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View Full Version : Growing pains - closer I get to goal, more hair looks like it's in transition stage



school of fish
May 12th, 2016, 05:58 AM
I just need to vent a little ;)

A bit of backstory: I've pretty much reached my goal length of tailbone (I'm there when my hair's wet) and while I'm very pleased about that, my real goal is restoring my hemline thickness after some non-benign neglect incured a lot of damage, breakage and a drastically thinned-out hemline. That damaged state had crept up over a long period of time, and it had gotten pretty bad before I noticed what had happened.

Over the last 2+ years as I've learned my hair and developed a stellar routine the improvement has been astronomical. Monthly microtrimming has been one of the keys to the success - I've been doing it faithfully for almost 2-1/2 years now. My hair health has visibly improved, my hem thickness is steadily moving downward, my ends are becoming more even and blunt (which I like) with each trim.

Here's the thing - when it was tapered out from damage, it may not have looked the way I wanted but it *did* look like intentional layers, I'll give it that ;) But now that the bulk of the thickness has traveled down to about mid-back, by contrast that density is making the ends *look* thinner... and because the hemline is now very visually blunt the taper no longer looks either natural or styled - it just rather looks like damaged ends, haha!

It feels rather ironic to me that my very healthy hair is appearing to the non-LHC eye that I've got a lot of damage going on. It feels strange to me that as I get closer to my end goal I feel like my hair is looking worse, not better. I can see that this effect is only going to increase as I get closer to my hem goal - it's the contrast in thickness between the upper and lower sections that's highlighting the effect.

I have days where I'm tempted to chop it to mid-back where the fullness is, but I won't :) I'll stay the course and practice the same patience that has granted me the gains I've seen thus far... I just needed to vent ;)

It really is a long game, isn't it? :)

Horrorpops
May 12th, 2016, 06:06 AM
Firstly, your hair in your signature looks AMAZING! Not a thin end in sight :thud:

But yes that's it, sometimes you have to play the long game! :o It's tricky, because I got to this stage with my bleached ends and I cut them all off. This was hard that I went from nearly waist to BSL (lost about 6") but it was worth it for me.

However given a year or so with microtrimming your layers will all be to TBL and that isn't so far away. Especially when your hair looks so fabulous now!

school of fish
May 12th, 2016, 06:23 AM
Firstly, your hair in your signature looks AMAZING! Not a thin end in sight :thud:

But yes that's it, sometimes you have to play the long game! :o It's tricky, because I got to this stage with my bleached ends and I cut them all off. This was hard that I went from nearly waist to BSL (lost about 6") but it was worth it for me.

However given a year or so with microtrimming your layers will all be to TBL and that isn't so far away. Especially when your hair looks so fabulous now!

Aw, thanks Horrorpops! That's my first thud, haha! Thank you so much for that :D

My siggy pic shows my hair on its best behaviour ;) It's from about November last year, and I had TangleTeezed it into submission :p On a day-to-day basis though the look is, shall we say, more realistic. As the ends move about and clump up a bit and the flyaways fly away, the whole thing looks more beachy and messy and like it really wants for more TangleTeezing...

I guess I'm just feeling greedy - the more improvement you see the more you want, right? Thanks for the chin up! :D

Stepo_NiNha
May 12th, 2016, 06:44 AM
It's already said but yeah from your pic I can't see any thin end... Amazing hair only! :flower:

You know, I'm dealing with the same problem! But I'm still WL and I still have a long way because my goal is TBL.

I know my hair is healthier and healthier but the more I see thickness traveling downwards the more "damaged" ends I notice. And I know it is not damage, I have almost no splits by now but I see the huge contrast between the taper and thick part.

Don't CHOP!! You have awesome hair!

Just keep your hair up for some more months until the thickness is almost "complete" so that you can keep the eye out of your hair. And yes, You've made an effort to have the hair you have now, so don't lose the patience :)

Hugs to you:blossom:

school of fish
May 12th, 2016, 06:57 AM
It's already said but yeah from your pic I can't see any thin end... Amazing hair only! :flower:

You know, I'm dealing with the same problem! But I'm still WL and I still have a long way because my goal is TBL.

I know my hair is healthier and healthier but the more I see thickness traveling downwards the more "damaged" ends I notice. And I know it is not damage, I have almost no splits by now but I see the huge contrast between the taper and thick part.

Don't CHOP!! You have awesome hair!

Just keep your hair up for some more months until the thickness is almost "complete" so that you can keep the eye out of your hair. And yes, You've made an effort to have the hair you have now, so don't lose the patience :)

Hugs to you:blossom:

Exactly! It's the disparity between the thicker and thinner sections that seems to amplify the further along the journey you go! You know whereof I speak, hahaha!!

