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Urchin
March 21st, 2008, 11:38 AM
Hey all.

I was wondering if anyone else is deathly afraid of shedding when a significant other runs his or her hands through your hair? I'm having this problem. Anytime I feel a cuddle pull a hair or two, I get afraid that it's all going to get pulled out. Anyone else feel that way? Suggestions for how to remedy this? I will braid my hair once it's long enough, but it's too short now. Advice?

Thanks!

basak
March 21st, 2008, 11:46 AM
Well, I don't think it's feasible to run your hands through one's hair because there will always be tangles, even if it's the most slippery hair and is freshly washed and combed out. That said, I just tell my BF that he's pulling my hair and everything stops until I release pulled hairs. He got used to paying attention to my hair when cuddling :)

eadwine
March 21st, 2008, 12:08 PM
My SO did run his fingers through my hair (when he was here), but carefully. He knows I am conscious about it, and takes it into account :)

egg99
March 21st, 2008, 12:20 PM
I've got so used to hair just getting in the way these days that I'm not so bothered about my boyfriend and my hair. Until recently, he had longish hair too, so he understands, which is nice.
Although he sometimes leans on mine and then I go to get up... (Ouch that's painful!)

HairColoredHair
March 21st, 2008, 01:11 PM
No... anyone dating me knows I shed kittens. :lol:

ladystar
March 21st, 2008, 01:29 PM
One night my boyfriend accidently lean on my hair I had it in a loose braid, when I woke up in the morning I had a chunk of hair in brush I freaked out. Then I remembered the big ouch!!! It happens sometimes to me.

Sunshine69
March 21st, 2008, 01:43 PM
I like it when my husband brushes my hair, but I don't like him running his hands in it. It always pulls and hurts, and even if it's completely tangle free his hand catches in the hair.

Euphony
March 21st, 2008, 01:56 PM
My husband doesn't run his hand through my hair, he runs his hands over my hair, if that makes sense. He used to run his hands through my hair, but when he'd find a tangle he couldn't figure out how to get his hand out so there was the occasional 'ouch, honey that pulls' so he started 'petting' my hair instead.

I've thought about the wear on my hair by him doing this and figure I'll lose a few hairs here and there and there's the slight possiblity that the longer my hair gets the thinner some of the strands will be due to him petting my hair. But he loves doing it, and I love that he does it so I don't mind.

AJoifulNoise
March 21st, 2008, 02:06 PM
I'm so sorry... But everytime I see this thread I hear (to the theme of "Love and Marraige") Love and shedding... Love and shedding...Goes together like a horse and carraige... This I tell you brother, you can't have one without the other!

It just kinda tickled me.

As for me, I've only let one person run their fingers through my hair and that was a good friend of mine. I'm freaky about personal space and it took a long time to even let her touch me. :o I pity my future significant other!

But, by the time I let him touch my hair he should be used to finding sheds. That's a plus!

florenonite
March 21st, 2008, 02:08 PM
I used to let my ex run his hands through my hair, but he knew full well about its shedding properties before we started going out, because he was already a good friend and had found my hair on his furniture (and his clothes) in the past.

Ohio Sky
March 21st, 2008, 03:04 PM
Ive actually been thinking about starting a similar thread, but wasnt sure how to approach it... my question was more along the lines of what to do with... ahem... heavy cuddling... take that as far as it itll go in your imagination o_0 and thats what I mean.

Without giving too many details, my hair usually ends up quite messy at least once in between 8 pm and 6 am.... and while Ive figured out dos for sleeping, work, etc, that minimize tangles, but this one is still a problem (especially since DBF kinda likes to pull hair...)

jojo
March 21st, 2008, 10:05 PM
dito with the last post, my hubbys the same! i have to shout at him not to touch my hair!!

hrimfaxi
March 21st, 2008, 10:24 PM
I wish DBF would run his fingers through my hair; I LOVE the way it feels. As it is, sometimes he'll run his hands over my hair, but I'll have to tell him I'd really like it if he'd run his fingers through it...
I'm not worried about shedding. As it is I sometimes jokingly hand him combfuls of hair after combing my hair. :tongue: He goes "I don't want that!!!" and I point out that I don't need it either, and then it goes into the trash. :silly:
The only time I don't want his hands in my hair is if it's wash day and therefore it's kinda nasty... then I will warn him that it's icky.

Neon Gloss
March 21st, 2008, 10:31 PM
The guys I get don't even touch my hair.

Meh. Saves me some hairs. :P

Urchin
March 26th, 2008, 01:22 PM
UPDATE:

My visit with the boyfriend has been excellent, but I'm kind of panicking about my hair. Whenever we cuddle (and we've burned through almost 2 seasons of television shows, so there's been a lot of cuddling) he manages to lean on my hair some how, try to massage my scalp and cause shedding, or catch it in his glasses. Ack. Also, I didn't bring my big bottle of henna shampoo with me because of airplane regulations, so I'm using random sample shampoo, which is annoying. Every day I wake up to a mess of tangles and have to comb them out. Ack!

