The Big Bag of NOPE thread

[stelz]

This is the place for all the hair-related horrors you run across online. Bad advice, crazy videos, anything. Whatever makes you say "NOPE"
I'll start:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IBZ1PxmOAw

[khryz]

https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4025/4488876837_8d3da2423a_z.jpg

[Loveisaverb]

Now is just a lawsuit waiting to happen or worse...shudder:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

If I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have believed it. Note you never get to see the hemlines after he has finished! Quelle horreur!

[Obsidian]

I've accidentally set my head on fire once, why would anyone want frizzy sizzled hair like that? The sword work as interesting but terrifying, especially on the shorter hair.

[Viola88]

Nope, nope, nope....

http://boingboing.net/2015/03/11/prizewinning-frozen-hair.html

[khryz]

I've accidentally set my head on fire once, why would anyone want frizzy sizzled hair like that? The sword work as interesting but terrifying, especially on the shorter hair.

I thought the sword work was more for theatrical effect than anything else. Wonder how much these women pay for something like that. Fire is just nope.

[stelz]

Nope, nope, nope....

http://boingboing.net/2015/03/11/prizewinning-frozen-hair.html

I've had my wet hair freeze before. But it didn't FROST like that, it just looked gelled.
Then again, I wasn't freezing it purposely with layers of ice in subzero temperatures.
Nope, nope, and NOPE.

[khryz]

https://i.imgflip.com/wifur.jpg (https://imgflip.com/i/wifur)

Yup, I ventured into the meme thread.

[meteor]

This is the place for all the hair-related horrors you run across online. Bad advice, crazy videos, anything. Whatever makes you say "NOPE"
I'll start:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IBZ1PxmOAw

:spitting: LOL, I haven't laughed this much in ages! The guy is basically having fun attacking hair with swords, fire, claws a-la Wolverine and god knows what else... and he gets paid for that? :lol: It looks pretty entertaining, I must admit! :lol:


Nope, nope, nope....

http://boingboing.net/2015/03/11/prizewinning-frozen-hair.html

Oh my goodness, that actually looks like fun! :lol: I wonder what those sculptures would look like on super-long hair... say, frozen mid-flip, vertically!

[DreamSheep]

Ahh, that looks a bit scary!

Does the hair break off if it is frozen?

Not quite the same category, but I remember someone asked me if I had ever "wiped my butt with my hair", because apparently someone they knew regularly used their hair when they didn't have paper (which is frankly, quite horrifying :S). Anyway, I explained that most people don't do that... I'm all for multipurpose things, but not hair and toilet paper sharing a job! :p

[Arctic]

No hair doesn't break off when frozen :)

[AJNinami]

Not quite the same category, but I remember someone asked me if I had ever "wiped my butt with my hair", because apparently someone they knew regularly used their hair when they didn't have paper (which is frankly, quite horrifying :S). Anyway, I explained that most people don't do that... I'm all for multipurpose things, but not hair and toilet paper sharing a job! :p

That's disgusting! The poor hair...

[bunneh.]

Mine didn't when it got frost all over when I was in Sweden for a month... But I wasn't trying to manipulate it, I just let it warm up and melt ice or whatever down when I got inside and it was fine. Yes I was terrible to my hair years ago XD But I'm learning and being more careful now. :)

Off topic: Arctic, I'm addicted to your signature I love it so much, but I always forget to tell you that... -.-

[Arctic]

Off topic: Arctic, I'm addicted to your signature I love it so much, but I always forget to tell you that... -.-

Thanks! I love it too; I usually wouldn't keep one signature for years but this has been so dear to me I just can't change it!

[Kat]

apparently someone they knew regularly used their hair when they didn't have paper (which is frankly, quite horrifying :S).

That sounds like something this person probably made up to see if the person you talked to would fall for it... and they apparently did.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

That sounds like something this person probably made up to see if the person you talked to would fall for it... and they apparently did.

I am quite certain this must have been made up.

[mermaid lullaby]

I don't think I could do the undercut for women, its long hair with the temple hair shaved short.

[Nique1202]

Ahh, that looks a bit scary!

Does the hair break off if it is frozen?

Not quite the same category, but I remember someone asked me if I had ever "wiped my butt with my hair", because apparently someone they knew regularly used their hair when they didn't have paper (which is frankly, quite horrifying :S). Anyway, I explained that most people don't do that... I'm all for multipurpose things, but not hair and toilet paper sharing a job! :p


That's disgusting! The poor hair...


