got the locks of love comment!!!! & my salon experience.

[Magicknthenight]

I read on a thread earlier about what days to cut hair and i decided i would give it a try today. Well i went there and had that nice lady again. Though i don't think she remembers me cuz she told me the same story. Anywho she had me stand up again to trim and she even looked at my hair stick and asked where i got it from. On my way out me and the grams were paying and her and some others and my grams were complimenting my hair and she was like "its so beautiful and she takes care of it too i see a lot of people with longer hair that don't take care of it" Then she went on to tell me this story about how this girl came in with long hair but it took hours to untangle. Anyways while they were complimenting me people started looking so i was like thanks :o
THEN! THEN I SAY! This guy in front of me at the register was like "Don't forget theirs locks of love.."shudder::rant::agape::whip::mad
I was VERY offended but didn't say anything because i was so surprised. But that comment really just bothered me! And it sucks because i had prepared what i was gonna say if i ever got told that. something like "They sell most of their hair i rather do something i know is gonna help like donate blood...vs giving Paris Hilton hair extensions" i dunno if i would include the Paris part. But i was just so mad! i mean..maybe he thought it was good advice...but i didn't ask for it! *breathes* I could barely eat my pizza from pizza street. Sha.:sad
I'm over it now i guess but NEXT TIME! i shall say something back!!!
But other then that it was nice. The stylist put some gunk in my hair probably loaded with chemicals so it feels kinda dry..probably one of those serem things. Gonna go take a length picture but she brushed out most of my natural wave with the tiny comb and spray bottle. :evil:
but other then that shes a great stylist. Thanks for listening.

ETA: oh also me and the grams went to the wrong one at first and we didn't realize it till we walked in. So my grams was like..wanna go to the other one and i was like.."Yea sorry" i felt bad i could feel them talking about me as i left -.- but Ive had that lady before and she always cuts too much off.

ETA yet again: i think what made me feel really good was the fact that she said she can tell i take care of it. i do and its nice that someone notices that.

[30isthenewblack]

The hair extensions wholesale industry is not as big in Australia. As far as I'm aware, all hair is imported overseas so we are not subject to suggestions that we should sell our hair to locks of love or charity. I would suggest saying something to the person next time. We can't expect people to be educated if we are not part of the education process. It's all in the delivery. The notion that people think it's ok to suggest that long haired people should sell their hair for charity at all is a strange notion to me in the first place.

In regards to changing the hairdresser, don't worry about that for a second. I would rather be seen as rude and demanding in choosing the hairdresser that I want rather than spending a year regretting a bad haircut. If hairdressers choose not to listen to their clients, then clients can exercise their power in choosing not to let them cut their hair.

[Magicknthenight]

The hair extensions wholesale industry is not as big in Australia. As far as I'm aware, all hair is imported overseas so we are not subject to suggestions that we should sell our hair to locks of love or charity. I would suggest saying something to the person next time. We can't expect people to be educated if we are not part of the education process. It's all in the delivery. The notion that people think it's ok to suggest that long haired people should sell their hair for charity at all is a strange notion to me in the first place.

In regards to changing the hairdresser, don't worry about that for a second. I would rather be seen as rude and demanding in choosing the hairdresser that I want rather than spending a year regretting a bad haircut. If hairdressers choose not to listen to their clients, then clients can exercise their power in choosing not to let them cut their hair.

yea i mean maybe he was just trying to be helpful its just really caught me off guard! As for the hairdresser your right...an awkwardness as we left is much better then having to wait for my hair to grow back.

[Lady Verity]

I did hear that hair for hair extensions come from India or Russia, but there could be exceptions. I've never come across Locks of Love in the UK, but I know I'd be deeply offended if anyone said that kind of thing to me.

Have you considered a retort along the lines of "I'll denote my (insert vital organ here) but not my hair, not never"?

[Magicknthenight]

I did hear that hair for hair extensions come from India or Russia, but there could be exceptions. I've never come across Locks of Love in the UK, but I know I'd be deeply offended if anyone said that kind of thing to me.

Have you considered a retort along the lines of "I'll denote my (insert vital organ here) but not my hair, not never"?
yea he just kinda looked at it..then said that.
haha i didn't think of that comeback line. :rolling:
E_E never got a good comeback when i need one. Only later do i think of some good ones.:confused:

[30isthenewblack]

yea i mean maybe he was just trying to be helpful its just really caught me off guard! As for the hairdresser your right...an awkwardness as we left is much better then having to wait for my hair to grow back.

