's usually above her shoulder. Traditionally speaking, at least. Anyway, I realize, whenever I would have shorter hair, I would usually be ignored by men, or they treat me like just like another man, not bad but not flirty or anything like that. Like, as a friend only, I guess you could say?

My hair is growing, it is now at collarbone length... and slowly but surely, men are beginning to notice me again, trying to talk to me about the dumbest stuff, and I would politely respond but try to be distant, as I am married and obviously disinterested. I also notice that my female manager, who used to like me when I was first hired and had my super short bob haircut, now can't stand me anymore as my hair is growing. I know, its insane of me to type this, because you might think, it could be anything? But this happens all the time and its like when I have long hair, people treat me differently, usually in a not so nice way.

So ladies, as your hair grows and people around you grow envious, how do you cope? Especially for the ones with super long hair, I'd imagine people make you feel bad over it, right? :confused:

[Nadine <3]

I have noticed that men pay me more attention. Not in a good way either, like catcalling and such. Drives me nuts! I'm not sure what to do about that, I can't really stop it.

The only other thing is my best friend is a bit jealous. She cut all her hair off (as in a pixie!) and she HATES it (super curly, thick hair...pixie...oy) She's expressed being jealous that my hair is nearing waist and she has to start all over.

[Goddessa]

No not particularly. Even my ex who had a thing for long hair started dating me when I had a pixie and I still got a great deal of attention with every cut I've had including the mohawk and buzzcut. I do notice a difference in the type of men I'm attracting though, and with longer hair(About 2" past collarbone) I'm attracting moreso the "fling" types. It's very minor though. Other than that, I'm a huge spiritual new-agey type and if you're intentionally looking for a difference in ways people are treating you, you're going to attract/notice even more of a difference in how people are actually treating you. Extreme hair types of any type attract attention, that's a fact, but collarbone length is very "normal" and I'd maybe consider if it's something other than your hair? Maybe the way you carry yourself or behave is different.

[Stepo_NiNha]

Hi,

Many people may tell you to cut your hair because long hair is boring. Some people might be jealous, others might be giving you their genuine opinions, with no bad intention at all. But yes, it can be jealousy, especially if you notice that those comments come from other women.

However, at work, long hair might not be the best option if you wear your hair loose. I just don't understand why does she get annoyed with collarbone length? Collarbone is very professional even when your hair is loose, in my opinion. So...maybe she is envious, as you say.

But if you grow your hair longer you might to want to bun it to feel more comfortable at work in a more "professional" style. Let's say: corporate world... If you bun it, there's NO WAY your boss could complain...your hair is completely tied!

I already worked as a hotel recepcionist and we also had very strict rules about hair. Buns were for sure the best option for long haired people. We were not allowed to leave our hair loose if we were passing collarbone and we could not have red nails.

My best advice is: just ignore her jealousy and keep growing if it's what you really want for your hair :)

Be happy!!

[Cg]

I've spent my long life going from super long to short and back, and I can assure you men give as much attention to shorties as they do long-hairs.

So do some but by no means most women. Envy may play a part in the occasional negative remark, but it is probably unfair to impute unkind motives in general. We cannot know for certain what is in someone else's mind.

I can't recall anyone trying to make me feel bad about my hair choices. (Other than moaning when it went from really long to pixie, and even then it clearly wasn't intended as hurtful.)

[Mademoiselle]

I personally believe that if there can be jealous of other women, and attract the man also, I note to cut my hair almost waist to bob 3 years ago, men looked at me much less (it is a nonsense which no made that I liked least my new cut =)) but what most hurt me was what made my friend when I cut it, that's when I saw the jealousy of women, I always had the longer and healthier hair that she and when he cut it kept boast of her hair was bsl +, I said I really liked her long hair and I was gonna grow my hair again, then one day we were drinking beer with some friends I look and said-I at least have long hair (with face hate me =( ) did much damage that, it seems he did not want me to be happy in my way long hair again, was jealous of that he might grow .I can not forget that, I always help she with her hair, teach oil mask and cut the damaged ends, I can not understand that she feels bad to me for wanting my hair grow.

[Mya]

I don't feel bad at all. Envy is a HUGE compliment. That's how you cope with becoming more and more beautiful every day! :cool: :blossom:

[Chromis]

Meh, I have not encountered this personally, but most people do not want hair as long as mine. Clearly, the answer is just to keep growing!

[Mademoiselle]

that's a good way to deal Mya :) :cheese:

[humble_knight]

You're not asking for men's opinions, but I hope it's all right to chip in with my two cents.

As my hair has grown, on the whole, I've had comments from other men who tell me my hair is too long and that I need to get it cut. I've never experienced jealousy in regard to my hair, or any other part of me.

[Hairkay]

I've never experienced this. Of course with my shrinkage it's almost impossible to say exactly what length my hair is. I've also never been like that with others.

[nekosan]

I do find myself easily envious of people with longer or nicer hair than mine; i just remind myself to admire what they have, and appreciate what i have. =)

[sarahthegemini]

Longer hair = more jealousy? No. Christ. With all due respect, that is incredibly narcissistic. There are people out there that don't like long hair. I know, crazy right? :shrug:

Your manager does sound petty though.

[littlestarface]

Collarbone? That seems so short, I'm surprised anyone would act different with collarbone hair, thats like what neck length :confused: How short is everyones hair where you work at? Like above ear length?

[Shepherdess]

No, I don't think people really get envious of my hair. People make nice compliments sometimes, and sometimes negative, but they just mostly seem baffled that I would want to keep and care for all this hair, since it is not just long, but very thick and curly. I think that after a certain length, only long hair lovers will appreciate it, since hair past classic length is a bit much for some and they only can seem to imagine how much trouble it would be to shampoo, brush and care for it all. :grin: I have had more comments like "I can't imagine how much shampoo and conditioner you must use for all of that", "how do you go to the bathroom?", "you could strangle yourself with a braid like that", or "you could cut half of that hair off and it still would be longer than most and more manageable!" from both men and women alike, and I know that they genuinely were baffled by my decision to keep my hair this long. This is partly why I mostly keep my hair up and out of the way when in public.

[Pearly~91]

I don't think it's fair to assume that people are treating you differently just because of the length of your hair. The idea that people who don't like long hair are just jealous gets brought up every once in a while around here, and I don't generally agree.

I think that if you expect people to treat you differently, that's what you get. When something changes, you sort of expect a response and become more conscious of how people behave towards you. At least, this has been my experience. If you don't bring your hair to their attention, people don't usually notice it. However, if you do bring it to their attention, (examples: talking about it, fixing it in front of people, asking for their opinions on it) that is another issue entirely. They might not like that.

So, I've never really had to cope with envious people when it comes to my hair. If it seems like someone is treating you differently because of your hair, you're probably drawing too much attention to it. And once your hair grows past the 'normal' range of long hair most people just think it's weird, in my experience. (that is, if they notice at all...)