That sounds like something this person probably made up to see if the person you talked to would fall for it... and they apparently did.


I am quite certain this must have been made up.


Ahh, that looks a bit scary!

Does the hair break off if it is frozen?

Not quite the same category, but I remember someone asked me if I had ever "wiped my butt with my hair", because apparently someone they knew regularly used their hair when they didn't have paper (which is frankly, quite horrifying :S). Anyway, I explained that most people don't do that... I'm all for multipurpose things, but not hair and toilet paper sharing a job! :p


That's disgusting! The poor hair...


That sounds like something this person probably made up to see if the person you talked to would fall for it... and they apparently did.


I am quite certain this must have been made up.

It definitely has to be. Though, I wonder if it was the person who asked poor DreamSheep or the person who said they'd done it. :hmm: Too bad though, that's the kind of rumour that puts people off long hair.


I don't think I could do the undercut for women, its long hair with the temple hair shaved short.

My only concern would be how long it would take to catch up, but I think it's often done very tastefully and beautifully, especially contrasting with rainbow-dyed and/or waist+ length hair on the rest of the head. I'd love to do a deep undercut like Natalie Dormer did for The Hunger Games at least once in my life, even if it limited what styles I could wear to flatter it, but I've got enough trouble with my layers and pieces right now that I couldn't handle having another section to keep shaving or start growing out.

[stelz]

I had a guy at work ask me once if my braid ever went in the toilet. He was being pervy, I just told him to knock it off and reported it. That's bad enough, but wipe? *shudders*

I like Arctic's signature too. Sound advice. :)

[Entangled]

I don't think I could do the undercut for women, its long hair with the temple hair shaved short.
There was a girl in my hand who did that. We were at band practice and when we came inside, I could see she had braided a section of hair around her temple and ear. She was holding onto it and she exclaimed "I'm gonna cut it!"
And she did. During band practice.

[curlysamantha]

https://youtu.be/-dQW4uUdHLk

We watched this in my cos class when we were learning about chemical application. shudder:

[lapis_lazuli]

Scary! shudder: Mulan made it look so easy and graceful! :lol:http://data.whicdn.com/images/62226842/original.gif

[curlysamantha]

seriously though! :grin: if only cutting hair was that easy!!

[lapis_lazuli]

Disney unrealism strikes again! :laugh:

[curlysamantha]

what I would give to have Disney hair :laugh:

[lapis_lazuli]

Especially Rapunzel's...
http://cdn4.teen.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/tangled-rapunzel-brushing-hair.gif
:thud:

[curlysamantha]

Yesssss :heartbeat

[RavenMane]

Wet, wurly, long, thick thick hair - person took a brush from the top and just yanked it through, with all the snapping, crackling sounds of hair breaking. I was dying inside.

[lapis_lazuli]

Wet, wurly, long, thick thick hair - person took a brush from the top and just yanked it through, with all the snapping, crackling sounds of hair breaking. I was dying inside.

:scared: That sounds horrendous! I have that reaction every time my sisters brush their hair in front of me. It's so painful to watch.

[chen bao jun]

https://youtu.be/-dQW4uUdHLk

We watched this in my cos class when we were learning about chemical application. shudder:

I can't even watch...Cringe Cringe. There's a reason black women with bleached hair all have very short do's. Actually, I have noticed that unnatural platinum blondes of any ethnic group don't have much hair--I understand that Marilyn Monroe was wearing wigs a lot towards the end of her life(she was a double processor, she had naturally curly hair as well as naturally light brown hair). There are some ladies on LHC who do it though and do well, with coconut oil and care...

This thread is exciting, I must say. Swords and fire..When I saw the thread title, I was think more in terms of keratin treatments or japanese straightening (those are my big nopes and honestly, I'm really sorry I went near even just 'regular' relaxers, I was even before I saw that thing with the relaxer and the coke bottle in that Chris Rock movie...)

[samanthaa]

https://www.facebook.com/Vlechten.met.Daan/videos/1768239750080408/

Every part of this video made me cringe...

[lapis_lazuli]

https://www.facebook.com/Vlechten.met.Daan/videos/1768239750080408/

Every part of this video made me cringe...

