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View Full Version : Buns causing weird attention from men!



nmarie33
October 15th, 2008, 03:46 PM
I just thought this was kind of funny/strange. I just learned how to do a cinna-bun last week. I've been holding it up with a pair of wooden chopsticks that I had laying around. This is how I've done my hair for work since I learned it.

Now, I work in an office building full of accounting firms, mutual fund advisors, etc. so normally people are very professional and no one makes any comments toward me. However, the men in my building must find my chopstick bun strangely alluring or something! Almost every day I have worn my hair like this someone has tried to hit on me. Even the security guard made some "lookin good!" comment the other day. And a man who looked like a 55-year-old married accountant told me in the elevator that I looked like Denise Richards. I admit that one was kind of an ego boost, although totally strange and inappropriate. :D

What gives, I thought buns were supposed to make you look matronly and severe! Usually no one says a thing to me when my hair is down. It's not that long or remarkable though. Here I was thinking I was making myself look more professional, when apparently I am making myself look super hot and sexay?? LOL

By the way, I have yet to get used to sticks in my hair and I am a bit of a safety hazard to others. Yesterday I tried to hug my boyfriend and almost put his eye out! Whoops.

It made me laugh, just thought I'd share. :p

Elainehali
October 15th, 2008, 05:08 PM
haha that's awesome.

Maybe they find your neck attractive. :eyebrows:

I'm also a total hazard with chop sticks. Only I've gone one step worse and started wearing mini (fake) swords in my hair. They're supposed to be letter openers, but they make very cool hair sticks.

spidermom
October 15th, 2008, 05:25 PM
At my age, buns are severe and matronly. I don't see your age, but my guess is that you're young enough to qualify for a fun and chic up-do as opposed to an old matronly bun.

NeilTheFuzz
October 15th, 2008, 05:48 PM
I was watching a program about the Geisha girls in japan yesterday. They wear traditional updos that show the nape of the neck and when they use the white makeup they use, they avoid certain areas of the neck. Apparently, men find this very attractive. Maybe you've accidentally managed to pull this effect off without realising :p

crystal_89
October 15th, 2008, 06:02 PM
Maybe they're picturing that trick when someone has their hair up with a chopstick or pencil and they pull it out and the hair cascades down their back.

GlassEyes
October 15th, 2008, 06:07 PM
There's the geisha reference. xD If someone didn't make it, I would've had to.

There's also the librarien thing...you know, when the doors close, and they pull out their hairsticks and the long hair just comes cascading down? XD

KiwiLiz
October 15th, 2008, 06:08 PM
Having your hair back might just flatter you facial structure more than wearing it down, and some men really do find necks alluring!

AmselJoey
October 15th, 2008, 06:11 PM
By the way, I have yet to get used to sticks in my hair and I am a bit of a safety hazard to others. Yesterday I tried to hug my boyfriend and almost put his eye out! Whoops.

LMAO I have done the same thing to my boyfriend!

That being said...he is not a big fan of my hairsticks oops :oops:

Arctic_Mama
October 15th, 2008, 06:56 PM
While dirty librarian images are de rigueur, I think Kiwiliz is probably closer to the money :D It's likely just a style they rarely see and flattering to you. I think it is time to demand pictures on here!

Jeni
October 15th, 2008, 07:08 PM
I second or third the idea that they may like the image of being able to pull the sticks out and have the hair go tumbling down. I know whenever I wear my hair up with sticks/fork/pencil my guy friends turn into little boys and want to pull it/them out of my hair. Men are simple (no offence to the lovely men on this thread!).

It could also be the librarian/alpha female thing... Either way, enjoy it!

dor3girl
October 15th, 2008, 07:19 PM
Maybe you just look better with it up? I have friends who have look gorgeous with flowing wavy or curly hair, but the minute they put it up they look "dowdy" or older. I tend to look better with mine up (more flattering for my somewhat oblong face shape)--unless my hair is full. Or maybe they just like the change?

Longlove
October 15th, 2008, 09:41 PM
Any chance you looked so different they didn't recognize you? They are simple creatures, you know.

