I think my hair is ruined

[Jade.Crusader]

A couple of years ago our university put in a nice, new shower room but they messed up the installation of the handles in every single shower stall. There was no temperature control and it would be ice cold for 30 seconds and then be molten lava hot. I was stall hopping to shower in the ice cold water instead of the molten water when someone what came in and I felt shy so I finished my shower in the molten water. For days my scalp hurt because I burned it and then my scalp scabbed over. I went to the nurses office and she heard my story and saw my issue (if you have ever had children my scalp was almost like cradle cap) and she said to just scrub good in the shower and it should go away soon.

Well fast forward three years and two babies later and my hair is a MESS. It still has a covering of white scab under my hair (thank goodness my hair is thick and you can't see it unless you are digging in there and looking). My hair used to be so thick and soft and perfectly luxurious (I'm probably exaggerating because of how much of a contrast it is now). Now it, the back, is kinky, coarse, and akin to African American hair (not that there is anything wrong with that, but this is not genetics, it's damage and feels wrong). It feels awful. Since the kinks were only in the back underneath I was so frustrated with the mess it had become. Blow drying took over an hour; air drying never happened. It just NEVER got dry because it was so coarse. Just a big, limp, dull, coarse mess that I had no idea how to handle.

So I chopped it off. It was actually kind of cute until I went in for a bang trim and the stylist BUTCHERED it! It's so ugly now! And short. And worthless. And to make things worse it is still growing out coarse and kinky and my scalp is all scabby. What can I do???

I'm about ready to just go bald and be done with it.

[Chocowalnut]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I don't have much advice except to maybe see a dermatologist or something. There might be a treatment you can get. As for the short style you don't like, that'll grow out soon. But if the texture is still off and you're not doing anything to cause it (heat-styling, coloring), I'd see a doctor.

[Duchess Fuzzy Buns]

That sounds really awful. I second going to see a dermatologist. I can't believe your poor scalp hasn't healed in all this time. :(

[Arctic]

I'm not generally one to right away say "go see a doctor", because I find it a bit irritating, but now I feel I have to echo Chocowalnut that it probably is the wisest to do just that.

Changed texture can mean for example damaged hair follicles, or some non-dangerous hormone shift, or some more serious hormone shift, like thyroid problems. Having a hairtype changing once or more during person's life isn't uncommon though, even I have had that happen. Very often it happens with big hormonal shifts, like teenage, pregnancy, menopause, and so on.

The scalp might be anything: fungal infection, psoriasis, SD (seborrheic dermatitis) ... or something else.


I'm sorry you've had all these problems, and the latest drop in the bucket is the bad haircut - as if you would have needed it :grouphug:
We can help you grow your hair, and maybe style it so that it looks better while it grows. But we, internet strangers, can't really help with the scalp problems, you would really need to show it to someone (doctor, dermatologist). We can ofcourse tell if someone has had similar experiences, ahd support you, and maybe, maybe even find some answer.


Good luck to your journey, you can do this!


PS. My wiry, kinky hairs love being free of build-up, much moisture, and a no-protein containing hair products regime.

[lapushka]

The scalp might be anything: fungal infection, psoriasis, SD (seborrheic dermatitis) ... or something else.

This does sound like the nurse was right - this has nothing to do with water temperature, not if you had it for so long. I would try a shampoo such as Nizoral for instance (suds up, leave for 5 min., suds again (wash) and rinse well). Follow the instructions to the T! But I would not do this before going to see a doctor about this.

I wonder, I mean, why leave this for so long? This sounds way off to me.

[luxurioushair]

When it comes to the scalp issues, only a doctor can really tell you what's going on. Your hair texture has changed, simply learn how to care for that texture.

[spidermom]

Hair texture can change whether you burn your scalp or not. That issue has healed and probably has very little to do with what you are experiencing now. See a doctor and deal with what you have now.

[vpatt]

I'm not saying you have psoriasis, but as an example....if you had psoriasis then trauma can cause a breakout. I have had breakouts in places never before bothered once by a burn and once by a broken bone when there was no visible skin damage. I have to agree with seeing a doctor, too. And I am not big on them either. Good luck and I am sorry for your scalp issue.

[chen bao jun]

Your hair texture more probably changed because of having children. as everyone else said, your scalp needs a dermatologist to check what happened there. As luxurious hair said, the best thing to do if your hair texture has changed, learn how to deal with the new texture. We have threads here on LHC with advice for handling different hair types, whether 'born with' or 'changed to'. There are several threads detailing how people's hair can change at various periods during their life for different reasons (hormones being one of them).

If your hair really has got 'coarse' (thick diameter of each hair) we have a thread on that. You say your hair has got 'akin to African American' though from damage-- what do you mean by that? As is, its a meaningless kind of statement as African American people have so many different types of hair (and generally speaking, fine, not coarse and soft to touch, not wiry when properly cared for). Has it developed a curl pattern of smaller curls? do you need advice on curls? Curls don't develop from damage, in a fact a characteristic of damaged hair is that it does NOT curl. If you have developed curls and do not know how to moisturize your hair properly now, that would be why your hair is feeling 'wiry', which is a sign of being dry and not cared for properly in curly hair. If you learn to care for your new hair, it will be better for you even if you decided you want to modify it in some way because you prefer it the way it was formerly. If you know what you have, you will be able to learn how to care for it.

If you seriously want advice and help so far as the hair (we cant' help with the scalp) you should post pictures of your current hair so we know what you are talking about. From your post, its impossible to tell.

[lapushka]

If you seriously want advice and help so far as the hair (we cant' help with the scalp) you should post pictures of your current hair so we know what you are talking about. From your post, its impossible to tell.

A picture would most certainly help, yes! :)

[cat11]

Yes a pic would help. And more detailed description of the texture . I think you meant it was rough when you said course, right? Is It curling? And then does your regular hair curl too?

Has your hair been this different texture ever since the burn, the whole time?

When it was healing the first time did you ever see a better doctor than the school nurse?

I would also go and see a dermatologist. The white scab sounds very weird. a scar, I would expect, but not a scab. Im sorry you're dealing with this, it sounds very frustrating.

[Colochita]

I second going to see a doctor.

I also second the 'akin to African American hair' comment to be a bit misguided, just as a reference for future cultural interactions. Not all AA hair is the same, etc., and to liken your now damaged hair to all AA hair isn't okay.

[Mavi]

Jade.Crusader; my best friend burnt herself so badly in Singapore over the summer that she was hospitalized for nine months, and she was told that she would loose all of her hair. Well, she babied her hair and victory was hers!
All I'm trying to say is hang in there.
I hope you find something here on LHC that brings you and your hair comfort, and garner hope in the knowledge that someone has made a come back from something similar.

[palaeoqueen]

I agree that something like psoriasis sounds more likely to be the issue with your scalp but you definitely need to get a doctor to look at it. I also don't fully follow the AA reference either, in my experience, AA hair is incredibly soft and delicate, not coarse.

Do you have some pictures you could share with us?

[luxurioushair]

I second going to see a doctor.

I also second the 'akin to African American hair' comment to be a bit misguided, just as a reference for future cultural interactions. Not all AA hair is the same, etc., and to liken your now damaged hair to all AA hair isn't okay.
Actually it's downright absurd, but I think that's pretty obvious to anyone reading it. One the one hand "there isn't anything wrong with that"...but on the other hand "it's damage" / "it feels awful", so which one is it???? Is it bad or is it good? LOL
It's very unlikely that OP's hair resembles any type of African hair, but rather it has been dried and damaged, and perhaps matted.

[lapushka]

Wonder where the OP is, though. :confused:

[chen bao jun]

It was an off-putting remark, certainly and definitely showed a lack of knowledge. I don't think she intended to be rude but sometimes "I don't mean this in a bad way" is not quite enough to make a comment--not rude.

On the other hand, I did feel very sorry for her, she sounded as if she was really suffering between the scalp and the hair and had no idea where to turn. I guess she is not interested in our advice however since she has not been heard from in so long. She may not feel like/know how to post hair photos and we can't do much without them. Hopefully she did get to a dermatologist, but it seems like we will never know.

Not everybody actually wants to fix their hair either. Some people just want to vent but not make the effort, especially if they feel 'wronged' that they didn't used to have to work at something but now they do. Shrug. I don't know if that's the case with her, I hope not. I guess time will tell.

[Jo Ann]

Definitely see a dermatologist. It could be a skin condition or a scalp infection.

I was thinking maybe a hair mask of castor oil and EVOO or cocoanut oil might help the flaking?

[lapushka]

Definitely see a dermatologist. It could be a skin condition or a scalp infection.

I was thinking maybe a hair mask of castor oil and EVOO or cocoanut oil might help the flaking?

Except, if it is not just "dry" and it is something fungal, recommending oils isn't a good thing!

[spidermom]

I think you're right chen bao jun - she wanted to vent and then move on.

[cat11]

It gets old when people sign up and ask for advice and then dissapear. And everyone who tried to help them is left wondering what happened. Honestly tho in this case Op would probably be too embarrasses to post again anyway after everybody (rightly so) commented about her lack of taste and that she might not even care about getting help

[chen bao jun]

I just feel sorry for people with ruined hair--even somewhat tactless people. (I have been known to be tactless myself, its not that hard to do online to be truthful).
Especially when there is actually help available.

