Starting to be afraid that I just don't look good with long hair

[turtlelover]

OK, here is my situation: I had a chin length bob a few years ago, which I have no desire to repeat. I've been avoiding scissors for the most part and a lot of my layers were growing out and I was aiming for a blunt hemline. However, I was getting tons of tangles and clarifying and conditioning didn't fix it, so I did a rather big trim, including all of my layers. I was liking the way my hair itself looked without the layers -- it could easily go straight when blown dry and have that shiny, sleek look. However, after seeing myself in photos, I have to admit that I look a lot better w/ some layers in my hair and with it a little bit shorter -- it really brings out the waves and gives it some lift and just looks better on my face. I just am not sure that I look good with long hair. I feel that much as I love long hair, mine just gets flat on top and though it itself looks good, I don't think it looks good on me. Has anyone else ever struggled with these sorts of feelings? Or, maybe I just haven't found the right cut for growing wavy hair longer???? I really, really love long hair, and it bugs me that I can find mine unflattering when it starts to finally grow. *sigh* I would love to have long, long hair that actually looked good on me!

Before cut..... (Not a flattering photo in the least, nor was it a good hair day, but you can get the idea)
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/0Rh9PL2YGRMKJyDzRYJXiAlW1wDvnNFiGhWxTQy3NsyXcI6zrP d5jZattFeWbQlYkMVBdJCcG_dLbWQrbSo3RpNYkgIRb7OKrGH4 X0CpPOV1XQGKflgbSq5nv4cLi5vu6B30wlGa5xuh7KO9rjKG3D px9EpYjCFE_gc9_fDGzLhbSNWcReNvnT1JWmGNVY796PwlB1Um ZeGWeKI_w41reUpOS7hdmfG1ml71xcsh0zZmk8369c0uzoc32w hj-ikEcncQlepEQ9ngyJ8Q0NGzAvrYP4h0GxIHeYGvWypI69GFPVi rXKgPSugyBITfCrFituy2Il5PEsgjtcjMm76ts8jPxvZ9xfsFl Rf_56rA1k9k-WQT08scy2ws8PujZaYiZTomqQ6HCemB1rnUHlqC_DmMc11a7co vuNOwTjL_34biVwAGltEwo4hV6Io3e66JoBsKsjhR6srVuNCNj _MbsFxGhS32x_k7qwiAVLIOHrEwgdx36ZNW7Efc8rHa8zpmC_H zMGAd06e9VXe507x3bRKW5LLwDqWcunf19-wImQcg4XLGHppaoG6HvuOdoPlZyzX-=s585-no

After cut, plus a different semi color....
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/YyxFOomTwc6a_7yxyaWoGg7M40n8GPcpEfVTvT9L1PA0JbJe6t 6tzact0oi8CXbclaLOFJ5j2obXXICEZqktXUONmp7IiHFiJv_Q Gz_ReD3gj9FEc06dSxoIUEp_eGjphKOqbpMe2ETdqykhikuiYs Vm22EW3F6wv9OVnX8j_6pTSaLn0YC31W9FL5-xFrdtLAXcUOvfkqKRu7V7wZ86-K9Az7tnNd6THc8EYgeAFpf6CbMr2D4qqF9tlZGhvHzJdE-N8QBsTjPz0YiNbTrMIGRdsrM2k2C-k6jFenMjeuGzYt7eQy-l3O2seYfgttb0FHJTigHthKEN_M2fEr_iCEbBosPt6SD36UphT o6RZtozcQ57WF8ctg12VesoOcuegYdL55Pe79ELCmJA_XLvQWg KgIXnISX-NH_7CNgJv1E4vP0lTDHYOQ2-9Hh7UUHPasVEc0DdM1C8SEwHubjFC8Waw2_0FPgl1DYNj5_DqU 0OeoQNil_p9QBgUzTZJSrVozclRu53DuPL_RdR0AhYvbWs3SEl gwwZWrQgEPoEjFAuruoLpGYDX7ieK_hDinIlWbwt=w522-h927-no

[Mullsha]

What?? I like you curly hair picture. The color brings out your eyes and the curls frame your face nicely. I'll be honest with you when my hair was around that length I did not much care for it either. It took me until waist length to start liking it again, but I think that had more to do with the weight being added to my hair.
anyways I like your hair I'm not seeing what you don't like about it. As for the flat on top as does mine! When I'm using the Conditioner only method though I do get small waves around my head.

[turtlelover]

I like the 2nd picture after the trim. It is in the first picture where it seemed it had gotten to a length that just didn't work anymore.

[Mullsha]

Ahh well actually I like that one too it has soft waves that seem to be weighed down just a bit. If I could see a bit better I'm sure I could find more, but do you think it could be that it's just because it's not long enough? Or are you wanting a length around BSL? Also if you hair is anything like mine it reeally likes to be moisturized and that helps a lot.

[Asha]

It does look lovely now. Love your curls. In the before picture was it brushed? I know if I wear my waves down and bush them out I sort of get the same look. Flat on top with less curl.

[turtlelover]

I really wanted at least waist, but it just gets sooo weighed down much past APL. I never see damage, even when I have tangle issues. My hair likes moisture, but can be easily overconditioned.

[turtlelover]

And I forgot to add that yes, it was brushed out in the first picture, but the flatness at the crown happens when it gets longer even when I don't brush it.

[Asha]

Yeah that's from the weight in general I suppose. When mine gets limp I try a protein treatment and that helps bring some bounce back. There's been an overall loosening of curl from the weight, I'm almost bsl, but I can usually get a good amount of volume with the diffuser on my blow drier. If your hair is well moisturized that's a safe thing to try when your starting to get unhappy with it next time you feel it's getting to flat before the scissors come out. What are your favorite products to use? Maybe as it gets longer you'll just need to change your routine a little?

[Obsidian]

I love your curls, so soft and pretty. Could you keep the face framing layers and still grow the back longer?