Ach that's a scary one shudder: Reminds me of what my sister does to her hair in the morning. :nono:

[shrinkingviolet]

This is the place for all the hair-related horrors you run across online. Bad advice, crazy videos, anything. Whatever makes you say "NOPE"
I'll start:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IBZ1PxmOAw

The comments under that video impressed me more than the video itself.

[Miss P]

Someone once recommended I put butter in my hair. Not shea butter or anything. ACTUAL BUTTER! Suffice to say I ran for it

[Hairkay]

Someone once recommended I put butter in my hair. Not shea butter or anything. ACTUAL BUTTER! Suffice to say I ran for it

There's places in Africa that use butter as a styling product. It seems to look okay but I wonder about the smell. Some know about it here.

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/unsalted-butter-on-hair.9750/

Here's pics of some using it.

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=afar+hair&rlz=1C1CAFA_enGB644GB644&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwimqaugycDKAhVHaRQKHWdIBl0QsAQIHw&biw=1366&bih=667

[mary*rose]

I saw that fire and hair video on a friend's page on Facebook. I remember talking to this friend in high school about natural hair care routines, and we were talking about baking soda, which I did use in high school, because it worked for awhile. However, I made a dilute solution - she used a PASTE as shampoo. A paste of baking soda, and now fire hair...

Admittedly, the video looks pretty awesome, as do those frozen hair pictures.

[LemonFizzy]

The comments under that video impressed me more than the video itself.

' "The only way to do it in an exact mathematical way"... is to use a big $#@&^%$ Katana.' :spitting:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Those hair styles with the ghee look amazing. :)

I believe there are some areas in parts of South America where families collect and save their urine for a week and then it is used to wash the hair. Also parts of Africa where cow urine is used. I guess it would work; it just isn't what we would do...

[MsPharaohMoan]

There was once a thread about a woman worried about taking care of her hair in prison. Using butter was recommended. :shrug:

[missrandie]

The only bag of nope I can hand you is watching people grab two handfuls of their ponytail and *insert awful wrong direction noise* "tighten" their ponytail. Aka give missrandie a squicky feeling like nails on a chalkboard or grinding teeth.

I remember one of my friends trying to do that to me as a kid.. I yelled at her and carefully took my ponytail out and remade it. Maybe I was born to be a longhair? Lol

[lapis_lazuli]

The only bag of nope I can hand you is watching people grab two handfuls of their ponytail and *insert awful wrong direction noise* "tighten" their ponytail. Aka give missrandie a squicky feeling like nails on a chalkboard or grinding teeth.

I remember one of my friends trying to do that to me as a kid.. I yelled at her and carefully took my ponytail out and remade it. Maybe I was born to be a longhair? Lol

Oh my God, I can't stand that! It makes me cringe every time shudder: Just... no!

[Lirona]

This video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6sfDt9Hck8&t=5m39s) is my NOPE hairstyle. The breakage that model must have had as a result! shudder:

[lapis_lazuli]

This video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6sfDt9Hck8&t=5m39s) is my NOPE hairstyle. The breakage that model must have had as a result! shudder:

Oh Gosh is that ever hard to watch! :scared: I literally got chills of anxiety watching him tease that poor girl's hair :lol:

[missrandie]

This video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6sfDt9Hck8&t=5m39s) is my NOPE hairstyle. The breakage that model must have had as a result! shudder:

That one kills me.

[RavenMane]

Someone once recommended I put butter in my hair. Not shea butter or anything. ACTUAL BUTTER! Suffice to say I ran for it
Lol I actually think im going to try to make clarified butter (ghee) and put it in my hair.

[Beatrixity]

I found this on pinterest. Nope nope nope. https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1636/24546695586_e378874536_b.jpg

[lapis_lazuli]

Holy s***! :bigeyes:shudder::scared:
That is horrifying!!! Keep it away, keep it away! :tmi:

[mary*rose]

AAAHH flat iron WITH tin foil?? Omigosh that reminds me of what my aunt used to do with her hair back when straighteners didn't exist... She said she used a book, a towel, and an iron. Like, a clothes iron.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I used to kneel next to the ironing board and just use the iron..... :p when I was about 14.

[lapis_lazuli]

I used to kneel next to the ironing board and just use the iron..... :p when I was about 14.

Oh my goodness!!! To straighten your hair?! :run:

[papayatree]

I used to kneel next to the ironing board and just use the iron..... :p when I was about 14.

Your hair must have loved that.

[gustavonut]

Lmao oh my god these are all hilarious. :popcorn: :lol:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

:lol: I would have the iron on a low heat, but it wouldn't straighten it the way I wanted it to and really, all I got were sore arms and a kink in my neck. Don't try this at home :p

[lapis_lazuli]

Oh my gosh :rollin:
I can't say I'm much better! I used to flat iron my hair at 450 F (the highest setting)! :tmi:

[chen bao jun]

The white curly girls in my high school back in the 1970's used to do the thing where they laid their hair on an ironing board and ironed it.

They should have talked to the black girls and been educated so that they could have ironed their hair straight with a iron narrow-toothed comb heated in a stove fire. You would check that it was hot enough by pressing it against a paper napkin to see how browned (burned) the paper got. And make sure your hair got well fried by liberally covering it in grease first. Ears and neck could not really be protected and the process took hours.

My dad told my mother that that was a big NOPE for us girls but she overrode and ignored him.

I imagine there must have been discussions like that in my house between parents in pre-20th century China in the foot-binding era.

DAD: Let me get this straight. You are going to tie the girls' feet so that they stay 3 inches long all their lives, breaking their foot arches and bending their toes under so that they break too and making them cripples for life. No. Just--NO.

MOM: But--they will not be beautiful and they will NEVER get married if they have normal feet which are UGLY.

(Dad still says no--so she does it behind his back...)
And so the world goes on.

[lapis_lazuli]

That's so interesting, chen bao jun! And... a little frightening :bigeyes:

[chen bao jun]

Only a little?

[lapis_lazuli]

Only a little?

Ok a lot frightening :p

[papayatree]

The white curly girls in my high school back in the 1970's used to do the thing where they laid their hair on an ironing board and ironed it.

They should have talked to the black girls and been educated so that they could have ironed their hair straight with a iron narrow-toothed comb heated in a stove fire. You would check that it was hot enough by pressing it against a paper napkin to see how browned (burned) the paper got. And make sure your hair got well fried by liberally covering it in grease first. Ears and neck could not really be protected and the process took hours.

My dad told my mother that that was a big NOPE for us girls but she overrode and ignored him.

I imagine there must have been discussions like that in my house between parents in pre-20th century China in the foot-binding era.

DAD: Let me get this straight. You are going to tie the girls' feet so that they stay 3 inches long all their lives, breaking their foot arches and bending their toes under so that they break too and making them cripples for life. No. Just--NO.

MOM: But--they will not be beautiful and they will NEVER get married if they have normal feet which are UGLY.

(Dad still says no--so she does it behind his back...)
And so the world goes on.

That is a NOPE for me, no way is a straightener touching my hair, or a hot comb.

[lapis_lazuli]

That is a NOPE for me, no way is a straightener touching my hair, or a hot comb.

I can only imagine the snapping and sizzling as you run it through the hair! :scared:

[chen bao jun]

papayatree and lapis lazuli, you are smart women --and if you have daughters, they are lucky.

It is definitely a never again for me. But one of my friend's recently opened a hair salon and he says he has older black clients who insist on being hot combed, not flat ironed. Flat ironing is also a NOPE for me, though at least then you avoid the part where you are also dragging a fine tooth comb through curly hair, from the roots, which would be horrible even if the comb were not red hot.

Ahh, the smell of your hair burning on a Saturday afternoon...

Another NOPE for me is bleach. And my hair. I don't care what you call it, developer or whatever, I don't care how nice or stylish or cool people say lighter hair is--just. Bleach. My hair. Noooo.......

Also, never ever ever are you coming near my head with some other woman's hair, collected from I don't know where with what sanitation who knows and talking about attaching it to me by ANY method. (Glue, cringe; sewing it in, cringe cringe). I can't think how on earth that one ever caught on. All I can think is that some people will do anything they hear Hollywood stars do, no matter how cringe-making.

I like long hair--but I would rather have short than do that. My own or nothing.

[lapis_lazuli]

papayatree and lapis lazuli, you are smart women --and if you have daughters, they are lucky.