I don't think you should have to justify to a stranger why you don't want to donate your hair! You will get over the awkwardness a lot quicker than the hair growing back :)

[Carolyn]

I don't think you should have to justify to a stranger why you don't want to donate your hair! You will get over the awkwardness a lot quicker than the hair growing back :)Exactly. I've practiced in front of the mirror "Why don't YOU grow yours and donate it?" I'm sure people with short hair have no idea how rude and offensive their LoL questions are to a person who treasures their long hair. That still doesn't excuse the question.

[GlassEyes]

I wouldn't be offended.

People should expect others to donate just because they have something, I mean, people ahve cars but they don't give tto the homeless. Length is somethin some people work for for themselves, and not giving that up isn't wholly selfish, really.

However, I wouldn't get offended if someone mentioned it to me. If they said 'you should consider locks of love', fine. Whatever, I don't want to, but it's okay.

When they say 'You're selfish to have such long hair and not donate it'...I'll verbally carve up their hide.

[Magicknthenight]

I don't think you should have to justify to a stranger why you don't want to donate your hair! You will get over the awkwardness a lot quicker than the hair growing back :)


Exactly. I've practiced in front of the mirror "Why don't YOU grow yours and donate it?" I'm sure people with short hair have no idea how rude and offensive their LoL questions are to a person who treasures their long hair. That still doesn't excuse the question.

Thanks. sometimes people don't realize how much i care so its natural for me to do that. as for the why don't you grow yours and donate it- i like it! I gotta memorize some of these!:hmm:


I wouldn't be offended.

People should expect others to donate just because they have something, I mean, people ahve cars but they don't give tto the homeless. Length is somethin some people work for for themselves, and not giving that up isn't wholly selfish, really.

However, I wouldn't get offended if someone mentioned it to me. If they said 'you should consider locks of love', fine. Whatever, I don't want to, but it's okay.

When they say 'You're selfish to have such long hair and not donate it'...I'll verbally carve up their hide.
Yea. Part of it was the non-verbal LOOK he gave it.
I hope i never run into anyone that goes far enough to say that! :rant:

ETA: just don't like how some random person would say that

[30isthenewblack]

Exactly. I've practiced in front of the mirror "Why don't YOU grow yours and donate it?" I'm sure people with short hair have no idea how rude and offensive their LoL questions are to a person who treasures their long hair. That still doesn't excuse the question.

I am similarly offended by people asking whether they can straighten my hair or mention straight hair at all. People should really think twice before they speak. I make a point of never commenting on someone's personal appearance unless it is to compliment them or they have asked for my honest opinion and even then, I choose my words carefully.

[Speckla]

He paid you a great compliment by saying you have good hair that anyone would love to have!! I can't wait until mine's long and healthy enough for someone to comment on. ;)
________
NSR50R (http://www.cyclechaos.com/wiki/Honda_NSR50R)

[GlassEyes]

I am similarly offended by people asking whether they can straighten my hair or mention straight hair at all. People should really think twice before they speak. I make a point of never commenting on someone's personal appearance unless it is to compliment them or they have asked for my honest opinion and even then, I choose my words carefully.
I know how that feels. D:

I used t have peopel do it al the time...but now I feel like they're telling me my hair isn't nice enough unless it's straightened. D:

[30isthenewblack]

I know how that feels. D:

I used t have peopel do it al the time...but now I feel like they're telling me my hair isn't nice enough unless it's straightened. D:

I think you have one of the nicest heads of hair on the forum and I particular love how curly hair looks on guys so I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thought. People say it to me all the time and I think it's more that they are conditioned into thinking that straight hair is easier to handle but don't realise how low maintenance curly hair can also be. I am particularly amused that they think that girls whose hair I can tell is either chemically straightened or straightened by a hair iron or has GHD curls takes less time than my hair.

[iluvmy67cuda]

A little off topic, but about hair comments, EVERY time i go see my grandma and grandpa, my grandpa ALWAYS says 'when are you going to cut that hippy hair??" he even offers to pay for the cut, and says to donate it. he says i have too much hair!!! WHATEVER!!! you cant have to much hair!! just like they say you can never be too rich, too thin, or have to much pretty hair!!!

[30isthenewblack]

you can never be too rich, too thin, or have to much pretty hair!!!