[turtlelover]

Yeah that's from the weight in general I suppose. When mine gets limp I try a protein treatment and that helps bring some bounce back. There's been an overall loosening of curl from the weight, I'm almost bsl, but I can usually get a good amount of volume with the diffuser on my blow drier. If your hair is well moisturized that's a safe thing to try when your starting to get unhappy with it next time you feel it's getting to flat before the scissors come out. What are your favorite products to use? Maybe as it gets longer you'll just need to change your routine a little?

You are probably right about needing to change my routine. Before the last cut w/ more layers, I could brush out my hair w/out frizz, even though it would get somewhat flat on top, but the last girl that cut it point cut it a lot on the layers, and while it looks nice now when styled curly, it looks horrid when I brush it out, so 2nd day hair is a battle. I need to find some way to deal with my hair on the days when I don't wash. Also, it gets much more flat on top when I air dry than when I blow dry, even w/ the new layered cut.

[turtlelover]

I love your curls, so soft and pretty. Could you keep the face framing layers and still grow the back longer?

Thanks. Yes, I think I need some form of face framing, though I adore the look of a curtain of flowing hair on others.

[Wildcat Diva]

Why on earth does your profile lie about your age? You are NOT 40, impossible.

[beraemcclary]

I think your hair is gorgeous! Awesome color, texture, thickness, length. Have you considered growing out your bangs, though? I feel like that might give you a more classic, timeless silhouette perhaps.

[turtlelover]

I think your hair is gorgeous! Awesome color, texture, thickness, length. Have you considered growing out your bangs, though? I feel like that might give you a more classic, timeless silhouette perhaps.

I too like the look of no bangs, but sadly, I have grooves on my forhead that I don't like, and I like to hide them! HAHA!!! I think bangs take off about 10 years, or I'd love to be rid of them, because they are a pain! I've found I like them best a bit wispy and choppy. I've tried side bangs and they are a no go with my hair -- they just do NOT stay put.

[turtlelover]

Why on earth does your profile lie about your age? You are NOT 40, impossible.

I actually have a lot of gray that I hide with semi color, so yeah I really am 40. But, thanks!!! LOL

[Arctic]

No photos? Did you remove them?

[bunneh.]

I guess loosing volume comes with length as hair weighs more. I believe I've read a lot of curly and wavy people experience stretching of their waves and curls as their hair grows longer. I can't speak for myself personally because my hair is straight and I never had a lot of volume on top. If you want waist length hair I suggest you try growing it out to see how it will look like and improve your hair care routine as you're waiting then decide if you like it, if you want to grow it longer or perhaps cut a bit shorter.

[lapushka]

I think both pics look great - it really depends on what you're going for.

I recently sacrificed some length, going back from a bit after classic to classic length. And I felt much much better. 1/ easier to deal with 2/ the length suits me better 3/ waves still come out when I want them to.

Hmm... hard decisions.

Have you ever tried compact cutting? Cutting your own layers via the ponytail techniques:
1/ on the top of your head (even layers throughout)
2/ on the top of your forehead (short layers, with one longer one at the back)

[Arctic]

Are the photos for friends only, because I can't see any?

[lithostoic]

I don't really see the difference or what you're talking about.

[Wildcat Diva]

I actually have a lot of gray that I hide with semi color, so yeah I really am 40. But, thanks!!! LOL

I was was more going by your beautiful, youthful face than the hair... But you go ahead and tell me you have got some wrinkles hidden in there somewhere too... I just don't buy it. :D

[arr]

Im not sure how to explain this but the longer your hair gets the less it interferes with how your face looks. Right now your hair is short enough and layered enough to be all around your face. Say you are able to grow to waist length. Even with layers, your hair will probably mostly stay behind you or you will wear it up more often so it won't have as much impact on your appearance. It becomes more of a blank slate, a neutral backdrop, as opposed to a "hairstyle". It becomes more about long hair itself because you love it, not because it does something for you appearance wise. At that point I find a person needs to get really comfortable with their face because it's going to show. This is just my opinion of course, others may see it differently.

I like how you look in both pictures. Your bangs are cute, and if you do grow to waist and wear your hair up more often, bangs with updos helps frame the face and soften the look.

[missmagoo]

Im not sure how to explain this but the longer your hair gets the less it interferes with how your face looks. Right now your hair is short enough and layered enough to be all around your face. Say you are able to grow to waist length. Even with layers, your hair will probably mostly stay behind you or you will wear it up more often so it won't have as much impact on your appearance. It becomes more of a blank slate, a neutral backdrop, as opposed to a "hairstyle". It becomes more about long hair itself because you love it, not because it does something for you appearance wise. At that point I find a person needs to get really comfortable with their face because it's going to show. This is just my opinion of course, others may see it differently.

I like how you look in both pictures. Your bangs are cute, and if you do grow to waist and wear your hair up more often, bangs with updos helps frame the face and soften the look.

I totally agree with this. I actually hadn't quite put it into words this way before though. This is why many women don't have long hair as they age, I think. For me, I am (almost) 35, and I purposefully do not want a trendy haircut anymore. Most of my friends have short angled bobs that, to me, are total 'mom hair'. As a mom of two little kids myself, I like being different.

I am about and inch past waist, though I am really long torsoed so my hair is pretty long. At your length, I started wearing my hair up a lot more. I think I look better with my hair up, my clothes/outfits look better with it up, etc. then, once it grows more, you might like it down again for awhile.