It is definitely a never again for me. But one of my friend's recently opened a hair salon and he says he has older black clients who insist on being hot combed, not flat ironed. Flat ironing (also a NOPE for me, though at least then you avoid the part where you are also dragging a fine tooth comb through curly hair, from the roots, which would be horrible even if the comb were not red hot.

Ahh, the smell of your hair burning on a Saturday afternoon...

Another NOPE for me is bleach. And my hair. I don't care what you call it, developer or whatever, I don't care how nice or stylish or cool people say lighter hair is--just. Bleach. My hair. Noooo.......

You too are very smart! :thumbsup:
Hot irons... bleach... perms... keep it all away!!! :tmi:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

You too are very smart! :thumbsup:
Hot irons... bleach... perms... keep it all away!!! :tmi:

Absolutely - ;) Now that I know better....

[lapis_lazuli]

Absolutely - ;) Now that I know better....

Well, we all had to learn some way! :D ;)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Well, we all had to learn some way! :D ;)

Very true :)

At least I was too lazy to keep up doing damaging things to my hair - well, apart from daily washing for a little while (just totally dried out my hair) and dying it completely unsuitable colours, and a couple of ridiculous perms to get curly hair (you would think I would have learnt the first time).

Now nothing bad touches my hair and am almost completely weaned off the dye too, transitioning to my own silvers and very happy about it too ;)

And it's all thanks to finding TLHC. I wish I had had it when I was in my teens, but no internet back in those prehistoric days :)

[lapis_lazuli]

TLHC has saved me too :D I've learned so much in the year I've been here and will never go back to my old habits. A toast to the wisdom of TLHC :bottomsup:

[Hairkay]

papayatree and lapis lazuli, you are smart women --and if you have daughters, they are lucky.

It is definitely a never again for me. But one of my friend's recently opened a hair salon and he says he has older black clients who insist on being hot combed, not flat ironed. Flat ironing is also a NOPE for me, though at least then you avoid the part where you are also dragging a fine tooth comb through curly hair, from the roots, which would be horrible even if the comb were not red hot.

Ahh, the smell of your hair burning on a Saturday afternoon...

Another NOPE for me is bleach. And my hair. I don't care what you call it, developer or whatever, I don't care how nice or stylish or cool people say lighter hair is--just. Bleach. My hair. Noooo.......

Also, never ever ever are you coming near my head with some other woman's hair, collected from I don't know where with what sanitation who knows and talking about attaching it to me by ANY method. (Glue, cringe; sewing it in, cringe cringe). I can't think how on earth that one ever caught on. All I can think is that some people will do anything they hear Hollywood stars do, no matter how cringe-making.

I like long hair--but I would rather have short than do that. My own or nothing.

Chen,

that's a nope for me too, no hair frying, no bleach, no extension gathered from other's heads or other wise and no glue. I once say a documentary where they tested a sample of hair used for extensions and they found traces the original owner's dandruff still on the hair.

I've been fortunate that my mother hated having her hair pressed and didn't pass it on to our generation. Mother even berated my niece for flat ironing her 5 year old girl's hair once.

[VisionOne]

My big NOPEs are
1) flat-ironing! I used to do it every day on the highest heat setting a couple of years ago.

2) putting it up in a messy bun when wet, going to sleep and then ripping through the massive tangles with a plastic ball-tipped brush the morning after.
My sister does this and then asks me why her hair breaks...

[papayatree]

papayatree and lapis lazuli, you are smart women --and if you have daughters, they are lucky.

It is definitely a never again for me. But one of my friend's recently opened a hair salon and he says he has older black clients who insist on being hot combed, not flat ironed. Flat ironing is also a NOPE for me, though at least then you avoid the part where you are also dragging a fine tooth comb through curly hair, from the roots, which would be horrible even if the comb were not red hot.

Ahh, the smell of your hair burning on a Saturday afternoon...

Another NOPE for me is bleach. And my hair. I don't care what you call it, developer or whatever, I don't care how nice or stylish or cool people say lighter hair is--just. Bleach. My hair. Noooo.......

Also, never ever ever are you coming near my head with some other woman's hair, collected from I don't know where with what sanitation who knows and talking about attaching it to me by ANY method. (Glue, cringe; sewing it in, cringe cringe). I can't think how on earth that one ever caught on. All I can think is that some people will do anything they hear Hollywood stars do, no matter how cringe-making.

