Thoughts about cutting

[Katschakai]

I'm sure there's been a million posts about this issue, I know I've seen a bunch during my time here. I never thought I would make one.

My hair is practically classic lenght. I'm maintaining. And I'm just.... so sick of it. I love it and I hate it. And I feel that the reasons I love it are all wrong. I love the attention it gets when I wear it loose. I love that it makes me seem unique. These are not very good reasons to keep it long I feel :D :D And I hate it cause it either just hangs there and gets tangly, or I wear it up and its just.... up. Like... kept in storage.

Since the weight drags it down it looks thinner than it is and it looks very flat. I got bangs and that made me like it more, cause my hair wasn't just... there. I'm thinking about cutting it to tailbone or hip and the reasons I don't are basically: fear that I will change my mind, I mean, its atleast a year worth of growth. But another reason is that... I dont wanna hear peoples comments. Cause when you have long hair people always comment. Mostly positive, sometimes negative ("you should cut it" or "it looks weird") but people always comment. I also fear being... I dunno. Boring? (I am NOT saying that people with tailbone or shorter have boring hair, not at all, I'm saying I'm silly for thinking _I_ would be boring with shorter hair) Like if I cut it to hip or even to waist I would be losing some sort of imaginary competition.

I don't know what I want with this post, maybe I should have saved it for my diary :D But I would love some opinion about what I've been writing about, both specific to my case, but also philosofically about this issue. What happens when you've been a long-hair for so long that the mere thought of cutting more than for a trim is such a hard thing to handle? Why do I feel like a failure for not loving my long hair? And I don't mean in the "it takes a long time to wash" kind of way but more "my hair has more power over me than I would like"

[Wusel]

I felt kinda the same when I was at waist and I cut it to layered shoulder... But when you cut it to hip it's still very long and only one year of growth... Maybe it's worth a try... And maybe you feel better about it having it a little shorter...

[Arctic]

Most people wouldn't even notice a cut from classic to hip, or so I have read people telling here, who have done a bigger cut. It won't change how your face looks, and face is what people concentrate on in social situations (and what you see in the mirror daily).

I have no advice really, nor experiences. Maybe make a pros/cons type of list? Browse around the Pinterest to see what kind of styles/lengths you are feeling a pull towards? Dye with temporary dye? Learn new hair styles that look different from the front than what you usually do?

[allycat]

Katschakai, I get it! I finally got to hip and was aiming for TB, but it just felt more and more... Blah to me. It felt boring and limp. I noticed that for the first time in 5 years here, I was starting to pin more pix on my Pinterest that were BSL'ish! What?! What was happening to me? :D

Like this:
http://pin.it/bNjDbRH

http://pin.it/dlwk8aS

Then one day a few months ago I saw this pic and I was done for:

http://pin.it/jV9aHzb

I went to my friend's salon (first time in years!) Got my hair bluntly trimmed like that and have been loving it. I'm maintaining it here at BSL until I feel like doing something different, but for now I really, really like it. It feels swingier on me, wavier. I still love very long hair, but I'm enjoying the heck out of BSL right now!

So i say, hang out with the feeling for a while. See if you're attracted to some particular length over time. Hair grows, so you can always start the adventure again!

I was always attracted to the "big chop" threads here. Sometimes it's fun to do something different!

[KittyBird]

I had some of the same thoughts before I cut from classic to hip. It took a bit of time to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn't be the 'one with the super long hair' anymore, as classic is unusual here, while hip length is very common. I just had to remind myself that whatever I was doing with my hair, I was actually doing it for myself and not for what other people thought about it. No one calls me rapunzel anymore, but that's ok, because I'm much happier with my hair at hip length. It's easier to wear it down, easier to wear it up (it was very heavy at tbl+/classic) and easier to detangle. I have no regrets! I spent months thinking about wether I wanted to cut or not though, and then I waited almost a year before I actually cut it.

[lapushka]

Once you've reached your goal, and want to cut a big chunk off, it's like... it will grow back, faster than you think. I am maintaining classic length ATM, and am considering on my next maintenance trim I want to cut a bigger chunk off, so I don't have to have it trimmed every single damn month. It gets *boring* to do that every time, and months go by fast. So yeah, I get it. Totally. And I'm all for it.

[Katschakai]

I felt kinda the same when I was at waist and I cut it to layered shoulder... But when you cut it to hip it's still very long and only one year of growth... Maybe it's worth a try... And maybe you feel better about it having it a little shorter...

Oh, waist to shoulder is a way bigger step, very brave. Yeah, its only a year, and since I mostly have it up I can just keep it bunned if I hate it.



Most people wouldn't even notice a cut from classic to hip, or so I have read people telling here, who have done a bigger cut. It won't change how your face looks, and face is what people concentrate on in social situations (and what you see in the mirror daily).

I have no advice really, nor experiences. Maybe make a pros/cons type of list? Browse around the Pinterest to see what kind of styles/lengths you are feeling a pull towards? Dye with temporary dye? Learn new hair styles that look different from the front than what you usually do?

I appreciate your input. Great idea about writing a pros and cons list. Both to see which side has the most points and also what kind of points there are. Temporary dye is also something I could try before going for a cut. My ends are green (I did it the last time I had these thoughts) and I'm thinking about some manic panic red or purple. Do you have any tips about hair styles that look different from the front? My go tos are lazy wrap bun, chinese bun och figure 8. Sometimes I do either single or double braids


Katschakai, I get it! I finally got to hip and was aiming for TB, but it just felt more and more... Blah to me. I noticed that for the first time in 5 years here, I was starting to pin more pix on my Pinterest that were BSL'ish! What?! What was happening to me? ��

Like this:
http://pin.it/bNjDbRH

http://pin.it/dlwk8aS

Then one day I saw this pic and I was done for:

http://pin.it/jV9aHzb

I went to my friend's salon (first time in years!) Got my hair bluntly trimmed to that length and have been loving it. I'm maintaining it there until I feel like doing something different, but I sure do love it now. I feel like it's swingier on me, wavier. I still love very long hair, but I'm loving the heck out of BSL right now!

So i say, hang out with the feeling for a while. See if you're attracted to some particular length over time. Hair grows, so you can always start the adventure again!

I was always attracted to the "big chop" threads here. Sometimes it's fun to do something different!

wow, that is quite the chop! The thing about length is that when I had short hair my dream goal was Buttercup from The Princess bride. I saw pictures a few months ago and she was "just" at about waist! So I have surpassed my original goal with like.... a foot? I mean, it doesnt hurt to look at some different lenghts, some different styles etcetera.

[Katschakai]

I had some of the same thoughts before I cut from classic to hip. It took a bit of time to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn't be the 'one with the super long hair' anymore, as classic is unusual here, while hip length is very common. I just had to remind myself that whatever I was doing with my hair, I was actually doing it for myself and not for what other people thought about it. No one calls me rapunzel anymore, but that's ok, because I'm much happier with my hair at hip length. It's easier to wear it down, easier to wear it up (it was very heavy at tbl+/classic) and easier to detangle. I have no regrets! I spent months thinking about wether I wanted to cut or not though, and then I waited almost a year before I actually cut it.

yup, yup! I mean my hair is for me... But I let this weird pride get in the way. Its like my hair is my one really unique feature and I'm worried about who I'll be if I cut it. Even just up to hip, which as you say, is still looooong. I trimmed my hair last week, so I have some time to think about. But its comforting to talk to people who'd have the same thoughts and even gone through with it.


Once you've reached your goal, and want to cut a big chunk off, it's like... it will grow back, faster than you think. I am maintaining classic length ATM, and am considering on my next maintenance trim I want to cut a bigger chunk off, so I don't have to have it trimmed every single damn month. It gets *boring* to do that every time, and months go by fast. So yeah, I get it. Totally. And I'm all for it.
Yeah, I mean I cut every month too and if I cut a chunk off I can just not trim for a few months. I can cut it off and just see how it feels. If I absolutely adore it I can maintain and if I hate it I can just throw it up in a bun and forget it for a while.

---
Soooo many great responses! I love hearing about other people having the same feelings

[Zesty]

:scissors: Do you have any tips about hair styles that look different from the front? My go tos are lazy wrap bun, chinese bun och figure 8. Sometimes I do either single or double braids. :scissors:

Sometimes it's not a matter of a whole different updo, but sectioning the front and doing something different with it. So a pouf in the front, or rolls (a la gossamer), or a braided accent, or what have you. Or a side bun or side braid I found made me feel much prettier and happier with my hair, because it makes it look like you have hair. I'm glad bangs made it better, I never wanted to cut them back in after growing them out so I can't comment on that. Anyway, doing something different with it so that it shows more might make you feel less like it's "in storage"?