[school of fish]

turtlelover, I have a thought. I don't usually comment on these sorts of things because there's so much personal preference at play, but since you're specifically requesting opinions I'll throw my 2 cents in :)

To my eye it's not an issue of length - but there's something about the interplay between the bangs and the rest that I feel is not *quite* doing its best for you. Honestly, I think your hair, its colour, its texture, everything about that looks beautiful, whether brushed out or with more defined waves. And with that beautiful face and endearing smile too, the effect is really pretty :)

I think maybe for me it's the spot where the bang ends and the length begins - you've got the bangs really pitched forward and the length is angled straight back from there... I feel there needs to be a bridge of some sort between that divide, which would make the whole look come together no matter what length you choose :)

Being upwards of 40 myself (43 ;) ) I definitely get the desire for some faceframe. Would you consider a double layer bang? I actually had that for a while when I started to grow out a section of my too-heavy-self-trimmed bangs and it looked super cute! Basically what I had in the bang section was an underlayer which was shorter, about brow length, and an overlayer which was a couple inches longer - maybe cheekbone level or so? Even though it was a stage of growout for me it looked deliberately styled, gave me the appearance of more volume around the face, and felt playful and fun.

An approach like that may help bridge the visual distance between your bangs and length, and allow you to feel comfortable growing to whatever length you want :) It might help you to achieve that more 'styled' look of the second pic but at a longer length :)

Just a thought, offered lovingly :)

[RavennaNight]

The length that you had in the top picture is the length that is very awkward for me personally, and was the length were when I was initially growing out my hair, everyone was telling me to cut because it was "too long for my face." I'm not saying that is the case for you, but you may be feeling awkward about the length because it is no longer short, but it isn't long either. This was around the time I found up dos and wore it up a bit to push past the length with minimal comments from others.

Your hair and face (wow, 40? Really??? Are you sure you didn't accidentally add a decade or two on your profile info by accident???) is very different than mine, and you have those cute bangs, so I'm just letting you know what was my experience at that length. For me it was very awkward.

[lapushka]

Being upwards of 40 myself (43 ;) ) I definitely get the desire for some faceframe. Would you consider a double layer bang? I actually had that for a while when I started to grow out a section of my too-heavy-self-trimmed bangs and it looked super cute! Basically what I had in the bang section was an underlayer which was shorter, about brow length, and an overlayer which was a couple inches longer - maybe cheekbone level or so? Even though it was a stage of growout for me it looked deliberately styled, gave me the appearance of more volume around the face, and felt playful and fun.

I'm 43 going on 44, and for me it's totally different. I wear a LWB all the time, without bangs. But some people actually *love* bangs, why I'll never know. :lol: Maybe she likes it that way, and there's nothing wrong with the bangs at all, IMO? :shrug:

[school of fish]

I'm 43 going on 44, and for me it's totally different. I wear a LWB all the time, without bangs. But some people actually *love* bangs, why I'll never know. :lol: Maybe she likes it that way, and there's nothing wrong with the bangs at all, IMO? :shrug:

Haha, yes the bang/no bang/style of bang thing is most definitely personal preference for sure! But since the OP indicated she likes having bangs/faceframe I just wanted to throw in a suggestion she may not have thought of before, just for more choice as she's collecting opinions :)

[Wildcat Diva]

School of Fish, it's a very good suggestion you made. I will not do bangs myself. But many people love them. The OP may love them.

(Me, I love my widow's peak too much, and I am influenced by my husband who has a very strong negative bang sentiment. Plus, wavy/whurly hair makes for crappy bangs pretty much, huh?)

[school of fish]

School of Fish, it's a very good suggestion you made. I will not do bangs myself. But many people love them. The OP may love them.

(Me, I love my widow's peak too much, and I am influenced by my husband who has a very strong negative bang sentiment. Plus, wavy/whurly hair makes for crappy bangs pretty much, huh?)

Wildcat Diva would you believe that I love widow's peaks so much that in my teens I plucked one into my hairline??!!! Yup. Hadn't considered the maintenance or regrowth on that one... ;)

Sorry for the hijack, I just felt I had to share that bit of lunacy from my youth, haha!

[turtlelover]

These are all interesting ideas. I actually do have some shorter pieces that blend into the bangs better now (after the 2nd, more layered cut) but they are kind of hard to see. I'll see if I can get a picture of that section so you can see what I am talking about. I didn't like my bangs in the top photo (too blocky and straight across) but I kind of like them now since they are a little choppier and angles down at the sides. They are bunching up kind of funny in the 2nd selfie, but if they weren't, you could probably see the subtle change.

[mermaiden_hair]

I used to think that medium to short-ish hair looked the best for my face, but I was dead wrong and it just looks terrible on me now. Shorter hair in general puts your face on full focus, and if you have any flaws at all, even minuscule ones, it'll show, and it won't be pretty. With this neck length hair of mine, suddenly I can see dark circles from being up late with my partner (and early morning shifts for work), worn out skin from living in Ireland with no sun here, and so on. You are a very beautiful woman, OP, but I do understand the struggle. I also understand about the whole length = stretched out curls and trouble with maintaining volume, but here are some suggestions:

- Put your hair in an upward bun when you go to sleep. This will give you amazing volume in the morning. You can even fluff from your scalp with your fingers for even more ridiculous volume. :D
- Have you considered clipping your roots? I love using these clamps (http://www.frizzoff.com/33-Roller-Jaw-Clamps.aspx) on my roots while it air dries or using a hair blower to blast heat on top of my head before I take them out. Even with super long hair, you are always able to clip your roots for volume.
- Invest in a hair diffuser to awaken your waves and curls even if they are stretched out from the length.

I know that shorter hair is popular because it kind of takes care of the curl defining and volume problem by itself, but at the same time, it comes with its own problems and long hair celebrates a woman's beauty in a way that not even expensive makeup or fancy clothes can do for her. I wished I never cut my hair so short, but what's done is done. Your haircut looks great, by the way! I am wondering also, did you went to a curl specialized stylist? Like did you go to, say, a Deva curl salon or something? They can also help you with your curls as you grow it out. I hope I helped a bit! *blush*

[spidermom]

Oh my goodness; picture #2 is sooooo pretty!

I wear my hair up so often that I have to consider how that looks on me more than how the long hair worn down looks on me.

