Trying to break free of hairdressers - forever

[LaraAntipova]

So I came to this forum over 6 months ago after my hair was accidentally bleached bombed by a hairdresser and cut to about arm pit length. Different hairdressers since then have used semi permanent colour with always different results to control the damage and restore my natural ashy level 6 colour, never getting it right. I've yoyo'd from darkest browns to light browns to auburn browns and almost greenish browns that all gradually fade to a honey colour. I go back for a new semi only at the point where my ends start looking white-blond but always with a lot of dread.

I tried to last as long as I could before going back, but don't yet feel I can care for all my hair needs on my own to totally ditch the hairdresser. This time I had the best result so far. Hair is now level 6 brown and my ends are truly only trimmed and cleaned up. So all in all I'm pretty happy.

But still...

I notice my roots look lighter than my ends - why? I'm worried there was a mild bleach agent in the semi.

I've had a lot of success with the Search and Destroy method, but eventually I always go back for a trim because I have a lot of hair. And I always feel like they cut too much, always, no matter how little they cut. Even the feeling of getting my hair trimmed makes me cringe.

And finally I don't know what to do about the semis. Semis do seem to halt damage but they irritate my scalp are are never quite right. I'd really love to find a natural alternative.

So Long Hair Community, I would love some tips. Why are my roots lighter? What are home made alternatives to salon semis that will close the cuticle and add a subtle 6 ash brown colour?

I want to be free of hairdressers- forever!

[PristineAllure]

Sorry I cannot offer you any advice, as I do not and have never colored my hair. But I'm wishing you lots of good luck and positive energy. I don't go to hairdressers, and I've only been twice, and both times it was a horrible experience. Just know that you can achieve healthy and beautiful hair on your own. Good luck!

[Arctic]

What is your end goal? Is it to have your natural hair back (no colours used?) What have the hair dressers you've seen said they try to achive on the long term?

Have the stylists been dyeing only the bleached parts or whole hair (I assume the latter)?

How much of the really bad bleach damaged hair you have left?


If you want your own, virgin hair back, at some point you'll need to stop colouring either your whole hair or at least your roots (only the bleached parts). You also need to trim the bleached parts off, the sooner you do that, the sooner you get rid of the root of your problem.

Growing colour (or damage) out is never easy, and people have many approaches. Our SarahLabyrint have chosen a method where she tapers the dye off over a long period of time, and thus avoids the obvious demacration line. It takes lot of time and patience. Some people rock the two tones look, some people chop the dyed ends as soon as possible. Some take the deposit only or other non-permanent colour route, which might or might not work.

I think semis do have some lightening effects on them, so that would explain your roots.

I am not very knowlegeable about colours, but your ends probably need lot of proteins in your routine (always listen to your hair though) and with them, a lot of moisture. And some kind of fillers before the colour jobs.

You can learn to self-trim, and be in control of how much is taken off. A method called Feye's self trimming method is very popular here. I wouldn't skip them trims myself if my hair was damaged though: when you get the damage trimmed off, your hair will be oh so much easier to care off, without worries about dyes, colour not sticking, roots, etc etc.

[pailin]

'Semi-permanent' dyes DO have bleach, they just have less than the 'permanent' ones do. So although the coloring will fade, the lightening from the bleach will stay. If you want to continue making your ends match your roots as the dye/bleach grows out, the only way to do that without bleach is to use a true deposit only dye. Things like Manic Panic (there are other brands but I don't have experience with these); I think there are shades in 'normal' hair colors as well as the pink, blue, etc. They should wash out eventually; how long depends upon the color and on your own hair; your hair would go back eventually to whatever's underneath. If your dyed ends are lighter than your roots, that might be one way to cover it as your roots grow out, without doing more damage. And if you want to grow out your natural color you will have to give up anything containing bleach at some point.

[lapushka]

I'd just stop going and grow it out. I'd dye it once with a permanent color close to my own, then grow it out from there. That's the best way to ditch a hairdresser, IMMHO.

[LaraAntipova]

Thanks everyone for your advice it's all really helpful. I think I was mislead into believing that the semis were depositing colour only, no peroxide, my scalp feels the way it did when it first got bleached and my hair is way too golden to be explained by anything else but bleach, it is definitely lighter. I am really devastated. I'm just hoping it's not unattractive and it solves my problem of having dark ends with light roots, now I can grow it out as an "ombre" with light ends and dark room. Time for me to rock the two tone look and just never go to a hairdresser again.

To Arctic: end goal is virgin colour MBL hair. If there was bleach in that brown semi then that means ALL of my hair has been lightly bleached again. I am lucky enough to have very resilient hair but I am still really unhappy about this. I'm back at square 1.
Your advice was really helpful though, thank you. I'll look into all those things.

Pallin: my heart literally sank when I read your post but thank you for mentioning manic panic, I've bookmarked their page. When the brown all washes out I may have very very light hair frail and need something like that to 'fill it in' without touching the re-growth.

Lapushka: thanks, I'll have to consider that because I'd be scared to home dye, that might have to be my next and final move when all the colour washes out.