That being said, I don't think there's anything wrong with cutting back to TBL or hip. That's not such a long time to grow back. I, on the other hand, responded to these feelings by cutting from TBL to collarbone, which means a long time to get back to where I was. Doing something a little less drastic and seeing how you feel at each shorter length (if you decide to go shorter after the initial cut) would probably be a safer bet.

And I totally get you on the "I won't be special without long hair" and "my hair has more power over me than I'd like." If your hair isn't fun anymore then you should change something! For me that was being less precious with it and worrying less about damage, which helped a lot, though I still ended up cutting it. And know that you are special no matter what your hair is like! :flower:

[Katschakai]

Sometimes it's not a matter of a whole different updo, but sectioning the front and doing something different with it. So a pouf in the front, or rolls (a la gossamer), or a braided accent, or what have you. Or a side bun or side braid I found made me feel much prettier and happier with my hair, because it makes it look like you have hair. I'm glad bangs made it better, I never wanted to cut them back in after growing them out so I can't comment on that. Anyway, doing something different with it so that it shows more might make you feel less like it's "in storage"?

That being said, I don't think there's anything wrong with cutting back to TBL or hip. That's not such a long time to grow back. I, on the other hand, responded to these feelings by cutting from TBL to collarbone, which means a long time to get back to where I was. Doing something a little less drastic and seeing how you feel at each shorter length (if you decide to go shorter after the initial cut) would probably be a safer bet.

And I totally get you on the "I won't be special without long hair" and "my hair has more power over me than I'd like." If your hair isn't fun anymore then you should change something! For me that was being less precious with it and worrying less about damage, which helped a lot, though I still ended up cutting it. And know that you are special no matter what your hair is like! :flower:

whoa, tbl to collarbone? That is braaaave. I cut my bangs back in (they weren't fully grown out) to off set those feelings of wanting to cut it all off to take some power back. I had had a bout of hair nightmares and felt like, hair is supposed to be fun, not something that gives you anxiety.

Your last paragraph made me smile :) thank you.
Also I think that is something I'm gonna start doing, just being a litte less "careful" with it. Even if I maintain, cut to tbl I think that could help a bit. Have fun with it. Now I know that classic is my limit/goal/whathaveyou and I know I can reach it so if I want to have it lose a bit more or try some different deposit only dyes or something it will be alright.

[LongCurlyTress]

Good luck!! I just cut only an inch ...went from 36 to 35 inches this past week and my hair is lighter and feels healthier. Just an inch. I am trying to cut out the v shape in my hemline so due to some personal family stresses, I needed to do something!! Believe me, just one or two inches will make your hair feel completely different and that is not such a huge sacrifice as it will grow back quickly, esp now that summer is coming. Well this is my advice...go ahead and cut, but only a couple of inches at the most... and see if that small change doesn't feel different enough. Don't go drastic from classic to hip.... not yet, anyways. Good luck with whatever you decide. PS I am still hoping to grow to classic, but plan on maintaining here until the v shape grows out and my hemline is blunt. ;) Half ups are a great idea for some variety!!

[pailin]

It's reasonable to cut some if it's too much trouble or just not fun. Why don't you go with the two-week rule, and tell yourself you have to wait 2 weeks? Then if you still want to cut, do it. In the meantime find some new styles to try, especially rolls/poufs/accents, whatever will look different from the front. If you do decide to cut, just cut a few inches at a time, or maybe one milestone.