[Stray_mind]

I think your hair is really pretty and it really looks nice on you. I would do something with those bangs if i were you though. I haven't seen you without the bangs, but i think side sweapt bangs or no bangs would look better. Just my personal oppinion. :) :blossom:

[AJNinami]

Wildcat Diva would you believe that I love widow's peaks so much that in my teens I plucked one into my hairline??!!! Yup. Hadn't considered the maintenance or regrowth on that one... ;)

Sorry for the hijack, I just felt I had to share that bit of lunacy from my youth, haha!

Would you believe my friend waxes hers away? The maintenance for her is rough haha. (I think she looks beautiful either way)

As for the OP, I think what school of fish said was right. Bangs actually make your hair look longer and more dramatic if there is a blunt end to them. It seems you like to wear your hair flipped in front of you, so that could be the issue you're seeing. I was told my hair looked like curtains when it was longer with no layers. Then as soon as I cut in face-framing layers everyone loved my hair.

[turtlelover]

Back view. You can sort of see the weight starting to pull out the waves, though I can deal with that as long as it look OK on my face from the front.
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/4XzlJ4f3GidsSkzy9P2No-NuBhXdXEu_sYbKK5pyBfvMD4j5CK2jrCaPHZDYd6a2qwU7N7IE 4DCaseofYbWxAr_GPR92ulcJS1qIG_S3IBKOSKyc3k5b30TtEZ K-V_P5izjKRrKOWxuZOAeK8opJMir5MM8sp4NYh6HoPhVcua9VFn 8NgYM2wrqDjJ5uK21m6mRWqGsmjBLUsdKx5L8U6VF14PkbdoV4 LNXHMjbKNeqQp1tPYVMnxbVEQg_og7DMYSABWLQhRt1crLnP5o ZYZJ6aWTwM0jkjvL6lm3pddUHCvJIzzX4L3vLgiOiJZVaPscUv disfoXwMIYmdmoCAI9Wv9BLd7ICim3aQILjuQ_B6f2TfsNxPxU R6sQY09Ik71v7-1SU3XC5RpNiYR8MO7YKt9rKOXZrl-6I8uDQvjkDviDiS_TWl6_-MNeYvknweja3ltiTSshWHnKnrPGnLjCnEXRtiuJTXkd5wCVTJt IQnBNMK3HTGTzHxLUB5Jimr_cObIOcRBwvBhLi3AgSHBNeGUl6 VSSNQEfQZL45BLU222B0KQS2xab4lflkiVwsEFwEp=w522-h927-no

[turtlelover]

Oh, and here is a pic from around 5 years ago when my hair was shorter. You can see how much my hair USED to curl with less weight on it! Of course, the front section was pinned up there, so that might have given it a little lift as well.
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/G3iS8vw2CDQ3vVW5qA5A24CtTL2RBoGDHXr6v6WvUBrxmu0f1-wEV_cva_olyPjigaSBU7s7uOQfih39bDENBbU0Pi3vrFTefxq7 Qmka3DP6x4kvpurGFOlkA7afywwEtjp7ZCsoibHAQYlclhq6LT dLt9Rq6jwRfduk8JRCjlvmJ6IbPKmqviJ_2vf0oCBNJJHhZTwt goBzNCq9oJ1C77SzfYzB-37fvacfw9D5DVgUX595guIjbioroNmtarsDwRixS5nWBP2zx9H 59wr8nhb5ud7JCWcDe3t5-b5StHXcrBgCDJ63e2D9R_xbnT1zmB0sn5gNEJn7OT-46q6eEgMbiSpY0IbyhPGht8oXFp_pYida7at7MHrMwd7GmksAm kq1G6hBuWv7rOb1hO_lOtIZ5vc-3qoAU5wcUXlTBrwAFpc0WwCPJUzjlsVFp-SeKU7P7uDAn8Bgf65TggQYaG4ieXm0xc2IvjBANS0yjX6Ywl51 SH3TOo6Pc29LFKapgChp2pfiGVVr0T6p2vmwb-PQu24WiTUDDoEHPI079hP_pKjQMKD8B_FTGhM_nuo__Sii=w87 0-h927-no

[HeartofHaleth]

My goodness, you have lovely eyes! I think you should try and stick with it a while longer. I remember that length being pretty tough to get through, and I wasn't really paying attention to my hair then! Eventually the desire to chop it back to chin began to be outweighed by enjoyment of the length I was at.

[LongCurlyTress]

[QUOTE=mermaiden_hair;3179413] "...long hair celebrates a woman's beauty in a way that not even expensive makeup or fancy clothes can do for her." I love what you said here mermaiden_hair!!

OP I love your bangs and I too have curly hair and think I look better in bangs for about a minute... until the wind blows, rains, humidity, forehead sweating, just getting on my nerves due to lack of sleep... I know the dilemma of long hair and does this look really flatter my face?
All this being said, imo my hair is a part of my body, now that it is tickling my lower back and it is not so much about looks as the appreciation of having very long hair, (for me TBL is very long hair.) I would say, continue growing your hair and maybe experiment with some buns, french twists, updos... Leaving your hair just down imo is not as exciting as putting your hair up and then the eye is naturally drawn upwards to the hairdo. Your bangs really do flatter your green eyes, but without bangs your eyes might stand out even more. I have forehead lines too, but I have earned them and wear them proudly. ;)

ETA And... your hair is the perfect length for a lovely french braid!! ;):blossom:

[lapushka]