I like long hair--but I would rather have short than do that. My own or nothing.

What is the point of damaged hair anyway? It's better to keep it healthy than destroy it because it doesn't look perfect.

[lapis_lazuli]

What is the point of damaged hair anyway? It's better to keep it healthy than destroy it because it doesn't look perfect.

Well hair is pretty easy to manipulate and often when people are looking for a change, they take it out on their hair. Hair is also very significant in our culture and people will do anything to make it look 'perfect' and not care that the condition deteriorates in the process. In the world outside of LHC, people don't mind frying and destroying their hair, which is a shame.

[mermaid lullaby]

Lapis, that was perfectly said

[lapis_lazuli]

Lapis, that was perfectly said

Aw thank you. Though, sadly it is true... :shake:

[mermaid lullaby]

Yeah it is sad

[papayatree]

Lapis and mermaid, you are so right about that. People need to take pride in their appearance and appreciate what they have, instead of hurting it for something they want.

[lapis_lazuli]

Lapis and mermaid, you are so right about that. People need to take pride in their appearance and appreciate what they have, instead of hurting it for something they want.

That is true but to each their own :) People can do what they want with their body, which includes their hair. They have the right. It's just... not for me :tmi:

[papayatree]

That is true but to each their own :) People can do what they want with their body, which includes their hair. They have the right. It's just... not for me :tmi:

I guess what I said was a little bit mean to people who do that to their hair. Same here, no damage for myself.

[lapis_lazuli]

I guess what I said was a little bit mean to people who do that to their hair. Same here, no damage for myself.

No, you're fine! :) We just have a different stance on hair at LHC, and that's okay.

[papayatree]

No, you're fine! :) We just have a different stance on hair at LHC, and that's okay.

Hurray for differences! :toast:

[chen bao jun]

I love it here.
I agree that people should do what they want (so long as they are not borrowing the money for it from me lol) but I reserve the right to not understand why on earth they would do that...
What gets me though is people doing horrid stuff to their children's hair.
I have known mom's relaxing or putting extensions in their 5 year old's hair and I have heard of (but thankfully not seen) it younger than that.
One of my friends, her mother forced her to bleach her hair back very light blonde when it went dark blonde when she was twelve. It went all mushy and completely fell out. It took her years to recover (both her hair and her feelings, since her mom kept bewailing how she wasn't 'perfect' anymore).
Hairkay has a great mom.
I understand there are a certain amount of things moms do because they are busy (keeping a very active child or one who gets tangled hair and then bawls in a short haircut, because you just don't have time and can't take it), but the hair straightening, the bleaching, the extensions, that should be a choice that people make themselves when they are older. Older than 5 years old, anyhow.

[lapis_lazuli]

I love it here.
I agree that people should do what they want (so long as they are not borrowing the money for it from me lol) but I reserve the right to not understand why on earth they would do that...
What gets me though is people doing horrid stuff to their children's hair.
I have known mom's relaxing or putting extensions in their 5 year old's hair and I have heard of (but thankfully not seen) it younger than that.
One of my friends, her mother forced her to bleach her hair back very light blonde when it went dark blonde when she was twelve. It went all mushy and completely fell out. It took her years to recover (both her hair and her feelings, since her mom kept bewailing how she wasn't 'perfect' anymore).
Hairkay has a great mom.
I understand there are a certain amount of things moms do because they are busy (keeping a very active child or one who gets tangled hair and then bawls in a short haircut, because you just don't have time and can't take it), but the hair straightening, the bleaching, the extensions, that should be a choice that people make themselves when they are older. Older than 5 years old, anyhow.

Absolutely! :agree: As I said, it should be up to the individual to decide what to do with their body.
Children are not their parents' property. I can't believe they think they'd have the right to do that :( There was an article circling a while ago about a mom who SHAVED her daughter's hair as punishment for cutting her own bangs. Poor kids. :nono:

[Hairkay]

I love it here.
I agree that people should do what they want (so long as they are not borrowing the money for it from me lol) but I reserve the right to not understand why on earth they would do that...
What gets me though is people doing horrid stuff to their children's hair.
I have known mom's relaxing or putting extensions in their 5 year old's hair and I have heard of (but thankfully not seen) it younger than that.
One of my friends, her mother forced her to bleach her hair back very light blonde when it went dark blonde when she was twelve. It went all mushy and completely fell out. It took her years to recover (both her hair and her feelings, since her mom kept bewailing how she wasn't 'perfect' anymore).
Hairkay has a great mom.
I understand there are a certain amount of things moms do because they are busy (keeping a very active child or one who gets tangled hair and then bawls in a short haircut, because you just don't have time and can't take it), but the hair straightening, the bleaching, the extensions, that should be a choice that people make themselves when they are older. Older than 5 years old, anyhow.