[Katschakai]

Good luck!! I just cut only an inch ...went from 36 to 35 inches this past week and my hair is lighter and feels healthier. Just an inch. I am trying to cut out the v shape in my hemline so due to some personal family stresses, I needed to do something!! Believe me, just one or two inches will make your hair feel completely different and that is not such a huge sacrifice as it will grow back quickly, esp now that summer is coming. Well this is my advice...go ahead and cut, but only a couple of inches at the most... and see if that small change doesn't feel different enough. Don't go drastic from classic to hip.... not yet, anyways. Good luck with whatever you decide. PS I am still hoping to grow to classic, but plan on maintaining here until the v shape grows out and my hemline is blunt. ;) Half ups are a great idea for some variety!!
The inch by inch idea is a good one. If I do decide to cut to hip I think I still wont take ALL of it in one swoop. I will cut and inch, see how it looks, cut and inch see how it looks and so on. Maybe I get two or three of and decide that "oh, this isn't hip, but I like it"


It's reasonable to cut some if it's too much trouble or just not fun. Why don't you go with the two-week rule, and tell yourself you have to wait 2 weeks? Then if you still want to cut, do it. In the meantime find some new styles to try, especially rolls/poufs/accents, whatever will look different from the front. If you do decide to cut, just cut a few inches at a time, or maybe one milestone.
Yeah, I'm gonna wait at least a few days. I've had these thoughts for a few months, but even if I decide that cutting a chunk off is a good idea I'd still give it some time, and as you said and as I replied above, inch by inch is the way to go I think. In most cases. On the other hand I feel like sometimes you might need the "trauma" of cutting a good chunk of in one go. For me, a good chunk would be hip at the most. I think that's about four inches for me. So not thaaat much :D




Keep the replies coming, even if they're not about me specifically. I love hearing peoples thoughts about this issue

[endlessly]

I know exactly how you feel, so you definitely are not alone! I've felt this way many times and yes, I did decide to cut it shorter as a result. Mine was just shy of knee and a tangled mess that seemed to frustrate me more than it made me happy, so cutting it back to tailbone was the best thing I could do for my sanity at the time. Instead of taking a large chunk of length off, try trimming an inch or so at a time until you feel happiest with the length. That way, if you do change your mind and want to grow it back, it won't seem like such a daunting task.

[LongCurlyTress]

The inch by inch idea is a good one. If I do decide to cut to hip I think I still wont take ALL of it in one swoop. I will cut and inch, see how it looks, cut and inch see how it looks and so on. Maybe I get two or three of and decide that "oh, this isn't hip, but I like it"


Yeah, I'm gonna wait at least a few days. I've had these thoughts for a few months, but even if I decide that cutting a chunk off is a good idea I'd still give it some time, and as you said and as I replied above, inch by inch is the way to go I think. In most cases. On the other hand I feel like sometimes you might need the "trauma" of cutting a good chunk of in one go. For me, a good chunk would be hip at the most. I think that's about four inches for me. So not thaaat much :D




Keep the replies coming, even if they're not about me specifically. I love hearing peoples thoughts about this issue
I am happy to see you are considering only one inch at a time, but wait at least a week or more before cutting again. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with how different your hair feels, not to mention this "microtrimming" will create a healthier thicker hemline so that is also encouraging. I will be holding your hand in spirit when you do this.... post some before and after pics please! ;) Come join us on the Microtrimming and maintaining thread here on LHC!!
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=75468&highlight=microtrimming+thread

[SparrowWings]

For an alternate perspective, from one who has done the significant cuts, a few times now...

The first time I had a major hair cut I wasn't really actively growing my hair out; I'd just decided I liked it long, so let it do its thing. It got to somewhere around FTL, and I decided the tangles were too much and I was sick of sitting on the end of my braid and yanking my head backwards. I still wasn't sure I wanted to cut it for a while, but eventually decided that if I was going to do so, it would have to be at least a few inches, and if I was going to do more than just a trim, I didn't want to cut little enough that it would just be "wasted". So I got a foot or so cut off, to donate. That brought it to around mid-back. It was sad having it gone, and I know I spent at least the first month or two complaining about how short it was and how I didn't like that length, and it was annoying, and pick your childhood whine, but as time went on, and it grew back, the complaints lessened, and I started learning how to deal with the new length. I never really regretted the cut, persay, but it definitely took some adjusting.

Since then, I've had it cut at least a couple more times, from Classic/FTL to APL/BSL, give or take. It's still a bittersweet thing, but it's also a nice change (Except the APL-to-BSL stretch. That length annoyed the heck out of me. I never want less than BSL again, unless it's something significantly less, like barely brushing my shoulders, or something.). And after that first time, and having a timeframe for full regrowth, it's not nearly as upsetting, either -- even if it was me that decided, even that first time.

