stressful situations: searching for damaged hair

[adrenaline]

Heyy everyone! :o I'm not sure how to describe the following situation precisely, but in stressful/nervous situations (and thats almost every day) I always play with my hair and look for damaged ones (split ends, white dots, ...). When I'm successful I tear the single hair strand off (only at the part where the damage was, so at the end of the single strand). Unfortunately this procedure damages my tips very badly, and I was thinking about to use professional scissors instead of just tearing it off (so formally, doing S&D). But I cant sit among other people doing this with scissors. And somehow I cant stop doing this searching etc. as well, its already going on for years. Do anybody else deal with this problem and how did you solve that?
(please excuse me if i made some grammatical mistakes)

[spidermom]

I solve it by wearing my hair up, especially in social situations. Otherwise my hair is all over the place, shedding, tangling, and getting in my way. Much better to have it in a nice braid or bun; contained and out of the way. I save searching for damage for times when I have good light and my hair-cutting scissors.

[meteor]

^ I definitely agree with spidermom. :agree: I'd keep it up in compact updo styles as much as possible. You may even want to cover it with silky scarf/bonnet when you are at home, until you notice that the habit is no longer there. :)

[Phanaferous]

As a trichotillomania sufferer I can identify with the searching for and wanting to remove damaged or different feeling hairs. (I pull the whole hair out instead of tearing it off). Getting it up and out of reach helps me avoid the temptation.

You can treat yourself to a nice S & D with proper scissors once you get home; set aside some time for it as a reward for not ripping your ends all day. To substitute something to fiddle with while you are in public and your hair is bunned up, try a rubber band around your wrist. You can snap it, wind it around your fingers, stretch it, whatever, to get rid of that nervous energy that used to be taken up by tearing your split ends off. I sometimes use a poor-quality hair elastic because it doesn't look odd for a longhair to stash extra hair bands on her wrist, and I don't worry about it getting destroyed because it's not the best thing to actually use in my hair anyways.

[lithostoic]

Sounds like a mild form of trich DO NOT LET IT GET OUT OF HAND. If I were you I'd keep it bunned with oil on the ends. Luckily the hair on my head was the only hair I never got keen on pulling out.

[molljo]

I agree with previous posters, that it sounds like trichotillomania. It's only in retrospect and reading about others' experiences here that I realized I suffered from it a lot as a teen and I still sometimes grapple with it. Put your hair up, read up on trich, and try to find ways to healthily deal with your anxiety.

[lapushka]

Another vote for wearing it up.

How long is your hair?

[lillielil]

I do this too, except I bite off the bad ends (I do not eat them!). The only way I can stop myself from doing it is to hide my ends, which means wearing it up in a bun. Braid tassels are not safe.

I keep a pair if hair scissors on my desk at work and use them way too much on days that I try to wear my hair down or in a braid.

[Anje]

Yep, sounds a lot like trich, and I do similar things. I'll look for splits or pick at hangnails or find something else to mess with, often to my detriment. In addition to putting your hair up, I suggest getting a fidget toy to occupy your hands instead.

[adrenaline]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! It didn't come to my mind to wear my hair up since I dealt (and deal) with skin issues and use/d my hair to cover it a bit :oops: I'm surprised you associate my behavior with trich but maybe you are right and its a light version of it :( I will learn more about it! Oiling the ends doesn't sound bad and keeping my hands busy with other things, too. Maybe I try to consequently save time for S&D and to keep my hands away the rest of the day.

lapushka, my hair is at waist length :) (and hopefully one day at hip :D)

[lapushka]

lapushka, my hair is at waist length :) (and hopefully one day at hip :D)

Plenty of buns and braids to try then. :) Hope you find something that you like and can wear, so it's up and out of your way.

[summergame]

I recognize this very well and still search for coarse black hairs between my fine hair, after that I rip them out. Only solution is wearing it on top of my head or in a ponytale.

[lapis_lazuli]

I used to do this a lot in middle school, and still feel the itch to this day. As others have mentioned, keeping it up is the best thing you can do. I put my hair up and leave it in the same LWB for a week to avoid touching or thinking about it. I only mess with it once every two weeks, and that's to wash it :)

[hobbitlocks]

I will chime in to the chorus here. I do something very similar. I struggled with trich (actually pulling out the hair) on and off for years. I've kicked the full pulling for several years now, but I DEFINTIELY play with my hair in a very similar way when feeling anxious. Like other's have mentioned, the only way around it for me is to put it up (not in a braid, UP) on days I know will be stressful. I also keep a cheap claw clip clipped onto practically EVERYTHING (backpack, purses, etc) so that if I start noticing myself doing it and I don't have another good way to put up my hair I can always use that.

Others have recommended trying to find something to do with your hands. I often apply hand lotion or cutical creme (usually can be done subtly enough for most situations). I find I'm less likely to touch my hair while my hands still feel oily/sticky.