The worst I have seen is hair extensions, box braid on a toddler who has very fine thin fagile 4c type hair. I looked on in disbelief.

I've heard that sometimes it's extended family or family friends who also straighten hair, relax hair, add extensions ect without consulting the parents or doing so with the knowledge that the parents forbade that.

[lapis_lazuli]

The worst I have seen is hair extensions, box braid on a toddler who have very fine thin fagile 4c type hair. I looked on in disbelief.

I've heard that sometimes it's extended family or family friends who also straighten hair, relax hair, add extensions ect without consulting the parents or doing so with the knowledge that the parents forbade that.

Oh, that's awful :( I know I'm not a parent but I would never tamper with my kid's hair like that. I just don't understand how they can make these choices :confused:

[chen bao jun]

I've had three kids, as a parent we all make mistakes. It's not that you think your kids are your property, you do your best in the situation at the time so far as you can judge it (and sometimes you have to make a decision really fast) and yes, you can really blow it. I know I got some things quite wrong (and my kids are happy to let me know it, they range from 21 years old to 30 years old now).

None of them were girls so their hair was never an issue. They would get mad because whenever we were taking them home to visit family, their father would take them to the barber and take it all off, when they were under 12, anyway. then they got older and did what they liked. the middle one did EVERYTHING. He was a blond at one point, he had braids (he even braided his beard and had beads on the ends), he was very self-expressive.

Now he's 28 and surprise, surprise. He goes to the barber himself and regularly gets it shaved all off. Go figure.

The oldest one has a head full of loose curls, its not really an afro hair type. He's the only one like that. He washes his hair but that's about it. It's a matted mess all the time. You can't tell its curls. You can't tell its anything. It's just a mess, seriously. He also shaves it off, when he has a job interview or something. Which is pretty often as he's always changing jobs. I bite my tongue and say--nothing---Either about the hair or the jobs.

The youngest on the other hand, all he does is play with his hair. He has every single curl creating product over. Last time he was home, he was showing me some kind of sponge you run over your hair and it gives you curls..? Supposedly. His hair looked exactly the same to me after he did as before he did it. But it looked nice. I guess he will grow out of this. Or maybe not. It doesn't really matter, I suppose.

He is always saying he will grow his hair really long, but keeps working in food service and they don't like that so he can't yet. We will see.

Reading back over this, it seems, they weren't girls but their hair was still an issue. I have an impression its worse when you have girls though.

[Hairkay]

Oh, that's awful :( I know I'm not a parent but I would never tamper with my kid's hair like that. I just don't understand how they can make these choices :confused:

I just hoped that the little one didn't get the hair follicles damaged because that'd give her alopecia before she got old enough to start nursery.

[lapis_lazuli]

I didn't mean to imply parents can't make mistakes, forgive me if that was the impression I gave off :flower:
I can understand how a parent tries their best to make the right choices in the moment. But the story of this mother shaving her daughter's head really struck a nerve with me. She posted the photo on Facebook to humiliate her and it's just a downright horrid thing to do. :no:

[lapis_lazuli]

I just hoped that the little one didn't get the hair follicles damaged because that'd give her alopecia before she got old enough to start nursery.

That's what I was thinking. Especially toddlers, they're so fragile :(

[chen bao jun]

Yeah, the extended family--
It's not just what they DO sometimes. It's what they SAY. I have some relatives, the stuff that comes out of their mouths---
and little kids believe EVERYTHING. Their egos are more fragile than their hair, definitely.
My husband's family is very good, I had the kids around them more so that they wouldn't have to hear, who was too dark, who was too light, who was too fat, who was just plain stupid, etc. etc.
Grrr.

[Techmouse]

My big nope comes from a friend IRL who has (I think) type 4 hair. She gets relaxers regularly and then flat irons her hair (on the highest setting) every day, so that it will be "slick straight." She once saw my hair in its natural, untamed form, and suggested that I do the same. More power to her if that's what she wants to do, but I couldn't handle that.