Back view. You can sort of see the weight starting to pull out the waves, though I can deal with that as long as it look OK on my face from the front.
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/4XzlJ4f3GidsSkzy9P2No-NuBhXdXEu_sYbKK5pyBfvMD4j5CK2jrCaPHZDYd6a2qwU7N7IE 4DCaseofYbWxAr_GPR92ulcJS1qIG_S3IBKOSKyc3k5b30TtEZ K-V_P5izjKRrKOWxuZOAeK8opJMir5MM8sp4NYh6HoPhVcua9VFn 8NgYM2wrqDjJ5uK21m6mRWqGsmjBLUsdKx5L8U6VF14PkbdoV4 LNXHMjbKNeqQp1tPYVMnxbVEQg_og7DMYSABWLQhRt1crLnP5o ZYZJ6aWTwM0jkjvL6lm3pddUHCvJIzzX4L3vLgiOiJZVaPscUv disfoXwMIYmdmoCAI9Wv9BLd7ICim3aQILjuQ_B6f2TfsNxPxU R6sQY09Ik71v7-1SU3XC5RpNiYR8MO7YKt9rKOXZrl-6I8uDQvjkDviDiS_TWl6_-MNeYvknweja3ltiTSshWHnKnrPGnLjCnEXRtiuJTXkd5wCVTJt IQnBNMK3HTGTzHxLUB5Jimr_cObIOcRBwvBhLi3AgSHBNeGUl6 VSSNQEfQZL45BLU222B0KQS2xab4lflkiVwsEFwEp=w522-h927-no

At that length waves don't get pulled out that much yet. It's usually longer lengths that actually do that. 2-hair takes up until APL/BSL to form nicely. So it might just be the texture of your hair.

[Kimberly]

My hair got flatter on top and didn't look as face-flattering on me when it got longer, but it looks so pretty long that it's a good trade off. When it got long enough to be a nuisance and danger to itself leaving it down all the time, and I got in the habit of updos, I learned I could make an updo with a face-flattering shape. For me, a little height helps, so I learned to make a bit of a pouf on top (initially by doing half-ups, or less-than-half) with a barrette or slide. Since then, I mostly go with a Gibson-ish topknot, with some added sideways width, too. Maybe some updo experiments will give you a face-flattering look, something like loose side rolls or twists?

[Wildcat Diva]

Wildcat Diva would you believe that I love widow's peaks so much that in my teens I plucked one into my hairline??!!! Yup. Hadn't considered the maintenance or regrowth on that one... ;)

Sorry for the hijack, I just felt I had to share that bit of lunacy from my youth, haha!


Would you believe my friend waxes hers away? The maintenance for her is rough haha. (I think she looks beautiful either way)

.

Omg and omg!

[rhosyn_du]

My hair got flatter on top and didn't look as face-flattering on me when it got longer, but it looks so pretty long that it's a good trade off. When it got long enough to be a nuisance and danger to itself leaving it down all the time, and I got in the habit of updos, I learned I could make an updo with a face-flattering shape. For me, a little height helps, so I learned to make a bit of a pouf on top (initially by doing half-ups, or less-than-half) with a barrette or slide. Since then, I mostly go with a Gibson-ish topknot, with some added sideways width, too. Maybe some updo experiments will give you a face-flattering look, something like loose side rolls or twists?

This is what I was thinking, as well. I definitely look better with some top and side-to-side volume, and I had a lot of luck incorporating Edwardian twists (gathered at the crown to keep the volume high on my head) and accent braids across the top crown-braid-style into my updos when my hair was long enough for them.

[henné]

Why can't I see any pictures?

[turtlelover]

A couple of people have said the same thing about the photos not showing up, but then almost everyone else seems to be able to see them just fine. I have no idea, everything looks fine here.

[luxurioushair]

The most important question is: you don't look good to whom exactly? Do you like your hair?

[turtlelover]

The most important question is: you don't look good to whom exactly? Do you like your hair?

I like it now -- I just want to find some ways to keep liking it as it gets longer. I definitely don't want to go back to my chin length bob, though if my hair doesn't look good as it gets longer, I would consider keeping it around APL where it is now after the last trim. I do think that I need to find some products to enhance the waves more now that my hair is getting heavier. I didn't have to worry about product when my hair was shorter, but this is changing for sure! Ideally, I'd like to get to waist while embracing and enhancing my natural texture. I am just kind of clueless when it comes to products other than your typical shampoo/conditioners, and oils, and what seems to work on truly curly hair doesn't seem to work on my waves as they get longer.

[turtlelover]

OK.....at the suggestion of a forum member, I am trying plopping with a t--shirt overnight w/ some leave in conditioner and gel. I will post a photo of the result tomorrow, however good or bad! LOL!!!!!

[turtlelover]

OK.....plopping did nothing to overcome my waves pulling out w/ the additional weight of my growing hair. Maybe I need to go cone free??? Stronger products??? Plopping photo....
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/cMPVjV8qcqvwC7U2r-rr321LbXYW-W4XJmon57b_pkgq9qVynK5ONW1H2GcnLJJx4hjjaOBHqSzrmZy SRDdyvG0Bi0PBXE2oLze45XaBQ_LPFFgLaz6oOKWZnhawBcgfB tgiCGaiuUVvPm1DqAD9r4tdVJkQ1sIr-3sNyUPpCa8CfFfJcJWTvuWEX9oRgq57bbdIKmum6GPgQn6DTZh qUf64_C0khADw3dJaB12b3beeldPoUlXQf3tGilRYDKkYUxZgK jQXWQYn3Ia4_r7MaohjcfN51eXbbWkgVLtm8b82dauh1fQJnzk h8OE2sYAmZIpkj1kqOvg47RBb5js0YhkQFNsCrVp58Cf9e3h9a sHjLpdvsxoPb0wW6Z8-aAX4RmMYbHHQaSL1L-AM6QZ8JSXWlMYfQ-9I5GhqiRcLgGWdsfaGamrMdfFT26NHbNm0iMd9e5g6QcuIzkJE IWS_93BD1UdUtG0UFxTu90OJHKNG_JOKYZkxAKl-7AmkhNMeDGm6RsJpMhenYu9CJG5soHWTFm5PsLeqCfRBVuGKPR wxoL4dOlm93QiDEyGdMI3KsJKg=w522-h927-no

[Arctic]

That photo I can see, and I think it looks really pretty!

[turtlelover]

That photo I can see, and I think it looks really pretty!

Thanks! I don't think it looks exactly BAD now, but I am just trying to figure out why my curls disappeared! I wonder if the semi dye I use could be pulling out some curl since it coats the hair? I hadn't really considered that.