This may sound narcissistic, arrogant, you name it... but I am realizing something very strange. Minus this time, I've had short hair like, maybe a couple of times before. When I say short hair, for a woman, that's usually above her shoulder. Traditionally speaking, at least. Anyway, I realize, whenever I would have shorter hair, I would usually be ignored by men, or they treat me like just like another man, not bad but not flirty or anything like that. Like, as a friend only, I guess you could say?

My hair is growing, it is now at collarbone length... and slowly but surely, men are beginning to notice me again, trying to talk to me about the dumbest stuff, and I would politely respond but try to be distant, as I am married and obviously disinterested. I also notice that my female manager, who used to like me when I was first hired and had my super short bob haircut, now can't stand me anymore as my hair is growing. I know, its insane of me to type this, because you might think, it could be anything? But this happens all the time and its like when I have long hair, people treat me differently, usually in a not so nice way.

So ladies, as your hair grows and people around you grow envious, how do you cope? Especially for the ones with super long hair, I'd imagine people make you feel bad over it, right? :confused:

[Five of Five]

I've gone from long hair to short many times in my life.

From between waist and classic (which is generally what is considered long in my demographic), the only difference I noticed was that I started to get a lot of positive comments from women on it, especially when down or in a braid. Men really don't seem to care or notice from ear length to classic on me.

[Lavendersugar]

Your self esteem might be different as your hair grows. People often under estimate the power of self esteem.
This would be my case. With short hair I lack self esteem or at least the kind I have with longer hair. Confidence radiates and attracts a different kind of attention. Sometimes this is good and other times it is bad.

Most men like long hair. I should clarify and say by long I mean middle of the back or waist. It seems if it is longer then it depends on the guy. Middle of the back is what most models have or often playboy bunnies. So, the guys see it in the media on highly attractive women. This is a direct influence. Guys are often visually driven creatures.
My personal take on it is the swishing of the hair attracts them like cats to yarn.


As for other women, I get hair envy all the time. This doesn't make me dislike them for their lovely locks. In fact I'm drawn to the person. I'm like a moth to flame with long pretty hair.

My hair is not stunning. All I really have is shine and no body. Because I hate blow drying my is just sort of just there and rather lifeless. It is not even full looking or like those with really smooth straight hair. It's healthy but not eye catching. I've never noticed if someone treats me different because of it. I do have people that think I'm crazy for wanting to grow it out so long.

[Wildcat Diva]

You're not asking for men's opinions, but I hope it's all right to chip in with my two cents.

As my hair has grown, on the whole, I've had comments from other men who tell me my hair is too long and that I need to get it cut. I've never experienced jealousy in regard to my hair, or any other part of me.


My husband gets a lot of negative comments and great comments as he has grown his hair and beard out for two years. Yesterday an old friend ragged on his abundance of hair and said he looked like Castro. Other people go out of their way to comment on his long beard. It's an either love or hate thing, and people feel compelled to shout it out to him. Huh.

[Kherome]

People who like long hair seem to think everyone does, and they imagine people must be jealous of them. Something like the emperor and his new "clothes."

[EdG]

My husband gets a lot of negative comments and great comments as he has grown his hair and beard out for two years. Yesterday an old friend ragged on his abundance of hair and said he looked like Castro. Other people go out of their way to comment on his long beard. It's an either love or hate thing, and people feel compelled to shout it out to him. Huh.After a certain length, the negative comments will turn into expressions of bewilderment. ;)
Ed

[Adorkable One]

I feel like I'm often the envious one, not others. Heehee. My hair is typically always pretty poofy looking. So despite having been long, I don't think it's overall appearance is commonly coveted by others.

However, I did have a coworker marvel at the fact that my hair felt pretty good for being bleached. She just did a big chop to her own hair, and went on unusually long about her hatred for "fried hair." She then took it upon herself to feel mine, which happened to be a rare day I wore it down, and straight, and she was surprised it felt normal. I think it was her passively trying to criticize my bleached hair because she felt insecure about having to cut her own. Meh. It just felt snide on her part, so I assume jealousy, but I could have misinterpreted things.

As for men, I notice no difference one way or the other based on my hair. I suppose I got slightly more attention with my fun colors. Some guys really like it, but then some men seemed disgusted by it. Attractive is attractive. Hair makes no difference. If you're attractive, you'll get looks regardless of hair length. I get most feedback from women. We're the ones that fret over details. Lol.

[Qz]

I'm one of those too who likes seeing other long hairs and am a little envious of their pretty hair (in a good way!) I saw one woman back about 7 years ago in the crowd at a concert in a casino. She had the most beautiful strikingly white long hair I ever saw on anyone. It was absolutely white and had really nice braid waves, and must have been about waist length. Awesome!

[browneyedsusan]

My 1" micropixies, got compliments and flirty behavior too? I think people notice and comment on things that are "different". Women used to really talk up my pixies. They said: I was brave to go that short, their husbands would never tolerate it, they would look ugly with short hair, whatever. :spitting: I wore my hair short because that's the way I liked it, DH liked my other girly attributes, and no small children ran away screaming because they were so repulsed by my haircut.

You be you. Be nice to Boss, and let her deal with her issues by herself, like a big girl. Don't get sucked into any drama.

[neko_kawaii]

Can't say I've experienced any envy or even any negative comments on what I suppose can now be classified as super long hair. No correlation with any gender approaching me more or less compared to the numerous times I've had short hair. The only time there was a noticeable change in people approaching me or treating me was in college when I shaved my head and all the attention was positive (except for the crazy lady on the bus, but I'd ridden with her for over a year at that point and I knew her reactions were not under her control - her panic was memorable however!)

Any chance the boss's change in behavior is due to your performance instead of your appearance?

[mermaiden_hair]

I think I need to clarify some things. I do apologize if what I said in my OP seemed harsh because that was not my intention at all. I am not saying that all women who have short hair are these desexualized beings who are automatically damaged and ugly to look at. I'd argue that there are women out there who can pull off any length and still look amazing, and I admire that greatly. I am talking about women (and even men) who look so-so with a short length and only looks better with a longer length and then notice a difference in how other people respond to them. I don't look good with short hair.. I wish I did! But, I can only look decent with longer than shoulder length and that's just me, not other people, as everybody is unique!

I don't dress or act provocative, I am much too modest and old-fashioned for that. If I'm not interested in a man, I don't flirt with him, period. My company is also suffering from organization issues, which holds me back sometimes when I am trying to do my job, and that really isn't my fault, though I do try to keep it moving despite the obstacles. I am going to look for another job, since this is clearly not working out for me or for my managers. I treat everybody in a casual, friendly manner, no matter what hair length I happen to have. I'm not a drop dead gorgeous model, nor do I insinuate that in my OP, at least, I don't think, but I do apologize if I come across like that. :( Not my intention at all!

[spidermom]

I'm honestly bewildered that some people persist in the belief that long hair makes other people jealous.

[lapushka]

My youngest aunt just came over to visit, and she commented on my bun. "Oh my God look at that, such a cute bun! You should do braids, braids are so in right now", and then she made gestures like a crown braid, "like that all over". It was so much fun! :D

[lithostoic]

I don't think anyone outside LHC pays that close attention to hair.

[mermaiden_hair]

I'm honestly bewildered that some people persist in the belief that long hair makes other people jealous.

I'm a tad jealous of people with long hair, in that the greener pastures sort of way. :)

[DaveDecker]

I'm honestly bewildered that some people persist in the belief that long hair makes other people jealous.

I say this not to be intentionally contrary, but to be informative. On numerous occasions IRL, women have very clearly told me, directly to my face, that they were jealous of my hair. The first few times it startled me so much I didn't know what to say / left me speechless. After that I've tried to be reassuring (that they too can have long hair if they are gentle with theirs and stay away from the scissors).

ETA: Also, at my last job, I was told by a guy (who worked on a different floor of the same building) that several women who worked on the same floor had told him they were jealous of my hair.

[Silverbrumby]

I've only had above shoulder length hair twice in my adult life and I can definitely say I got way less attention at that length. The reason is I have a 'strong' face (hehe). I look like crap in a pixie because of this, manish. I think the amount of attention or lack of it is more individual. It depends on how you rock the style and not some much the length IMO. EXCEPT long hair, as in tail bone length and beyond. I've watched people and that hair, when on the loose, gets head turns.

[PurpleKitty11]

i have experienced jealousy from other women first hand but it never had anything to do with men

[Wildcat Diva]

After a certain length, the negative comments will turn into expressions of bewilderment. ;)
Ed

Looking forward to figuring out what that length will be on hubby.

I have noticed that the beard comments are more harsh than the hair comments. Many men (friends) say to me about him in his presence, "why don't you make him shave that sh$t off?!" But men can be a little harsh so we try not to get all butt hurt about it. Husband did say a couple of years ago that one of the ladies who work with him as the hospital where he works did ask to pet his beard, which I though was a little odd, but she was an older, sweet lady and not someone I saw as wanting to intimately touch "my old man" but I was still a little "say what?!?" about it.

He does get a beard trim once every few weeks. Drives into the city for a pampering self care day. :)

[genlilliana]

I'm not sure that I've experienced jealousy from other women...that I've noticed. I do notice that I get more attention when my hair is long. I always assumed it's because I can do so many fun things with it when it's long. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that some of you have faced jealousy...we women can be wicked!

[Complexity]

I live in the boonies and work from home, so my interaction with people is very minimal. If there is any sort of 'jealousy' happening on the few occasions I do go out, I don't notice it (I've always been one to not care what others think anyway, so maybe I just don't notice).

[mermaiden_hair]

My youngest aunt just came over to visit, and she commented on my bun. "Oh my God look at that, such a cute bun! You should do braids, braids are so in right now", and then she made gestures like a crown braid, "like that all over". It was so much fun! :D

I seriously want to make my own crown braid, but my hair is still a bit on the shorter side to pull it off. The worst part is when you have very short layers throughout and you run out of pieces of hair to properly finish a braid, you know? Ugh. :rolling:

[lapushka]

I seriously want to make my own crown braid, but my hair is still a bit on the shorter side to pull it off. The worst part is when you have very short layers throughout and you run out of pieces of hair to properly finish a braid, you know? Ugh. :rolling:

I have layers in my hair, so... meh, I don't know. My hair is 1.5 inches past classic right now and my shortest layer is about BSL. Not even gonna try. :)

[mermaiden_hair]

I have layers in my hair, so... meh, I don't know. My hair is 1.5 inches past classic right now and my shortest layer is about BSL. Not even gonna try. :)

I got a long way to go, girl! ;)

[meteor]

I seriously want to make my own crown braid, but my hair is still a bit on the shorter side to pull it off. The worst part is when you have very short layers throughout and you run out of pieces of hair to properly finish a braid, you know? Ugh. :rolling:


I got a long way to go, girl! ;)

I think some crown braids might be possible on collarbone length with layers ;) , depending on which sections you start with, size of sections and braiding technique you use... Try searching for "crown braids on short hair" on YouTube. :) Here is an example that I think might work well (Rope Twist Crown Braid by LilithMoon): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPHEzUr5bWQ

[Five of Five]

A tad off topic, Mermaiden_Hair, but from your description of your workplace, I think it is likely that your boss was trying to put her best foot forward soon after you were hired and then relaxed a little once you were secured. Many people do this, because it is difficult to be kind all the time in a stressful environment, but bosses tend to be worse in my experience.

Good thing you are taking steps to remedy this unfair situation!

[fiðrildi]

I've never experienced jealousy from or towards other people, regarding hair length (at least, none that I know of). I do get admiration comments and compliments sometimes (from women and men), that have been always positive and sincere. Envy is something I have experienced very few times, and it was never related to physical appearance.

I'm sure that hair length has nothing to do with people treating me one way or another.

[wispywinnie]

So I live on a college campus and I have completely noticed the difference in the way that guys look at me. Right now, long hair is portrayed in the media as a source of beauty, sexiness, and the ultimate form of femininity, which really contributes to the focus of the (young) male gaze. I feel like I'm seeing even more of this because I'm involved in Greek Life (*** to any other Alpha Epsilon Phis out there!), and as much as people say that no one recruits based on looks, there are way way way more long-haired girls in sororities here (across the board, not just in one sorority) than short-haired girls.

[DarkChocolate]

I have never experienced jealousy myself but I swear that hosts of makeover talk shows give the shortest and sometimes ugliest haircuts to the long haired women that come on.

[Ellethwyn]

My mother acts like she doesn't like my hair, but whenever we're together and someone (like a coworker of hers) compliments me on my hair, she says "Oh I know, I'm so jealous." She says it in a kind of sarcastic way... so maybe I think she doesn't like my hair because really she is jealous.

[Chromis]

I think the sort of jealousy people are noticing might be coming from people who would have found something else to sneer about if it wasn't hair. Some people are just like that. There is a difference between admiring envy sort of jealous ie: "Ooooh, you always have such great hair, I am soooo jealous!" someone giving you the stinkeye and being jerkfaces. I find with them it is not about the hair or the clothing, it is more about them thinking they need to "knock you down a peg" because they think you are somehow acting/looking better than them.

Just go on being fabulous!

[PixieP]

I'm fat and ugly, so the length of my hair is irrelevant when it comes to attention or jealousy; for some reason my husband likes me luckily :P But I don't get any attention from other men, which suits me just fine. And there's nothing about me to be jealous about, when it comes to outer looks.