Good quote! I like that :)

[minkstole]

I wouldn´t sweat it, if I were you. Whenever people say something rude, I try to not say anything. That way, their rudeness stands alone. Best defense IMO, though it can be difficult to practice.
And who knows if the guy was being rude? The comment is pretty neutral by itself. Maybe he meant that if and when you do cut it, it would be good enough for donation. Tone of voice and The Look are both subject to interpretation, and I think that often we tend to let our own thoughts feed our paranoia.

[smilinjenn71]

I'd just like to offer that it is entirely possible that some people, even salon employees, that don't know that locks of love isn't exactly on the up and up. Perhaps just calmly explainging to them the situation would be the best route. You get your point across and they learn something in the process.;)

[CurlyOne]

In instances like that I try to do my best and educate. Since they don't understand that their comment was offensive you have to explain to them why you don't want to donate. The fact that LoL is a shady organization is not understood. All you have to do is memorize some numbers (donations recieved v. wigs made) and the name of the disease they are actually going for. After that you can tell them that you like your long hair and that you would rather make contributions in other ways.

It's not like they are trying to be mean, they just don't understand. A little education will go a long way towards helping people understand.

[MsHelena]

I think it's incredibly rude in the same way that it would be rude to suggest that someone wearing a nice shirt should donate it to charity or that someone with nice genes should go make a sperm donation. I don't think that strangers should ever comment on such things unless directly asked.

I don't think your unwillingness to donate your hair needs to have anything to do with whether or not LoL is a worthwhile charity. People don't donate things that they still want. They donate things that they are done with. You suggest a friend donate to charity when she's about to throw out old clothing, not when she's just had her favorite shirt dry-cleaned.

Charities for sick children also accept money, cars, property . . . Perhaps a good retort would be to suggest that an individual donate his/her house to a relevant charity.

[spidermom]

I wouldn't be offended. Take it as a compliment on how nice your hair is. I was with an LHC group when we got the "are you growing it to donate it?" comment. I said "we're growing it to enjoy it." 'nuff said!

[Carolyn]

I wouldn't be offended. Take it as a compliment on how nice your hair is. I was with an LHC group when we got the "are you growing it to donate it?" comment. I said "we're growing it to enjoy it." 'nuff said!That's exactly it, Spidermom. We are growing it because we enjoy it and we want it that way. Apparently there are people who can't comprehend that and think that the only purpose of long hair is to be "harvested" for one of the hair donation groups. They can't imagine having long hair for any other reason. I personally find this attitude narrow minded but that's just my perception. I'm sure I could be that way about some things too.

I see nothing wrong in being snarky with such a person. I've tried to explain some of the things we know about LoL and have found that a lot of people are not interested in being informed. They think I'm a liar because I have long hair and don't want to donate it. If someone says something to me (LoL or otherwise) and I feel the need to snark, then snarky I will be. I rather enjoy it when I get the chance :twisted: But that's just me ;)

[spidermom]

If someone says something to me (LoL or otherwise) and I feel the need to snark, then snarky I will be. I rather enjoy it when I get the chance :twisted: But that's just me ;)

And we love that about you, Carolyn. Snark away.

[NightDaemon]

It's weird, I hadn't heard about the idea of donating hair until I got on here, all the hair-cutting stuff I've seen is 'shave or colour' and people sponsor you to do it. Hair gets dumped but money gets raised... Long hair is good because it's long hair!

[angelthadiva]

I'm going to have to donate a kidney, just so I can truthfully say, "Geez, I've already donated a kidney, now YOU people want my hair?!" :D

[Miss Hidley]

yeah I get SO fed up with other people making comments like that! I've never heard of LoL but I have certainly had the judgemental comments about straightening my hair and when I was living in Australia also about my pale skin. It makes me feel as though my appearance is now some sort of political statement instead of just the way I was born! Carolyn I can relate to your desire to be snarky ;-) oftentimes I don't hesitate to put them in their place!!

[Magicknthenight]

He paid you a great compliment by saying you have good hair that anyone would love to have!! I can't wait until mine's long and healthy enough for someone to comment on. ;)
hmm i rather him just say he likes my hair but i see where your coming from.