So that's another option for you. If you're unsure about the length, either cut a small amount until you find a length you like, as others have already suggested. Or figure out a length that you can repurpose (wig donation or otherwise), and that you wouldn't mind parting with, and try that out instead. If nothing else, having a use for the cut length might help you be more comfortable with the change.

[spidermom]

Well, remember, often we will regret something we didn't do as much or more than something we did do.

[CreatureBailey]

I say wait a while...well that's what I would do. Maybe you're in a bad phase about your hair, and if you cut it you could regret it. But if you don't you'll just wait to see if the feeling passes. It's like having a line in front of you that separates two universes. If you cross the line it will take you a long time to get back where you are presently. It's either you stay there and wait to see if you truly truly really really want to go in the other universe, or cross the line. If you cross it, you might find a new home, but you might find yourself wanting to go back home and having to wait.

:)

[MINAKO]

I've been having the same thougths since i was at hip over and over again... Now i'm past classic.
I know that collar bone length is what suits my face the most and i could easily wear it down like that all the time. But thats quite a chunk of hair and i dont like the lengths in between on me. So if i did that i would probably never again in my life be a long haired wuxia warrior princess, durrr. Also i worked so hard and invested so much miney on products to get my hair this long. And healthy, theres alot of pride behind that as well.
And i totally get the imaginary competition thing, not so much here, but in real life. Out of all my friends i'm by far the one with the longest hair, on my social media i'm almost a bit of a rebel looking with that sort of traditionalist look in between alot of super fashion people with typical salon styles. Yes its a bit silly. We shouldnt make ourselves feel like we have to live up to anybodys expectations.

[Daydreamer.]

How about trying long layers or a different type of hemline? Learning different braids can make things interesting, too. If you want to make some kind of change, try something subtle (first) rather than something drastic. That way, you could handle an unwanted outcome much more easier. Good luck!

[Katschakai]

Hey you guys! I got caught up in offline life and haven't been here for a while. Kinda bad of me to start a thread and then just bailing, sorry. Buuuut... I woke up sunday and was just done with scraggly ends and without even thinking almost, I cut of four inches, taking me to tailbone. After I did the cut I kind of thought "omg, what did I do?!" and then I saw myself in the mirror and was just SO HAPPY! My hemline looks so full and nice and thick. No longer does it clumb up into weird chunks. It's just so pretty! Sorry for being, you know, THAT person, the person who askes for advice and then almost disregard it. All you guys have been really helpful and made me feel very supported.
Now I'm not sure what to do. I like this lenght, but I think I'll let it grow a bit more to see what happens to my hemline and just for fun. Now I know that tailbone makes me very happy so if it gets "too long" again I can chop it to TBL and be happy. So we'll see.

And here's before and after (later I made the hemline more blunt, but you get the idea)
http://i.imgur.com/cwHg7L5.jpg

[Wusel]

Hey you guys! I got caught up in offline life and haven't been here for a while. Kinda bad of me to start a thread and then just bailing, sorry. Buuuut... I woke up sunday and was just done with scraggly ends and without even thinking almost, I cut of four inches, taking me to tailbone. After I did the cut I kind of thought "omg, what did I do?!" and then I saw myself in the mirror and was just SO HAPPY! My hemline looks so full and nice and thick. No longer does it clumb up into weird chunks. It's just so pretty! Sorry for being, you know, THAT person, the person who askes for advice and then almost disregard it. All you guys have been really helpful and made me feel very supported.
Now I'm not sure what to do. I like this lenght, but I think I'll let it grow a bit more to see what happens to my hemline and just for fun. Now I know that tailbone makes me very happy so if it gets "too long" again I can chop it to TBL and be happy. So we'll see.

And here's before and after (later I made the hemline more blunt, but you get the idea)
http://i.imgur.com/cwHg7L5.jpg

Wow... Congratulations! Looks great!!! :joy:
It was absolutely the RIGHT decision! As I told you, it's not that much and makes such a HUGE difference!
Great!
How did you cut it? Did you take it to the front and cut straight?

[Katschakai]

Thank you!
When I saw the hair on the flor all I could think was "Is that it?" It wasnt that much at all. Since it looks thicker now I kind of dont even notice the missing four inches.
I use Feyes self trimning methods its been working great for me and it worked great today. I was gonna go for a U shape but then I went straight across.