[lapushka]

Thanks! I don't think it looks exactly BAD now, but I am just trying to figure out why my curls disappeared! I wonder if the semi dye I use could be pulling out some curl since it coats the hair? I hadn't really considered that.

2b/c is hardly "curls"; let's be real, here. I think it looks good for 2b/c hair. Did you at one time have more definition than 2b/c? Because if not, I think this is about what you can expect for that length. :flower:

[turtlelover]

2b/c is hardly "curls"; let's be real, here. I think it looks good for 2b/c hair. Did you at one time have more definition than 2b/c? Because if not, I think this is about what you can expect for that length. :flower:

Yeah, actually I was probably a 3A at one point with some legitimate spirals throughout most of my hair. I think the top layer was probably 2C and not "real" curls, but it could still do a lot more than it is doing now with some coaxing. It could be aging, color, cut -- a variety of things.....hard to tell! People actually used to think I had a perm and you would not think that now. I am OK with having straighter hair, I just don't really know what to do with it! Maybe I just need to go w/ a looser, messier, beachier vibe nowadays.

[lapushka]

I use the LOC/LCO method on my hair for styling and coaxing out the waves (leave-in, followed by a serum, followed by a dollop of gel, spread through palms, then scrunched in). It works well for me, of course I don't need to expect miracles with my texture.

[cathair]

OK.....plopping did nothing to overcome my waves pulling out w/ the additional weight of my growing hair. Maybe I need to go cone free??? Stronger products??? Plopping photo....
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/cMPVjV8qcqvwC7U2r-rr321LbXYW-W4XJmon57b_pkgq9qVynK5ONW1H2GcnLJJx4hjjaOBHqSzrmZy SRDdyvG0Bi0PBXE2oLze45XaBQ_LPFFgLaz6oOKWZnhawBcgfB tgiCGaiuUVvPm1DqAD9r4tdVJkQ1sIr-3sNyUPpCa8CfFfJcJWTvuWEX9oRgq57bbdIKmum6GPgQn6DTZh qUf64_C0khADw3dJaB12b3beeldPoUlXQf3tGilRYDKkYUxZgK jQXWQYn3Ia4_r7MaohjcfN51eXbbWkgVLtm8b82dauh1fQJnzk h8OE2sYAmZIpkj1kqOvg47RBb5js0YhkQFNsCrVp58Cf9e3h9a sHjLpdvsxoPb0wW6Z8-aAX4RmMYbHHQaSL1L-AM6QZ8JSXWlMYfQ-9I5GhqiRcLgGWdsfaGamrMdfFT26NHbNm0iMd9e5g6QcuIzkJE IWS_93BD1UdUtG0UFxTu90OJHKNG_JOKYZkxAKl-7AmkhNMeDGm6RsJpMhenYu9CJG5soHWTFm5PsLeqCfRBVuGKPR wxoL4dOlm93QiDEyGdMI3KsJKg=w522-h927-no

'cones pull most of the wave/curl out of my hair. If I finger comb it when it's wet with cones it ends up straight but not pin straight. I don't actually mind though. Perhaps giving them a miss for the next few washes it worth a shot?

For what it's worth though, I didn't think you're hair looked flat in either picture. At all.

[browneyedsusan]

Puh-leez! You're adorable!

Still, I get what you're feeling. Long hair doesn't really suit my face, either. (Bangs or face framing layers would help, but they're such a giant PITA. :rolleyes: I can't be bothered with either.) My hair is straight and fine, and prefers to lay like it's been plastered down.

I don't give a rip. I like it long because it's fun to mess with. Some girls prefer having their hair in a "style", and go to the hairdresser to keep it looking nice; but that isn't for me. I like having thousands of styles, and wearing it loose sometimes. I don't get compliments on my "prettiness", "attractiveness" or anything like that -- I'm older, and that ship has sailed! lol! -- ; but I get lots on my hair if I wear it loose.

When I look in the mirror, my hair and face get along, but the hair doesn't help my face any. It's okay. I look good enough, and I'm happy when my hair is long.

IMHO, you're darling. You can grow your hair out longer if you want to, or cut it back, and you'd still be darling. It's your hair, and it ought to make you happy. :)

[turtlelover]

'cones pull most of the wave/curl out of my hair. If I finger comb it when it's wet with cones it ends up straight but not pin straight. I don't actually mind though. Perhaps giving them a miss for the next few washes it worth a shot?

For what it's worth though, I didn't think you're hair looked flat in either picture. At all.

Last time I tried going w/out cones, I had big tangle issues but I might give it a different shot w/ some different products. It is worth a try!

[turtlelover]

Puh-leez! You're adorable!

Still, I get what you're feeling. Long hair doesn't really suit my face, either. (Bangs or face framing layers would help, but they're such a giant PITA. :rolleyes: I can't be bothered with either.) My hair is straight and fine, and prefers to lay like it's been plastered down.

I don't give a rip. I like it long because it's fun to mess with. Some girls prefer having their hair in a "style", and go to the hairdresser to keep it looking nice; but that isn't for me. I like having thousands of styles, and wearing it loose sometimes. I don't get compliments on my "prettiness", "attractiveness" or anything like that -- I'm older, and that ship has sailed! lol! -- ; but I get lots on my hair if I wear it loose.

When I look in the mirror, my hair and face get along, but the hair doesn't help my face any. It's okay. I look good enough, and I'm happy when my hair is long.

IMHO, you're darling. You can grow your hair out longer if you want to, or cut it back, and you'd still be darling. It's your hair, and it ought to make you happy. :)

Good thoughts! I think my curls look best around collar bone length, honestly, because they can fully form but not look weighed down, but then I miss out on all of the fun updos, etc., that you can do with long hair, plus, I just like the look/feel of long hair better -- at least until I go to detangle it! HAHA Short, short hair I cannot pull off unless I'm ultra thin, and I'm kind of average-ish now, so my face doesn't look angular enough to not look like a bowling ball when I'm much above shoulder length! LOL

[Kimberly]

Thanks! I don't think it looks exactly BAD now, but I am just trying to figure out why my curls disappeared! I wonder if the semi dye I use could be pulling out some curl since it coats the hair? I hadn't really considered that.

