View Full Version : Hating My Hair

October 14th, 2008, 05:43 AM
I know I go through these phases of hair hate quite often. But it just seems that it never looks good anymore. I'm sure it is growing but it doesn't seem like it. It is always frizzy, especially the canopy - though I do sometimes get decent curls underneath. Not pretty, not nice, just decent.

I'm in no way at risk for a cut or a color, but am just in this darned lull. I did get nice curls once for a profile pic, but only once. I'm just unsettled with this hair the way it is. :(

October 14th, 2008, 05:47 AM
ok first of all just relax!
everyone goes through these phases..could it be that your hair regime or vitamin regime needs revamping?
maybe your using something thats not ideal for your hair type?

October 14th, 2008, 05:52 AM
Hmm, perhaps try a new product? I use henna wax masks and they are GREAT!
Do you oil? Henna? use cones? Air dry without touching the curls ever? vinegar rinse?
I, myself, go through hair hate phases ALL the time, why? Because i once had hip length virgin thick hair and then i ruined it and I'm still paying or it now, I am in dismay 3 years later, with still damaged sad looking hair!!!!
But every month i do notice a slight improvement. At least are not planning on cutting it or colouring it- because i bet that would only make it worse.
Maybe blow dry it on a cool setting, or put it in rollers or something new to spice it up? Maybe braid it to sleep damp ( when i do that i get amazing waves).
Change something, get out of your lull, appreciate it for what it is. :)

October 14th, 2008, 05:55 AM
Sherry, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I wish I could offer a solution, but ...

You are not alone. :grouphug:

October 14th, 2008, 05:55 AM
I feel for you.
I always hate my hair when it's shoulder length, it just never looks good at that length no matter what I try.
I find the longer hair is, the better it looks.

October 14th, 2008, 06:04 AM
I think maybe you are like me and just expect to much from your hair. I was use to fixing my hair blow drying and curling or how ever I decided to fix it that day. It a more polished look and its really hard to get away from. It will be so much easier when your hair gets longer.

If your top layer isnt curling as nicely as the bottom layer you can twist the strands on the top. Just wet your hands or use a little gel and just twist the hair as your finger come down a section of hair. I have to do this sometimes with the front section because it doesnt want to curl nicely. Then just leave it to dry naturally, it might look strange at first but it really helps the parts of my hair that dont want to curl nicely. When my hair is dry I just bend over and fluff it up at the roots.

Well with my shoulder problems I havent been wearing my hair curly because I have to wet it more often. I have been just blow drying the roots for a few minutes (not sure you would go for the blow drying) and just piling it on top of my head in a high pony tail. I then take a really big roller and just roll the whole length on it. I leave it up until it drys and when I take it down it looks good, and I can go alot longer between washes. I have more smooth frizz free hair like this.

So how long is your hair now I cant remember seeing any recent pictures. Have you taken any lately.

October 14th, 2008, 06:13 AM
I really believe that every hair can be pretty, so if you are unhappy with yours it can be something that is only you that notice or if it is not you probably are doing the wrong things to treat your hair... if it is curly then it is even more difficult. but i really think you will find your way... try some new things, new products and ways of dealing with hair.
about frizz in the canopy i know what you mean, i know some people that has that, i dont know if there is any solution for it i can tell you, i dont think it looks ugly. At least on my friends i think it looks cute

October 14th, 2008, 06:24 AM
You're not alone, I go through this too! Maybe try a special treatment that makes you feel better. I always enjoy a long hot oil treatment with my heat cap. Or, how about SMT or any deep conditioner with a scent you like. Whatever you chose set a time just for you and relax.

October 14th, 2008, 06:25 AM
Trust me we all have these phases. I think I hated mine a few weeks ago and though it looked like poop. It's normal and this to shall pass :)

October 14th, 2008, 06:31 AM
I hear you. I keep hoping that if it just grows to BSL, or beyond, or if I just trim (again), or...or...I will have hair I like. But I think I am expecting too much. I want to wear it down every day and have it have volume, but be smooth, sleek, but also wavy. On freshly washed days I get volume but frizz, the lighter color that I like but hair that is somewhat unmanageable.

Part of it might just be a phase for you, part might be needing to adjust something, including how you think about your hair.

Are you trying to make it something it isn't? Or just 'blah'?

hope you do feel better soon...

October 14th, 2008, 07:00 AM
Hi, I'm sorry you are having a bad hair time. However I have an idea. Why don't you post a photo of your hair the way it is when you are disappointed with it and let the rest of us point out the good things about it and come up with ideas for new ways to style the hair to get it to show its best side? Fun for us, fun for you?

October 14th, 2008, 07:12 AM
You're at 18"? Maybe it's just one of those in-between-stage things. Hang in there. :flowers:

October 14th, 2008, 07:59 AM
I agree with the pic thingy and also go through your routine for us once again . Us oldtimers forget things right after we read them....

October 14th, 2008, 08:34 AM
I second the idea of using a little gel and twirling strands around your finger to encourage the curl.

October 14th, 2008, 08:47 AM
Sherry, I know I'm not a curly, but 18" was very awkward for me. Once you get into your 20's I think you'll be happier. An extra 2 or 3" can really make a difference.

October 14th, 2008, 09:24 AM
I have to agree with Carolyn - 18 and 19 inches for me was a complete pain in the butt. Too long to be comfy down, too short to put up properly. Once I got past 19 I was fine.