Maybe they mistook you for being "the new chick" in the office and they were trying to mark their territory??? Again, very simple creatures.

redpenny
October 15th, 2008, 10:04 PM
Buns make me look older and severe even at 23 so I don't think age matters. I never recieve complements from the way I look but from the chopsticks themselves. Men think the chopsticks look cool but that's about how far it goes for me.

Magicknthenight
October 15th, 2008, 10:11 PM
Maybe they like you and the wearing buns thing at the time was just a coincidence? just a thought :)

Emichiee
October 15th, 2008, 11:35 PM
They imagine pulling the sticks out the bun and unleashing the mane :lol:

vampodrama
October 15th, 2008, 11:43 PM
I don't know how common it is to see hairsticks in your part of the world, but around here they're pretty much unheard of so I get all sorts of attention when I wear hairsticks. because people just aren't used to seeing something like this.

and you're actually lucky if you're getting compliments! there's a guy in my factory (we call him Victor the 5th grader) who literally pulls the sticks out of my hair when he gets the chance. it could be the 5th grader version of a compliment, though, but a slightly more annoying one :D

longhairedfairy
October 16th, 2008, 12:52 AM
Lol, you use actual chopsticks? I have some very pretty ones, but I eat with them:D

trolleypup
October 16th, 2008, 12:55 AM
I second or third the idea that they may like the image of being able to pull the sticks out and have the hair go tumbling down. I know whenever I wear my hair up with sticks/fork/pencil my guy friends turn into little boys and want to pull it/them out of my hair. Men are simple (no offence to the lovely men on this thread!).

It could also be the librarian/alpha female thing... Either way, enjoy it!
*sits at the computer reading the thread, pulls stick out, hair falls all the way down*

Hehe!

trolleypup
October 16th, 2008, 12:57 AM
Lol, you use actual chopsticks? I have some very pretty ones, but I eat with them:D
It isn't an either or thing, you know! ;)

My all the time hair toy is a lightweight stainless steel chopstick...although shorter than the usual chopsticks I used to eat with...

Lisa-Maria
October 16th, 2008, 01:05 AM
Guys really like to pull hair sticks out of updos, I'm guessing that's it. It's a thing, like kittens and yarn ;)

longhairedfairy
October 16th, 2008, 01:10 AM
Lol, I've never known any asians that use eating utensils as hair sticks. Makes me think of The Little Mermaid:D (which I love, lol) Anyone have any pictures? Real chopsticks are typically pretty long, but I guess it would be handy for thick hair (which mine isn't). I tend to stab myself if I use the longer hair sticks:/
My chopsticks are smooth and would probably slip right out, since my hair is kind of slippery as well. They have really pretty pink sakura blossoms on them:) I think they came from asianfoodgrocer.com, if anyone wants to see some pretty ones:)
Whoops! Didn't mean to hijack!

Nanni
October 16th, 2008, 01:14 AM
I bet you looked like another version of yourself. Different. When you get comments like that you get more confident and will probably get even more compriments.
Denise Richard is very sexy, you must have been too.
Congrats!!

nmarie33
October 16th, 2008, 09:33 AM
Hahaha maybe you're right, they're thinking of pulling the sticks out. Never thought of that.

I know I must look very different with my hair up - not long ago I had a ponytail in and a guy I've known for years didn't recognize me.

And yes I'm using actual eating chopsticks at the moment. They are nice ones though, not the throwaway kind you get with take-out. They are too long but it's the only thing I could find. I haven't been able to find a legitimate hair stick yet!

I think naughty librarians are on people's minds lately because of Sara Palin. Maybe that's part of it. Ha! :p

gallows_gallery
October 16th, 2008, 10:17 AM
I think it depends who a bun is on for it to be sexy. They can kind of be a fetish - you know - like the strict school teacher, the secretary, or the mistress. They're sleek and show off your neck - and adding chopsticks make it even more, I don't know...fetishistic?

NightDaemon
October 16th, 2008, 10:25 AM
I think it depends who a bun is on for it to be sexy. They can kind of be a fetish - you know - like the strict school teacher, the secretary, or the mistress. They're sleek and show off your neck - and adding chopsticks make it even more, I don't know...fetishistic?
I think the word you're after is exotic.

gallows_gallery
October 16th, 2008, 11:21 AM
More exotic ;)

Anje
October 16th, 2008, 12:39 PM
I agree -- the chopsticks are probably unusual-looking enough that they want to pull them out and watch your hair cascade down, probably in a very cascade-y, Pantene-commercial sort of way. As I understand it, fantasy is huge for me, and the chopsticks probably give them something new and interesting to consider.


My all the time hair toy is a lightweight stainless steel chopstick...although shorter than the usual chopsticks I used to eat with...

I've been meaning to ask where you got that. I've not had any luck finding short steel chopsticks online.

crazy me
October 16th, 2008, 01:43 PM
I love it all. If you want to know if the hairsticks or just the fact that you have your hair off your neck you can try experimenting with your hair a little more. I have found some amazing updos on this site that you can pull off in a professional enviroment. Maybe a little "fun" is in store. I really wonder what they would do with different hair styles. Just a thought.

longhairedfairy
October 16th, 2008, 01:47 PM
*snip* I know I must look very different with my hair up - not long ago I had a ponytail in and a guy I've known for years didn't recognize me.
I've had that happen before. I remember once someone didn't recognize me outside dance class in college because I had my hair down, lol.


And yes I'm using actual eating chopsticks at the moment. They are nice ones though, not the throwaway kind you get with take-out. They are too long but it's the only thing I could find. I haven't been able to find a legitimate hair stick yet!
*snip*
I got most of mine from firemountaingems.com. I like to paint the wood ones. They're pre-drilled on the end so that you can attach head/eyepins with beads on them. They might still have bone ones as well. I have a few and they're very pretty.

longhairedfairy
October 16th, 2008, 01:52 PM
I've been in such a stupid mood lately. I keep getting an image of putting my chopsticks in my hair after eating and getting my hair all sticky with sauce, lol. I guess it would hold the style better (Yes, I know you're not actually doing that, but that's what I keep thinking about;)). It might be fun to make some novelty hairsticks with miniature eating utensils as the end decoration...

girlcat36
October 16th, 2008, 02:00 PM
LOL
I had just had to click on this thread to make sure you didn't mean your 'other' buns!:D

NightDaemon
October 16th, 2008, 02:07 PM
Attention from men for 'other' buns wouldn't be called weird. Unless it was creepy-level (and even then...)

Iphinoe
October 16th, 2008, 02:15 PM
Attention from men for 'other' buns wouldn't be called weird. Unless it was creepy-level (and even then...)

:laugh:

Yeah, that would a pretty standard cause for attention.

I'm siding with those who had said it makes you look different. I look frumpy and plain with my hair down, whereas I look sleek and chic with my hair bunned and smoothly side-parted.

I want to wear my hair down more often, but it makes my face look flat and undefined.

longhairedfairy
October 16th, 2008, 02:32 PM
girlcat, you made me lol! :D

mandeloo
October 16th, 2008, 04:53 PM
More exotic ;)

holy s*** I think you have the prettiest hair I have ever seen.

ancilla
October 16th, 2008, 06:51 PM
I wish I had a nice neck. I have a thick sort of humpy neck that doesn't look good pulled back.
Of course its only me that thinks that, I've never had anyone say that to me hehe.

trolleypup
October 16th, 2008, 10:34 PM
I've been meaning to ask where you got that. I've not had any luck finding short steel chopsticks online.
I got mine from garrettwade.com

...although I have seen some of them on my street (Little Chinatown)

rileysmama32208
October 16th, 2008, 10:37 PM
Maybe they're picturing that trick when someone has their hair up with a chopstick or pencil and they pull it out and the hair cascades down their back.

this is exactly what I was going to say, lol! Its that "hot teacher" or "hot secretary" fantasy they're being reminded of by your hair ;)

shrimp
October 17th, 2008, 04:48 AM
As others have said it could be a few different reasons.