I'm probably feeling it all the more because I'm one of those ones who wears her hair down most of the time :) Don't worry, I won't chop! I may take a bit of a larger amount off of one my scheduled trims this year, like say an inch or inch and a half, but I won't go more than that. I'm too jealous of my own length to cut any more than that ;)

Thanks for the support, I'm right there with you! We'll both get there :D

lapushka
May 12th, 2016, 07:29 AM
Maybe it's getting a little too long for your liking? Maybe it's the new length, and the fact that you reached your goal. In any case, when you feel like you want to chop a whole lot off, start with an inch. An inch, you'd be surprised, is a lot!

I also don't see anything wrong with your hem. :)

Oh, and congrats on TBL! :cheer:

Stepo_NiNha
May 12th, 2016, 08:18 AM
Exactly! It's the disparity between the thicker and thinner sections that seems to amplify the further along the journey you go! You know whereof I speak, hahaha!!

I'm probably feeling it all the more because I'm one of those ones who wears her hair down most of the time :) Don't worry, I won't chop! I may take a bit of a larger amount off of one my scheduled trims this year, like say an inch or inch and a half, but I won't go more than that. I'm too jealous of my own length to cut any more than that ;)

Thanks for the support, I'm right there with you! We'll both get there :D

Yes, we'll both get there! :o

school of fish
May 12th, 2016, 08:25 AM
Maybe it's getting a little too long for your liking? Maybe it's the new length, and the fact that you reached your goal. In any case, when you feel like you want to chop a whole lot off, start with an inch. An inch, you'd be surprised, is a lot!

I also don't see anything wrong with your hem. :)

Oh, and congrats on TBL! :cheer:

Thanks lapushka!! :D

I think you're right about perspective changing once you've reached a length goal. And I definitely know that TBL is my maximum - I won't be growing any further than that... so I guess that leaves me obsessing about the hem goal ;)

I do believe in the power of the occasional mini-chop amidst microtrims, and the last one I did was 1-1/2" last Aug. That did wonders for my hemline back then, so yes I think I'm due for another, just trying to decide whether to do it in June or in Dec... perhaps my feeling this way is the sign that it should be June ;)

In the meantime I've found a good way for me to satisfy the scissor-happy urge - microtrimming my bangs every 2 weeks. That keeps them at the length they need to be, and helps me hold my patience throughout the month as I await my trim day ;)

lapushka
May 12th, 2016, 09:03 AM
I do believe in the power of the occasional mini-chop amidst microtrims, and the last one I did was 1-1/2" last Aug. That did wonders for my hemline back then, so yes I think I'm due for another, just trying to decide whether to do it in June or in Dec... perhaps my feeling this way is the sign that it should be June ;)

In the meantime I've found a good way for me to satisfy the scissor-happy urge - microtrimming my bangs every 2 weeks. That keeps them at the length they need to be, and helps me hold my patience throughout the month as I await my trim day ;)

Oh, I'm due for a trim as well. I think I'm about 1.5 inches over classic again, and that's where it gets more and more uncomfortable for me. So... yeah. We'll see. I can still cope for the time being, but it's nice not to have to worry over tiny trims and to have a bigger one to focus on.

Nimia
May 12th, 2016, 09:19 AM
I hear and second your vent! I'm dealing with the same thing right now, glaring at the bottom 12" of my hair and wondering how much I can bear to cut off. It's both the thickness, and the texture: the healthy hair has a lot of natural wave, but the damaged hair is so thrashed that it's perfectly straight. There's an obvious texture demarkation line where I stopped the dyeing/bleach and found the LHC. When wearing my hair down, if I want it to look sane I either have to blow dry it all straight (which happens maybe 3 times a year) or use curlers on the ends.

So, argh! I feel your pain.

CoveredByLove
May 12th, 2016, 10:39 AM
My hair has gone through many phases, SchoolofFish. Sometimes it does look worse right before it gets better. I hope you take encouragement in that. :blossom: Your hair truly looks great as is! Sometimes, we are so focused on it, and worry others notice it too. In reality, most people are just amazed at your healthy length to notice any "thin ends". Regardless, it how YOU feel about your hair that really matters.

LongCurlyTress
May 12th, 2016, 12:40 PM
I am in a very similar situation as you are as I just also reached TBL recently. The last 2-3 inches of my hemline are leftover layers that are still growing out which is so tempting to just do a big chop to get rid of those layers, but there are no guarantees that a big chop of 2-3 inches to even out the hemline will mean that the new growth will grow down nice and thick and evenly....so.. I just put it up in a bun and try to not wear it down so it doesn't drive me to the scissors. My 1st goal for now is classic and with all my trimming an inch as needed, I know I won't grow there until at least 2018... so... I am just trying to not use heat on it, and damp bun it... If I wear it down, it goes into a half up to calm down the thickness. Anyways, I just wanted to commiserate with you that we are in a very similar situation. Good luck!! Btw, your avatar and siggy pics are lovely. :blossom:

Arctic
May 12th, 2016, 12:47 PM
Waver not, my brave micro-trimming friend! You'll get to both of your goals sooner than you'd ever think! :cheer:

Anje
May 12th, 2016, 01:26 PM
I'm much more of a mini-chopper than a microtrimmer, and I do think it's great for thickening a hemline and getting things looking more "polished" for the eyes of the non-hair-obsessed in a hurry. Getting to a goal length frequently isn't the point at which you're happy with the appearance, because just a few hairs are there at the beginning. It's totally normal for it to be anticlimactic.