Aloe gel can't hurt, and I bet you could form some gorgeous curls with twirling as people have suggested. I wouldnt try anything seriously different routine-wise, you've had good results so far. :flower:

Pegasus Marsters
October 14th, 2008, 09:30 AM
I think your routine probably needs tweaking, and that you'll be happier once you've got a few inches more. Short hair with curls can be sooo hard to manage.

Alizarin Fionn
October 14th, 2008, 03:40 PM
Hmmm. I remember that length and honestly another 2 inches makes a real difference. My canopy is still frizzy when I am not careful but I really think the extra 2 inches in weight made a real change. After I passed 20 my hair finally felt long and started to act long. Updo's got better and it also started to look better down.

I really hope that you experience the same thing and find that things improve somewhat with an added inch or two. ( I second... or third the pic thing! More fun for us than you though I think.)

October 14th, 2008, 03:41 PM
Yeppers, everyone has those hair hating days. I am having one myself today. Just try to hang in there. I can not comiserate with the curly, but my sister can. I'll post some of her pictures (I have her permission to use these pics) so you can see what a difference a bit of length and some changes in routine can make.

http://a455.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/65/m_501389bc80240a9368e5c5c81c640106.jpg (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=382645505&albumID=635114&imageID=5642517)

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/25/m_34f98e8e3dc0444b85a6c7bc7a5d5bd2.jpg (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=382645505&albumID=635114&imageID=10591620)

She added grapeseed oil and started hennaing, and her hair has really smoothed out. Her curl definition has also improved, though it is hard to see because the second picture I had pulled it mostly straight for a trim.

October 14th, 2008, 03:58 PM
Oh Sherry! Hugs to to you! I also think you should post pics so we could all get a look at it, and maybe give you some better advice.
Your hair is similar to mine, but you have a lot more thickness. My hair hates shampoo(makes my hair severely frizzy), could you try using less shampoo?
What about oils, product, etc? SMT's? Are you cone-free?

October 14th, 2008, 04:07 PM
I hate it when my hair is at an unhappy stage. The seasons changing can cause me to have to change my hair care routine. It's really humid here in the summer, but the fall and winter is much drier.

I hope you get some improvement.:flower:

October 14th, 2008, 05:03 PM
I am going through one of these stages, so therefore am not much help but just think these stages where we are not too happy with our hair, help us appreciate the great days we have with our hair and these i think are just round the corner for you xx

October 14th, 2008, 05:40 PM
You probably remember when I went through the same thing as you. It is only a phase and I have since gotten over it and like my hair "today" tomorrow...well that's another story, but it does pass.

Hang in there.

Alley Cat
October 14th, 2008, 06:00 PM
Hugs Sherry. (())
I agree with pretty much all the advice here I think given a bit of time and some growth you will be enjoying your hair more. Just don't succumb to the scissor temptation. Maybe trying some new products or hair toys while your hair grows .
We all go through hair hating stages , all of us. :blossom:

October 14th, 2008, 07:55 PM
Oh my! Thanks for the kind words and the pep talk, everyone. I don't use much in the way of products as I don't like the way they feel on my hair. I am currently using an olive oil hair lotion. I also use coconut oil, which does help the halo effect a wee bit, but then I just have icky hair. It is pelt-like after oil (and I don't use too much).

I don't think I'm at 18 inches, however. Probably at about 24 or 25 inches, best guess. It may look like 18" at times though, because of the bends and kinks.

I like the idea of a hair pampering day though. I just might have to do that! That will make me feel better for sure! I love all of you here at LHC!:)

ole gray mare
October 14th, 2008, 10:44 PM
Oh Sherry, believe me, we all have those moments! I think you are at a very awkward length. Have faith that things will improve, because they WILL. In the meantime, maybe some of the curly girls here can offer advice. I don't have curly, but I do have frizzy. If it weren't for the length, I would have no saving grace. But it only gets long by leaving it alone...so don't you dare touch those beautiful curls of yours!

October 15th, 2008, 05:24 AM
Sherry, as it gets longer and you can do more updos you'll feel a lot better about it; I'm sure.

CO might be a solution for you. Have you tried that?

October 15th, 2008, 08:04 AM
I feel for you.
I always hate my hair when it's shoulder length, it just never looks good at that length no matter what I try.
I find the longer hair is, the better it looks.

Sherry, I know I'm not a curly, but 18" was very awkward for me. Once you get into your 20's I think you'll be happier. An extra 2 or 3" can really make a difference.

I totally agree with this. Length can make a WORLD of difference. Hang in there! Even 24 or 25 inches compared to a few more can be a huge difference. Have you found a good routine? Maybe you are using too much or too little leave-ins or the wrong kind? Just thinking of something to make you feel better. This too shall pass!!! {{{{{SHERRY}}}}}

October 15th, 2008, 10:51 AM
I think they thought you were at 18" because of the "current" number in your profile over there - I always forget to update that thing too.

My suggestion would be to keep trying until you find that perfect product as a leave-in for you. The right one made all the difference in the world for me.

FWIW, mine is CurlyBrunett's Shea It Ain't So.

October 15th, 2008, 05:34 PM
I've tried CO, but that didn't make my scalp feel good and it didn't really change the look of my hair, at all, unfortunately. I guess I have to experiment more. Yes, Muggles, I haven't changed that (I forgot I even put it in there!) since fixing it when LHC came back up. I haven't even measured since November of last year because M kept getting different lengths, one time the next month was SHORTER than the previous month. So I threw up my hands in despair! LOL