[fiðrildi]

PixieP, are you serious? You are BEAUTIFUL. :thud:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I'm fat and ugly, so the length of my hair is irrelevant when it comes to attention or jealousy; for some reason my husband likes me luckily :P But I don't get any attention from other men, which suits me just fine. And there's nothing about me to be jealous about, when it comes to outer looks.

Fat and ugly? Are you kidding? I hope you are, just look at that lovely face there in your siggy pic - you are gorgeous, and don't tell yourself otherwise. Fat and ugly, indeed - sheesh.....I would sure be happy to look like you!

[Cg]

I'm fat and ugly, so the length of my hair is irrelevant when it comes to attention or jealousy; for some reason my husband likes me luckily :P But I don't get any attention from other men, which suits me just fine. And there's nothing about me to be jealous about, when it comes to outer looks.

I don't know what your standard is, but by mine you are a beauty.

[Complexity]

I'm fat and ugly

This is what's wrong with our society. Why can't everyone just accept that they're stunningly beautiful?

[Adorkable One]

This is what's wrong with our society. Why can't everyone just accept that they're stunningly beautiful?

Personally, I think what's wrong with society is we put too much value into being beautiful. Your worth isn't measured in whether or not you're visually appealing. So part of me cringes at the fact that EVERYONE has to be called beautiful. Some people are more lucky than others. It's a part of life. What makes you special is the fact that you're a dynamic human being that is more than just a pretty face.

[Complexity]

Beauty doesn't have to have anything at all to do with looks.

[Adorkable One]

Beauty doesn't have to have anything at all to do with looks.


True, but that's not always the implication. I think the term "beautiful" is used so flippantly these days. It's losing it's meaning. However you interpret the word "beautiful," or however it's meant to be used, whether you have beauty or not, doesn't dictate whether or not you have failed as a human.

[mz_butterfly]

I wonder if you are getting more attention from men because you feel more confident/prettier with longer hair, thus making you appear more open and desirable and confident and garnering more stares/glances?

It might not be that your hair is longer, but the fact that you feel better and when we feel better about ourselves we emit that energy.


As for the "jealousy" from your manager, I don't think that has anything to do with hair either. I think that sometimes people just get irritated with each other (especially co-workers) and you're just trying to find a reason as to why she appears to dislike you and the only difference you can see is your hair and you're blaming it on that. It's more like the manager just has a bad attitude, may be overworked, stressed and is short tempered and has nothing to do with your hair in any way.


Maybe these events are caused by the way you carry yourself in each given situation. As in, when you have short hair you don't feel as attractive or receptive and you aren't feeling that you are getting much attention. And when you have longer hair maybe you give off the vibe that you are less approachable to women friends?

That seems more likely than your manager hates you or is jealous of you because you have longer hair. And collarbone length doesn't really equate to long hair. I don't think that's it.

[Complexity]

True, but that's not always the implication. I think the term "beautiful" is used so flippantly these days. It's losing it's meaning. However you interpret the word "beautiful," or however it's meant to be used, whether you have beauty or not, doesn't dictate whether or not you have failed as a human.

Being that I think that everyone has beauty/is beautiful (and thus, no one is a 'failed human'), we're going to have to agree to disagree here.

[Adorkable One]

Being that I think that everyone has beauty/is beautiful (and thus, no one is a 'failed human'), we're going to have to agree to disagree here.


Fair enough. Maybe I'm biased because in my social circle, the people whom talk about everyone being beautiful, are also the first people who call other people monsters when they do something terrible or are part of a movement they don't like. Obviously I'm not saying you do this, as we don't know each other. Lol. Maybe you've seen examples of this though on facebook. I have friends that will say the worst possible things they can say about someone they don't like, and then the next day, make some generic statement about everyone being beautiful perfect people whom should never change anything about them.

I can think of plenty of people whom I would never call beautiful, either physically or personality wise. And that's fine. Everyone doesn't have to be beautiful. It's not that important.

[Ingrid]

Personally I've had the same amount of attention from the opposite sex and the same attitude from the same sex regardless of my hair length :shrug: I don't think people in general are as focused on hair as this community :lol:

[Horrorpops]

I don't think I've experienced this - I get along with women about the same amounts regardless of the length of my hair, and I get a similar amount of male attention regardless of hair length.

Maybe your boss is a bit crazy? Thats pretty weird to decide you don't like someone just because of their hair! Or maybe some else non-hair related has bothered her?

[littlestarface]

I still dont understand how it could be cuz of the hair:scratch: I mean did the men who hitted on you tell you something about your hair to make you think this is why? Did the lady say something nasty about your hair length? Has no one there seen hair below the ear?

[Seeshami]

Even as one of the mean girls I have found the longer my hair the more supportive and appreciative of my hair people are. I mean you really can't be jealous or envious of an alien monster from another dimension and planet roosting on my head and controlling my brain.

The naughty mess says, "everyone wants me what are you talking about?"

Oooookay delusional parasite

[Stepo_NiNha]

I'm fat and ugly, so the length of my hair is irrelevant when it comes to attention or jealousy; for some reason my husband likes me luckily :P But I don't get any attention from other men, which suits me just fine. And there's nothing about me to be jealous about, when it comes to outer looks.

From your pics in sig pic you don't look fat and ugly at all!

And your hair colour is just...stunning.

Still, as you say, as long as your husband loves you and you love yourself that's the most important thing; the other men are not important for that.

Hugs to you :)

[PixieP]

Thank you all, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make this thread about me! I appreciate your kinds words, I really do. But the pictures here are always carefully taken with flattering angles, perfect make-up and I only every post those I'm happy with. They do not reflect reality.

But this thread is not about me, so I'm sorry for taking it over like that :X Your concerns warm my heart though, so thank you.

[truepeacenik]

I say this not to be intentionally contrary, but to be informative. On numerous occasions IRL, women have very clearly told me, directly to my face, that they were jealous of my hair. The first few times it startled me so much I didn't know what to say / left me speechless. After that I've tried to be reassuring (that they too can have long hair if they are gentle with theirs and stay away from the scissors).

ETA: Also, at my last job, I was told by a guy (who worked on a different floor of the same building) that several women who worked on the same floor had told him they were jealous of my hair.

I blame not knowing what a word means.
Envious, covetous, desiring to have; are not jealousy.
In a society that cannot discern literal from figurative or eager from anxious, I do not assume people, especially friendly people, are truly jealous when they use the word.

Also, Diva, politics aside, in their day, both Castro-Ruiz and Guevara were striking and handsome men. Tell your hubby that.

[mermaiden_hair]

I wonder if you are getting more attention from men because you feel more confident/prettier with longer hair, thus making you appear more open and desirable and confident and garnering more stares/glances?

I swear to you, I act the same exact way no matter what hair length I happen to have. Nothing in my personality has changed. :o


It might not be that your hair is longer, but the fact that you feel better and when we feel better about ourselves we emit that energy.