As a woman, it really doesn't feel good to have wrecked hair, I know because of my mother who is always wrecking her hair and still cares so much she's having issues and hates wearing a wig even at age 84--

On the other hand, I have to let go of that, because the fact is, that although Mom will take advice about her hair once she's trashed and do what its takes to bring it back (which she's fortunate so far and has always been able to )--she goes right back to doing what she did before the minute its better.

Which is another story from the OP, but equally sad.

And equally not really my business. It's not my hair.

[lapushka]

It gets old when people sign up and ask for advice and then dissapear. And everyone who tried to help them is left wondering what happened. Honestly tho in this case Op would probably be too embarrasses to post again anyway after everybody (rightly so) commented about her lack of taste and that she might not even care about getting help

Commenting about a lack of taste? Where? I must have read over that part. :shrug:

[Unicorn]

Except, if it is not just "dry" and it is something fungal, recommending oils isn't a good thing!

Coconut oil and Castor oil both have anti-fungal properties.

Unicorn

[Alex Lou]

Getting kinky hair from hormones is something that does happen. I do think it's accurate (although not sensitive) to compare it to afro textured hair. At puberty, my brother's hair went from straight, or nearly straight to kinky and he even grew it into a fro for a while. Mine only got kinky in certain places, staying slightly wavy in others.

[lapushka]

Coconut oil and Castor oil both have anti-fungal properties.

Yes, but people with SD generally can't cope with oil on their head. The anti fungal properties might not be enough to deal with the SD. I know when I put coconut oil on my scalp, it progressively all gets worse. Just my experience. Take it for what it's worth. :)

[TR]

Yes, but people with SD generally can't cope with oil on their head. The anti fungal properties might not be enough to deal with the SD. I know when I put coconut oil on my scalp, it progressively all gets worse. Just my experience. Take it for what it's worth. :)

Agreed! I've seen some people who have gotten SD relief from oils but I can't tolerate oil or conditioner of any kind anywhere on my hair or scalp; even treating the very ends of my hair when it was longer resulted in terrible SD flareups on my scalp and eyebrows as well as acne on my face, back, neck and chest. I've never had hair past BSL; maybe if my hair gets really long I'll be able to use oil or conditioner on the ends without causing scalp & skin problems.

[cat11]

Commenting about a lack of taste? Where? I must have read over that part. :shrug:

I was reffering to the thing about her saying that her damaged hair was like African American hair.

[chen bao jun]

Getting kinky hair from hormones is something that does happen. I do think it's accurate (although not sensitive) to compare it to afro textured hair. At puberty, my brother's hair went from straight, or nearly straight to kinky and he even grew it into a fro for a while. Mine only got kinky in certain places, staying slightly wavy in others.

Its not accurate. I am of African descent and have an afro curly hair type --and I can't 'grow' into a 'fro. When I had an afro, I had to roll up very dry unmoisturized hair on literally 50 plus curl papers every night and tease it constantly during the day in an attempt to get it to go upwards into the air. Which didn't work very well. And my hairtype, 3c is not uncommon for African descent people to have, at all, I'm not some 'outlier'.

The point some of us are trying to make here is not a 'politically correct' point. We are trying to say, politely, that referring to hair as 'kinky' or 'afro-textured' or "African American hair" is not only lumping many different hairtypes under one umbrella, but its completely uninformative as to what the hair is actually like. Thus making it impossible to give advice, which she seemed to want (before she disappeared).

The OP offended some by referring to her hair as 'damaged' and then comparing it, albeit with a disclaimer, to the hair of a large, diverse group of people who have many different curl patterns, hair textures and densities, but the main point is, she made no sense. And you also are not making sense. We are on a hair forum where we use technical terms, but they are few and are not hard to learn to describe our different types of human hair.

We get the point that hairtypes do drastically change at different times of some people's lives, and puberty is definitely a common time for this to happen but saying that someone's hair got 'kinky'or 'afro' isn't saying anything and to be honest, reveals that a person is completely clueless about African hair typeS and in your case, possibly not interested in learning either (since you read all the previous posts and still are able to write this global statement).

I don't mean to be harsh but do feel somewhat irritated.

ETA: If you can't 'get' what I am saying, think how idiotic you would sound if you said someone had a 'Caucasian' hairtype. It's a silly statement like that. There ARE black people who do say things like that and they have the same problem you are having. Uninformed about the unfamiliar, which is not a crime, but being unwilling to learn is irritating.

[lapushka]

I was reffering to the thing about her saying that her damaged hair was like African American hair.

Oh okay, gotcha! :)

[Silverbrumby]

Thank you for this informative clarification. I've been guilty of of lumping hair types together when describing my sons hair.


