Long-haired man writes about being mistaken for a woman when driving

[gossamer]

When I Quit Cutting My Hair, I Learned How Men Treat Women On American Roads (https://www.yahoo.com/autos/quit-cutting-hair-learned-men-173826078.html)Super interesting article that I thought people might like reading.
Any of our long-hair guys have stories to share from run ins with :knuckle:s like this writer describes?

[Obsidian]

I have no idea where this man lives but I've never seen a woman being harassed in traffic just for being a woman. I don't doubt it happens at times but it sound like he really pushes his luck in traffic. I've seen multiple motorcyclist's do pretty much what ever they want on the road because they can and it really pisses you off. Man or woman, I have a tendency to voice my opinion to bike riding idiots that like to pull in front of cars. Of course, I would never chase someone down or threaten violence.

[humble_knight]

I have no idea where this man lives but I've never seen a woman being harassed in traffic just for being a woman. I don't doubt it happens at times but it sound like he really pushes his luck in traffic. I've seen multiple motorcyclist's do pretty much what ever they want on the road because they can and it really pisses you off. Man or woman, I have a tendency to voice my opinion to bike riding idiots that like to pull in front of cars. Of course, I would never chase someone down or threaten violence.

I wonder if any non-Brit LHC'ers have heard of Ronnie Pickering. This went viral last year :


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dcv6GKNNw

(caution, quite a few F-bombs dropped in the clip)

My personal :twocents: on the issue of long hair being a factor in road rage, erm, I think gender plays a bigger role because some women do get harassed whilst driving (that stupid stereotype about women not being as good at driving). Secondly, in cars vs motorbikes, I think people who drive cars have less tolerance for motorcylists (and cyclists) so it's not so difficult to trigger a road rage response in them when they get cut up.

[gregh]

I often get frustrated with the aggressive motorcyclists as well. Have not been mistaken for a woman on the road as far as I know. In fact, only been mistaken twice as far as I know, though it probably has happened a few other time that didnt come to my attention.

[Kimberly]

I took a lot of sexist crap when riding motorcycles, from jerks who felt they should yell at me that, "Chicks don't belong on motorcycles!" Or they would inform me they had, you know, something else I could ride. Others apparently felt a macho-boost leaning out their windows and dispensing condescending, often incorrect advice, which came with a side of "honey" and "darlin'." A couple of them found it humorous to throw things (like a full cup of soda) or to pull up behind me at a traffic light and bump my rear tire with their car while laughing and shouting sexist comments to their idiot friends (my mother had this happen to her, as well, back when she rode a motorcycle). One ran me off the road playing chicken, and I have the scars to show for it. Haven't ridden in some years now, and had assumed things had improved a lot since then, but maybe they haven't.

Few things have made me wish so fervently to give someone a good beat-down. Lucky I was raised to be nonviolent, or an assortment of motoring pigs out there would be walking around without teeth.

[lapushka]

Yeah, but he admits to "cutting them off" in traffic. There's no excuse for what he has to endure next, but there's no excuse for cutting someone off in traffic either. I think that's bad in and of itself.

[Kat]

I have no idea where this man lives but I've never seen a woman being harassed in traffic just for being a woman. I don't doubt it happens at times but it sound like he really pushes his luck in traffic. I've seen multiple motorcyclist's do pretty much what ever they want on the road because they can and it really pisses you off. Man or woman, I have a tendency to voice my opinion to bike riding idiots that like to pull in front of cars. Of course, I would never chase someone down or threaten violence.

Here's the deal, though: as illustrated in his first anecdote, the guy wouldn't have had nearly such a violent reaction had he known he was dealing with a man. Had he not thought "oh, a woman, someone I can intimidate." (and, possibly, had he not had a knee-jerk "stupid women drivers" reaction, when such a behavior suddenly became acceptable once he knew there was a man behind it.) He backpedaled pretty quickly once he realized that all his false macho bravado wasn't going to earn him a walk-in-the-park opportunity to make another person cower. Later in the article, the writer observes a man beating on the car of a small woman... who then quietly backs down as soon as the writer-- a man-- confronts him. Do you see a pattern here?

Sure, no one should drive like a jerk. But when one sex has to worry that making the smallest infraction-- or what could be perceived as the smallest infraction-- could net them harassment or violence, simply because they're perceived to be weaker and an easy target... that's the problem he's addressing.

[EdG]

The author of the article is a dangerous driver. He needs to drive according to what is safe, not just legal.
Ed

[Kimberly]

Yeah, but he admits to "cutting them off" in traffic. There's no excuse for what he has to endure next, but there's no excuse for cutting someone off in traffic either. I think that's bad in and of itself.

Demonstrates a lacking sense of self-preservation, as well.

[browneyedsusan]

The author of the article is a dangerous driver. He needs to drive according to what is safe, not just legal.
Ed

I agree. Cutting others off, sharing lanes, swooping into parking spots, is all bad form. At least here, in the midwest it is. He's going to end up as a grease spot in the road, unless his flowered helmet performs some sort of miracle.

[yahirwaO.o]

He's going to end up as a grease spot in the road, unless his flowered helmet performs some sort of miracle.

LMAO! Im sorry but they way you refered his helmet made laugh so much! :bigtongue: Ok so back to the point...

I do agree that wrong behaviour when driving-motorcycling is absolutely wrong. I've been already to hospital because of those awful attitudes as collateral damage! (I was just passing by a big street) Lucky me, but yes many people can actually be in much more trouble. I don't know but when people hit the road, they can certainly lose their minds and such.

... the gender problem, well he might have some strong points, but he has to realize whether you're a man or a woman if put yourself in danger (violence or much more problems) you open the door to bigger problems (it doesn't matter anymore if u have long hair or you have a flower girlish helmet). I think the main problem here isn't sexism really!

...and well I've been mistaken so many damn times for being a woman (and some have hopefully as a pun said an attractive one LOL) but I don't mind. Being a woman isn't like something negative, right?. Am I complete man sure of my own manliness. I couldn't care less about growing a beard to match my silky hair just to pass by more masculine. I am what I am!

[Obsidian]

Here's the deal, though: as illustrated in his first anecdote, the guy wouldn't have had nearly such a violent reaction had he known he was dealing with a man. Had he not thought "oh, a woman, someone I can intimidate." (and, possibly, had he not had a knee-jerk "stupid women drivers" reaction, when such a behavior suddenly became acceptable once he knew there was a man behind it.) He backpedaled pretty quickly once he realized that all his false macho bravado wasn't going to earn him a walk-in-the-park opportunity to make another person cower. Later in the article, the writer observes a man beating on the car of a small woman... who then quietly backs down as soon as the writer-- a man-- confronts him. Do you see a pattern here?

Sure, no one should drive like a jerk. But when one sex has to worry that making the smallest infraction-- or what could be perceived as the smallest infraction-- could net them harassment or violence, simply because they're perceived to be weaker and an easy target... that's the problem he's addressing.

How do we know the first man actual though the author was a woman? Just because he was called a bitch doesn't mean anything, I call men that all the time. It possible the first driver was simply intimated by the author, he does look something of a beast.

Not saying the author hasn't experienced mistaken gender or that women aren't harassed on the road, just saying there might be more to it then him *having long hair so he must be a girl* mentality. Honestly, he sounds like a a** and I'm not surprised people want to beat his behind until they get a good look at him.

[DaveDecker]

He admits several times that his driving is aggressive. Motorcyclists being aggressive readily provoke the ire of many or even most other (car or truck) drivers sharing the same streets. I'll guess that the individuals he highlights (a) do assume that the aggressive motorcyclist was a woman due to his long hair, and (b) assume that a man would be more difficult to "beat up" than a same-sized woman. I'm guessing that their desire to fight is based more on their perception of their likelihood of prevailing in a fist fight than it is about possessing misogynistic tendencies. Anyway, both assumptions (a) and (b) are misguided (for example, people don't wear their martial arts skills on their sleeves).

Thankfully I've never experienced any such scenario, but what I have noticed a lot lately is people pacing their cars right next to mine (and just a few feet behind) and I have a hunch that the drivers are curious about the person wearing the ponyscrub filled in the back with my hair... kinda like creepy lurking. (I always find myself hoping they're paying enough attention to the traffic to avoid hitting anybody or anything!)

[Arctic]

I'm a feminist but I have to say the most highlighted issue that I thought when glancing this though was his reckless driving.

[maborosi]

I wonder if any non-Brit LHC'ers have heard of Ronnie Pickering. This went viral last year :


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dcv6GKNNw

(caution, quite a few F-bombs dropped in the clip)

This video always cracks me up.

I live where road rage is pretty uncommon. People don't even use their horn much where I live unless someone's doing something totally wrong.
I went to LA over the summer and was completely floored by how much people use their horns, even when they're not even mad. I was also unbelievably taken aback by how brave some of the motorcyclists were over there...Oh my god.

I've only ever experienced a really angry driver once, and that was when I was first learning to drive. I accidentally cut a guy in a pickup truck off, and he swerved through traffic, sitting on his horn, and followed me for a few miles before I shook him. Guy was a little bit crazy.

[irodaryne]

As a woman who drives, I can say that I've never experienced road rage quite like this man (or the woman who's car was getting beat on by some guy). I have, however, experienced quite a bit of road rage. I've mostly chalked this up to Portland Drivers are Terrible (I'm from Arizona) and that on the road is where Portlanders channel their rage and this is why they are so nice in every other aspect of life.

Last Monday I was in a lane that was merging with the left lane and the guy driving next to me kept his car pretty solidly next to mine as the lane was getting smaller and smaller and smaller. He wouldn't let me slow down to get behind him and he wouldn't let me speed up to get ahead of him. Finally, when I did manage to get squeezed in (by ramming the gas and forcing myself ahead of him so that our cars wouldn't collide. I didn't want to take the sudden brakes option and get rear-ended) he followed me for like a mile and a half honking angrily and was obviously yelling and making big threatening hand gestures. Because Portland Drivers are A**holes.

[lapushka]

Last Monday I was in a lane that was merging with the left lane and the guy driving next to me kept his car pretty solidly next to mine as the lane was getting smaller and smaller and smaller. He wouldn't let me slow down to get behind him and he wouldn't let me speed up to get ahead of him. Finally, when I did manage to get squeezed in (by ramming the gas and forcing myself ahead of him so that our cars wouldn't collide. I didn't want to take the sudden brakes option and get rear-ended) he followed me for like a mile and a half honking angrily and was obviously yelling and making big threatening hand gestures. Because Portland Drivers are A**holes.

When two lanes need to merge here, there is something new in the law called "ritsen" in Dutch, it means "zippering", it means every car in the leading lane is supposed to let one car go by; it is quite a success here in Belgium but sometimes it can lead to frustration as there are drivers wanting to speed in the other lane to still try and get ahead of the "line".

[goneJackal]

The only time I remember being mistaken for a woman while driving was in a Gas Station.
While I was opening the window, the attendant said "Good morning, miss....ter".

http://www.felipesv.com/forum/k_gargalhada.gif

And there were many opportunities, as São Paulo has some of worst daily traffic jams in the world.
Fortunately, I work from home and don't have to deal with it every single day anymore.

Apart from the road sexism, the author seems like a reckless driver.

[irodaryne]

When two lanes need to merge here, there is something new in the law called "ritsen" in Dutch, it means "zippering", it means every car in the leading lane is supposed to let one car go by; it is quite a success here in Belgium but sometimes it can lead to frustration as there are drivers wanting to speed in the other lane to still try and get ahead of the "line".

I don't think it's law here, but it is expected that when two lanes are merging it should be done in a zipper fashion. Unfortunately, this person did not want to let me zipper in. Probably because they are an a****le.

[sumidha]

Driving aggressively does not warrant verbal abuse or threats of violence, whether you are a man or a woman.

Kimberly I'm so sorry that has happened to you, people can be horrible. :grouphug:

[Kat]

When two lanes need to merge here, there is something new in the law called "ritsen" in Dutch, it means "zippering", it means every car in the leading lane is supposed to let one car go by; it is quite a success here in Belgium but sometimes it can lead to frustration as there are drivers wanting to speed in the other lane to still try and get ahead of the "line".

Where I live, it's controversial. Mostly for the issue in the last part of your sentence. Many people, when they see their lane is ending, will get over into a lane that isn't ending, because they want to get over when they see an opportunity rather than waiting and forcing everyone behind them to slow down and let them in. This leaves the lane that is ending pretty empty, which means other people will zoom up and want to be let in at the beginning of the line, while everyone else has been waiting patiently. All people need to be on board with the "zippering" idea for it to work... because a lot of people feel they're being responsible by not waiting until the last second, and the two lines aren't equal.

(My pet peeve is when I see someone waiting to get over... I slow down and leave them a space... and they don't take it, and decide to instead pull forward in hopes of getting in further ahead. They lose their chance for me to let them in later.)

[MeAndTheMaz]

Well, clearly the author is an a-hole on the road. I wonder how many people continued to give him :poop: when they found out he was a man, that he isn't "reporting".

[Kimberly]

Driving aggressively does not warrant verbal abuse or threats of violence, whether you are a man or a woman.

Kimberly I'm so sorry that has happened to you, people can be horrible. :grouphug:

sumidha, thank you!

The motorcyclist in the video is an idiot. He drives like an idiot. He doesn't have to hang around and continue these confrontations, so is part of the road rage problem himself -- an idiot.

There are jerks out there who'll mistreat a woman on a motorcycle, jerks who never said or did those things to my ex-husband, even when we swapped bikes or rode together. So the idiot is pointing out something I believe to be true, but he's still an idiot. And thanks to the way he has publicized his behavior, more people will think all motorcyclists are idiots like him. Motorcyclists need to be MORE careful than drivers in cars -- are harder to see, and have less protection, and are in more danger in bad road conditions. He might be wearing a helmet, but this idiot still what other motorcyclists call a "squid."

[Alun]

I can only recall one time when I've been mistaken for a woman while driving, OTOH my body could not exactly be mistaken for a woman. Not to mention the beard.

Actually, the one time that happened was, if anything, more scary than the incidents he talks about. Someone in a security guard's car was trying to use his **orange** flashing lights to make me pull over (snort). Wrong colour lights, dude. I suspect, however, that if I was female and had actually been stupid enough to pull over, that his intention was some sort of sexual assault. When he realised his mistake in identifying my gender he took off down a side road. I actually reported it to a cop a little way down the road, but doubt if they caught him.

Can't say I have much difficulty identifying female motorcyclists. Hard to see how anyone could make that mistake. Easier to mistake a car driver from behind than a biker from any angle. Mind you, when I was a student there was one girl in our motorcycle club who wore so many layers that it was hard to tell who or what was underneath. Hi, Rachel!

[Amapola]

In my opinion, what he's saying is that his aggressive driving tactics are tolerated in men even though they are not what ought to be done, but not tolerated in women. I'm thinking of things like, how in the US, white kids can mouth off to the cops if they are feeling intolerant of authority that day, and the worst that will happen is they might get arrested. Whereas a black kid runs a real risk of much, much worse, possibly even being shot and killed. So yeah, no one should mouth off to the cops - but white kids can get away with it, and it's shrugged off as youthful indiscretion (again, in the US).