And it is hard to know which comes first, the chicken (hair) or the egg (confidence)? Because surely there can be women out there with very short hair and still be very confident in themselves and women with long hair who are very insecure. But, I don't seem different in terms of confidence or sociability even if my hair changed, hence my confusion.


As for the "jealousy" from your manager, I don't think that has anything to do with hair either. I think that sometimes people just get irritated with each other (especially co-workers) and you're just trying to find a reason as to why she appears to dislike you and the only difference you can see is your hair and you're blaming it on that. It's more like the manager just has a bad attitude, may be overworked, stressed and is short tempered and has nothing to do with your hair in any way.

And I realize now what I've done and I want to apologize. I guess I did went overboard with that assumption. She gets along fine with other people, or so I think, its just me she suddenly has an issue with. I will try and be the bigger person and just do my work as best I could and not talk to her much anymore unless absolutely necessary.

I am going to bring treats to work in less than two weeks from now, so hopefully the pastries will soften her perception of me. ;)


Maybe these events are caused by the way you carry yourself in each given situation. As in, when you have short hair you don't feel as attractive or receptive and you aren't feeling that you are getting much attention. And when you have longer hair maybe you give off the vibe that you are less approachable to women friends?

I just don't know because like I said, I can be very social and friendly with my coworkers, managers, and clients, even with shorter hair or not feeling my absolute best. Its just, now that my hair is growing a bit longer, there is a slow change in the way people are behaving towards me that I've taken note of. It is like you said, that now that my hair is growing, I feel prettier, and other people notice this and are responding to it.

I will say this though: When I had really long hair in my first job, I wasn't a very friendly person at all. I was at that weird post-adolescent phase where I was still growing up and figuring out who I am in this world and I wasn't bubbly or social at all, and yet I still had weird men hit on me (many of them married with children to add insult to injury) as if I was being ultra receptive and flirty when I clearly wasn't. I mean, I literally maintained physical distance and didn't make a lot of eye contact, but... yeah. :(

That's why I am making a connection between hair length and how people treat you.


That seems more likely than your manager hates you or is jealous of you because you have longer hair. And collarbone length doesn't really equate to long hair. I don't think that's it.

Collarbone length is NOT long, you're right, but it is longer than my starting length, which was above my shoulders.

[gossamer]

I blame not knowing what a word means.
Envious, covetous, desiring to have; are not jealousy.
In a society that cannot discern literal from figurative or eager from anxious, I do not assume people, especially friendly people, are truly jealous when they use the word.


This is a really good point! I don't know if anyone's ever come out and directly said that they're jealous of my hair, but now I'm thinking about how I'd respond in a way to highlight the misuse of the word.

[chen bao jun]

This is one of the questions that the answer is actually not, yes, or no. but it DEPENDS.

It depends on a lot of things. It depends on who you hang around with. It depends on how attractive you otherwise are (and some people will always be more attractive by the standards of the society that they live in than other people. It's just that way). It depends on the situation you are in (other women are going to react differently in a club than they are going to in a grocery store). It depends on what age you are, to some extent (older women tend to be less jealous of of other women's looks than younger ones, though they can also react very badly if they are in a situation where they have something to protect, as in Marilyn Monroe walks into the room where they are all trying to be snuggly with their own husbands.)

How much you notice it depends on how you grew up (if you grew in a jealous, competitive atmosphere you will be hyper sensitized and even prone to imagine jealousy when it isn't there); how much you notice other people and how secure YOU are.

So, yes, people can be jealous of other people's hair. If its perceived as giving them a competitive advantage, which sometimes it does.

Also, in 9 cases out of 10, a woman who goes from a pixie to even ear length hair will generally notice an increase in attention to men. There will be now be a group of women (there have already been some) who will chime in and say, when they had a pixie they got so much male attention or met their husband or whatever, because there ARE some women who are that attractive/feminiine looking that it doesn't make a difference in that case. And if you CAN carry off a pixie and still look feminine and lovely (hello, Audrey Hepburn!) then you will get that much more notice, because it's rare. However 99% of women in a pixie are going to look, not so much masculine as they are going to look uninterested in men. Think: mom in mom-cut; nun; lesbian telegraphing that she's not in the running at all; and even woman who just had a bad breakup and is temporarily uninterested.

If you are trying to send a message to men that you are not interested, most of them will subconsciously accept it, and thus, not notice you. Why put themselves up for stress and rejection. UNLESS, you ARE that beautiful that they feel they just have to try (and look nice enough not to bite their heads off for trying).

By the way, you can send out exactly the same 'not-interested' vibes with really long hair, especially when it's pulled back tightly in a bun all the time, and then you will also get the non-attention. (YOu can also send out these vibes with your clothes, with a completely not smiling face, by pushing a baby carriage and having other toddlers pulling at you--all kinds of ways).

And yeah, if it's a change, if your female friend has been used to going around with you and either getting all the attention or else neither of you getting attention, she's probably going to start telling you out of the blue how much better you looked in the shorter hair.

[chen bao jun]

Also, Diva, politics aside, in their day, both Castro-Ruiz and Guevara were striking and handsome men. Tell your hubby that.

Yes, they were. And its about as germane to the conversation as the fact that Hitler had beautiful blue eyes and got mash notes from women all the time.

Guevara never got into power so the damage he did was limited, and as for Castro, we have yet to hear the extent as he still has Cuba pretty well sealed off. Although the 1950's refugees and the boat people can tell you something. However, people listen to them about as much as the Chinese who managed to escape Mao were listened to--they stereotype them as privileged people who deserved what they got. Not until we hear more about what happened to 'the people' will it be admitted what is going on--and by a certain element, who thinks in terms of theory rather than practice (that is, they think Marx sounds so fair and ignore the fact that more people have been killed, tortured and made to live in poverty and privation than under any other system ever), it won't be admitted even then.

[DaveDecker]

I blame not knowing what a word means.
Envious, covetous, desiring to have; are not jealousy.
In a society that cannot discern literal from figurative or eager from anxious, I do not assume people, especially friendly people, are truly jealous when they use the word...

Although these words (envious, covetous, desiring to have) may be more precisely accurate, the contextual Cambridge Dictionary definition of jealous is quite similar ("unhappy and slightly angry because you wish you had someone else’s qualities, advantages, or success").

On your general point I agree with you that choosing words carefully is very important, especially when the word used is quite different than the intent behind it. (I recently got tripped up on another person's word choice.)