I know how that feels. D:

I used t have peopel do it al the time...but now I feel like they're telling me my hair isn't nice enough unless it's straightened. D:


I think you have one of the nicest heads of hair on the forum and I particular love how curly hair looks on guys so I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thought. People say it to me all the time and I think it's more that they are conditioned into thinking that straight hair is easier to handle but don't realise how low maintenance curly hair can also be. I am particularly amused that they think that girls whose hair I can tell is either chemically straightened or straightened by a hair iron or has GHD curls takes less time than my hair.

I think curly hair is beautiful. My sister once told me my hair was frizzy and offered to straighten it for me ;_; Whats with this straight obsession. I know this lady that lets her natural curls come out. Her hair is a reddish color. ITS BEAUTIFUL :D



A little off topic, but about hair comments, EVERY time i go see my grandma and grandpa, my grandpa ALWAYS says 'when are you going to cut that hippy hair??" he even offers to pay for the cut, and says to donate it. he says i have too much hair!!! WHATEVER!!! you cant have to much hair!! just like they say you can never be too rich, too thin, or have to much pretty hair!!!
haha yea you can't have enough hair :cool:


I wouldn´t sweat it, if I were you. Whenever people say something rude, I try to not say anything. That way, their rudeness stands alone. Best defense IMO, though it can be difficult to practice.
And who knows if the guy was being rude? The comment is pretty neutral by itself. Maybe he meant that if and when you do cut it, it would be good enough for donation. Tone of voice and The Look are both subject to interpretation, and I think that often we tend to let our own thoughts feed our paranoia.



I'd just like to offer that it is entirely possible that some people, even salon employees, that don't know that locks of love isn't exactly on the up and up. Perhaps just calmly explainging to them the situation would be the best route. You get your point across and they learn something in the process.;)


In instances like that I try to do my best and educate. Since they don't understand that their comment was offensive you have to explain to them why you don't want to donate. The fact that LoL is a shady organization is not understood. All you have to do is memorize some numbers (donations recieved v. wigs made) and the name of the disease they are actually going for. After that you can tell them that you like your long hair and that you would rather make contributions in other ways.

It's not like they are trying to be mean, they just don't understand. A little education will go a long way towards helping people understand.
certain looks are pretty obvious. i don't think i was ever paranoid about someone saying that i was actually really surprised.
i would think he wouldn't want it to go to waste and was just offering advice but it was unwanted. That along with the look was what kinda got me. I didn't say anything to him but i wish i could have at least gotten the message of how it can be shady.that's a good idea. i guess a lot of people don't know much about it.




I think it's incredibly rude in the same way that it would be rude to suggest that someone wearing a nice shirt should donate it to charity or that someone with nice genes should go make a sperm donation. I don't think that strangers should ever comment on such things unless directly asked.

I don't think your unwillingness to donate your hair needs to have anything to do with whether or not LoL is a worthwhile charity. People don't donate things that they still want. They donate things that they are done with. You suggest a friend donate to charity when she's about to throw out old clothing, not when she's just had her favorite shirt dry-cleaned.

Charities for sick children also accept money, cars, property . . . Perhaps a good retort would be to suggest that an individual donate his/her house to a relevant charity.
Very true....even if he was trying to be helpful he doesn't know if i planned on cutting it or how much i enjoyed it.


I wouldn't be offended. Take it as a compliment on how nice your hair is. I was with an LHC group when we got the "are you growing it to donate it?" comment. I said "we're growing it to enjoy it." 'nuff said!


That's exactly it, Spidermom. We are growing it because we enjoy it and we want it that way. Apparently there are people who can't comprehend that and think that the only purpose of long hair is to be "harvested" for one of the hair donation groups. They can't imagine having long hair for any other reason. I personally find this attitude narrow minded but that's just my perception. I'm sure I could be that way about some things too.

I see nothing wrong in being snarky with such a person. I've tried to explain some of the things we know about LoL and have found that a lot of people are not interested in being informed. They think I'm a liar because I have long hair and don't want to donate it. If someone says something to me (LoL or otherwise) and I feel the need to snark, then snarky I will be. I rather enjoy it when I get the chance :twisted: But that's just me ;)
Yea i have said stuff about locks of love to my friends before. They just kinda go quiet on me. I guess its hard to believe something you thought was out to do good was out for profit as well.