Its not accurate. I am of African descent and have an afro curly hair type --and I can't 'grow' into a 'fro. When I had an afro, I had to roll up very dry unmoisturized hair on literally 50 plus curl papers every night and tease it constantly during the day in an attempt to get it to go upwards into the air. Which didn't work very well. And my hairtype, 3c is not uncommon for African descent people to have, at all, I'm not some 'outlier'.

The point some of us are trying to make here is not a 'politically correct' point. We are trying to say, politely, that referring to hair as 'kinky' or 'afro-textured' or "African American hair" is not only lumping many different hairtypes under one umbrella, but its completely uninformative as to what the hair is actually like. Thus making it impossible to give advice, which she seemed to want (before she disappeared).

The OP offended some by referring to her hair as 'damaged' and then comparing it, albeit with a disclaimer, to the hair of a large, diverse group of people who have many different curl patterns, hair textures and densities, but the main point is, she made no sense. And you also are not making sense. We are on a hair forum where we use technical terms, but they are few and are not hard to learn to describe our different types of human hair.

We get the point that hairtypes do drastically change at different times of some people's lives, and puberty is definitely a common time for this to happen but saying that someone's hair got 'kinky'or 'afro' isn't saying anything and to be honest, reveals that a person is completely clueless about African hair typeS and in your case, possibly not interested in learning either (since you read all the previous posts and still are able to write this global statement).

I don't mean to be harsh but do feel somewhat irritated.

ETA: If you can't 'get' what I am saying, think how idiotic you would sound if you said someone had a 'Caucasian' hairtype. It's a silly statement like that. There ARE black people who do say things like that and they have the same problem you are having. Uninformed about the unfamiliar, which is not a crime, but being unwilling to learn is irritating.

[Colochita]

chen sums it up very well.

What was off putting to me was the way OP goes: 'My hair was soft, luxurious, thick, and then...' and immediately after she likens it to 'African American' hair, implying that it's the direct opposite. Her hair is damaged, not 'African American' hair.

Kinky hair can be soft, luxurious, thick, and beautiful. Mine surely is. :rolleyes:

I know OP likely didn't mean her statement in a negative way, but it's a common stereotype about 'black hair' (damaged-looking, hard, coarse, etc.) that people are really trying hard to fight.

[chen bao jun]

Silver Brumby, you haven't done anything wrong at all. :) People just don't know these things and how could they if someone doesn't tell them.

As I said, people of African descent have been heard to do the same thing, referring to 'white people hair' as if everyone had the exact hair and let's not go even start on the subject of 'Asian' hair, especially 'East Asian' referred to as if it was just one always uniform kind of hair.

I probably shouldn't have blown up at the second person, just felt, as I said, irritated at having to make the same point twice in the same thread. OR so I felt--I do know that no offense was meant at all that time and probably overreacted.

[Silverbrumby]

Silver Brumby, you haven't done anything wrong at all. :) People just don't know these things and how could they if someone doesn't tell them.

As I said, people of African descent have been heard to do the same thing, referring to 'white people hair' as if everyone had the exact hair and let's not go even start on the subject of 'Asian' hair, especially 'East Asian' referred to as if it was just one always uniform kind of hair.

I probably shouldn't have blown up at the second person, just felt, as I said, irritated at having to make the same point twice in the same thread. OR so I felt--I do know that no offense was meant at all that time and probably overreacted.
I love to gather information and this was very helpful. I've been a bad wife when talking about my husbands Indonesian/dutch hair. When I first met him he has APL hair in black shiny ringlets. I had hair ENVY! lol. Anyway he then informed me of the huge time management issues he had with maintaining that hair and while it broke my heart I accepted his decision to cut it all off after we had been dating. He's still handsome but god... what I would have given for such a head of hair. My son has his Indonesian grandfathers hair and it's very very thick, each strand, course and beautifully curly like his dads. He won't go to a barber (he's now 16) or hairdresser and will only have me cut it. It's been... challenging. I'm partly on these boards to learn how he can best take care of it. How to stop it frizzing, better products for it etc. I really love his hair now I've come to understand it better. I was guilty of calling it an afro at one point being totally uneducated and Australian. Education is a great thing. Thank you.

[chen bao jun]

OT but I have to ask. Some of my cousins are Dutch, from the Caribbean. They make a lot of Indonesian food which is wonderful. Can you get nasi goreng or these other wonderful dishes from your husband's family?

Oh, and his hair sounds gorgeous long or short

[Unicorn]

Yes, but people with SD generally can't cope with oil on their head. The anti fungal properties might not be enough to deal with the SD. I know when I put coconut oil on my scalp, it progressively all gets worse. Just my experience. Take it for what it's worth. :)

I haven't used them specifically for SD, but I have used them for their anti-fungal properties and had positive results. Caster oil is also recommended for hair loss (think monsurat sp?) though it doesn't work for everyone, it works for some.

Unicorn