[Ligeia Noire]

I work with women of all ages and they are not jealous and they don't really know how long it is because I never wear it down always in a braided bun, maybe in college there was some nasty looks of this one girl but I guess she just didn't like me, not just my hair but mostly people are always giggly around it and want to ask stuff and touch it. By all the comments on my channel and other social media I would be inclined to think men prefer women with long hair but I could be wrong. I am a hair lover myself and I love all lengths, colours and textures. Back to the subject, my grandmother from my dad's side and aunts hate it though, they were always very mean to me and always trying to make me cut it but I always made sure every single time we visited them to wear it down to tease them even more. I generally dress in black so they loved saying I looked like a widow and no man would want to date me... now I am almost 30 and married and my hair is way longer. Ah ah ah I have never really cared about their comments or jealousy, actually, it only made me laugh, my mom always had long hair, she is currently floor length she could be way longer but she trims it frequently, (my grandparents from her side loved my hair though) but it was always past classic I think it is mostly a social thing in my country, back in those days women did not cut their hair short mostly it had to be bsl otherwise you would look ugly even though her sisters never had long hair she always kept hers long and she has never wore it down, probably like once or twice when she was a teen... Anyway, don't know if it was seeing her luxurious hair that made me want to grow mine but I have never had a conscious feeling about it I just always had long hair most of my life and that is it but yeah I notice two factions of people, the random strangers and neighbours that love it and always want to see it down and some mean relatives and acquaintances that through direct remarks or around the bush ones want to make you feel like you look ugly, or old, or out of fashion or bla bla... some people actually give in to it, you can see in all these tv shows but thankfully it never rustled my feathers.

[humble_knight]

I work with women of all ages and they are not jealous and they don't really know how long it is because I never wear it down always in a braided bun, maybe in college there was some nasty looks of this one girl but I guess she just didn't like me, not just my hair but mostly people are always giggly around it and want to ask stuff and touch it. By all the comments on my channel and other social media I would be inclined to think men prefer women with long hair but I could be wrong. I am a hair lover myself and I love all lengths, colours and textures. Back to the subject, my grandmother from my dad's side and aunts hate it though, they were always very mean to me and always trying to make me cut it but I always made sure every single time we visited them to wear it down to tease them even more. I generally dress in black so they loved saying I looked like a widow and no man would want to date me... now I am almost 30 and married and my hair is way longer. Ah ah ah I have never really cared about their comments or jealousy, actually, it only made me laugh, my mom always had long hair, she is currently floor length she could be way longer but she trims it frequently, (my grandparents from her side loved my hair though) but it was always past classic I think it is mostly a social thing in my country, back in those days women did not cut their hair short mostly it had to be bsl otherwise you would look ugly even though her sisters never had long hair she always kept hers long and she has never wore it down, probably like once or twice when she was a teen... Anyway, don't know if it was seeing her luxurious hair that made me want to grow mine but I have never had a conscious feeling about it I just always had long hair most of my life and that is it but yeah I notice two factions of people, the random strangers and neighbours that love it and always want to see it down and some mean relatives and acquaintances that through direct remarks or around the bush ones want to make you feel like you look ugly, or old, or out of fashion or bla bla... some people actually give in to it, you can see in all these tv shows but thankfully it never rustled my feathers.


Floorlengther mum and kneelengther daughter are probably quite rare in today's world. Good for both of you and especially ignoring mean comments from other family members.

[ladyshep]

I don't know if people are jealous or not, I can't read people's minds.

But if I were to guess with the way some act, then probably. I find that woman are nicer to me when I have shorter hair. When it is the longer, the meaner. *shrugs*

As for guys and attention, no, I can't say one way or the other. I've always had a man's attention no matter the length of my hair, and I've even had a long pixie cut back 16 years ago during my salon days. One of my guy friends even said that he doesn't care the length of hair, he doesn't like too long, and he thinks certain "chicks" look hot with pixies--He said as long as they had "the other componentries LOL)

[Ligeia Noire]

a bit rare @humble knight yeah and thank you.

[trolleypup]

After a certain length, the negative comments will turn into expressions of bewilderment. ;)Ed
There is a lot of truth in this. Once you get far enough beyond people's experience, you become "Other" rather than different.

I say this not to be intentionally contrary, but to be informative. On numerous occasions IRL, women have very clearly told me, directly to my face, that they were jealous of my hair. The first few times it startled me so much I didn't know what to say / left me speechless. After that I've tried to be reassuring (that they too can have long hair if they are gentle with theirs and stay away from the scissors).

ETA: Also, at my last job, I was told by a guy (who worked on a different floor of the same building) that several women who worked on the same floor had told him they were jealous of my hair.
Yup. With every appearance of not saying it as a backhanded compliment, a veiled negative comment, or some sort of humor.

Personally I've had the same amount of attention from the opposite sex and the same attitude from the same sex regardless of my hair length :shrug: I don't think people in general are as focused on hair as this community :lol:
I'll go with more attention from both same and opposite sex...where I am, mostly positive, but unsolicited negative comments (again, either sex) are linked to visible long hair.

Also, in 9 cases out of 10, a woman who goes from a pixie to even ear length hair will generally notice an increase in attention to men. There will be now be a group of women (there have already been some) who will chime in and say, when they had a pixie they got so much male attention or met their husband or whatever, because there ARE some women who are that attractive/feminiine looking that it doesn't make a difference in that case. And if you CAN carry off a pixie and still look feminine and lovely (hello, Audrey Hepburn!) then you will get that much more notice, because it's rare. However 99% of women in a pixie are going to look, not so much masculine as they are going to look uninterested in men. Think: mom in mom-cut; nun; lesbian telegraphing that she's not in the running at all; and even woman who just had a bad breakup and is temporarily uninterested.

By the way, you can send out exactly the same 'not-interested' vibes with really long hair, especially when it's pulled back tightly in a bun all the time, and then you will also get the non-attention. (YOu can also send out these vibes with your clothes, with a completely not smiling face, by pushing a baby carriage and having other toddlers pulling at you--all kinds of ways).
Big difference between hair up and down, although, interestingly, slightly unkempt is more attention catching than preened.

Although these words (envious, covetous, desiring to have) may be more precisely accurate, the contextual Cambridge Dictionary definition of jealous is quite similar ("unhappy and slightly angry because you wish you had someone else’s qualities, advantages, or success").

On your general point I agree with you that choosing words carefully is very important, especially when the word used is quite different than the intent behind it. (I recently got tripped up on another person's word choice.)
Words matter!

[Wildcat Diva]

I blame not knowing what a word means.
Envious, covetous, desiring to have; are not jealousy.
In a society that cannot discern literal from figurative or eager from anxious, I do not assume people, especially friendly people, are truly jealous when they use the word.

Also, Diva, politics aside, in their day, both Castro-Ruiz and Guevara were striking and handsome men. Tell your hubby that.


Hahahaha! Ok. I'll let him know.
He knows that he needs to keep at minimum a mustache and some sort of beard. The face looks best that way, and with no facial hair, he just looks naked and weird. One time, since I met him in 1993, he shaved for our Halloween costumes (Mickey and Mallory Knox from Natural Born Killers). Never Again. It was so weird.
He doesn't seem to mind the negative comments. He had long hair before and is used to being "very metal" also, so he doesn't care.