That is entirely possible -- has happened to me. I have lost curl in the past to henna, other coating dyes, conditioner (too heavy for the fineness, so I gave the stuff up altogether), cones (dries my hair, and dry hair gives me straight frizz), oils (unless I only use a tiny bit on the ends or as a pre-wash), and most other products, too. My hair doesn't like to have anything on it -- it wants to be literally squeaky clean for the best curl. It also tangles less without product in it -- though I know that isn't typical. The degree of curliness also changes with humidity levels. You might find your hair looks straighter in the winter, when the heating dries out the air. Good luck :-)

[rosey4exclaim]

I have definitely struggled with these sorts of feelings. For me, though, it has been about going with what I truly think is beautiful and ignoring what the rest of the world thinks is beautiful. Do I look "better" with short, layered hair and side bangs? According to our society, maybe. But I love my hair long and flowing and all one length so it will stay in an updo. That's how I feel about my hair. I'm willing to look "old fashioned" or even "dated" in order to be satisfied and at peace with my personal appearance. Perhaps that's not for you. Perhaps in order to feel satisfied and at peace with your appearance, you need a more modern look. That's totally okay. You can like the way something looks on someone else and hate the way it looks on you. The point is to be at peace with your body, both the way it is inherently and the way in which you alter it.

[cathair]

Last time I tried going w/out cones, I had big tangle issues but I might give it a different shot w/ some different products. It is worth a try!

It's an annoying trade off :( I did okay with L'oreal cone free conditioner. But can't lie, doing back to cones was a relief. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed them. I think cone free is okay if your really on top of yours splits. Your ends look heaps better than mine and they are freshly cut, so you might fair okay. I guess the only way to know is to clarify and try it.

[turtlelover]

That is entirely possible -- has happened to me. I have lost curl in the past to henna, other coating dyes, conditioner (too heavy for the fineness, so I gave the stuff up altogether), cones (dries my hair, and dry hair gives me straight frizz), oils (unless I only use a tiny bit on the ends or as a pre-wash), and most other products, too. My hair doesn't like to have anything on it -- it wants to be literally squeaky clean for the best curl. It also tangles less without product in it -- though I know that isn't typical. The degree of curliness also changes with humidity levels. You might find your hair looks straighter in the winter, when the heating dries out the air. Good luck :-)
OK, then maybe I am not nuts, because I swear since I started using semi dye, I've had much straighter hair. I had heard of henna pulling curl out of hair, but not conventional dye, but if it is coating the hair shaft with polymer, it would make sense.

[turtlelover]

I have definitely struggled with these sorts of feelings. For me, though, it has been about going with what I truly think is beautiful and ignoring what the rest of the world thinks is beautiful. Do I look "better" with short, layered hair and side bangs? According to our society, maybe. But I love my hair long and flowing and all one length so it will stay in an updo. That's how I feel about my hair. I'm willing to look "old fashioned" or even "dated" in order to be satisfied and at peace with my personal appearance. Perhaps that's not for you. Perhaps in order to feel satisfied and at peace with your appearance, you need a more modern look. That's totally okay. You can like the way something looks on someone else and hate the way it looks on you. The point is to be at peace with your body, both the way it is inherently and the way in which you alter it.
Makes sense to me. Good thoughts!

[turtlelover]

It's an annoying trade off :( I did okay with L'oreal cone free conditioner. But can't lie, doing back to cones was a relief. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed them. I think cone free is okay if your really on top of yours splits. Your ends look heaps better than mine and they are freshly cut, so you might fair okay. I guess the only way to know is to clarify and try it.
I've never had a problem with damage, even when my hair was MUCH longer in past years, but the tangles are what really drives me insane! I love, love, love slippery cone conditioners, and serums! If I blow dry my hair straight, I don't get any tangles, but if I leave it wavy or curly at ALL, any sort of brushing or combing is just a disaster, and that is amplified if I don't use cones. That is the appeal of the blow dried straight look to me -- just being able to brush your hair and play with it anytime you want with no repercussions or frizz! I think wavy/curly hair is more flattering on my face, but if the straight hair looked great on me, I swear I would ALWAYS blow it out, cause it just looks so nice and shiny and swingy when straight, and it is so fun to play with it.

[chen bao jun]

Seems like you are saying that you think you look better with wavy or curly hair rather than straight hair, rather than discussing the length per se. Sounds as if you want length but don't want it to drag your curls out (or for your hair dye to take your curls away).

It also sounds like you love hair height. This is always interesting for me to hear, as I spend half my life trying NOT to have hair height--I look like I'm wearing a bumpit no matter what I do, I can't get it to go flat..

If I were you, i would explore curl enhancing methods more. (Sounds like you have explored them to some extent). And you do always have the option to do layers so that your hair is short enough to curl in the front, but long in the back.

I am at the point where length has made my curls looser and I don't like this much (though they would still be tight compared to you at your curliest)--anyway, I feel ya.

[browneyedsusan]

I have definitely struggled with these sorts of feelings. For me, though, it has been about going with what I truly think is beautiful and ignoring what the rest of the world thinks is beautiful. Do I look "better" with short, layered hair and side bangs? According to our society, maybe. But I love my hair long and flowing and all one length so it will stay in an updo. That's how I feel about my hair. I'm willing to look "old fashioned" or even "dated" in order to be satisfied and at peace with my personal appearance. Perhaps that's not for you. Perhaps in order to feel satisfied and at peace with your appearance, you need a more modern look. That's totally okay. You can like the way something looks on someone else and hate the way it looks on you. The point is to be at peace with your body, both the way it is inherently and the way in which you alter it.