So I'm thinking he's saying, people probably shouldn't drive like that, but men can and it's tolerated. If women do the slightest thing wrong, there are people out there who feel entitled to scream, yell and threaten them.

But I do agree on the point that motorcyclists need to be extra careful. Nobody should drive the way he describes, whether it's tolerated or not.

[truepeacenik]

I'm a feminist but I have to say the most highlighted issue that I thought when glancing this though was his reckless driving.

I see someone white knighting an issue that he sees.
How about his own Asians are girly men crap? Because a wave and flower spray is acceptable for either gender. (Or, I could say cough cultural appropriation cough)
I can tell you that women display road rage. I do the verbal form, where I'll narrate every bizarre or unsafe move. I'm better, it's down to, "really?" rather than a string of words no one wants to hear. NPR helps. ;)
There's a term for where this dude is going. "Mansplaining."
We poor, pathetic wimmenfolk don't need him to tell us how it is on the roads, because, you know, we drive them.
We know some men will pull alongside, not to see what's on our heads, as in Dave's case, but to harass is for having XX chromosomes.
I don't need a long haired biker on an import to tell me that drivers will call someone "bitch." By the way, men call men this. It's demasculinizing in intent (ie, the worst thing one calls a man is a woman or part of a woman's body), but it's said male to male.

As for his own driving, lane splitting is legal in California (and I'm just betting that's where he is based on some comments), but it's intended only for non moving traffic, not to go 85-95 when the flow is 75MPH.
I took the CA drivers license written test. This practice is on there.

[Kimberly]

You make great points, Amapola and truepeacenik.

He reminds me of a guy I knew who did business using a female avatar in a slinky gown (but not concealing that he was actually a man). This guy bloviated endlessly at every opportunity about how this gave him such a great understanding of what it's like to be a woman.

Lane splitting is legal in Cali, but I never did it. I'd rather wait in line than risk being knocked off by a side mirror.

[Alun]

Lane splitting is also legal in the UK, and I used to do it all the time, but I don't classify it as agressive driving. This guy admits to much worse that that.

[Kimberly]

There's low-speed lane splitting through stopped cars to get up near the traffic light, and then there's aggressive lane splitting at 100 miles per hour through traffic moving at highway speeds. Every time I see the latter, I think, "Must be late for his funeral."

I rode my little dual-purpose onroad and off, and was always looking for an opportunity to catch some air or pop a wheelie, and I especially loved taking on (deserted, midnight, outdoor) staircases. But early on I became very aware that other drivers are the biggest danger, changing lanes without signaling, making a left turn without looking. And that's why I never did any lane splitting. :-)

[FuzzyBlackWaves]

Here's the deal, though: as illustrated in his first anecdote, the guy wouldn't have had nearly such a violent reaction had he known he was dealing with a man. Had he not thought "oh, a woman, someone I can intimidate." (and, possibly, had he not had a knee-jerk "stupid women drivers" reaction, when such a behavior suddenly became acceptable once he knew there was a man behind it.) He backpedaled pretty quickly once he realized that all his false macho bravado wasn't going to earn him a walk-in-the-park opportunity to make another person cower. Later in the article, the writer observes a man beating on the car of a small woman... who then quietly backs down as soon as the writer-- a man-- confronts him. Do you see a pattern here?

Sure, no one should drive like a jerk. But when one sex has to worry that making the smallest infraction-- or what could be perceived as the smallest infraction-- could net them harassment or violence, simply because they're perceived to be weaker and an easy target... that's the problem he's addressing.

I completely agree with this opinion. It's very well worded.

[butter52]

I dont think the bad driving has any value in the argument. Is just context.

He is pointing out that in his -lets call it experiment- he experiences sexism in the roads. Do I doubt it? Unfortunately I dont doubt it at all...
Does he have to instruct me about it? No thanks, I already deal with sexism. But am I glad that a man understood a bit? Absolutely.