He works for the State of Texas Medical Branch, so as a state employee, he can grow his hair long and beard long without any dress code concerns at work.

:D

[missmex]

Where I'm from people have no problem letting you know that they love or hate your hair. When they're jealous, they encourage you to cut it (unless it's Grams) while if it's short, people pay NO mind to your hair. Men DO notice me more (ask to dance, try to ask me out) with waist-length hair, but above BSL gets no attention from men for me :)

[vega]

I disagree with this some people just think long hair is gross not everyone appreciates long hair like us

[Bergelmir]

I'm not sure if there is jealous people when it comes to my sheer hair length because i think about 99% of the people i meet simply don't care at all. Maybe some women naturally could feel jealousy but the issue is that i rarely ever meet women outside of family and the few i meet are in a pretty advanced mental shape who naturally have other stuff in mind. Sure, they enjoy it when my hair is advancing but i think they have another view of me and they see me as a natural part of themself, simply something that is not attached but still in a deep harmony and they simply enjoy the way i am.

Most of them may even see it as something ugly and unfitting on a male, so i guess i have a natural "protection" against jelaousy. On the other hand i could be terribly wrong because i have no clue how female may think about me. At least i am pretty sure that most of the male don't care because it doesn't fit their mentality.

Certainly, in my country it is very rare that a male is having long hair, it doesn't fit our culture but i really could care less and i even know another male with currently even longer hair than me (but only one), of course i will outgrow him this is clear. It surely is not a advantage in general but i do follow my heart and i just love it this way, i could not live anymore without a big bunch of hair surrounding me.

I was thinking a bit about the terminology and the outcome of my personal view is like this:
Envious: Related to a matter (objective, general)
Jealous: Related to affection (subjective, personal)
Desire: Related to competition (equality, safeguarding)
Covetous: Related to feelings (greed, demand)

But definitely, words do matter. Those words got a different pitch which is basically hinting toward a different undertone.

[ladyshep]

When I had knee length hair, a lot of people did not like it at all, even men. I noticed that people had a hard time relating to me. I honestly didn't care for the extreme length either, which is all that matters to me. That is why I am only going to grow to hip length hair this time and maintain, I feel people can relate to me better without the extreme hair. But I don't feel anyone was envious when it was that long, but maybe when it was about bsl and hip.

[gregh]

The people that I know are jealous are some of my friends who have lost their hair, but they aren't jealous of the length. Otherwise I get a good number backhanded compliments and actual compliments, though I wouldn't say in my experience jealousy is a motivator.

[turtlelover]

I've certainly liked other people's hair, but I'm not sure that I would have qualified as "jealous" with that. Mostly, I have just thought it looks nice and wished that I could braid it or play with it if they are into that! When I think of jealousy, I think of negative feelings towards someone because they have something that I don't, and I'm not sure I've really had that. I've had people tell me they are jealous of my hair, but I don't think they meant that in a negative way -- I think it was more of a compliment. It isn't long enough to look that unusual at just about BSL and it isn't as if I'm trying to attract attention with it, though if someone likes it that is nice and encouraging.

[Vanilla Mint]

In general, heterosexual men prefer longer hair on women. That's honestly just how it is--it's how they've been conditioned to feel, so it is difficult to know whether that would have been their own preference without having been exposed to stereotypical ideals of feminine beauty. That being said, I feel like people (men included) who like shorter hair, REALLY like shorter hair. I know some people (women, men, non-binary) who think pixies are just the hottest thing a person can rock, and the same thing with bobs, and so on.

So, yeah, while I definitely notice that I get more attention from men with long hair (also: red hair), it really is "different strokes for different folks". The only times I have ever noticed (or perceived) jealousy from women about my hair being long (when it was hip-length, currently growing back!), it seemed that they resented me getting attention for my hair more so than then really coveting the length. I definitely don't think as many people envy long hair as much as people on this board seem to believe.

[MINAKO]

I don't really consider myself a person to pay that much attention to peoples reactions and would most likely not notice jealously as such because hardly anybody would confront me about my hair to my face. I do get stupid wurstions about handling sometimes as well as the assumption that i must be wearing extensions.
When it comes to men i think it makes for alot more attention and attempts to flirt when my hair is down. Most of the time i find it painfully annoying and prefer to keep my bun for that reason alone. Its so sleek from the front i might as well have a crew cut if you look from a distance. Hair down means flower in full bloom, alone the additional movement can make a big difference i guess. Even if i plan on straightening it to wear it down for an event, most of the time i end up not doing so. Probably a stupid comparison but i'd feel it would be less intimate to wear a see through top with nothing underneath in a crowd than my hair down, although i'm technically more covered then. However it doesn't protect me from anything.

[chen bao jun]

Probably a stupid comparison but i'd feel it would be less intimate to wear a see through top with nothing underneath in a crowd than my hair down, although i'm technically more covered then. However it doesn't protect me from anything.

Noo--it's not a stupid comparison, it's a funny comparison.
But actually, boobs trump hair. If you wear your hair down, you get lots of male attention--if you wear a see through top with nothing underneath in a crowd of men, you will cause a riot.
This is partly because no man on earth can think anything other than that you are seriously seeking their attention when undressed like that--and partly because they are just wired that way.

Women actually know this, although programmed with political correctness so that they don't like to say so nowadays. But look around you. Women with very short haircuts who still want male attention tend to wear much more figure clothes, low cut necklines (plus large, obviously feminine earrings and other such signifiers).

The exception would be those groups of people where the hair is shorter (from fragility and poor hair care practices). Hair would not be a traditional way to mark hair male from female among them. I was interested to talk to a woman from cote d'ivoire once (this was only a couple of years ago), who was showing pictures of home, the traditional (less Europeanized) part of the country. The young, unmarried girls (all with very short hair, not distinguishable from the boys hair) were all walking around in the photos bare breasted, which is the tradition. When a friend who was with me asked outright, Why are all the girls naked like that?

The Ivoirienne looked startled at the question and said, Well, they want to get married, don't they? (the married women all put on tops there.)

They will definitely get married.

That would not be the result in our culture, but as I said, bare-breasted women, male attention--
No amount of social conditioning or change in fashion is going to change that.

[MINAKO]

Chen yes it's very much like you said, the markers that "call for" male attention might be of different importance depending on cultural context and personal preference but overall pretty much the same and flaumting them has an iverall similar effect. For me i choose to say breasts cause that's usually the last thing people would look at on me. I'm not completely flat but flat enough to be conditioned into thinking that all the other markers are in a much higher level of impotance when it comes to myself. I literally never had an akward boob staring moment with a guy but the seem to be uite mesmerized by the hair when it's down and i iften wish the dudes who take action would just leave me alone. I'm introvert and automatically percieve hair down as an invitation for people to invade my bubble now. So i usually keep it up to prevent that.

[LadyCelestina]

Hair would not be a traditional way to mark hair male from female among them.