Change
Suits you more
Showing the neck...


I know when I leave my hair curly men in general treat me differently even when it's bunned (including my ex who was with me for nearly 6 years so you'd think would be uninfluenced by it and very good freinds). In general they are more gentlemanly and tend to smile at me more.
When my hair is straightened it's usually tight bunned and ultra professional, curly it's looser and I have nape ringlets etc, I guess one looks more approachable and less intimidating than the other.

One of my best freinds has recently started making lots of comments and mimes along the bun-fall lines, including some with theme music :lol: As he's known me about three years I'm not sure why the sudden obsession but I think it started when he saw me with my hair down a few times.

pdy2kn6
October 17th, 2008, 08:35 AM
I was watching a program about the Geisha girls in japan yesterday. They wear traditional updos that show the nape of the neck and when they use the white makeup they use, they avoid certain areas of the neck. Apparently, men find this very attractive. Maybe you've accidentally managed to pull this effect off without realising :p


I too saw this programme, it was so interesting. Yes you make a good point, perhaps they are attracted to you neck area, which in Japan, apparently has some kind of appeal similar to cleavages do in the West.

Treecrown
October 17th, 2008, 08:52 AM
What a fun thread! I am a librarian...I wore my hair down for years and as soon as I started putting it up, people (by which I mean women too) were full of compliments. In my case it must have been the change factor--they were so used to seeing me with my hair down.

nmarie33
October 17th, 2008, 09:23 AM
What a fun thread! I am a librarian...I wore my hair down for years and as soon as I started putting it up, people (by which I mean women too) were full of compliments. In my case it must have been the change factor--they were so used to seeing me with my hair down.

Naughty librarian! LOL :p

Not to be sexist or anything, but I do notice that the slightest "feminizing" change in appearance causes a big difference in how men treat me. For example, I usually never wear makeup, and one day when I just put on lipstick you wouldn't believe how many doors I got opened for me, how many packages got carried for me, etc. It's easy to see how girls who have been really pretty all their lives can grow accustomed to being spoiled brats! LOL!

Men really are kind of simple creatures. Please don't take offense guys, I really love and appreciate you all! But I think you know it's true! :p

CopperHead
October 17th, 2008, 01:09 PM
I get the most compliments when I wear my hair up in a bun. Especially if I have a hairstick holding it up. I have been told it is cute, so I know I don't look the least bit matronly. I think there is an exotic flare to buns of any kind. I only wear a tight one on top of my head because of the weight of my hair, but it works. ;) Besides, I love pulling out the stick and feeling all of that hair falling down. It is a very sensual thing.

longhairedfairy
October 17th, 2008, 04:19 PM
I get the most compliments when I wear my hair up in a bun. Especially if I have a hairstick holding it up. I have been told it is cute, so I know I don't look the least bit matronly. I think there is an exotic flare to buns of any kind. I only wear a tight one on top of my head because of the weight of my hair, but it works. Besides, I love pulling out the stick and feeling all of that hair falling down. It is a very sensual thing.

That and the geisha comment made me think of the the maiko (apprentice geiko/geisha) hairstyle and what it's intended to look like. Maybe this is something similar (not trying to be vulgar at all - just a thought).

NightDaemon
October 17th, 2008, 05:02 PM
Men really are kind of simple creatures. Please don't take offense guys, I really love and appreciate you all! But I think you know it's true! :p
Of course we are. Being complicated takes time and effort, which I'd much rather put into my hair.

Samikha
October 18th, 2008, 05:11 AM
Of course we are. Being complicated takes time and effort, which I'd much rather put into my hair.

:rollin: Thank you for making me giggle! I'll be grinning about that comment every time I see a guy with nice hair:D

As for the geisha thing, I believe it's most often compared to the way Western men view seeing a pretty girl's legs.

GlassEyes
October 18th, 2008, 09:47 PM
When people change their appearence, other's notice more, I think. Maybe that's it?

There's a lot of theories. xD

longhairedfairy
October 19th, 2008, 12:34 AM
*snip*As for the geisha thing, I believe it's most often compared to the way Western men view seeing a pretty girl's legs.