Grow a bit past goal, chop it back to where you want it. Rinse, repeat. Celebrate. :)

school of fish
May 12th, 2016, 03:46 PM
Awwww, thanks for the support guys! I know there are far greater struggles than mine, but I also knew you all would understand... ;)

Deborah
May 12th, 2016, 08:43 PM
If it were me I would trim off an inch or two. The length won't look much different, but the hemline will be much thicker, and I think you would feel better about your ends.

LongCurlyTress
May 13th, 2016, 09:46 AM
I think it all depends on if you wear your hair up mostly. Then the ends really don't matter what they look like as long as they are healthy and oiled up and not split. ;) I wear my hair up everyday so I don't think about it or play with the ends...I plan on trimming the last of the layers out and maintaining once I reach classic but that won't be for at least a year+... The ends are uneven, but not split due to oiling the ends before damp bunning everyday...so I am just going to continue growing and trying my best not to trim until the tangles drive me nuts on the hemline, and then my experience has been that an inch takes care of those tangles. I am hoping this continues... Good luck!! :happydance:

Vanilla
May 13th, 2016, 12:34 PM
I totally get this. I feel more self conscious about my ends as my taper is starting to show more and more. The way that I've been coping with it is to wear it up or do braid waves with a paranda if I want to wear it down. Now that I've been one length for a long time, the taper is way more noticeable than when I had layers.

I've stopped microtrimming for a little bit but will likely resume as I get closer to classic.

Salwety
May 14th, 2016, 02:14 AM
I am transitioning from protien treatment, and I am still at APL length. Each 2 or 3 months I do a mini trim.
This way it is taking me forever to reach BSL, but I know that when I reach it my hair willbe healthy and in one texture.
I face a lot of stress times because of how my hair looks. The difference between 3b and straightened hair is sooooo annoying. I found that distracting myself with other life goal - now I try to declutter and keep my home tidy most of the time and healthy diet involving cooking new recipes- and bunning are of great help.
Till we reach our goals ... happy growing every body.

lapushka
May 14th, 2016, 07:37 AM
I am transitioning from protien treatment, and I am still at APL length. Each 2 or 3 months I do a mini trim.
This way it is taking me forever to reach BSL, but I know that when I reach it my hair willbe healthy and in one texture.
I face a lot of stress times because of how my hair looks. The difference between 3b and straightened hair is sooooo annoying. I found that distracting myself with other life goal - now I try to declutter and keep my home tidy most of the time and healthy diet involving cooking new recipes- and bunning are of great help.
Till we reach our goals ... happy growing every body.

You mean you are transitioning from a relaxer? I don't get what "protein treatment" means in this context. Seems like you mean it's something permanent and regular protein treatments never are. May be a language barrier thing.

Arctic
May 14th, 2016, 08:07 AM
You mean you are transitioning from a relaxer? I don't get what "protein treatment" means in this context. Seems like you mean it's something permanent and regular protein treatments never are. May be a language barrier thing.

Keratin straightening

Salwety
May 15th, 2016, 12:59 AM
Yes Arctic keratin straightening :)

Arctic
May 15th, 2016, 01:38 AM
Yes Arctic keratin straightening :)

:thumbsup:

Does your straightened hair hold any curl, if your use some overnight heatless curling methods, for example? If it would, you could fake a more uniform texture. But your current approach is the best when it comes to anything hair related: trying to busy your time and mind with other things. That's proven to work and suddenly the hair will be quite a bit longer!

Upside Down
May 15th, 2016, 04:16 AM
I'm much more of a mini-chopper than a microtrimmer, and I do think it's great for thickening a hemline and getting things looking more "polished" for the eyes of the non-hair-obsessed in a hurry. Getting to a goal length frequently isn't the point at which you're happy with the appearance, because just a few hairs are there at the beginning. It's totally normal for it to be anticlimactic.

Grow a bit past goal, chop it back to where you want it. Rinse, repeat. Celebrate. :)

Definetly. I too prefer mini chops of an inch or two on occasion.

I have been at waust for quite a while and only now am I beginning to be happy with my ends. Postpartum shed set me back a lot.

In the end, it really isn't about lenght. It is about being happy with your hair.

lapushka
May 15th, 2016, 04:43 AM
Ah OK, I'm back on track. :lol: I was confused there for a minute. :)