This is where I get confused. I acknowledge that short hair on a woman is considered less feminine and I too consider it less feminine.
I acknowledge that short hair on a man is considered more masculine and I can see reasons why, but I simply cannot bring myself to stop seeing long hair on men as more masculine than short. Short hair just seems kind of too... boy-ish?

Thinking about it this is probably how people who prefer short hair on women (or men, whatever) feel as well.

Also Chen I really like that you can speak about the differences between men and women in a 'normal' way, I mean, not forcing the notion that the genders are exactly the same in everything or what :flower:.

[littlestarface]

This is where I get confused. I acknowledge that short hair on a woman is considered less feminine and I too consider it less feminine.
I acknowledge that short hair on a man is considered more masculine and I can see reasons why, but I simply cannot bring myself to stop seeing long hair on men as more masculine than short. Short hair just seems kind of too... boy-ish?

Thinking about it this is probably how people who prefer short hair on women (or men, whatever) feel as well.

Also Chen I really like that you can speak about the differences between men and women in a 'normal' way, I mean, not forcing the notion that the genders are exactly the same in everything or what :flower:.

For me shoulder length hair and stubble on a man is o so manly rather then a super short cut. I dunno why.

[Wildcat Diva]

This is where I get confused. I acknowledge that short hair on a woman is considered less feminine and I too consider it less feminine.
I acknowledge that short hair on a man is considered more masculine and I can see reasons why, but I simply cannot bring myself to stop seeing long hair on men as more masculine than short. Short hair just seems kind of too... boy-ish?

Thinking about it this is probably how people who prefer short hair on women (or men, whatever) feel as well.

Also Chen I really like that you can speak about the differences between men and women in a 'normal' way, I mean, not forcing the notion that the genders are exactly the same in everything or what :flower:.


Have you been watching "Vikings" and that is why long hair on men seems masculine?!? Lol, the shieldmaidens are warriors too and have long hair, ah well.

[Hairkay]

I guess I don't have ideas of long hair being feminine or short hair being masculine despite knowing many males wear their hair short and many women who are able to grow their hair longer do so. When I was a teen there was this girl at school who kept her hair cropped to a twa. She was tall, long neck and beautiful. I don't see how anyone would mistake her for anything else but female. Her mother was even more stunning and she also wore her hair in a twa. There was another girl with equally short hair but hers was very fine and delicate. Hers would be quite a struggle to grow out.

[LadyCelestina]

Have you been watching "Vikings" and that is why long hair on men seems masculine?!? Lol, the shieldmaidens are warriors too and have long hair, ah well.

:eyebrows: the other way around

but honestly when they cut Rollo's hair I was like NOOOO cutting your hair to please your partner is never good! :shake: plus you looked better before But then 2 episodes later they kind of learned to style it a bit better :D

[MidnightMoon]

I dont think any person whose hair naturally could grow long has been jealous of my hair for being longer. They could have it long. It would even be thicker and perhaps look better for being light...they choose to cut and style to look more modern or fashionable. The only people I have ever felt might be "jealous" are people of afro descent. Many wear extensions or wigs or have made the remark of how long it is and that theirs doesnt grow. Im NOT saying all POC are jealous of long hair, Im saying the people I have encountered that seem to be have been POC whose hair apparently doesnt grow that much and they actually want it long.

[ladyshep]

I'll admit, I get envious of long hair, I even did when I had really long hair myself. I don't know why that is...It's not like I am insecure or anything either...

[01]

People stare and/or hit me more when my hair are either in good condition (that's actually when they're at bob length!) or in fancy hairstyle or accessorized (stick bun or if I put feathers in my hair or cool summer hat, etc). When I have somewhat long but damaged hair no one really pays attention. But when I had my signature damaged puffy classic length hair people were often talking about my hair... some were saying it's cool, others that it's pointless to have long hair that looks like that. So yeah, some very mean comments. Dunno if jealous or just honestly annoyed by my hairs' ugliness (well... they WERE ugly at classic, I do agree) or both. I have some trouble with making my hair look good at that length already (mid back) so I try hard to learn hairstyles since then I don't look lame o_O. I think jealousy thing is more about good looks, not length itself. Good looks may mean different things to different people so your mileage may vary.

[adrenaline]

I never noticed people (women) regard me with envy about my hair. Actually I don't get any comments about it, neither positive nor negative :cool: (don't know if i should be happy or not ^^) ... I can imagine that men change their behavior in the presence of women with long hair, but there are also men with other preferences. I know someone who prefers short hair on woman, and all of his girlfriends had no longer hair than shoulder length. I would say the envy depends also on the condition of the hair, not only the length. I wouldn't be jealous if the hair is really damaged, with frizz etc., but I get sometimes jealous when I see women with silky beautiful and THICK long hair, straight and wavy. I never got to know a woman with dreamlike long hair, but I hope I would not treat her any different than I treat other people.

[rhyebud]

I find this thread very interesting because I have had the opposite experience. When I have short hair -- and I mean hair so short it's impossible to ponytail -- I will get some compliments (more from men than women). But when I have long hair, people really like to give me their opinion. Women usually compliment my hair and ask me what I do to keep it so beautiful. I have been around jealous women obviously, but I didn't think of any their jealousy stemmed from my hair. Men, on the other hand, are always telling me to cut it. Multiple men!. It's so weird. They will make jokes about cutting it when I'm not looking, or simply say, "I think it's time to cut your hair." I totally don't get it. I don't really appreciate it either!

[languagenut]

I find this thread very interesting because I have had the opposite experience. When I have short hair -- and I mean hair so short it's impossible to ponytail -- I will get some compliments (more from men than women). But when I have long hair, people really like to give me their opinion. Women usually compliment my hair and ask me what I do to keep it so beautiful. I have been around jealous women obviously, but I didn't think of any their jealousy stemmed from my hair. Men, on the other hand, are always telling me to cut it. Multiple men!. It's so weird. They will make jokes about cutting it when I'm not looking, or simply say, "I think it's time to cut your hair." I totally don't get it. I don't really appreciate it either!

Ha, I wouldn't appreciate it either! Interestingly, the only person who has ever told me I should cut my hair was a guy. Finally he got the message that I didn't want his opinion — he never talks to me anymore. Which is totally fine with me! :laugh:

But nobody else, that I remember, whether random strangers or people I know, have said that, only the usual "Are you growing it for Locks of Love?" comments, and when I say "Not right now; I just like long hair" they usually leave me alone.

I'm not aware of anyone being jealous of my hair, I get compliments sometimes but nothing I'd attribute to jealousy or envy or coveting or that sort of thing.

[Qz]

Here's a link to some ironic hair envy for you... I have a ways to go to catch up with old Willie.

https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13133398_865983143528714_2058404481047010623_n.jpg ?oh=6d018c187838162116851ad477f67995&oe=579FAD71