[mary*rose]

I love it here.
I agree that people should do what they want (so long as they are not borrowing the money for it from me lol) but I reserve the right to not understand why on earth they would do that...


I wish more people would get this chen

[lillielil]

Absolutely! :agree: As I said, it should be up to the individual to decide what to do with their body.
Children are not their parents' property. I can't believe they think they'd have the right to do that :( There was an article circling a while ago about a mom who SHAVED her daughter's hair as punishment for cutting her own bangs. Poor kids. :nono:

I struggle with this. I always said my son's hair would be his own decision, but ended up cutting it when he was in a childcare situation with a hair-pulling "friend". After that we would suggest a visit to the salon every now and then, and let pick the look he liked (including this (http://www.natsenquirer.com/2013/04/how-bryce-harper-gets-his-hair-to-do-that.html) because he looooooves Bryce Harper). But last month he came home with a great big chunk missing from the front, right down the the scalp. I got out the clippers and buzzed the rest off. I am all for bodily autonomy, but there's a line there somewhere... still not sure I've found it.

[lapis_lazuli]

I struggle with this. I always said my son's hair would be his own decision, but ended up cutting it when he was in a childcare situation with a hair-pulling "friend". After that we would suggest a visit to the salon every now and then, and let pick the look he liked (including this (http://www.natsenquirer.com/2013/04/how-bryce-harper-gets-his-hair-to-do-that.html) because he looooooves Bryce Harper). But last month he came home with a great big chunk missing from the front, right down the the scalp. I got out the clippers and buzzed the rest off. I am all for bodily autonomy, but there's a line there somewhere... still not sure I've found it.

Yes, there definitely is a line. I don't think what you're doing is fine and you sometimes have to make the calls as a parent. :)

[chen bao jun]

Oh, dear, I think I thread-jacked.

Lapis_Lazuli, I didn't think you implied anything wrong. Lillielil, I don't see that you had too much of a choice with the bully pulling his hair out from the scalp like that. Yep, there is the parenting you have in your head and the parenting you actually end up doing when real life situations kick in. Most of us who have our own kids eventually end up realizing that our parents were not as bad as they used to seem when we were kids, even if they did some things that were not optimum. but there are toxic parents out there and honestly, that one who shaved her kid bald and then put it on facebook could use some intervention, though I don't have the answers to these things. State intervention and foster care are so much worse for kids usually than clueless parents (though of course there ARE those parents who will actually kill their kids and call it 'discipline')--see, as I said, I have no answers. And its distressing to think about.

What was the actual topic again? lol

[lapis_lazuli]

Oh, dear, I think I thread-jacked.

Lapis_Lazuli, I didn't think you implied anything wrong. Lillielil, I don't see that you had too much of a choice with the bully pulling his hair out from the scalp like that. Yep, there is the parenting you have in your head and the parenting you actually end up doing when real life situations kick in. Most of us who have our own kids eventually end up realizing that our parents were not as bad as they used to seem when we were kids, even if they did some things that were not optimum. but there are toxic parents out there and honestly, that one who shaved her kid bald and then put it on facebook could use some intervention, though I don't have the answers to these things. State intervention and foster care are so much worse for kids usually than clueless parents (though of course there ARE those parents who will actually kill their kids and call it 'discipline')--see, as I said, I have no answers. And its distressing to think about.

What was the actual topic again? lol

Agreed, chen bao jun :agree:
Topic? Oh right, this started out as a hair-related horrors thread :laugh:

[lillielil]

Yikes! I didn't mean to imply his hair got pulled out. We left that situation long ago. He cut it with scissors and I "tidied up" the rest.

[ThrowNormanAway]

:lol: I would have the iron on a low heat, but it wouldn't straighten it the way I wanted it to and really, all I got were sore arms and a kink in my neck. Don't try this at home :p

I did my prom hair like this one year! Pin straight and Angeles so bad from being cooked that I literally had to spray perfume on my head!! Haha never again!!

[ThrowNormanAway]

I did my prom hair like this one year! Pin straight and Angeles so bad from being cooked that I literally had to spray perfume on my head!! Haha never again!!

Oops, auto-incorrect.. Should read "smelled so bad "