When I'm around the house, I seem always to need to let my hair down to rest comfortably, which makes me nervous. I found a solution yesterday by wrapping my hair in a scarf/bandana to keep it from getting caught in things or pulled. It worked quite well. The boyfriend teased me a bit and said I looked like a dorky pirate, but I told him that this was an issue of function, not fashion. He accepted that, but still teases a bit (nicely). He saw me on LHC, and he seems to think I'm a bit of an obsessive hair freak now. While that is completely true, I don't want him to think I'm some girly girl. I explained my philosophies on long hair growth as a project and self-care/self-love thing, and he seemed to understand.

Overall, tough weekend/week, but solutions were found and happiness abounds once again. I go home tomorrow, which makes me sad, but I feel like this was a great visit. I'm now on the lookout for prettier scarves.

Alaskanheart
March 26th, 2008, 01:36 PM
Ive actually been thinking about starting a similar thread, but wasnt sure how to approach it... my question was more along the lines of what to do with... ahem... heavy cuddling... take that as far as it itll go in your imagination o_0 and thats what I mean.

Without giving too many details, my hair usually ends up quite messy at least once in between 8 pm and 6 am.... and while Ive figured out dos for sleeping, work, etc, that minimize tangles, but this one is still a problem (especially since DBF kinda likes to pull hair...)

Yup ... Know what you mean. Ive started keeping my silk scrunchie handy during those times and I try to smoothly put it into a pony tail without making a fuss about it. If I have another type of hair thingy in my hair then I just replace it with the scrunchie.Not sure if this will work when my hair gets longer though. It may not be romantic but I also comb it out ,uhmmmm after the said "cuddling" most of the time.

As far as running his hands through it. I just dont let him, it hurts and it annoys me. I dont like him to touch my face either, but thats an old fear from the days when I had really bad acne.:(, boy Im a bummer!

Anje
March 26th, 2008, 01:45 PM
Regarding the *ahem* cuddling....

I'm also looking for a good solution. Sometimes a loose braid works well, and I can put it in a swirly bun or similar secured-by-hair style if I just need it out of the way. I do find I tend to end up without a pillow (satin or otherwise), so I'm a bit concerned about friction and breakage over the longterm.

girlcat36
March 26th, 2008, 02:42 PM
I am not so much afraid of the shedding as I am of him ruining the curl pattern.

Silver & Gold
March 26th, 2008, 02:49 PM
Ah yes, the hazards of love.

Even though I will sometimes have to stop everything to free some pulled hairs, I will gladly run the risk of losing a couple of hairs to a good cuddle.

emeraldjoy
March 26th, 2008, 02:55 PM
I have been worried about this too. I am new so I didn't feel like I could bring the "heavy cuddling" question up. I want my hair to be appropriate for the mood, but what happens when long, free flowing hair sets the mood and I don't want tangles afterwards? I wish I could pause everything, braid my hair quickly, and then press the unpause button without losing the magic of the moment.

As far as letting him touch my tresses, I am teaching him how to braid them. It is so sweet and he is surprisingly gentle with my hair. Maybe this could be the answer to my problem. :smooch:

Lisa-Maria
March 26th, 2008, 03:30 PM
Ahh the old "cuddling" problem, I usually try too have it braided, but DBF seems to like it way more when it's loose during those times. So what to do? I have accepted the fact that the loss of a few hairs and a bit of tugging is worth it.

Ohio Sky
March 26th, 2008, 07:07 PM
Emeraldjoy, Im kinda new too but I have no shame so if theres any other weird subjects youre not sure about starting, let me know :D lol

My bf doesnt seem to care if its braided or not but I like him playing with it while were "cuddling" so I leave it down at least once in a while. I usually fall asleep wihtout combing or braiding it so its pretty bad come morning. Even on ngiht when I do braid it, its just too slippy I guess and half of it comes out.

rhubarbarin
March 26th, 2008, 09:09 PM
Well I am spared this problem because it is impossible for anyone to run their fingers through my dry hair. The most you can do is pet my head.

I don't think you have anything to worry about, as far as touching it causing shedding, but if your SO is breaking hairs or pulling them enough for it to hurt I would say something. My BF tends to be a bit rough with my hair sometimes, and I remind him that I am trying to grow it very long and treat it very well, and ask him please be careful.. and he is, until the next time he needs to get something off the table on my side of the bed, and leans his elbow on my hair and breaks a bunch.. sigh.

girlcat36
March 27th, 2008, 07:56 AM
Well I am spared this problem because it is impossible for anyone to run their fingers through my dry hair. The most you can do is pet my head.

LOL This is impossible with my hair as well. No one has ever been able to run their fingers through my hair, not even me on a good hair day.