Now I am thinking I need to go back to the HD and ask for a refund. The reason I trusted them was because I had gone to them for help after the initial bleach job and they did seem to be using deposit only semis and really did help me heal my hair. This time I was given a different stylist but she knew my history and I was clear with what I wanted and yet this happened. And it didn't come cheap. I would have say NO absolutely NO WAY had I known there was even a touch of lightening bleach in the semi.

[copperlites]

Now I am thinking I need to go back to the HD and ask for a refund. The reason I trusted them was because I had gone to them for help after the initial bleach job and they did seem to be using deposit only semis and really did help me heal my hair. This time I was given a different stylist but she knew my history and I was clear with what I wanted and yet this happened. And it didn't come cheap. I would have say NO absolutely NO WAY had I known there was even a touch of lightening bleach in the semi.[/QUOTE

Hello fellow Aussie!
I feel your pain. I came here too after a hairdresser disaster but mine was chemical straightening, which has caused at least ¼ of my hair to fall out/ snap off.
Originally you said that your latest visit was the best yet but then you say you wanted to go back for a refund so I'm a bit confused.
I woukd just do as you said, baby it and rock the ombré as it grows out. Lots of coconut oil and protective updos have been my saviour this last 12 months.
The knowledge I e gained from the beginning dolls here has really helped me and I hope it helps you too.

[chen bao jun]

Hey, LaraAntipova, I love your name, I am a real fan of Dr. Zhivago (the book).

Good luck. Life without hairdressers has been so much better for me. LHC will get you there.

[nalgena]

Hmm, I'd do what lapushka suggested.

Yes, semi permanents NEVER wash out completely. I had been using them for a while in the past and after I stopped, my hair faded to a not very attractive orangey brown color. I personally don't believe there's any hair dye that would wash out 100% and revert the hair back to what it was, so I decided to never touch them again.

Edit: I haven't been to a hairdresser for more than a year and I love it! I bought sheering scissors and I cut/trim my own hair. For the first time in my life, I don't have 100 layers going on, which made my fine hair look flat and thin.

[irodaryne]

I'm also going to second what lapushka said, get everything dyed as close to your natural color as you can and then leave it alone. Perhaps learn how to do micro trims on yourself so that you can slowly start cutting out the bleached ends while the virgin hair grows out.

[Arctic]

Hey don't despair or loose hope! :hugs: With the support and help from LHC you can do this! And no-one bats an eye to two toned hair these days, as it's been so popular for a while. You could wear sunhats, scarves, thick fabric hair bands and french braids (they look great with two toned hair!) untill you get bit of your own colour back. After that you'll soon have a contemporary ombre look.

Don't kick yourself about the hairdye: I wouldn't have known this before LHC either. We go to the salons with faithful hearts and assume the stylists always do what is for our best.

[kidari]

I'd just stop going and grow it out. I'd dye it once with a permanent color close to my own, then grow it out from there. That's the best way to ditch a hairdresser, IMMHO.

I agree. However, I see that your natural color is lighter and your ends are darker? Since it's been dyed, you cannot go lighter with more dye. You will have to strip out the artificial color in order to lighten up your ends. Also, I see that's what you were trying to do in the first place? If your hair has been bleached, usually you will get strange yellow or orange tones that you then have to color with artificial color. Unfortunately, the dyes fade out with washing and with time. I think it's best you look into true deposit-only color that does not require a developer and you do this yourself at home. Be warned that any dye can potentially leave behind a permanent stain of some sort. Otherwise, just leave it alone and let it grow out. You can add some lowlights to help blend the line of demarcation... however this is usually best left to a professional. I have seen a YouTube DIY where this girl used the old school cap and hook technique to actually do lowlights with a darker semi-permanent dye rather than the usual bleach for highlights. That seemed easy enough to do yourself.

I've been doing my own hair for about 6 years now and I have the best hair I've ever had in my life. It took some experimenting and there was a learning curve, but I am now able to achieve and maintain exactly what I want right at home for minimal cost.

[seaweed_maenad]

I have had hairdressers absolutely *fry* my hair to the point where when it was wet it felt like disintegrating wet noodles. That was over 10 years ago so thank goodness, all that damage is trimmed away but my other problem is (or was I should say, I do everything myself now!) going into a salon and wanting a literal trim, like half an inch or so just to get the dead ends off and end up with a hack job that set me back in my goals. So I said forget it, I'm doing it all myself now and so havent had any "professional" help in almost 2 years. My hair is so much better for it.

[humble_knight]

I have had hairdressers absolutely *fry* my hair to the point where when it was wet it felt like disintegrating wet noodles. That was over 10 years ago so thank goodness, all that damage is trimmed away but my other problem is (or was I should say, I do everything myself now!) going into a salon and wanting a literal trim, like half an inch or so just to get the dead ends off and end up with a hack job that set me back in my goals. So I said forget it, I'm doing it all myself now and so havent had any "professional" help in almost 2 years. My hair is so much better for it.

Snap. I haven't been to one for 3 years now, I think. I'm not in that position yet, but when I reach my goal-length of either APL, or BSL, I will have to start thinking about how to keep my hair trimmed every so often without actually having to step into a salon.