Yes, the neck part certainly is. I've never liked my neck much:(

ETA: That's why geisha/geiko wear the kimono lower in the back than other women.

Yellowmoon
October 19th, 2008, 02:41 PM
Totally agreed! I get more feedback on my hair when I wear it up, especially when I use hairsticks or other kinds of hair toys. However, it's always between "interesting" and "looks good" so I am not shure what the folks really think ... But most important, my boyfriend loves buns and he often asks me to put hair up even when I have plans to wear it open ;-)

freznow
October 19th, 2008, 03:09 PM
I know guys my age get a kick out of being able to say "I like your buns!" in reference to a hair bun. :lol:

florenonite
October 19th, 2008, 03:40 PM
I know guys my age get a kick out of being able to say "I like your buns!" in reference to a hair bun. :lol:

If any of my guy friends say that and I can trace it back to you, I'll track you down and kill you in your sleep for making them more irritating than they already are :P My friends thus far settle for removing my hairstick and inopportune times, though when I use a shorter, twisted one they can't seem to work it out and leave it be, or else they just don't notice it so much.

intothemist1999
October 19th, 2008, 09:08 PM
I've heard of LOTS of men who have a "thing" for buns.

Not sure how much detail I can respectably go into, and maybe it's been said already, I haven't read all 50 replies yet! lol

darkwaves
October 19th, 2008, 09:57 PM
I got mine from garrettwade.com Imagine my surprise when I hit that site. Axes, chainsaws, sharpeners, more!

But when I searched for "chopsticks", I found small, medium and large in stainless steel. No length measurements, though. I've e-mailed for that.

Thanks!

gdimoonbeam
October 19th, 2008, 10:47 PM
In Korea all we were presented with were metal chopsticks in the restaurants. Metal seemed to be a preference there and my DH picked up a couple of sets. Here in the states I have looked in Asian groceries and found them.

I agree with the cascading hair. My DH loves to see my hair down and when I wear it up he is tempted to take it down.:eyebrows:

chantiny
October 20th, 2008, 08:28 AM
I just want to chime in, they might not be hitting on you per say, but if you normally wear it down, and now you're taking time and effort into putting it up, they might just be giving a compliment because you're inadvertantly asking for one. You obviously think it looks nice up, maybe they're just acknowledging that you're correct in that assumption? Compliments (thankfully), even from men, don't necessarily have to be anything more than just an acknowledgement of effort.

backtolonghair
October 20th, 2008, 12:01 PM
Wow, I read this story and smiled! That is too cute! Guys, are so funny! It's great though, it shows that they really do like those different feminine touches. You have inspired me, I"m going to start wearing my hair up more and see what different reactions I will get.

I loved the part about the cascading hair, and guys wanting to take your hair down from the hair pins.. (not sure who wrote that..:) ) but yes, they can be like little boys when it comes to things like this. lol! I will have to wait a little bit for the cascading hair part to happen, but I'm definitely going to try some more updos! Thanks for sharing your story! :)

freznow
October 20th, 2008, 12:35 PM
Imagine my surprise when I hit that site. Axes, chainsaws, sharpeners, more!

But when I searched for "chopsticks", I found small, medium and large in stainless steel. No length measurements, though. I've e-mailed for that.

Thanks!

Oh please share if you find out! I lost one of my lovely metal hairsticks and am looking for a replacement.

:blossom:

trolleypup
October 20th, 2008, 01:11 PM
Oh please share if you find out! I lost one of my lovely metal hairsticks and am looking for a replacement.

:blossom:
Just a moment:
Small - *looks in work backpack chopstick case, pulls out emergency hairstick* 6.25" (16cm)
Medium - *pulls hairstick out, hair falls down floomp, measures* 7.5" (19cm)
Large - *looks in chopstick drawer in kitchen* 9.0" (23cm)
Walking back from breakfast one of the little asian stores had 9 inch chopsticks of this type, with a nice looking twist to the metal in the finger grip area...sadly, 9 inches is a lot of hairstick...I might get some for the cutlery drawer though...