:applause:

Well said, rosey4exclaim.

[rhosyn_du]

Last time I tried going w/out cones, I had big tangle issues but I might give it a different shot w/ some different products. It is worth a try!

I recommend trying some products with marshmallow root. It adds a ton of slip (I personally find it better than cones in that regard, but not everyone does) without pulling out curl. I especially like Kinky-Curly Knot Today, which is a leave-in designed for curly hair that contains marshmallow root.

[turtlelover]

I recommend trying some products with marshmallow root. It adds a ton of slip (I personally find it better than cones in that regard, but not everyone does) without pulling out curl. I especially like Kinky-Curly Knot Today, which is a leave-in designed for curly hair that contains marshmallow root.

I don't think I've ever tried that ingredient. I will have to give it a go! One thing that I am learning is that I'm better off just not detangling after I've rinsed out my conditioner, and am trying to do all detangling w/ conditioner in my hair in the shower now, when it is much more slippery. After getting out of the shower, I'm better off limiting manipulation to finger combing if I don't want to destroy my wave pattern. I did try plopping yesterday and it helped a bit. I am also going to go back to the curly girl method for a bit and give that another try. My biggest challenge with trying to enhance my waves and not straighten my hair or brush the waves out is 2nd day hair! I always look horrid on my 2nd day of going wavy. Of course, I could always put up my hair and forget about it.

[turtlelover]

I am actually starting to wonder if brushed out waves work better with my hair. It seemed too poofy when I brushed out the waves before the latest layers, but I think it kind of works now. It looks less shiny brushed out, but has more volume. Hmmmm....decisions, decisons.....
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/oDev-7xjS16j_PLaoXPi0vRyWYTfVGpUtca9Gl6_V8TQAnbdKCopvfS DdYtmrIkLxKLb5T-M0pmfepUT7nKHqKMhF5oZpIwP9al89uEl58SU6KJAzX4n0VQad DhFfC9kAp-f-4Q-zbwpYsAWDty92TVMIlKhiRqMhTP4VM2O54gSqm_VZ9RI5I2yt9 qee3vM0y4j7trpjSlN2Uv5LQ_7qpuwQuIPIWc0y-YLEZDRNtx91oe_egHST1W0eLs3_UoFj0GKrnVqtptGxdPVS5s7 jt2Bdx2KwAKjEGfliAjz67-upq-dTjFMocC-6SwPyvE7Ni5b5p7nUS0bNiJ2GaPjfvN7xBr8LrX2qBsOsVk3tf BNBx0qerkkemqr5vkVkgU-LO-V7BR0WS3vxga9OSa1n6CrIB7Y-XHnCbEetqbT0GXeG3AWV9innXIHi-2AJAPmYFeOmy4Hs8poVM85lJjpMUtd595ldLAGmBwJVuSrPBKs gtzjxcXMwvXlwM6rmLa3TPBLKerDL7QheO1w4AO2WfKaFWt8j8 uZufuQ2iVwW9KMitPYUWYSXmZ100A7ACteqf55=w616-h927-no

[Darkhorse1]

I love both photos, but I think what I can see is that with your curls, and no layers, your hair got bulky. The key isn't not growing, but more finding a style that works for you with regards to managing your curls. Add to that, having natural curl all one length will likely create more tangles then having layers to disperse the curls. I hope you've found a style that works for your long hair goals. I love the bottom photo---and your profile photo looks great too :)

[spirals]

I like you better with the front of your hair curlier. When I brush my curls out into 2b waves, the front goes straight. That's remedied with wave clips and spray gel or a quick set on my Caruso rollers. In the latter case I brush out the resulting curls until I get "finger waves." Both methods are quick to set and while they dry I can be doing other things, like breakfast. If I want it wavier all over on second-day hair I use the Caruso curlers all over. (I have a full set.) Before I had that (thank you Anje!) I slept in soft curlers. I know that sounds so awful, but I got used to it and they didn't bother me because I set the perimeter, leaving the back of my head alone. I'm a back sleeper.

[spirals]

BTW, if you want to make anything yourself with marshmallow root, I have a partial bag on hand that I don't use anymore and I'd be happy to mail it to you.

[turtlelover]

BTW, if you want to make anything yourself with marshmallow root, I have a partial bag on hand that I don't use anymore and I'd be happy to mail it to you.

Oh thanks, that is really nice of you to offer. I might actually consider it, but I really, really need to use up some of my current product stash first. Hubby was complaining about my stash taking over the shower and bathroom yesterday! LOL

[turtlelover]

I love both photos, but I think what I can see is that with your curls, and no layers, your hair got bulky. The key isn't not growing, but more finding a style that works for you with regards to managing your curls. Add to that, having natural curl all one length will likely create more tangles then having layers to disperse the curls. I hope you've found a style that works for your long hair goals. I love the bottom photo---and your profile photo looks great too :)

Yeah, bulky is a good way of putting it, or bottom heavy. Flat where I want it poofy, and poofy where I want it flat. I honestly prefer the flow and look of one length, unlayered hair but layers definitely do look better w/ my waves for sure, sadly! haha

[turtlelover]

I like you better with the front of your hair curlier. When I brush my curls out into 2b waves, the front goes straight. That's remedied with wave clips and spray gel or a quick set on my Caruso rollers. In the latter case I brush out the resulting curls until I get "finger waves." Both methods are quick to set and while they dry I can be doing other things, like breakfast. If I want it wavier all over on second-day hair I use the Caruso curlers all over. (I have a full set.) Before I had that (thank you Anje!) I slept in soft curlers. I know that sounds so awful, but I got used to it and they didn't bother me because I set the perimeter, leaving the back of my head alone. I'm a back sleeper.

Yeah, I agree about needing waves around the face. The layers help a ton, but maybe if I eventually go longer, I could try the Caruso rollers. I hadn't considered that.

[spirals]

I love them. Price had stopped me and I'll be forever grateful to anje for her generosity.