I'm going to have to donate a kidney, just so I can truthfully say, "Geez, I've already donated a kidney, now YOU people want my hair?!" :D haha that would certaintly stun them! Just when they thought they were trying to get you to do something good you tell them that and they see what a kind person you are. not selfish at all.


yeah I get SO fed up with other people making comments like that! I've never heard of LoL but I have certainly had the judgemental comments about straightening my hair and when I was living in Australia also about my pale skin. It makes me feel as though my appearance is now some sort of political statement instead of just the way I was born! Carolyn I can relate to your desire to be snarky ;-) oftentimes I don't hesitate to put them in their place!!
Depends on the mood eh? yea....Ive gotten a lot of comments on my skin. Like "OH MY GOD YOUR SO WHITE!" or this guy that met my family was like "HOW IS SHE A QUARTER MEXICAN BUT ALBINO!?"
That was rude -.- i think they defiantly took it out of proportion.
Some have even told me i should go tanning. -.- NO! i don't want the upkeep and i have no problem with what color i am. I think it has to do with trends. a lot of people around me are trying to be tan. Just like a lot of people around me are trying to cut and color their hair to match celebrities. i don't care if they do it. as long as they don't tell me to.

[minkstole]

It´s all about perception. In some circles it would be a compliment being told "OH MY GOD YOUR SO WHITE!". Any goth-princess would be envious;)
The same principle applies to the hair.
Unsolicited advice/comments are always unwanted when they are not what we want to hear. If someone had said "man you´re beautiful! Don´t ever cut that hair" then it probably would have been ok.

[heidi w.]

MOST OF THE HAIR IS THROWN AWAY, even before anything is sold. 60%

Read the NY Times article. There are 2 cullings to throw away hair: one when it initially arrives at LoL, and another when the remaining hair is then sent on to Taylormade (yes, Taylormade, the golf company). In the NY Times article (there's another thread on this right now on the Mane Forum) Taylormade states that sometimes they just have to clean the place out.

That's the real tragedy. It's not even sold and thus used at all!

heidi w.

[Magicknthenight]

MOST OF THE HAIR IS THROWN AWAY, even before anything is sold. 60%

Read the NY Times article. There are 2 cullings to throw away hair: one when it initially arrives at LoL, and another when the remaining hair is then sent on to Taylormade (yes, Taylormade, the golf company). In the NY Times article (there's another thread on this right now on the Mane Forum) Taylormade states that sometimes they just have to clean the place out.

That's the real tragedy. It's not even sold and thus used at all!

heidi w. Wow that's horrible think of all the people that took the time to grow it out just for something they thought would help. hmm I bet if they didn't have as much hair they would appreciate it more

[DarkChocolate]

I would have been bothered too!

It is just another example of someone giving advice or making a suggestion about something that is none of his/her business.

It is a lot of work to take care of your hair too. And once it is long and beautiful you deserve to keep it for yourself:)

[MadHatter]

Some have even told me i should go tanning. -.- NO! i don't want the upkeep and i have no problem with what color i am. I think it has to do with trends. a lot of people around me are trying to be tan. Just like a lot of people around me are trying to cut and color their hair to match celebrities. i don't care if they do it. as long as they don't tell me to.

My prepared response for people who tell me I should get a tan is "I need a tan like I need skin cancer." And that's the end of it :)

[NightDaemon]

Just so long as you don't spraypaint yourself orange like so many weird people seem to like to do...

[Ksenia]

My prepared response for people who tell me I should get a tan is "I need a tan like I need skin cancer." And that's the end of it :)
Ooo I love that response! I get people telling me I should tan all the time, I just haven't come up with a good snappy answer like yours.

[ArienEllariel]

Depends on the mood eh? yea....Ive gotten a lot of comments on my skin. Like "OH MY GOD YOUR SO WHITE!" or this guy that met my family was like "HOW IS SHE A QUARTER MEXICAN BUT ALBINO!?"
That was rude -.- i think they defiantly took it out of proportion.
Some have even told me i should go tanning. -.- NO! i don't want the upkeep and i have no problem with what color i am. I think it has to do with trends. a lot of people around me are trying to be tan. Just like a lot of people around me are trying to cut and color their hair to match celebrities. i don't care if they do it. as long as they don't tell me to.


My prepared response for people who tell me I should get a tan is "I need a tan like I need skin cancer." And that's the end of it :)

I've actually come to the conclusion that I really like white skin (as in untanned). It looks more natural and is prettier than tanned/skin cancer prone skin. I've had people think I was weird before for not tanning. Part of the reason I don't is A. I don't want skin cancer and B. I don't tan, I freckle and burn.