Help

[Breezy]

Back in May this hairdresser overthinned my hair and it's still a mess. I try to wear it down, it's naturally curly, not too curly but I can't figure out how to wear it now. I want to shave my head! If I let it dry natural it looks like Bozo, so I blow it dry and put curl in it, not much helps, it always looks so ugly to me. I tend to take my emotions out on my hair. I can spend hours on it and nothing helps. I have a condition call body dysmorphic disorder which causes me to never see it right (it's imagined ugliness). I'm filled with anxiety over it and depression. It's bsl and looks short to me because of the thinner ends. I trimmed an inch already which helped some. I try to wear it up and it looks awful still. It feels like I'm punishing myself. I guess I need some encouragement. I'm asking you lovely ladies if you have any advice for me. Does anyone get so OCD over your hair? Thank you for reading this.:cry:

[turtlelover]

Maybe if you posted some photos, someone w/ similar hair could give you some suggestions. I am sorry you are feeling this way, but sometimes we are our own worst enemy, and things are a lot better than we think.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Well, usually people are more worried about what they look like than what you look like, if that's any help, also it's likely that you are being much too hard on yourself. Have you tried using any pretty hair toys/ clips/to make you feel better about your hair? What do others say about it, do they tell you it looks fine? If they do, then it likely is fine. I hope you learn to be kind to yourself, feeling bad about the way you look feels really bad and just gets you feeling miserable.

I know that for myself, cultivating a feeling of gratitude for blessings and people in my life helped a lot with the negative self talk. Hugs!:)

[Arete]

Maybe get a pretty toy you really like to help you feel prettier when it's up? Sometimes I struggle with hating my hair, but I try to think of my goals and how it will look when I'm there, and new styles I'll be able to do.
Try experiment with different styles, learn to braid. Have fun with your hair!

[lapushka]

Maybe you can post a picture and we can reassure you. Seems especially important since you don't see it right.

[Breezy]

thank you turtlelover, yes that's so true about being our own worse enemy.

[Breezy]

Hi lapushka, my phone camera is acting up right now, but soon I will post pics. thank you.

[Breezy]

you have gorgeous hair sarahlabyrinth! true, people tell me my hair looks nice, but ever since the girl butchered my hair it just hasn't been the same. I really like what you said that people are more concerned with what they look like than me. LOL thank you for the encouragement. OH btw, Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior too.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

That's wonderful, Breezy! :) Thank you. Looking forward to seeing your hair. If people are telling you your hair looks nice, then I'm sure it does. And you will be able to grow the thickness back again. So you get to join in the patient waiting game we are all in to get our hair just the way we want it ;) We are all in this together, so you don't need to feel alone.

[Breezy]

That's wonderful, Breezy! :) Thank you. Looking forward to seeing your hair. If people are telling you your hair looks nice, then I'm sure it does. And you will be able to grow the thickness back again. So you get to join in the patient waiting game we are all in to get our hair just the way we want it ;) We are all in this together, so you don't need to feel alone.

thank you for your encouragement, and that I'm not alone in this. I think I take out my problems on my poor hair.

[ChloeDharma]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. For many of us what we see as little imperfections can be exaggerated to a point we believe they look much worse than they really do but as you have body dysmorphia I can imagine this must be a whole other level to what many of us can relate to.
Do you have a therapist/counsellor you see or can make an appointment with? Maybe the answer to this is a more therapy based solution outside of what advice we can offer here. Of course we can offer support and I am confident that when people look at your hair they see nothing wrong with it and that it looks nice but I fear telling you this may not be enough to ease your distress.
I hope some talking therapy helps you and hopefully you may be able to distract yourself with pretty hair toys, updo's etc when feeling calmer. Good luck :flower: